I received the following comment in the ‘Why You Shouldn’t Read This Blog’ page today:
I suppose it goes without saying that everyone is, by now, familiar with the following image:
Figure 1: Get over it
It appears that damn near everyone in the country is upset about this cover except me and the The New Yorker’s Editor (and, of course, whoever drew the damn thing). In fact, when I first saw the cover, I laughed so hard I damn near crapped my pants.
First of all, the fucking thing is clearly over-the-top political satire. Anyone that’s ever read The New Yorker, or even heard of it for that matter, is familiar with the fact that the magazine is CONSTANTLY printing controversial political cartoons designed to make people challenge their own perceptions. This naturally leads self-important reactionary left-wing douchebags (and so-called Educated Black People) to make pompous statements like the following:
“Yea it’s satire, and I know WE [pompous liberal yuppie douches] get it, but I don’t think the ‘others’ in America will.”
This shit enrages me for two sets of reasons:
- Generally speaking, pompous liberal yuppie douches are NOT that intelligent – and yes, I draw SHARP distinctions between intelligence and education
- The vast majority of Americans DO NOT read The New Yorker
- Liberal douches are aware that most Americans DO NOT read The New Yorker
- If liberal douches think the cartoon would damage Obama’s image if it were exposed to the masses…why are they making such a fuss about it and shoving it into the national spotlight? SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!
- The outrage displayed is, therefore, a disingenuous mechanism for gathering props from/getting laid by other liberal yuppie douches who find logically vacuous righteous indignation super fucking sexy
- The vast majority of Americans fall into one of two camps: those who like Obama, and those who do not
- The Americans that like Obama see the cartoon for what it is – a round lampooning of the ridiculous statements concerning Obama’s patriotism, heritage, religion, and ambitions made by…
- The Americans that do not like Obama. The effects of this cartoon on them will at worst reinforce internalized notions about Obama that nobody was about to change anyway, and at best (and far more likely) force them to realize just how RIDICULOUS their opinions are
People need to pipe the fuck down with the kneejerk self-righteous self-aggrandizing false outrage already. Obama has way bigger problems that a magazine whose cartoon, while controversial, will do nothing but help his chances.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Comments : 559 Comments »
Tags: The New Yorker
Categories : Asides, Politics
The things I’ve witnessed over the past 10 days or so, especially tonight, have truly led me to understand why black women remain the most unmarried demographic of females in the entire fucking country. I can’t wait for Bill Cosby to write a followup to his original book “Come On, Ladies – Get The Fuck Out Of Your Own Way.”
Jesus fucking goddamn Christ…I did not think it was physically possible for me to be this pissed off.
Figure 1: I’ve never liked the man…but suddenly I think we understand one another
Editor’s Note: So I don’t have to hear anymore dumbasses waxing retarded about my alleged hatred of black women, I’m posting a followup comment I made several days ago to the front page of this post. To the other dumbasses who think this post was the result of me being rejected by a black woman, you are wrong. Sorry. If you read this comment and still think I hate black women, feel free to kill yourself.
Comments : 457 Comments »
Categories : Asides
I received the following email today:
I would first like to say that I absolutely love your blog! It is funny, real, honest, intellectual and quite the refreshing read after a long day’s work.
Having said that, I do have a suggestion for you. I think your blog should continue as “stuff black people hate” instead of your personal dating site. I do not know about the other women who read your blog, but I am completely aware that the FAQ’s ‘are you single/available’ and ‘do you date women who aren’t black’ are ploys to get you a hot black woman in the dc area. I am not mad at your attempt to find companionship; however, I do think it takes away from the blog.
I’m really not trying to bust your balls; I just thought you should know!
Thank you for the tireless energy that you focus towards the blog and please keep up the great work!!”
Given the not-at-all-veiled backhandedness of this email, I spent about ten minutes trying to figure out if Hillary Clinton wrote it. After all, Mrs. Clinton has a tendency to believe that coating an ‘eat-shit’ fish sammich with honey somehow makes it go down easier, which is true…but only with stupid fucking people from rural Ohio and Pennsylvania.
Figure 1: Thanks for ruining this delicious sandwich for me, asshole
After awhile I realized that Hillary Clinton probably doesn’t care very much about me, so I took the email for what it was: the electronic musings of someone who read the Cliff’s Notes for a Dale Carnegie book and got it all the fuck wrong. Since this reader failed to win me over as a friend or influence me to tear down my FAQ section or whatever the hell she wanted me to do*, and since she’s probably not the only person with these sentiments, and since I’m bored for once, I’ll simply rip apart each sentence of her second paragraph as I sit here on the toilet with the door open so I can hear Family Guy in the next room:
1.) Having said that, I do have a suggestion for you.
I don’t care. Seriously. If I listened to the suggestions of every person with half an opinion that emailed me, the following would have happened by now:
- I would have stopped writing this blog because “Beyonce might see it and find it seriously offensive” [from an email in mid-March]
- I would have written dozens of posts about mayonnaise [countless emails and comments]
- I would be at the head of a movement to convince black people to move back to Africa [oddly enough, this idea was posed to me by both a black supremacist and a white supremacist ON THE SAME DAY]
No fucking thanks. I will continue to take suggestions only from the thoughts that pop into my head when I encounter someone (like you) or something (like your email) is so saturated with unfounded horseshit that I’m forced into the bathroom to get it out of my system.
2.) I think your blog should continue as “stuff black people hate” instead of your personal dating site.
This might be a valid comment if I had ever, in the 3 or so months this site has been up, so much as indirectly attempted in any way to date anyone that’s contacted me about this site. Since that isn’t the case, I suppose that renders you guilty of 1st degree aggravated falsely-presumptive jackassery. I think you get the chair for that in Texas.
3.) I do not know about the other women who read your blog, but I am completely aware that the FAQ’s ‘are you single/available’ and ‘do you date women who aren’t black’ are ploys to get you a hot black woman in the dc area.
Wow Negrodamus, you see ALL! I shouldn’t be angry at you though, because woman-law mandates that you draw outlandish conclusions from a man’s simple statements of fact. My FAQ section was written for practical purposes: to answer frequently asked questions. To address the two FAQs you mentioned specifically, the idea was to reduce the number of emails I got asking me if I was single [209 of these] and if I dated non-black women [59 of these]. After I posted the FAQ, these emails slowed significantly. Smart people call it ‘Problem Solving’.
As for a so-called ‘ploy’ to attract hot black women…no. I am decently paid, well educated, cultured, kind of a jerk, and I can even be witty from time to time – so I have neither the time nor the need to devise scams to attract the opposite sex. I do just fine being myself, thank you.
4.) I am not mad at your attempt to find companionship; however, I do think it takes away from the blog.
I am not mad at you for emailing me with your inane suggestions based on incorrect assumptions; however, I do think it’s taking away from the satisfaction of the dump I’m taking right…[strain]…now.
*Unless her goal was to get me to write about her email; in which case, I can’t win em all dammit.
Comments : 167 Comments »
Categories : Asides
I am seriously beginning to hope that terrible things happen to this fucking woman.
Comments : 232 Comments »
Categories : Asides