To My Readers: The Final Three

26 08 2008

All,

Only three posts left (tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday) till we say goodbye. There will also be an official ‘farewell’ post on Sunday the 31st which will also include the name of the book.

If you haven’t already, register on the Facebook group for updates about book’s release: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=17135349852

Till then, use headphones to enjoy the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGAvd1K48A4

-Chris

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351 responses

26 08 2008
www.anythingblack.net

its been a good run 🙂

26 08 2008
Jen

This fool said eating pussy came from ancient Africa.

26 08 2008
Defiant

Jen ain’t nothing wrong with that, first humans, first to come up with the multiple ways to please a woman:)

26 08 2008
Deesigner

I’m going to run that its good for you game all the time now….got a headache? I have sumthin’ fo’ ya.

26 08 2008
puff

he had me at “the best way to eat some pussy….” more importantly, i’m furious at the posters of nefertiti and her crew in the back. wtf?

@ jen – well, african men do love to eat some…. so i hear.

26 08 2008
puff

more importantly, who the hell allows that dude’s mouth near the vag? shit looks like a butthole with a fringe… i’m just saying.

26 08 2008
JG*

Sadness. Can’t listen to it. I don’t have my headphones. And dude was too creepy looking to just stare at.

26 08 2008
Jen

Old ladies whose favorite books were all purchased from a collapsible table in Harlem, I guess.

26 08 2008
B4Prez

That’s someone’s son….
and father…..

26 08 2008
Edumucated

This is part of a bio about the guy in the Youtube video. “Any Bobby Hemmitt lecture will blow your socks off with powerful information! Be prepared!” lol

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

OMG…it happened so fast…i just started reading this blog like a month ago but it only took me two [work] days to read through every post you have written….

Chris, would you be offended if some of the SBPH reglas wrote posts under the facebook group, like maybe an unofficial ONE each day by a different blogger?
Not tryna step on your toes, Mr Hollywood:)

Meanwhile, in honor of you for making my boring [paid] internship go so much faster, here are things I hate:
Thick White Girls
White Men who “Holla” at Black Women cuz they want somethin “exotic”
White Women who act like they don’t know what a weave is
Eggs
Black Guilt (afraid to act ignant in front of the 2520s)
Ridiculous Nail Designs
People who think cuz they speak in a foreign language that they can speak that shit loud as hell in public!
John McCain
Hilary Clinton
Jesse Jackson
Al Sharpton
Overrated Black Actors and Actresses

26 08 2008
Amadeo

PUssy juice is Medicinal?

I should be a healthy ass dude then.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Which blog will we move onto, so I know where I can go to pass the time instead of actually doing the work I get paid so well to do.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Facebook is blocked on my work computer. I’m deeply saddened by this whole three more posts shit.

Ed, tell me where you’re going so I can follow you. After all, you is having my bayybayy.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I stopped enjoying eating pussy when girls started hearing I was really good at it. All of a sudden every girl wanted her coochie licked with no repercussions. I need to get mine too.

26 08 2008
LEO

@8th. Facebook is blocked at my job too. Very sad!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Grizzly Adams between her legs!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ladies Bobby says you need to figure it out so the man can do his fucking job.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I don’t know many other blogs where I can talk about food, sex, and 2520s without feeling guilty or causing problems. 8th, this may take some thought.

26 08 2008
JG*

My boss left for some meetings… I’m dying over here listening to this.

I love the dramatic pauses.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

This mufucka said chemicals, stones. and elixirs come down in the vaginal fluid.

sigh.

26 08 2008
Jen

HAAAAAAAAAAAA…Edumacated got passed around.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Feel free to come to my blog…and donate to my paypal (someone else typed that in).

The jewel is hidden in the forest…expose the jewel ladies. Someone should hook him and Ms. Tyler up…THAT might be an interesting show.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Edumacated:
Don’t Hide it Divide it!
LMAO…Jen he was passed around the yard!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I don’t know why you are all complaining about having Facebook blocked at work. In my office we have to sign a contract when we are hired that says we will not use any social networking sites (facebook, myspace, linkedin) or any other website which may allow people to obtain information on employees for the duration of our employment. We are a high profile law firm, but I still don’t really see the harm in having a Facebook account.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I personally cringe when men talk about giving cunnilingous(sp?)please, like your bathroom behavior, keep it private….gross…this blog has made me realize how much of a racist, immature prude I can be…thanks guys!

26 08 2008
Tabitha

So… I JUST started reading this blog yesterday, went through all of the posts ‘cuz I had the day off, and now it’s gonna be gone. Awesome. Just awesome. As in not. Damnit.

re: youtube post: what the hell is up with those background photos? Are those, like, chicks who had good pussy through the ages? Y’know, this guy is a lazy fat bastard. Can’t even take the effort to push the hair out of the way. Lazy, lazy fucktard. And unappreciative of irony: he’s got hair in the way, too. Would he shave that ‘stache in the interest of reciprocity?
…Damnit, now I’m imagining him actually licking… ewwwww. Damnewwww Aw, man.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess and Jen:

Oh hell no, I was asked but never passed.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Edumacted

My job made me sign one that said I wouldn’t steal any programs. If it helps I didn’t originally plan to. You know how it is, you get a new computer and it just has the Wordpad bullshit on it…

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Yeah, I didnt even ask. Matter of fact, this may not even be my damn baby!

I want a maternity test!

26 08 2008
Jen

@Amadeo – our girl is much too good for this buffoon!!

@Tabitha – he isn’t lazy. He says he’ll shave it himself with his own personal clippers. That’s class. Pure class.

26 08 2008
JG*

Sidenote. I just got done watching Michelle Obama’s Speech again, and Senator Kennedy’s. I was reading peoples responses to them both. What say you guys?

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Hey the mustache could be part of his routine…you know how hair can tickle.

26 08 2008
stuffgirlslike

Chris You are going no where, By next Friday there will be a new post.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

26 08 2008
JG*

Michelle’s Speech made me cry, I’m just a baby like that though and I love me some Black Love.

Senator Kennedy’s speech was a surprise to me as he seems to be doing much better and that’s cool. I have to articulate my feelings a little bit better before I go rambling about all of my thoughts.

26 08 2008
Jay_Everyday

Final three? So what happens when you’re enraged by something else?

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th:

I heard that Shawty Putt song the other day “Dat baby don’t look like me”. I am a strong defender of hip-hop, even the snap hop of the south but I heard that song and all that came out of my mouth was WHAT THE FUCK? Did this nigga really just make a song about how it isn’t his baby because it doesn’t look like him?

JG:

If Michelle Obama wasn’t married I would wife her. She is perfect.

26 08 2008

won’t you miss us?

26 08 2008
Jen

lol @ how Michelle had to say she loved the country in her speech.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Is it just me or are the Obamas one of the few political couples that actually act like they are married and like each other?

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

LMAO @ Ed.

Is that what I’ma be singing in 9 months? I see you didnt answer the question about if its mine or not. Either way, tappin that ass was great, thanks a lot.

Ahh, role reversal is refreshing.

Really though, who the hell is Shawty Putt? Really…sounds like another “Its So Cold In the D” artist.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Amadeo,

No, its not just you. I’m crossing my fingers that it isnt an act, because they have been a true inspiration when it comes to Black Love….love in general, really.

26 08 2008
riz

That vid is one nasty nasty man. I wouldn’t let him close to my pussy if he paid me good money. Gross.

Plus, ladies, NEVER SHAVE YOUR ‘NANI. It can lead to all kinds of razor burn, bumps and unpleasantries. Please, please just get it waxed. It stays silky smooth for a longer period of time and leads to less stubble and general hair growth in the area. Supplement with Tend Skin about twice a week, after you shower, for potential ingrowns.

And I don’t care what that fat nasty nig-nog says: it’s okay to leave a small landing strip, if you’d like. It’s cool if you don’t want the prepubescent, child molested, no-hair-down-there-look.

My lady here does eyebrows, underarms and a Brazilian for $50!

26 08 2008
riz

Yeah, the Obamas do make me actually want to get married one day. They are a beautiful family, especially when put side by side with pill-poppin McCain

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Why do the men think Michelle Obama is perfect?

just curious…

26 08 2008
Jen

Michelle is well-educated, outspoken, well put together, loving, culturally aware and just altogether aspirational.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Jess

I think its because she is really, truly, 100% down for her man. Even though she is super intelligent and really doesn’t necessarily “need” Obama for anything, she still values him and respects and supports him. In my opinion, that is what most men are looking for in a partner.

26 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ Edumucated

OMG…that is hilarious. If you got it like that brother than you SHOULD be able to get yours. I personally have an issue with stopping at just foreplay.

