To My Readers: Happy Hangover Day

15 08 2008

I am way too fucking hung over to write anything coherent today.

After arriving back at my condo with my drunk ass friends (Chicken Jon, Landmine, and Mandrew) and falling asleep on the couch, I woke up 4 hours later to discover all my fried chicken eaten, nachos and other stoner food that I didn’t even know I had sitting on the kitchen counter, my thermostat turned down to 59 degrees (Chicken Jon is ALWAYS too hot), and the phrase “I Love Penis” set as my Google Chat status message.

And I get to do it all over again tonight.

Pray for me. I’ll make this up with an extra post next week.

-Chris

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611 responses

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

First!

15 08 2008
sarah

i didnt even see you at The Park last night.

but yes, i too am hungover.

15 08 2008
Knatural

Third!

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Christopher sweetie….I’m worried about you. You’ve had quite a few…ahem…”sick” days lately. Do you have a problem? Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you.

As for your chat status message – Fuck Carrots!

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Oh! Did you really do the monopoly money thing? It woulda been hilarious!

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

knat, you’re an idiot. Who yells third? Since chris didn’t give us anything to hate on – we can dive right into random discussion:

So my hair is natural, but I straighten it with a flat iron. I’m trying to get to where I’m comfortable wearing it naturally curly. Last night I did 2 strand twists and undid them this morning for a “twist out.” Mmmm…I don’t know what went wrong but…I think I’m scaring the 2520s. Oh well…I’ll keep trying. Ladies? Your help?

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Hi ppl. They actually had the audacity to make me do my job yesterday, so I wasn’t able to post. But I wanted to talk about Hip Hop Gospel music real quick.

Hip-Hop Gospel sucks donkey balls. My roommate is a holy roller and listens to it all.the.fucking.time. “Dawg, listen to this, this is hot!” Um, no. I don’t want to feel like that when I’m trying to be “in the spirit” or whatever.

I visited a hip-hop church in Tampa with a pastor that looked like Jon-B with cornrows. It was an interesting experience. I took my 11 and 14 y/o cousins who seemed to like it, but they said they felt funny being up in there. There was even a breakdancing ministry, where they breakdanced to hip hop gospel music.

They even had Reggaeton Gospel. Ugh.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“i didnt even see you at The Park last night.”

I was there. Spent most of my time on the third floor.

I was the tall guy getting summarily rejected by all the black women in the place (why is it that when you walk up to a black girl and say ‘hello’ she looks at you like you just pulled your cock out?), then getting the stink eye from the same women when I finally gave up and started talking to the asian girls standing around the bar.

I’ll be there again tonight for whatever 4th floor private party douchefest they’ve got going on.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Chris, We’ve all been there-the worst is when you have to get up and go to work at 6am…I’m craving fried chicken and nachos now

15 08 2008
sarah

i was on the third floor too, getting my flirt on. i didnt see much rejection going on. there were a lot of cuties out last night.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Oh and the whole Black girls looking at you funny when you say hello…don’t know what that’s about, maybe you said it when you were already tipsy or perhaps some black women get the sense (incorrect or not) that you’re one of those “most of my friends are not black and i only date white or mixed women and i’m only talking to you to record data for my experiment: Into the life of a Single Black Douche-Bitch”…but, hey maybe that’s just me

15 08 2008
JG*

Yea* I’m going to break my “heathy food only” plan and hit up the Popeyes on Ponce. It be poppin’ midday! LOL

15 08 2008
Amadeo

Please tell me you took a Slick Day. Sick days are only used correctly when you’re not really sick, but for some reason don’t want to go to work. I once called out every monday for an entire month.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Vote for SBPH for blog of the year at http://www.blackweblogawards.com

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Rev, do you listen to 107.9 on Sunday morning – Coco Brother (Jesus Baby!!)
The Spirit of Hip Hop…The Station That Gets You Crunk…For Jesus…

F.I.L.A.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Amadeo, we call those “mental health” days

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“i was on the third floor too, getting my flirt on. i didnt see much rejection going on. there were a lot of cuties out last night.”

Well, to say I was getting rejected is too harsh. Girls were just being too damn…coy…and after the last girl I dated, I ain’t having that shit 😛

I want chicken.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Best Drunken Night Foods:

The Spicy Baconator from Wendy’s (they are open til 3am here)
Asian Zing Boneless Wings and Southwest Dippers from BW3
Any flavor of doritos
Popeyes chicken wings, rice and beans and a biscuit

I’m starving…and a lil tipsy from last night as well

15 08 2008
JG*

Hip Hop Gospel. Just too funny.

And can you “Dutty Wine” to Dancehall Gospel?

“Slow wine now, slow wine! Fast wine! Fast wine! Communion Wine! Drink de wine!”

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Rev, do you listen to 107.9 on Sunday morning – Coco Brother (Jesus Baby!!)
The Spirit of Hip Hop…The Station That Gets You Crunk…For Jesus…

F.I.L.A.

Hell to the no, the devil is a liar! I stick to Praise 97.5 or V-103 on Sunday mornings.

When I’m in a church and I hear, “YO YO YO GET YO PRAISE ON!!!!”, I just feel wrong.

And that “Crank Dat” fad from last year infiltrated Hip-Hop Gospel:

Crank Dat Holy Ghost? Really?

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

healthy food plan? I’ve been cheatin on my “get ready for Jamaica plan” with Popeyes like 3x a week this past month. I’m probably just gonna eat and drink myself into a stupor when I get there anyway lol

15 08 2008
Knatural

There’s always good-looking men at The Park.

15 08 2008
JG*

Crank Dat Holy Ghost?!?!?!!

Jesus Wept.

15 08 2008
JG*

BenAfficial: Whenever I feel weak I remind myself “Girl, you are a size 3! Don’t worry about it!” Then.. I eat like a pig, feel bloated, hate myself, notice fat that I didn’t see before.

15 08 2008
Knatural

JG* – I hate you! AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH…

15 08 2008
sarah

JG*, i once heard a reggae song called, “Shake That Ass in the Name of the Lord.” no lie.

15 08 2008
texasladybird

@JG

I stopped lurking to say that after reading your post, my keyboard is covered in Dr Pepper. Too damn funny!

*goes back to lurking*

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Gospel Rap (how did we get to this subject?) lol:

Have you heard a song in which the chorus is “Twirk somethin for the Lord…Get Crunk for Christ!”

15 08 2008
Cheekie

Chris, I don’t WTF was up those girls you said “hello” to and returned it with stink eye. It had to have been the way you said it. If not, then, who the hell knows.

LMBAO @ “Slow wine now, slow wine! Fast wine! Fast wine! Communion Wine! Drink de wine!” and Crank Dat Holy Ghost.

Crank Dat Holy Ghost? I mean, for real? Some things just need to be left the hell ALONE.

15 08 2008
Cheekie

“Shake That Ass in the Name of the Lord.”

HAHAHAHAHA! All kinds of contradictions up in that title. Why are they so delusional? Jeebus is having NONE of that ass shakin’, you heathens.

15 08 2008
JG*

LOL. Once you delurk.. It’s a wrap.

Shake dat ass in the name of the Lord…..

Must be what they play at Pastor Betha’s church.

15 08 2008
Jen

approaching a woman while under the influence of alcohol = pulling your cock out

15 08 2008
sarah

or maybe, Chris, she was a bitch. they do exist.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“approaching a woman while under the influence of alcohol = pulling your cock out”

I conduct myself very well as a drunk. I’m an Indian, after all.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

“Slow wine now, slow wine! Fast wine! Fast wine! Communion Wine! Drink de wine!”

LMAO

Krystal’s burgers used to be my standard “Drunk Food”, but waking up with both a hangover and a runny ass is not what’s hot in the streets.

And Baconators are da bessssss…But if I eat those too often, I’m going to look like Rick Ross.

15 08 2008
texasladybird

@JG

You ain’t neva lied. SBPH is why I don’t get any work done.

*Gives “Shake that ass in the name of the Lord” the stank face*

15 08 2008
imaG

man sounds like a you had a good time. i fuckin went to sleep. i thought i was a G. maybe tonight 🙂

http://www.anythingblack.net

15 08 2008
Jen

It has nothing to do with how you’re acting, I assure you. Alcohol is a liquid aphrodisiac and approaching a woman with it on your breath sends a clear message. Or, at least, that is how I feel.

15 08 2008
Knatural

why is it that when you walk up to a black girl and say ‘hello’ she looks at you like you just pulled your cock out?
AHAHAHAHAHHAA…you should’ve pulled it out and dipped it in her drank.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Oh, Pastor Mason Bethea. FUCK HIM! (Allegedly) Rollin around ATL looking for tranny hookers on the stroll…FAIL.

Oh, and walking around with bodyguards looking like the bootleg secret service? EPIC FAIL.

Or preaching a sermon talking about how “he went up to Popeye’s in his Roll Royce”? EPIC FUCKING FAIL

I really need to deal with my issues about chuuuch. LOL

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Activities for tonight:

1. Monopoly money trick
2. Dip cock in drank
3. Fish Sammich offer

Any others? I’ll happily post the results on Monday.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

@J.G.- Thanks for the support. I can’t help but think though it’s cuz you’re a size three lol. I have to remind myself that I’m two meals away from “that’s a big dude” status.

Ever since Chris alluded to the fact that jogging is cool, I’ve been out there with my dogs amongst the 2520’s giving me uneasy looks (or most irritatingly trying to let their dogs sniff mine).

15 08 2008
Jen

@Knatural – I had a roomie from Miami who would curse men out for approaching her…anywhere…and saying hello

Elderly greeter at Wal-Mart: Hello, Welcome to Wal-Mart.

Miami: GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT SHIT! [turns to me] HOW HE GONNA JUST COME UP TO ME ON SOME ‘HELLO’ SHIT? FUCK’S WRONG WITH HIM? [turns to him] I LOOK GREEN TO YOU, NIGGA??

Me: I’m sorry, sir.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

FYI anybody addicted to mob wars (like me), don’t forget to check out that gang wars app too (and send me and invite). Gotta have two empires goin’.

15 08 2008

How are you approaching these black chicks? I would like to know…and what are they saying in response. I need to know!

15 08 2008

BenAfficial,

YES! Are you in my mob? if not look me up on facebook
sacrmentoqueen@yahoo.com

15 08 2008

yes grab a black chicks (.)(.) and run. Please give details later.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

I know what he’s talking about. Some women can’t just say “I’m just out having fun with my girls and not interested, but you have a good night.” so on and so forth.

It makes you really appreciate the ones who can brush you off in a nice way…then subsequently feel bad for them when some ignorant dude goes off on them for not recognizing that even though they aren’t as cool now…his grills cost a fortune.

15 08 2008
Jen

@Né – I’m guessing you don’t want your seven remaining posts because that type of shit will get men fucked up.

15 08 2008
LadiJai

Did you at least get to use the monoply mone line on anyone?

15 08 2008
LadiJai

money… my bad

15 08 2008
LadiJai

Damn… I should read through all the posts first….

15 08 2008
Defiant

I’ve noticed the same sort of stand offish behaviour from some black women. I’ve spoken to a good female friend of mine she does this thing she calls smiling with her eyes when she’s expressing interest in someone… However if you didn’t know her you would swear she was giving you cut eye. She’s got a great smile I told her she should rock it,but she equates smiling with being easy and cheesey.
This all being said I’ve seen some black guys go after woman with the worst possible approaches which include: Yelling at them as they walk by and then when ignored they say some nasty shit in order to protact their own fraglie egos, openly talking about the girls ass and all the things you want to do to her before they even introduce themselves etc…
Maybe it’s just a cultural thing that some of us have fallen into, but it needs to stop. We really need to cut the bullshit and just be real gad dammit.

15 08 2008
JG*

I’m very addicted to Mob Wars. Another I reason I hate SBPH. But I need 15 Mobsters!! So I need 5 more people in my mob!!!!

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Chris- Say “Excuse me, but can I borrow a Magnum?” DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!

As I am having a hard time believing all the sisters were acting this way, can you please describe what you said to these women? And what they looked like? I know I have previously stated that I am leery about approaching men who roll in mixed race groups, but if the brother from this pack approaches me then I wouldn’t be leery anymore. In fact, I’d probably entertain him even if he weren’t attactive to me like “Fuck, I know his ass is just two disses away from moving to Cave Bitch land”. I’d take an L or two for the sake of Sisterkind.

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Yonnie- “I think I’m scaring the 2520s.”

MISSON ACCOMPLISHED! In fact, make a banner that says that and tape it to your cubicle!

Meanwhile, in opposite news, I think I am getting my first Dominican press next week. I may have it when I come to DC. I’s nervous!

15 08 2008
LadiJai

“Shake that ass in the name of the Lord” & “Twirk somethin for the Lord”— Uhmm, Yikes, no wonder half the teen mothers I knew went to church every damn Sunday

15 08 2008

I pray no one ever pulls their cock and puts it in my drink. I’m sure it would strangely turn me on.

