FAQ

These are the answers to the questions is get the most frequently in emails and the comments sections. If there’s anything else you’d like clarified, email stuffblackpeoplehate@gmail.com.

Q. Why are you so bitter?

A. This and this have a lot to do with it.

Q. Is this site really about stuff black people hate, or is it just stuff you hate?

A. It all depends on how you define ‘black people’.

Most people go with the tacit definition of ‘black people’ – that is, a ‘high’ percentage of black people. The problem is that very few people are willing to define what that percentage is. Is it 90%? 80%? 50%? 25%? You may think 25% is a low and unreasonable number, but anyone who has ever gathered 100 random black people together and tried to get 25 of them to agree on something will say otherwise. For reasons such as these, agreeing on this percentage is literally impossible. It will always be a matter of opinion as to what constitutes a quorum of black opinion. This leaves the commonly accepted definition of ‘black people’ subject to change, and this is unacceptable to me.

Therefore, for the purposes of this site, I prefer to draw on the literal (or mathematical) meaning of ‘black people’ – as in “more than one black person”. This is a definition that no one can argue with as long as you make it clear that it’s the literal definition that you’re using.*

As such, this blog could also be called ‘Stuff More Than One Black Person Hates’, which is almost certainly accurate in that, for every post I make, I’m sure that I could find at least one of the 40 million or so black people in the country who agrees with it. I did not use this name, however, because it makes for an awkward URL.

And there you have it.

*I don’t make this clarification anywhere on my blog that’s clearly visible, mostly because I am an asshole.

Q. Do your posts reflect your real opinions? Or are you exaggerating?

A. In just about every post on this site, I drift between my real feelings and satire like an injured boxer drifting in and out of consciousness. Part of what makes writing this blog interesting is seeing where people draw the line between humor and seriousness, because most of the time I don’t draw it for them. Some authors would feel compelled to make the distinction clear each and every time to keep their readers from becoming frustrated. I, personally, do not feel so compelled.

When I started writing this blog, I did so assuming the audience would consist of myself and my closest friends (at first, it actually did) and wrote the blog geared toward them. There was never a need to me to clarify anything because my friends know when I’m serious and when I’m not. I did not, at the time, anticipate this blog becoming popular.

I made the conscious decision not to alter my writing style once the blog caught on because I felt doing so would be a disservice to the reader I value the most: the one who doesn’t take himself seriously, the one who is happy to laugh at himself/life, and the one who does this even if he/she doesn’t agree with me. Since I didn’t change up the style, though, I get plenty of other readers who take the blog 100% seriously and will either try to engage me in serious debate or simply try to ‘serve’ me intellectually. While I respect these individuals (at least those from the first group, anyway), I have to say in all honesty that I don’t write this blog to wax sophisticated with anyone. I don’t write this blog to stimulate dialog. It’s not because I can’t – it’s because I don’t feel like it. These folks view this site as being able to spark a kind of cerebral debate akin to lovemaking. I view this site as a one-sided and occasionally-didactic polemic that’s more akin to drunk-fucking or masturbation.

I suppose that doesn’t really clear up anything. Fuck it.

Q. Are you ‘Admiral Furious’?

A. This is a common misconception.

For those new to the site, a lot of comments on the blog are left under the name ‘Admiral Furious’ – and I suppose that due to the number and length of these comments (and the fact that the title image of this blog once featured him), many people think that Admiral Furious is the author of this blog. This is not the case.

So to put the whole thing to bed: Admiral Furious is one of my closest, dearest, and clinically insane friends, as indicated by the fact that I helped him paint his house and sandblast his walls (this second part, admittedly, I did mostly to entertain myself because I like power tools, and I like making a mess). Admiral Furious and I, however, are two different people.

Any comments I post are under the name ‘stuffblackpeoplehate’.

Q. Are you a racist?

A. See this article

Q. Are you black?

A. My unofficial black blood quantum is somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2, depending on how much Indian ancestry is attributed to my mother (which has never been determined to any degree of certainty). So the short answer is, “yes.” For those who want the long answer, read on…

I had the experience of being raised simultaneously in both black and native american communities, so I am one of those relatively rare folks that are racially mixed both physically and culturally to a fairly equal degree. Because I don’t identify with being black more than native, or native more than black, I tend to hop freely between the two when offering my opinion on things.

This often confuses and angers people – especially when I suddenly take a black issue and offer a native perspective on it. It’s as if people want me to ‘choose sides’ based on the flawed assumption that the whole of my experience is a zero-sum game between my black experiences/perspectives vs. my native ones. This, of course, is all Viacom’s fault.

MTV’s ‘The Real World’ injected the collective young American sub-conscience with the idea that people can and should be classified only according to simple and easily digestible archetypes. Don’t get me wrong – these archetypes existed way before MTV. It’s just that MTV made it socially mandatory for us to apply them to people in everyday life. The best part is that we’re all guilty of doing it, but no one will ever admit it.

These archetypes include familiar ones like the Militant Black Man, the Gay Guy, the Bitchy White Girl, the White Frat Boy, the Break Dancing Asian, etc. There’s no place in the dialog, though, for the black/red man whose life experience is culturally dimorphic. Someone like this makes for bad television because it may take more than one episode for viewers to decide if they love him or hate him. Basically, he’s not polarizing enough in a society that demands emotional polarity. I’m not on ‘The Real World’ for the same reason there isn’t a blog called stuffwhitepeoplefeelneitherherenorthereabout.org.

So the bottom line is this: since this isn’t reality television, the people you encounter here (me, those who leave comments, Admiral Furious, etc.) are going to be as complex as the people you encounter in real life. Viewpoints are going to come from every corner of the universe, and they’re not necessarily going to fit any predefined notions about who people are or who they should be.

Deal with it.

Q. Are you single/available

A. For the moment, yes.

Q. Why don’t you put ads on this site? You could make money!

A. I think placing ads on this site would undermine its creative character, as was confirmed to me when, for a VERY brief time, SWPL.org had ads on its site (I believe they’ve since been removed, possibly as a result of landing a six-figure book deal).

There are more honest ways to pursue revenue from this site, as long as I’m not too lazy, which I most certainly am…so I pretty much don’t expect to see a dime from this site ever. And I’m OK with that.

Q. Do you date women who aren’t black?

A. Almost exclusively. Not because I don’t like black women, but because a.) black women tend not to be attracted to me and b.) most other races are. I love black women, but I’m not gonna break my balls just trying to get the time of day from a black girl when the hot indian girl across the room is asking ME for MY number.

I’ve received all kinds of explanations as to why black chicks don’t dig me: light skinned guys are out of fashion, I ‘talk too white’, I don’t come off as suave, I don’t have enough black friends, I smell like a paper mill, etc. Fortunately, though, I’m good enough for just about every other race of women…so I stopped caring.

It’s admittedly frustrating, though, to see my non-black dates being scowled at by black women who would never date me themselves. Oh well.

193 responses

24 03 2008
Machete

“It’s admittedly frustrating, though, to see my non-black dates being scowled at by black women who would never date me themselves. ”

I smell the next topic.

24 03 2008
Seven

Hmm…very interesting. I must say that I am intrigued with the fact that you grew up with an active awareness of the Native American culture. I was teased as a child for my “chinky or jappy” eyes; but I when I told people it was from the Native American in my family they sometimes asked did I grow up on a reservation. Anyway, I love the blog and look forward to reading more about you. Lastly, I can’t say that I blame you for not “sweating” the whole black women thing. There is no point in begging someone to
date you when they will never realize just how wonderful you really are.

24 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Machete: “I smell the next topic.”

Meh. It’s frustrating, not angering. In the end, I just feel sorry for them 😉

24 03 2008
Miss Cocoa Luv

Thanks for clairfying for those that needed it. And I would holla 🙂

24 03 2008
Anmarie

I think you’re beautiful and i’m a black woman, perhaps all the other black women are intimidated by your dashing good looks. 😀

24 03 2008
imaG

Loving the answer to the first question, not all black people like the stuff on my site – not every black person is the same. oh well, good shit – http://www.anythingblack.wordpress.com

24 03 2008
Mr. Smith

You know something, that had been my problem up until I met my current girlfriend of 3 1/2 years (who happens to be Philippine). Black women just were not interested in me, until I was with a woman of another race. Just as a test, I actually pursued one of these women who looked down on me when I dated outside my race. Got nowhere, she actually used the excuse that “oh I don’t trust light skinned black guys”.

Wow.

24 03 2008
Admiral Furious

You’re an asshole for not telling them you weren’t me sooner. Thanks dick!

24 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

YOU’RE WELCOME, COCK-MUSCLE!

24 03 2008
shabooty

why are black people scared to be ashy?
🙂

25 03 2008
Angry ver. 3.2 (Beta)

Shabooty…your lack of intelligence is infuriating.

25 03 2008
zeptool

Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m light-skinned, only about an 8th Native American, and usually non-black males are more interested in me.

25 03 2008
Anmarie

Angry ver. 3.2! Yaya we agree!

25 03 2008
Admiral Furious

(shaking head)…. Shabooty…. gat damn….

I’m an 8th Native… fairly dark skinned… and only black women aren’t scared of me.

25 03 2008
tap sum bong

ahahahahaufskjadshf;jsaf…

angry ver 3.2 – your opinion of shabooty, despite never meeting him, is nostradmic in propheticness.

25 03 2008
Angry ver. 3.2 (Beta)

tap sum bong…please read this and get back to us. However, Chris makes a valid point in stating that being light-skinned and “talking white” makes you adverse to black women. It wasn’t until recently that I was able to get lucky and find one just like me, even though she’s 1/2 white.

Unfortunately, you’ll continue to receive the “looks of scorn” as if you’re supposed to settle for busted-ass chicks instead of finding someone that actually pursues YOU.

25 03 2008
Iloveblackpeople

HA! As a “redbone” African American woman, I know from experience that most Black people who aren’t high yellow don’t trust people who ARE high yellow (even my own mother (who married my high yellow father) complained about being in a house full of yellow people). I think this is a part of the divide and conquer mentality that we still carry with us today. Fortunately for me, my father taught me to tell people of all colors and creeds to “kiss my yellow ass!” if they stepped out of line.

SBPH, I can’t believe you been to the Neck (I had the pleasure of growing up on the Rappahannock!). I totaled my first car on 301 in King George….someone rolled two of those BIG ASS bales of hay into the road and I tried to drive in between them (yes I was inebriated). Nonetheless, I made it home and woke up the next morning to discover that there was hay hanging from both sides of my car and only ONE door worked!

Nice blog, keep it up… I have a boring job!

25 03 2008
london

sbph honey….
my son is light skinned and at 15 he’s not trusted by his ‘girlfriends’ (very hard to type. he is my baby goddamit.. it’s all too soon) parents.. he doesn’t care.. he likes dark girls… and he is charming as hell…
my father is light skinned and he married a dark and lovely woman – my mother – and his whole family told him HELL NO! he persisted with his charming badass self and they are still together 43 year later..
nothing changes & it’s the same in england.. but at sometime you will get lucky…
great blog..
*dead* @ ”cock muscle”

25 03 2008
lisaturtle

Who are these dumbass black people who think you’re ugly/talk to white/don’t trust light skinned people? Wait, I forgot. I only have about 2 black female friends and they’re like me.

25 03 2008
Uhura

I went through a period of time where it seemed like I could not get a date w/ a decent Black man-but all other types of men were very into me.

I am married to a Black American; however, the guy I was going out with before him – I was dating for two years- he was White. My husband is quite dark and yes-I’ll admit….I would deliberately avoid light skinned men or men who were of mixed race. I felt that these men came with too many issues.

I reveal all this to say:

-Damn…I felt crappy typing that (deliberately avoiding mixed or light skinned men)

and

-I concur with the concept that you should go out with the people who want to go out with you.

25 03 2008
JustMe

Hey there. Just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog! You are honest (and hot) and I like that 🙂 It does blow my day a little that you end up dating mostly non-black women because MOST black women aren’t into you. I happen to fall into that group of black women who would totally dig you. I don’t know…maybe it’s because I “talk too white” myself and find the smell of paper mills to be super sexy (no, really I do). At any rate keep it up! This site is awesome!

25 03 2008
Inquisitive Black Girl

Why do you smell like a paper mill?

25 03 2008
Machete

Wierd. I always thought dark skinned ppl prefered lighter skinned? (Case in point, light skinned brides are preferable in India).
Well, you can always move to (sub-saharan, not south africa) Africa …you’d be prized there fow-sho’.

25 03 2008
Mr. Smith

Being a light skinned black guy, I’ve been seen as “sneaky, untrustworthy” or just seen as plain not as desirable to any black women (dark, black, brown, light skinned etc). They all gave this description or some version of it. This is my main reason why I dated outside my race. Not because I’m not attracted to black women, I guess I just wasn’t attractive enough to draw interest.

HOWEVER,
light skinned black women on the other hand get a little different treatment. The most famous african american female celebrities (whether they admit they are black or not) are light skinned, and it seems like any ad that I see that isn’t in black entrepreneur or King magazine, have light skinned black women with curly hair in their ads for phone companies or whatever which is why I laughed extra hard when I read Maddox’s article.

25 03 2008
Uhura

Question: What does a paper mill smell like?

Comment:

Apparently, Light skinned woman = desireable; light skinned man = undesireable.

Women are primarily valued for their physical beauty, and since the at large beauty standard in the US is Caucasoid – it makes sense that light = beautiful…The funny part is that men are valued for their earning power but dark skinned men earn less – all other things being equal.

Check this out:

“On average, being one shade lighter has about the same effect as having an additional year of education,”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/01/27/national/main2404501.shtml

Check THIS mess out:

“The findings in this study are, tragically, not too surprising,” said Harrison. “We found that a light-skinned black male can have only a bachelor’s degree and typical work experience and still be preferred over a dark-skinned black male with an MBA and past managerial positions, simply because expectations of the light-skinned black male are much higher, and he doesn’t appear as ‘menacing’ as the darker-skinned male applicant.”
http://www.multiculturaladvantage.net/diversity/2006/09/01/uga-study-reveals-darker-skinned-black-job-applicants-hit-more-obstacles/

25 03 2008
imaG

chris im fallin for you too, and im a dude? is that gay 😦

25 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Kinda.

25 03 2008
bluedoll

I get the “chinky eyes” thing a lot. Yes, I am part Native American. Any man that sounds educated is a plus in my book. I, also, have been accused of “talking white”. *rolling eyes*

25 03 2008
imaG

Nah homie chill I aint fallin for you hahaha! But yeah I was born in London raised over there, so people say uGH you talk white or wow, you’re so proper, thats why me and most black girls dont get together

26 03 2008
JB

I’m happily married with a kid, but for what its worth, me and my girlfriends all think you’re hot. And yes, we’re black. I tend not to scowl when I see black men with women of other races…as long as its not my husband, LOL!

27 03 2008
Cola

I love your blog. Um, light-skinned blacks are “sneaky”? I have never heard of that before. lol! Interesting. I am however used to the stupid comments of
“talking like a white person”. WTH is that about? So speaking properly is white? Give me a break!

27 03 2008
Mr. Smith

The whole light skinned thing goes back to Chris’ Beyonce article. I guess, for whatever reason, having lighter skin or lighter blonde hair is closer to being white therefore it is more acceptable.

27 03 2008
shabooty

oh, i just thought up another one…black people hate:
when you take your basketball to the b-ball court, and they’re using it, then you want to leave [preferably with your ball].
if you’re lucky, you will just leave with a verbal tongue lashing, and the ball chucked at you.