JG…yeah I was watching that speech…get it Michelle. That was an excellent speech.

The ending with the girls, Michelle, and Barack on the video conference had me like *DAMN* it’s might be time to give up the bachelorette sooner rather than later. I was aiming for 28/29/30 but really I that family is awesome.

I quite enjoyed Ted Kennedy’s too.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

26 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

Pardon the missing words and horrid grammer…I haven’t gone to sleep in a few days…

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

26 08 2008
riz

Michelle can also be as perfect as she is because she has her man’s support. No, she doesn’t *need* him, but relationships based on superficial “needs” end up with aforementioned pill-poppers.

Together, both Michelle and Barack make eachother better, stronger, more savvy. He is really, truly, 100% down for her, as well. That’s what allows her to shine. I mean… he LIKES it when she shines! When he met her, she was his SUPERIOR!! And now, after all these years, he had her do a speech because he is that proud of her, and wants to show her talents to the world.

Like I’ve always said, more women would be Ladies, if we had more Gentlemen around… And vice versa, too! If we respect the right man, we will have a gentleman in return.

26 08 2008
Deesigner

I loved the way the girls instinctively raced toward the screen when they saw their daddy. You cannot fake that kind of love.
I think that Michelle held her own last night. she came across as warm, gracious, poised, loyal and real. To be honest, she reminds me of most of the educated black women that I know.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th: It is your bayyybayyy.

Jess: Michelle is perfect because she is beautiful, smart, eloquent, a ride or die chick, she can hold her own and hold you down. Everything about her is legit.

26 08 2008
overit

Amadeo, its not just you. Sometimes I feel I’m more invested in their relationship than his presidency lol. They are all too cute, the daughters too. That older one looks like she dont play either.

26 08 2008
Jen

To be honest, she reminds me of most of the educated black women that I know.

So true.

26 08 2008
overit

and chris, i know i’m gonna be fine, i’m a survivor (hear destinys child) but what are you doing to the readers who have abandonment issues huh? are you ready to set people’s therapy back 5 years?!

and its not farewell…its see you later..sniff sniff……

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I heard that the Obama marriage will have a good effect on Black men in America…like how for decades it was that underlying belief imbedded in us that successful black men always date outside of the community, maybe because they believed that Black women weren’t up to par once they hit a certain level of success and may try to bring them down (some bullshit)…now the Obamas show how important a strong Black woman can be either standing behind her husband, supporting his dreams, and also in front, leading him cuz we all know niggas can get distracted-lol:)

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess:

He just lets her lead so he can look at her fatty. lol

26 08 2008
puff

@ riz- your lady doesn’t happen to live in nyc does she?

when i get grown, i want to be just like michelle. her and obama, they aii too (i got obama love, it’s just that i can’t vote in the states).

26 08 2008
riz

I’m pretty sure that Republicans (and Hillary’s) goal is to catch him in a sex scandal. I think they’ll be sending in “interns” right and left.

26 08 2008
puff

@ edu – lmao now that whole set-up makes a lot of sense

26 08 2008
Mayo is DEFINATELY disgusting!

“She had enough hair to knit four goddamn mothafuckin’ blankets…”

LMMFBAO!!!!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Riz

How bout a cultural trim…a landing strip dyed red on one side and green on the other?

Michelle Obama has Angela Basset status…educated, well put together, classy, good looking and she looks like she can keep kids in check with a single side eye. The bonus is she’s strong but she doesn’t over shadow Barack…she compliments him.

26 08 2008
riz

@ Puff: Sorry, friend. She’s in LA. But I’m sure there are some in NYC, too! But waxing is the only beauty regimen where I actually prefer non-Blacks. My girl is Eastern European. She’s from a hairy culture, so I’m an easy job for her and get charged less. Indian women also know what’s up.

26 08 2008
riz

@Amadeo: :LMBAO!! Perhaps a landing strip in cornrows– well ONE cornrow?

26 08 2008
puff

@ amadeo bwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha or use a stencil to get a black fist in the middle

@ riz – le sigh. i had the name of a good one somewhere but i forgot…. i’m just concerned after muse’s vaginal bleeding incident, i could do without scars for life there.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

For Ed:

‘I ain’t buying no car seat, and I aint finna take care of no freeeeeak.”

Courtesy of Shawty Putt.

26 08 2008
Vanita

I stopped enjoying eating pussy when girls started hearing I was really good at it. All of a sudden every girl wanted her coochie licked with no repercussions. I need to get mine too.

Whats wrong with that??

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Vanita: I love the way Edumacated spelled “repercussions” lmao

26 08 2008
riz

@ puff: What incident???? Link?

I mean, yeah, a bad bikini wax is traumatic. I’ve had one or two during the years that have made me walk bowlegged for a day or so. Not cute.

But get recommendations. Don’t go to Back Alley Betty or some lady who does not speak English. Also, shower before hand or use Tend Skin BEFORE the wax. It will exfoliate the skin a bit and loosen the hair follicle.

A friend of mine would also recommend a shot of vodka before a wax.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th:

That song hurts my heart and soul. I am considering suing him for defamation of the entire black race. I think I have a case.

Vanita:

There is nothing wrong with leaving a woman satisfied, but when most black women have an issue with giving head, if I am going to spend a few hours blessing you, I need more than a handjob which I could do myself.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

a few HOURS?

umm….we need to talk.

26 08 2008
riz

LOL at “defamation of the entire black race!”

I think you DO have a case.

My vote is to prosecute every person affiliated with “It’s so cold in the D.”

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Uh oh….the sex talk is about to come up…

CURIOUS: what time is it where you guys are?

11:17am in the Mil

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess:

What is wrong with the way I spell repercussions?

26 08 2008
JG*

Right on time for lunch! *yippie!*

26 08 2008
Vanita

Yea, i hate how most black women have a problem with giving head. I know someone who does it ANNUALLY, and this year she dont wanna do it. WTF??? Could you imagine gettin head ANNUALLY?!?! Fuck that.
Head is like respect: you gotta give it to get it.
NAHMEAN?!?!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th:

Yes a few hours, but most women can’t handle more than an hour because of sensory overload. It is a gift and a curse.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

LMAO @ “…..and this year she dont wanna do it.”

I can’t.

Jess, its 12:23 here in DC

26 08 2008
Vanita

if I am going to spend a few hours blessing you,
whaaaa…..
Dont be talkin shit on the blog u cant back up.

26 08 2008
Jen

I don’t think I would even want a few hours of head.

I want to come and fall asleep contemplating the wonders he has done.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Edumacated: Cuz I always spell it reprecautions…lmao…i don’t know what’s what anymore!

*******TRUE STORY GUYS:
Another poster on here saw that i was from the same city as she was and also my Gov’ment name on the facebook group, she added me as a friend, saw my status about RIP uncle Bob and asked me about it…turns out that she has a uncle Bob that passed recently too and we facebook chatted and found that we are cuzins and grew up down the street from each other but never met! Chris you are bringing families together:)

26 08 2008
puff

“Head is like respect: you gotta give it to get it.”

preach. or as i like to say, “when you’re good to puff, puff is good to you”

in the context of the video, that sounds a lil fucked up, but never mind.

@ riz – i can’t remember which post that discussion came up in! but the shit sounded traumatic.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Vanita: I completely agree that what goes around comes around.

and I can definitely back it up, but like I said, most women after a few orgasms just can’t really handle the stimulation anymore.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

and Jess: It is definitely spelled repercussions. lol

26 08 2008
true2me

can I just search for the blog title in facebook to find you there..cause Im blocked from facebook here at work also..tell me how to find you there..TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME…THIS IS LIKE CRACK TO ME…o..sorry

yeah just tell me…much thanks

True

26 08 2008
puff

@ jen – i know right? i’d probably be numb or asleep by then…

i hate that just as i typed that, david banner’s “play” just popped up on my shuffle *hiding in shame*

26 08 2008
riz

Yeah, orgasms need to be spread out, dispersed when playing the oral game. I have to push Dude’s head away after the first O. Too sensitive….But after some time, I’m ready to roll again.

26 08 2008
B4Prez

Annual head? WTF??? I guess she gets annual dates then.

26 08 2008
true2me

how did this turn into pussy eating head giving 101 (not that I mind)

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

OMG @ Puff

That song…I cant even listen to it. Thats how hot David Banner (the old, slightly chunky David, not this streamlined negro now) makes me.

Umm umm umm.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ True

we could be talking about taxes or Peter Pan…it will always come back to sex.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Riz:

My experience has been that most women can handle 2-3 before they are entirely too sensitive and need a break. A few women can do more, some can do less, but I usually find that 2-3 is the general consensus on that.

