Thoughts for Tuesday: Project Update

19 08 2008

I had a goddamn hard drive crash yesterday and lost about 50 pages of my work on the upcoming book. Needless to say, there will be a delay. 50 pages sets me back about 2 weeks, so be prepared for a book launch in mid-September rather than the end of this month.

I’ll be announcing the official release date (when I know it) on Facebook:

Click Me: Stuff Black People Hate Facebook Group

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

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574 responses

19 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

FUCK! Now i need to reactivate my facebook page

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

OMG!!! I made it before it hit double digits!!!

19 08 2008
JD

Yeah the movie was really cool except for that. 50 pages?!? I’d just be depressed.

19 08 2008
Knatural

Fourth!

19 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

oh, ummm… sorry for your loss and shit =)

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Unfortunately, I can’t watch the video at work 😦 but…sorry to hear about the crash Chris…did anyone see that story on MTO: “Races Unite: Black and White Kids Join Together to Whoop a Girl” sad, but hilarious nonetheless

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Yeah that’s gotta hurt… sorry bout that happening to ya.

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Sorry if this is elsewhere on the site, but do you change the hall of rage person every week or once a month?

19 08 2008
Jen

Oh, wow. I know that feeling. I know you’re brilliant enough to make it back up, and it is good to see you aren’t discouraged. Good luck.

Also, I tried really hard to be pissed off at any condemnation of The Dark Knight, but I cracked at “Are you speaking Bat??”

19 08 2008
Angry IV

Nice. Do you have a Mac with Time Machine?

19 08 2008
Ms. Sula

How many times do we have to tell people: Back up your data, back up your data, back up your data!

Ok sorry… I had a weird flashback of my college HelpDesk days… Sorry for your loss, but please invest in a good external hard drive… They are pretty cheap these days.

I haven’t seen the Dark Knight yet… I will be too ridiculous bawling throughout the entire movie… Will just wait patiently for the crying feast at home.

Anyways, since the book is not coming out at the end of August after all, SBPH will still be up and running until mid-september, right? Right?

19 08 2008
Jen

@ Ms. Sula – I cried when The Dark Knight was over because the best movie-going experience of my life had ended.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Chris…when you go to the apple store, tell them to do another restore for your documents, and they should be able to pull it up. I had a hd crash on my macbook 2 weeks ago and I nearly lost all of my pictures.

Those assholes are just lazy and do partial restores. Come to think of it, my big bro works for Apple out your way…lmao. I retract my prior statement of calling them all assholes.

19 08 2008
Saun

My favorite part — “Are you speaking bat? Is that what bat sounds like?”

That was funny.

I hope you can get your files back Chris. HD crashes suck!

19 08 2008
Cheekie

Obviously this recent crash is due to the movie, Crash. It ruins everything.

Seriously, though, I’d bang the computer against my head if I’d lost 50 pages of hard-written work. My blood boils for ya, Chris. Good luck!

LOL @ the Deep Batman voice. Almost EVERYone’s only complaint about TDK was his damn voice. I sure Christian Bale now needs a permanent losenge.

19 08 2008

I wanted to sock batman in his jugular

19 08 2008
Amadeo

You should always destroy another computer infront of the one you will be using so it knows you mean business. You give them an inch and they think they’re a ruler.

19 08 2008
blackberry molasses

dammit… this is going to force me to join facebook… not my many friends and family already on there, but YOU sir. Contgratulations,you have succeeded where others have failed…

19 08 2008
Bassey

I did not like the Dark Knight.
I thought Heath Ledger was really good but I’m sensitive about mental health disorders being used as “evil” in movies. So it took me out of the movie a lot.* Plus I’m just not into big loud, explosiony, guts and shit movies.

Christian Bale could get it, center court, half time at the NBA Finals, in H fuckin’ D. That’s my word.

Maggie Gyllenhaal… is a very… nice person… who is loved by her family… and is probably a really good mother… and her brother loves her a lot… and she seems like she enjoys life and isn’t all skanky like some of the other actresses out and she’s better than Katie Holmes…
however, I do not need to see her face that big. Ever. Again. In life.

*I’m sensitive. But I thought Tropic Thunder wasn’t as funny as I needed it to be. I actually wanted more Robert Downey Jr. in Black Face. He was over the top and hilarious.

19 08 2008
19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“You should always destroy another computer infront of the one you will be using so it knows you mean business. You give them an inch and they think they’re a ruler.”

This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all month.

RE: The Lost Pages – they’re unsalvageable [sp?] and I’ll have to write them again. Remember, everyone should distribute a copy of the book to as many non-black people as possible.

I’m having a very hard time not titling the book: “Whitey – Shut the Fuck Up and Listen.”

19 08 2008
Cheekie

“Whitey – Shut the Fuck Up and Listen.”

Love it! Automatic Pulitzer Prize!

19 08 2008
JG*

That site… Is by far the most hilarious thing I’ve seen today.

19 08 2008

I have a pimple on my nose. This is the first time I have ever had a pimple on my nose. It hurts! and I want to go home.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Chris – ‘Remember, everyone should distribute a copy of the book to as many non-black people as possible.’

I hope there’s a buy 1 get 37 free special goin on. I work with damn near all YT’s. My floor alone could put u on the NY times best seller list.

19 08 2008
Muse

OMG I was having computer issues as well but I deserve it since I use a shitty PC. First it started off as the icons in my desktop disappearing then I found out that the trojan and worm virus fucked over my whole system. Apparently Norton did their job by removing the viruses but also took part of my operating system with it. FUCKERS. So now I have to pay some ass at best buy to fix my sony vaio. I’m really tempted to throw the shit out of the window and go back to my origins which is Mac.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

I’ll be back…I have an accounting final in 5 minutes…I hope I don’t have a heart attack in the middle of it.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Chris u better be careful what day you release ur book on. U might be in for some stiff competition from this ‘gem’:

19 08 2008
TheChad

@ JG: That is freakin’ hilarious…

@ Ne: That freakin’ sucks… ain’t no poppin’ that bad boy either…

@ Chris: Damn homie… all Apple products are designed to shut down after a year and a half… how old is yours? It’s a freakin’ conspiracy…

@ Errbody: The Dark Knight freakin’ rocks…

19 08 2008
Muse

On a happy note, since I’m very anal about backing up my system all my important documents, papers, and photos are on an external hard drive safe from getting computer aids.

Oh and today is my first day back to work after a 2 week vacation and I realize how much I hate 80% of my coworkers. Sometimes I wonder if God is paying me back for putting crazy glue in little Sally’s hair. The irony is that I love what I do but I hate the corporate bullshit that I have to deal with to do it. I have this 2520 chick who works under me and cries almost everytime I give her instructions. I’m waiting for her to fuck up royally so I can fire her.

19 08 2008
JG*

Great quotes from the site I posted:

“you just mad cuz you aint creole!”

And part of “who is beyonce”
“Although Beyonce grew up with a loving family in upper-middle class Houston life for Beyonce wasn’t easy. In school a bunch of the uglier, less talented kids ganged up on her and picked on her because she was so gorgeous and talented and all that shit. “

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Bassey:
*dead, deader, and deadest at Maggie G. commentary*

There were parts of Tropic Thunder that were so funny, but it went for long stretches of time without making anyone laugh. Robert Downey Jr. was hilarious though. That one “preview” at the beginning with him and Tobey Mcguire destroyed my life.

19 08 2008

It hurts! 😦

19 08 2008
Jen

Thank you, JG. I just choked on my water.

19 08 2008
former lurker

anyone seen pineapple express yet, or am i the only one that thinks that shit should be mad funny?

19 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Tropic Thunder had some brilliant moments, but I agree that some parts dragged a little… The character I liked the least was Jack Black’s…

Robert Downey Jr. stole the cake on that one. 🙂

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Q: Are you an obsessed stan?

A: No, on this site we speak nothing but the truth (with a strong bias towards Beyonce)
JG- lolz

Ne- go ‘head and pop that bad boy; you know you wanna!

19 08 2008
Ms. Sula

I am dying at Beyonceitis.com… Why did the disclaimer mention that the site is not affiliated to Daniel “Lil’ Creole Pimp” Smith Jr. ?

I am CTFU!

19 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Can someone explain the origin of 2520 for me please? I’m assuming that it means yt folk but how and why 2520? And morning/afternoon all…

19 08 2008
Jen

I’m gon die. I’m gon die.

WHY is “What about my body body?” one of the menu options on the Beyonceitis menu?

19 08 2008
Cheekie

“And part of “who is beyonce”
“Although Beyonce grew up with a loving family in upper-middle class Houston life for Beyonce wasn’t easy. In school a bunch of the uglier, less talented kids ganged up on her and picked on her because she was so gorgeous and talented and all that shit. “

I DEMAND that this exact quote becomes a part of Beyonce’s E! True Hollywood Story, immediately.

19 08 2008
Ms. Sula

@former lurker… I saw Pineapple Express. I found it funny, but ha-ha funny not laughing out loud funny.

Now, I am sure that the funny quotient is directly proportional to the quantity of “pineapple express” one has inside one’s body.

I am sure it’s the kind of movie, you have to watch several times to grasp all the subtle funny moments.

19 08 2008
Cheekie

@YorubaQueen YT = 2520 because Y=25th letter of alphabet and T=20th letter of alphabet.

19 08 2008
JG*

Yea* The site is full of little gems. It’s the best thing ever. LOL

19 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Thank u Cheekie!…Because I was over here hurting my brain trying to figure it out (damn I guess I’m slow LOL)

@B4PRez…is that Biggie Smalls or Sean Kingston on the cover of that book? (and I am so disappointed in the “series” of those books already)

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt
19 08 2008
TheChad

Tina Knowles on how Beyonce got Jay-z pussywhipped:

“I taught her some moves that had Jay in church socks, butt-naked, in the kitchen at 3AM frying her bacon. Bacon grease poppin everywhere, hitting him in the nuts, and he’s just smiling and cooking bacon.”

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Chris this will cheer you up:”

Jess, you are a motherfucking motherfucker.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

@yoruba –

I don’t know who the ‘illustrator’ was going for on that book…I’m still trying to figure out why that book exists to even have an illustrator.

19 08 2008
Knatural

Né – what’s your pimple’s name? Put some tea-tree oil on it and he’ll die a painful death without leaving a mark.

Pineapple Express? Seems like you should be high to enjoy it. Like Half-Baked.

19 08 2008

lmaooooooo @ this will cheer you up…

Ne- go ‘head and pop that bad boy; you know you wanna!

I want to put my nose on the freeway pavement, because not only do I have a pimple (like I’m 16) But I have allergies like no bodies business. I AM MISERABLE TODAY.

FUCK EVERYTHING!

19 08 2008
Cheekie

No problem, Yoruba! I was in the same position as you regarding 2520 not too long ago…could never figure it the hell out. Then I ran across someone answering it for someone else. And now I’m answering it for you. The Circle of Life.

19 08 2008

“Beyonce probably couldn’t do “Fallin'” exactly the same way Alicia could, and you probably wouldn’t buy Alicia doing “Freakum Dress” (or in her case Freakum Pantsuit). ”

LMAO

19 08 2008
TheChad

Ne – also if you take a towel with some really hot water (don’t burn yourself tho) and press it to your nose for about a minute it’ll make it go away…

19 08 2008

The chad,

will that make it pop? or releave the pain?

19 08 2008
JG*

LMAO at Freakum Pantsuit!

19 08 2008
Yonnie3k

I saw Pineapple Express and me and everybody else in the theater walked out holding our sides from laughing so damn hard. And I’m usually bored by such low brow humor. But that damn movie was hifuckinlarious. As Jon Stewart put it, its an action stoner movie. Definitely Go See It.

Thug Liiiiife

19 08 2008
TheChad

Ne,

No it won’t make it pop. Popping can leave scars and i don’t know if you want that on your nose. If it’s hot enough it should make it go down in about an hour or two. Has it surfaced yet or is it still under the skin? If so… we may need a new approach…

19 08 2008

My pimples name is Nicole Kidman.

tea tree oil? I’m gonna have a greasy nose like bowfinger!

“I taught her some moves that had Jay in church socks, butt-naked, in the kitchen at 3AM frying her bacon. Bacon grease poppin everywhere, hitting him in the nuts, and he’s just smiling and cooking bacon.”

ahahahahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

19 08 2008
Knatural

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHA @ Beyonceitis!
This made my day.

Q: Is this site serious or is it a joke?

A: Yes.

And photo of Klingon Rihanna! AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

19 08 2008
Jen

No…Ne.

This is the part from Mama Tina’s interview that has me crying:

“Get yourself an old man, and sex him up real good, and use his money for wigs and clothes and stuff….Beyonce has $1 Billion and hasn’t spent a dime of her own money since she was Destiny’s Child*, but she’s always fly and her wig game is better than any of these other bitches in the industry.”

*Note she said “was” Destiny’s Child, not “was in” Destiny’s Child.

19 08 2008
former lurker

Ne – put some toothpaste (just a dab) on it when you go to sleep tonight (paste, not gel). guarantee when you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be half the size it is today, and by tomorrow night, it should be gone.

19 08 2008
tp2

hello all…

Beyonceitis=greatness.

19 08 2008
Yonnie3k

Did you see this part of the Beyonceitis site?

This site is not affiliated with or endorsed by Beyonce, Matthew Knowles, Tina Knowles, Solange Knowles, Daniel “Lil Creole Pimp” Smith Jr., Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, Farrah, LeToya, LaTavia, LaVita, Lasheeka, LaRhonda, Labia, Sony Music, Bobby, Ronnie, Ricky, nor Mike. All information is property of Beyonceitis.com aside from the shit we stole.

Labia? Why?

19 08 2008

“Tina: Well, a lot of it has to do Beyonce’s upbringing. I raised my girls to be self-sufficient and independent, make
enough money not to have to depend on a man for anything. However, there’s no reason to have to spend ALL of your money. Get yourself an old man, and sex him up real good, and use his money for wigs and clothes and stuff. And really it’s not that much work. Take your money and put it the bank or in the stock market, or invest it. That’s the main thing I taught my girls, “Don’t waste money on little shit”. Beyonce has $1 Billion and hasn’t spent a dime of her own money since she was Destiny’s Child, but she’s always fly and her wig game is better than any of these other bitches in the industry.”

ahahahahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaa ouch…my nose!

19 08 2008
Amadeo

LMAO @ Freakum Pantsuit.