27 03 2008
Allyson

You should date people who are interested in dating you, whatever color they may be. I am a dark-skinned Guyanese, Cuban and Latino woman who in theory and practice is an equal-opportunity dater. Ultimately, I want to marry the man who loves me the way I want to e loved, no matter his color. Who are these black women that you are talking about? I am not going to discount your personal experience but give me a break. You are from DC and live in ATL, two places noted for deep-seated color politics. Come up to NY some time. Trust me, black women will like you and more importantly, any woman who respects intellect and humor will love you. I

27 03 2008
The Devil

Dude. You have to republish “the jackals den” original email string covering the 1,000+ things that are hated about white people. That was classic.

Also, you DEFINITELY need to do a post on hating-assed black women. For those of you who don’t know, I am one of this blog-author’s brothers. I dated almost exclusively black women (full and mixed) from age 5 to 25. Yes, 5 dammit…I got an early start. Since then, I’ve been able to date women from 6 continents, and about 19 different countries. It is AMAZING what the world outside of our schools, clubs, shopping malls, and immediate communities has to offer.

I’m in my 30’s now, and my woman is Korean. She gets gritted on constantly when we’re out. Oh well. They shoulda stepped up when I was single…

– The Devil

27 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Dude. You have to republish “the jackals den” original email string covering the 1,000+ things that are hated about white people. That was classic.”

I believe the grand total was 1,495. And amazingly, the list did not include Rick Roll.

28 03 2008
Anmarie

Oh gosh,

“black women tend not to be attracted to me” – Chris
“being light-skinned and “talking white” makes you adverse to black women” – – Angry ver 3.2
“They shoulda stepped up when I was single…” – Devil

Light skin black men are you all here saying the problem is that black women didn’t hit on you when you were single? Or are you saying that black women frequently turned down your advances? It’s a horse of a different color you know, a woman won’t step if she thinks you yourself wouldn’t be attracted. Typical black woman doesn’t look like a typical video girl(latina or super light girl with long hair) could be media messages bring her confidence down. Sure it’s not miscommunications leading to complications?

I just can’t picture a woman saying: “you go away now good looking and smart man because your skin is light”

I’m not sure what a paper mill smells like, never noticed the smell of paper. Is it anything like wood. Wood has a nice smell. Carpenters smell nice at Christmas time (like wood and pine oil, yum)

28 03 2008
Anmarie

You dang light skinned men I asked you like eight questions. We were sharing. . . Answer me! Answer me! Damn you………………Answer meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

28 03 2008
BecauseImMixed

I have to agree with you on that, Stuff Black People Hate. It’s a strange thing to have your an Irish grandmother and my skin color and have to explain that I wasnt adopted.

I get the whole thing with you and women because that happened to me a lot at your age. Hey if that Asian girl is peeping you and she’s letting you know it, go for yours…

Great Blog Bro…Salud

28 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I just can’t picture a woman saying: “you go away now good looking and smart man because your skin is light””

Unfortunately, most of the occasions I have to meet black women are in ‘meat market’ situations (e.g. clubs, bars, lounges). This happens for two reasons:

1.) Most people meet their girlfriends/wives through friends of friends. While I have a lot of black friends, I don’t have as many black friends as many other black people. This limits my access to black women who don’t have their shields up like they do in clubs. The few black women I have met through friends of friends are invariably already in relationships.

2.) I don’t have many ‘black’ hobbies. You don’t find a lot of black women doing what I like to do in my spare time – mountain biking, native dance, hiking/camping, mosaic art, etc. I’m an outdoorsy guy, but most of the black women I’ve meet tend to be indoor girls.

Now, back to the clubs. An interesting thing happens at meat markets: women who happen to be on their own tend to be fairly approachable. Unfortunately this rarely ever happens because black women, like most women, do EVERYTHING in packs.

Black women in groups can be incredibly mean-spirited. I hate to say it, but it’s sometimes like you all are having a contest to see who can crush a guy’s spirit the hardest. Me approaching a black woman surrounded by her friends proceeds thusly about 90% of the time:

1.) I make eye contact with the girl, she smiles

2.) I ignore what I know will happen next, and approach her (surrounded by her friends) anyway

3.) The friends give me the “who the fuck are you?” look

4.) The target girl seems to realize I’m getting this look from her friends. Her attitude shifts from being interested in me to being interested in impressing her friends by curb-stomping my advances. This all happens before even one word has been exchanged

5.) I introduce myself. One or more friends snickers about me being a ‘white boy’ or ‘high yella’. She says this loud enough for me to hear, but quietly enough for it to have plausibly been an accident. I laugh it off and introduce myself to the friends. They reluctantly introduce themselves back. I chat them up to disarm them. It never works with black women.

6.) After a couple minutes of inane smalltalk and enduring more snickers from her friends, I ask the girl if she’d like to talk somewhere else in the club 1 on 1 (away from the crows that surround her). She flatly says ‘no’. Her friends are ecstatic at her meanness.

7.) Admiral Furious taps me on the shoulder and points out the white girl that’s been eye-fucking me for the last 10 minutes. I go talk to her. Black girls are enraged. I could care less.

This isn’t to say that non-black girls in clubs and bars never cockblock each other, but they’re generally much less guarded and, even when they decide to reject you, they don’t usually feel the need to pile drive your soul into the earth.

28 03 2008
lisaturtle

On the club scenario… You gotta find the black girl who’s with only 1-2 white girls or with a mixed crowd! LoL… I’m kind of talking shit though. I only have 2 black female friends and one is my “big sister” because she’s like 10-11 years older than me and the other is my best friend but she goes to school in Alabama so… It’s kind of like I have NO black female friends. I say this to say, black girls do similar things to me in the club and I’m not trying to get at them. It’s like, they can’t stomach the fact that I with some white chick or a mixed crowd and my one friend that I always roll with has a STRONG preference for black men and this does not bother me and apparently it’s supposed to because she’s white. IDK… Black women tend not to like me so you and I are similar in that aspect. I’m glad black men don’t seem to mind me. 🙂

28 03 2008
Mr. Smith

@ Anmarie,

Example: “My husband is quite dark and yes-I’ll admit….I would deliberately avoid light skinned men or men who were of mixed race. I felt that these men came with too many issues.”
As quoted by, you guessed it, Uhura.

This is a prime example of the general attitude I have received, along with a PINPOINT example story as offered by Chris. I don’t get it, and to be honest, I really don’t care anymore. I know who I am, and back when I was single I was well worth your time and energy. None of them saw it that way, they just wanted to run their game then get mad when I gave an unspoken “fuck you” by talking to a female of a different race. Too bad, so sad… For them anyway.

28 03 2008
Admiral Furious

I vividly remember one evening several years ago a friend of mine (very attractive dark skinned woman) turning down a tall light skinned gentleman who had all of the women in the venue drooling. I asked her why it was that she did not give him her number or acknowledge any of his flirtatious advances and her response was more than shocking.

“He was too pretty.”

Huh?

I mean no disrespect, but can any of the ladies please explain that one?

28 03 2008
imaG

my nigga chris is a g. thats why YOU don’t pick up girls in the club. i have a girlfriend but yeah, besides do you really want to be with a girl you met at a club? fuck no.

28 03 2008
Iloveblackpeople

The pretty boy rejection is a popular one. Women want a man that is attractive but they don’t necessarily want the man that everyone else is drooling over. Mostly this is explained by insecurities and fear of having to “kill that nigga” when/if he cheats.

Unfortunately for the women who subscribe to this way of thinking…ugly men cheat too!!

I personally love a pretty ass dude. I just need him to be able to perform FOM (thanks for the term SBPH)!

28 03 2008
Machete

@Admiral

Hmmm I came up with two explanations for your friend not wanting to talk to that dude cos he was “too pretty” .
1. He really is too ‘pretty’ and frankly some women just prefer more masculine looking men.

2. When you are with a REALLY attractive guy, other women will stare slack-jawed and do quadruple-takes when passing you both by. They will then divert their attention to the female with him, and wonder what that heffer has/did to get this gourgeous man. They will slowly assess the female from the top to bottom …slowly… looking for imprefections and such. Also he will probably get more females throwing themselves at him than that potential date could take… and since she wouldnt always be there to claw other women’s eyes out for making a pass at her man, he was therefore deemed too much trouble. Some ppl just cant handle that.

28 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Some ppl just cant handle that.”

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28 03 2008
knaturalbeauty

to the Admiral…

AHAHAHA @ “He was too pretty”
My theory as to why Black American women do this is some twisted way to embrace blackness and equate blackness to masculinity. It’s just another form of colorism, like a reverse Brown Paper Bag Test – if that makes sense. Since for so long we deemed White as Right, Black women treat fair-skinned men like shit as some sort of get-back. I know, it’s screwy, but in some women’s minds it seems right.

Also, the “He was too pretty’ comment could be just that, not that deep. Maybe he was just too pretty. I know I’ve said that about all shades of mankind, not just the ones that resemble Prince. But if a man looks TOO well-groomed, TOO manicured, it’s a red-flag to some women.

And sorry for being long-winded but, to comment on the club scenario. I’m sorry that happens/has happened to you guys. I see it all of the time and feel bad, for guys in general who approach a group of Black girls in a club, let alone fair-skinned brothers. Girls will pass over good-looking, respectful, light-skinned men for the fugliest, rudest blue-black-purple motherfuckas in the club because he bought her a drink. And it is possible to meet and build something with a chick you meet at a club/bar/lounge. Women just need to get out of their own way, give “good” guys a chance, and keep in mind that you teach others how you yourself wish to be treated (sorry for preaching).

28 03 2008
Ms. Kennedy

On “Too pretty”

I blame black ass Wesley Snipes for that one. Poor Christopher Williams gets called a “pretty motherfucker” and light skinned dudes everywhere have been hearing that shit ever since. However, I’m from the midwest, and the notion of “pretty” isn’t necessarily correlated with “light skinned.” For example, I don’t think anyone would call the light skinned dudes from Bone Thus in Harmony (throw back!) “pretty.” But there are a lot of people out there still suffering from the light skinned backlash of the 1990s, and as a result, get passed over for the Malik Yoba’s and Morris Chestnut’s of the world because they seem more “black,” and therefore less “pretty.”

On Chris’ preference:
I used to really have an issue with interracial dating. I just about found it offensive. Then I got older and more bitter – angry even- and realized that I was only hurting myself for not expanding my search criteria. All around me were perfectly viable candidates – non black ones that enjoyed the company of my black ass regardless. Then one day, a short, light skinned, half-indian, white-talking engineer (coincidence) showed up at my doorstep (enticed by the promise of food) and it occurred to me that maybe Mr. Mandigo isn’t always where its at. . . I married that guy, by the way. . .
So continue to do what makes you comfortable and regular black girls like me will simply have to get over it.
With that being said, I still haven’t been able to make any non white friends, so if you’re interested in a nice white-talking black girl with a big booty, shot me a holler. I got hoes.

p.s. I may have said this before, but this is an awesome site.

28 03 2008
The Devil

OK. Here it is, or at least my version. I’m fairly masculine looking, but I have been called too pretty on more than one occasion. I’m not considered black by most anyone I meet, as I am less than 1/8th black, but also less than 1/8th white. That said, I don’t have any discernable black features. Luckily, I did get one of Big Charles’ key genetic gifts thank God. Reference point: Big Charles was one of the first slaves sold in the state of Maryland, and is an ancestor of mine and this blog’s host. But I digress…

I was raised in a mostly black neighborhood, and most of my friends growing up were black, so as it turned out, most of the women I dated growing up were black or of mixed race lineage. I was able to take advantage of the relatively brief yet joyous period when black women lusted after light and fair skin men with straight or wavy hair.

But there’s a downside to the story. In my experiences, a lot of women, especially black women, want to be able to have some level of control over their men. If a woman knows you will garner lots of attention and sexual opportunities elsewhere, they will always feel a bit insecure. Also, attractive women can be quite vain, and often need constant assurance that they are still attractive. This can be overshadowed when their man is equally, or possibly MORE attractive. Also, if you aren’t in legal trouble, don’t need money, and have OPTIONS, black women feel that they aren’t really needed in your life.

An ex of mine, who was a model, ruined a night out because she said a man should never look better than his woman, and proceeded to be in a funk the rest of the night, having the attention she craved from men and women alike diminished to I’m sure an infinitesimal degree.

Let’s face it; too many black women in the US have too many issues they need to deal with before they can have the rewarding relationships that are most certainly possible. Black women have been disenfranchised and abused, and are often their own worst enemies. Stop the self-loathing, the games, and the teenage/out of wedlock pregnancies. Stop blaming women of other races of “stealing your men.” It’s OK to leave behind a “no good” guy who cheats on you, has kids by other women, and gets locked up in exchange for a really good guy with a degree and a job who doesn’t have street cred.

I didn’t ever give up on black women, it’s just that my lovely other-half turned out not to be black.

– The Devil

28 03 2008
Strategy

I’ve been reading this blog for a week, and I must say, it does get me through some rough days at work. Thanks for the laughs…. I am a pretty cynical person, at least that’s what my last girlfriend says, but I would like to think I am more on the side of apathetic, which probably explains why I can tolerate some things on here that would disgust your average American. Again, I would like to say thanks and keep up the blogging. May I dare to say your next topic will be interracial dating? Certainly this would bring a hailstorm of fire and brim down on your website at the hands of black women, which may actually help you with your black woman woes because we all know that black women love assholes. Can’t wait to hear the responses……

28 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

For those who may be confused by the Devil’s statement:

“I am less than 1/8th black, but also less than 1/8th white”

and my statement:

“My unofficial black blood quantum is somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2, depending on how much Indian ancestry is attributed to my mother…”

The Devil and I are half-brothers, having different mothers.

28 03 2008
The Devil

Meaning our Father has two baby-mama situations. At least they were under successive and legitimate holy matrimonies on both counts…

Also, let me point out that, as I predicted, foretold, and prophesied years ago, black women’s key competitive advantage, namely The Booty, has been replicated by other races quite nicely thank you very much

I do love a nice Boo-Tay. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.

– The Devil

28 03 2008
Allyson

While you guys are crying over your lot in life, there are plenty of black women out here who don’t have these issues that feel slighted just the same. The studies actually show that the more educated a black woman is the more likely she is to end up unmarried and alone. I know far more women who are qualified, lovely, educated and without a shitload of baggage than men who are alone with the same attributes. In fact, most of the guys I know that have no steady woman in their life are in that position because they CHOOSE to be.
I love my male friends but they enjoy the fact that they pretty much run the tables in relationships. All of my female friends are attractive, range in different colors, have advanced degrees (lawyers, computer engineers, epidemiologists, doctors, etc.) and still single. Men come in their life and out because they can. If you start to have expectations and act like this is a relationship, they go running for the hills. I am not saying that they are all perfect but these women are articulate, caring, intellectual and attractive and still no long-term prospects.

For myself, my black male friends say that a man has to be serious if he wants to date me because I am the type you marry not have a good time with. That doesn’t seem very useful because if you don’t date me how in the hell do we get to marriage. Ultimately, I am not sitting and waiting for some black guy to finish sewing his oats and then be ready to settle down with me. Right now it feels like men of other races are the ones that respect me, my career and want to take the time to know me for who I am right now.
It goes both ways. Black women are alone and apparently, black men may be alone too. All I know is that the fabulous women I know drop men for reasons that are legitimate such as DL potential, uneducated, no job, been in jail before or pending incarceration, more than 1 to 2 children, liars, cheaters, terrible sex, abusive, and/or ignorant. Trust me, there aren’t that many eligible Black men around to eliminate them for something so arbitrary as levels of melanin.

