Clinton Supporters

27 08 2008

I was about to pull into the parking garage near my office when NPR, which never fails to enrage me at least once a day, featured a report from the floor of the DNC. The report focused on Hillary Clinton’s supporters – specifically those who are refusing to support Barack Obama in spite of the following facts:

  • Obama won the nomination
  • Hillary Clinton is urging all her supporters to back Obama
  • The supporters are lifelong Democrats who have NEVER voted Republican or sat out an election
  • Everyone from Obama, to Clinton, to the DNC is urging party unity
  • John McCain will kill us all

Nearly everyone still supporting Clinton has two of three traits in common. First, they are middle aged white women. Seriously. Damn near all of them. Not only are they all middle aged white women, but they all look the same: short Hillary-style hairdo, moderately to severely overweight, pants suit of some sort, fucking goddamn pins and other pieces of feminist and pro-Hillary flair all over their clothing.

Figure 1: Hillary Clinton Supporter

Secondly, Hillary supporters fall into one of two categories: 1.) those who say they will vote for Obama if he’s willing to blow a requisite amount of sunshine up their asses (e.g. supporting roll call votes, etc.), and 2.) those who simply will not vote for Obama at all, despite Clinton and Obama supporting nearly identical policy proposals, and are in effect taking their balls (yea, that’s right) and going home. Both of these camps are insanely idiotic.

It’s interesting to know that women, who are supposed to be the fairer and more emotionally grounded sex, are willing to fuck over the whole entire country because their candidate didn’t win. They seriously think that if they skip the general election out of spite, then 4 – 8 more years of John McBush will somehow be Barack Obama’s fault instead of their own. I imagine these same women refuse to feed their infants and, when they die of starvation, they shrug their shoulders and tell the jury “hey…that nigga shoulda hit up a Hunan or somethin’.”

My favorite quote from these women comes in the following form:

“I’m a lifelong democrat. I’ve never voted non-Democrat in 40 years, and I’ve never sat out an election. But this time…I don’t know…I just don’t know.”

As a black person, it’s tempting to substitute “I don’t know” with “I hate niggers”, but I think this lets them off a little too easy. People who are racist are taught to be that way by their parents and by the media when they are still young, impressionable, and not responsible for what they are exposed to. Crying racism makes it too easy to shift blame to previous generations or abstract conceptions of “The Man”, and racism is a charge that’s way too easy for these women to deny (“my son has a colored friend!”).

Instead, I like to chalk up their reluctance to plain old fucking immaturity. It’s far more insulting to be called a child than a racist. They didn’t get what they wanted, so now they’re crying their figurative eyes out like a toddler that just spent a week in a sex offenders’ prison.

Figure 2: Hillary Clinton supporter

“My candidate didn’t win. Boo hoo. Now I’m gonna let the world burn and tell everybody ‘I told ya so!'” This is, of course, all the more infuriating because Obama’s black supporters on the whole would have never adopted a passive aggressive stance like this if Clinton won. Sure we’d be pissed, but we wouldn’t cut off our nose to spite our face. This is proven by the fact that black people didn’t stay home during the general election after Jesse Jackson (who was still respected in 1988) didn’t win the nomination 20 years ago.

Clinton supporters (middle-aged white ones in particular), however, are showing just how selfish they really are. They are willing to risk keeping the party divided at the start of one of the most crucial Presidential elections in modern history…just because their candidate didn’t win. Some are even willing to attempt to subvert Obama’s nomination by turning a roll call vote into an official vote, which they know damn well would tear the Democratic Party to SHREDS and ensure Republican rule for the next century. That’s right, people: these broads want feminism to prevail EVEN IF IT MEANS THE END OF THE WORLD.

Figure 3: Hillary Clinton Supporter

I’ll leave everyone with the following gem:

Have a nice day.