If I was reincarnated as a man, that is something I’d have to do!
:sings: ” dick in yer cup…dick in your cuuuuup”

15 08 2008
sarah

Defiant, its not a cultural thing. its a maturity thing. especially when drunk, i have seen that type of behavior in all races.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

A lot of women are afraid to turn down a black man nowadays…no, really… i pretend to be nice “oh thank you, that’s sweet, but i’m having a drink with my girls, come back later?” when really i’m thinking “get your wack ass out my face before i ask the bartender to boil me up some grits so i can throw them in that unholy abomination you call a face with that alleged ‘grill’!!!”

The issue is that here (Milwaukee), and other places I’m sure. there have been numerous cases of women turning down men, nicely or aggressively, and having one of the following, and more occur: a drink thrown in their face, being punched repeatedly in the face, being peed on at a public festival, being chased down in the car and killed and even having a steaming hot pizza thrown on them (that happened to a friend of mine when she was in high school) ALL because the female wasn’t interested…

15 08 2008
JG*

ST & Yonnie: When I was natural I would hit up the dominicans for my press. It was the best thing since sliced bread. Girls would go in looking a mess and come out looking super fly!

15 08 2008
Knatural

Né – AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAH…me too! If had a weewee, I’d do that.

15 08 2008
texasladybird

I don’t get approached much at clubs. I don’t rock a mean mug or hold up the wall.

I’m usually that chick out on the dance floor, extra dirty martini in hand having a good time.

Maybe because I don’t simulate stripper moves…….

15 08 2008

lol knat

We’d have to come back taller though and put it in a short chicks drink!

15 08 2008
LadiJai

there have been numerous cases of women turning down men, nicely or aggressively, and having one of the following, and more occur: a drink thrown in their face, being punched repeatedly in the face, being peed on at a public festival, being chased down in the car and killed and even having a steaming hot pizza thrown on them (that happened to a friend of mine when she was in high school) ALL because the female wasn’t interested…

WTF!

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Hi everybody! It is amazing what Quesadillas can do for a person after taking straight shots of bacardi gold….and then probably altogether 3 more *dranks* of rum and coke.

Story: before we got to the club, my boy, his sister, his friend, and I pretty much finished off a 5th of bacardi gold (shots + rum & coke). Mind you, my drinking was all within a 30 minute span. I get to the club, and want to take shots at the bar. I’m standing with a group of 2520 guys who are like “yea, we’ll take care of your drink”…so I ask for a shot of bacardi gold, which they don’t have. So I’m aiming for a shot of 151. And the fucking bartender is like “we’re not allowed to give out 151 shots” (bullshit if you ask me). I ended up with this hybrid bacardi superior + 1/2 shot of 151 + a shot of coke drink, which was gone in like 5 minutes.

Being that I am a small person, I figured I would have been stumbling a bit. Why the hell couldn’t I get a full buzz?

Lesson Learned: Rum isn’t good for shit.

15 08 2008
Monie

“most of my friends are not black and i only date white or mixed women and i’m only talking to you to record data for my experiment: Into the life of a Single Black Douche-Bitch”…but, hey maybe that’s just me – JessAKA Rabbitt

Lol

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

what kind of crowd does The Park have? Might have to check it out tonight.

15 08 2008
Defiant

@ Sarah
You’re right it is a maturity thing, but people still need to cut tthe bullshit and just be real with each other.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

I forgot to buy the Monopoly money, but it will happen soon.

@Ne – sample transaction from last night

Me: [approaches a pair of girls, addresses least attractive of the two] “Hey”
Girl #1: [looks at girl #2 as if seeking approval] “Hello.”
Me: “How’re you doing tonight?”
Girl #1: “…meh.”
Me: [notices she’s been staring at the TV] “Meh? You know what part of the problem is?”
Girl #1: “What?”
Me: “You came to a nightclub to watch the Olympics.”
Girl #1 & #2: [laughs]
Me: “C’mon. Get off this wall. Dance with me.” [offers hand to Girl #1]
Girl #1: [gently pushes my hand away] “I don’t dance.”
Me: [shoots Girl #2 a look] “…she’s kidding, right?”
Girl #2: “Nope. I don’t dance either. Sorry.” [folds arms]
Me: “That’s too bad. You ladies have a pleasant evening.”

Exchanges similar to this happened three times. Some chicks are just mad I guess 🙂

15 08 2008
Knatural

Né – I’d wanna be above 6’8″ so I can put my thing on short girls’ shoulders.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Me Encanta la pelequeria Dominicana de mio!!! Senorita Carmen es la mejor por el pelo de mio!!! Harlett es bien, tambien.

15 08 2008
Monie

Chris,

Does race really have anything to do with it when a woman is not repecptive to a man? Could it have been that you just were not her type? Why is it that if a Black woman is ‘not with the program’ it has to do with her Blackness?

But atleast you didn’t call her a lesbian.

15 08 2008
Vanita

You too! Like today is “National Hangover Day”. I went out for drinks with coworkers (gotta love it when they buy the drinks) and Im DONE. My head hurts so bad and my visitor is in town. I just wanna pass out on this desk…

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

there have been numerous cases of women turning down men, nicely or aggressively, and having one of the following, and more occur: a drink thrown in their face, being punched repeatedly in the face, being peed on at a public festival, being chased down in the car and killed and even having a steaming hot pizza thrown on them (that happened to a friend of mine when she was in high school) ALL because the female wasn’t interested…

Yep, there are a lot of stories about guys killing women who aren’t interested in them. It’s not.that.fucking.serious.

Oh yeah, is it just me, or is the Mainstream media nignoring the whole LisaRaye/Michael McKisick story? Now if this was Halle Berry, this would be a different story, but still, I know Diamond was a D-List actress on her best day, but DAMN.

But Diamond needs to know that she is not (a) Michelle Obama or (b) Grace Kelly. That is all.

15 08 2008
sarah

but, ya’ll cant deny that there are some bitches in the club. i have seen it first hand and this is why i make it a point to be cordial in the letdown.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

or (c) Queen of Zamunda. Diamond, stay in your lane!

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ sbph…honey, darling, dear…you’re talking to the wrong ones. You need to talk to the drnk girls…lol…

And for the record, I molested 2 guys in the form of ass grabbing last night. Yay for me!

15 08 2008
Monie

***Makes note to avoid clubs in Milwaukee*** thanks for the heads up JessAKA Rabbitt.

15 08 2008
texasladybird

I never understood people who go to clubs and don’t dance. Isn’t that the point?

If I had been girl #2, I would have been messy and said “She don’t dance, but I do.” and shot her the deuce.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

another reason to hate republicans:

http://www.citizensugar.com/1869415 (for those of you who are sober enough to read it)

…why is there makeup on my laptop?

15 08 2008
sarah

Chris, that doesnt sound too bad.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

lol…the best thing about LisaRaye was her looks and she knew it-terrible actress and her only hope was to marry rich and become the Black Grace Kelly (knockoff) and she did, but it fell apart…it’s ironic because i heard that she was sleeping around with a lot of married men in hollywood to gain fame…but, damn, let me stop acting like i actually know that chick, lol

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Ok, the best club that I know of is in Ann Arbor. Its called Necto. And on Thursday nights, its packed, and there aren’t too many people standing around. I think I’m the meanest person in the club…and I still dance with guys.

Its ALWAYS packed. And its mixed. Plus $5 cover? Bien.

15 08 2008
Monie

Rev

I just commented on another blog about MSM ignoring the Lisa Raye thing. But forget about her, the husband is the Head of State of a country! He’s accused of beating his wife, raping a woman, infedelity and now suspected of stealing 57 million dollars! Not a peep in the MSM, wow.

15 08 2008
sarah

Chaotic Diva, i felt up so many biceps last night. mmmmm, i love nice shoulders and biceps.

15 08 2008
JG*

Being that I work at a “club” type place, I watch dumbass girls reject men all night. But they will hang by the bar waiting on someone to buy them drinks all night. Get it together groupies! LOL

15 08 2008
Jen

I just came to the realization that I should probably never go to a club again.

15 08 2008
Vanita

Chris – U shoulda called those girls some bucket moufed hoes.
j/k

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Does race really have anything to do with it when a woman is not repecptive to a man? Could it have been that you just were not her type? Why is it that if a Black woman is ‘not with the program’ it has to do with her Blackness?”

It’s trend-based – I have a 90%+ success rate with non-Black women and a 10% success rate with Black women.

I’ve got no problem if I’m just not what black girls are looking for. I’m just sayin…yall can’t just have fun with a high yella fo’ minute? 😛

15 08 2008
LadiJai

See… that’s why I go out by myself… no need to glance to someone else to see if its ok to dance… no extras that I’m trying to swindle drinks for… I’ll dance all night, and buy my own drank…

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ JG

That’s why I never open up with buying drinks. Buying drinks can be like giving strippers money. They are interested in the drink/money not you. So I never understand when dudes want to initiate something buy spending money on a woman they don’t know. I’m like, “Dumbass…she’s getting drunk on your tab and then she’s going to either: a) leave with some other douce. b) leave with her girls. – in either case you are an asshole, stop enabling them.”

15 08 2008
LadiJai

@sbph… where are you going? Is this a DC problem, or everywhere you visit? You may just need to try a new city, cause I’m sure you’d find a sista to dance with you in Austin..

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ chris…if I molested you, would you consider me to be black or non-black?

15 08 2008
Vanita

But you kno what? I dont like when guys ask me to dance. Because if Im not dancing, its probably a reason for it. Im im dancing and a guy non verbally asks me to dance then he has a better chance of getting the dance.

I dunno. Don’t verbally ask me to dance in the club.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Lisaraye Update:
MediaTakeOut.com was the FIRST news source in the world to report on all the trouble between LisaRaye McCoy and her husband Michael Misick. Well, now it appears that things are getting UGLIER THAN EVER.

MediaTakeOut.com has learned that Misick’s people are officially charging that LisaRaye is carrying on an affair with NBAs Gary Payton – and that Gary left his wife over it.

Here’s how the NY Daily News is reporting things:

But the marriage deteriorated quickly amidst charges of infidelity. LisaRaye was accused of having an affair with former Miami Heat point guard Gary Payton, who separated from his wife this week. And Misick allowed BET veejay Rocsi to hold court in the mansion while LisaRaye was away, angering his wife.

Payton’s spokesman denied it, and BET wouldn’t comment on Rocsi.

A friend of the prime minister told us: “LisaRaye is nothing more than a gold digger. She wants a cash settlement upwards of several million dollars.”

Jetter shot back: “That’s what she should be doing. She deserves spousal support. She hasn’t been going on auditions and things, so she devoted her time to him and hasn’t been working as much. It’s not like she’s coming in like Rocsi, just being on BET.”

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I just commented on another blog about MSM ignoring the Lisa Raye thing. But forget about her, the husband is the Head of State of a country! He’s accused of beating his wife, raping a woman, infedelity and now suspected of stealing 57 million dollars! Not a peep in the MSM, wow.

Exactly! He’s no saint in this situation, but NO one is checking for them. If this was Angelina Jolie separating from the prime minister of Narnia or somewhere, this would be all over the news.

Oh well. I hope she gets something out of this. She is over 40, and can’t compete with women young enough to be her daughter on the groupie/goldigger train, and I’m pretty sure those “All of Us” residuals couldn’t buy me anything off the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s, so I see why Diamond was talking about staying on the Island.

If all else fails, I’m pretty sure Tyler Perry could put her in a chitlin’ circuit play with Cheryl Pepsii Riley.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“That’s why I never open up with buying drinks. Buying drinks can be like giving strippers money. They are interested in the drink/money not you. So I never understand when dudes want to initiate something buy spending money on a woman they don’t know.”

Thank you, Amadeo. I never offer girls drinks, and if they ask for one I’ll respond with either a.) “no, you can buy me one”, or b.) “sure, but I want a French kiss first”.

When offered, girls take option b with surprising enthusiasm.

15 08 2008
JG*

Amadeo: That is correct!!! I see it all night. Guy tells me “get her and her friend a drink on me.” I do. Later on they are no where near him and they are like “can we get two more?” I will go ask the guy because more drinks=better tip, but in my head I think “you dumb bitches.” Usually though at this point the guy has figured out that he has been used, and is like “hell no! Tell them bitches to buy ME a drink.” THAT makes me proud. 🙂

Once I had a guy send a girl a glass of wine. Her man was at the table with her and her friend. She was like “Tell him Thank You, but I can’t drink this”. So I gave it to her friend. A few minutes later the girl came to me and said the guy sent his friend to the table to just take the drink off the table. Then he came to me and was like “umm No one drank it. Can I get my money back?” I told him that next time he needs to no remove anything from someone’s table that isn’t his own, and that that’s what he gets for trying to be a “balla”

15 08 2008
Monie

“It’s trend-based – I have a 90%+ success rate with non-Black women and a 10% success rate with Black women.”

Maybe non-Black women are just easy. 🙂

15 08 2008
Cheekie

“And for the record, I molested 2 guys in the form of ass grabbing last night. Yay for me!”

Yay for you, indeed! I seriously have a problem with ass-grabbing. Last time I went to the club, I was sitting down (for once out of the night) and this dude was backin his thang up against my sister right in front of me and then I reached over and pinched his ass. He looked over at his shoulder thinking it was her all, “Heyyyyy, now!”. Love it.