28 03 2008
keta

*** DISCLAIMER-I curse plenty and I don’t use proper punctuation or spell words correctly when I type on blogs and what not, so be prepared for that… and if you “hate when people do that shit (EBP), THEN DON’T READ MY SHIT)***

Ok so I emailed Chris before I happened across this session to get answers to these very questions (and also asked him why he didn’t go to Howard…my EBP joke…)

anyway, i’m brand spankin new to SBPH and I saw a pic of chris and immediately i was like damn he cute and thats why i was so curious to find out why this funny ass, cute ass, entertaining ass cat wasnt snatched up…and now i see why

Im the girl in my crew that goes for his type. light everything, slightly dorky(no pun intended)personality for days, and quick on his feet(he can keep up with my rampant assholeness) and i also get dogged for it. All my girls come in an array of colors and mixes (majority black tho) and when ever we in a meat market(ha) or some other function, as soon as the pretty boy appears..they already know, most likely he’s my target. Their preferences are the darker skinned dudes or the brown ones, they wouldnt be caught dead w/ a light dude cause they attribute his color to a lack of edge.

Now i am an equal opportunity employer, i have no preference. I JUST LIKE SEXY.PLAIN OL WEBSTERS DICTIONARY ASS SEXY.He could be all the colors of the rainbow, if he sexy to me than he has a fighting chance. Its just that in all of my dating experiences, most of the time, the person that was sexy to me was a light brite and I always get knocked for it

Me and friends have had hours long debates about conditioning from the media and how my tendency to ‘lay light’ is because the media has beat this ‘light is right’ image in my head through television and the omission of darker skinned faces in mass media. hey this may be true, but they fail to acknowledge that my damn daddy is light and hell im caramel gotdammit, so why wouldn’t i be attracted to people who arms match mine when we side by side

furthermore (i type alot but i dont give a shit so) its real easy to see how chris and men in similar situations can become less inclined towards black girls when they always get rejected. But it goes both ways.When we are in the club(and what the fuck is wrong with meeting someone in a club, got damn where the hell do you go when you want to fuckin walk it out, the jazz spot?(i dont even care for jazz so there!)Ya’ll act like club people dwell in caves shrouded in darkness then the clock strikes night and then come out to feed or something.We just trying to dance and maybe laugh at a few people, its just something to do, shit!How bout using my method for all venues-if someone strikes your fancy or comes at you correct, give them a chance-that doesnt mean prejudge them and say they aint shit cause they IN THE SAME CLUB YO ASS IS IN but maybe give them that club convo(which i despise, you trying to get to know me while Ah skeet skeet skeet is blaring)or first phonecall/first meeting to see what they about THEN write em off after you are sure its not a fit(i digress)

I was saying that when we can tell that a black man is leaning towards the “other” girl we are more guarded and unresponsive because we feel like you DONT WANT US so therefore your hesitation and our hesitation transfers into you thinking WE DONT WANT YOU and the age old “failure to communicate” rears it ugly head. Just because X amount of black girls was cool on you don’t mean all black girls will and vice versa

So I dont know if my lil speech helped any of you guys but dammit it felt good to me to get it out so

any questions?

28 03 2008
Sue

@Keta,

Dang girl you just put it out there and I gotta say it. You sound skrait ghetto but you’re funny as hell and I sho ain’t mad at a fello alum! I feel you about the so called “light skinned preference”. I love all black men but tend to lean toward the lighter hue, not cause I dislike chocolate brothas but because the one I tend to click with happen to be light. And I think I have the same preferences as you so we betta not be in the same club cause we gon be fightin’!!!

@Chris and expecially Devil – Don’t hate on all black women simply because of the few idiots you had bad experiences with. I like this blog….its freakin hilarious but I’m kinda getting pissed cause I’m being tarred with the same brush. I am a black woman but I’m not jealous or mistrustful of light skinned men any more than any other man. It looks like this particular blog is turning into “Lets bash Black Women” and that’s not fair. I mean how many fatherless black children are out there? I’m mean Chris, you live in ATL, isn’t that where the male/female ratio is like 10 women for evey one man? Duh why wouldn’t there be trust issues??? True, both of you got treated real shabbily by some trifling black women for some real trifling reasons… so are you deciding that all of us are the same? It sure is sounding like that. Anyhoo Chris, I’m mad you’re profile is cute as hell and you’ve left DC. Damn, Damn, DAMN!!

28 03 2008
keta

Sue Darling,

While I do appreciate your affinity for my jokes and apparent wisdom, I certainly do not like being referred to as straight ghetto. Just like a true EBP, I sincerely despise this comment. I put the disclaimer up to give all future readers a heads up, that this passage would be written extra basic and peppered with typos and what not. I am not a super type-ologist (ha), and communicating my sentiments thoroughly and effectively would take too damn long, and would read so damn dry. Thus, I choose not to.

Hell, you liked it that way right? Exactly.

In the future, please pay attention and read the disclosures, cause next time my dear, you will see what else I can “straight” be.

Ta Ta Bitches…

HU!

28 03 2008
cbrent

Allyson,

Where the fuck were you and your friends when I was in college and single? [ laughing out loud ] First off, I am very happily married to a white woman who has given me two incredibly beautiful daughters, Peyton (5), and Afton(2 1/2). Plus she puts up with my bullocks.

…however, when I was in the “life”, I had very similar experiences. I was just fucked because I was always too white for black women because of the way I spoke (my mum is british) and well white girls fell into two categories:

1. I could only go out with them if I was on my way to get jumped into a gang after robbing a liquor store while drinking a forty, rollin’ a blunt, and getting my hair corn rolled. And if I didn’t call her bitch or hoe a least three times every 10 minutes I was out.

2. Or I had to out “country-club” the white guy she was already dating. Luckily my mum was a prominent attorney so I could afford it…for a while.

In college though things lightened up a little bit, but not much. At the University of Colorado in the late 80’s dating black women was pretty fucking hard. I blame Spike Lee, School Daze fucked every dark skin black dude like me in college for at least a decade.

Like the author of this blog I was really never into what black women considered “black”, so I struggled to date black women like my mum always wanted. I’ve always thought black women are beautiful though.

I’m 37 have two degrees and I am currently working on a third. I had two degrees when I was in the “life”, and was told I was fairly attractive, but still couldn’t get a sista to give me a go. I did what any self respecting black man would do…I started dating other races.

Why are black women so hard on black men, and then talk shit when we jump race? I would have loved to have dated someone like Allyson (professional, career-oriented, educated, sane, no-babies daddies, takes care of her self i.e. doesn’t wear fucking house shoes to the grocery store while hair is nappy).

28 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Sue,

That’s isn’t me on the title image of the site, that’s one of my loyal and favorite fans. Pictures of my funny looking self can be found on the ‘Europe’, ‘Grocery Shopping’, and ‘Author’ pages. I am still a DC resident, where sometimes it feels like the male/female ratio is 400,000/1.

I hope I personally haven’t come off as bashing black women – that wasn’t my intent. People asked me to explain why I’ve dated an overwhelming majority of non-black women, and this is the unfiltered and unfortunate truth. The situations I’ve mentioned above are not exaggerated. They’re real, and represent the real difficulties I’ve had approaching black women, but I certainly don’t assume that all black women behave this way especially since I’ve dated them.

The problem is that enough black women have behaved this way toward me for it to affect my judgment. Based on what’s happened in the past, I tend not to approach black women (when there’s a group of them) when I have other options that are statistically more friendly.

So to end on a positive note, I’ll offer this advice to all my black women out there: if you see that guy in the room that you like and you ‘make eyes’ with him, get away from your friends for a minute and make yourself approachable.

29 03 2008
keta

So while we are swimming in club misconceptions, can someone please answer me this…

Why don’t men holler any more?

While I am in the ‘field’ I have noticed a few things. There will be these guys that give me all this eye contact (every time I look up he got me in his peripheral), they just so happen to be everywhere I am (I’m at the bar, he at the bar, I gotta pee, he gotta pee) or they are trying their best to inadvertently get my attention (dancing all chris brownish in front of me, being extra animated or ultra suave with his every move) and then some even have the gall to grab my damn arm when I walk by or say something random/witty to get my attention.

And then there are those men that do come up to you and engage you in conversation and then keep it moving.

So with that being said, I am a firm believer in the “he’s not that into you” mentality. Im like hey if he really wanted me then he would have hollered and leave it at that. But this is always a recurring topic amongst the gals because we just don’t get it…

Why do ya’ll act all extra interested with your actions but fail to ask for the number?

Do tell…

***And no I’m not a monster, I’m actually damn cute…and I’ll prolly be the first black angry chick up in this piece by manana 😉

29 03 2008
Cause Problems

I be lovin this site cause errbody talks SHIT!

29 03 2008
iloveblackpeople

@ keta

That is SO true. I blame it on these new age women who, for example, will actually ask a guy to buy them a drink versus waiting for one to be offered. It is not expected for a woman to play coy anymore. Women have become the aggressors! I am new to the Northeast (by way of VA) and see it ALL the time. It’s like they so man hungry that they lose their minds. What this adds up to in my mind is lazy black men who feel they don’t need to holla at you cuz you should’ve holla’d at them!

29 03 2008
Anmarie

Oh word i didn’t know i was supposed to holla now. Thanks for the heads up. I thought being the aggressor is a FOM. Dang these new age girly men whatever happended to clubbing a woman and dragging her to the cave.

29 03 2008
Anmarie

Hey wow, I love where one questions goes, Still no one has told me what a paper mill smells like.

I asked about the dating situation hoping to find further understanding maybe something that’s not so depressing, I’ve heard all this before from black men of all colors and I hear similar complaints from black women about their male counter parts. Damn we really have some issues with one another. Here’s the thing, men and women are saying the same thing and not listening to each other and then there’s all the blame.

1. All people are fucked up not just blk women or men for that matter; it starts with our parents, or maybe original sin. Finding someone with who’s willing to make a commitment if that is in fact you want is going to be difficult regardless.
2. Black people are fucked that much more with the legacy of slavery, hate, racism passed down like genes. In terms of our sexuality we deal with fighting against and internalizing this type of thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_hottentot and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ManDingo_%28porn_star%29 Somehow we’ve been convinced it’s all about cock and ass.
3. Thought to distrust each other because of skin color, hair, gender, class, etc. Tutsis are better than Hutus, anyway.

Whatever I’m gonna bottom line this thing from my perspective:

Women are mostly turned on by the Tactile; Men are mostly turned on by the Visual.

Women see a big ole thug looking dude assume he can throw down in bed, and he looks big and strong and black so oohwee manly (you’ve been hoodwinked), even if he doesn’t have a future to speak of, or a plan to take care of his family, women will attempt to make a dollar of 50 Cent (ha get it!). Pass up the “nerdy”/ “different”/ “light skin” dude and wonder why they just get played again.

Men see a huge booty in something skin tight and long weave get turned on because Viacom has convinced you this is what’s hot, walk past the “nerdy”/ “different”/ “dark skin”/ “natural hair”/ “short hair” lady and step up to get surprised that she too is all about the superficial, worried about what everyone else will think or to willing to write you off based on some foolish ideal, when basically you’re doing the same thing.

Most people don’t really have to be alone; most good looking women have some sweet dorky dude checking for her and most good looking men can pull wonderful and pretty women though she might not have the longest hair or she may have a bit of a belly. Let’s be real and grown up folks very few people in the world are a total packages of everything we want. But whatever, we all have our preferences. And date who you want obviously, but it seems:
When we start dating outside our race it’s all about who’s willing to love me for me, awwwe. But when we’re dealing with each other it’s all about who’s got the best cock and ass and if we’re Educated Black People, who’s got the best cock and ass with a degree. I don’t know why we have to be so hard on each other perhaps it’s the “post traumatic slave syndrome”.

29 03 2008
Cola

A paper mill smells like hot shyt.. That’s the only way I can explain it. If you ever drive from ATL down 75 south and pass through Macon , you may have the unfortunate experience of smelling a paper mill. That’s the only place I have been and had that disgusting experience.

Regarding the dating scene. When the hell did it get so fucking complex?! light vs dark..white vs black? And the nicca’s ain’t buying drinks anymore?! WTF?! I am glad I got out when I did. I just can’t see myself being aggressive enough to approach a dude and then buy him a drink?!

29 03 2008
Uhura

Mr. Smith-my words are most certainly NOT a prime example of the attitude that you encounter.

My statement was that when I was dating, I tended to avoid light skinned Black men and men of mixed race because they often came with too many issues. You somehow skipped over the part where I stated that I was an active participant in interracial dating.

Mr. Smith, my preference had nada to do with colorism or being frightened of going out with a good looking man …which are actually the issues and the attitude that you are encountering. My preference was akin to screeening out men who had children out of wedlock, men that had been previously married, or men that came from anything other than two parent homes (all of which I did as well.)

These are legitimate screening criteria.

29 03 2008
thebusinesswoman

This is keta here… I changed my name the business woman just because…

Anyway, whats up with the two parent home thing? That’s way out of line. I know many of losers who got it from they in house mentor. Two parents don’t mean better honey…

30 03 2008
Mr. Smith

Oh no no Uhura, allow me to apologize.

It just so happens, in my lifetime, your words were a picture perfect example of my experiences. No offense to you, but in all that I have experience, this just hit the nail on the head. My last sentence was improper 😦

I did miss the part where by “came with too many issues” I did not assume you meant the ones that you meant had children out of wedlock men that had been previously married, or men that came from anything other than two parent homes. *This last one I find is a little bit unfair and I’m a bit biased towards because it’s not like they had control over than. Coincidentally, I have never dated a girl who had two parents, and both of my parents who have been in their loving relationship for over 27 years both came from a broken home*

My “Why Black Women of Any Melanin Didn’t Like Me” list is as follows:

1. I talk “too white”
2. Untrustworthy (BECAUSE I’m light, not any previous interaction with this person or anything they have observed I have done. I have yet to understand this until this day)
3. Light skinned guys are sneaky (refer to #2 explanation)
4. Too pretty
5. “You date (insert non- black race) girls” (obviously because you wouldn’t!)

It was a frustrating experience that I took offense to because I used to watch BET and listen to 95.5 in DC and tried my best to live up to their standard (or down now that I see it from way up here). Eventually, I learned to accept myself and I settled down with a girl who loved me for who I am. And for that, I couldn’t be happier 🙂

30 03 2008
Mr. Smith

By my last sentence was improper I meant this one:
“As quoted by, you guessed it, Uhura”

My apologies fam.

31 03 2008
cbrent

Anmarie,

a papermill smells like shit I’m pretty sure [laughing].

31 03 2008
Uhura

thebusinesswoman-

At the time, I believed: males from stable, two-parent homes are better equipped to act as husbands and fathers than males who were raised in other types of homes. At that that time, I also believed: such men are uaually much more interested in marriage and family than men who were raised in other types of homes.

I realize that many people will disagree with and even be insulted by what I just said, but they would be dead wrong and in deep denial.

I also realize that many people will state that the screening criteria I mentioned are unfair. That statement is ASSININE because there is no such thing as fair screening criteria when it comes to dating, mating, and marriage.

Every grown up knows this.

Now-before mofos come into my face with tales of folks they know from broken homes who turned out to be good husbands / wives / fathers / mothers-allow me to say this: STFU.

Your tales about exceptions to the rule do not disprove the rule: A child’s parenting / familial situation forms the basis / template for their adult relationships.