19 08 2008
Cheekie

Beyonceitis has completely turned around my Tuesday that felt like a Monday.

LMAO @ Nicole Kidman pimple

I shoulda named my pimple each time I had one. Woulda softened the experience tenfold. I probably would have named one of them Mufasa.

19 08 2008
tp2

labia…lmao!

19 08 2008
Knatural

Actually, toothpaste works. The baking soda, right?

Yonnie – because people always blame Labia.

19 08 2008
Tamz

Ok this = fatality for me:

Keeping with her tradition of giving new talent an opportunity, for the WorldWide World Tour 2008 Beyonce wants an all-gay band. That’s right an all-gay band. She will be looking for the most talented and energetic gay male musicians to go out on the road with her. She needs the following musicians:

– 1 Drummer
-3 Tamborine Players
-2 Whistle Blowers
-1 Person to hold 2 flashlights, spin in a circle and, make the Siren Sound on Ring the Alarm

She will be holding auditions in Atlanta-only. She figured that in Atlanta all she had to do was play “Get Me Bodied” on a crowded street and the all-gay band would form itself.

19 08 2008
JG*

I literally Laughed OUT LOUD…. @ Labia…. like.. WTF?

19 08 2008
Knatural

Pimples mean you’re not getting enough schlong.
I was mortified when my dad once alluded to this. Parents shouldn’t know about sex.

19 08 2008

former lurker,

Thanks, Preciate it!

Sooo, so far hot towel, tea tree oil, and toothpaste. Are these ancient creole secrets?

19 08 2008
Jen

AHHHHHHHH@Tamz

This here spoke to my soul:

Myth #2 – Beyonce speaks for all women.

Fact – Not one person can be the spokesperson for all women. So to clarify, Beyonce speaks for good-looking women. In order to relate to a Beyonce song you would have to be reasonably attractive since these songs take place in the life of an extremely attractive person. Gorilla-faced females may be turned off by some of the lyrics. When you look like this, you have a hard enough time trying to find a man to let you order off McDonald’s $1 Menu, so you wouldn’t know a lot about “six-star pentsuites” and “freakum dresses”.

19 08 2008
tp2

“Ashanti would make an EXCELLENT host on 106 and Park (I respect their hustle, but Terrence and Rocsi make my ass itch)” bwhahahahaha

19 08 2008
Jen

Here is my ancient Creole secret. You better put some hydroquinone on that boy, too, or you will end up having to wear concealer on your nose for the next two months.

19 08 2008

LMAO KNAT,

That explains it, I am mad at my beau and I’m not getting peen. I better get me some lmaoooo

19 08 2008
tp2

@knat yeah that would have made me throw up on his feet

19 08 2008
Ethel

An AKA Barbie…aka – appeals to a small audience Barbie.

Will they come up with a non-greek Barbie next? One can only imagine.

Sorry to hear about the 50 page loss but sending virtual fruit baskets in your general direction…for you AND your computer.

Hang in there.

19 08 2008
Cheekie

Cracking the hell up @ Beyonce Three Stooges-slapping Monica so hard she has to resort to sending Sears Portraits of her son to blogs.

19 08 2008
JG*

The toothpaste thing really works.

19 08 2008
TheChad

Ne, Mine are southern black folk secrets… you should hear my cures for other shit… not to mention cleaning and cooking secrets…

Did nobody notice “Terrence and Rocsi make my ass itch”

wow

19 08 2008
ChuckT

Sorry for the loss but that means we get more blog posts till you bounce back. cant just cut me off cold turkey.

Ne do not sleep with toothpaste on your face. i had a friend who did that and it bleached her skin on the tip of her nose she was lookin crazy for a few weeks

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

What up peoples!
*drops to knees and kisses ground*

I am so glad to be home and alive right now. I don’t know who called out sick today at the JHU Dept. of Transportation but they need not NEVA do so again. This morning on the shuttle…it was supposed to be an express but dude took the long city tour route and yelled at this poor little Asian girl to “Please get off my bus now!” when she was confused because he was putting people off at a NON-STOP.

Now on my way home, this other driver was taking extra time to finish her Newport and eat a twinkie or some shit (why does nicotine never seem to work as an appetite suppressant in negroes?). So she pulls off late and decides to compensate by SPEEDING through the streets of Bmore like a bat out of hell. Mind you, we’re in a yellow school bus so we get air born every time she hits a pothole, I almost bit through my tongue on one bump. She also takes some random short cut…Amadeo and Vita, are the low rises from The Wire a real place? Cuz I swear we passed them. Oh and the best part – she sideswipes the side mirror of a parked car! Oooh, I would be so pissed to be that person.
*SIGH*

19 08 2008

” Jen (17:35:15) :

No…Ne.

This is the part from Mama Tina’s interview that has me crying:”

YO! I was over here snorting laughing!

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Chuck – per chance did the chick use a WHITENING toothpaste? That miiiiight have been the problem.

Ne- I also roll with the toothpaste crew. Dries it right up.

19 08 2008

“Ne, Mine are southern black folk secrets… you should hear my cures for other shit… not to mention cleaning and cooking secrets”

Please share

ChuckT

Thanks

19 08 2008

Thanks doc. I can count on this blog for everything!

THANKS SBPH!

19 08 2008
overit

Sorry about your lost work, I can definitely empathize and you seem to be handling it well. To echo Jen, you’re brilliant enough to make it back up, so don’t stress too much. Onward!

19 08 2008
puff

question: does anyone else hate ikea as much as i do? can i sue them (lawyers please) cos i just got cut trying to assemble a chair?

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Sorry to hear about all the computer issues! Muse and Christ, if y’all didn’t download so much porn y’all wouldn’t have these problems 😉 Seriously, it sucks to be set back but I’m sure you’ll come up with even better replacement work.
I just had to replace my computer, and I am THAT idiot that hardly ever backs up her data. Ah well, I figured it was just that time in life to purge shit, I doubt I was ever going to go back and reread all my lecture notes from first year med school anyway, lol. The worst part though was the Head Geek at Best Buy was trying to insinuate that I had a crush on him. Naw nukka, y’all keep doing random fiddling around with my computer that clearly isn’t working, that’s why I keep coming back! Stupid Geek Squad.

19 08 2008
Lindsay

Hi everyone!

Ne’ – hot washcloth, then toothpaste.

Puff – yes, I also hate Ikea’s furniture (except my handy dandy end table). I enjoy the quality and affordability of their kitchen, bath and bed stuff though.

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Wowzers…that clearly should be Chris and not Christ. I’m not *that* much of a follower of this blog, LOL.

19 08 2008
Jen

lol

Doc is going to hell for insinuating that Jesus partakes in the pornographic arts.

19 08 2008

“tooooth paaste, you just have to fucking read…toooth passte…USE YOUR VOWELS!”

$10 and Ashanti’s new cd for whoever can tell me where that line came from.

19 08 2008
Omar

“pornographic arts”

pornigraphy is art???

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Puff-

Yeah I’m about through destroying my Malm bed from Ikea. Sh*t is cheap and I had to put it together myself, what a rip-off. Liked the look but the quality is lacking severely.

19 08 2008
tp2

Ne- that would be You so Crazy Martin

thyank you. i’ll be expecting my money in the mail. you can keep the cd

19 08 2008
JG*

Half of my condo is from IKEA. I love it. Although the quality can be lacking some places. I have a Malm. So far so good.. But it hasn’t been christened properly.

(Right on time for around the 100th post)

19 08 2008
tp2

thyank=thank lol…

19 08 2008
puff

@ ne – lmao you so crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy

@ omar – yes, pornography is art. http://www.artificialgallery.co.uk/artwork.php?form_load_id=3466759468

19 08 2008
JG*

LOL From the Beyoncetitis website.

“Ashanti’s Rock with me (awww baby, no baby, baby please, stop baby, or whatever it was”

19 08 2008
puff

@ BenAfficial – forget the quality, the shit just MAIMED me! i can’t get my damn manicure! i want to throw it out the damn window but it’s my sister’s, so i’ma wait on her to come set it up her damn self

19 08 2008

ding ding ding

AWESOME TP2!

I love ikea especially for the accessories. Mirrors, rugs, vases, potporri, lamps…most of all my accessories are from ikea. You have to buy the more expensive stuff as far as furniture is concerned.

19 08 2008
Knatural

Ikea? I’ve never had an issue with the ‘quality’ of their goods. I’ve heard horror stories though, but hey, West Elm, Pier 1, and almost any other furniture is similar. Just stop jumping on your bed!
Ikea pratically threw up in my home (thanks Fight Club).

19 08 2008
TheChad

Ne:

just a few examples:

Local honey eases allergies to most hay fevers and pollens…

a piece of a rolled up napkin under your top lip stops a nosebleed…

lemon juice eases sore throats…

a molasses/yellow mustard base makes a bangin’ barbeque sauce

and the is NOTHING that white vinegar can’t do (stains, flavor, etc.)

19 08 2008
Knatural

practically*

19 08 2008
JG*

Puff…. WTF was that? LOL

19 08 2008

Impressive chad. My granny told me about everything you listed except for the honey, Besides I think my allergies are faaaaaaaar beyond cure or even ease for that matter. It doesn’t hurt to try.

19 08 2008
Tamz

I got some pretty good bookshelves and computer desk from Ikea. The one in my city is always packed with 2520’s and they’re always happy and having a good time, swinging their arms and discussing the cafe menu (I can’t believe Ikea has a fuckin eatery).

19 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Now if y’all can’t stand to look at the dead DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK:

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/3398201/

This man died and his mother propped him up in her living room…talking about “he wanted to be happy, standing”…his corpse is literally standing straight up in the corner behind his casket.

i.just.cannot.

19 08 2008
TheChad

I have shitty allergies too…

Try the honey thing. It has to be local honey tho.. not the grocery store stuff. Begin ingesting it on a regular basis before the allergy season and your body will build up sort of an immunity… it’s really weird how it works…

there’s a lot more…

my friends don’t really like me when they get sick…

19 08 2008
Knatural

Ikea has meatballs.

19 08 2008
shabooty

someone needs this:
http://www.apple.com/timecapsule/

19 08 2008
Muse

Doc I’m mad at you. Why are you telling everyone about my porn habit? You are a bad soror.

BTW you suck for not wanting to do carnival in Brazil. Trinidad is sooooooo overrated. Besides you are tiny enough to fit in my luggage and I only travel first or business class so you would be in good hands.

I just got out of a meeting and during the whole time I was thinking about my next PTO day. I’m a corporate whore and I hate myself.

19 08 2008
puff

@ JG* – the picture, you mean?

@ knat – omg don’t remind me i almost projectile vomited onto a little asian (although by default, they are little, but it was a kid) when i walked by the cafeteria. can they just stick to making safe friendly furniture?

19 08 2008
JG*

Please.. someone tell me that it would be wrong to laugh at the PR Standing Corpse…

Hurry.. I’m on my way to hell.

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

I think I just smelled a stiff whiff of douchebaggery…

19 08 2008
JG*

yea* was his… *shazzam* made into an airplane!? LOL

19 08 2008

I can not, and will not, EVER kiss a cadaver.

19 08 2008
overit

I heard about the local honey thing.

TheChad, do you know how long you shuld be taking the honey to feel results?

19 08 2008
TheChad

that is very awkward…

he just chillin’…

give new meaning to the phrase “posted up on the wall”

wtf Chad…

i’m sorry.

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Club IKEA in College Park cracks me up. My first apartment was pretty much entirely furnished from there…but why are people in there just chilling? Like folks would really bring their families just for lunch, wtf?!

I’m not gonna front though, in my more carnivorous days I would tear up some Swedish meatballs and lingonberry juice. And those iced cinnamon buns always smelled heavenly.

19 08 2008
puff

i saw it at the brooklyn museum at the murakami exhibit – his *ahem* shazzam was actually a lasso. hence the name my lonesome cowboy. little kids and their extremely embarrassed parents got to watch me laugh hysterically at that, another opposite it of a girl using her breastmilk as a skipping rope, and two huge murals on either side entitled “cream” and “milk”. oh the asians…

19 08 2008
JG*

Doc: Because! $.50 Hot Dogs!!!! $1.00 cinnamon buns! $.75 for a soda. Then go upstairs get on them meatballs, or a shrimp salad. LOL I used to go on dates in IKEA.

19 08 2008

LMAOO

I forgot I had toothpaste on my nose, and our finacial analyst just came and asked me some pacemaker questions and when I looked up he said:

“Wha what the heck is on your nose? ”

The look in his eyes..CLASSIC

19 08 2008
TheChad

@overit,

it doesn’t take long for your body to adapt to something…. i would say about a month or so regularly before the pollen starts… but i guess it may vary per person?…

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LOL I used to go on dates in IKEA.

We love you JG…but I wouldn’t share that with anyone else anymore, mmkay? LOL

19 08 2008
Muse

Why are folks clowning IKEA? A college dorm that had IKEA furniture was cracking.

19 08 2008
Knatural

Damn. Why didn’t I think of that. Ikea date is perfect. You get a glimpse into His tastes, get some meatballs, bully little kids, buy some pillows. Perfect.

19 08 2008
JG*

LOL!!! It was when I first moved to ATL. Small town girl, very excited by IKEA.

Ne: Tooooo funny. I was having *Borat voice* Sessy video time with my Gentleman friend on Yahoo Chat and I unbuttoned my shirt a little bit. I completely forgot, and my boss walked in to hand me something to do, and the look on his face was priceless. But he didn’t say anything.

19 08 2008
Knatural

One of my coworker’s relative got married at Ikea (in Texas).

19 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Doc

They tore down the joints that were really bad…but there are still some.

19 08 2008
JG*

Knat: LOL I saw a marriage proposal take place in one of the really nice living rooms that was by a window with the view of the city.

19 08 2008
Amadeo

Oh…I’m Ikea’s bitch. I’ll take a cheap price as a trade off for putting things together.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

I got some pretty good bookshelves and computer desk from Ikea. The one in my city is always packed with 2520’s and they’re always happy and having a good time, swinging their arms and discussing the cafe menu (I can’t believe Ikea has a fuckin eatery).

ikea eatery sucks

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Sorry Muse…but ain’t no secret, we all know you’s a freak freak 🙂

I definitely will get to Brazil at some point, but I guess Trini will have to be my warm up. Plus I know other folks going and it’s easier to get involved (although that’s certainly might be because I’m a little better at reading websites in English vs. Portuguese, LOL!). Either way, you have a blast for me and I’ll have a blast for you as I parade the streets in my boobie sparkles and feathers and wine on unsuspecting dudes!