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

“Shake That Ass in the Name of the Lord.”

I think that’s a Beenie Man track (I’d have a small kingdom of his babies…)

I was just listening to that today in the car on the way to the plantation

15 08 2008
Jen

Option b?? OMG, ew. That is how people get the Herp.

15 08 2008
Esquire

I never offer girls drinks, and if they ask for one I’ll respond with either a.) “no, you can buy me one”, or b.) “sure, but I want a French kiss first”.

I hate you. lllllllllllllooooooooooooollllllllllllll

15 08 2008
Monie

If a guy buys you a drink in a club then they think they own you for the night. I just buy my own drinks.

15 08 2008

I have NEVER been rude to a guy who approached me. I have never gotten cursed out for it either.

I try to be nice and say I have a man or something, or hold a small convo ask their name yadda yadda. You can’t get all GI jane on a brother for being attracted to you. I take an approach as a compliment ( even the red dots). I mean really I have to give it to men for having the courage to do the approaching. I barely have the balls when I’m drunk.

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

Question: Why did you g up the so-so chick and not the hotter chick?! I’m intrigued…

and ya’ll know she was stank and didnt wanna dance because her feet were hurting! (=

15 08 2008
JG*

LMAO @ The Herp. Like…. there’s a chart

Kissing random stranger for a drink: 1 Herp
Drinking after a 2520: 2 Herps
Allowing random stranger to kiss your vag: 3 Herps
Allowing a 2520 with strange lip markings lick your wang: 5 herps.

And so on.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Question: Why did you g up the so-so chick and not the hotter chick?! I’m intrigued…”

The best way to attract a hot girl is to ignore her.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

It’s all a cycle…doesn’t matter where it starts:

Ignorant dudes approach…women become defensive….women defend to hard against non-ignorant dudes…non-ignorant dudes become ignorant as frustration builds. It’s the circle of life.

That’s why I’ve taken (when I was single) to not directly pressing up but casually speaking and joking throughout the night when the chance presents itself. Normally I begin to see if I’ll be received later on or not. If not I was just being friendly. Every now and again I get some stank folks…but I’m having too much fun to really care and I just laugh at them as they hold the wall for the night.

15 08 2008
JG*

Chris….Preach!

LOL

We should create a SBPH Church of Crank Dat Holy Dutty Wine.

15 08 2008

aww Chris

I think maybe they really don’t dance and wanted to talk more. NOt every woman can survive a night in 4 inch heels

I will give you the secret. Black women are apprehensive because they need to feel you out. Make sure you aren’t crazy. It’s not like you’re unattractive so next time probe a little bit more…NAMES, OCCUPATION…COMPLIMENT, JOKE COMPLIMENT…number. if it doesn’t work put your dick in her cup!

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

The best way to attract a hot chick may be to ignore her (slightly), but talking to her friend first is a no no, maybe for the YTs and other non-black groups…but me and my girls are all hot 🙂 and we are LOYAL…there is no way in hell a nig can talk to my friend, ask her to dance, maybe (usually always) buy her a drink then expect to talk to me…you better approach the one you like or you may be left salty and lookin like the Ultimate Douche

15 08 2008
Amadeo

SLOW CLAP @ CHRIS

You are no padawan learner sir…

15 08 2008
Jen

“The best way to attract a hot girl is to ignore her.”

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALSE.

The hot girl has 32,000 other men approaching her on a daily basis. Hell, most women do. She has men lined up to date her who have been waiting to date her since she first wore a training bra. If you ignore her during the initial stages, she won’t even notice because of the constant onslaught of “first contact” type attention she receives.

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

“The best way to attract a hot girl is to ignore her.”

hmmm, that’s true if youre talking to other girls AROUND her who are not WITH her at the club. most girls are loyal. granted, youre not psychic and dont know wth she came with, but Im damn sure not gonna try to intercept the dude that just hollered at my girl!

15 08 2008
rai

I went to the park too. . . I thought the early rain was going to keep people from coming out. . . but I had a decent time. if u got plastered and ordered from the bar, that means u had to have gotten your drinks on the first floor. . . those joints that work the 2nd & 3rd floors are the absolute PITS. damn shame.

15 08 2008
JG*

Can someone please make a remix to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg Dick in a Box…

“its my dick in your cup!”

“kwaanza”

“it’s my dick in your cup!

15 08 2008

knat

6’8″ sounds perfect bwahahahahahahha.
I’d just randomly pull my dick out and start slipping all the asian chicks in the face. DRIVE BY DICK SLAP!

15 08 2008
Jen

Amen, JessAKA. If you’ve ever dated my friend, your penis is dead to me.

15 08 2008
rai

And that in the best way to attract a pretty one. . . because they are used to the attention that they are given constantly, when one ignores them they automatically think “oh well he must not have seen me. Let me walk by again, brush up against him, go speak, start dancing all wild, etc. . .

15 08 2008
Jen

rai – that only works if she a) notices and b) has low self esteem.

15 08 2008
rai

drive by dick slap?!!?!?!?! lol too funny. there is NO calling that one in.

15 08 2008
Cheekie

JG*

You are NOT even right for that.

DEAD!!

15 08 2008
JG*

Ladies.. we’re forgetting that we are of the slightly more…. elite group of Black Women who go out.

Trust me. I see it happen all night long. In a group of varying hotness, guy goes for the lesser hot one, the hot one instantly gets competitive. Because she constantly gets attention she will demand that you give it to her. In her mind, what makes you think you can just ignore her!?

15 08 2008
JG*

I’m hot, my friends are equally hot. It won’t work on us, because it’s a win/win for you, so you can pick either one of us to talk to and we will understand. Also we are secure so we’re not going to go into competition overdrive because you’re talking to her and not me.

But the majority of people at clubs doing too much are douchebags and groupies. Those are the ones who fall into the games/traps.

This does not apply to all.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

JG:

I consider that to be a Douche-Bitch with low self-esteem and abandonment issuess

15 08 2008
Jen

Dick in a Box is still funny. *sigh*

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

Haven’t even read all the comments yet but this one caught me…

“And can you “Dutty Wine” to Dancehall Gospel?

“Slow wine now, slow wine! Fast wine! Fast wine! Communion Wine! Drink de wine!”

*DEAD*
(almost literally because I choked on my sandwich)

To answer the question, yes you can Dutty Wine to Dancehall Gospel. I have seen it.

15 08 2008
rai

sidenote: u can translate “hot” or “hottest” for most scantly clad, the one with the lightest skin, or the one with the biggest tail. . .

15 08 2008
sarah

co-sign on JG*

15 08 2008
B4Prez

“or (c) Queen of Zamunda. Diamond, stay in your lane!”

LMAO
—————-

Some of you’ll need to stop acting brand new. I thought it was a NY thing but, Chris is 100% correct in his assessment of meeting black women. If I had a nickel for every black woman I pass on the street who’s looking down my throat until I acknowledge her n she wants to suddenly look down at the crack in the sidewalk….

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Jen, JessAKA, HCV, I’m sorry, but you are wrong.

1.) Hot girls know when they’re being ignored. If you come up and talk to their friends, are laughing at joking with them, and ignoring her charms (which 99% of dudes are completely unable to do) she’s going to wonder what’s wrong with HER by sheer virtue of that fact that, indeed, she has 32,000 other guys waiting in line for a chance to talk to her. Once the girl is off her pedestal a bit, she is a much easier target.

2.) if a guy knows what he’s doing, he will not set it up so that the hotter girl has to feel like she’s ‘intercepting’ him from her girlfriends (not that yall wouldn’t happily do it anyway). The man is in charge, and will do what he has to do to get the girl with feelings intact. You’ll notice that in my exchange with girl #1, I wasn’t being flirtatious or sexual or even complimentary – I was just making conversation and being a fun person.

Again, this only applies to HOT girls. You are correct that this approach will not work with average to above average women, because a latent attack on their egos can be catastrophic.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT SHIT! [turns to me] HOW HE GONNA JUST COME UP TO ME ON SOME ‘HELLO’ SHIT? FUCK’S WRONG WITH HIM? [turns to him] I LOOK GREEN TO YOU, NIGGA??

just made my eyes water

15 08 2008
Jeresmom

@Yonnie2K, I too am growing out my hair. I just cut the relaxer out and have been wearing it curly or in a fro. I need something else to o with it and was thinking of the two strand twists

15 08 2008
JG*

Also, girls/loyalty is a dream.

And I’m a girl. And I’m loyal.

LOL

15 08 2008
Jeresmom

should have been 3k, my bad

15 08 2008
Jen

Chris, you are not slick. YOU JUST AIN’T.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

Exactly Chris

For some (dumb ass) reason dudes see a hot girl and surround her like she’s picking a team for a basketball game. The dude who doesn’t rush her instantly becomes more attractive. Theory: A prize deserves a prize. The dudes competing with each other for her attention automatically lose out to the one who isn’t. Competition is useless because (as I like to say) “He can’t beat me at being me.”

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Chris, you are not slick. YOU JUST AIN’T.”

Just telling the truth is all.

15 08 2008
Jen

P.S. You just gave away that tactic. I SEE YOU, NOW. I’m gonna tell all my friends.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

**wondering should I get Chicken Wings or some Escoveitched fish for lunch**

Damn, I got a call from my dad yesterday, talking about he needs help driving up to DC THIS weekend. We’re helping my brother move. Fuck it, I need a day off and I’m sick of Atlanta right now…

I’m still going up there for Labor Day though.

15 08 2008
Jeresmom

Jen we ladies should all tell our friends, lmao

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jen

If you friends fall into that category then it will still work. When lame as dudes get their dicks in check and learn to ease back this tactic won’t be as much of an option.

15 08 2008
Jen

@ Jeresmom – I’m on the phone AND gchat RIGHT NOWWWWW.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Oh yeah, I guess LisaRaye can tell Rocsi, “It’s bitches like you who make it harder for women like me”

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Okay Chris,

I’ll give you some of that. U didn’t orginially say that your contact with the less hot chick was non-flirtatious, which is important. However, while Hot is subjective, it’s true that women with low self-esteem seek competition with their friends, even if they are all beautiful. I don’t think it’s important to compete with my friends for a man that a.) may be wearing his brother’s clothes b.) may have rented a car for the sole purposes of stuntin on hoes c.) may be in a self-reassuring game of can I get the hottest chicks in the club? or d.) may just be a fucking liar!

Like i said on the Approachability post, not all women go out to seek men…maybe we just wanna go out…

So, you are only right if you are dealing with:
A chick with low self-esteem
A chick with nothing else going for her in life but her looks
A chick who believes that the value of her soul is directly proportional to the quality/quantity of ninjas that approach her at a club
A chick that is a back-stabbing, unnecessarily-competitive douche-bitch that love to cunt-block her closest friends

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Rev? Did you say nignoring? New word. That’s what they do to missing black children. Also, where you getting Escoveitched fish?

15 08 2008
sarah

Jen, this tactic is nothing new. i know most of the guys tricks. thats the great thing about having guy friends. on another note, this tactic works in reverse as well.

15 08 2008
JG*

Rev Leon: Try Negrils if you are downtown. Their Esco is the only good thing. But I am now trying to decide on what I’m going to get. I said Popeyes, but maybe Doc Greens. If I had the gas I’d drive to Memorial Dr/Decatur get some of that gooooooooood Jamaican!

Damn. Starving now.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Jen we ladies should all tell our friends, lmao”

Go right ahead 🙂

Think of the alternative – now you’re on to our ‘game’, leaving you no choice but to choose from among the clit-coddling Yes Men that surround you on a daily basis.

Sure, you may know better than to go for the guy that might seem to be gaming you by ignoring you…but eventually you’ll get sick of the Yes Men. Eventually, you’ll be back.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Lmao at Rev. Leon:

Hey what HOES around comes around!

15 08 2008
Jen

What Chris is saying is fucking grimy. It plays on peoples’ natural inclination to be social beings. If someone has a conversation with someone you are with and you are not a DAMN LEPER OR FRIGID BITCH, you assume that you should involve yourself the conversation, too–especially if the conversation is not flirty/sexual/pick-upy in nature. So, you insert comments into the convo this conniving MAN has started with someone else and engage this MAN, who you would not have otherwise noticed.

The banter could very easily shift to a conversation with you.

AAAHHHHHH!!!! HE THINKS HE IS SO DAMN SLICK!!!

I am seriously mad at this.

15 08 2008
JG*

I might go to Negrils myself. But damn… Island Cafe has some good ass rice and peas.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Geesh!! All this game playing…I guess that’s (one of the reasons) why I’m single. If I wanna dance I will. If I like you, I’ll flirt. If I don’t, I won’t. I don’t pick up on hints. Ever. Don’t throw them. If you’re talking to some other chick to get my attention, it won’t work. If you’re talking to me to get some other chick’s attention, that’s mean. I have feelings. I brought money. I’ll buy my own drink. You might slip me a Mickey anyways. Why can’t everybody just be straight up with one another?