Now…make no mistake…People can and do choose paths different from their upbringing, but MOST people simply DON’T.

Mr. Smith:

As far as your list goes-none of the items listed have anything to do with why I avoided mixed race men or black men who were light skinned. I am thinking you comprehend that at this point. The truth is: Black folks have color issues. If you were dark, you’d have a different set of women rejecting you. What we have here is a case of The World “as it should be” versus how it “is”.

For example – I realized a long time ago that if I had green eyes and long, straight, silky hair-my life would have been way wa-a-ay different. Just like if I were a blond with the last name of Kennedy or Rockefeller or Trump-my life would be wa-a-ay different. WHY harp and lament on that shit? I chose to play the hand life dealt me-after all…What else can you really do????

By the way-don’t feel bad…I was (and am) a personal victim of the “yew tawlk too White” thing.

31 03 2008
Sue

@Thebusinesswoman (keta)

I apologize for ghetto comment. I actually meant no disrespect but was just reacting as I would to my girls(“girl you so ghetto!”). However, since you don’t know me like that it was an improper comment to make so again, I apologize.

@Chris

Nah you didn’t come off as a basher but others were. I mean the comments were getting nasty and I was thinking “Damn! bitter much?”

Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really shoulda gone to HU. There are so many people there that look exactly like you its not funny. God it was like being in a candy store….so many fine brothas! Light, chocolate, caramel, honey ooooooh! I just got goosebumps reminiscing! Anyhoo, this is the first I’m hearing about “light skinned men being sneaky”. WTF??? Most of us have family members in just about every hue you could think of so this just seems stupid to me. Dude you grew up in DC though and based on my experiences there and my experiences now in Baltimore….man you grew up dealing with some real ignorant people. Its a shame that that ignorance is what shaped your perception of black women.

1 04 2008
Sister Toldja

This is very interesting. I don’t even know how to jump in, but I’ll just add my personal observations:

-I’m a light complextioned female with curly/wavy hair. I have noticed that most of the men who seem to be attracted to me are medium brown to dark complextioned. White men have only recently discovered me, though I am not at all interested in going there.

-I like brothers of all complextions, but I am now realizing that I do have somewhat of a….subconcious leaning towards tall light-skinned guys. I think it’s because I have a tall light-skinned daddy who I have made the prototype for my ideal mate.

-I have never heard that light-skinned men are sneaky or distrustful. HOWEVER, I am guility of writing brothers off (of all complextions) who “look like they don’t like Black girls”.

-I frown on interracial dating, especially Black men and non-Black women. I try to be open minded, but I just don’t think it’s right. It’s too many good, fine sisters out here that are single for our brothers to leave us high and dry.

-I think this convo ended yesterday, so I am probably just talking to myself now.

-Yeah, that seems to be the case.

-Agreed.

2 04 2008
Anmarie

‘I frown on interracial dating, especially Black men and non-Black women. I try to be open minded, but I just don’t think it’s right. It’s too many good, fine sisters out here that are single for our brothers to leave us high and dry.”

i hear you, although people should be free to date whomever, I hate the bitterness i hear from black people towards the opposite sex of the same race. I think to many black men have closed off themselves to us based on childhood or early experiences with the opposite sex. But I’m sure that most white men have bad experiences with women but they don’t turn it into a white women this and white women that situation. It seems we black folks get bitter with the opposite sex very easily and we don’t stop to think that it might be because history and society has taught us to be bitter with ourselves.

From my experience all to often I’ve had black men compliment my “good hair”, especially when I wore it long an straight. And just love the fact that i “talk white” whatever that means. i find it crazy that people don’t stop to think about why they like what they like in this racist culture.

2 04 2008
Uhura

Says the racist….

2 04 2008
Sister Toldja

I see what you mean anmarie, about the generalizations. But that’s because Black people, or at least some of us, have a spoken (or supposed) solidarity. The expectations tend to be different from one another, because we see each other as aalikes or brothers and sisters. When a Black man hurts me, it stings a little more because I still see him as my brother. I also feel that most men, especially Black men, have a deep seated hatred of women (especially Black women). So when I see a brother with a woman of another race, I can’t help but to feel that it is an outward rejection of the sisters and worse, his mother. Working on it, but I dunno….

3 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

This topic is interesting.
I’ve also personally shied away from men who seem like they don’t date/prefer Black women. Black men of all complexions men who date interracially give of a certain vibe, can’t explain it – maybe it’s the so-called “talking white” thing. And, I do sometimes feel slightly slighted as a Black woman when I see interracial couples, but then I think, being Black isn’t my entire identity and if that Black man is dating that White, Korean, or Latino woman, why should I care. But if you do care, is that racist?
My dad, who is Black, is now married to a White woman (whom I love to death). He’s always prefered fair-skinned or White women because, according to him, brown-skinned girls and their parents didn’t want even darker children. Black women have all these hang-ups, and criteria, and bullshit about color and class, and blah blah blah, and they wonder why Black men don’t have time for us. I’m not blaming Black women, I’m just saying it’s a factor.

3 04 2008
Machete

I have been an avid partaker of the abundant buffet of diverse men that society has put within my reach. So far, most of the spotlight has been on Black men dating women of other races. Care to share your feelings on black women dating other races? I am very curious about the general outlook on this from this forum in particular.

3 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Well I kind of have to go with Machete’s outlook. If you have feelings for that person, then by all means you should date them. It’s what’s on the inside, they’re personality that counts. Thats the way it SHOULD be of course.

Black men aren’t the only ones who do that. Hell, black WOMEN aren’t the only others to blame. I have latino friends who tell me it’s a slap in their face to their family to date outside their race*.

We all have our hang ups, our problems, deep seeded dislike/feelings/contempt/spite/even hatred towards particular issues like this. I personally have no problem with dating outside your race because if I did, my social-love life beginning in 7th grade would make me a huge hypocrite.

*Coincidentally, although my friend is El Salvadorian, her family did not mind men from Puerto Rico, Mexico, Cuba, or Venezuela. Even funnier, her family, all except her older brother, openly expressed their acceptance of her dating me for that short period.

3 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Hmm you make a good point. I am black and a 1/4 puerto rican. I love my black men light or dark. And I never understood why black women put black men in the category of light and dark its fucking dumb. “lightskinned is out of style dark is in” What The Fuck IS That Bullshit! Black is black

3 04 2008
Sister Toldja

I just personally have no interest in men of other races. I have occasionally been attracted to Puerto Ricans, Cubans and Dominicans, but those are brothers anyway. As much as I hate the brothers, I love them even more. As much as I love them, I LUST for them more than that! Black men are just too freaking sexy for me to look anywhere else. There are just levels on which I connect to brothers and I need that connection to REALLY be with a man.

I am working through my issues with interracial dating, or at least trying to. My late grandmother was White and I saw the negative side of those unions on a lot of levels. My big problem is when people fetishize members of other races and/or look down upon the members of their own. It’s one thing to be equal opportunity, but it is another to say “I find White women more appealing”, “I need me a bad Spanish broad” or “I cant stand Black men anymore!”.

3 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Cola: “And the nicca’s ain’t buying drinks anymore?! WTF?!”

I’ll buy a woman a drink if I’ve been talking to her for a good 20 minutes and her attitude, sense of humor, and intellectual curiosity impress me. Beyond that, there are way too many women out there just trying to blow their heads up by seeing how many idiots’ll buy them a drink. These are in the same class of guys who go to clubs trying to see how many numbers they can get. It’s fucking disgusting.

@iloveblackpeople: “That is SO true. I blame it on these new age women who, for example, will actually ask a guy to buy them a drink versus waiting for one to be offered.”

I react very strongly and very negatively to women who ask me to buy them a drink. Not because it somehow threatens my manhood, but because I think she’s just out to get free shit. Do NOT do this. Ever.

@Machete: “Care to share your feelings on black women dating other races?”

I personally don’t care. Sure I’ll give black women shit for doing it, but I give everyone shit for everything. It’s all in good fun.

3 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

dammit if i ever see u at the club Chris i’ll buy you a drink 🙂

3 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

man I want to be a writer on your page! I got a lot of shit to complain about hahah

3 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

@Chris

How you goin give a black girl shit for dating another race? Whee Doggy (cowboy style)! Let’s not get that argument going!

Moreover, I absolutely LOVE other races. From the inception of my dating career (yes, career ) I have always just went for what felt right. Meaning, if Jose or Hector to the left are giving me that tingly feeling in them thar hills, or if Chad or Brad to the right, wanna talk about snowboarding, then fuckin ‘A’ dude! I’m game.

One of my favorite dating experiences was with this white dude (yes we still talk…and yes, I would still hit that). He was so god damn sexy and smart it didn’t make no fucking sense! I wanted to go back in time, and jump out the closet on his mom and dad, why they were making him, and push down on his dads’ buttcheeks and make him fuck her harder! Just to get his fine ass son out, quicker! Man, he was so damn cool. And the main reason why I dug him was because he was a real white dude. He didn’t try to act black…he just did him. And uruma um, if you can’t tell, I’m pretty darn Holly-Hood (ask about me) and the fact that me and him were so different, made for a pretty explosive union. We were eachother’s first (clearing my throat) “other” and he was also the first guy to ever make reservations at a restaurant.

DID YOU READ ME?? He made reservations at a nice restaurant for our first date, to impress me. On his stankin ass UCLA undergrad budget, he attempted to treat me like a fucking lady! Now I don’t know about ya’ll but NO RACE HAD EVER DID THAT up until that point. Call me simple, or easy to please, but with the usual suspects, if we didn’t get lucky and just walk into a spot, we were usually stuck waiting in the lobby or worst-case scenario, holding a damn little plastic box that lights up when your stupid ass table, just got wiped off at Olive Garden. This was like two years ago and I have since stepped my ‘Get with Me” standards way the fuck up. Half stepping ass men is the reason why I am so diligent and picky now about who I let bask in my fucking presence. Cocky? Maybe. Confident? But of course. Content? You better believe it. Anyway, I digressed…like usual, back to the story.

My point (I Think) was that I am an official non-black men/black men dater and I love it, I fucking love it.

Hmmm, what else I got since I’m big chilling (self-employed holla!) right now, and I still want to run my mouth???

Oh yeah, more on this topic…

I am 1 of 5 children and I have an older brother and a younger brother. Both of which have children from chicks of other races. Younger bro’s baby mama is a mexican chick (not suprised, pregnancy is their “thang” no offense ..sort of) and my older brother, his baby mama is a huge fat white chick who is not cute at all but she (and her family) pay like they weigh. Now don’t get me wrong, I have some utterly gorgeous nieces and nephews (and I love walking around the mall with them and looking at peoples confused faces) but my big problem is this. WHY CANT YA’LL FIND A DECENT GIRL FROM ANOTHER RACE? Its some bomb ass looking white/asian/hispanic chicks, but when I see you so called “black girl rejects” out with your pick, she be lame as hell! Either she overweight ,undercute, or extrastupid, or (wait for it…) all of thee above…EEK! I be like damn, I for sure don’t want to be the next chick after her! People, people! Hear ye, hear ye! You must date equal, or up, but never down. Come on now, this is America. Step your date game up

So I say (and I say alot) that if you must date the “others” then please, good sir, do it with precision.

Ta Ta Bitches

4 04 2008
ninasimone

“It’s admittedly frustrating, though, to see my non-black dates being scowled at by black women who would never date me themselves. Oh well.”

this is a complete waste of energy to do this..i understand the feeling of rejection that may evoke this reaction but its still ridiculous and waste of a scowl……and .lol if I see out with your non-white gf or whoever it aint her that I would be ogling;-)

4 04 2008
Anmarie

Chris where’s Admiral F? I haven’t seen him in a while

5 04 2008
anjiebaby

@thebusinesswoman:

“overweight, undercute, or extrastupid” —- funniest shit ever

I concur. Folks, “date out” with precision. LMAO

6 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

date out-i like that

6 04 2008
Cola

@thebusinesswoman

I agree. I thought it was just me. Everytime I see a brother with a white women she is huge! WTH is that about? You just so happened to fall in love with a big fat white woman? Unless of course the brother is an athlete or making some serious money does the white girl look decent. What’s up with that? Why are you passing over your own for this jabba the hut female? Explanation please!

6 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

Well my older brother always had an affinity towards woman of all races that were overweight because basically he was on his lazy tip. He could treat em’ like shit and not work and they would pay for everything. His car, his rent, his clothes, everything. I believe he was preying on the undesirables because he knew that they would be more inclined to cater to him, since they did not have the luxury of just bouncing and finding a new man. Breaking news, Im not exactly sure… but I think… fat ugly bitches are not the pick of the litter (gasp!)

Say it aint so!

Chicks with bargaining chips, usually don’t get treated that way, and if a man tries them he is either a) lucky that he found a bomb bitch with self esteem issues or b) by his damn self, cause a chick like me will leave yo ass quick as hell cause I know that eventually I will be loved again by some other dude and if I dont, in the mean time, Im still the shit cause Im in love with me (no homo)

So the moral to the story is, work on enjoying your own company (and appearance) before you care what the next man thinks

TA TA

6 04 2008
Quirky Cutie

As a black female who dates interracially (and intraracially), I find it to be a cop-out when a black guy says he can’t “find” a decent black girl to date. Come on, the majority of black college grads (and professionals) are female. Date who you want, but don’t say it’s for lack of opportunity. Especially since it’s the guy who has to make the moves in the beginning of a relationship. If anything, black women have more reason to use that excuse.

I admit when I was younger – HS-aged – I used to get upset (never obviously) when seeing a black guy with a white (or other non-black) female. Then I realized a few things:

1. Anything that pisses off racists is fine by me (the enemy of my enemy is my friend).

2. The women weren’t even in the same league as myself (I don’t wanna come off too cocky, but I know my value).

3. Black don’t crack. When I’m 40, 45, 50+, I’m still going to look like I’m in my late 20’s/ early 30’s (no exaggeration, heard it from my mother’s dermatologist). His woman will look like his mama.

Lastly, as a couple people mentioned here, if you’re going to go white (or whatever), then do it right. When I see black guys with white women, usually the guy is attractive and the girl is more like Rosie O’Donnell, not Heidi Klum. I date whites too, but I’m not going after some Eminem wanna-be flipping fries over an educated black guy that has his shit together.

By the way, I absolutley love this blog and will spread the love.

7 04 2008
ninasimone

IA with Quirky Cutie in that it often seems like a cop-out..it usually is in my experience ( I was only the second black woman the guy I dated last had ever dated)…when I read your rationale I was thinking to myself how much effort did you put in? I dont think anyone should fall over themselves to impress anyone or to get and keep a woman’s attn simply because she shares your “race”. I dont know you (plus I think you’re hilarious and HOT) so I cant say for sure its BS…but it does have the air of it lol…..not that it lessens the allure by much lol

7 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Amen QC and nina! I was definitely the chick in HS who would get visibly shaken and upset when I saw a brother with a non-Black, especially if he looked like he had his shit together. Even in college, I had a few incidents (usually fueled by alcohol) where I hissed “What would your mother say?” at some unsuspecting Black man on a date with some woman of another race. Thank God I went to Howard, because I would have had a nervous breakdown if I were in a school where that was the norm.

Growing up in Hyde Park, Chicago, I felt like I saw way more brothers making that choice (and damn near every Asian woman I saw was with a non-Asian man). Living in Brooklyn, I see more balance, so the sting has lessened a bit. There are definitely the moments when I see a seemingly EBM with a dumpy, frumpy White broad or some chick who has dressed herself like a Black girl impostor and my pressure raises. I am really trying y’all. I just don’t understand how could someone not want to be with a Black woman? We are hella fine! Educated, creative, sexy*…..why go from first class to coach?