19 08 2008
Jen

I’m sorry, Knatural, but I don’t think balls of any kind should ever be on the agenda of a first date!!

19 08 2008
Muse

Who else is going to Trini?

19 08 2008
Omar

Shiiiit, I had some Ikea cinnamon buns for breakfast…

19 08 2008
Knatural

It was like one of those all-inclusive Today Show weddings, in which the Bride & Groom sign up to win, and Ikea took care of everything, even the dress. It was actually really cute. The reception and ceremony where in one place and I think Ikea chipped in for the home stuff or honeymoon.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Don’t know about Trini, but I’ll be in Jamaica next week, right after the friggin tropical storm. I’m debating now whether to take advantage of the trip insurance.

19 08 2008
TheChad

never actually been IN an ikea…

they look cool from outside…

never felt like i was missing much.. until today.

19 08 2008
Knatural

I’m sorry, Knatural, but I don’t think balls of any kind should ever be on the agenda of a first date!!

Bowling balls. Paint balls. Basketballs. Billiard balls.
Get your mind OUT of the gutter, lady!
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19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Muse – I’m going with one of my homegirls. Someone I know from undergrad is going as well as a soror…they do it like every year and have been giving us all the info. We’re all going to be in the same band.

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

“stuffblackpeoplehate (18:30:20) :
I think I just smelled a stiff whiff of douchebaggery…”

Heeeeeyyyy, this didn’t go unnoticed. Explain

19 08 2008
Knatural

DOC! Take pictures. Folks always forget because they’re so drunk and/or wrapped up in everything. You won’t sleep. And please wear sneakers. Don’t be like some girls, trying to be all cute, marching in heels.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

I’m back from my exams…I honestly want a stiff drink (or 4), and something that I can give a swift kick before I pass out from sheer exaustion.

And I swear if that Obama staffer calls me again despite my verbal indications of my availability asking me to do phonebanking during class (yes, he has texted/called me during exams I have mentioned to him before.

Ok, I’m done venting.

What did I miss?

19 08 2008
Esquire

Ikea has cinnamon buns? Im lost.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Ikea has rather good potato salad, and the meatballs are yummy as well.

19 08 2008
Cheekie

Never stepped foot in an Ikea, but am intrigued they (supposedly) have cinnamon buns. Are they owned by Walmart, thus are required to have everything in their store?

19 08 2008
Esquire

WTF…Ive only been to the Ikea in San Diego…no food.

19 08 2008
Muse

Doc one of my best friends goes to Trini every year. I’m not sure if I’m ready to dance half naked int he street for hours….I have to work up to that level of bravery.

19 08 2008
TheChad

todays transition for those who may have missed it due to exams…

Computer crashes/The Dark Knight –> Pimples/Beyonceitis –> Ikea/Trinidad

19 08 2008

“Sure Jesus walked on water, but Michael Phelps swims through land.”

19 08 2008
Vanita

Hey All.
Ikea has good food, esp. cinnamon buns and hot dogs. Dont fake on the breakfast either.

Sorry to hear about your computer crashing, and the delay of the book(its on CP time already), but…does this mean we’ll get more posts until the release?
*please say yes*

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ Ne

@ Cheekie…its some Swedish company. Its funny how most of the instructions have photos but words in Swedish, so trying to understand strazyka is like huh?

19 08 2008
Vanita

Muse – Those people who dance half naked are drunk. Its easier and you dont remember much anyway.

19 08 2008
Lindsay

“Bullying little kids”

LOL. I thought I was the only one who did this! I don’t limit my bullying to Ikea, though. Let a heely-wearing little bastard whiz past me in a mall or on the street.

19 08 2008
19 08 2008
Vanita

Oh yea muse, go to NY to warm up. Labor day is right around the corner…then there’s miami’s carnival sometime in october…You’ll be ready for Trini carnival in no time!!
But seriously, I gotta go to T& T carnival. So Im doin my warm up tour now.

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Knat – I definitely will! Well, I’ll have pictures early in the day anyway. By the end of the day I hope to be drenched in sweat and alcohol, makeup running down my face and headpiece askew with chunks of feathers missing from my costume, LOL. Kidding…slightly.

Oh yeah, and definitely sneakers. I’m trying to get up on those Usain Bolt gold jawns. Those were puma right?

19 08 2008
Amadeo

There are always a bunch of europeans in IKEA here as well…not white people but straight…I’m less comfortable speaking english europeans.

19 08 2008

I usually go to the carnival in miami. TONS OF FUN!!!!!

19 08 2008
Jen

Ikea builds furnitures and HOMES.

The homes don’t come pre-assembled, either.

http://www.boklok.com/

19 08 2008
Knatural

I love an open floor plan.

19 08 2008
Amadeo

Hmmm…Ikea may be a good place for sex…I might add that to the list…especially in the section where you go get your furniture from.

19 08 2008
former lurker

i hate ikea cuz i ALWAYS get lost in there!!! like a little kid that can’t find his momma…except i’ma grown ass woman that can’t find the damn exit!

maybe it’s just me….

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Ha ha, former lurker you are definitely not the only one! It’s pathetic, I’m like “Wait I thought the exit was by the Uuundnor bedroom sets? Crap, how did I end up in the Floksvik bathroom? Heeeelllpppp!”

19 08 2008
Jeresmom

WTF at the wake story?

19 08 2008
sarah

LMAO @ Knat

you sound just like yuppie assholes here in DC who make poor, urban living sound so chic. only they can take stuff like open floor plans and lofts and charge people a million bucks to live in them. i could never pay $600K to live in a studio. i dont care if it does have a view of the capitol.

but, i too love an open floor plan.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Ok, um are we mad at Chaotic?

…yes, I admit to having slight paranoia.

19 08 2008
Tamz

LOL @ The Doc Is In

I was done with everything when I saw even the mirrors in the restroom were for sale, tagged and named.

19 08 2008
Jeresmom

Okay all my comments to bing me up to date
LMAO at losing your data only cause I have had it happen and can laugh about it now
Haven’t seen The Dark knight, Pinapple Express nor the other movie, but plan to real soon
I HATE whoever put that Beyonceitis link up cause the reason I am so far behind has to do with me checking the site and dying from laughter
You can carry on now, lol

19 08 2008
LEO

I’m trying to get a new phone and i can’t decide between the blackbery pearl and shadow. If anybody have tmobil and have any of these phone, please share your experience.

19 08 2008
JG*

BLACKBERRY CURVE ALLLLLLLL THE WAY!!!!

19 08 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Sarah
My condo* is undergoing massive renovations, so by this time next year, I can enjoy that nice open floor plan, lots of natural light, without that high ass price-tag.

*I hate saying condo.

Chaotic – What did you do?

19 08 2008
Amadeo

Just cause you’re paranoid…doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Knat…I guess some ppl were pissed at my comments in the other post (that are purely based on observations)…

@ amadeo…are you sure? I swear someone was just in my window…

19 08 2008
LEO

I meant between Blackberry Curve (not pearl) and t-mobil Shadow.

19 08 2008
Knatural

Chaotic – So what. Don’t take it personally. That’s how the SBPH “family” functions. No?

19 08 2008
blackberry molasses

i dunno… my curve erases my call log and text log almost daily… but it could be because I have a billion high res pics and applications…

p.s. my name has NOTHING to do with my phone… that would be ultimate wackness

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Knat…I mean I got attacked as if I was creole or something…quite frankly, it scared me. I mean shoot, I wish I could say differently, but damn, I should start closing my eyes more.

19 08 2008
Cheekie

Knatural – “*I hate saying condo. ”

I can relate to this! I’m in the process of buying my first condo (I’s so proud!) and sometimes I feel all yuppie-like saying “my condo”. But, fuck it, I’m single with no kids, so I have to have SOMETHING to write off my taxes so Uncle Sam would stop pointing at me and shit.

Come to think it, I might be more down if I call my condo, “tax deduction”. As in, “Hey, yall! I’m having a tax deduction-warming party! Please come!”

19 08 2008
sarah

Choatic hush! i was verbally assaulted roundly in the Straight Hair comments section. i still have nightmares about it, but my perm keeps me safe at night.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

“All my life I have dealt with black people turning their backs on me, criticizing me, and what not, despite me being a black person.”

We got yo back Chaotic… you’re good peoples

19 08 2008
TheChad

i can’t even get t-mobile in NC…. even tho i live in the city… somehow talking to yall makes me feel like i live in the sticks…

i still got my trusty NEXTEL.. and i’ll never get rid of it because it gets a signal everywhere… i can get a signal in a walk-in freezer… NO blackberry can do that…

Knat – what’s wrong with saying condo? it’s better than saying “loft”

Chaotic – i ain’t mad atcha…

19 08 2008
Jen

I just have a peeve against statements that are valueless, obvious and divisive like “Black people are not the only ones who have suffered in this country” or sweeping generalizations against Black people which are based entirely on one’s narrow and naive experience.

I have been known to give verbal shankings behind statements like these, and what was said in the other thread is about as gentle of a response to something like that as you or anybody else can ever expect from my uncontrollably Black ass.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Chad…come to my neighborhood, bet you won’t get signal w/ your nextel. The only cell service we can get out here is Cingular/AT&T. Hell, my Cingular comes in everywhere.

and TY BenAfficial…

Awww…I now feel loved…

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Jen…my intention wasn’t for it to be a sweeping statement. It was meant to be an observation.

Seriously, I cannot multitask when it comes to typing and reading something else.

19 08 2008
sarah

i can’t buy a condo. esp in our market, the re-sale on condos is horrible. thats why, for the longest, only empty nester’s living in florida bought condos cause the only way to get rid of one is to die out of it. i hate renting, but i am having a hard time getting behind the concept of the condo. maybe i’ll buy a shitty Bmore rowhouse and “rehab” (hate that word more than the rest) it.

19 08 2008
Defiant
19 08 2008
TheChad

@chaotic – it happens… the beauty of this blog is that we don’t always agree on the topic, but nobody is afraid of airing out their opinions… hell, i got waxed on whatever day we were talking about greek-life but whatever…

until you see me, trust me… you ain’t seen bouncin’ back!

we can argue in the morning and talk about sex in the afternoon… you can’t get that anywhere else!

19 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Sarah

If you get one in the right place some of these rowhomes are dope…especially the three story joints. There are some new homes they built behind my job that are complete crap.

Mind you…a three story house in a shitty neighborhood will still suck donkey balls.

19 08 2008
JG*

IF your blackberry is deleting things it’s because it’s trying to free up space. You can go on ebay and buy a memory card cheap for it.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ chad…so very true.

By the way…why the fudge did I decide that I wanted to buy watercolors and charcoal from the art store today? I haven’t drawn/painted in so long (Hooter doesn’t count).

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Chaotic you will be alright….I felt like Stalin when I said I liked Baldwin Hills the other day….Jen=Ruthless Revolutionary, lol, but I felt she and myself were justified in the alleged “attack” no PERSONAL offense my across the lake blog friend…

See ya’ll in the morning…I’m out!

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Ikea is where good taste goes to die.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Condo fee’s up here in N.VA are straight ridiculous. It’s like paying a whole ‘nother mortgage.

19 08 2008
sarah

Amadeo, i am moving to Mt. Vernon this week. i plan on looking at some stuff for about a year first. i found some nice rowhomes in Mt. Vernon already selling for the low, low price of $45K. bananas!

but, re-sale scares the shit out of me. how is re-sale in Bmore? i only plan on staying for as long as grad school pays my tuition.

19 08 2008
Jen

Jen=Ruthless Revolutionary

is why I shut myself up in the other thread. I turn into superbitch when it comes to discussions about Black people.

Trespassers shot. Survivors prosecuted.

19 08 2008
Ethel

I thought Ikea was the “mcDonald’s” of furniture? Supersize me? Only if you want your furniture to fall apart!

19 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

OH I FORGOT!!!!!!

Baldwin Hills Season Finale Tonight! Baldwin Hills Party at my Crib!!!!

…give me a break I’m only 21:)

19 08 2008
Cheekie

The housing market is complete shit, but good for buyers…at least it is in Chicago. You can bid on homes for amounts that would’ve been considered an insult back in the day when it was a good market. And them interest rates are only about to increase as time goes on.

My condo fee is doable, it includes heat and water so I don’t have to worry about adding separate bills for those.

19 08 2008
Omar

@Sarah – Mt Vernon where?

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LOL@ Jen. Don’t feel bad girl, some things just need to be said. Nothing superbitchy about that at all.

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Ikea is where I go to die. I have a big problem with getting lost and spending hours in large fucking stores unable to make my purchases with ease. I went to that monstrosity in College Park quite a few times during my college career and I usually ended up on the verge of tears from frustration. I haven’t been to the new Brooklyn one yet because the idea of it makes me want to kill myself.

I usually don’t do this, because I think it’s tacky but I want everyone to know how much I FUCKING HATE IKEA:
http://thebeautifulstruggler.blogspot.com/2006/11/ikea-my-vietnam.html

19 08 2008
Omar

Ethel (20:33:09) :

“I thought Ikea was the “mcDonald’s” of furniture? Supersize me? Only if you want your furniture to fall apart!”

I’ve never had Ikea stuff fall apart but if McDonald’s food didn’t kill people it wouldn’t be so bad either, it ain’t going out material but if you got the munchies, shiiit…

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

I’ve seen condo fees in certain parts of DC as high as $900/month for a fucking one-bedroom.

My place overlooks the Nats stadium and you can see fireworks up close when the motherfuckers actually win a game. It’s romantical.

19 08 2008
sarah

i bought the Malm bed from Ikea 2 years ago. it cost $130 and has survived many late night affairs. the trick is to buy saturated wood colors, like the dark brown or the black. so my bed flows seemlessly in with my Crate & Barrel, West Elm, and Taget furniture.

where do you shop for furniture, Chris?

19 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Sarah

More people are moving into the city proper and some of them aren’t down with $1500 a month apartments so a lot of the 2520’s and EBP’s are buying rowhomes and fixing them up to be damned. Mt. Vernon is a pretty good area for that price…I almost wanted to ask…for real? Like on what street, but alas…I’ve been in rowhomes too long when I buy I need to be able to run around my house in it’s entirety.