15 08 2008
Jen

JessAKA – you are not understanding what he is DOING.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@JG, I work right off Memorial Drive outside The Perimeter. Jamaican restaurants everywhere. I go to either Kool Runnings or that place that is a bakery over on Rockbridge & Memorial. They have shrimp patties that make you wanna slap yo mama.

Oh yeah, Doc Greens is da business. Great big ass salads. I haven’t had Popeye’s in a minute though.

@Yonnie: Yes, Nignoring. I can’t take credit for that word though, someone I knew on another website made it up.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

“The best way to attract a hot girl is to ignore her.”

…that shit doesn’t work with me. Simply because I’m the type of hot girl that ignores people that try to holler…and am usually too pre-occupied with my drink to notice anything outside of not scuffing my shoes and not spilling my drink.

Maybe I’m just a weirdo.. Oh well.

15 08 2008
JG*

Yonnie: That’s how I feel. I’m like it is what it is. That’s why I only go places where the caliber of men I want to meet are. Because that’s the caliber of a woman that I am.

15 08 2008
LadiJai

OMG… all this Jamaican food talk makes me hungry… I need to visit my grandma for some ox tails stat!

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

JG and Rev, meet you at Negril?

15 08 2008
rai

lol @ evil laugh

15 08 2008
Amadeo

Don’t be mad ladies…we end up doing most of the approaching and sometimes we have to get creative so you can get out of your own way and let us a little bit closer.

You get defensive cause of the ignorant/dangerous dudes. I understand.

We get creative to get past the defense.

We’re hunter/gatherers…just doing our thing.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

JessAKA – I have no doubt that you have no active interest in competing over men. But you do it anyway, whether you like it or not. There’s nothing wrong with being human 🙂

Jen – it’s not grimy, it’s realistic. A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson.

Basically, it’s your fault 🙂

15 08 2008

I never realized how much of a complication going out can be. I am a free spirit, so I go out to have fun. I don’t care who talks to my friends, if a guy is hot I let him know.I am not there to compete I make great conversations and call it a night. The most difficult part of going out is finding something to wear. Give me a drink, some good music, a nice looking man who can dance and I am good.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

JG and Rev, meet you at Negril?

Let me PM you on Facebook to set this up.

15 08 2008
JG*

Hell yes! What time. I need to make sure “the Man” doesn’t get me.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Did anyone see Tropic Thunder? How was it? It looks hilarious. Not as funny as Pineapple Express – but funny nonetheless.

15 08 2008
vitazza

Good Afternoon folks!!!
Chaotic…..do you have a decent report for me?????

Great post and I second Ne’ I have never been rude to any guy who approches me…there is really no reason for shitty behavior!!!
BUT………….being from Bmore I know and recognize stank face on all women in general even 10yr olds…..
We call it bullshit defence…and once a guy speaks the grill softens a bit…idk

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@ Chaotic: “…that shit doesn’t work with me.”

Yes, it does.

15 08 2008
rai

shyt. . . i’ll give someone the gas money if they bring it up to burtonsville. . . only good place around here is the amish market and cuba de ayer, neither of which delivers.

15 08 2008

“Basically, it’s your fault”…lol

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

dick in a cup and drive by dick slap just made my day!

“sample transaction from last night

Me: [approaches a pair of girls, addresses least attractive of the two] “Hey”
Girl #1: [looks at girl #2 as if seeking approval] “Hello.”
Me: “How’re you doing tonight?”
Girl #1: “…meh.”
Me: [notices she’s been staring at the TV] “Meh? You know what part of the problem is?”
Girl #1: “What?”
Me: “You came to a nightclub to watch the Olympics.”
Girl #1 & #2: [laughs]
Me: “C’mon. Get off this wall. Dance with me.” [offers hand to Girl #1]
Girl #1: [gently pushes my hand away] “I don’t dance.”
Me: [shoots Girl #2 a look] “…she’s kidding, right?”
Girl #2: “Nope. I don’t dance either. Sorry.” [folds arms]
Me: “That’s too bad. You ladies have a pleasant evening.”

Exchanges similar to this happened three times. Some chicks are just mad I guess”

Maybe it’s just me but I would love for a guy to approach me this way instead of the usual “yo shawty” or “hey lil’ mama can I get up on that” or some other such nonsense.

15 08 2008
rai

lol every girl does NOT like douchebags. . . i would much rahter a dude walk up with a handshake then grabbing my hips and trying to impregnate me. I guess I am old tho.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Ne’

You are the type of woman me and my friends may or may not try to get with. Since you are in such short supply we may just try to be friends with you so no busted relationships get in the way of having a cool, free spirit sister around when you’re out. It’s good to hook up with a cool sister, it’s also good just to know some when you’re out. A group of guys just having fun can draw people in, but when there are some girls in the group it makes it easier for people outside of the group to let their guard down.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

“Why can’t everybody just be straight up with one another?”

Yonnie3k- would be if picking up women were as easy as ordering the baconator on the late night… but reallistically if a dude approaches with the truth; “I don’t know you but you fine as hell and I would like a jump off,” the success rate is probably gonna be less than desirable.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Chris…try me

@ vitazza…um, you see…what had happened was…

No. I started to flirt with some random 2520 at the bar, and he was getting me a shot, but they didn’t have what I wanted. So I ended up by myself at the bar. I came with a group of people (I only knew one of them), and ended up getting a number from one of the guys in the group. All I was trying to do was get him to dance…lol.

But yes….Being that we both went to MSU, I had to make an exception.

I give it 2 weeks.

15 08 2008

I’m pretty hot (lol) so when a guy doesn’t notice me or pay me any mind. I assume he is gay, married, shy or RAIN MAN slow. My self esteem is never afflicted HEHE

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

“A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson.”

WTF kind of women do you know? or an I just an aberration?

15 08 2008
rai

lol!!!! @ Ben. . . agreed. females are a lot more willing to behave like a jumpoff when they aren’t called one.

15 08 2008
Cheekie

“Maybe it’s just me but I would love for a guy to approach me this way instead of the usual “yo shawty” or “hey lil’ mama can I get up on that” or some other such nonsense.”

It’s definitely not just you. It’s really cute when a guy trys to get a wallflower to dance with him in a non-grimy way.

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

SBPH, that sounds good in theory, but now we’re dealing with the subset of this category of “hot” women: the birdhead and the quality chick. Of course the birdhead and gonna fall for that shit and get all hype because youre showing her girl love and not her… that her m.o.! Those type of girls are always attention whores. A quality chick doesnt care how hot the dude is, she is not gonna fall for that sneaky g and throw herself at some dude because he ignored her and gave her girl some play. Wtf for?!

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ cheekie, I agree.

15 08 2008

Amadeo,

That’s why I have a lot of male associates. When a guy approaches me he feels my cool spirit, and happiness. I let him know I am taken, however I ask his name and carry a short conversation and have him laugh a little. What kills them is when I point out a chick and say she’s cute try it.

Now when I go out I have these guys buying me drinks because I remember their names and keep it friendly.

15 08 2008
sarah

Né & ChaoticDIva, the game is going down whether you are paying attention or not. whether you know the rules, if you have ever met a man in the club, you have been subjected to the game. its not a bad thing. its just what most men do. keep being a free spirit and let them fall all over themselves in an attempt to get at you. it makes the night more fun.

BenAfficial, stop talking about the damn Baconator!

15 08 2008
tfb

A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson.

complete bunk.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

Even quality women get testy after having dealt with other assholes the entire night. On average I see 10 dudes every day have an interaction with a woman that makes me want to beat them and stand over them screaming, “You’re ruining it for everyone else fuck-o!!!”.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Chaotic – [keeping my mouth shut]

@Bajan Girl – girls want the polite, complimentary guy AFTER she’s attracted to him. Before that, she wants the panty pudding.

@Everyone else – the point of ignoring the girl isn’t to make her fall the fuck in love with you. That doesn’t happen unless the girl is psychotic. The goal of ignoring her is very simple: throw her off a little bit. Once she’s thrown off, her bitch shield (that she uses to ward off the legions of idiots that offer her fish sammiches everyday) is down long enough for you to make a move. There’s really nothing all that bad about it.

15 08 2008

I agree bajan girl. That’s the best kind of approach.

lol celebrity men do that shit though…lololololo

“Hi, I’m Kanye West”..bwahahhahahahahaha No Shit!

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I am so getting a baconator for lunch!

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

lmao (yet slightly grossed out) at “panty pudding”

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

sorry bout the baconator references… i already ate; we get lunch catered on Fridays. yay Willards BBQ…

15 08 2008
Jen

“A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson.

complete bunk.”

Noooo…that shit is true.

Unless I’m sitting in a coffee shop or in a bookstore or something, and “complimentary & polite” and I are able to have some sort of memorable conversation as a result of his polite introduction, complimentary & polite stranger I dunno from Adam isn’t getting anywhere with me.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

LMAO @ Panty Pudding. SBPH/Chris, you read that letter from Khia too, huh?

Would it be gross if I ask a girl if she wants some of my “boxer batter”?

15 08 2008
Saun

I don’t go to the club looking for a man, I go just to have a good time. I don’t like for guys to offer drinks because it feels like they expect something in return. I’m cool with a guy just asking me to dance and then walking away when we’re done. There’s nothing like a good dance partner for those drunken good times.

I have two rules when I go to the club.
1. Travel light, travel right – no big crowd of girls or dancing in a circle
2. Never go looking for a man at the club. – I have yet to meet anyone that said they met their spouse in the club.

15 08 2008
sarah

Chris, did the chick last night have straight hair 😉

15 08 2008
JG*

LOL At all this banter. Chris I think you scared some girls who didn’t realize that they too can get got.

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

“girls want the polite, complimentary guy AFTER she’s attracted to him. Before that, she wants the panty pudding.”

that’s why you have to talk to women not girls because girls (or anyone with a girlish mindset) are trifling and don’t know jack shit about anything and are really fucking it up for the rest of us.

polite and complimentary is attractive and will cause the panty pudding.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

My number 1 Hitch-esque tip for nice dudes who can’t get in the door – being aloof (not an asshole) works wonders…sometimes being an asshole can work too though, but you have to watch out for those chicks.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

but reallistically if a dude approaches with the truth; “I don’t know you but you fine as hell and I would like a jump off,” the success rate is probably gonna be less than desirable.

This depends entirely on who you are approaching. Some girls would be cool with that. I am not that girl.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

LMAO @ panty pudding and boxer batter!

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Boxer batter? I’ve heard baby batter.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO@ boxer batter. That sht is stupid.

I wanted a baconator after all of the references….but b4 hearing ‘boxer batter”.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

…smh….

But yea…I know the game goes down. You see, I don’t always wait for a guy to approach me. I will flirt if I’m interested.

Maybe I’m too assertive…

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

You ladies don’t seem to understand something: MEN DO NOT WANT TO PLAY THESE GAMES.

Do you know how much easier my life would be if I could really approach an attractive girl, just be my normal jovial game-show-host self, and get somewhere with her? I soooo WISH that, as tfb put it, my previous statement was bunk. Meeting women (and not just in clubs) would be a lot less exhausting.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

yeah the boxer batter reminds me of the boy in middle school who complained that his d-charge looked like chunky peanut butter…no baconator for me now

*wretching & reading*

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Yeah, I know of the term “Baby Batter”, but Boxer Batter is not the same as Baby Batter. It’s basically the male equivalent of panty pudding after a hot sweaty day. Okay, so much for lunch. LOL

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

If a man chatted me up, and I thought he was cute, I’d be pretty pissed when he switched over to my friend. Now, I have had guys approach me (or a friend I was with) who managed to do a great job at charming the whole group while making his target known. We all thought “oh, he’s great” but we weren’t competing. I will only stick around for the club courting of a friend but for so long. It’s boring, she’s grown, she can find me if she needs me and this is a waste of my time that I could be using to go flirt with a cutie of my own or chat with other friends.

Chris, other men- When you all say “hot chick”, what do you mean? Drop dead gorgeous? Modelesque? What made the other girl less hot? In my mind, I am imagining women who look like size 4 models with mixed girl features, plus a token Naomi Campbell look alike, but all with natural hair.

SBPH- Assaulting the self-esteem of us regular looking Black women since 2007! It’s all good. I think I started reading in March and I’ve lost 22 pounds since then. I think the insecurities this blog has given me have helped, which is good in a bad way.

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

…nah.

15 08 2008

true sarah.

I’m going out this weekend, for research

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Hey JessAKARabbitt…

Hey have u heard about the BodySnatchers gang up here? The securitas guy at the front desk was telling me about it and scared the shit outta me..

And your story is exactly why I don’t go out anymore…I remember back in the late 90s (this may be before your time) there was this club called XXX or something like that and I went there for my birthday…on my way out some fool decided to mess up my Bday night by shooting wildly in the parking lot (this was on east Capitol where Big Lots is now at)…messed up my 151 buzz…bastards

15 08 2008
Jen

ST, please. You know damn well you are gorgeous.

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

WTF is a Baconator? The thought of that makes me want to vomit! Panty pudding sounds way less gross (not for me to eat, but you know what I mean).

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Ok people, I will talk to you later…my job beckons…

15 08 2008
AG

I’m sorry twirk something for Christ really got me. I burst out in laughter. I am always polite to guys in the club but sometimes they have real difficulty understanding a subtle no. So sometimes a stink face effectively gets that point across. lol .. just kidding.