*-Ok, there are some idiot Black chicks out there, but they don’t negate the existance of all the fly honeys in our ranks.

7 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

I just knew we was related Sista T

HU in this bitch!

7 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Yesssir! What years were you there? Have you checked out Bisonroundup.com yet?

7 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

I came out in 05′ and I haven’t checked it out. Lemme leave ya’ll for a min and take a looksey

7 04 2008
Jane

You are sickening
Why do I come back for more
Benevolent King

7 04 2008
thebusinesswoman

who the hell is this Jane chick?

8 04 2008
ninasimone

another Howardite checking in!!!

8 04 2008
jane

@ thebusinesswoman: I’m just Jane, your sista

17 04 2008
Shareefa Lateefah Jackson

Q. Are you single/available

A. For the moment, yes.

————————-

I’ve kept quite and everything else from your fake pictures to your plagiarized posts (from the journal you stole from me) but I cannot keep quite on this bold faced lie.

How can you declare yourself single when our divorce is not final yet? How can you do this to me and our children?

I am shocked.

17 04 2008
Shareefa Lateefah Jackson

Shit, the first line contains error and I’m too pissed to change it.

23 04 2008
DC Buppie

Make yourself approachable??? WOW Im speechless… I want to investigate this further….

23 04 2008
Chloe

IS THERE A FACEBOOK GROUP FOR THIS SITE? THERE SHOULD BE——HINT HINT CHRIS

23 04 2008
Sylph

With all the influx of new readers, you might want to start a group on there Chris. No stalking, but at least it would give us a few threads to go off topic since we have a tendency to do that in the blog posts themselves.

Then you get to see what we all look like….or at least try to.

24 04 2008
pen

well, after reading all of that, don’t i feel enlightened?

pun intended?

just playing. this faq explained a lot though. i think i said this somewhere else on this blog: thank god i’m married.

26 04 2008
Muse

I’m coming in on the tail end of the discussion but I’m truly saddened by some of the responses from both men and women on this blog. We are living in freaking 2008 and the so called EBPs are still struggling with colorism? We all know by now that the media is full of bull yet so many of us have managed to be brainwashed. Go figure. I’m probably going to sound like an insensitive jerk but I’m going to need some of my Black folks to call a therapist ASAP and work those issues out.

Before anyone jumps on my case, I am a black woman with chocolate/dark skin. On top of that I live in Los Angeles which is probably the superficial capital of the world and interracial dating is quite popular out here. I’m not bothered by people dating outside of their race as long as they are not using it as an excuse to bash another group of people. For example if a Black man wants to date a White woman then so be it but he doesn’t have to disrespect Black women in the process to do so. People should be allowed to date who they want without the world criticizing their decision.

With that being said, I never grew up having issues with light skin blacks or dark skin blacks because at the end of the day we are all BLACK PEOPLE. I also never felt that my dating options were limited as a result of not fitting the archetype of being light skin. Neither white women nor women of other races have ever been a threat to my personal dating pool. Everyone has a special quality that makes them unique, therefore it is a waste of my time and mental energy to compare myself to other women. Besides why would I want to date a man who doesn’t desire me when there are 10 others who would love to be with me? The same goes for other Black women. Why trip over a guy who doesn’t want you?

Confidence and a true understanding of one’s value is the key to getting a quality mate. I’m only 25 but I’ve managed to figure that one out early. I don’t buy the statistic that many well rounded educated black women aren’t finding mates. Every Black woman I now who is on point physically, mentally, and spiritual has an awesome husband/partner. If they are single it is by choice not because they lack options. Those EPB women who are struggling to find a mate are perpetuating fraud in my opinion because there is always a reason behind the undesired singleness. No one ever wants to take a look at themselves and address their own issues. I don’t buy the lack of eligible Black men as an excuse. However I do believe that there are some black women with “daddy” or psych issues and are taking out the anger on potential partners.

Having a bunch of advance degrees and being financially stable doesn’t mean you will make a great wife or life partner. The qualities that make a woman a great wife/partner is more about the person’s spirit, personality, integrity, and the ability to be reasonable (i.e. the ability to compromise and not living in a delusional fantasy world) which unfortunately a lot of woman of ALL races are lacking these days. I blame feminism but that’s another topic all together.

26 04 2008
frankserpico

All posts by “the businessowman” are the reason I hope L.A. sinks into the fucking ocean in the next big earthquake.

Southern California = moron capital of the known universe

27 04 2008
london

and while we all are sitting her talking about dating in or out.. the pot of decent people of all races gets smaller… as we get older the more chance you will meet someone who has been married before, has kids or just plain has issues from previous relationships… in other words, a whole set of different shit will arise for you to gripe about… you can’t throw shade at a genuinely happy couple who happen to be of different races.. it is your choice who you date.. just choose wisely.. it’s not easy but it can be done…

maybe chris can start a dating service through this blog…
hmmm chris..?

2 05 2008
Nice

The only man I will date on this blog is Chris- he is fire.

6 05 2008
missF

Haha, it seems funny to me that black women don’t prefer pretty dudes. In india, its so different, indian women love pretty boys

7 05 2008
shabooty

if u bang a chick wearing a lamb skin rubber in the ass it smells like a gyro

8 05 2008
MayDarling

Jesus H. Christ, shabooty. I feel like my IQ dropped about 10 points reading your comment.

And so, the debate rages on. Having dated in and out of my race, I will say one thing: the “others” tend to treat you better.

Black people. Really. WHY ARE WE SO SHITTY TO ONE ANOTHER?

11 05 2008
Jen_8

Its usually stern arguements like these that make me realise that perhaps, I would be better off white or asian than a black woman.

just perhaps

11 05 2008
Shine

Here’s a question for everyone, why are black people always the ones complaining about black people. I swear I have never heard any other race jump up and say stuff like, “damn Asians need to get it together” or “Why are Latinos always so crazy to one another. My people, my people” I feel as black people we have been conditioned to think of ourselves as a whole AND to compare ourselves to others all the time. Introspection and evaluation are good but I feel it just leads to negativity and self-hatred a lot. See Ebony magazine and their continuing coverage of why black men don’t like black women.

11 05 2008
MayDarling

Jen_8,

That’s a thought we all have had.

11 05 2008
Muse

For guys like Jen_8, go date White and Asian women if that is your preference. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t/won’t date Black women. If you wanted to date a Black woman then you wouldn’t need to second guess yourself or make excuses.

11 05 2008
Jen_8

MayDarling, Thanx. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Muse,

I think you mis-read my comment. no further comment really. thats just it.

11 05 2008
Sister Toldja

I think Jen was saying posts like this make HER realise that she would be better of if she WERE a White or Asian woman….right?

11 05 2008
Muse

Jen, please accept my apologies for misunderstanding your comment. My excuse was that it was late and I had a few glasses of wine LOL. In this instance, I’m guilty of selective reading. So I hope that you accept my apologies as I stick my head in the mud. : )

Also Jen 8 I really don’t want you or any Black woman to feel that you might be better off of as White or Asian based on some ignorant comments. As someone who grew up around Whites and Asians, I don’t find anything special about them that Black women don’t have. That’s just my opinion.

However if a Black man feels as though he is better of with a White or Asian woman then so be it. I’m over Black men who feel the need to bash Black women and make excuses for dating outside their race. What’s the point of wasting my time trying to convince them otherwise?

11 05 2008
rai

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ all of this. you guys are wild. but I am sorry to hear about your dating ordeal. . . welcome to the world of a darkskin black female. lol No black guy wants you, but you would get cut if a black guy sees you with a white/hispanic/asian/purple/teletubby. . . I guess I am just supposed to sit home by myself and twiddle my thumbs until random african american guy decides that I am worthy of a text. lol

11 05 2008
rai

and umerah. . . folks are really showing their ass on here. . . funny as to how there were MULTIPLE frequently ass QUESTIONS (plural) and the one witht he most discussion is the one about him dating women of other races. . . meanwhile, we are trying to convince black dudes that we aren’t “angry black women”

11 05 2008
rai

asked* & with the*

sorry, shytty work computer.

11 05 2008
Jen_8

Sister Toldja. Yes you are right.

Muse, I accept your apology. Thank you.

It’s difficult to not feel frustrated. The first time encountering this type of arguement was upon my moving here to Europe. My boyfriend told me he wasn’t the type to mix with black girls (too much attitude), but I soldiered on. I mean, I just didnt understand the point? But it wasn’t until I met other men and read articles and actually FOUND youtube videos negating the idea of dating a black woman that I saw something terribly wrong. We have racial strife between our men and women! How bizzare! It was a terrible realisation; and people’s responses here perpetuate that idea. It’s not terrible dating outside your race. However why put down the other in an effort to prove your love for your partner? I just didnt understand that concept. And still dont. Which made me come to the conclusion, perhaps, I would have been better off in a another race.

Mary Angelou would cry a tear if that were genetically possible.

11 05 2008
Sister Toldja

rai- Why we can’t be angry though? 1) This isn’t a dating site. I could log off this mofo and go give lapdances to White boys in the Village all night and y’all wouldn’t know it. 2) The whole pretense of the site, as I see it, is Chris venting his anger about certain things (so as to not kill the one guy). You know how Black folk like call and response. He angry, we angry, we all angry together. 3) It’s cathartic and safe in this space. Better for one of these girls, such as me, to come on here and announce that “ITS TOO MANY GOOD SINGLE BLACK WOMEN IN THE WORLD TO BE FUCKING WITH THEM WHITE GIRLS. COME ON PEOPLE!) than to go scream that out in Adams Morgan. 4) Why we can’t be angry though?

12 05 2008
MayDarling

ST,

This is why we shouldn’t be “angry”.

When the Clinton years (pt1) happened, the hyper-wealth boom exploded and according to every so-called social economist, every race/class was “pulled up” except Black men. So they, apparently, have a right to be angrier than we.

We attend/graduate from college at a greater rate than Black men. Therefore creating a greater rift between black women and her counterparts. So, again, they can be angrier than us.

We let one (or 1000) terrible instances with men color our attitudes to the rest. We should let shit go. Yet when Mr. Charlie or Miss Ann says/does something hurtful to one of our men, we should nurse his wounds without a care for our own, because, you know, that’s what we do. It’s ok for a guy to be angry/aggressive. If we’re the same way, we’re just bitches. And don’t let a black woman be a couple of shades darker than Beyonce. That’s an automatic disqualification.

We should, to use a phrase Chris likes, be eye-fucking every dude we think is hot and might want to give a little play to. We shouldn’t expect a man to buy us a drink or pull out our chairs, hold doors, etc. That, apparently, is old-fashioned tired bullshit and our men have a right to angry that we even expect such treatment.

Well, excuse me, but my old-fashioned mother, grandmother and grandfather would have beat my natural born Black ass if I “eye-fucked” a man. I was not raised (and so were many a Black woman) to make the first move. A smile, a polite glance of interest, perhaps a tip of the glass, if one is really interested. But this is, again, old-fashioned and played out.

If a White or Asian girl is sticking her ass out like she’s in heat, throwing her number down your pants, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam, and that’s what it takes, go for it.

Don’t ask me to be happy about it. But don’t give me shit if I decide to play the same game and date a White boy who made conversation and politely asked for a dance.

12 05 2008
Interracial Dating « Stuff Black People Hate

[…] FAQ […]

13 05 2008
mari

@maydarling…co-sign!

15 05 2008
dayglo in PG

I’m your typical dorky white girl (see my complete description on the site “Stuff White People Like”. Or see Julia Stiles in “Save the Last Dance,” maybe).

I grew up with friends of various shades. I learned early about the complications of race as my white mother was darker than my black godmother, and they took me to these local “Salt and Pepper” social meetings and told interesting stories about what they did in the civil rights movement. Now living in Prince George’s County, MD, I have spent a lot of my adult life being the only white person in the restaurant/store/gym/office/chamber of commerce meeting.

I’ve always dated whoever’s sexy. In the past few years, it’s been running 40% African or Carribeans/30% African American / 30% WASPs. I’m much more concerned if he is kind, funny, smart, a little nerdy, and willing to dance than in limiting myself to a color.

However, being a liberal white chick, I have typical liberal guilt about how easy this is for me to do. Let’s say I go out with my girls to a black club in SW DC on Friday and some bar in Bethesda, MD on Saturday. I am 1,000% more likely to be hit on by a brother on Friday than my friends are to be hit on by a white boy on Saturday.

So when women cut their eyes at me when I’m with a hot black guy, I sorta sympathize…I get the fact that I have more options and it’s not really fair. Like how young women who date older men are reducing the options for older women.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do though – turn down all the beautiful sweet guys who live in my neighborhood? Hang out in Irish pubs wearing jeans rather than getting dressed up to go out dancing (and did I mention how much I love to dance)? Hope and pray that one of the white boys in my kickball league FINALLY, after 2 years, pays some attention to my tall curvy self rather than to the hordes of petite little things with flat asses? For some reason, I just don’t get approached by many white guys. I will be in a bar among hundreds of white people, nobody notices me all night, and one black guy walks in and comes straight over to me. The only white guys who take me out – we meet as friends first, or through online dating.

The last black guy I dated, his sister was engaged to a white guy. So I was much more relaxed than usual about meeting his family – like her fiance canceled out my sin.

I will say that I do have one major rule when dating a black guy. If I see his photo albums/Facebook/myspace, and the majority of the girls are white, I end it. Same thing if he makes some kind of comment about how crazy/aggressive/bitter black women are – it’s over right away.

You know what really ticks me off in a club? When other white girls there are trashy, with weirdly dyed, greasy hair and cheap-ass clothes. You have all these beautiful brown lawyers and medical students and Capitol Hill types in here, and you have to bring that skanky white girl? Plus she’s making me look bad! (Is this equivalent to an EBP being embarassed by someone acting ghetto around white folks?)

–dayglo

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

” Hope and pray that one of the white boys in my kickball league FINALLY, after 2 years, pays some attention to my tall curvy self rather than to the hordes of petite little things with flat asses? ”

YES! That’s what the fuck Black women have to do when they are in mixed environments and the Black men are all over the non-Black women. Don’t give up on your White brothers, there is someone out there for you. YOU deserve a tall handsome white prince of your own. Don’t give up.

No, it’s NOT like younger women and older men. It’s about self-hatred, European standards of beauty, the low value of Black women in America and Black women/men having some issues they really need to iron out.

Yes, you DO have ‘typical liberal guilt’, which means you feel bad about something and do absolutely nothing to change it.

All the handsome, sweet guys in your neighborhood, eh? In PG County? I challenge ANY Black girl on here to tell me about all the handsome, sweet guys in their neighboorhood. I for damn sure can’t tell you that has been my experience in DC, PG and not here in BK either. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

As for the last paragraph, and I am not trying to be mean, but no matter how pretty you are….that is EXACTLY what my girls and I would say about you if we saw you in the club with a Black man in DC. No, it’s not the equivalent of an EPB being embarrassed of ghetto folks. It’s the equivalent of a person of 5’9 questioning the presence of 5’7 at a “6’0 Tall People Convention”. At the end of the day, you are out of place too. You could be Jennifer Anniston and we would say “This raggedy bitch ain’t done shit since “Friends”! My cousin who do hair and weighs 300 pounds is cuter and better than her!” You can’t win with most of us. But it doesn’t matter, cause you can win with most of our disloyal men. Congrats, I suppose. And thank you sooo kindly for you pity, us lonely, angry Black women appreciates it!