26 08 2008
Monie

****backs away from fellatio conversation and goes to sit in corner****

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Although it seriously lacks as a censored song. I would suggest reading the lyrics along with it.

26 08 2008
riz

@Edumucated: What time frame are we talking?

I think I maxed at like 5-6 one night. But that was like…you know… over several hours.

And sadly, since I have broken up with the boyf, I have yet to break that record.

sigh.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Monie:

Fellatio is a very important conversation to have. It is a very satisfying experience, but when done wrong it can just really fuck things up. I had a girl who wanted to give me head, but it felt like she was trying to bite my dick off. Ladies please, no teeth.

26 08 2008
Elle

Thanks Chris!

Signed,

JessAKA Rabbitt’s Cousin

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Riz:

When I said 2-3 I am talking about the whole multiple orgasm phenomenon that women are so blessed with. You were saying earlier that after one from oral you usually need a break, and I am saying from my experience a lot of women can handle 2-3 before they are overstimulated and need a break.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

If teeth come anywhere near my good girl, I’m going to jail.

*shudders*

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Hey ELLE!

Nobody is paying attention to our wonderful story cuz they are talking about head! lmao..

Monie: I’m with you…I can’t reads no mo of this debaulchery!

26 08 2008
riz

@Edumacated: Ohhhh. Yeah, no. I gotta pause after everyone. But only for like 5 mins or so. Then we can keep it moving.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Ladies….let the waves hit their shore, we don’t have that luxury you should enjoy it.

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

So it commences… 3 posts to go…

That dude was ick… just ick…. The wall-of-fame behind though was hilarious!

26 08 2008
puff

@ 8th wonder – i know riiiiiiiiiiiiiight? when he does that lil snarl thing with his mouth i lose focus…. damn. that video makes me want to go to the gym right now if only to find a david banner-alike to help me with my “stretches” and shit…

26 08 2008
true2me

8th wonder

it ALWAYS come back to sex ….sex is the root of life…we all should accept it…so i guess my question was kinda dumb

26 08 2008
Edumucated

If I could have multiple orgasms I think I would be a sexaholic like Will Pharrell in Blades of Glory.

26 08 2008
Elle

@ JessAKA

I know. As I was typing the post I was thinking – they’re in another head conversation and they ain’t gone give a damn about our family reunion. lol

26 08 2008
Vanita

MY YOU TUBE ISNT WORKING!!!!
I AM IN CRISIS MODE…wondering if I should call the help desk about this…

26 08 2008
Vanita

No yall family reunion story was very nice.
Can someboyd help me with youtube tho> what can I do by myself to solve the problem?!?! Its tellin me I dont have flash installed, but I dooo…..
😦

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jess and Elle

Sex produces families…so really it’s all one discussion….or something.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Puff…you must be my soul sista.

I would do all kinds of ridiculousness to David Banner.

26 08 2008
Monie

****detects fellatio conversation losing steam*****

How about Michelle Obama and those unbelievably cute kids!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Vanita:

Just reinstall flash?

26 08 2008
Vanita

I CANT REINSTALL IT!! THIS IS THE GOV’MENT COMPUTER!!! Im just gonna call the help desk and hope my homeboy answers…

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Monie

Hmmm, I wonder if the Obamas prefer to go shaven for their extra-curriculars?

26 08 2008
Monie

lmaoooooooooooooo@calling helpdesk at work to view a youtube video!

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

8th and Puff, y’all might want to fight me off of David Banner first…

I even like that ridiculous song of his, just because it’s him singing.

*picturing David Banner giving oral*
*fans self*

26 08 2008
riz

Michelle definitely gets a nice bikini wax. Maybe not Brazillian, as she is from a different generation, but she is too much of a lady to have a Bush.

26 08 2008
Monie

@Amadeo

How dare you! Is nothing sacred around here….

Lol!

26 08 2008
Monie

Question for everyone: why do woman in porn films shave themselves bald? Are they trying to look like prepubescent girls? It’s totally weird.

26 08 2008
Tabitha

@Monie:

Thank you for moving the conv. away from the image of the mustachioed ass-face givin’ lady-head. Thank you evah so much. 🙂

26 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

JessiAKA and Elle,

How is it possible to live down the street from your cousin and never meet?

26 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

@ Monie in my state it’s illegal for strippers to have visible pubs. I just always assumed that some porn stars might strip too and go bald for that reason. My state isn’t a porn capital so it’s pretty loose logic.

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Weel, Monie I can promise you that I have never starred in a Porno (well, not that I know of at least) and I shave myself bald.

I like it that way…

(Was that TMI? Oh well, there’s only 3 posts left…)

26 08 2008
Monie

When the Obama girls said by to their dad last night I got a likkle teary. It was soooo cute!

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Ms. Sula

I really didnt need to imagine him doing anything..dammit I hate you for that.

(And if we ever happen to be around him at the same time, I’ll probably shove you into a bush. No hard feelings, though.)

26 08 2008
Monie

@Tabitha

We’re not out of the woods yet…..

26 08 2008
Monie

@ishouldbeworking

So it’s not legal to show hair from down there but it’s legal to show vagina?

26 08 2008
BenAfficial

@Monie-

You have to part the woods in order to reach the jewel

26 08 2008
Monie

Ms. Sula

Don’tcha get all itchy down there?

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ ishouldbeworking

I did. Didn’t know this kid was my cousin til my mother was about to have me beat him up for messing with my younger female cousin. When my grandmother heard what house he lived in she made us wait and got on the phone…when she was done she said…”It’s not a problem…that’s ya’ll cousin.”

Sucks cause I hated that kid.

26 08 2008
chaoticdiva

“If you drink the juices, it will regenerate the soul”

lmfao!!!!!!

26 08 2008
Monie

“How is it possible to live down the street from your cousin and never meet?”

That sounds like the plot to a Lifetime movie of the week…..

26 08 2008
riz

Like I already said, I’m an ardent supporter of a thin landing strip.

That is fcking ridiculous about strippers not being able to show hair. I can’t believe that. Hair keeps you protected and safe. Considering what strippers do for a living, they should get an extra layer.

And porns in the 70s and 80s had lotsa hair. I think the shaved thing is just the new trend in sex.

26 08 2008
blackberry molasses

**leaves the head convo alone for fear of TMI**

just for shits and giggles… a co-worker sent these to me. Thought I would share. I can soooo see McCain’s shady ass actually doing this (the first one).

http://www.borowitzreport.com/
http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6922

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

@Monie…

Not really. I use a specific lotion to avoid ingrown hairs (the #1 reason for itchiness)… and usually, it works fine.

But why does the talk of head disturb you so, my darling?

@8th…. I hear you! 🙂

26 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

@ ms. sula, what kind of lotion… cuz i hate getting ingrown hairs…

26 08 2008
Elle

@ ishouldbeworking

2nd/3rd removed cousins. Also, we grew up a block away from each other but at the risk of yall finding out that I’m waaaay too old to be on this blog, let’s just say I did my growing up a wee bit before JessiAKA.

26 08 2008
Monie

@Ms. Sula

Giving fellatio is not a favored activity, so I try to avoid even the discussion of it.

26 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

The only reason I know that showing the pubs is (or was) illegal is because when I was in school I accompanied a newly outed classmate to Fredricks of Hollywood to by a manthong/ g-string. As he was trying it on the sales girl asked if it was for personal or professional use because he could only use it professionally if he were shaved or waxed and told us about the law. I saw male strippers a few times in college and they were all bare and I’ve since accompanied my boyfriend to female strip clubs and they appear to be bare too. In the female clubs they can only do topless but most of the g-strings were usually only big enough to cover the clitoris.

26 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

@monie…

you don’t like giving head? why? giving head is fun cause its s funny to watch male’s facial expressions change…ha ha ha!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I think porn stars just shave everything off because it allows for more genital visibility.

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

@4m_no_2_dc…

The lotion I use is sold by the brazilian wax shop I go to. I don’t know if you can find it elsewhere.
Here’s a link to what it looks like.

http://www.helenaswax.com/pfb_vanish.php

hth.

26 08 2008
Viagra Pille' Jackson

eating pus@y with no interruptions “like a tv program” or something. LMAO

Also, I didn’t know eating pus@y had medicinal powers and shit!!!! I guess i am gonna have to go down on my lady more often, i probably won’t catch a cold or the flu this winter.

26 08 2008
tp2

hi everyone.

fellatio is good.

26 08 2008
Ms. Sula

lol@tp2

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

ishouldbeworking:

Trust, it’s possible.

ELLE:
You tryna say I’m a young buck?! lol

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Monie:

You said you do not like giving, but do you like receiving? If so, this is not fair on your part.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Ed

While you yapping about porn, have you found us a new blogsite yet? Time is a’running out.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

And also, I brought a negro meal to work. Should I be ‘shamed?