15 08 2008
sarah

ST, i’ve been reading since March as well and have lost 35lbs in the process. at least now i can ride aboard SBPH Air.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

@JessAKA – Thanks…but no thanks on that little ‘chunky peanut butter’ discharge story. I rebuke that little boy.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

Yonnie- I guess I have to agree w that especially considering Saun’s list:

“I have two rules when I go to the club.
1. Travel light, travel right – no big crowd of girls or dancing in a circle
2. Never go looking for a man at the club. – I have yet to meet anyone that said they met their spouse in the club.”

you can tell the girls that are there to have a good time or chillin with there friends, or other distractions from the goal. But like Saun when clubbin, I’m probably not going to be lookin for a wifey, just a good time. So maybe the straight forward approach has some merit when dealing with the drunk jump offs. But then you look like an ass; while severely limiting your options for the rest of the night. And since for men its sometimes a numbers game, the more options, the better chance of success.

for anything more I’m still intrigued by how many of ya’ll have had coitus in the library. I swear I’m hanging in the wrong places.

15 08 2008
Cheekie

Né – lol celebrity men do that shit though…lololololo

“Hi, I’m Kanye West”..bwahahhahahahahaha No Shit!

ROFL!!! Okay, I’m just picturing him in his horizontal window blinds glasses coming up to a female all polite and shit, “Good day, Madam, my name is Kanye West. How are you doing this fine evening?”

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@ST:

The Baconator consists of “two 4 oz. beef patties, two slices of American cheese, SIX strips of bacon, mayonaise and ketchup”. They sell them at Wendy’s.

If you feel like being bloated and farting every whichaway and wanting to look like Aretha after a hard day of eating deep-fried batter dipped ham sammiches, the Baconator is great. If you care about your health, not so much.

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

Yvonne 3k and Jeresmom: go to http://www.nappturality.com…they have some nice info and pics and instructions on nappy hair…I’ve been a member for some years and have been natural for almost 8 years…just finished doing box braids on my hair last weekend
HTH

15 08 2008
sarah

IDK about most of ya’ll, but if i just want to dance or go out and have fun with my girls, i go to a restaurant or park at the bar. no sense in getting all dressed up and paying $20+ to go hear bad music, which you have no control over, where you KNOW men are going to hit on you. i call BS on this whole “i am just here with my girls” crap. the only time i go to the club for my girls is for a Bday, and i let it be known that i am only there for them.

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

THat should be: http://www.nappturality.com

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ ST

There is no consistant physical type to describe a hot girl. Dark, light, short hair, long hair…however I was never a dude with “type”.

Also…walking up on a group of women is good if you can pull it off, but you have to be wary of certain ones in the group that can ruin you for the rest. It’s the equivalent of a woman getting relationship advice from her friend that just broke up with her baby daddy cause he just had 5 kids in the last month that weren’t her’s. Sometimes I wonder why the women who are open to meeting a dude don’t leave that type of woman at home when they go out. Just like I don’t take dudes that would do things that would reflect poorly on me out.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

YorubaQueen,

I’m 21 but I know what spot you are talking about-I live not that far from there…what are the bodysnatchers???

A Baconator is great! Double cheese, Double Burgers, 20 slices of bacon, mayo, I don’t even think it comes with Lettuce or Tomato…and Double the depression when you are done because you feel like a cow and you want another one!

P.S. regardless of my obbsession with bacon, i’m not fat (hint: Chris, holla at me, not my girl, on facebook!) 🙂

15 08 2008
B4Prez

‘deep-fried batter dipped ham sammiches’ – WTF?? LOLOLOL

15 08 2008

Cheekie,

That’s what he said with that cheesy kindergarten smile. I just wanted to pinch his cheeks.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Amadeo: It’s the equivalent of a woman getting relationship advice from her friend that just broke up with her baby daddy cause he just had 5 kids in the last month that weren’t her’s. Sometimes I wonder why the women who are open to meeting a dude don’t leave that type of woman at home when they go out. Just like I don’t take dudes that would do things that would reflect poorly on me out.

It’s because they know she wont be trying to hear any men…so she can watch the purses.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I don’t know what is worse, the Baconator or the Omelet Sandwich that BK sells for breakfast in the morning. Just seeing them makes me want to have a quintuple-bypass surgery.

My brother is a big guy like I am, and I remembered ordering a Baconator and eating it in front of him. The look on his face was priceless. He just looked at me eating it and said, “You fat fuck!” and walked off.

And I felt like shit after eating it. It’s that bad.

15 08 2008
tp2

wanting to look like Aretha after a hard day of eating deep-fried batter dipped ham sammiches, the Baconator is great…~HAHAHAHAHA

on that note, hello everyone 🙂

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

I’ve been reading since February or March and I’ve gained 10 pounds.

I’m going to get that Escoveitched fish now…mmm and a patti and cocoa bread…and festival…yeah festival.

15 08 2008

“My brother is a big guy like I am, and I remembered ordering a Baconator and eating it in front of him. The look on his face was priceless. He just looked at me eating it and said, “You fat fuck!” and walked off.”

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

Just like I don’t take dudes that would do things that would reflect poorly on me out.

@Amadeo- I hear that one. One of my boys gets a little too characterized when we go out. He even takes on a spanish alias after drinking Tequila. That’s my dog but sometimes it can be little much when I’m trying to front like I’m sophistimacated. Back in the day, this was the friend that always started some drama at the club; usually fights. One of my other dogs was the one that you would have to carry back to the car and scream at later for passing out while vomiting on your roomates bed with nothing but his boxers on (awww dude wtf!).

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Thanks Jen. I’d like to think I am easy enough on the eyes (especially as I get slimmer about the thighs), but I have always felt like men have these rigid beauty standards and no matter how many people (male or female) tell me I’m beautiful, I still am not…..enough. I dunno quite how to describe it. But, then I have female friends who are 30, 40, 50+ pounds heavier than me (and shorter) who just have this crazy appealing swagger about them. Oy vey. It’s too much.

15 08 2008
Jen

@ Amadeo

All of my closest girlfriends are pretty. People treat pretty girls very kindly. When you go out with pretty girls, you don’t have to pay to get into clubs or you get huge discounts or free drinks. If somebody forgets her ID, it is ignored. Gay men come up to you and give you hugs and tell you that they love or want to be you. Going out with the girls becomes an EXPERIENCE. FACT: having just ONE homely girl in your group decreases your chances of any of these things happening by upwards from 34%.

I know it is shallow, but I build up walls to keep the ugly girls out. The fact is that one day, I will get married. I don’t want my wedding photos ruined because, in a moment of weakness, I befriended an ugly girl. I have to think about the future.

15 08 2008
Quiet Storm

“JG*, i once heard a reggae song called, “Shake That Ass in the Name of the Lord.” no lie.”

Oh s!@#, I heard this song too! I was on the floor laughing. I couldnt believe it

15 08 2008
B4Prez

That BK breakfast sandwich is good too…at least that’s what I heard.

Is there a support group for fat asses on the inside?

15 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Sarah! Congrats yo! We can get on the plane!!!!!! What have you done with your big girl clothes, out of curiousity? I have made a point to try to get rid of most of them and try and pretend those days never existed. I also have a pile that I am gonna alter when I get a chance because I don’t want to lose my whole wardrobe. Are you done losing?

15 08 2008

238TH!!!!!!!!

15 08 2008

“l of my closest girlfriends are pretty. People treat pretty girls very kindly. When you go out with pretty girls, you don’t have to pay to get into clubs or you get huge discounts or free drinks. If somebody forgets her ID, it is ignored. Gay men come up to you and give you hugs and tell you that they love or want to be you. Going out with the girls becomes an EXPERIENCE. FACT: having just ONE homely girl in your group decreases your chances of any of these things happening by upwards from 34%. ”

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN!

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Jen: ‘I know it is shallow, but I build up walls to keep the ugly girls out. The fact is that one day, I will get married. I don’t want my wedding photos ruined because, in a moment of weakness, I befriended an ugly girl. I have to think about the future.’

WOWOWOWOWOW…..talk about keepin it raw, lol

15 08 2008
Jen

“238TH!!!!!!!!”

*dead*

15 08 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH @ Jen! Damn.

15 08 2008
Bassey

I’m tempted to go to Park tonight and silently observe Chris’s mating rituals. They sound fascinating.

Natural hair women. My stylist is amazing.
If you’re in the DC metro area, you should check her out.
http://www.noiredesignconcepts.com/

15 08 2008
JG*

Yea! I am President of the Mental Fat Ass Club.

I went to iHOP two weeks ago. Ordered the country omlete (complete with eggs, hams, cheese, and hashbrowns on the inside) and I said F*** three lil pancakes! Give me the waffle instead!!

And didn’t want to share.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Jen…I must be shallow too, we are terrible…I just don’t want the unattractive friend to feel bad cuz i know how cruel this world is to people like that…the free stuff is great but what floats my boat is going into a room (like one of the lounges on campus) full of fine guys (usually Greek for some reason) and the hatred and concentrated jealousy that comes over the faces of the normies (as Peter Griffin would say)…lmao…sigh

Chris, maybe you were right about the competitivenes of hot chicks…

Just out of curiousity what is hot to you guys???

15 08 2008
Bassey

Also, I’ve been in DC for almost a year. I went to high school here and college in Baltimore. I was in NY for about 8 years and then came back last summer.

DC SUCKS FOR DATING! IT SUCKS!

15 08 2008
Jen

That isn’t raw! I was being satirical, but I actually know a girl who told one of her best friends (a cradle to the grave type friend) she couldn’t be in her wedding party because she was pregnant.

15 08 2008
brran1

Idc what anyone says… the best drunk food to have is 5 double bacon cheeseburgers from White Castle with a “medium” (32 oz.) soda.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Can we start a SBPH prayer circle for Amy Winehouse? She just better be happy that she’s not black carrying on like this. SMH

http://theblemish.com/2008/08/amy-winehouse-might-have-overreacted/

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Jen

Wha you described is why the method works. When every other dude is up in your face…the one that isn’t becomes more appealing.

15 08 2008
tp2

ok, so…

I am a pretty girl, I am generally never rude, whether at the club or walking down the street or elsewhere, I always smile at people, its just who I am. I say all of that to say that I am approachable. No one tries to talk to me. EVER. I have natural hair, I am chocolate, I don’t weigh a metric ton, but I don’t wear a 3 either.

I say all of that to say, I think guys are somehow attracted to those with the jacked up attitudes. I am convinced that you like drama filled crazy girls…lol. I say that with the utmost respect. hahaha

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

We don’t have a White Castle! I’ve never eaten there before, lol

15 08 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAhah Né. Dumbass.
Random: I’m mad that during lunch today, my husband told me to “release your inner fatgirl [real name], it’s good for the environment.” I hate him.

Rolling to the club only three deep could keep “the homely girl” from ruining your chances. No?

15 08 2008
tp2

@brran1–you HAVE to include chicken rings!!! OMG! please don’t forget about those…lol…

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Bassey

I can’t pity you…you, M and I…split up and jetted as soon as me and my peoples met you guys. That household was wonderful….I always meant to ask…were you guys burning potpourri…we felt so…comfortable.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Damn, you’ll take those wedding pics to the grave….

@jessAKA – A hot chick is typically an attractive chick with a nice body, and the ‘swagger’/personality to make up for whatever her shortcomings are.

15 08 2008
Knatural

tp2 – Men like bitches. Women like assholes. Simple.

15 08 2008
Jen

Amy Winehouse was right to smack that bitch. You can’t be running up on strangers. YOU’LL GET SONNED.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

You people hitting me up on Facebook, The Man has that site blocked so I can’t respond. But I’m trying to eat now! Yes I was serious. Hit me up via email – you know my name – its on FB! firstlast@gmail.com

15 08 2008
B4Prez

BTW, the ‘so hot you’re unapproachable syndrome’ is real, and kills chances everyday. With as much garbage u get from cocky ppl, it makes it very difficult for ppl to believe that a beautiful person could actually be a decent person at the same time.

15 08 2008
Esquire

tp2: and everyone else:

I think it depends on your age and where you are. Not all young men arent exactly looking for a wife at 18-24…25…dare I say 30…

I also dont agree that many women WANT to play games. We are fighting over black men. You are such a rare commodity. Not that there arent those who have a guy for every minute of the day, but all of my friends just want a nice guy who will be loyal to them and not beat on em.