@ Chris
Putting my hands over my ears and shaking my head

19 08 2008
TheChad

Jen – the world needs more revolutionaries… wear that badge with pride…

as far as i’m concerned all you need is one mic…

wtf chad again…

why does everything i say end up with a rap lyric…

19 08 2008
Cheekie

900 bucks a month for a condo fee? Un-fucking-heard of. What in the world does that fee like that supposed to cover? Another condo, I’d hope…

And I shudder to imagine what the mortgage was if the fees were that high.

19 08 2008
sarah

eww Chris, you live down the street from me 😦

19 08 2008
8th Wonder

Sarah, maybe yall can get romantical together.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Omar : ‘I’ve never had Ikea stuff fall apart but if McDonald’s food didn’t kill people it wouldn’t be so bad either, it ain’t going out material but if you got the munchies, shiiit…’

Ditto
—————–

SBPH: ‘It’s romantical’

Unacceptable language from an author, lol… then again, I guess whoever whrote this is technically an author too… http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512IyQ4xiwL._SS500_.jpg

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

No woman can handle my romanticality.

Nearly all my furniture came from West Elm.

19 08 2008
sarah

Amadeo, i feel you. i dont want a rowhome, nor a condo, but i want to put my money to good use AND i am a city slicker. i cant do the burbs. and since my school is paying me a handsome stipend, i might as well use that money wisely, right?! ugh! this is giving me a headache. i dont want to get stuck in a property. i want to move back to DC when i am done with school.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

You know, I got romantical with a pan of brownies earlier…

19 08 2008
blackberry molasses

@JG
will invest in a memory card today… i just can’t stand to take the picutres of my Ducati and my dream car (77 Camaro SS) off the phone… keeping them on my phone is like i’m showing off my children.

I know… SICK.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

I’m feelin’ that blog ST.

I definitely cosign that craptastic restaurant part. I am one who needs to be bribed in order to go shopping; usually with food, but Ikea is the one place where I’ll eat before I go there.

19 08 2008
Jen

I am so Texan I don’t even know what a condo fee is.

Take that, take that.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ blackberry M….go to either amazon or ebay for cheap mem cards…

19 08 2008
Omar

Sarah – I still need to know where the hell you are getting a rowhome for $45K.

19 08 2008
8th Wonder

Romanticalism is a state of mind.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Well a condo mortgage and maintenance fees in Brooklyn costs more than I’d charge for my right arm…. hence why you’ll have never heard me mention ‘my’ condo…

*SHAKES HEAD AT SELF FOR REMAINING IN NY*

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Jen…I don’t either.

Maybe its just a Jenn thing…

19 08 2008
sarah

Sarah, maybe yall can get romantical together.

i’m moving this friday. besides, if i weren’t, i dont shit where i eat. i’ve heard too many horror stories to date/mess with someone who lives in close proximity of my house.

in any case, i am too fat for Chris 😉

19 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Sarah – I still need to know where the hell you are getting a rowhome for $45K.”

She’s not buying a rowhome, she’s buying a tipi.

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Do those tipi’s come with master bathrooms? Can’t be doin the share thang

19 08 2008
Jen

B4Prez, you better move down South and get you some LAND.

19 08 2008
former lurker

hell, they givin away condos in atl right now…

19 08 2008
8th Wonder

Sarah, I FEEL it. One time I made the mistake of dating the dude that did all the repairs in my complex…he looked like John Legend, I thought it would work out, however….

he was crazy…

it was uncomfortable.

19 08 2008
Jen

@CD – it was an allusion to how diff the RE markets are.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ 8th wonder…i had a crush on the repairman at MSU…he was sexy. Me and my girls would find reasons to call him back to my place. He used to wear these tight ass shirts, and he was all muscly and looked like a caramel version of Shemar Moore with good teeth.

Sexxay!!!

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LMAOOOOO @ ST’s blog. Dangit I like the catblood lingonberry juice!

Blah, my apartment looks like a page out of an IKEA catalog. I can’t complain, I know my place in life. The shit is cheap and *fairly* sturdy…most of my furniture has survived three moves. It’s especially good for people like me who get rashes thinking about interior design (when I finally have respectable income I’ll leave all that to “my gay”). For now I like being able to walk into a warehouse see a room layout that is…unoffensive to the eye…and take the entire thing home in a big brown box.

19 08 2008
sarah

Sarah – I still need to know where the hell you are getting a rowhome for $45K.

it was over on Park Ave. i saw it listed a few months ago, but i dont know what is going on now. and i didnt see it in person; it was prolly a hellhole/tipi.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Jen…I know. Most apartments in my area are now government subsidized. Everything else is in a cloned subdivision.

Me? I live with my parents in a ranch brick on 1 1/2 acres of land, down the street from a chicken coup, a horse farm, and several corn fields.

…this is why I get scared shitless when I think of texas chainsaw massacre. If the power goes out, they’re coming for us first….we’re the only other blacks (the other family is across the street), on a dirt road.

19 08 2008
Omar

“She’s not buying a rowhome, she’s buying a tipi.”

Around these parts that tipi better have LoJack…

“He used to wear these tight ass shirts, and he was all muscly and looked like a caramel version of Shemar Moore with good teeth. ”

I hope he didn’t have Shemar Moore’s hair line…

19 08 2008
JG*

Yea* ATL is pretty much on fire. All these condo’s went up… NObody went in, they started givin’ em away.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Omar…thank goodness he didnt!

…but when he would come in with those glistening sexy arms and that nice round butt we all thought about pinching…

sexxay!!!

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

B4Prez- Shoot, whatever. NY IS RED HOT, dammit! I am having the time of my life, I am never leaving this place. My children will be raised in the borough of Brooklyn. Home prices be dammed, you couldn’t drag me kicking and back to DC. I can’t deal with “the new DC”. I know everywhere is changing, but i feel that Brooklyn (specifically the parts in which I dwell) will not lose as much of it’s cultural identity as other places have.

I’ve seen Jill Scott, KRS-1, Dj Premier, the Crooklyn Dodgers emcees, etc for free or damn near it this summer. I’m seeing Patti Labelle free next week. There are so many beautiful Black people here, I can’t leave! NEVER!

Am I wrong for trying to scare my new White roomate out of the house by listening to Arrested Development and Public Enemy? I did not move to Bed Stuy to live with 2520’s, this isn’t fair. I coulda went back to Hyde Park or lived in Fort Greene if I wanted that. He’s gonna fuck up my street cred!

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Yea, moving the hell out of NY has been on the to do list for a while. I can’t keep paying too many 000’s for the lovely view of my neighbors brick wall 6 inches away from my window.

@Jen – I heard Houston was pretty expensive these days.. Is that true?

@Former lurker – Is it really that easy to come across a condo down in Atl?

You’ll are about to make me put in my 2 weeks notice, lol

19 08 2008
blackberry molasses

@8thWonder

you just described my entire 2 years of living in STL… nothing more akward than being with your new boo and running into an old boo at the grocery store/laundromat/mall and having old boo ask new boo if you’ve done certain *things* with him yet… I WAS SOOO HAPPY TO LEAVE THAT DAMN CITY. It was too small and I like anonymity to cover up my sinful ways…

19 08 2008
modest-goddess

“having old boo ask new boo if you’ve done certain *things* with him yet”

the nerve! what you do with your orifices is your business!

19 08 2008
B4Prez

@ST – I feel u on what BK has to offer. However, I feel like it’s a dead end trying to get ur money’s worth here. I can’t be a 30 yr old NYer talkin about ‘my roommate’. Hell, I’m only 25, but I’m all ready tired of roommate being in my vocab. I saw KRS-1 this wkend…we’re u at Harlem fest?

19 08 2008
Omar

“Am I wrong for trying to scare my new White roomate out of the house by listening to Arrested Development and Public Enemy? I did not move to Bed Stuy to live with 2520’s, this isn’t fair. I coulda went back to Hyde Park or lived in Fort Greene if I wanted that. He’s gonna fuck up my street cred!”

You should try playing old Malcolm X speeches at random preferably at night…

http://www.brothermalcolm.net/mxwords/whathesaidarchive.html

19 08 2008
former lurker

B4Prez: in short, hell yes. not only foreclosures, but like someone already mentioned, they through up hella condos down here, and NOBODY is buying them. I almost signed on the dotted line for a brand new condo for $215k, two weeks later them hoes had an auction and people were walking away with those joints for like $110K.

19 08 2008
8th Wonder

Yeah, it was certainly too close for comfort and I will NEVER do it again. That fool used to call my phone back to back to BACK. I couldnt lie and say I wasnt home, gotta walk around the apt in the dark and shit.

No bueno.

19 08 2008
Jen

Hell no, Houston ain’t expensive. You can get a 25 – 2700 sq ft house for like $170k easy. 1000 sq ft 2 br apartment for $800/mo or less. There is no reason to own a condo in Houston. Only foreigners (ie: non-Texans) buy them. I mean, you can pay more to live in trendy neighborhoods with foreigners, but why bother?

Also, ST’s Ikea post almost made me teetee on myself. I think she feels the way about Ikea as I do about Wal-Mart. Except Wal-Mart is full of rednecks and Ikea is full of middle-middle class pre-yuppies.

19 08 2008
former lurker

is it naive of me to think that i could move to nyc and not have a roommate (without having to sell my body and or crack/cocaine to subsidize my income)? hell, the only reason i moved to atl instead of dc or nyc after graduation was cuz i could not handle another roommate experience, and the cost of living in atl was damn attractive

19 08 2008
Saun

NYC is cool while I’m in school and maybe a few years after but I can’t stay here forever either. Once you know that you can get a 5-bedroom house in NC or ATL for $185-250K and that same money won’t even get you a studio in NYC, you see things differently. I work too hard to live from check to check. I love all the culture/nightlife NY has to offer but I like my good credit rating more.

19 08 2008
Muse

I want everyone who doesn’t live in LA or NYC to shut the hell up about housing prices and “condo” expenses…. Yall don’t know what you are talking about.

19 08 2008
Jen

Former Lurker, that is very naive. You will end up renting a garage somebody converted into a “studio” in Crown Heights and cry every night to drown out the sounds of Buju Banton invading your cracked windows.

19 08 2008
B4Prez

@ST – U know that these days, unless ur moving to East NY, or Brownsville, u better make room for YT on the couch… and they won’t give a damn about Malcolm X blaring.. as long as rent stays within daddy’s ‘allowance’ range.

@Former lurker – Damn! Damn! Damn!

I’m just gonna get a cup and move into the subway with the likes of this:

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”

bwahahaha! Why does this girl I know have that as her status?

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Why does that bum look a bit like Jaime Foxx?

19 08 2008
former lurker

“You will end up renting a garage somebody converted into a “studio” in Crown Heights and cry every night to drown out the sounds of Buju Banton invading your cracked windows.”
MUHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

buju banton….lmao

DAMMIT. my aunt had a rent controlled apt. in nyc and moved back to damn north carolina after retiring….

19 08 2008
B4Prez

Jen – ‘Former Lurker, that is very naive. You will end up renting a garage somebody converted into a “studio” in Crown Heights and cry every night to drown out the sounds of Buju Banton invading your cracked windows.’

LMAO…let me find out u used to live up the street from me Jen..

19 08 2008

@ chris….

You soo romantical! you and your city view!

19 08 2008
B4Prez

@ former – I would slap my mama for a rent controlled apt here. U have to be either 71 and broke down, or 17 and broke down with 4 kids.

Feel free to slap ur aunt for letting that 1 get away

19 08 2008

“No woman can handle my romanticality.”

HA! You could have never dated a pisces woman then.

19 08 2008
sarah

Né, living by the Nats stadium is no picnic. its boring because, as far as up-and-coming neighborhoods are concerned, we are stuck in the -and- phase. it hasn’t come yet. there is nothing to do really, unless you walk over to 8th St. and during game days, its annoying as fuck to navigate through the hoards of “baseball fans” coming to root for the other team.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

for the miami goers: I think we should rent a house…like this one here is like $3k a week average…

http://www.vrbo.com/95115

19 08 2008
Tamz

I co-sign on Houston cheapness………everyone wants to live in/near the Medical Center so there are all these 3-story townhomes selling for like $300k all grouped together in a massive clusterfuck of no backyardery. You can look out a window and the next door neighbor is like an arm’s length away. Meanwhile, there are all these huge brand new houses for cheap but a far drive out. I used to love Houston but I hate it more and more every year. But where else am I going to move?

19 08 2008

“I want everyone who doesn’t live in LA or NYC to shut the hell up about housing prices and “condo” expenses…. Yall don’t know what you are talking about.”

FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!

19 08 2008
Jen

@Tamz – I know you are not paying 300k for those damn condos they stuck in third ward.

19 08 2008

“Why does that bum look a bit like Jaime Foxx?”

lmaooooo. You are so right!

Hmmm diva are you romantical?

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Ne…I try to be, but its not like I get any of the romantical kind of guys…

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Jen
Hell no! I just see them slowly taking over everywhere when I drive to school/work.

I’m doing apartment living until I finish grad school.

19 08 2008
Muse

A guy who can cut wood and paint a damn room a romantic to me. I’m tired of these feminine man-bitches running around trying to be more girlie than me.

19 08 2008

I know what you mean. I kind of feel like those days are dead. It’s not cool to be “romantic”.anymore I guess

19 08 2008
Omar

DC was getting close to as expensive as Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island before the bubble burst…

19 08 2008
BK24/7

You can do OK in Brooklyn if you’re willing to sacrifice. If you just have to live 20 mins. from the city or have to have all sorts of amenities right outside your door, you’re gonna pay.

Flatbush is a good area. The subways are close, Prospect Park is not far and you have the summer concert series at Wingate, where John Legend, Eyrkah Badu, and Jill Scott have performed this summer for free!

The hospital is close by too, but you may just want to bleed to death outside – It’s the hospital where they left the lady to die in the observation room while staffers just walked past her as she was lying face down.

19 08 2008
Edumucated

this might make you feel better about the laptop my dude… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHbrQqrgVgg

19 08 2008

lol @ mus…LA men

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ muse…I feel you. I love a guy who likes sports, likes to wrestle, and one that I don’t have to constantly question his sexuality.

19 08 2008

*muse

19 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Sarah Park avenue ain’t bad at all. It’s more dicey on the north side of north avenue…but even there ain’t bad. I know a couple that have a dope ass three story about 3 blocks north of north ave. Really nice place.