26 08 2008
Monie

@ Edumucated

If reciprocity is required then I can do without…..

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Afternoon SBPH…

I FINALLY have a sec to respond…damn work…making me earn my money and whatnot 🙂

Hey Jess! That was a cute story…and as small as Milw is I’m surprised that y’all didn’t know…u know we know EVERYBODY’S business up here lol

ANd the Michele speech with the kids was so cute…I missed half of it feeding my baby…but I guess that is what Youtube is for…

I didn’t get a chance to watch the youtube clip du jour but I have a question for the fellas: is it normal to not wash your face after servicing a lady? What is that about? My ex does that for me on occasion but when he leaves he does so without washing his face? Now mind u he ain’t dirty he just doesn’t do it…answers please

26 08 2008
puff

@ 8th and sula – damn both of y’all. all my self-control, poise and focus is gone and instead i have david banner’s sexy ass growl in my ear…

imo, the hairless shit is a little disturbing – i mean, this may be because i’ve read lolita and having a coochie as bald as jordan doesn’t quite sit right with me. makes me think of this guy:

basically, landing strip is good, or at least keeping it tidy.

26 08 2008
puff

@ yoruba – i guess he doesn’t want to lose any of the juices/nectar and whatnot. as amadeo said, that shit is regenerating. or maybe it’s some juju shit, you might want to check your boy (i’m just playing).

26 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

😦 should i be banished cause i shave the whole suga bowl? I just have issues making the landing strip even/ not lop-sidded, so i just take all the hair off.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th:

I don’t know any blogs where people talk like they do on here. Anyone else have suggestions?

and what did you bring for lunch?

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Hey Yoruba! Girl…we probably have met too…I’m thinking me and Elle have crossed paths and didn’t know-we will be seeing each at the funeral on Friday.

Did ya’ll hear that Obama personally asked Jennifer Hudson to sing the national anthem before he gives his speech this week?! I can’t wait! I always get emotional hearing her voice especially “changin” on the Dreamgirls soundtrack

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

LMAO@puff…
it’s regenerating huh?

and forgive me for not knowing but what is juju?

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

…Chicken & dumplings….

lol. It was good, too.

Maybe those of us who dont have facebook should make our own damn blog. Just name it after a food and a sexual position and go from there.

Something like Reverse cowgirl Lasanga or Missionary Banana.

I dunno.

26 08 2008
true2me

ill monie…u have a hairy cooch…ilk thats so nasty

26 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

@ yourba queen… i noticed my ex did that too… what’s up with the face wash after the tounge waxin’?

26 08 2008
true2me

non porn stars shave it bald too…..*whistles*

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ yoruba

Even when I’m not leaving I wash my face. It might be medicinal but think of it like a moisturizing mask or something…it’s on for a while then you take it off.

26 08 2008
Monie

@Ed

Also sex talk tends to cause the lurkers to join in…which never turns out well****looks at true2me****

26 08 2008
true2me

riz

what does hair protect your privates from…getting head cause no one wants to go thru the african bush to get to the main source?

I know people who caught gonnoreah, herpes, clamydia etc who pubic hair failed to “protect” them…so hair protects…what?

just a thought

26 08 2008
true2me

sorry if i offended anyone..im bored and this site isn’t goin to be here much longer anyway….so…you’ll forget me nice and easy

or you could ignore me now…

I dont care either way…lol

its all shits and giggles to me

Dammit..i got tomato sauce on the keys…they’ll probably get stuck again

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Monie:

lol, the horny office workers come out of hiding?

8th:

We could name it “food, sex, and white people” since one of those 3 things tends to be the topic of discussion.

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

@Jess…
We probably do…if I’m not mistaken u work down at the asshole of all asshole universities UWM…I have my degree in Africology (2001)…so we probably have crossed paths…or if u are from my hood (27th and Burleigh area yeah I stay in the ghetto lol) then we probably have seen each other…hell as big as my family is we are probably related too! LMAO your father’s name isn’t Navarro is it lol

26 08 2008
Monie

BBL

26 08 2008
posting anonymously

I use to hate giving head, like when I was 16 or 17. I always thought that one eye was looking at me. But now, I’ll suck the skin off a dick! I love to suck the nuts while jacking the dick & playing with the nipples. Good times!

That is all.

26 08 2008
puff

@ yorubagirl – lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juju

@ 8th – furious at missionary banana

26 08 2008
riz

As I said before, Tend Skin works for ingrowns, but I’m also open to new suggestions. What do other women use?

Don’t fear the landing strip!! If it’s uneven, just look at it, and tell the esthetician to even it out. Trim if necessary.

And yes, it *is* important to trim, less you have a mini Pussy Fro.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

oh and 8th,

Did you save me any Chicken & Dumplings, because that does sound good.

26 08 2008
true2me

true = horny office worker

yall want me to leave ?

26 08 2008
Tamz

Ms. Sula:

That stuff from Helena’s really works. That whole place is just magical.

26 08 2008
riz

@True2Me: Well, clearly hair is not going to protect you from STD. Any idiot who uses pubes as their almighty condom deserves to catch gonorrhea.

What I’m saying is that a little hair is good for you, especially if your job requires you to spread pussy all over strange men’s face and laps for a living. Hair was put their for a reason, and the trend of this prepubescent R-Kelly fantasy of non-pubes is not evolutionarily sound.

Of course, I won’t hate on the practice because many of my friends do it and they seem okay. I just don’t think women should feel like they *have* to do it. This is why I have repeatedly advocated for the landing strip.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Ed, I’m already saving up for this child support, now I’m supposed to feed you too?

What am I getting out of this?

This blog seemed interesting, but no where NEAR SBPH

http://harryallen.info/?p=1294#more-1294

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Most of the commenters = horny office worker

26 08 2008
Vanita

I am NOT a horny office worker. I gots my bullet with me so Im good 🙂

26 08 2008
overit

We could name it “food, sex, and white people” since one of those 3 things tends to be the topic of discussion.

Why does that sum it exactly? You might want to add “and other general grievances” or something like that lol, just cause the conversation will veer off to discuss other groups of people, places, or things that annoy us…but will lead back to food, sex, and white people.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

8th:

If you cook chicken & dumplings you will be feeding me and the bayybayy. What are you getting out of this? A tongue with stamina, I thought this was already established.

I will check the blog out, do people actually talk on there though?

Finally, SMH at this dude who thought pubic hair prevents STDs, obviously that wasn’t what Riz meant. Jeebus.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Yaruba: Yeah I work for a programming dept with UWM..I don’t think it’s an asshole university! But, I’m a Psychology/Biology major-we may be going through different ish…sidenote: I can’t really get with Dr. M. Ahmad or Dr. Cecil in the Africology dept-two of the most frustrating courses I ever took! I don’t wanna give too much away but I live off Burleigh as well (I saw you write that before and was like damn-do all Black people live around Burleigh or Capitol?!) on the lower numbers…outsiders: In Milwaukee: the lower the numbers=more hood! lol

26 08 2008
puff

okay, excuse my randomness, but is (or was) anyone a musiq fan before this?

what happened to them L is gone days? le sigh.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Vanita:

You bring a bullet to work? That is amazing. lol

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

*Yaruba=Yoruba* typing too fast..

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Ed, thanks babe. I just needed to be reminded, but its all clear to me now. You will have Chicken, Dumplings, Pancakes, Nutella, Gumbo AND anything else you want later tonight.

No one comments, I did notice that. If all of us suddenly ran up in there with our weird strange nasty asses, he may shut his shit down too, lol. I read it again, and while it was somewhat interesting, it just wasn’t enough.

Damn you Chris.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ vanita

Horny and recently horny office workers.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

This one was aiight as well. Touched on what we were talking about this morning before the sex talk came, lol.

http://simplifythepositive.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-already-know-michelle-obama.html#links

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Why not take over drunkenstupidlove…it is a spawn of this site technincally.

26 08 2008
riz

Co-Sign Amadeo…

and add more convo about beauty and health tips, including the important art of Manscaping.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

good lookin, Amadeo. I never knew this even existed, but so far I like it

26 08 2008
Vanita

LOL @ reecntly horny! how about no-longer-horny?

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Vanita:

You are one of my new heroes.

8th:

So is the new blog agreed upon?

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

wait..so once this is over, everyone is going to drunkenstupidlove? if so, keep the same blog names!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

I work hard…to not do any work.

26 08 2008
Vanita

LOL yea everyon go to drunkenstupidlove
and makes sure you ask Diva to be a contibutor. So that way everyone can write something and we all can laugh. Maybe chris would love to be contributor too?