15 08 2008
london

afternoon!
you know.. you ladies need some ‘L word standard’ lesbian friends to hang with…
i have some seriously fab nights out with my scissor sisters…
and no.. they don’t hit on you.. not like a straight man would…
and there is no judging… if they look – it is only in admiration..
you are female and you are fab.. that is it…
it is soho pride here in london this weekend and i am going to party hard with my gay brothers and sisters…
am getting my sashay on as i type…

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

JessAKARabbitt…I think there is a WHite Castle in Kenosha…
And the BodySNatchers are supposedly some gang on the northside (around Cherry) that captures rival drug dealers and locks them up in cages and tortures them before killing them and mutilating their bodies…I’ll have to look it up

ANd did y’all hear about Master P starting a new tv station called Better Black TV? http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080815/tv_nm/miller_dc;_ylt=AtX.u3x9L_yNutg0I0KjY6JxFb8C

15 08 2008
Esquire

london…I love my lesbian friend. She is very lipstick and hits on/flirts with me in a good nonsexual way. Kinda like how 6th graders flirt. If I liked cooter, she would def. be mine.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

*FYI* special bulletin

Once again; if you are playing mob wars; also try Gang wars (same concept)

*now back to our regularly scheduled topic

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

scissor sisters? I’m sorry, urban dictionary is blocked. Somebody. Please help me…

15 08 2008
Esquire

I was with Master P until he mentioned Bob Johnson. Now I automatically cant see the rest of the article.

15 08 2008
brran1

@tp2 You like the chicken rings? Eh. I was never a fan. I’m good with those burgers. You know what’s sad though? We don’t have a White Castle in Baltimore, so the friends and I trek to Brooklyn, NY to see family and to get White Castle (moreso for the White Castle).

15 08 2008
Jen

scissor sisters = lesbians

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

“I was with Master P until he mentioned Bob Johnson. Now I automatically cant see the rest of the article”

@Esquire – LMAO I overstand but u have to admit as much as one HATES LOATHES DESPISES BJ…he built a billion dollar empire…of course he did it while depleting the few brain cells in our children’s heads but it was done…hopefully MasterP can do better (hoping wishing and praying)

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

Scissor sisters- lol

reminds me of that one southpark episode with Ms Garrison; “oh scissor me”

15 08 2008
Esquire

YONNIE:

Scissor
Verb meant to describe any situation where two females engaged in lesbian lust spread their legs wide open facing each other. Then they hook up their meat pockets by sreading around each other’s vag. Kicking their legs jumping jack-style is an exciting finishing move to go along with scissor action.

15 08 2008
london

@ esquire.. cooter? never heard that one..
cooch is the nearest i use!
i will be saying scooter all weekend..

and this pisses me off…

uk black pride is also this weekend and it is the only pride i know of that you have to pay to go to…
yes.. wtf is up with that???
they making sure there aint no black in the rainbow…..
trifilin’…

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

@Knat “Men like bitches. Women like assholes. Simple.”

sigh.. that sucks…

I will now continue singing old Heavy D song “I want somebody to love me for me” (at least that’s what I think it is) as I watch the clock slowly move towards my emancipation time.

15 08 2008
Esquire

YorubaQueen

I also dont admire crack dealers who can do the same thing.

“depleting the few brain cells in our children’s heads but it was done”

Everyone on here knows every day I come on here and say BoB Johnson can suck it.

15 08 2008
london

i mean i will be saying cooter..
although scooter sounds cool too..
lol…

15 08 2008
YorubaQueen

LOL@ “Everyone on here knows every day I come on here and say BoB Johnson can suck it.” Esquire…point taken…

But if he hadn’t mentioned BJ…for arguement’s sake…what do you think of it?

15 08 2008
Esquire

BTW:
I did not make up that def. of scissor…I went to urbandictionary.com oops forgot to say that.

15 08 2008
Esquire

I think his tv network sounds like a good idea. I thought BET woulda been a good idea too, if it had been, in fact, black entertainment.

The name implies that all blacks want to do is watch cooter poppin and guns in music videos. Coupled with the occasional coonerficness that is Comic View. I cant even stomach the new shows on there now.

TvOne and Master P TV…whatever it is…seem like good ideas. They need to add some black design shows, cooking shows, and home improvement shows too.

15 08 2008
london

licky licky sister is my favourite slang term though…
always makes me smile…

gotta go now..
legs to de fuzz and pedicure to perform..
cannot let the gays down..

if you do not come correct.. you will be ostracised noisily…

have a great weekend..

15 08 2008
Esquire

london.
cooter by far is my favorite word. I hate Va-Jay Jay. that sounds so stupid. cooter is just funny.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

Wait…wait… we have TVOne here and it sucks ass. It’s not as bad all around as BET…but it still sucks ass for the most part.

15 08 2008
Bassey

@Amadeo-

How are you just going to straight up not feel sorry for me! This is why we can’t get no where as a people.

And yeah, that house was special. I love those girls too much. Did you see the parties from my birthday party? It was like ’97 all over again. M was always cooking something and making smell goods. That was so special we all had something to bring to the table so we never had to worry about “crowding” or whatever y’all are talking about.

I honestly don’t put that much thought into what my friends look like. I mean, I think all my friends are gorgeous* but if someone “not gorgeous” wanted to hang out as long as they weren’t lame and boring, then hell, c’mon!

15 08 2008
Ms. Sula

“I have NEVER been rude to a guy who approached me. I have never gotten cursed out for it either.

I try to be nice and say I have a man or something, or hold a small convo ask their name yadda yadda. You can’t get all GI jane on a brother for being attracted to you. I take an approach as a compliment ( even the red dots). I mean really I have to give it to men for having the courage to do the approaching. I barely have the balls when I’m drunk.”

@Ne… We can roll…

I had to f’in cosign even after 200+ messages.

15 08 2008
Esquire

Amadeo.

TVOne isnt the best in the world. But for a new network, I think the programming is okay. I cant even lie…I catch myself flipping to the old episodes of NY Undercover. lol

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I like TVone…they are actually way more politically conscious than BET and they bring back the classics to combat the coonery of VIACOM! sorry, i just think VIACOM! should be spelled in caps with an ! cuz it’s evil-televised…

15 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Esquire

I just hate that “Black Men Revealed”. Irks me to no end…they ain’t revealing shit.

15 08 2008

lol ms. sula Glad you agree!

15 08 2008
Knatural

NY Undercover? Malik Yoba ashy-lips having ass.

I have to defend my city a little bit: Though DC dating sucks, there are a lot of good-looking, grown, gainfully employeed men here. The last time I went to The Park, we saw quite a few TALL, chocolatey, peanutbuttery, suit-jacket wearing guys. I urge that women going to the club, whatever your objective – just chill with friends, dance, whatever – to be more open. You will get hit on. And for guys not to be soooo intimidated. Easier said than done…

15 08 2008
Esquire

hmmm…Ive never seen it so I cant comment. It sounds kinda stupid like all shows …”___women revealed” “50 secrets yo man wont tell you…”

I hate when people think all one sex, race, ethnic group thinks the same way. You cant make a show revealing that. ugh.

15 08 2008
Esquire

knatural. leave his ashy lips alone. They COULD look like Bill Bellamy who looks like he stops off at Popeyes before every appearance he makes.

Put The Lip Gloss Down.

15 08 2008
Amadeo

I’m starting a show…my nuts revealed. It’ll just be me reading a list of people/shows I hate and offering my nuts for their consumption.

15 08 2008
TheChad

hmmm…

1) i’m usually too drunk to coherently approach anyone by the time i make it to the club… but i think i’ll do some research this weekend here in raleigh tonight and charlotte tomorrow…

2) the best after club food has to be Cook-Out… i don’t know if yall got em… may be a southern thing like Biscuitville lol!

3) Cooter is an old word i thought… just today i’ve heard “sugardish”, “salt fish” and “VAG!”

4) you can’t call tvone a good station for playing reruns of old show that were already good before tvone existed (NY undercover, martin…). That’s like saying Solja Boy’s a good artists because his album was a burned copy of Illmatic….

5)does it matter that i just got to work and i’m leaving in like an hour?

6)SCISSOR ME XERXES!!!!

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Black Men Revealed is stupid this season-they have new people…the episode with Pimpin’ Ken was ridiculous…he is a fucking zip-coon hater!

15 08 2008
Dekela

I can’t imagine spending all types of money, hours getting dressed makeup,days picking outfits… ALL to just stand by a wall or hang out with your girlfriends..

Sounds pretty homosexual to me….

Oh and Chris… pleeeeeease go up to a stank chick and do the following

1. Walk up and say “umm why is there cum in your hair?

2. Go up to a women who has been given you the (good) eye and say “can you hold this for me?” and give her some torn up gum wrapper and walk away

AAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

15 08 2008
Cheekie

I know a lot of people who have TVOne, but my cable provider doesn’t have it. At least not basic. I am intrigued, though about “Black Men Revealed” What’s up with that? What goes on during that show?

15 08 2008
shabooty

i say ‘hey boo … ya know i got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my cock… i heard ya like to… blow money’.

OH
:p

15 08 2008

SO if I ever become single knat, I can come to DC and snatch me one up real quick since the black chicks there are acting brand new? I should have been a traveling nurse.

My Plan B

1. Get a room
2. Find the mall, spend my usual 2 hours there looking for my outfit vision
3. Go to the park and take a shot
4. Smile and give the men the eye’s
5. Filter them out, pick a good one and move him to california.

15 08 2008
tp2

SHABOOTY!!!! LMAOOOO…lol…

15 08 2008
Esquire

I’m starting a show…my nuts revealed. It’ll just be me reading a list of people/shows I hate and offering my nuts for their consumption.

I hate you.

15 08 2008
Jen

I have never heard the word “sugardish.” I must say that I like. I’m sure the word will sound lovely in my drawl.

15 08 2008

lmaooooo @ shaboot

whoooooooooooooooooooooo lol

15 08 2008
tp2

Né – you’re a nurse?? I am jealous of you…lol…

I went back to school for nursing but had to take some time off… 😦
depresses me when I think about it…

15 08 2008
Knatural

Né – pretty much!

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

lmao @shabooty’s ghostface reference..

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

“I’m starting a show…my nuts revealed. It’ll just be me reading a list of people/shows I hate and offering my nuts for their consumption.”

ROTFkhgfshgfkshgfkhgsfhgdsf!

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

@ Ne
that sounds like a good plan just substitute NYC for Cali

“i say ‘hey boo … ya know i got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my cock… i heard ya like to… blow money’.”

HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Amadeo
“I’m starting a show…my nuts revealed. It’ll just be me reading a list of people/shows I hate and offering my nuts for their consumption.”

what will the name of the show be?

15 08 2008
Bajan Girl

wait ignore the last part of that comment
I can’t read good sometimes
fuck it I need to go home

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Black Men Revealed:

Consists of a panel of two brother and various other guests, some qualified for the topic, others…not so much

They discuss the topics that supposedly are on the minds of Black women:

Why do black men date outside their race
Why do black men marry other races faster than the black woman
Sex
Lying, cheating, etc.

The idea for the show is good, but it is usually poorly executed: having a Harvard therapist and Pimpin’ Ken on a show to discuss relationships=bad idea—->Pimpin’ Ken calling the doctor a lame and nearly pimp slapping him back to the Ivy League (I was embarrassed because Pimpin’ Ken is from Milwaukee)

15 08 2008
Esquire

Pimpin KEN???? ROFL oh shit.

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

I want to watch that show Black Men Revealed. It sounds hilarious.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

Wait! Did ya’ll hear that Diamond and the Prime Minister had a fist fight? First Kwame Kilpatrick…now this

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

August 14, 2008. LisaRaye and ole boy had a physical altercation last night:

The Premier of the Turks and Caicos Islands (TCI) Michael Misick, and his estranged wife LisaRaye McCoy-Misick were involved in a violent confrontation at the Premier’s mansion on Wednesday night, according to reliable sources. The fight, which reportedly occurred in the presence of a number of government officials, including the Minister for Health and Education, Lillian Been-Boyce, resulted in both Misicks seeking emergency medical attention for bites. Each has filed a police report against the other. On Tuesday, Michael Misick had released a brief press statement, saying, “I am announcing that I am separated from LisaRaye McCoy-Misick.”

LisaRaye had returned to the TCI this week, reportedly to negotiate a divorce settlement but, according to our sources, this process had gone very badly from her standpoint. Misick is said to have refused to allow his wife to stay at the Premier’s mansion and she is believed to be staying at a local beach resort. On Wednesday night, for unknown reasons, LisaRaye decided to confront Misick at his mansion, which resulted in the violent altercation.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

When they had Johnny “Muthafuckin” Mack from the Foxxhole Radio show, I knew I’d pass on GP.

And yes, I know that TVOne is not all the way black owned, but if Comcast and DirecTV saw the need for positive black-oriented programming, and BET couldn’t, give me TVOne anyday. Martin reruns are da bizness.

I hope they don’t show those Bid Whist tournaments anymore. That was coonery at its best.

15 08 2008
Jen

I can’t get ENOUGH of ya’ll calling Lisa Raye ‘Diamond’.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

And did anyone read that bullshit statement that BET put out after Panachereport.com put them on blast for their lack of hiring Black female hosts on their network? Fuggouttahere with that…

15 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO@Amadeo

BTW, i just had a baconator…and it was so good I had to slap my mama! And her mama! *secretly decides to have another for dinner*

15 08 2008
tp2

**very off topic but…**

one of my friends just told me that she was listening to the radio and this “girl” called in bc her bf/fiancee/husband wants kids and she can’t give him any bc “she” had the snip, tuck and roll to give herself a pocket…He doesn’t know this…

MEN~how would you react to this?? (this is pusre madness!!!) lol…

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I remember when Diamond was on Wendy Williams promoting some chitlin circuit play she was in and talking about how the producers on “All of Us” weren’t respecting her. “They didn’t realize that I have a country to run”.