19 08 2008

I like a man’s man but a little romance never hurts.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Why all of the sudden do I have this desire to role play with a guy dressed as the handyman all oiled down? lmao!!!

Yes, i admit i have problems, plus a perverted thought process.

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

B4Prez- I feel you. I have accepted that I will probably be 30 talking about “My apartment” as opposed to my condo or my house ( I want to buy a brownstone eventually in Bed Stuy), but I’m sure I’ll be able to swing a decent 1 bedroom then. Regardless, the quality of life differences I have here versus my time in a 2-BDR in Northeast DC and my large 1-BDR in Hyattsville MD keep me from considering revisitng my old home. I guess everyone’s priorities are diffrent. I wont live in abject poverty just to say I’m a New Yorker, but I can sacrifice certain things for the time being.

I have this whole albulm my dad gave it to me for Kwanzaa (yes, we actually celebrate Kwanzaa and always have. It doesn’t feature the speeches but it has the classic tune I had to sing as a child:

What man is our enemy?
Who perfected Slavery?
Took our souls and made us be
Fools without a memory
White man, you just ain’t no good
Always talking brotherhood
Now we’ve got you understood
Malcolm X is kindling wood

My parents were later upset when they decided I hated white people. Talk about mixed messages, lol. I wouldn’t be so cruel as to play it loud with a White roomate though.

19 08 2008

I soo want wooden floors now.

19 08 2008
Omar

“A guy who can cut wood and paint a damn room a romantic to me.”

Cut wood??… This is why we have Ikea.

Paint a damn room??… This is why we have illegal immigrants.

19 08 2008

a handyman with the suspenders and no bra on?

19 08 2008
Muse

LA men have vaginas.

Speaking of vaginas, my wax lady called me today to tell me she is leaving the country for several weeks. Bleh. Either I have to make it in by tomorrow, grow a wild bush, or go to her Russian coworker who I strongly believe is a sadomasochist.

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

This dumb White woman just came in the coffee shop I am in and LOUDY announced to the White boy behind the counter that she had just bought a townhouse around here and asked “Is this a nice neighborhood?” YOU DUMB CUNT, you ask that before you buy. I guess she just wanted more White perspectives about the “new” Bed Stuy. All of the Black folks in here killed her with their eyes.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Y’all are making me miss my apartment. Outside of the bug problem and the constant broken toilet issue (I swear sexxay probably didn’t want to fully fix the toilet just so he could flirt back with me and my girls)…

But yea…it was small, but I loved the wood floors and the bedrooms were spacious.

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ ChaoticDiva
…….You mean like Overton from Living Single?

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

ST – I love your parents for that, LOL

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LMAO @ Muse. There’s got to be a ton of quality places in LA to get your cooter defuzzed.

19 08 2008
19 08 2008
Jen

Who waxes? And do you do strips or hard wax? I am going in for my first waxing experience, and am seeking opinions from all I can, although I am a little hesitant to just call somebody and ask about that in real life.

P.S. I wish I had this Malcolm X Memorial recording when I was living in the Bronx. It would have surely scared off my coke addict ex-roommate from Rhode Island.

Memories…

19 08 2008
BenAfficial

Romanticalicism died after these dudes left the scene…

Troop baby!

19 08 2008
Muse

Wax (the place i go to) is one of the best in LA. Besides my vagina has adapted to certain waxing techniques. I can’t just up and go to any ole place and have them touch my goodies like that. Some folks don’t know how to handle cooters.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ tamz…I don’t think I recall ever seeing Overton topless…lmao.

like Morris Chestnut with dirty denim, construction boots, and a toolbelt.

*sweats*

19 08 2008
Muse

Jen hard wax is a new technique but please be sure that the person knows what they are doing or else they can rip two layers of skin off your vagina. Since you are a beginner I highly recommend that you go with traditional waxing.

19 08 2008
BK24/7

ST, have you ever looked at one of the neighborhood blogs or message boards? Check out Brooklynian.com. You’ll find plenty of 2520’s asking about Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights as they just got a cheap apartment. “Is this block safe?”

I’ve also enjoyed laughing at their stories of getting robbed or harassed. I don’t like to make light of other peoples misfortunes, but when they say they live at Eastern Pkwy and Franklin, I’m like “You live there? That’s why you got robbed dude!”

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Benafficial

*screams* Omg!!! That is my song!!!

I was also an All 4 One girl….Does anybody remember 3T when they were actually cute?

19 08 2008
sarah

Muse, please give details about waxing. i am a lazy bitch when it comes to shaving, so i decided to bite the bullet, or leather strap, and get waxed from the waist to the ankles. whats the first time like? will i cry?

19 08 2008
Jen

Between some of the comments I’ve gotten from gfs (“I cry every time I do traditional waxing”) and this new info about ripping off two layers of skin, I think I may have to forego waxing altogether.

WHAT THE HELL??

19 08 2008
Cheekie

TRIPPIN’ @ slow ass mofos asking “Is this block safe?” after buying/renting a place.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ muse…I heard there’s another wax technique thats good for black skin that has used retinoid therapy in the past. For some reason, I can’t get my eyebrows waxed anymore, even though its been a year since I’ve used retin-a…

19 08 2008

ST when you say the new bedstuy are you talking atlantic and nostrand?

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

I dunno Muse, I think hard waxing is actually gentler. I’ve also found it to be more effective as it can get shorter hairs and get all up in ya crevasses better (lol). As with anything cooter-related you have to get recommendations and find a quality spot.

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Jen:
Are you in Houston?
I do the hard wax but they know what they are doing at this place. It hurts the most the first time, but if you take a painkiller or two it’s not toooo bad.

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

My cooter is scared…I dunno if I want to let someone rip all the hair off my cooter. However, it would be nice….shaving gives me a nice workout w/ all that bending and stretching…lol.

19 08 2008
Omar

“I’ve also enjoyed laughing at their stories of getting robbed or harassed. I don’t like to make light of other peoples misfortunes, but when they say they live at Eastern Pkwy and Franklin, I’m like “You live there? That’s why you got robbed dude!””

@B4Prez – This type of stuff is hilarious to me because they act like it just got bad when they got there. We got a neigborhood in DC named Trinidad and recently there have been some shootings but they running around acting like that place ain’t been rotten as hell for like the past 30 years.

19 08 2008
Jen

Where do you go in Houston??

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ The Doc Is In

I prefer hard wax to traditional wax (this is assuming that you have an awesome waxer).

19 08 2008
chaoticdiva

i wonder if oragel would work for numbing…

19 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Me too Tamz.

19 08 2008
Muse

If you use any form of retin A stay away from waxing or you will mess up your skin.

Sarah, there isn’t a hard science to waxing. The first time is going to hurt because you are pulling thick hairs from your gentalia which is one of the most sensitive regions on your body. However a good waxer will minimize the pain. My first time years ago it only hurt probably 2 seconds. Anyway a good waxer will make sure that the area is clean and disinfected prior to waxing. My waxer sprays a numbing agent on my vagina and waits about five minutes before proceeding to wax which helps a lot. AT this point waxing doesn’t really hurt me because I do it so often and the hairs grow back much thinner. I heard honey based waxes are the best (there are other kinds). If your waxer is good, the process shouldn’t take longer than 7 minutes.

19 08 2008

I will never go back to shaving.

Waxing can be addictive. I get my legs and under arms waxed to. It hurts the first time though. I mean really hurts!!!

19 08 2008
Tamz

Helena’s Brazilian Wax: http://www.helenasbrazilianwaxandspa.com/

Don’t get Christina; she was too rough but most of the others do a great job. I would recommend telling them to let you know when they are about to pull a strip off. If you inhale deeply right when they pull it, it hurts less.

19 08 2008
Muse

Doc, hard waxing is good if you have an experienced waxer. I heard stories where women get their vaginas all messed up because some idiot didn’t know what they were doing. I’ve tried both techniques and gotten great results.

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Muse:

7 minutes?! I thought we were talking about brazilian waxes instead of bikini waxes. Well…….carry on then.

19 08 2008
Muse

Tamz my lady gets my waxing done in 7 minutes and I go full brazilian. She’s fast and very thorough if you know what I mean.

19 08 2008
sarah

Omar, white people moving to Trinidad is prolly the funniest thing about gentrification ever! i didnt grow up in the hood in DC. i’m from Mt. Vernon Square. my parents would let me traipse around Sursum Corda before they would let me go to Trinidad, and that was in the ’90s. shit hasnt gotten any different, except for YT moving in.

19 08 2008
Jen

Thanks Tamz!

19 08 2008
former lurker

your first time is gonna hurt like hell, but if they are good, and you tell them it’s your first time, they be as gentle as possible.
don’t go full brazilian the first time (my lady wouldn’t let me, in fact she laughed when i told her it was my first time and i wanted a brazillian wax…the punahnee just isn’t ready for all that yet)

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Muse:
Dayum! Is that with hard wax or traditional wax?

@former lurker:
My first time was a full Brazilian……you can do it, you just gotta get yo’ mind right, lol!

19 08 2008
Tamz

@ Ne

For some reason getting my legs waxed hurts more than the Brazilian in certain parts. The place I go to switches to the traditional wax for legs though.

How long do you have to let underarm hair grow before you can wax it? A week?

19 08 2008
Tea

ST you’re going to see Patti Labelle this weekend for free?! Where?

Brooklyn rent is freaking ridiculous my brother rents a tiny ass sudio for $1100 on the corner of Fulton & Throop and $1600/$1500 for one bedrooms, in Bed-Stuy, I never thought it would happen.

Someone really needs to let these YT’s know what the deal is in the Stuy before they get here. Crack heads are selling all kinds of computers, ipods, mountain bikes and shit, lately.

19 08 2008

Yea about a week. It’s gonna HURT like a mofo!

19 08 2008
Tea

“My first time was a full Brazilian……you can do it, you just gotta get yo’ mind right, lol!”
Hell yeah Tamz! Wheeeeeeew, that’s I got to say!

I had a Russian lady named Olga that used to do mine. She was thorough, too thorough, I used to be like “chill Olga its cool if you leave a couple of hairs, damn!”
But I find if you leave a landing strip it seems to hurt a little less, idk.

20 08 2008
shabooty

landing strip is for old bitches and fat chicks.
and old fat cunts.
the only thing mutually exclusive is my projectile vomit at the sight of their half-merkins.
:]

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Too funny… I just saw that Tamz is using the same Brazilian Wax shop than I do…

Small world indeed.

I have to co-sign. They do a great job. And I get the bald head. It’s noiice.

20 08 2008
Angry IV

All –

I’m parting out my old Dell D800 Laptop. If anyone wants any specific parts, let me know.

Also, if anyone has any old laptops and has no use for the hard drive, let me know. I like to salvage them and rebuild and all that.

20 08 2008
Angry IV

Parts can be had for a nominal fee, of course 😉

20 08 2008
Dark IS Beautiful

Dang I JUST turned on my computer and I missed all the fun 😦 Anywho. I havent seen the Batman movie yet but I hear great things

That video clip was hilarious!! “Is it a noun? A declarative sentence?”
Batman’s voice reminded me of those unforgivable videos. Too funny!

Sorry to hear about your lose Chris. I would be so pissed!

20 08 2008
shabooty

i thought the video was sort of ‘hacky’.

20 08 2008
Vanita

If your gonna get a brazillian get drunk and or high. I hate gettin my eyebrows waxed, so Im sweaty than a mofo when its time to go bald. But my bf kisses it and makes it all better, so its worth it 😛

20 08 2008
Tamz

*high fives Ms. Sula*

20 08 2008
Tea

Fluck you Shabooty,
part of the middle area is very sensitive so I punk out a shave it down after getting a landing strip

“my bf kisses it and makes it all better, so its worth it”
Lol, Vanita that’s what I think about when I get it done, it helps to get me through

20 08 2008
puff

waxing eyebrows makes me feel like i’d have chickenface. i get mine threaded.

20 08 2008
Dark IS Beautiful

I’ve been getting my eyebrows waxed so long that it doesnt even bother me anymore. I’ve even doing them myself now. *Warning-You will come into some f-ups when you experiment on your own. I’m good now but there was one time when I waxed off my whole left eyebrow. Very embarassing and I had to draw on that sucker for a long time. It especially sucked ass when it rained lol

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ puff..I do threading as well (well I get it done…lol).

20 08 2008
ViK

I can’t top the standing wake story, but this is close. SMH

20 08 2008
b4prez

@Tea – Ur bro lives1 stop away from me on the A train. Even though they’ve been gentrifying that area heavily, trust that it is still a day around the way right there. But it is happening faster than in my neck of the woods. How is 5 blocks up the street so different????? Only in NY.

@ST – I feel u on good ole’ aspects of NY. But u better try and strike while the market is cooling here. if I didnt work for a cheap ass publishing company i’d be on it, myself. But as much as I complain, we do get some great summers here in the city.

@Amadeo – I feel u brotha, but the YTs know wasup in NY. They are sucking it up that they live across/a block away from the projects becus they know whats to come in 2-3 yrs. They’ll be running every city now that it’s kool to live in the neighborhoods their parents abandoned to the poverty-stricken. I see them everyday getting side eyes at the train station.

20 08 2008
sarah

Thanks Muse & former lurker and i think i might take your advice Vanita 🙂

i concur about getting eyebrows threaded. mine look so good and i hate getting them waxed.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ ViK

That shyte is hilarious. The “braid extensions strewn about” took me back to high school.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Damn. I missed a lot.
In defense of Ikea – not everything there is horrible or reflects bad taste. I like their sofas and knick-knacky stuff. West Elm? C’mon, some of that stuff is severely overpriced, but they do have amazing sales, cute stuff. For me the key to furnishing my home is variety, not straight-out-of-the-catalog/showroom. It’s like buying an outfit straight off the mannequin.

And where in DC does eyebrow threading?

20 08 2008
Knatural

By the way, last night I dreamt that me and Shabooty were dating. It was…weird. Really, really, weird.

I need to stop coming here. This ‘blog’ is effecting my subconscious.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Knat

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 08 2008
sarah

Knat, i go to Threads on 15th and L NW. They have a 15th and U NW location, but the former is close to my job. its about $15, but i’d rather pay more for a better experience.