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

i dont know! Ugh this is too much pressure!

26 08 2008
Vanita

the new blog is drunkenstupidlove. its already been decided. if you dont conform, your a loser.

26 08 2008
overit

lol yall kill me @ work..vanita and her bullet, edumacated just refusing to do work…8th wonder making hard decisions on SBPH..if this falls apart once chris is done, i will most certainly die.

*black street* naw baby naw baby naw babayyyyyyyy….

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I am happy we could solve this so efficiently. Now, a new topic. Daddy Yankee supports John McCain? WTF.

26 08 2008
Vanita

daddy yankee is such a _______.
Im so angry that I cant find the right degratory term for him.

26 08 2008
overit

McCain will probably pay him NOT to..most latino people i know agree he’s the worst.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

*giving her girl Vanita the side eye*

You just call me a loser on the under? lol.

Fine, DSL it is.

Oh Daddy Yankee…you’re too irrelevant to be making this big of a mistake.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Ed:

LET’S PLAY NAME DADDY YANKEE!!!!

lol…Daddy Yankee is rege-tone deaf, sell out, platano eating bastard!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Can we sing the Muppets song on the last day?

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye’s such a hard thing to say
Touching a hand, wondering why
It’s time for saying goodbye

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

***while we are taking this time to bond, who’s added who on facebook yet?? any love matches when you saw the profile pics of your favorite SBPH blogger? lmao

26 08 2008
Elle

I’ll see yall at DrunkenStupidLove with my new lil cousin and that Yoruba girl who I KNOW has got to be related too!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Highlight of the Daddy Yankee Grandpa McCain collabo was the reports asking D.Y what Gasolina is about. He said energy independence. lol. I just have a picture in my mind of Grandpa McCain getting translated lyrics of D.Ys songs and having a heart attack, leading Obama to win in a no contest. Either that or Grandpa McCain doing a reggaeton song which would make me equally as happy.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

I laugh everytime someone types DSL…when the internet service first came out I would see DSL advertisments and be like, “Is that legal to have up in public.”

26 08 2008
overit

Amadeo: Bet lol, that would be too funny…I’m really kinda blown though!

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Hmm, my only SBPH friends on fb are Vanita and WNBT.

Yall add me! I identified myself in the “Who are you” section, lol.

*But you have to tell me who you are, cause I generally don’t like people*

26 08 2008
TheChad

whassup horny office workers!

i’m gonna live to regret this but what’s a bullet, Vanita….

26 08 2008
Vanita

Yall are gonna get me in trouble! As Mike Mukasey walks past my desk!

26 08 2008
JG*

LOL I took a nap in the office for a bit, come back and I see a post about the Bullet.. Now we’re speaking my language.

26 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

lol @ office naps JG*

i used to take those on my internship….

26 08 2008
TheChad

is no one really gonna tell me what a bullet is?

should i just google it?

26 08 2008
Vanita

Ask JG* She hipped me to the game.
The AG is gone, we can resume our sex talk

26 08 2008
Monie

Daddy Yankee supports John “Geezer” McCain = all the people in Puerto Rico are gonna vote for McCain!

Oh wait, Puerto Ricans can’t vote…oh well….

26 08 2008
JG*

The Bullet is by far the single most amazing Toy in the world of sex play assistance. I suggest you goggle it to take in it’s marvel.

26 08 2008
JG*

Has anyone seen that Trojan I believe now has a bullet type thing that goes on your finger. Or have I been imagining it?

26 08 2008
TomatoHead

I want a bullet…i don’t have the money to buy a good one though. The cheap ones will burn your clit off. Or so I’ve heard.

26 08 2008
TheChad

**reluctantly googleing “bullet”**

26 08 2008
Edumucated

I remember hearing about a vibrator a while back that plugged into your ipod and would vibrate on beat to the music. I wasn’t really that interested in it since it wouldn’t do much for me, but it did sound pretty cool.

26 08 2008
JG*

Yea* someone linked to that before. Just seems like too much work for me.

The Bullet can be quite *errm* stimulating. Especially if you have ummmm……decorations down there.

26 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ edumucated…the Oh Mi Bod vibe?

26 08 2008
chaoticdiva

By the way, why are we back on the sex toy topic?

26 08 2008
TheChad

wow…..

26 08 2008
riz

I saw that Vibe Ipod at Babeland in NYC!

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Sex toys really just aren’t as cool for men. We lose out on this one too. I mean it is easier for a man to just go to the bathroom and rub one out, but damn can’t i have external help?

26 08 2008
TheChad

ed: from a what!?

u ever seen a bullet? the one i saw looked like a silver egg… with a remote…

they be doin’ this stuff in the office and classes and shit….

i’m gonna be looking at every woman sideways now…

26 08 2008
puff

@ edumucated – always here and willing to help:

http://www.discreet-romance.com/jesses-senso-foot-fetish-adult-sex-toys-29544.html

i do it for the people.

26 08 2008
puff

@ ed – dammnit i had a toy for you but i keep getting blocked. le sigh. google jesse’s senson foot fetish fantasy.

26 08 2008
Jen

Barack Obama said that his favorite song to play on his iPod is Ready or Not by the Fugees.

Thought you’d like to know…

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Chad:

Yea, I know what a bullet is. These women are very sneaky.

26 08 2008
Monie

@Jen

lets hope Barack won’t be forced to explain Lauren Hill’s recent behavior.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Puff:

I don’t know how I feel about a foot fetish. But I will check it out.

Obama also said his daughters like Drop It Like Its Hot by Snoop except they say “Drop it like a sock, drop it like a sock.” Youtube “Obama drop it like its hot” to see it.

26 08 2008
Jen

I am shocked 2520 did not get all over that. Clearly, most American children listen to some Hip Hop, but I would think once Barry O.’s kids do, he becomes a self-proclaimed Crip-walker who only wears his rag on the left side.

26 08 2008
puff

i approve of obama’s censorship – this way his kids don’t end up like the chick in the fb group photo.

p.s. is the bullet supposed to only be $10? i’m not trying to be a snob or anything, but i don’t want to be putting any cheap goods round the goodies in case something gets broke. i need to stop looking at this adam&eve site, it’s starting to scare me.

sidenote – any of the ladies know about those thong panties with the string of pearls?

26 08 2008
Vanita

Drop it like a sock. LOL
Those kids will be so scarred when they learn the real words later in life.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

My bullet was $20.00 and OMG…Jesus walks.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Puff:

I think, don’t quote me on this, if you put in “sexy” for the promo code one item is 50% off. I saw an ad for Adam & Eve on TV, and I am pretty sure that’s what they said.

26 08 2008
Vanita

damn I cant get adamn and eve at work. Probly a good thing, I’d be broke!

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Ed and other Men:
There are these panties you can get your girl that has a vibe on the “love dot’ [girlish giggle] and you have the hands-free remote, you can control her sensations…seems fun!

26 08 2008
TheChad

i had no idea…. did y’all know they made vibratin’ draws too!

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Love dot?

Oh Jess, just come on to the dark side.

26 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ this convo. I need to head off and do some work, but I’ll be back…

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Anyone notice that Edumacated is a clear FREAK?!

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Have any of y’all ladies ever been to one of those toy parties? Where they have u carry a 3 foot dildo between your knees to pass over to the next lady in line? Or you are passing around vibes and whatnot to each other…lol those are almost ridiculous if it weren’t for the goodies u would take home/have delivered home

26 08 2008
Vanita

I been peeped him from jump street. Talkin about eatin pussy for hrs.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Did I notice?

Hell, he trapped me!

26 08 2008
TheChad

the topic of today’s post should be changed to: Stuff Chad didn’t know freaky women did by themselves…

… i don’t think yall understand…

my jaw hit my keyboard like four times already…

toy parties!? wtf….

26 08 2008
Vanita

yea I been to a sex toy party. They are fun. You should see the pics. They are on my facebook under slumber parties.

26 08 2008
JG*

Ahhh yes.. The Passion Parties. The safe/fun way to shop.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Chad…you don’t know about Pleasure Parties?! Even, I, the resident “alleged” prude, lol…know OF these parties

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess:

Why do you have to call me out?

and vibrating panties just sounds kind of lazy. Although I do like being in control of the remote.

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

*nearly breaks nail to see Vanita’s photo album*

I’ve been peer-pressured: did you all see the vibe that looks like a lipstick? I saw it at Spencers

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Ed: I was merely stating the obvious…BTW…are you on FB? Anyway, it’s something that seems fun if ya’ll were like at the movies but too scared to do “it”…not that I would…[immature girlish giggle]

26 08 2008
BenAfficial

Be even more fun if the girl has no idea what the drawers are capable of; and that you have the remote…

*ponders the possibilities in Pavlov conditioning

what’s the name of dem love dot drawers?