Diamond, saddown.

15 08 2008
Esquire

Yonnie I heard.

Im mad yall calling that hoe diamond….oh I meant Princess whateva tha fuck she is.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

@Rev –

Is the statement posted online somewhere?

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

@tp2

Seriously question my manhood.
Cry.
Get drunk as a skunk.
Get high as a kite.
Eat fried chicken.
Cry some more.
Beat the hell out of that “girl”
Cry some more.
Eat more chicken.
Go to sleep.

15 08 2008
Esquire

resulted in both Misicks seeking emergency medical attention for bites.

Hold UP. I missed that part. I almost peed on myself.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Im mad yall calling that hoe diamond….oh I meant Princess whateva tha fuck she is.

LisaRaye can discover and sell the cures for AIDS, Cancer and the common cold, and she’d still be Diamond to me. And if she does, I’ll tell her, “Make the money, don’t let the money make you”

Like I said earlier, she is not Michelle Obama, Princess Grace or the Queen of Zamunda. Saddown

15 08 2008
tp2

@gabriel~chicken?? lol…good for the soul??

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

@tp2- that’s a scary thought right there… wow

15 08 2008
Esquire

I just cant stop laughing…

This bia says she has a country to run?
Diamond? Diamond??? I may go to Turks for our anniversary SIMPLE because these two coons were biting each other. TCI is crunk.

15 08 2008
Jen

“I have a country to run.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHA

*breathes*

HAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAA HA.

Wooooo!!!

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

BET’s Donkey Ass response (they were criticsized for not having Af-Am female hosts and promoting their Latina hosts instead). Do keep in mind that I’ve never heard of half of these hosts they claim they have :

BET Networks respects the power and importance of blogging, but we also believe that for the benefit of our audience, we must distinguish fact from fiction. In response to posts on SOHH.com’s Ya Heard blog and the Panache Report, Julissa is no longer on BET, and hosts Danella (BLACK CARPET), Alesha Renee (THE 5ive and BET NOW) and Jina Johnson (BET NEWS) are African American. The names of the BET shows and Rocsi’s nationality as described on SOHH.com are inaccurate.

BET Networks is proud of the incredible Black women we have representing our channels – not just on our hosted shows, but on all of our specials and series across the board. From the compelling young females on Baldwin Hills to our talented judges on Sunday Best to the knowledgeable panelists we’ve had on Hip Hop vs. America, to name just a few of our shows, BET Networks has been and will continue to be committed to ensuring we have strong Black female representation on our networks.

Above all, BET Networks proudly seeks to include and explore Black women throughout the African Diaspora, as shown through the “Am I My Sister’s Keeper” segment of Hip Hop vs. America II, moderated by MC Lyte, where our brilliant all-female panel crossed complexions, ages, homelands and backgrounds.

We thank SOHH.com and all of our viewers, supporters and critics for contributing to the dynamic conversation of Black women’s roles at BET Networks and the media at large, as it is our goal to not only host and participate in this dialogue, but to also incorporate some of the solutions that come from these discussions.

BET, don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s a hurricane. Fuck you.

15 08 2008
Esquire

Rev….please.

omg omg. please.

“Make the money, don’t let the money make you”

damn damn.. lol I cant breathe

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

@tp2

Yeah, is there any problem that chicken (preferably fried) can’t solve?

15 08 2008
AG

Shabooty – HILARIOUS!!!!

15 08 2008
Esquire

compelling young females on Baldwin Hills??…

Please direct the discussion back to Bites…I mean Diamond…I mean LisaRaye.

15 08 2008
shabooty

ya’ll need to rent: pimps up, hoes down!

great documentary.

15 08 2008
TheChad

Julissa is on MTV now….

they snatched her long face up quick!

15 08 2008

:sidenote…mobwars:

So by attacking this guy a week ago I discovered that I get $70,000 each time I attack :). I attack him until he goes to the hospital, as soon as he gets out I attack him again. This dummy has put me on the hitlist at least 7 times paying out 5-10 million dollars now. So I sent him this message today:

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Thanks for all of the money you put in my bank. How does it feel to keep paying to kill me and then getting your ass whooped by me for 70000
each time …bwahahahahahahahaha 350,000 in a matter of a minute. I love you!!!

15 08 2008
tp2

yeah, that’s a mess!!! can you imagine~well no I couldn’t…

Chris-what is your response to that madness??

do you all think that is grounds for hitting a “woman”?? lol…

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Enh, late to the party as per usual. I don’t get hangovers, because the only time I drink is at a churrasquiera, which is rare.

I AM having *ahem* aftershocks though. Viva la morning wood! I couldn’t be a bitch today if I wanted to.

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

What the eff is up with Mobwars?

15 08 2008
Esquire

what is mobwars? Am I dating myself?

15 08 2008
tp2

@gabriel- you’ve stumped me there…chicken always makes you feel better. No matter what. That’s why they always serve whole flocks of chicken after funerals. It lifts spirits. lmao…

15 08 2008

MOB WARS=application on facebook.

For that game alone I should be fired. Not to mention SBPH.
I have to prepare evals at home this weekend because I have been slacking.

15 08 2008
TheChad

lmao @ “viva la morning wood”!

you have a better reason than i do for being late to the party… i was just being lazy…

… i really need to work on the quality of my mornings…

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Chicken is an antidepressant. That’s a fact. Why esle would that dude request KFC for the rest of his life in prison? He has that, and conjugal visits. He’s smarter than Brian Nichols, that’s for sure.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Hmmm, finding out my ‘chick’ had a dick. Um, Homicide? Or how about just a good asswhoopin?

And then I’d fly down to Brazil and ahem, fraternize with the local saleswomen to cleanse my soul.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

she is still calling herself First Lady of the Turks & Caicos Islands. lmao

15 08 2008
gabrieloneverything

@heavenleiblu

LMAO!

15 08 2008

TP2 so true I love me some fried chicken.

Fried chicken cures cancer!

15 08 2008
Esquire

She should be the First Biter of the TCI…I mean who the hell bites.

How long were they married

15 08 2008

SHE BIT HIM?

AHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That woman is crazier than a junk yard dog.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

@Ne

I keep fighting these broke ass sons of b’s. I havent even got my armored range yet, dammit.

15 08 2008

ben I will email you on face book how to get the most out of your money. It’s soooo worth it!

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@Esq: A little bit over 2 years. I should’ve taken bets.

And biting?! Hey, you can take the girl outta the South Side of Chicago…

Also, speaking of fried chicken, do any of you know of Miss Peachez? Yes, this is old, but still, FAIL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGrqW3nx5HM

I had that as a ringtone for awhile to get ppl’s reaction. Priceless.

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

diamond- “And all of the other things that are going on. All of the disrespect is just …. [pauses] … I will remain uplifting and pray for him”

15 08 2008
TheChad

Crazy women bite, esquire….. oh do they bite…

They bite because crazy is contagious and can be transmitted through bodily fluids…. like vampires and bitchassness….

promise me you all will protect yourselves from this epidemic…

you seem to be the last normal women left…

perhaps i should move…

15 08 2008
tp2

you guys are going to have to school me on mob wars! you make it sound so fun! lol…

15 08 2008
tp2

diamond and ike are too much for me…lol…

15 08 2008
Esquire

WTF..

my toddler doesnt even bite people. SHIT I wish I could see a fight with a women biting. I have to leave work early..I aint gettin shit done

15 08 2008
Esquire

I mean to plant your fucking teeth into a human being? was this some sort of brawl. I would have wet my pants.

Im sure BET will invite Ol Bitey bitey to host the bET awards now.

15 08 2008

I wish amotherfuckerwould BITE ME!

15 08 2008
B4Prez

1. SMH @ BET execs (a bunch of Ivy grads) always tryin to feed some garbage to the ‘little ppl’. I rebuke Debra Lee

2. No there is not any problem that fried chicken can’t solve. I promise.

3. I would sell 51% of my soul for BET to cancel Baldwin Hills and replace it with a blank/black screen.

4. Julissa has the complexion connection for MTV. The YT’s know wasup; they read that report that the Latinos are about to start runnin’ sht. Black ppl will of course be picketing Latina magazine in 2042 for lack of black models, instead of buying a damn black magazine. SMH

Back to our regularly scheduled programming…

15 08 2008

she married the wrong man, WHERE IS MIKE TYSON?

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Wait til LIsaRaye gets her sister (DaBrat) on that ass. Nigga gon get a bottle busted over his head. ( watch me screw up this html)


You just wait.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Have you’ll seen this b4?

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I just went and got the baconator meal (with a bottle of water, lol) and why was the total $6.66???!!!!

15 08 2008
Esquire

BOTH of those bitches are crazy. Can you imagine the family reunions?

She is going to get Da Brat AND VIVICA FOX’s mentally deranged ass on him…oh shit. There may be a war over there.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@B4Prez:

YES! I remember that!

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

too bad the brat is on lock down for a min. w those charges… heaven

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

I love Doug and Ryan Stewart. I try to listen to their radio show everyday – and I don’t even watch sports. They’re (or at least they appear to be) such good men. I wanna call ’em up and ask them to hook me up with one of their like minded friends.

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Vivica ain’t gon throw know bows/blows. She don’t want them tits and lips deflated. LOL

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I’m sorry but I hate everything on BET except Baldwin Hills!!! That show is crackin!!!

15 08 2008
Esquire

But Ms. Fox will stalk that ass like the CIA according to 50 cent. mmmmhahaha

15 08 2008
Esquire

JEss….
I will pretend you did not say that.

15 08 2008
TheChad

have yall tried to watch the show “the boot” on BET…

It’s like Elimidate after a gang initiation…

15 08 2008
B4Prez

@JessAKA- U must not be in NY, becus the sandwich alone costs $5.41.

And did u actually say that u luv Baldwin Hills? If so, then I rebuke you in the name of the baconator. SMH

15 08 2008
B4Prez

‘The Boot’ needs the boot.

15 08 2008
Yonnie 3k

LMAO @ that article about Da Brat. The only thing that woulda made it better is if they had said, “Da Brat is the sister of the First Lady of TCI.”

15 08 2008
tp2

3. I would sell 51% of my soul for BET to cancel Baldwin Hills and replace it with a blank/black screen.

^^you sir, are awesome.

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

JessAKA Rabbitt (19:45:32) :

I’m sorry but I hate everything on BET except Baldwin Hills!!! That show is crackin!!!

You’ve just been voted off the island

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

@B4Prez

IMMEDJATLEY! (c) Lloyd

15 08 2008
BenAfficial

diamond already tried to strong arm-

“Last night LisaRaye, her cousin Phillip Travis, and her publicist Lynn Jetter assaulted the guard at the Premier’s home, proceeded to ransack the house, and then assaulted the Premier and his sister. As the result of her assault on them, both the Premier and his sister were taken to the hospital with injuries and later released. ”

she tried to bring the fam in on this one.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I bought the meal: the sandwich, the fries (I hate wendy’s fries, so i ended up only eating like 4), and a bottle of water and it was $6.66…creepy….

Give BALDWIN HILLS a chance…am I the youngest one here?! i think it’s interesting and funny

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Am I the only one that remembers “Oh Drama” on BET (aka, the “keepin it real” version of “The View”)? I hated Kim Whitley with a passion. Laughs like a fucking hyena. But Vanessa Bell Calloway can still get it. I ought to have a cougar harem with her, Sherry Carter, Madelyn Wood and Vanessa Williams.

15 08 2008
Jen

I had never heard of Baldwin Hills, the tv show, until this moment. I googled and youtubed it, and I am sorry that I did.

15 08 2008
Esquire

Jess…no boo boo.
Baldwin Hills deserves nothing.

Oh Drama sucked so much ass.

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

@Rev Love. Of all the things to hate on that show, you picked Kym, and her hyena laugh? Have you forgotten, the ACTUAL hyena, Sheryl Underwood? OR is that really Wesley Snipes in drag, trying to dodge doing time for tax evasion?

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

YOU HATE WENDY’S FRIES!!?? They’re the greatest… “and I think I tasted egg and cinnamon” <– A baconator to whoever can place that quote

15 08 2008
tp2

@JEN~I’m sorry that you just had to lose 178,000 brain cells for the time that you spent looking for and at that show. my condolences

15 08 2008
TheChad

why does BET always imitate other shows from other channels only so much worse?

Oh Drama! -> the View
Baldwin Hills -> The Hills
How I’m Living -> Cribs
106 & Park -> TRL
Hell Date, The Boot – > (fill in random dating show)

Is it just me or once you ninja-rize something it becomes a lot less entertaining…

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

@Yonnie:

i beleive that’s Tyrone Biggums! I’ll pass on the Baconator, though. I don’t really mess with the swint like that. I actually don’t know what the hell a Baconator is or where to get one, either.