(Yes, I am pretty and yes, I get courted and asked out by a regular basis. But this does not negate the admittedly irrational anger I felt reading this long ass post. “Waaah waaah, White men don’t like me, I have to date Black men” GRRRR!)

Anger level=off the charts

15 05 2008
Shine

ST just a question… have you been hit on by a white guy? I am so blind to them most of the time that the one time I remember being hit on by a white boy I didn’t realize it until 30 minutes later. I was so confused. It was sad. I was thinking all through class, what in the hell was wrong with this boy. Why was he staring at me and following me after he had asked his question. Then I realized if he had been any shade of brown I would’ve recognized he was trying to holla and start a conversation and he was being very nice about it. But because he was so atypical (and not anywhere near what I considered attractive) I was just confused. I wonder if he were cute, if I would’ve recognized his game. It’s like a guy approaching you when you’re not in the right mindframe throws you off.

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

LOL. It happens occassionally and it’s almost always in a bar. Sometimes, they have this strange thing going where they can’t stop saying how pretty they think I am, as if they can’t believe it themselves. Like “You’re Black, but I find you attractive! How did this happen?” Other times, they are normal and polite enough, but I am not interested. I have had a few ask me to dance, in bars, which is weird and the last thing I want to do is put the spotlight on me because I am dancing in a bar with a White man. I think only one White man who ever flirted with me did I find remotely attractive, but he didn’t actually try to holler and I don’t think I could have really done more than befriend him anyway.

I love Black men too much for the swirl. Plus, I am not having children who can pass for White. Too many problems. My dad is already getting guaranteed mixed grandkids from one of my sisters. I wanna do like my other sister and bring him home a man like himself who he will love and fish with.

15 05 2008
Shine

dayglo, I’m not as mad as sista toldja but thats probably because I have lower standards, and most often depressed about the state of black people in general. I tend to be cynical and pessimistic which is why I say I’m happier than others. On the one hand I appreciate your recognition of priveledge (sp?) but on the other hand I’m kinda like don’t pity me over these shitty bastards (black and white who choose not to holla at my superfineself).

Also to note, this is why I don’t even give the black guys I see at a white club a first glance. I know what they came there for. Any sistas I see at a white club, we can talk, because we know we were tricked/dragged there. Or came out of compassion. Also I don’t dance at white clubs because all the people around me being so off rythymn throws me off beat.

Also I feel like a white girl growing up in PG county is kinda like myself growing up in PW county. Thats why I tried hard not to harass my brothers when they ended up taking white girls to dances or dating or whatever. Thats who was around. There weren’t that many black girls (in their classes) and even fewer who would accept some of their eccentricities(the techno music, the semi-dorkiness, the talking). But I was worried inside sometimes that they would get bitter and say some hateful stuff about black women. But luckily both them are champions of a natural black woman so I think I helped guide them on the right path (yes I’m in full arrogance mode today-ask me what else I’ve done to change the world).

Lord help me my spelling has gone to shit today. Don’t nobody make fun of me, I’m having a bad English day. 🙂

15 05 2008
Shine

Yo I was trying to say something like that to some of my classmate and they were not getting it. I’m not nixing the white guys (especially b.c. i was talking to my white crush) but I would really hope to bring home a black man my dad will go fishing with too. I feel like he would be kinda disappointed in me even though he wouldn’t ban the marriage or be mean or racist if I brought home a white guy. Also my sister really upset him by introducing her white husband on the day of the million man march. But my little nephews are black, they have a white dad, who they love and idolize but they’re black. So I feel its alright. Also my sister is darker so her babies look like black children, I’m brown so I guess I feel its cool too. If I were lighter I think I might be more hesitant too. Plus, I apologize Chris-I still love you, light eyes on brown people often creep me out. Terrence Howard would be so cute except I feel not only will flip out and beat my ass one day but he may bite me. And not in a good way. His light eyes look a little too creepy. (heehee mr. baby wipes). If my babies had light eyes (and I know I have some light eye recessive genes in me) I would have to work hard to not give them a complex about it. I’d love them, but I’d probably be SMH inside going, damn, why they have these light eyes. But also considering I don’t really notice eye color I probably wouldn’t know they had light eyes until they were 10.

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

DEAD @ Terrance Howard…..ahhhhhhhhahahahahhaha!!!!! In defense of light eyes, while they creep me out a little at times too, I think Terrance has a creepiness about him that is way more than skin deep. I’d still smash though (even though I heard he is a willlld boy when it comes to that).

On the DAY of the Million Man March? Whooooooo boy. My dad, to the surprise of many has had a good attitude about my White might-as-well-be brother in law. He’s mixed himself, though I never heard him use that word until I was 20, so for all the militancy, it would be hard for him to come down as hard as he may have wanted to. He’s just happy she’s happy and I am too. But if you think one of MY kids is getting away with that bullshit…..

15 05 2008
Knatural

WOW @ Sister Toldja and Shine! Wow. Dayglo can date whoever she attracts/is attracted to her. Why be so angry. I understand your level of loyalty ST, but I worry about settling. White men, in general, aren’t as aggressive or to-the-point as Black men tend to be, that is true. And they’re probably just nervous/scared when approaching a woman of color.
At one point I was ‘angry’ at White women for “stealing our men” but then I had to ask myself – do I even want that particular man? He may be a bastard who hates dogs, beats women, hates art, or snores – I don’t want that! Now, I truly don’t care, no conditions either i.e. if a Black guy dates a 400lb marshmallow, I truly don’t care.
The excuse [“I need to take home someone my daddy can fish with”] is a cop-out. But we all have our preferences, don’t jump on me 😛
And light-eyes freak you out Shine?!?!?! AHAHAHAHAAHAH I empathize, kinda. I dated a guy {GORGEOUS}, part Native American, truly, with yellow eyes and reddish-brown skin. He looked like a lion.

15 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOL@ Shine with her light eyed babies hahaha thats too funny…When my cousin had her daughter the whole family would make a little fun of her saying she was dipping in the milk because her baby came out with blue eyes and she is real pale even now that the child is 5. She is beautiful though and looks just like her daddy…What is wrong with light colored eyes? They are pretty and its not like you will have a choice on what color your eyes come out anyways. It all depends on your family genes. No one in our immediate family has real light colored eyes mostly dark brown except for my grandfather who has green eyes like his mother’s. So you cant really go by if a black woman has kids with a white man the babies will come out with blue yes and straight or curly hair and a slight tan when they get older… You could be balck and marry someone black and can still have a child with hazel eyes and wavy hair because it goes way back to our ancestors…

15 05 2008
Anmarie

A white man gave me the last whole wheat oatmeal chocolate chip walnut cookie at the union square farmers market yesterday and he instead settled for the one with out the walnuts. Oh man those were good cookies.

15 05 2008
Anmarie

“I tend to be cynical and pessimistic which is why I say I’m happier than others” True dat Shine! Tru Dat. I hate everyone and everything and enjoy my life. 🙂 I know what you mean.

15 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

Knat-WOW @ Sister Toldja and Shine! Wow. Dayglo can date whoever she attracts/is attracted to her. Why be so angry. I understand your level of loyalty ST, but I worry about settling. White men, in general, aren’t as aggressive or to-the-point as Black men tend to be, that is true. And they’re probably just nervous/scared when approaching a woman of color.
At one point I was ‘angry’ at White women for “stealing our men” but then I had to ask myself – do I even want that particular man? He may be a bastard who hates dogs, beats women, hates art, or snores – I don’t want that! Now, I truly don’t care, no conditions either i.e. if a Black guy dates a 400lb marshmallow, I truly don’t care.
The excuse [“I need to take home someone my daddy can fish with”] is a cop-out. But we all have our preferences, don’t jump on me
And light-eyes freak you out Shine?!?!?! AHAHAHAHAAHAH I empathize, kinda. I dated a guy {GORGEOUS}, part Native American, truly, with yellow eyes and reddish-brown skin. He looked like a lion.

I have to agree with Knat..why not date whoever you want, Why limit yourself to one race? I never really got that. I grew up in Silver Spring/ Bethesda, I was friends with all types of races of ppl. I dated white boys who were just as aggressive ass black dudes. And I dated Black dudes that were just ass possesive as a Latino dude. I have dated them all because I wanted to explore my options and learn new cultrures. My ex was 1/2 Norwegien and 1/2 Liberian I learned alot from him even thoguht he was an asshole crackanigga..Im an equal opp. dater!

15 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

ok umm i mean to say as not ass..see where my mind is again hahaha

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knat- It’s not an excuse. I can say with no hesitiation I AM NOT INTERESTED IN WHITE MEN, lol. I have ONLY considered them at the urging of friends who think it’s better than being alone, don’t sit and wait for a Black man, yadda, yadda, yadda. The desire to bring Dad home a son-in-law is just icing on the chocolate, Huxtable cake that I want for my life, LOL. But I don’t need cop outs. I don’t want to touch a White man, kiss one, sex one. No No HELL NO.

I am not angry at White women for dating our men, but I am angry at that stupid shit that woman wrote like “OMG, what am I supposed to do, white men don’t want me”. I rather someone just be like “Fuck it, I just date who I want”. I abhor liberal guilt and that was the guiltiest liberal bullshit I had read in weeks. She made Black men sound like a consolation prize and then turned her nose up at other White women who date Black men, as if she is different or better than them because she doesn’t wear spandex or something. And she offered her sympathy for the poor, pathetic Black women who see her our with a “hot” Black guy.

I can cope with people being more liberal than I, but that shit right there ticked me off. Also, I am coming from a very different worldview than most.

15 05 2008
Anmarie

“At one point I was ‘angry’ at White women for “stealing our men” but then I had to ask myself – do I even want that particular man? ”

Tru Tru that Knat, almost everytime I see a black man with a white woman he is super black yuppie, head in his ass conceited, which I can’t stand. Or super thugged out looking like a walking rap video which i really can’t stand. And most times she gives you the look like she’s expecting some black woman drama, and I’m like girl i don’t want that fool. And obviously he’s attracted to big foot so it wouldn’t work out between us anyway. I tend to like a more earthy man who puts some thought into the woman he chooses, ie not caught up in the white girl crase.

15 05 2008
Shine

Yea, my grandmother had light eyes (don’t know the color) and I really didn’t recognize it until after she died* and my mother brought it up. But it just alwasy seem odd to me. And its not really just brown people. I argued with a friend who had a crush on a white boy with black hair that he had blue eyes. I swore to her they were brown. Lo and behold they were blue. I mean this chick was the one stalking him and I didn’t believe her. I just assume if you have black hair you have brown eyes. Just and oddity about me. Some people prefer blue eyes and think they’re pretty. I’m just the opposite. I’m not going to treat you funky because of it, but I will be like ew. I don’t think thats cute. I’m trying to think of a parallel feature… big/wide eyes vs. thin/asiatic eyes. I prefer the thin but I have the big. Thin and delicate vs. thick and meaty hands on a man? Actually both of those are kinda bad but I thin and delicate would freak me out more than thick ass ham hands. Or a man with really soft hands. I nearly ran away from a tall pretty boy (the pretty was already doing me over-looked like he used Scurl) after he shook my hand because his were baby soft. Freaked me out, I probably left dust trails getting away from him. Do some work damnit! Chop some wood or something. His hands were softer than mine

As far as black men coming home, maybe its my dad who impressed that upon me. I would like to, but I’m not choosing my dates on who would my daddy like. I would feel a little guilt, much like dayglo’s white guilt, but not nearly enough for me to change my actions. My dad’s also tried to warn me off Puerto ricans, Africans, all Caribbeans, Mexicans, Salvadorians, Persians, Arabs, etc (he thinks they are chauvanists who don’t treat women right). Also he was born in the forties in south carolina so I get a little something is ingrained in him that leads him to generalize sometimes. Its funny though, when he meets people he takes them on a person-to-person basis and has a racially and ethnically diverse group of friends. But then he sometime’s likes to stereotype and generalize. I don’t understand this disconnect.

Knatural, I said I wasn’t angry at dayglo, she’s dating in her environment and the people who are attracted to her. I aint mad at her. She damn sure shouldn’t wait for that dodgeball fool. But a bit of what she said sounded kind of pitying and have low tolerance for pitying. But what she said was 100% truth and I’m cool with anyone who can recognize that and not make excuses. Just don’t go too far on the other side. Sorry I have found too many white liberals who want to ‘befriend’ me as a cause because of their white guilt. Plus I mentioned I’m cynical and pessimistic in general sense. Probably it seems like I jump the gun a lot on this site. I’m trying to say exactly what I mean though. Just like I will support interracial couples who are in it for love, I also am extremely suspicous of all interracial couples I see, for the exact reasons that were mentioned in the interracial couple post. You’re not going to see me looking at a random interracial couple and going CONGRATULATIONS guys! yay!. I’m a suspicous bastard that way. But if I know you them and its all love I’m going to be like these guys are great, yay!

*I was a teenager when she died. I am not joking about the NEVER noticing eye color stuff.

15 05 2008
Shine

I’m trying to think now if I ever saw a brotha with someone else and I was like, damn! that was one I wasn’t willing to give up. And I can’t think of one. There’s a few that I would like for myself but they were with good women and I didn’t really think of their race. And I definitely didn’t think either of our races would trump the other. If you’re with a badass chick I may be like yo, she got to go so you can get with me but I wont be yo, she got to go so you can get (back) with black woman. ST do we differ here?

15 05 2008
Knatural

Shine – bright icy blue Nordic eyes = scary to me, so I understand. Wow Shine – “Puerto ricans, Africans, all Caribbeans, Mexicans, Salvadorians, Persians, Arabs” – all that?!!?!? And ST, I completely get your loyalty; you’re probably a good friend because of it. You’re a Leo, right, that’s how they are. I’ve never TRULY been attracted to a White guy enough to date/have sex with him (only Halfies*), but still remained open to the notion of it, I think. And I completely get wanting to please Dad, He is our example of manhood and male-love we have growing up. But, like Shine mentioned, it’s not all about White. They’re men from all over the world that will treat you the way you teach them to.

*I kinda hate the term ‘mixed’ and prefer more politically incorrect terms like Halfie, Halfbreed, Mixed Nut, or Off-Black.

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

My dad made me love Black men by example. He never had to tell me to bring a Black man home and he never had to worry about me doing anything but.

@ Shine- I have definitely seen men that I found either aesthetically appealing or I liked them as people, and they were with white girls or some other race. I have somewhat of a lean towards the artsy, Afro- bohemian type and the “cool Buppie” (non pretentious, professopnal dude with a degree and job who lets his hair down on weekends, great sense of humor). And these motherfuckers like white women. The latter doing so doesn’t shock me, but the former just goes to show you how people can fake the funk.

15 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Agh! Creepy! Yes, I am a Cancer/Leo….how did you know?

When people ask if my pops is mixed he says “Yes, but not mixed up.” LOL!

I am even more non-PC. I like the words mullato and quadroon. I loudly made a comment about ‘fake concious brothers and white girls’ at the bar one night, cause this cutie-pie, extra militant looking dread was with these busted white broads. So he decided to start a conversation with me about it and I asked him “Are you a mullato or something?” He said he had never heard the word outside of a textbook. He also said White girls were cool for now, but that he would want to marry a sister who was brown (“Way darker than you”), so his kids would be brown. I hate people.