26 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I don’t know the name but they probably have them on any naughty toy site

26 08 2008
puff

@ edumucated – haha thanks for the tip. the vibrating panties are for damn sure only fun if your man has control of the remote… imagine if you were on the subway and the remote was in your backpocket and you sat down and some fat person was wedged next to you and you couldn’t stand up and shit…

generally though, sex toys kinda scare me although 8th wonder, you just might have me convinced.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess:

No Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn, or any social networking account, in accordance to the contract I signed when I began working at this firm.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Puff, I went a looooong time without toys because I was afraid to even go in the store. But a few months ago, I (wo)manned up, went in ALONE, and came out a happier woman.

Trust me girl, TRUST ME.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

This website brings out the freaks. lol

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Somebody said freak like it was bad.

26 08 2008
JG*

Amadeo… exactly.

Stuff Black People Hate: Not being a freak. (But for course only in the sheets. In the streets we must be ladies. Anyone ever notice that this disclaimer is ALWAYS given?)

26 08 2008
puff

hahahahahha alright 8th wonder, i believe you.

p.s. i cannot actually believe i can’t find a kosher pizza place in new york. what is the world coming to?

26 08 2008
Uninspired Muse

Thanks for the headsup..

You suck Chris

26 08 2008
Edumucated

JG:

My favorite are the “I don’t do this type of thing” girls. The oh-so-innocent girls who say they aren’t freaks, but when they finally do come back to your spot they want you to pull their hair and hit it from every angle, not to mention they want to be on top so they can have control. When its all over I am sitting there like, so which part of this hadn’t you done, because it seems like the only thing you hadn’t done before today was me. Thank God I wear condoms.

26 08 2008
TheChad

my eyes have been opened up to so much in the last 20 comments…

thank you good people of SBPH….

you’ve changed my life.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Puff, you believe…but will you purchase?

lol

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

@ Edumacated – ” When its all over I am sitting there like, so which part of this hadn’t you done, because it seems like the only thing you hadn’t done before today was me.”

D.E.A.D.

26 08 2008
BenAfficial

JG- that is a very important disclaimer and it’s always given to help prevent a certain travesty for men, who have a hard time differentiating quality women… hence the cliche- you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

Ed- the ‘I dont do this type of thing’ girls make it hard to differentiate as well; as you most aptly described.

Not sure how these issues associate to e-boos though lol

26 08 2008
puff

@ ed – extra dead at “thank God I wear condoms” – and we’re not freaks. we’re just letting you know we know what we want out of life.

@ 8th – hahahahahhahaha i’ma keep browsing for now. i think i feel shady looking at the stuff over the internet, like i’m checking out porn or something. i might go to a store instead to see what’s up.

26 08 2008
Jen

“When its all over I am sitting there like, so which part of this hadn’t you done, because it seems like the only thing you hadn’t done before today was me. Thank God I wear condoms.”

Here, you insinuate that a good lay is probably a ho.

For this, I award you a bolded FAIL.

26 08 2008
Dekela

Gentlemen, I think I figured out the way to never loose another argument again

1. Purchase them vibrating drawers in every color, cut (thong, grannies, g-string), and two diff sizes (women fluctuate…)
2. Buy a universal remote and program all the remotes into one
3.Keep remote handy at all times..
4. Never NEVER tell your best friend/homeboy/partnaz what its for, they may steal it

26 08 2008
BenAfficial

wtf is wrong w me- I keep watchin that ‘its so cold in the D’ video. damn shit is growing on me.

R.I.P Ray Ray

26 08 2008
JG*

Any girl can claim anything. 🙂 i.e. “I’ve never done this before”. I say it all goes back to how/where/when you met.

I know girls who claim the freakiest stuff, but in reality, have never given head, and are afraid of the SHAZAAM!

26 08 2008
aceklub

@edumucated – ” When its all over I am sitting there like, so which part of this hadn’t you done, because it seems like the only thing you hadn’t done before today was me.”

DUDE!!!

That is so CLASSIC. Fellas sitting in the bed all shocked and shit like “dayum, did I miss the memo”

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Jen:

No, I was referring to the girls who say they are super innocent, but are absolutely not.

I have been with women who are not hos who are amazing in bed as well.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Good point, JG.

And I died at the visual of vibrating granny panties.

26 08 2008
Vanita

Deleka, are we friends on facebook? Because I may have to censor you for that comment…lol

26 08 2008
Dekela

LOL I’m trying to help my black men out, lawd knows we need it…

26 08 2008
Jen

Hmmm. I’ll buy it today, Edumucated. I was starting to think you were a victim of the Madonna/Whore complex.

26 08 2008
Angry IV

John McCain is turrible.

26 08 2008
Edumucated

Alright mi gente, it is about that time.

God Bless.

26 08 2008
JG*

Jen: That’s a very good point though. It’s strange how when a woman shows strong sexual awareness some men label her as a whore because the assumption is that she’s been around the block to obtain that knowledge. (I’m not saying this is what Edumucated was implying, I’m just talking about this problem as a whole) It’s a very frustrating and frightening double standard.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

and to go further with that, its just like, okay you want a woman to be able to do this that and the third, but when you get that, you complain because you wanna know where she learned it? What sense does that make? Men do that allll the time. They don’t want you to be inexperienced, but they don’t want you to go for the gusto either.

26 08 2008
JG*

Exactly.

26 08 2008
TheChad

yeah i’m outtie too…

i gotta go tell people what i’ve learned.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Sigh..I’m here till 6.

Stay with me, people!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ JG and 8th Wonder

We all have a curse….men may not be seen as “whores” but we are expected to have every trick in the book when you meet us and alot of women do not give you any hints…which is even worse since women aren’t a carbon copy and some can’t even tell you what does it for them.

26 08 2008
8th Wonder

Amadeo, you’re absolutely right. And that’s not fair.

I still want a man who knows what he’s doing though, lol.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Also…I figure everyone has been had and had anything you can do done to you. It’s safer…the problem is when you front/lie.

However, I do not want to know the number. Go ahead and keep that tidbit to yourself.

26 08 2008
BK24/7

Then there are the guys that “don’t want the mother of my kids swallowing” and stuff like that and then complain that their sex lives are boring. You knew that before you married her!

Or the guys that don’t want to know how their girl obtained their skills. I told my boy that my ex-girl compared me to her exes (over an observation that had nothing to do with performance), and he asked me if I was mad. Over what? Shoot, let me meet the dude that taught her skills so I can give him dap!

26 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Amadeo …
what’s a ‘respectable’ number of partners for women to have?

26 08 2008
Amadeo

I have no such number in mind. My philosophy is keep numbers to yourself cause you don’t know who will feel what way about your personal “talley”.

The realest reason I can prefer a woman with a “low” (whatever you consider that to be) number is this:

Chance of baggage:
Someone screws you over – 40%
Someone you slept with screws you over – 65%

26 08 2008
Jen

“Then there are the guys that “don’t want the mother of my kids swallowing” ”

Please tell me these people are not real. If they are, please tell me they are branded with a scarlet letter “A” for “asshole”.

26 08 2008
BK24/7

I wish I was playing! They cheat on their wives because they married prudes, and they married prudes because they want the mother of their kids to be “honorable”.

They get divorced because they can’t stop cheating or their wives won’t get freaky. Then they want sympathy. Don’t call me, especially if you complained about her before you got married.

26 08 2008
Amadeo

Having my kids is a bigger deal then…ummm….swallowing them. When we get to that point I’ll be more bothered if she doesn’t.

26 08 2008
BK24/7

@ Amadeo,

I used to ask that question when I was a young lad. Sometimes you don’t get the answer you want and it messes with you.

I’ve realized that the number is irrelevant. You can bang 100 guys and still be a bad lay, or you can be the best ever in the sack and only been with one guy.

Plus I know a high school ho who told her husband she only slept with 5 guys. I think she meant at one time!

26 08 2008
riz

Co-sign at NO NUMBERS!

My second real bf implimented this policy. At first it drove me crazy, because I really wanted to know. Then, I got comfortable with it, and now I live by it.

My most recent ex demanded to know. He was a D.A., so he was really good at cross examination and would not take “no” for an answer. So I made up a completely arbitrary number range, that was pretty high, just to see what he’d say. He never brought it up again.

Now, I wouldn’t do that, because there’s no need to lie, and I’m stronger in my own cross examination skills. But still, the number doesn’t need to be shared because more than 0 is always too much for a guy.

26 08 2008
NewKidontheBlock (you say the whole thing!)

Hey all,
I’m Erica, new to the fb group, and I introduced myself on here… feel free to add me!!