20 08 2008
puff

@ knat – oh my goodness that was hilarious and so just made my morning.

i’m only around dc on occasion, but i was at arundel mills yesterday and there was a woman doing threading there. they also do it at the aveda in georgetown but they make you pay out of the ass for it.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Thanks Sarah. I need to check that out.

The Shabooty dream: he wore shades the entire time and kept offering me licorice. Though I’ve seen him person briefly, I didn’t hear him speak, he sounded like Borat or some kind of vampire.

20 08 2008
sarah

There are a few places in DC that do it, but Threads had the higher rating, so i tried them out and loved it. the location is off-putting, cause its just a small room with two chairs, some sari’s thrown around, and Zee TV playing on full blast, but they do the job so swiftly, you’re in and out in 10 minutes, 20 if there is a wait.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

“I come for the sucking of your blood”

20 08 2008
Knatural

Shabooty doesn’t like me (for whatever reason), so he won’t appreciate this…AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

20 08 2008
Jen

Clearly I was supposed to be a man.

I arch my eyebrows with a razor. Not even a loose razor. One of those pink disposable things people use to shave their legs.

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Sarah, I heard threading was really painful, is that true? And how much longer does the hair stay gone in comparison to waxing?

20 08 2008
Amadeo

Ummm I hope you aren’t equating arching your eyebrows with manhood…unless you’re referring to Mr. Spock…he was the man.

20 08 2008
Jen

No, sir! My eyebrows (and me) generally look fine. I just seem to get there in a very unfeminine fashion.

I just have never done any of the spa things or even go to the salon a whole lot–maybe 4 times per year, generally to prep for some occasion.

20 08 2008
puff

damn jen – i’d be too scared i’d cut my eye open or something (i’m also extremely phobic of ish being near my eye). so i leaves it to the professionals. i’ve only ever plucked or threaded though.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jen

Did you hear FOX studios is suing to stop The Watchmen from coming out?

Another reason to hate FOX.

20 08 2008
20 08 2008
Knatural

The Watchmen? Why?
I can’t wait to see that movie.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Washington Heights in NY is full of YTs. Moving in so they can be “cultured” because no one there speaks English. Last time I was there some couple had the nerve to tell a woman running one of the little restaurants that they couldn’t understand her and if there was anyone who worked there who spoke English. Prices aren’t too bad there right now but they will be.

There are rowhouses going in Anacostia right near MLK and Good Hope for $300 already. There are a few few Latinos in the neighborhood, but I saw my first white person a few weeks ago. They are coming…

20 08 2008
Cheekie

Re: Eyebrow threading

Is that even sanitary? I watch ladies do that and sometimes the customer bleeds…but then I see the threader lady put the thread in her mouth (for what I don’t know) then proceed to thread again. Soooo, ain’t her spit all over the customer’s bleeding eyebrow now? Ew.

20 08 2008
sarah

8th Wonder, i hate to say this, but it depends on your personal pain threshold. i have a very low tolerance for pain, but i prefer to get my eyebrows tweezed rather than waxed. it’s weird. if waxing is fine by you, stick with it. getting eyebrows threaded can be unpleasant, but i think waxing is a horrible experience. besides, they work so fast and use powder, so its not too bad after the first time.

has anyone else noticed there is a small smiley at the bottom left hand corner of the webpage? it freaks me out!

20 08 2008
Amadeo
20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Knat – I go to Threads, it’s at Vermont and L. There are plenty of bourgie places in DC that do it, but they do it at a good price and are quick and do a great job.

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LOL, okay too funny, I see Sarah already recommended. Great minds…

20 08 2008
Amadeo

No really story.

Why do I always fuck up links?

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

@ Sarah, okay thanks. I guess I’ll just stick to waxing, it doesnt hurt anymore…no need to get new pain, lol.

20 08 2008
Jen

Fuck you, Fox. I won’t watch another one of your fucking films or watch any of your shitty television programming until I see Watchmen. Lovers of freedom, do the same or the terrorists have already won.

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Cheekie – ew, I don’t know what they were doing, I’ve never seen someone bleed from threading since they should only be pulling at the hair, not the skin. But even still, the end of the thread that’s in the mouth isn’t doesn’t (or shouldn’t) touch your face.

I don’t think it’s painful at all, just a weird pinching feeling. But I have a pretty high pain tolerance, I don’t even flinch getting Brazilian (Japanese) waxes.

20 08 2008
puff

@ cheekie – yeah, threading should most definitely not cause bleeding, it doesn’t even hurt that much…. the chick obviously didn’t know what she was doing.

20 08 2008
Cheekie

Oh, okay, thanks for the info, Doc and puff. I didn’t think that looked right, then again, it might be because it was one of those “eyebrow threading/arching in a kiosk in the middle of the mall” places. I’m not sure why they were bleeding (not profusely, just little droplets)…may be because of the hair pulling…it pulled too hard? No idea, but it wasn’t a good look.

20 08 2008
sarah

i’ve heard of people bleeding, but when you have threading on every block, like in Chicago, i bet its a common occurrence.

20 08 2008
puff

i live in nyc and i get mine done at this lil indian salon just below spanish harlem called praba… $7 and they get my shit tight. i tend to trust indians who do threading, probably from being in england as they always have that beauty stuff on lock.

20 08 2008

NEW POST?

20 08 2008
Edumucated

it is a little quiet. What am I supposed to do at work if no one is talking on here. I damn sure am not trying to actually do what I get paid to do.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Ne

For real…what, am I expected to do work?

20 08 2008
B4Prez

@Edumacated –

I don’t know when the last time u were in NY was, but Washington Heights isn’t exactly affordable either. It’s as bad as Harlem these days. And the YTs are taking over both… and everywhere else.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Not that I could add much expertise to the whole waxing conversation, but at least it gave me something to read.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

The heights isn’t cheap, especially with Columbia taking over the entire city, but around 177th to 184th between Broadway and Audubon there are still some nice priced apartments. The YTs love Casa Del Mofongo though. As I said before, they love to feel cultured. I prefer Malecon on 175th and Broadway though, they are still pretty cheap. At least we still have Hunts Point though right?

20 08 2008
Edumucated

how many times can I use the word “though” in a post, I need to proofread

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I Veet! Or Nair…for the eyebrows, all it takes is a q-tip…PAIN FREE & Veet has no bad smell like Nair and yes, I Veet EVERYTHING but the Sexy-Strip 😉

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Did you all see the story on MTO about the guy that asked his family to has his funeral wih him standing up?! Yes the actual photos are on MTO, for some reason I can’t paste the link, it’s really disturbing because A.) he seemed young like in his 20s B.) he is dressed in the young thuggary-type get ups that you see “around the way niggas” wear (God rest his soul) and C.) his family actually complied with that…sorry but there is no way in the world I would (God Forbid) let have my child’s funeral with him propped up like he’s in a wax museum…not even if it were his last wishes…lo siento mijo

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

sorry for all the spelling errors…i get passionate about funeral ettiquette (sp?)

20 08 2008
willnotbetelevised

Sally Hansen has a Veet/Nair thingie for facial use. Q-Tip it for underarch too.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Jess, someone posted the link a while back. I just don’t really get it, what reason would someone have for wanting to be posted on the wall during their funeral? despicable (in the daffy duck voice)

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Ugh! Veet does not work for me. Nair and Sally Hansen both work, but they everloving stink!!!

As for the funeral thing, wtf? And I’m glad you didn’t post the photo links….

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

It was SUPER wrong…I was shocked, I hate going to funerals and the person is dressed in their street clothes too! There is a time and place for everything! I couldn’t believe it…I have never seen anything like that in my life…and i’ve got 21 years of hapahazard-negroidian-shameful occurrances that i have been exposed to

20 08 2008
TheChad

hey if yall are bored waiting on chris to wake up from whatever he did last night you can read one of my old stories on facebook! i like new readers and feedback… its in parts so if u click the ‘previous’ button it’ll take you to the next part…

enjoy…

http://www.new.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=2230892838&id=2703815&index=34#/note.php?note_id=6356482838&id=2703815&index=33

20 08 2008
Amadeo

When I die I don’t care what they do with the body…burn it and toss the ashes. I do want a picture of me somewhere and a bunch of booze to encourage people to drink and say good thing about me.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

I want a coffin that has a car alarm on it, so if anyone tries to run up on a dead me “Protected by VIPER, Stand Back” I would also like to be buried in some Stunna shades, a fitted, with a grill, in a velour suit and cheetah print lining on the inside of the coffin. lol

thoughts?

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I want a traditional wake and funeral…but I don’t want to be buried-it freaks me out, we have a plot in a graveyard here with all my family members and i cry uncontrollably just knowing that they (at least their bodies) are right beneath me…I want to be cremated, but i would like a headstone or mosoleum so that my people can visit it and do all that emotional stuff

I HATE GOING TO THE GRAVEYARD MORE THAN WAKING UP AT 5AM, HUNGOVER AFTER NOT GETTING HOME UNTIL 4AM!!!

20 08 2008
B4Prez

I’m with Amadeo. I don’t want a funeral. I’m sure there will be a better way for my fam to spend the thousands of dollars that they cost. They can cremate me, and just have a memorial/party.

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

I am still trying to decide between being cremated and offering my body for science…

If only my mom knew… 🙂

20 08 2008
TheChad

when i die i want people to throw a party…

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers is a great book about the “death process” and your post-mortem options, it’s informative and funny but respectful. One thing they bought up was the trend of the body being “mulched” and used to plant a tree or something. I love that idea, a living memorial in death and what not.
But even though I’ll have my preferences, I think it’s just as much about your next of kin and what will help them cope. I mean if it would absolutely kill my widower, kids, whoever, to have anything other than a traditional funeral, then into the big box I go.

20 08 2008
willnotbetelevised

Umm offering your body to science is good b.c. there’s not enough cadavers to go around for medical students. however you are offering your body to be cut up by med students for at least 4 months. take as you will (i’ve seen it and i’m not doing it). My body will hopefully be carved into bits and harvested for all its useful parts to be transplanted in someone else. You can do whatever with the bits. i’d kinda like it to be buried so some green grass and stuff can grow on top but cremation is cool too. Just dont spread my ashes in some public place (like the beach sand of the olympics) b.c. thats creepy.

20 08 2008
Dekela

one of my Aunt’s request is to be buried nekkid with her ass in the air.

Her rationale is that everyone can kiss her black ass (and its a big one) one last time.

We haven’t decided whether or not we will honor that request..

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I want to donate my organs first THEN cremate me! I ain’t tryna end up in no damn Body Worlds Exhibit with my skeletons hitting lay ups that i could never do while I was living!

20 08 2008
willnotbetelevised

hmm yea, its not really my choice at that point is it. you’re right doc. Oh well as long as they harvest the organs and give them to some deserving [hopefully black] person (fucking racist ass organ donation bastards) I’m happy.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I want to donate my organs first THEN cremate me! I ain’t tryna end up in no damn Body Worlds Exhibit with my skeletons hitting lay ups that i could never do while I was living!

20 08 2008
willnotbetelevised

I like your aunt dekela

20 08 2008
Amadeo

My mother wants to be creamated…I told her I would take the rest of the money and go on a cruise to ease my sorrow.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

lol@dekela

I’d like to donate my organs, but I’m not checking that box on the back of my license. The doctor’s not about to pull the plug on me so his pops can get a new kidney.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I love how suspicious Black folk are of the Organ Donation/Body to Science process is! lmao

20 08 2008
Dekela

lol yea she is a trip, and she is serious too. Wrote it in paperwork and everything

20 08 2008
Tamz

LMAO @ JessAKA Rabbit

I told my husband if I die before him, I want my ashes sitting in plain view for widow-preying hoes to see. Maybe I should ask for a pic of me frowning to be taped to the jar too.

20 08 2008

when I die I will be buried in a white dolce gabbana suit

20 08 2008
willnotbetelevised

Oh I want a urn of ashes with my face on one side frowning and on the otherside happy. I’m going to pop back as a ghost every once in awhile and turn the urn around depending on if my decedents are acting up or not.

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ dekela’s aunt!!!

I want to be donated to science. I was in the sciences, and i know one thing…there are so many schools that lack stuff for students to learn. I ended up transferring (unwillingly) to a school like that (which is why I’m struggling not to flunk out of Accounting, blah).

20 08 2008
Tamz

@B4Prez

I was just about to say the same thing! Like as soon as I get that sticker on my license something horrible will happen and they’ll be like: Welp, we tried! *flatline*

20 08 2008

standing up in the corner of my parents den doing the bent down jail pose

20 08 2008
Defiant

Drop my body in a jungle or forest somewhere and let the animals have at it. The Earth has given me everything during my life, I feel I should return the farvor the best way I can.

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

” Tamz (17:35:16) :
I told my husband if I die before him, I want my ashes sitting in plain view for widow-preying hoes to see. Maybe I should ask for a pic of me frowning to be taped to the jar too.”

LMAO! I love it!

20 08 2008
Yonnie3k

What the hell? Negro – this AIN’T TUESDAY!!!

20 08 2008
Jen

My only hopes surrounding death is that I die during the day with my makeup fully applied.

20 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Tea- Your brother lives really close to me, same train stop. Is he tall, cute and single? LOL. Patti Labelle is gonna be at Wingate next week at 7:30, same place where the Jill Scott and E. Badu shows were. Good times.

I cannot Veet. It BURNS! I have sensitive skin. Nair and Sally Hansen leave your skin so soft, but that smell….lord. Once, when I was in HS, I decided I wanted my whole body to be as silky as my legs were after using Nair, so I slathered it over everything from the shoulders down. BIG MISTAKE. It burned my breasts so bad, my nipples bled. 😦

20 08 2008
Jen

@ST – my roommate took the skin off her legs using Nair in undergrad.

P.S. YOU HAVE BEEN OUTED AS A CREOLE!!! I saw the last post on your blog, missy.

20 08 2008
Sister Toldja

If I die, I want my great-great grandkids to respect my wishes and scatter my ashes in Lake Michigan at the Point in Chicago after my organs had been donated. Then, they can do some fireworks, BBQ and get drunk at my wake. I want my (nationally televised) funeral at Rankin Memorial Chapel on Howard’s campus.

20 08 2008
Sister Toldja

What? LOL! I am not Creole, I’m just light skinneded! What are you talking about?

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Lol @ Jen calling ST a Creole!