15 05 2008

I went on a date with a white man once, He was good looking and very nice.
We went to dinner and I thought that I would be uncomfortable becasue people would look at us funny, but we were in a restuarant with a bunch of interracial couples. I was uncomfortable because we had nothing in common, he couldn’t dance, he wasn’t athletic, and most of all, he was white. I was like how am I gonna say “look at that fat white chick…” Or “This idiot broke his leg skate boarding and keep skating after it healed…only white folks” I just couldn’t I wasn’t interested and knew there was nothing there. He didn’t even have a preferrence in music…smh

I know all white men aren’t like that but ONE HOUR of uncomfortableness was enough. Plus my mom isn’t going for it.

15 05 2008
Shine

Yea my dad basically shocked me one day, after I had come home from the caribbean by warning me off all caribbean men. Then I mentioned something after coming home from school (with the Nigerians) and he tried to warn me off all African men. I was so amused I started thowing out all the races I could think of to see what he would say about them. But I gotta love my dad because he wants to protect me against male chauvanism around the world. Oh he also warned me against most Asian men too, esp Filipinos. I was like “I can’t get with Uncle so-and-so’s son?” But then he was like, he’s ok he’s americanized. I don’t know why he’s worried anyway that I may fall for a chauvanist bastard. He usually trusts my no-nonsense attitude with people, but then again he’s also multiply promised to shoot any man I bring home or who treats me wrong, or raises a hand to me.(I’m close to 6′ tall and not light, who is going to raise a hand to me that I couldn’t handle myself? and my dad is much shorter than me so I sometimes find this funny). He even took it so far to clean his guns, which he never used so far as I’ve known him, when I went off to college.

15 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

wayyyyyyy off topic but why the fuck would this girl wear that…
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/05/12/edwards.skimpy.prom.dress.khou?DPFPR=true

15 05 2008
Shine

Hmm, am I an ass for saying shit about white people, around white people? My partner in crime’s boyfriend is white (and she’s half) and I say that shit all the time. I feel like if I’m friends with you, you’re not the type of white person I’m talking about, but I don’t feel like getting super PC on you and being like, white people who have these characteristics are always doing this…

Also I jokingly use the words octaroon and quadroon (esp. to describe this one really light boy) but I learned to stop using them up here. Too many Nigerians who had no idea what the word was and how it could be offensive (esp. to that light boy) and they just loved it. Much like I introduced the word niggerish to my Nigerian friend, then I had to ban her from using it for at least 10 more years until she learns how to differentiate between just black things and niggerish things.

15 05 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHA, I remember you said you were a Leo. Yeah, Halfie isn’t as offensive as Mulatto. I need to work on that. “He also said White girls were cool for now, but that he would want to marry a sister who was brown (”Way darker than you”), so his kids would be brown” – THIS PISSES ME OFF TO NO END
What kind of man are you? No Integrity. No fucking sense. No women deserves to be a plaything – even White girls. And I used to get HEATED! at the sight of a Black dude w/ locs dating Beckie/Susie/Caitlin, but now I don’t care. To each his own.

15 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAo@ Becky.. thats what my man calls every white girl…we were driving one night and we saw this white girl walking by herself on the phone and he was like “hmmm Becky looks a little lost in this 98% black neighborhood” and just to fuck with her he beeped his horn and she froze up so quick i wa slaughing my ass off!

16 05 2008
Sister Toldja

LOL! That reminds me of perhaps the most ignorant/fun thing I did in my life. About three years ago, when the gentrificaton of Ledroit Park (the neighborhood surrounding HU) had finally reached a fever pitch and I had had to find a fucking apartment in NE DC (meaning no more walking to school), a couple of my friends and I were riding around Ledroit in my car listening to Michael Jackson’s Bad. Then we saw this yuppie prick jogging. I don’t know who suggested it or how we thought of it, but we followed him for about ten minutes playing “Beat It” at maximum volume. It was HILARIOUS. We stopped because my friend started feeling bad and whining about “This is mean, this isn’t right….”. So we had to stop and focus on calling him a punk ass bitch. Fuck that dude, he’ll be straight. We didn’t burn any crosses on his lawn or sic the dogs on him or spray paint “Whitey go home” on his garage. Just a little college prank.

16 05 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHA@Sister Toldja. That’s messed up. It’s funny: Ledroit Park was built as a gated community for Whites only, I guess everything comes full circle 🙂

17 05 2008
Shine

Oooh damnit can we have a post on gated communities. I hate the whole idea of them. (I give only an exception in the chance that the gated community is somewhere it is needed for people who do need it, which it never is, except this one place in newark, where unfortunately the people within the gates, should probably be outside). Worst thing I saw was a gated community on a caribbean island, St. Maarten i think, full of Europeans. I mean how are you going to move to another country and then gate out the people who live there?! And st. maarten isn’t remotely dangerous so thats not an excuse, just pure damn snobbery.

18 05 2008
rai

wow. . . it was all jokes. but I don’t want our humorous anger to come off to random folks as “just another angry black woman mad because some pretty little white girl stole her man”. . .
1) u can’t “steal” people unless u are talkin about out of Africa or punchin someone in the face. . .
2) the black dudes I see with white girls. . . aren’t with “pretty little ones”. its the chunky ones that white guys won’t have shyt to do with even just as friends. lol now I am not knockin the chunky, because at 6’0 200ish myself, i am NOWHERE near small. but u have DEF got to have your clothes and attitude right. . . but moreimportantly, many black dudes are lazy. and that big white girl who couldn’t SELL her pussy for the last 2 years is a lot easier to have suck, fawk, and duck than the random black chick with her shyt together. . . and (again I know this isn’t a fair comparison, but it is what I see. . . when he brings home a pretty little white girl of quality instead of the big bytch trailor/hood, “im so bootylicious” I pay for flights out of PG county to bumfawk Alabama, I met my boyfriend on myspace by showin him pictures of my pale ass sloppy titties & my iridescent wide not phat, plump, juicy, or bootylicious by ANY means ass, I suck for bucks, black men love me because I am so pretty with my wash n go rotten ass hair and my sexy shape even though I just look like a big ass pink ball, even though it is really because I will suck his dick even when I am mad at him. oh yeah and I have 2 little mulatto kids whose fawkin hair I can’t do to save my life bum bottom ass broad. . . I will give a handclap. . . until then, i will just point and laugh.)
3) if u are going to come out in public, hold ole girl’s hand. . . that’s your bytch, u brought her out the house, why not claim her? and I partially blame the white chicks for STANDING for that shyt. . .I wish a dude I drove in MY car and is allegedly my boyfriend, i wish that muthafawka WOULD try not to hold my hand when I go to grab his. . . he is going to go at it slam in the middle of the Hoffman. If u are embarrassed of slim, why are u talking to her??? shyt why even try to sugarcoat it? if she asks “how come u never take me out?” just say because u look a mess, and it isn’t just your clothes, it is also your teeth, your hair, and your shape in general. . .
4) SEVERAL of my friends, date outside of their race (which is usually black) again, no issue. but she needs to be something she can bring the family fourth of july cookout. . . don’t give her a title if she wouldn’t pass the family test. . . (again this family has to be logical and mildly open, and the only thing they could bytch about is her being white. . . because if anything else like a limp, ill-fitting clothes, a pig nose, any animal kingdom resemblance, etc, family is going to emotionally maim her lol)
5) finally, a friend of mine call the nasty looking chunky white chick that looks/acts like a slut and dates (most likely exclusively black men, for reasons, according to them & known by anyone else to be false, stated above. . . “spiffy(s)”. isolated incident. lol

oh and PS: I love sister toldja. . . no gay shyt tho. lol she reminds me of me. . . the “I knew common when he was common sense, I hate okayplayer now because everyone gets on there now, I don’t listen to the radio because it is ass & Little Wayne isn’t the best rapper, My wardrobe consists of army/pea soup green and brown, Tofu is my favorite food, Only faggots wear pink/purple/neon colors/little jeans/little jackets/etc and then attempt to match them all in an even gayer shoe, I listen to REAL music & I don’t even know who soldier boy IS lol, I’ve already had dreads so these local bammas are LATE, I have no paper trail, I was a conspiracy theorist in 2000 but when 9/11 happened everyone thought i was a prophet, Spoken word doesn’t have to be angry or rhyme” type dudes are SOOOOO my type. . . they get sexual assault on sight. lol

On another note, I am not totally against black dudes dating sloppy white girls. . . but the only thing that pisses me off more than a dude that exclusively dates white chicks “because they don’t have bad attitudes” are the black guys that are completely and totally racist. Okay, I can understand you not wanting to date a white chick or listen to linkin park or maroon 5 (these are apparently the only white band accepted by the black community lol) because u “don’t like rock and roll”. . . but for you to be blatantly disrespectful and ignorant is ridiculous. . . for example, for people to think that “party like a rockstar” song was good OR that the song/video was even REMOTELY accurate is absurd. . . if I was white & I liked rock, I would be mildly offended. . . shyt I am as black as the come and I like “rock” and was still offended. lol

okay that’s enough. . . i SHOULD be doing some work lol

18 05 2008
rai

and the dudes mentioned in the PS i swear almost exclusively date outside of their race (like tolja said). . . I am too dark to pretend to be ethopic, white, mixed, cherokee, asian, hispanic, etc. . . so plain ole regular black chick gets NO love. lol then again, I would never walk up to any dude and try my hand. . . plus there are too many guys (in the DC area at least), posing as “earthy”. . . like do u even know who the hell Che Guevara IS?????? or did u just buy the shirt because everyone else has it? Why do u have bob marley posters up? Is it because he smoked, and u think u guys have a connection through weed? the only CD of his you have is “Legend” and u don’t even KNOW who the wailers, come on man!!! Jesus is NOT YOUR HOMEBOY!!!!!!!!! goddamnit! (in case u haven’t realized, if I had the chance to blow up every ‘Up Against the Wall’ ever i wouldn’t pass it up for free gas for life. lol )

SO many times I have been fooled by the color of your tshirt and/or the dreads and/or the glasses. . . but NEVER AGAIN!!!! lol then again, fat, black, and angry just may not be their type lol

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Thank you, rai. Yeah, you got my ideal, yet non existent boo prototype down to a tee, if you subtract usage of the word “faggot” and through a college degree and at least 6’0 of height on there! I don’t mind the colorful shirts, but I hate men in skinny jeans! Ugh. I don’t wear or understand jeans at all, but I like it when a mans jeans look clean, but still kinda have that “I picked these up off the floor” kinda wrinkled look about them. I don’t like all this new fancy mess. When did jeans start costing more than 60, 80 bucks? Why do they have to go to the cleaners now? I went to Filene’s Basement with a friend yesterday and saw all these jeans I had never heard of like Joes, Paper Denim and some other crap, and of course the notorious Sevens….yuck. Jeans are for boys and better yet, the floor next to my bed.

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

LOL! Up Against The Wall is the devil! I do go in there for my big shades when I’m in town though, lol.

Yeah, most of those guys are posers. That’s why I expanded my tastes milleniafold. I am quite happy with a seemingly nerdy corporate fella who knows more about Black history than these fake revolutionaries, can buy a good bottle of wine AND the right rolling papers 😉 and has fun taste in music. Unfortunately, it seems like every archetype I come up with is less and less existant.

18 05 2008
rai

lol!!!! I didn’t think I was askin too much. . .
1) his jeans can’t be tighter than mine. . .
2) If I say “incredible roots crew” he needs to know EXACTLY who I am talkin about & run down their next several concert dates.
3) taller than me. . . I am 6’0. . . maybe these DC guys are just little, but If I am 6’0. . . and I put on heels, u should still be taller than me. . .
4) guys in overpriced jeans make me dry. . . when I was coming up, the ONLY jeans guys bought were Old Navy’s. . . and only the ones that were $19.50. . . the ones that were $24.50 or $29.50 were often greeted with “*scoff* hell naw, they are just jeans” lol
5) I stumbled into the Off Saks in Arundel Mills. . . “now $129.99, was $199.99”. . . and she was like ooh I should get these. If I pay $130 it better come with a cellulite eater and a new ass
6) college degree is so essential. . . or at the very least a skill. nothing more useless than a guy that can’t change a tire, fix my water heater, properly unclog a toilet, AND can’t get a job makin more than 50k a year because he decided “college isn’t for me”
7) a job or at the very least gas money. . . $67.06 to fill up my goddamn tank, enough said lol

and no wonder I can’t find/keep him. . . every other girl is looking for him too. . . goddamnit! lol

18 05 2008
Shine

ST and rai, I thought of you guys this weekend when I was hanging out with this PR bohemian. Geophysicist, bass player, short story writing, was sleeping in Central park overnight because he was partying until late morning in BK, before meeting me at the Met to go check out the superhero exhibit they had and hip me to the rest of the Met (b.c. it was my first time). Yet still cool enough to laugh at the brother with the natural locs in ‘crazy I’m a bohemian and down for the cause’ gear and his white companion in matching blonde dreads b.c. they should be laughed at, even as the pass right in front of us and can see us giggling and staring and hear us talking. Wearing cornrows and paint covered jeans and hoody, but knows his artists in the museum, and his old school. Absolutely crushworthy. When I meet guys who have the dreads, and the Jesus slippers and the Che shirts and the glasses I always hope they’re like this. But they just end up being posers who want you to listen to their wackass poetry (good poetry is great but posers make wack shit thinking its deep). But the point is there need to be a lot more guys like him out there. Damnit but they always seem to be loners. I want a large group of them so I can pick and choose like a fat person at a buffet.

Also impressed by his joy and knowledge of American cars. I feel like you aren’t really a man if you don’t like American cars. Don’t expound upon me the value of a Japanese car, you lose masculine points with me. When you talk foreign cars it better be about some German engineering and/or luxury lines.

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

I am not paying 130 for any piece of attire that I can’t rightly say will fit or interest me in a year. I don’t wear the same size in 2008 that I wore in 2007 or 2006. A coat? Sure, but skirt or dress? Unless it is formal, then no. I don’t spend a lot of money on any type of clothes. I am cheap when it comes to that! I have this dress that I got from the junior section at Target, a little summer dress that I wear with a jean shirt or sweater when I run errands or hang out on weekends. Everytime I wear it, I get a compliment. I think people confuse dropping money on clothes with having a good sense of style. Then again, a lot of people (men and women) will name check your shit or sweat somebody wearing this lable or the next one. If you look good in your big money gear, more power to ya, but it doesn’t impress me not in the least. If you have on cheap shoes, I don’t care as long as they look nice.

You are 6’0? I am jealous and sorry for you. I always wanted to be six feet, and for a while I thought I would be. But I hit 5’8 in high school and slowly crept up to 5’9 by the time I was 21. I’m over 6’0 in heels of course, and I always feel like a freaking giant when I go out. Last night I was thisclose to fighting some little women because they were mad that my hair hit them when I danced in this crowded ass club. No one told them hoes to stop growing! And don’t get me starred on trying to talk to men when you are tall. Just ridiculous. I hate tall men who like short women and I have no interest in short men who like tall women. Bah humbug all around.

18 05 2008
Shine

Rai, Girl you are either driving a truck or an American car too. 62$ for me to fill up 2 weeks ago to drive to DC. Pissed. And I can’t stand a useless, penniless man. Even if you don’t know how to do it you better fake it. I had to clown a dude because he was riding with my girl and she got a flat. And they both sat there and looked at each other. He asked her if she knew how to change a tire. I would’ve called AAA to get them to change my tire and tow his useless ass away somewhere.

And girl I’m an inch and a half shorter, about the same size but in heels and my afro out I look about 6’3″ and would love to have a man taller than me. Can’t get him because all these mini-me chicks have snatched them all up damnit! 🙂 I have to tell my 5’2″ friends all the time I don’t want to hear you talking about how you need a man at least 6′. You can take a 5’7″ and still be good. I can’t mess with mr. 5’7″, looking at the top of his head all day.