I’m really gonna miss this blog I just found out about not so long ago. I’m one of those real life good girls (almost 23 and still pure!) and my friend told me I better not buy a big girl’s toy(namely the Rabbit)… I might pass out. Even the standard model might shock me, apparently!

26 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Riz…don’t sleep…I don’t want a girl looking at me thinking I’m a superho either.

26 08 2008
Justin

Aww, don’t quit guys, I love this blog; people though I complained alot too, but whatever. Anyway, besides the book, anything else going on? Let me know…

26 08 2008
The Original Justin

This blog is too funny to stop. I love it. You should write a bunch of books.

26 08 2008
JG*

Yea* I just say don’t ask what you don’t want to know. I hope and pray that I end up marrying the guy that I learned my skills from and taught him his. Just because I worry that anything less will be a disappointment.

27 08 2008
puff

i always wonder how you bring up training sessions for skills in the bedroom… i mean, should i tell a guy i want to tie him up, or just go on ahead and do it (with some pre-planning obviously, like having the scarves under the pillow and whatnot)?

i so agree with no numbers. i don’t need anyone trying to pass judgment on me, plus it has nothing to do with the relationship i’m engaging in, so let’s just enjoy the freaknasty and let it be.

27 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

numbers…. oooo. those things are no good!!!!
in college they would say that men multiply there’s by 3 and women divide there’s by 3…..

don’t ask numbers, cause that number shouldn’t allow you to change your feelings if you’re really feeling him/ her.

27 08 2008
chaoticdiva (chiming in 4 hours later..)

Numbers don’t mean anything. You can be a hoe and still have a low number (think really ugly guys that get no play outside of drunken loose girls), and you can have a not-so-low number, and be rather prude.

27 08 2008
riz

Yeah, training has nothing to do with numbers. One good bf is all you need to learn what you do.

@Puff, wasn’t it Chris Rock who said something about parceling out the freak in small doses? Like, “I’ll wear the sexy lingerie tonight but I won’t suck his c*ck”… something like that. I don’t really remember the quote. Point being, gotta start out slow, drop a couple of hints and see how he takes it.

27 08 2008
Amadeo

For the record my enlightened way of thinking means I can handle it all at once or to quote Love Jones

You don’t have to save nothing for later, I’ll take mine now.

27 08 2008
Muse

Chaotic Diva I disagree. Numbers do give insight to a woman’s sexual behavior. A woman who is, lets say 25 years old and has had 40 partners it would appear to be sexually loose. A Hoe is a woman who sleeps with anyone and anything without regard for her body, mind, or spirit. I don’t care about the bullshit feminist and the rest of society is feeding into everyone’s head, folks need to make better decisions when it comes to sex. What’s the poin in sleeping with so many people? Not every guy is worthy of sticking is penis inside of you.

27 08 2008
Muse

Also I’m uncomfortable with dating a man who has been around the block. Believe it or not most men don’t sleep around as much as we would think.

27 08 2008
ayo

Chirs…
snot bubble.
you suck.
how you just gon leave us like this???
whateva.
*trying not to hate*
good luck and shit.

27 08 2008
Muse

OMG did you guys listen to this dude? WOW WOW WOW

So angry but he does have some valid points….

Don’t stone me….

27 08 2008
ayo

Muse: anyone who has been around the block is suspect. They have a historical inclination towards self esteem issues that I am uninterested in dealing with as consequences could include the HIV.
Anywho.
If you want training without actual mileage on the system. Watch porn. It can be an education instrument.
And the bullet, rabbit and butterfly are the truth.

27 08 2008
Muse

CHURCH. I like my vagina to stay STD free.

27 08 2008
ayo

stay free… hahahahahaha!

27 08 2008
puff

@ riz – hahahahahaha true that…. hmmm…. damn. i need to start wearing my freakum heels around as from now on, jumpstart some shit.

@ muse – yeah, i’m getting tired of this shit. it’s fair to say that not all black men get with white women, but that’s pretty much all i’ll give him. successful black men are the ones who marry interracially? dude might want to check the obamas right quick. and i disagree on the heidi klum tip after i saw that pic of her make-up less…. this is why i don’t wear make-up, let them see what i look like off the bat so if they don’t like it, they can keep it moving.

27 08 2008
chaoticdiva (chiming in 4 hours later..)

@ Muse…yea, that is a bit much. But at the same time, 12 partners for a woman thats 35 who lost her virginity at 19 can still be considered a large number. That was the point I was making.

27 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Muse…I do agree with alot of what The Sergeant is saying…

…he also had me cracking up with his delivery.

27 08 2008
Jen

Good goodness! The man speaking in the video Muse posted sounded so ignorant, I had to turn my speakers all the way down so as not to feel ill.

I am so glad that I live in the South where successful Black men do NOT date white women in droves. I am sure that I would be a true hater such as that he describes if I had to see that foolishness all the time, too. I hardly ever see successful Black men with white wives or girlfriends. When I see Black/white couples, they are honestly mostly lower middle class and the woman is frequently obese or otherwise trashy-looking. None of the Black guys I grew up with who began well-paying careers and/or are well educated are with white women. Not a single one.

27 08 2008
riz

Right. There are definitely large numbers that do indicate something, but my point is that the number is subjective. I won’t tell anyone my number, not because I’m ashamed of it, but because it has nothing to do with us or who I am. It’s just being nosy. Just know that I’m clean, and that’s all that matters.

Personally, I don’t *want* to know how many partners that my man has been with. They have nothing to do with me, so long as he’s not still with them.

But I’m funny about numbers, in general. I never tell my age, weight or LSAT score. Again, not because I’m ashamed of them, but because they reflect little about me. If you want to know about me, then let me tell you. Don’t just try to guesstimate.

This is the same reason why I hate when people Google me then try to engage me in conversation about the results. Come on! Why is that necessary?

LOL at the Sergent!!! However, some of the “hateration” comes when the white girl gives Black women attitude like we want their man or are jealous. NOT the case!

27 08 2008
ayo

i dont think black women are jealous, just lonely.
like DAAAAMN! sistas is last on the list! how did that happen?

27 08 2008
Jen

I am trying hard to remember if I saw lots of Black male/white female couples when I lived in NYC, because I really don’t believe I saw an inordinate number of those there, either! I do know that my ex’s best friend dated a white girl for a long time, and she was a baaaaad bitch. She was pretty, a little older and better educated than he was. He lucked out! But I don’t think I saw the couplings enough to notice. Or maybe I just didn’t give a shit then because I was living a more…uh…shall we say “fulfilled” life.

27 08 2008
riz

p.s…. In the early days, I learned a lot from Cosmo, then from fem studies (in terms of female’s bodies’). Can’t watch a lot of porn though, it grosses me out. I find that the best sex comes from imagination….. And on the imagination scale, my number is very high…

I might be wrong, but I thought that the issue was more upwardly mobile Black women dating white men rather than vice versa. Isn’t that what the statistics say?

27 08 2008
ayo

i no longer care who black men date. i just care who i date.
i feel like i have been consumed by looking at the overall issue when i need to focus more on myself and my interactions.
i know a black man *or any man* would be blessed to have me, as i hope to be a blessing to them.

27 08 2008
Jen

I’m not sure what the statistics say, but I just don’t see a lot of that. The upwardly mobile Black men I know pretty much all date Black women. I can think of maybe two or three who date white or Hispanic women, and among those few, one of them has told me repeatedly that he wants to find a Black woman because he is getting to the age that he wants to settle down.

27 08 2008
ayo

jen… ninjas is dating yt girls… no need for statistics.

27 08 2008
Jen

I mean, I’ve heard enough of my girlfriends who live in other areas bitching about it to believe that it is true. I’m just saying that I don’t see it a lot down South, and I’m glad I don’t because it would probably do terrible things to my self esteem.

27 08 2008
ayo

girl… as long as you are getting checked for, as you mention frequently in previous posts, bump the statistics, and the regional worries.

27 08 2008
riz

@ Jen and Ayo,

I was talking about Black WOMEN and who they date, not Black men. Wasn’t that the whole controversy surrounding “Something New?”

When that movie came out, I distinctly remember an article saying that because more Black women than Black men are pursuing higher education and careers, they find themselves moving in white circles and therefore dating white men. It was controversial because many took issue with the fact that white was seen as the best alternative. I’ll try to find the article.

Either way, many Black women have to deal with the fact that as their socioeconomic status increases, so does their likelihood of being single. Especially in the West.

27 08 2008
ayo

i hear you riz. and it is indeed a crux.

27 08 2008
riz

Is Mr. Right white?

I heave a long, sad, sigh.