Ok, in ST’s defense, if memory serves me correctly she has never been to the South so she can’t really be a Creole now can she? Or maybe a Chicago-an Creole? Now that’s what’s up! 🙂

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Let me find out ST has been ‘passin’

20 08 2008
Dekela

LOL @ ST “great-great grandkids…”

Pretty optimistic about our lifespan aren’t we? I suggest you get started popping them out now

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

JEN:

What makes someone Creole? Is it a term for mixed people from Louisiana, my paternal side comes from Louisiana (last name Lafayette), among other southern states, but there’s been so much mixing on that side (Native American, Latino and Asian) that I really have no connection to it. Do you speak Creole too?

20 08 2008
Omar

Creole is basically black people who didn’t want to be black…

“Everybody want to be a nigger but don’t nobody want to be a nigger” – Paul Mooney

20 08 2008
Jen

Between ST’s surname on FB and her Dad’s (and we won’t even get into the litebriteness), she CREOLE. Welcome home, cher. Have some gumbo.

Creole people are people who are at least partially descended from French settlers in Louisiana.

No, I don’t speak creole. I use some creole phrases, but I didn’t even know that’s what they were until after I graduated from high school, moved to Florida and people started asking me if I was Haitian.

20 08 2008
Jen

Omar, that is not true at all. Black Creoles will smack the shit out of you if you try to tell them they are not Black.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Omar

I fricking love Paul Money.

@ Jen

Do you put ne’ at the end of your sentences? That’s sexy. What’s ill is I have various sayings and things in my speach, but I didn’t pick most of it up from people…I got it from reading and I can’t shake it.

20 08 2008
Meka

Are these doctored photos? Surely no one comes out of the house (or in some cases stay in the house) looking like this?

http://youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com/

20 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Jen- AHHAHAHAHAHAH! My last name on FB is Tresvant as in Ralph. I have also been a B. Sure and Debarge. I don’t put my real last name on Facebook. My dad’s surname is my real one, but we are the decendants of a French-Canadian Black man or a Hatian, depending who you ask. Shoot, I wish I had family from the N.O, they have drive through daquiri shops.

Ms Sula- You know me well! I’ve never been further south than Virginia, I am too scared of the lynch mobs. Seriously, there are parts of even Virginia where it wouldn’t surprise me if they still had share croppers (if not slaves).

20 08 2008
Edumucated

word to me checking out the website Meka just sent and my boss walking by as soon as it opened. Not only am I looking at ass at work… but fat unattractive nonsense ass. Thank you Meka

20 08 2008
Edumucated

S.T. There is still a town in VA called Lynchburg. FYI

20 08 2008
Meka

@ Edumucated, sorry I forgot to warn you.

20 08 2008
Omar

The difference between share croppers and slaves is semantics…

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Should we be worried about SBPH? (note I only ask this *after* I’ve cussed him out about five times in my head for not having a new post up…grrr, I need something to help me keep procrastinating from writing a BS paper on polio).

20 08 2008
Jen

OH GODDDD, Amadeo, I am from Texas. I sound like I am from Texas. lol

ST, Haitians, hmmm? Are you from Chicago? Cause I just looked up “Creole” on the wikipedia, and it said that there are lots of Creoles in Chicago.

*sigh* I guess if somebody was Cajun, you can still have some gumbo.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

It’s ok Meka, maybe my boss is into that sort of thing. Maybe he will want to bond and give me a raise. lol His little Frodo Baggins looking self probably loves him some 300 lb “chocolate” sisters. lol

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I LOOOVVEEEE GUMBO!!!!! I’m hungry…baconator anyone???

20 08 2008
Knatural

I was about to take a cookie break and realized there’s still no post. 😦

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Edumacated

I enjoy Powhite, VA. Seeing that sign makes the drive worthwhile.

20 08 2008
Jen

Do the Dept. of Sanitation trucks in Powhite say “Powhite Trash”?

20 08 2008
Jen

@The Doc. I am sure he is a-okay. Maybe a little busier than usual?

20 08 2008
BenAfficial

Do the Dept. of Sanitation trucks in Powhite say “Powhite Trash”?

HA!
that’s too funny.

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Speaking on Creoles/Canadians in Chicago, one of my favorite books is by Lori Lansens.

It is very poignant.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jen

Holy Hell I didn’t think of that…I will be getting off the interstate next time just to search for one.

20 08 2008
BenAfficial

Unfortunately its just a parkway and not an actual part of the city of Richmond. And 2520’s like to pronounce it pow-hite.

=/

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Ok, I suck at links! Forgive me, the book is still really good though.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO @ Powhite

And yes…I do want a baconator

20 08 2008
Muse

Um where is Wednesday’s post?! Chris owes us an extra post this week. See how much of a blog addict I am? Oh well off to lunch.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Meka, don’t ever send me to sites with this kind of foolishness:

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Or this:

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ BenAfficial

So that means there’s potential for someone from out of town to really piss people off eh?

“Yeah I was just driving and figured I’d stop here in Po-white for a bite to eat.”

20 08 2008
puff

@ jen – lmao at you outing ST… this is what not having a new post does to us apparently.

speaking of photos, the damn argentine team hopped on the spanish teams shit too: http://msnukhomepage.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!7BDE7EE9F7039764!4890.entry

20 08 2008
Jen

“There sure are some beautiful ladies in Powhite. Ain’t nothing a man like me loves more than a Powhite woman.”

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ B4prez

So you know…my eyes are burning.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jen

You are evil and a corruptor….don’t ever change.

20 08 2008

Where the FEEEZY is the new post?

20 08 2008
Defiant

I think Chris is probably trying to catch up on all his lost work.

20 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Jen- Stop it! Yes, I am from Chicago but I am not Creole! My dad is a standard isssue mulatto born in Ohio and my mom’s people are from Little Rock, Arkansas.

Doc- The title of your paper should be “Polio: Why You Bringing Up Old Stuff?” and you can talk about how sugar diabetes is more relevant and important these days.

20 08 2008
puff

@ b4prez – what the fux up with the group portrait? *smh*

20 08 2008
Meka

@ B4prez, hahaha. I know that is your new background pic on your computer.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Back to funerals!!!!

Recall the zip-coon that asked for KFC for the rest of his life or some crap???

What would you want at your repass (the “after-death feast”)???

Chicken:fried, baked, smothered, bbq
BBQ
Shrimp
Watermelon! lmao
Fruit Salad
Chocolate Covered Strawberries
Red Beans and Rice
Puerto Rican RIce
Popeyes Biscuits
Sweet Baked Mac N Cheese
Baconators…as far as the eye can see! [i’m tearing up…]

20 08 2008
Tea

Thanks for the info ST
My brother dosent live there, he owns the building. He’s short, cute and taken a few times over. Sorry, LOL.
I used to live there but I’m up the block now

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

ROTFL at “Polio: Why You Bringing Up Old Stuff!?”

hahahahaha!!!!

20 08 2008
Poppcorrn

My dad is from Lynchburg, VA…no comment on it lynch-tasticness or lack thereof…

20 08 2008
Jen

Why You Bringing Up Old Stuff was out of order.

And, it’s official. I’m googling “baconator”.

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

ST: Thank you!! I mean whereas I feel kinda bad for the 1,000 people in the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD with it, I’m more concerned with actual epidemics like bitchassedness and lost work productivity due to “the itis”.

20 08 2008
Ms. Sula

“Thoughts For Wednesday: We beg for a new post.”

20 08 2008
The Doc Is In

“There sure are some beautiful ladies in Powhite. Ain’t nothing a man like me loves more than a Powhite woman.”

Can we please get a new post? Because out of boredom Jen seems to have taken to finding ways to get niggas killed, LOL.

20 08 2008
Knatural

I feel like a neck-scratching fiend right now. Where’s today’s post?

20 08 2008
LEO

I’m at work and i’m horny for no reason. I’m confused people!

20 08 2008
LEO

And i’m not looking at anybody interesting.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

DOC:
BitchAssNess: pronounced BITCH…ASS…NESS

Affects 1 out of 4 Urban Americans and 1 out of 2 2520 Americans
Symptoms: heavy breathing, fag-body attacks, sucka mc-ing, dressing like a douchebag or douchebitch, thinking you way betta than u is, sucking in life in general, mother wishing for a throwback abortion and diarrhea…

There is no cure, the only treatment is to be kicked in the nuts or bitch slapped by Sean “Diddy” Combs every third Wednesday of a month

Senator Barack Obama (D) has recently issued a CODE RED alert for BitchAssNess on the Crawford Ranch and wherever the fuck McCain and that hoe-bitch Hilary Clinton stay at

20 08 2008
Knatural

Since when do you need a reason to be horny?!?!?!?!

20 08 2008
LEO

@Knat. You know you are special right. LOL

20 08 2008
sarah

LEO, is trying to get the sex comments started in lieu of an actual post today. you aint slick! 😉

and B4Prez, i thought we had a talk about the baconator…

20 08 2008
B4Prez

You’ll know u like those pics, lol. That’s a whole lotta luvin over there, lol.

@Tea – Can a brutha get a hookup since urs owns the bldg???

20 08 2008
LEO

@Sarah. You got me. lol

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Can we talk for a minute about how Anacostia has a million and 1 mosquitoes and the rest of DC doesn’t have one? I got eaten alive last night, why can’t the mosquitoes go after the 2520s who have worked so hard at gentrifying Eastern Market and leave me alone.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Don’t send those fucking mosquitos my way! Keep ’em on that side of The Bridge…AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

20 08 2008
Amadeo

Just wondering…when the fuck did spanking become sexy. I got beat as a kid…you pull out anything that looks like you could hit me with it while my pants are down and I’m putting my dukes up.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Not that much of a mosquito problem this year in Wisconsin, but we have been known to have the mosquito that carry… WEST NILE VIRUS!

20 08 2008
Vanita

Hey all
Did yall see this damn video?
It made me so damn mad.
http://wpgc955.com/The-Most-DISTURBING-Video-You-Will-EVER-SEE-/2819344

20 08 2008
B4Prez

@sarah –

The baconator is worth diabetes, high blood pressure, heart defects, syphilis, shingles, polio, and my first born.

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I’m scared to open Vanita’s link…

20 08 2008
Vanita

I mean, if you love the innocence of children, dont. its damnnear child porn. just f-in terrible.

20 08 2008
Knatural

That little boy couldn’t handle it…

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Vanita, I saw that video…that little girl doesn’t stand a chance. SMH

20 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO @ Knat….ain’t no good gonna come to til u do right by that little boy

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Oh…kiddy porn??? I thought I was gon see some Emmitt Till ish…don’t need my co-workers to witness me crying in my cubicle

20 08 2008
Vanita

lost little girl. I hope we dont hear about how she writing a book later on in life.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

And they all need their azzes beat!

I know they weren’t all dancin, but hell, the rest of them were making a damn soul train line for ’em. SMH….

20 08 2008
aceklub

I have become a meatatarian because of the The baconator

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Vanita – ‘lost little girl. I hope we dont hear about how she writing a book later on in life.’

LOLOLOL… they all get their start somewhere…

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Vanita…I saw it…sadly I’ve seen worse…bitch-parents thinks its okay to dance or even have sex in front of their kids—->teenage parents, STD statistics, another zip-coon ass example of blacks for the MSM to feast upon…kids model behavior…ahhh jeez…what would Barack say!!!???

20 08 2008
sarah

Knat STOP IT!!!! 😆

20 08 2008
Amadeo

I think in that situation you are allowed to beat ever child in the room and all of their parents.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Wow to the video. Did you also notice this one that someone posted in the comments? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TzOa3zJ7-A

20 08 2008
overit

That link was terrible..it truly made me sad, I was waiting for an elder to come with a switch and tear her lil fast ass up…sigh.

Is it me or was she schoolin the boy, he looked like he was just doing what he thought he was supposed to do. She on the other hand, looked like she was born to do it…SMH.

do you guys see a growing divide between AAs in lower income neighborhoods and those who get out? What’s the future of the community?

20 08 2008
Amadeo

Them kids call they mama Pam.

20 08 2008
Meka

Jen, I have been meaning to ask if you attend Thurgood Marshall School of Law. My officemate from last summer just graduated from there.

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Amadeo…I agree.

And why the hell is she wearing a halter? She’s too young to have her back out.

But please let me find out where those kids go to school. I wouldn’t even whip them. I’d locate their parents (especially her’s) and beat the mother loving hoodrat hoochie out of them.

SMH. Damn people.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Damn. I need to hang out with tha dutty wine baby!

20 08 2008
Meka

My daughter knew not to dance suggestively or she would catch a fucking beat down! Surprisingly, el sperm donoro (that’s deadbeat dad in spanish) thought that shit was cute and had no problem with it. Bitchassness!

20 08 2008
former lurker

@vanita and everyone else that watched that video- What the figgity F*CK!!!!!!
thats a damn shame. that little boys balls haven’t even dropped yet and that girl was droppin her lil ass on him like she knew what she was doin….so damn sad. but what’s even sadder is that there are people that actually think that shit’s cute.

that chick gonna be pregnant by the time she’s 12.

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

The video posted in the comments at least is a home video with a little girl who can’t get the moves.

The original video is an excerpt from the new movie: Candi-eyes – the making of the baddest strippah bytch in de world!

20 08 2008
Amadeo

I’ve been looking for a nice brand of burlap sack to wrap my daughter in should I have one. I can’t follow her with a gun all the time.

20 08 2008
former lurker

“Candi-eyes – the making of the baddest strippah bytch in de world!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHaHAH
*dead*

20 08 2008
former lurker

why the hell don’t kids wanna be kids anymore?!?!? when i was that girls age, i was playing on my swingset and making mud pies in the back yard

20 08 2008
Vanita

overit – Yes I do see a divide in the AA community. its getting larger and larger each day. I was talkin to my bf about it. in philly they have this new cell company called metro PCS. you dont need any credit to have a phone, but it only works in the tri-state area (PA, NJ, NY). Now I think thats terrible, because its tellin the poor people that you dont gotta try to fix up your credit to have a phone. and you dont have to leave this area either. Instead, I think Verizon, ATT Sprint, Cingular and all other mobile phone companies need to offer a local plan, but dont encourage poor people to not establish/work on their credit.

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ amadeo…get her a habit. Nothing like the classic nun uniform that covers from her head to her ankles.

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Vanita…Metro PCS has been in Detroit since forever. I swear poor, ignorant black people thinking they were doing something positive came up with it.

@ Former lurker…i know right? When I was that age I was still afraid to like guys because i thought they would think I was gross and not want to play basketball anymore. (I was a bit of a tomboy).