18 05 2008
rai

good point. . . REAL men drive like their name is on the lease and they have somewhere to be. . . nothin more annoying thana man that scared behind the wheel. . . “Nigga if you don’t WHIP this muthafawka. . .” lol!

I truly think I born at the wrong time. . . like I like “manly men”. . . not necessarily women beaters or jocks or big ole muscular cant wipe my own ass guys. . . but guys who are what my daddy taught me men should be. lol You just have to like good music, breaking/fixing stuff, sports (basketball, football, and/or soccer preferred), being sweaty/greasy, and like tails and titties. . . should not wear pink or even shirts that have small red and white stripes that from a distance LOOK LIKE pink lol. we shouldn’t have to fight for mirror time. I am all for the green movement. . . but if u have a focus or any fawkin hybrid, have me come get you. lol

18 05 2008
Shine

Hey both of you guys, do you find almost every guy you get with is damn near exactly your height? And they’re really happy about it?

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

“Damnit but they always seem to be loners. I want a large group of them so I can pick and choose like a fat person at a buffet. ”

YES! Girl! I hate that. You’ll meet one guy of that sort and he is a total dream, but he will be taken or he won’t have any friends to hook your girls up with. Or you end up feeling like you have to fight extra hard for him cause they don’t make too many of that sort and you will never find another.

18 05 2008
rai

lol!!!!! @ fat person @ a buffet!!!! yes ma’am. . . line them up so I can pick which one I want for today and pencil in the one for tuesday lol. dude told me the history of audi and told me how some companies give different names for their high end cars or some shyt, I can’t remember. . . I was too busy mentally undressing him lol.

Girl, my friend put me on to the magic that is filene’s, marshalls and even ross. . . now I am a bigger, taller girl. . . so if I go in forever 21 its only for the earrings. lol I’ve never been a fan of overpriced clothes. . . but the fact that they “run small” and that their sizes stop @ 12, is all the more reason for me to be completely over that simple label shyt. . . yea it cost u $200 but it is ugly. . . sounds like you’ve been had! lol I’ve always said if I ever start a line, it is just going to be cheap shyt that is overpriced. . . makin BANK because of fools only want know “how much”. . . man last summer was my first time really gettin into sundresses. . . I bought one from ross, wore than thing until the black was grey and I broke the straps. . . without fail every time in it, pullin the fellas and broads would say “your dress is really pretty”. . . I paid $19.99 plus tax (which was 5% back then lol. . . speaking of which, I wonder if he has a blog about sales tax)

NO MA’AM!!!! I drive a fawkin camry!!!!!!!!!! imagine my befuddlement and as that shyt hit $50 and KEPT ON FAWKIN ROLLING!!!!!!!! lol girl if I knew I could blow up that fawkin exxon and get away with it. . . lol

and yeah, I am 6’0, fat, and I like to wear heels. . . and I might be going natural (I am gettin a weave for graduation because moms keeps bytchin at me, yeah yeah yeah I know conforming the man. lol). I think dudes look @ me the way the do mount everest. . . or maybe just that chick from deuce bigalow “that’s a big bytch!” lol tall dudes think I am “too tall” (the AUDACITY of a nigga that is 6’7 tellin me I am too tall!!!!! lol) and short dudes look @ me like a personal goal or their own jungle gym. . . NO YOU CAN’T SWING FROM MY TITTIES! go the hell away! lol

*frustration!!!!!*

18 05 2008
rai

my ex was like 5’11 and some change so he was kinda my hieght. . . and he was just so goddamn excited about it AND wanted me to always dress up and wear heels. . . but I am kinda like “ummmm u are little”. . . I don’t wanna look like his mother.

18 05 2008
Shine

GRRRRRRRRR no I get that Everest effect too girl, I don’t tell guys my weight even though I get that question a lot. What negro out there done lost his mind asking a woman her weight. Your mother oughtta slap the teeth out your mouth. And even when I give them the stink eye and tell them they’re rude they continue to want to guess. And THEY WILL! (not to mention they always guess wrong and I’m sure they think they are guessing 10lbs under what they think I really am to be nice but I still wont tell them because they are usually off by 40-60lbs) And I hate it b.c. I can see the look in their eye. Especially the tiny ones. You can see it forming in their primitive little competitive brains “I can pick you up” And then I have to run. Because they will try and they will ambush you when you’re back is turned and your clothes are all uncomfortable and you know you’re going to fall b.c. this dude assumed you were 50lbs lighter but he’s too macho to admit he can’t hold you. Yugk. I hate those Everest complex mothafuckas. Then they think they’re some damn champion after the lift/date whatevea. Plus some of them have mommy complexes and I aint got time to baby/breast feed no grown ass man.

18 05 2008
Shine

Yea this friend I had known for 3 years always liked when I wore my boots b.c. I was mad tall. He was 6″ even and saw me in socks one day and was shocked he was taller than him. Also I try not to wear heels around guys I date so much b.c. I love me a man who’s thin and if I’m already bigger than you I don’t need to also look so damn much taller than you, no matter how much you like it. People look at me like I’m the man in the situation, even in my cute summer dress. They ask questions to both of us, or about him and then look to me for the answer.

18 05 2008
rai

“I can pick u up” lol!!! dead. . . the absolute worst. . . now we are BOTH layin on the floor because u threw out your goddamn back lol

18 05 2008
Shine

Sorry meant to write he was shocked that I was NOT taller than him. For 3 years he thought I was taller than him when he had me by an 1.5″

18 05 2008
rai

but on the same note. . . I feel weird with big ole muscular tall dudes. . . because now we are just walkin around lookin like two big ole muthafawkas. . . lol tallest, biggest, strongest people there and shyt lol

18 05 2008
rai

lol true. . . well that comes as a nice surprise. . . I always start out barefoot or in flip flops, so if they aren’t towering over me right then and there, i already KNOW he’s a little one lol

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Rai-You want a real alpha male, eh? LOL. I am not so rigid about that, but I would like a guy to hold down some of the tradtional male tasks for me (such as helping me move furniture, picking up a dead mouse with no complaint even if I call him at 2AM to do it and just being generally resourceful when it comes to fixing things, or at least willing to try). I offer a lot of the “traditional” girly things to the mix in return ( I cook, I’d gladly straighten up a guys place and wash his dishes if he’d like, I am a nurturer in general) without the stereotypical crap (I can need a man without being needy, I don’t mind sitting in silence and not talking, I don’t like “where is this thing going” discussions, nor do I need to constantly ask a guy how he is feeling). But I don’t trip over stuff like a guy not knowing how to change a tire, cause I have been driving for three years and I haven’t bothered to learn myself, lol. But if he used more grooming products than I and wouldnt be willing to slay a dragon or kill a mouse for me…I’d put him in the bitchassed box and send him packing! LOL.

Shine- I think most of the guys I have met since I moved to NYC have been over 6’0, thank God (or not really, b/c they still didn’t make me happy!). I think in DC it was a mixture of tall men and men who were maybe an inch taller than I. Maybe? I dunno, I have forgotten a lot of my former fellas, for good reason LOL.

18 05 2008
Shine

but on the same note. . . I feel weird with big ole muscular tall dudes. . . because now we are just walkin around lookin like two big ole muthafawkas. . . lol tallest, biggest, strongest people there and shyt lol

Girl, you got me rolling on the fucking floor. I feel like that walking around with my little brother now, hes about my height but this bigass football playing fool is like a 52″ in the chest. We can’t go through a double door together and we fill every hallway.

Also you gotta watch the little ones. They like being little so they can stare at your boobs all day without having to strain their neck.

18 05 2008
Shine

I just never understood why they were so excited that I could look them in the eye. Top 3 comments made all the time 1) I like your style (losers say this for reasons I don’t understand, I don’t even talk to brothers who say this anymore. game over) 2) I like that your as tall as me. 3) Your skin is soft (why thank you, thats what lotion does, try some sometime you ashy bastard, dusting up my hallway. Nah I appreciate this compliment, and I like to be smooth and soft. But brothas, lotion and chapstick are your friends. Please take note)

18 05 2008
rai

lol!!! ya’ll are simple. . . I guess I do like alpha males. . . lol like my daddy is borderline perfect. . . as gross as that sounds. . . he is like 6’4”. . . only tv he watches is the news, sports (he even watched that big horse racing shyt yesterday lol), and law & order (old school joint, not even SVU lol). . . yesterday, i said “Daddy the brakes on your truck are bad” he responds, “well I guess I will have to just jump out faster then” lol I had the STUCKEST face lol. and I enjoy cooking and cleaning. . . but only if ole boy is doing what he is supposed to do. . . and I might actually be a man, I don’t know HOW many times I have gotten in trouble for not “showin my feelings”, telling him “that he makes me happy”. . . kinda like come on man, as long as u make my right thigh shake twice a week & light a match when u stink up my bathroom, we are good & i am happy lol

18 05 2008
rai

lol!!!@ dustin up the hallway. . . made me cry. lol stupid!!! and I have heard your skin is so soft NUMEROUS TIMES. . . or your face is really smooth and they then proceed to touch it. . . whoa whoa whoa buddy, first off the only people that touch my face are me, my man, and my dentist. . . do not fawkin TOUCH ME! lol how is my skin goin to stay smooth if random and the germs they came with keep touchin me. . . and the ex used to go on and on about how the skin on my titties was smooth. . . it was flattereing but weird as the same time. . . how can skin that is almost ALWAYS covered by clothes be anything OTHER than soft. . . who is out here with the scaly cracked hard titties that have men so excited about smooth skin? lol

18 05 2008
Shine

Hmm well there is the thing of being a big girl, tough, hair that can look short when it curls, and love of jeans that can make you want a big ole alpha male nearby to make you feel feminine. I know when I had my fake dreads in and when I’m in a dress/skirt I think about how I look amongst the men I’m around less. But I’m not that big a fan of dresses and those damn fake dreads were difficult as fuck to get out and plainly I like like enough ‘masculine’ things that when I want a man who’s more masculine than me by enough to count, he’s going to have to be somewhere close to alpha male. At least by attempt. I assume all men can change a tire, carve a chicken, barbecue and trim hedges. Which is why I don’t need to learn those things. Even if he can’t do that I want him to lie and attempt to do those things. You get an A for effort. And damnit I can cook up a storm, and I’ll buy your socks and underwear so I got some of my traditional on. I probably can’t stitch nothing you rip but I’ll lie and try.

18 05 2008
Shine

LOL I don’t know about scaly cracked hard titties but I did see this white girl once showing off too much titty and the shit was pimply and textured like an orange. And she was only about 20-21. Nasty. Mebbe these men have been with ole’ pimpletits.
Yea I get that too, My man is always the one asking me what I’m thinking about, how I feel, did I like it, what do I like about him. I like it when you’re quiet negro, you heard me scream, i’m getting annoyed and I wasn’t, can I have a moment damn. You’ll hear me when I complain, otherwise I’m good. I’m sorry I don’t take compliments well so I always get a bit thrown when we’re having a good conversation and man is like “I like your [insert weird random body part that you didn’t think he was even noticing]”

the only thing worse than random touching of my hair, is touching my face. You have to have some set up for that and even then, I’m probably not going to like it/approve your request. But my current interest does it well with the touching so I was very surprised I could get down with it. I’m not normally a handholder or anything like that, but its ok with him.

18 05 2008
Sister Toldja

DEAD at ” two big ole muthafawkas”! DEAD. I’m just barely a member of the “big girl club”, I’ve been busting my arse to quit and I could probably hand in my membership card sooner if I weren’t so damn tall. I’m not thin yet, but I got these big old boobs and all this height, so I feel like an accidental gladiator or some shit. That said, I have dated slim and average guys from average to tall, as well as meatier fellas. I rather someone be bigger and taller than me, because I don’t want to feel like some one’s mom and being much bigger or taller than my man would compromise my comfort. You are the man, you are supposed to be taller and I am supposed to smell sweeter. I don’t care if we look like giants together. Good, be afraid of us then! He-Man and She-Ra up in this bitch! I don’t like “big” men though. Big like chubby. I am supposed to be the one with the breasts and the soft flesh! By no means am I saying that a man has be be chisled or an Adonis ( I don’t even covet that really), but as I put in the greuling nights at the gym making sure I don’t have diabeetus or have three chins when I get older, then I would appreciate a fella who took pride and effort in his body.

Seriously, I am not sucking big old man titties.

18 05 2008
rai

ewwww@ man titties. dead @ diabeetus

31 05 2008
Token White Guy

Why you so bitter…. oh wait… yeah, I think I’d have to agree with your reasons.

20 06 2008
Jennifer Tucker

Hey, I talk “white”….click my link to find my color. But I’m a mutt. I feel your pain in being employable to white people. We’ll save the racial breakdown for later.

24 06 2008
Itsnicetomeetu

I just came across your website about 5 days ago. I really do understand your frustrations on so many levels and I’m glad you’ve found a great way to let off some steam. I only have a couple of black friends (neither of which live in my city) and lots of wonderful supportive friends of every other race, but sometimes you just can’t say it all.

As someone who has been deemed unapproachable because I was raised with two cultures, speak like “a white girl,” don’t have enough black friends, enjoy “non-black” activities, and am an engineer, I assumed in some alternate universe me might be a match made in heaven. Unfortunately I have straight hair (but I never run from the rain or get angry if someone throws me in a pool) and am (gasp) slightly (and I seriously mean slightly) overweight. I’ve read your opinions on both. So I’m sure you’d look at me eating a burger and throwing my hair over my shoulder the same way a group of bitter black women would look at you in a dance club. I wish you the best of luck finding happiness…although the way this blog reads I don’t see it happening anytime soon. You have practically crushed everyone in your quest to feel better – a quality, I’m sure, no worthy girl would find desirable in a mate.

13 08 2008
Siobhan

A friend of mine mentioned your site to me a month or so ago. While sitting at my desk waiting to be relieved for dinner I decided to drop by today.

Your site is adorable…and funny. I know guys find adorable insulting but hey it is. I have been laughing insanely…everyone in my section is curious but since they all think I’m a crazy future socialist dictator already I’m not sharing.

I am saddened that your blog is ending in it’s current form as entertaining (unblocked) media is hard to come by (and I NEED some entertainment out here..war is hell…and then it’s boring with occasional moments of adrenline pumping violence)

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

19 03 2009
iris

Its funny.

I’m biracial and have “chinky” (I get asked if I’m part japanese a lot) I have uber nappy hair, super high cheek bones (thatihate). I think I look awkward. Anywho..

I have always been attracted to light skinned black men and white guys ONLY. Dunno why. The only men that are attracted to me are super white and nerdy. Black people tend to dislike me and my “white ways”. I talk “white” I listen to rock music, I dress “white” etc..

Even the black side of my family totally rejects me(father included). It hurts sometimes. Especially, since some people on my moms side hate all black people exepct me. Its awkward. I do wish I was more excepted by black people, but I can’t force them to like me. So I sit here with my white and nerdy husband and our beautiful 1/4 black son, eating our cheese sandwichs and drinkin’ tea..wondering why black people hate my whiteness…

Heh

3 04 2009
question

so is it safe to assume you won’t be making any blogs about indians?

19 08 2009
Stephanie

I too am a Black Woman and find you very attractive and intelligent. I’d totally date you too! LOL! What the hell is wrong with the black girls in your area??? LOL!

Don’t give up on us! 😉

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