27 08 2008
Jen

Ah, riz. I misread. THAT makes sense. There are more upwardly mobile Black women than Black men, period, so it would make sense that there are more upwardly mobile Black women dating white men.

Although, to be honest, I don’t see that much at all down South, either. I have one girlfriend who is married to a white dude and one who has been dating an Asian dude for a while.

Loyal to a damn fault.

27 08 2008
riz

You know, it’s really something that I’ve been wanting to talk about on this site, but it’s been off topic.

Where I live, I simply DO NOT meet that many single Black men, let alone one with whom I have chemistry; let alone with whom I want to date seriously; LET ALONE one with whom I want to raise a family. This is not reflective on Black men, per se, but just that it’s hard for anyone to find a match, right?
Now try to do it where there are even less available men.

I’ve dated men of pretty much every race, some seriously, some not. The last guy I dated was Black Swiss. He turned out to be a condescending asshole. I dated 2 Latino men long term. They was aight.

Ultimately, I want/ NEED to settle with a Black man. When I imagined my life, I imagined it with someone who truly understand my experience as a Black person (not just “sympathizes”). The Obamas represent most of our collective dreams.

But what is one to do? Just decide to stay a bachelorette, rather than have a family at all?

27 08 2008
Muse

Riz,

The problem with many successful women (not just black women) is that they don’t put the same amount of effort into finding a husband as they do into their careers. If a woman wants to attract a quality marriage minded man, she needs to take certain steps. Let’s leave all the bullshit at the door. Black women we need to start taking care of ourselves by working out, looking good, being of sound mind, and have a good spiritual foundation (whatever that may be.) Women need to realize if you wish to attract a certain caliber of men, you need to be on point because a bunch of other women are also after that man. I also was advised from another man that women need to stop giving up the vagina to every Dick, Tom, and Larry. Every guy you date isn’t worth having sex with. Get to know him show some sexual discipline. It doesn’t mean act like a prude ass but seduce him. Women, stop being so quick to fuck the first guy who buys you a chicken dinner or smiles in your face! Learn to distinguish between the frogs and the princes. It also doesn’t hurt to know how to cook a mean ass meal.

At the end of the day men are still men. They want the basics. Your degree or how much money you have doesn’t mean shit. One of my guy friends who went to Harvard Medical School is engaged to a Black female who is a hairdresser. She doesn’t have a degree but she’s kind, smart, and most importantly she makes him feel amazing.

I’m starting to pay attention and getting advice from married women because for one I desire to get married before 30. Women, life isn’t fair but in your 20’s that is when it would be the best time to find someone because after 30 your stock starts going down. That’s a harsh reality but at that point you are now competing with women in their 20s for husbands. Now if you are one of those females who either don’t want to get married or believe that a quality man should accept your baggage, bullshit, and the rest of your flawed self then do you. See how that works out. I stand by my belief that quality people attract other quality people. If you are having issues in the man department and keep getting these dogs then maybe you have fleas your pussy lol.

27 08 2008
riz

@ Muse,

Yes, that is the case with many women. But that’s also blaming the victims, and I refuse to take the wrap as a Hoe/Slut/Attitudinal/Self-Entitled/ Fat Black woman because I am none of those things. It isn’t that I met the right one and “let him slip away.” It’s that I haven’t met anyone who has really moved me.

And in general, I’ve tried many different approaches, because all dating is “just practice.” I’ve spoiled men, who mistook my kindness for weakness. I’ve played hard to get with men, who stopped dating me once I didn’t give it up. I’ve insisted on paying. I’ve let him pay. I’ve been quiet and passive. I’ve let my personality show through. The problem is not ME, anymore than it is THEM, or anyone else, really.

I’m not saying that there’s No Good Men out there. So I refuse to accept that we are not Good Women. The numbers just skew too much to believe that such a large amount of the population is actin a fool. Something else is at play.

27 08 2008
riz

Perhaps it is because I want more than A Good Brotha with a Good Job who comes from a Good Family. I want a true companion and partner.

Or maybe I should just cook a good meal, not have an opinion, keep my hair straight and go chasing after any man with a salary. .. Then be bored and lonely in my marriage, until death do I part.

27 08 2008
Muse

Oh I definetly agree with you. I think we’ve all been taken advantage of by people of questionable character. Dating is part strategy and part chance. There are enough shady characters out there to be on guard. I also want to add that you won’t click with every nice guy but I would be more inclined to giving them a chance than the diva dudes running around.

27 08 2008
Muse

Riz

You are putting extras on it. Be yourself and have a positive disposition about your potiential mate. Imagine that your husband already exist. In the mean time have your fun meeting interesting people. You don’t have to be light or dark skin, straight or nappy hair. When a man falls in love with your soul, none if the superficial crap that everyone imposes on each other matters.

I do have a baseline for what I want in a partner. Havin goals and being financially self sufficient is one of them. Call it what you want but I’m not built for poverty. I need a man who can keep up with my lifestyle. He doesn’t have to to finance me because I have my own money but he does need to be able to keep up. I live very well. That doesn’t mean I spend all my money on shit but I strive to have a high quality life by traveling, volunteering, continuin to develop my intellect, and giving back to my community. I want a man who has those interest and who isn’t satisfied with being stagnant.

27 08 2008
riz

Look, I employ Affirmative Action in my dating. Even if a guy is just so-so, if he is Black, he has, like, a billion % more leeway because, well, he’s Black, so he gets the benefit of the doubt, even if I find him boring, snobby, self-absorbed or not as hot as I’d like. I understand compromise.

I’m not even saying that the problem is that All Guys are Bad, or that I don’t trust them or that I think Black men will take advantage of me. Yeah, I made mistakes when I was young. Now, I’m all grown up and those mistakes will never be made again. I’m not THAT girl.

I simply have not met a guy who is remotely interesting. Haven’t met the one who can intellectually stimulate me, can make me laugh, shares my interests, can be strong when I feel weak, or be strong when I feel strong. I’ve met a lot of and mehs. I’m not alone in this, because many of my fabulous single female friends are single, too.

This is complicated by the fact that there are simply not enough Black men. Period. In my graduating class there was 1 Black man. ONE. BLACK. MAN. So even if I did completely sacrifice my own self-identity and desires in order to “catch,” exactly how far am I supposed to go in order to get that one black man? I’m afraid to even ask, because I refuse to be that desperate.

The choices are (1) I uproot myself from my home and go to where the Black folks are (2) somehow start a new Black diaspora in NorCal (the weather is great!) (3) date Latino and Indian dudes and pray for the best.

27 08 2008
riz

However, I do think that with all this talk of Gender Roles, and how women need to be more old-fashioned, I’d like to point out that men need to be too.

The fine art of courtship has been lost; maybe due to fast women, maybe due to misogyny. All I know is that when men are men, it is easier for women to be ladies. If we’re going to be old-fashioned women, then men need to check themselves, too.

27 08 2008
Quiet Storm

Damn, I go away for training for a couple of days and come back to a hot topic. Thanks guys. Now Im imagining Morris Chestnut with juices on this goatee. i wonder if he would wash his face immediately… **rapidly fanning myself **

27 08 2008
overit

@ Riz, I agree but I think women have a lot more power than we use. Seriously, what if women banded together and withheld sex to end war (and trifling brothas in our case) like in the play Lysistrata?

Read, take notes, and get crackin ladies. Vanita, I nominate you to give tips on how to cope until the madness STOPS.

Read this men…and prepare.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysistrata

27 08 2008
Jen

OVERIT, LYSISTRADA IS MY FAVORITE ANCIENT PLAY.

I heart you!

That is all.

27 08 2008
Bajan Girl

Damn it…
I missed so much…
only 3 left… *quietly shedding tears* I think my soul just died a bit…

can there be a rule that fat fucks are not allowed to make any comments on what I (or any female for that matter) should do to the pleasure portal seeing as how the chances of them ever getting close to it are next kin to nothing…

@ Edumacated – ” When its all over I am sitting there like, so which part of this hadn’t you done, because it seems like the only thing you hadn’t done before today was me.”

LMCBAO! HHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

27 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Now Im imagining Morris Chestnut with juices on this goatee.

….I must have missed alot. We all know, besides food, Morris Chestnut is my fave subject. 😉

Let me meet him and see if I don’t kidnap his ass and have my way with him…

27 08 2008
Randy Watson

1 – lemme find out pussy juice is medicinal and will cure all that ails me?
2 – i am not like eddie in boomerang…i hate feet
3 – maybe we could put on some of that old school musiq and i could be introduced to the medicine for my sickness?

28 08 2008
steadycat

WHAT? I just found this place!

28 08 2008
stuufgirlslike

steady cat, you be slow.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

19 12 2008
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