20 08 2008
Jeresmom

@ Vanita, I look at Metro PCS this way, just because you don’t have good credit doesn’t meant you have to be disconnected fromt the rest of the country. And hell for 40 bucks a month, I am leaving T-mobile and taking my ass over there next week.

20 08 2008
blackberry molasses

OMG I couldn’t even make it past the first 10 seconds of the video… that little girl, her parents, the ass holding the camera… all need the ass whoopin of their lives!

20 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Chaotic:

You are kidding about the documentary…please say that was a joke!

SMDH

20 08 2008
Vanita

The girl is the ONLY one wearing a halter! Everyone else looks like they are in respectable party dresses (down to their knees). But there was another little hot girl there too. Her moves werent as good obviously.
And some one push little miss hot pink BACK on the boy when she tried to leave. AND there was a damn adult dancin in the background cuz she thought it was cute.
LAWD I WISH I was there. I would have popped the little girl, the little boy, and the person recording the damn video. Then ask her where she learned it at, and sent her ass to Africa.

20 08 2008
Jeresmom

people that get Metro PCS, other than myslef cause i have a plan with T-mobile but it’s runningme 128 a month, were using prepaid cell phones and had to but minutes every week. This service is for those people who may not have a home phone, like myself and on purpose, and want to stay connected. You can’t give a potential employer a phone number if it’s off due to low minutes.
Gotta go home, be back in 30 mins

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

I laughed at the sheer sadness of that video. Woulda been some slow singin and flower bringing if that had been my daughter.

20 08 2008
sarah

wow. that toddler can dutty wine better than me!

but you can’t fault the kids. they don’t come out knowing how to back that thing up. someone is letting them get by with thinking its okay. whether the parent teaches them for laughs or the kid sees it on TV and the parent records it on the cell phone, the parent is letting them get away with it. the parents need to get beat

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Jess…yea, it was a joke (I hope myself)..lol.

@ Vanita…I chaperoned a sweet 16 and to say the least, seeing some of those mamas going out and freaking down little boys who barely are hitting puberty was bad enough. I swear I see where these kids get it from.

20 08 2008
Vanita

If you hav bad credit, then you need to fix it up! Credit makes the world go round!! It REALLY does! Enabling people to carry one with no.bad credit is terrible. most AA dont realize this until its too damn late! My parents came to this country and didnt know a thing about credit. They didnt trust it. But they realized that if you have good credit, DOORS OPEN. THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO TEACH OUR COMMUNITY!!!

20 08 2008
former lurker

prime example that some people just don’t need to procreate

i swear, parenting classes should be mandatory

20 08 2008
Jen

Former lurker, I can’t even lie. I have vivid memories of sitting in the playground in Kindergarten singing about how Baby Got Back, planning what kind of car my daddy was gonna buy me when I turned 16 and learning all the dances to DJ Jubilee’s get it ready when I was just a few years older. Also, we did the tootsie roll as we took turns jumping rope.

And I was a bookworm of a kid!

20 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Sarah…BET should not allow music videos on during the day. Instead it should be all positive childrens programming with black people, such as Reading Rainbow.

By the way, did anyone see that read a book cartoon video? OMG…I wanted to shoot the creator. I don’t care if he was proving a point, the kids don’t get that, because nobody explained it to them.

20 08 2008
Vanita

Jen – We all played ‘Boys boys on the train’, “telephone’ all those singing and dancing games. But WE ALL KNEW DAMN WELL that if we DARED to do that on a boy…well I know personally I wouldnt be here to tell the story. Shoot I used to get popped if my hand did land on my imaginary hip (which are still imaginary to this day 😦 )

20 08 2008
Jen

@Meka – I can’t be shouting out my law school online!! What if I am the only Negro there who goes by “Jen”??

Not that I go by Jen…I may or may not. And If I don’t, then if I shouted out my law school, I might falsely incriminate some poor innocent girl named Jen currently seeking employment behind the ugly shit I say online. And that would be wrong.

20 08 2008
Vanita

LOL. I liked read a book video. LOL!

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Ready for the worst story ever? A friend of mine volunteered to chaperon a middle school dance for her sister. She caught a little 11 year old getting a handjob from one of the girlies in his class. I was happy if I get a kiss in 6th grade, wtf?

20 08 2008
Knatural

Freaky Friday.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

I wonder if a t-shirt that says, “My daddy has a gun and friends that will make sure he doens’t get locked up” would help any.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

1. Knat is goin to hell with a gasoline tube top on

———–

overitt : “do you guys see a growing divide between AAs in lower income neighborhoods and those who get out? What’s the future of the community?”

Absolutely. The problem is that divide started a long time ago. Blacks who ‘had’ were more concerned with making sure YTs knew that ‘they weren’t like the other blacks’. They decided to keep exclusive circles which left out the less well off blacks, and ever ‘new money’ blacks. Maybe the divide wouldn’t be so prevalent if the ‘elite’ blacks had led by example instead of holding teas under a rock somewhere where the big, bad, evil poor blacks wouldn’t know they existed.

20 08 2008
Vanita

When I was 11, Penises were pee-pees and I thought they sprayed. I most def. didnt wanna see one tho.

20 08 2008
Jen

THE most ignorant cheer/song I knew when I was akid:

Girls: Hey Jen!
Jen: What??
Girls: Somebody’s calling your name.
Girls: Hey Jen!
Jen: What??
Girls: Somebody’s playing your game.
Jen: Well, if it ain’t my nigga, tell him I ain’t home, but if it is my nigga, tell him HOOOOLD ONNNN!

I think I learned that one around seven or eight.

*cries for Black America*

20 08 2008
Meka

Jen, haha, I guess I can understand that. Just tryna see if we knew some of the same people.

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

Oh Jen…jesus wept.

20 08 2008
Knatural

I used to snitch on girls playing Freaky Friday. I was an undercover ho.

20 08 2008
Jen

Edumacated, I dunno where you’re from, but where I was from, the white girls were giving blow jobs in the stairwells by the time we were in the 7th grade.

20 08 2008
former lurker

i had a chick in my class in 7th grade that was pregnant, and two more in my class in 8th grade….

and yeah, the white chicks were quick to give someone head on the back of the bus. i think they come out the womb with penis sucking on the brain

20 08 2008
Knatural

Edumacated, I dunno where you’re from, but where I was from, the white girls were giving blow jobs in the stairwells by the time we were in the 7th grade.

This exact incident happened at my Junior High school, 8th grade. The girl, who was actually my friend, was caught by an administrator in the stairwell near my homeroom. The girl was servicing twins. Black twins. Tragic. We ended our friendship shortly thereafter.

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

I remember a girl describing titty fucking to me in vivid detail. We were both in the 6th grade.

Man, by the time we were adults she’d done everything possible you can do with a vagina…except turn it into a penis.

20 08 2008
sarah

Co-sign on Jen. white girls can be just as nasty. the only difference is black people put their shit out there, even if it isnt true. so, while Dejanay and her friends were playing freaky friday and telephone as loud as they can, Becky was giving head in a bathroom where no one could see her.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

I am from DC, but I guess I was just in middle school a long ass time ago because those things were not happening when I was a young’n. Granted, I do see these young girls with their babies on the block, but I guess it was a little different for me when I actually had to come to terms with the fact that pregnant at 14 means getting busy at 11.

20 08 2008
sarah

by the time we were adults she’d done everything possible you can do with a vagina…except turn it into a penis.

😯

20 08 2008
Amadeo

Damn…in 7th grade I was really trying to get up on the next X-Men comic.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Becky Gundersen.

20 08 2008
Jen

I went to a Black elementary school and a white middle school. Oh my first day, my first interaction with ANYBODY consisted of some nasty ass white boy coming up to me and asking me if I knew what “69” meant.

Clearly I did not. But, he took great joy in explaining.

20 08 2008
Knatural

Oh my god, her name WAS Becky, too. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Crap, hope she isn’t reading this.

20 08 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ Becky.

we played freaky friday too. and i never heard about girls being THAT damn fast in middle school. The biggest scandal was the two girls making out (the rumor was they were goin more) inteh girls bathroom and that was in HS. Because we were too classy for the stairwells, locker rooms or bleachers…

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Someone is going to have to fill me in on Freaky Friday, I missed that one. I think in 6th and 7th grade all of the boys were too concerned with playing Letter B (Damn B-more transplants in the city)

20 08 2008
Jen

Black America has nothing on the Norwegians.

Pia Friis, leader of the popular Bjerkealleen Barnehage in Oslo and a well-known pre-school educator, told newspaper Dagbladet on Tuesday that children should be allowed to express their own sexuality at day care centers.

…Children, she said, should be able “to look at each other and examine each other’s bodies. They can play doctor, play mother and father, dance naked and masturbate…”

http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article2050710.ece

20 08 2008
B4Prez

Yea, we had a few preggos in middle school….and I supposedly went to the ‘good’ school

Even b4 then, in 6th grade we had this after school group led by this YT lady. She took us on an overnite trip to her family’s ocean front cottage to connect with nature and all of that, and we spent most of the time in their old trailer playing spin the bottle. Thankfully we got caught in the girls’ room making out b4 a baby was conceived by some 11/12 yr olds.

20 08 2008
Vanita

What is the letter B?
Freaky Friday is like a cross btw man hunt and hide and go get it.

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

I wouldnt mind playing hide n’ go get it now…

sigh.

20 08 2008
Cheekie

“Pia Friis, leader of the popular Bjerkealleen Barnehage in Oslo and a well-known pre-school educator, told newspaper Dagbladet on Tuesday that children should be allowed to express their own sexuality at day care centers.

…Children, she said, should be able “to look at each other and examine each other’s bodies. They can play doctor, play mother and father, dance naked and masturbate…””

Okay my mouth is WIDE OPEN @ that blatant pedophileness. WTF.

20 08 2008
B4Prez

@Jen –

I understand what dude is getting at, but all of the masturbation and dancing naked at school is a bit much. There’s a difference btwn liberal and reckless.

20 08 2008
Edumucated

Letter B was a game that we (being the mature young men we were) played in middle school. Everytime you said a word that started with the letter B (bored, basketball, business, etc) people would be able to hit you until you said “letter B” so sentences would sound like “Hey, do you guys want to play basketball, LETTER B!, after school? my brother, LETTER B!, just bought, LETTER B!, a new ball, LETTER B!” Just another senseless game attempting to instill violent tendencies in young black men. lol Thank you Baltimore!

20 08 2008
B4Prez

I meant ‘she’ regarding the article.
—————–

Letter B is a game where u sign in with the ‘pinky swear’ move and any1 who does, gets pummeled everytime they say something beginning with the letter B. Good times growin up.

20 08 2008
sarah

i agree, B4Prez

20 08 2008
Yonnie3k

I can’t believe Christopher hasn’t even bothered to check in today. That’s so inconsiderate. I hope he’s okay. I hope Creole didn’t get him. He probably got drunk last night. Of course. It was Tuesday. What else would he be doing? Wait! He hasn’t finished the Last 10 Posts has he? I thought he said he had a backlog of 300 posts. Yesterday when he said he’d announce the book on FB, was that his way of saying goodbye? Is there gonna be a book signing? Not even a real goodbye post? Don’t goooooooo.
I. I can’t. I can’t breathe.

:::::compulsively scratches neck:::::

20 08 2008
8th Wonder

*Hands Yonnie a paper bag*

20 08 2008
Jen

People of Detroit:

EXPLAIN YOURSELVES.

20 08 2008
Amadeo

Letter B was the shit.

Pia Friis can get his ass beat.

20 08 2008
Yonnie3k

Thanks 8th Wonder

20 08 2008
TomatoHead

Hmmm…I don’t know where you people went to school but “scamming” (aka kissing) was considered incredibly disgusting at my schools all the way up until 10th grade. After that, no one cared about anything.

I’m suddenly really glad I actually had a childhood…I mean, i got my first “kiss” in 5th grade and that was with my boyfriend of two weeks and it was only because my friends dared us to. And even then we stood around for a good half hour wondering how exactly to kiss. We ended up just pecking really really lightly and it was the biggest scandal ever. I ended up “dumping” him a few days afterward from sheer embarassment.

I really do not understand these little kids who are so…fast. I mean, it’s like they don’t want to be kids at all. The now ex-boyfriend used to tell me stories about his elementary school and “playing doctor” and all that. I was horrified.

Anyway, what is this “hide and go get it”? And what is “man hunt”?

20 08 2008
overit

yall make me feel hella sheltered, what happened to ms. mary mack and tag?

lol @ hide and go get it…i dont even wanna know what the “it” is.

20 08 2008
overit

Yonni3k, you gonna share some of that?

20 08 2008
Tea

LMAO @ Yonnie, maybe Chris is trying to wean us off the blog

sigh… a little taste of what’s to come

21 08 2008

What
The
Fuck?

21 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Jen…now do you see what I meant by the damn BET comments? WTF?

And for the record, if thats the TBaby who is a local rapper, she’s only like 16.

21 08 2008
Janus

Chaaaaaaaa Chris I feel for you…. it must be friggin hard to lose all that work… I’m sorry to hear I hope you can get back on track to writing that book.

But at the same time SCREW YOU for wanting to leave ur SBPH massive… we’s loyal… we line up weekly for our bowl of chicken-foot soup for the black soul… you put we pon war rations and we nodded our heads cause the food was so damn good. But now you gonna leave us? Adrift in a sea of 2520s running around sayin shit like ‘Black people don’t have it THAT hard’… where is our Zion?

Maybe if I was a black woman I woulda left a nasty comment like ‘I shoulda seen it coming…. all black men are good for is leaving’…BUTTTTTTTTT I’m not goin down that road lol.

LMAO @ hide and go get it… why didnt we have games like this at secondary skool?

21 08 2008
21 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Sho Nuff did pass, but so did that lady that’s a representative…i can’t recall her name but she was a Hilary supporter and she was supposed to be a superdelegate…

21 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

speaking of fast ass kiddie games…anybody used to “HUMP”?! lmao…

22 08 2008
riz

This is like on Don’t Be a Menace where The Man kills hella Black folks off his list.

25 08 2008
Amy Too

You’ve heard of Mozy, right? They have a 2gb free version, which if you want to save a book, should be all you need. It backs up automatically when your computer is idle. Backup “solutions” that count on people remembering to do a backup tend to not happen.

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