15 08 2008
SoCalGal420

Rev Leon Lonnie Luv-hahahahaha! Holy shit, “Fry that chicken” is not only a motif of my life, it is now my new ringtone if I can find it, thank you for making my day! “Where my hot sauce, I don’t want no ketchup!” fuckin dyin’ over here…
HeavenLeiBlue-ha@Sheryl Underwood; does she still hold a big ass purse when she does standup? And I concur, I also took a “mental health” day to recover from some blessed morning wood action that led to a thorough rogering in the shower…*sigh*

15 08 2008
B4Prez

@ JessAKA – I’m convinced fast food is so cheap because all they do is add water to everything and somehow it comes out tasting like chicken.

As for your Baldwin Hills theory…*crickets*…I’d like to push the entire cast down Baldwin Hills. *Maybe I should pitch a pilot to Master P TV*…
——————————————————-

@Rev – I remember that show, and yes Kim Whitley was…and still is…loud and annoying. And while Vanessa Bell Calloway can still get it, she lost 3.675 points for being on Baldwin Hills….but I guess a check is a check, and she ain’t worked in a month of sundays so…

15 08 2008
Esquire

, the ACTUAL hyena, Sheryl Underwood?

ugh.. I HATE HER.
Not only is she a Zeta, but she is a Republican AND she’s Coontastic. Why does she have to yell and carry her fucking purse around everywhere. She’s so stupid.

15 08 2008
Jen

Wendy’s has the worst fries. I’m not a big Fast Food connoisseur, but I think I remember liking Burger Kings’ fries. They have some kind of batter on them or something…

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

It’s not so much that adding black people makes the quality of the shows go down, its just that the quality of BET’s production sucks!! I mean, I’m not in the TV or movie industry, so I can’t really say what it is but – the film quality, the graphics, the overall production SUCKS!! It looks like something I put together in PowerPoint. You get what you pay for and apparently BET is trying to save on their salary costs.

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

For the most part BET shows that mock VH1 or MTV shows is because they are all owned by media giant flying devil…VIACOM!…However, why is it that BET shows seem so underfunded compared to VH1 and MTV if they have the same owner???!!! I meant you couldn’t pay me to live in the roach infested college hill house, but I’ll take a Real World house anyway in the world and know that it will be Dope!

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

ding ding ding – Tyrone Biggums!! Turkey Baconator to the lady in the blue!

15 08 2008
Esquire

Chick Fil A’s Fries kick all thier asses.

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

BK Fries = salty cardboard soaked in grease

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Jen – “I had never heard of Baldwin Hills, the tv show, until this moment. I googled and youtubed it, and I am sorry that I did.”

I would have warned you…I have nightmares about being forced to watch episodes in btwn. BET Blackbuster Film premieres like Nora’s Hair Salon 2. *wakes up drenched in sweat*

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Jen:

i believe that batter on BK’s fries is Boxer Batter…

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Yeah, I mentally blocked out Sheryl Underwood, aka, “Mrs Ed”.

Remember when that drag queen went on ComicView and called her Noxema Jackson. Sheryl went the fuck OFF. It was hilarious.

However, someone told me that when Sheryl Underood smiles, she thinks of Neopolitan Ice Cream. Wrong, just WRONG.

And everyone knows Checkers/Rally’s fries kick everyone’s asses.

15 08 2008
TheChad

Sheryl Underwood has the world’s largest mouthal area…

15 08 2008
Esquire

According to Sheryl’s website she hasnt been doing shit. Her last performance was in Spartanburg SC in 2007. So sad.

15 08 2008
Esquire

http://www.sherylunderwoodandfriends.com/

look you can book her! I may book her for the Chitlin Strut next year.

15 08 2008
Esquire

please please go to wikipedia and type in her name and look at that fucking pic. peace out yall. have a good weekend.

15 08 2008
Jen

Maybe it is Jack in the Box with the batter fries…

Again, not an expert.

15 08 2008
TheChad

She performed in Spartanburg but they heard her loud ass in Charleston…

whispering would definitely help her pockets…

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Sheryl Underwood has a radio show on Foxxhole Radio on Sirius Satellite Radio. And her loud ass busts my eardrums giving her commentary on Tom Joyner’s morning show.

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

I really don’t understand (and I’ve never watched) Baldwin Hills or The Hills. Are they reality or scripted?

15 08 2008
B4Prez

BK fries are great!

BET is known for being extremely cheap. Unlike MTV and VH1, everyone knows their ‘talent’ and staff get paid enough to still qualify for food stamps. True story.

Sheryl Underwood is as cooned-out as it gets, but she can be funny as hell. However, she did just lose 9.975 points for me finding out that her country bama azz is a damn Republican. SMH

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Sheryl Underwood is supposedly the new “international president” of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. (the Zetas, blue and white)…uh…not a good look sistagreeks:-(

15 08 2008
TheChad

Both are “reality” shows that follow the lives of rich black/white teens which appear to be, ironically, EXACTLY ALIKE…. which is another reason why i don’t get the hype behind Baldwin Hills after The Hills became big…

The shit sounds scripted though…

Hoes always got on make-up and there’s not nearly enough cursing.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Rev – “However, someone told me that when Sheryl Underood smiles, she thinks of Neopolitan Ice Cream.”

Ain’t no good gonna come to u, until u do right by Sheryl Underwoods grill game

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

I believe both Baldwin Hills and the Hills are scripted…although they claim to be reality…anyway, I think it’s funny that the two are “Black & White” versions of each other, moreso Baldwin Hills equates to Laguna Beach…Baldwin Hills talk about being the Black Beverly Hills-their neighborhoods look like Sherman and Capitol (Milwaukee) which is more like middle or lower-middle class areas…still like it tho! 🙂

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Baldwin Hills is upper middle class but it is right next to Crenshaw. I think Baldwin Hills/Ladera Heights/View Park/Windsor Hills put together is the largest concentration of black wealth in the country, though I think PG County in MD or Dekalb County in GA have higher black income overall.

If BET wanted to do a show on black wealth, they could’ve just as easily came down here to ATL and filmed in the Cascade area (Lithonia is nice, but still has some rough edges off Panola Rd) or go up to PG County, Murdaland. You have music stars, music execs, lawyers, politicians, etc. in ATL, and mainly lawyers and politicians up in DC.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Yea, Cascade in ATL is really nice. Being from NY, I had never seen anything like that with all black residents. I almost caught the spirit when I saw that.

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

“I’ve got no problem if I’m just not what black girls are looking for. I’m just sayin…”

this may seem a bit intrusive, but for the sake of troubleshooting, what kind of haircut are u rocking?! do you have a low cut ceasar with the deep waves, do you have that debarge thing going on, u rocking a fro, do you not have an edge up…?

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Yeah I agree, if they wanted a Black Hills, they should have went to ATL…YT tryna show “Even your richest negroes couldn’t afford a chamber pot in my gated community!! muhahahahwahahaha!!!”

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Why is that Black guys with Dreds always seem to only date White girls???

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

LMAO @ HC&V’s troubleshooting

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“this may seem a bit intrusive, but for the sake of troubleshooting, what kind of haircut are u rocking?! do you have a low cut ceasar with the deep waves, do you have that debarge thing going on, u rocking a fro, do you not have an edge up…?”

Kinda like this.

I also smell like soup.

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Well, the upcomng season of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” has a bunch of black stepford wives on there.

15 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Lawd, not a Neapolitan grill. Lawdamercy!

15 08 2008
tp2

I also smell like soup.

LMAOOOOOO…

like old ramen water or just campbells that’s been out too long?

15 08 2008

Nice FRESH haircuts are a PLUS!

15 08 2008

I just got a whif of split pea soup

15 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO @ Chris’ hair pic. I will cut mine like that for a baconator and a super-size fry.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Hehe, to address the question semi-seriously – those who have seen me in person can (hopefully) testify that I’m not a sloppy looking guy.

15 08 2008
tp2

B4Prez~where would you like your meal delivered?? lol…

15 08 2008

what kind of hair cut do you have?

15 08 2008

haircut**

15 08 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Good talk today folks. I have a 10 hour drive ahead of me, so ya’ll be easy.

*leaves work early to take a nap*

15 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Is anyone else creeped out that Chris is the Eternal Lurker of his own blog, reading our conversations, stroking his evil beard and grasping his glass of chardonnay as he waits for the perfect moment to comment and suddenly we are hit with a Green comment…Big Brother is watching…i think that demon baconator is wearing on my sanity…

Have a nice weekend guys…I’m off!

15 08 2008
Yonnie3k

I feel like I remember something about you smelling like a paper factory…am I making that up?

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Regular ass fade. Come on girl, you know I’m on your Facebook 😉

15 08 2008

oh yea. Forgive the female rain man. I haven’t had lunch yet.

15 08 2008
Uninspired Muse

“A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson.”

I call BULLSHIT, Chris.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I call BULLSHIT, Chris.”

As I said before, I have no reason to lie about this. My life would be infinitely easier if the simple approach worked.

Chicks just don’t wanna admit that they get in their own way.

15 08 2008

ok so what is the typical convo with a non-black woman?

What gives you the go ahead with either non-black or black girls?

15 08 2008
Jen

getting in our own way = maintain safety precautions

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

::blush::

i was totally dead ass when i posited the question, too. it’s a fucked up question that plays to alllllllllllll the sterotypes and issues associated with black hair— the texture, the cut, the style, the execution of said style– but it’s real. Just like a girl makes sure her shit is on point, a dude has to do the same.

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

The convo is similar regardless of race.

The criteria for go-ahead is simple: I find the girl attractive.

I don’t wait for her to bat her eyes, lick her lips, wink, flare her vagina (whatever that means), or anything else.

Fortune favors the bold.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

Chris:
“As I said before, I have no reason to lie about this. My life would be infinitely easier if the simple approach worked.
Chicks just don’t wanna admit that they get in their own way.”

Can the church say Amen! I think I feel the spirit movin’ me sum kinda way with today’s sermon!

@Ne – With non-black women, it usually starts with hello and a smile. That’s really all it takes.

15 08 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

whoa, whoa! a fade?! as in a temple fade or a blade (yes the vampire) fade?!

15 08 2008
Cheekie

“I don’t wait for her to bat her eyes, lick her lips, wink, flare her vagina (whatever that means), or anything else.”

Do you also wait for her to dip her vagina in a drank?

15 08 2008

Ok so I am so confused, because chris your success rate is lower with black women. What I really should have asked was this:

Were you interested in the black girl? Because she didn’t dance did you not ask for her number?

——–

“@Ne – With non-black women, it usually starts with hello and a smile. That’s really all it takes.”

Okkk so what happens next are the non black chicks more chipper…..? Does this hello and a smile not work with black chicks? What are the darkies doing?????????? what makes you walk away?

15 08 2008

flare her vagina????? akl;jwdlqueu808828-99-04=-3984803977790210

15 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“whoa, whoa! a fade?! as in a temple fade or a blade (yes the vampire) fade?!”

Friend me on Facebook and you can behold me in all my hideonic glory.

“Were you interested in the black girl? Because she didn’t dance did you not ask for her number?”

I was interested in Girl #2 (the hot one), not the girl I spent most of the time talking to. I didn’t ask for her number because she was exhibiting very defensive body language (folded arms, leaning away a bit, etc.) It was OK that she didn’t dance…though I didn’t believe it. Besides, if she really doesn’t dance, she’s probably a.) boring and b.) awful in bed. Who wants that?

“Okkk so what happens next are the non black chicks more chipper…”

Kinda, yes. Black women leave their guard up far longer than non-blacks (white girls in particular) even when they’re initially attracted to a guy. Non-black girls generally exhibit far more non-verbal signs of attraction and they do so far more quickly.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

@Ne – It’s just simple patience. If you see an attractive black woman and make eye contact with her, she can either acknowledge your eye contact, or give the ever popular glare of death. While these same options are available to woman of all races, the odds of receiving the glare are simply higher when dealing with black women.

All I can say as fact is that for every black girl who ignores eye contact/hello/smile, there are always 2 white girls acknowledging it, in my experience. That whole ‘edge’ thing we often discuss here, is, often times for good reason, more prevalent in black women. However, trying to make a brotha jump thru hoops b4 he even knows if he likes anything about u besides the physical, is not gonna cut it.

15 08 2008

I didn’t ask for her number because she was exhibiting very defensive body language (folded arms, leaning away a bit, etc.)
LMAO THIS ALMOST MADE ME SPIT OUT MY SAMMICH, because it’s so true

“Kinda, yes. Black women leave their guard up far longer than non-blacks (white girls in particular) even when they’re initially attracted to a guy. Non-black girls generally exhibit far more non-verbal signs of attraction and they do so far more quickly.”

OK got it. I have homework to do this weekend, research.
Your homework is getting a black girls number, if she does this body language thing kiss her cheek and say ” stooop all that foldy armcrap…YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME!” then make it rain monoply money and walk away.

15 08 2008
Jen

or c. SHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Girls who don’t dance in clubs sometime are just SHY.

DAMN it!!!!!!!

Also, non-Black girls exhibit all those non-verbal signs of attraction because they are irresponsible. You even wrote a post about this lack of responsibility. It was one of my favorites! How soon we forget.

15 08 2008
B4Prez

And to be clear, this is coming from a black man who doesn’t even get into the YT girls like that. I’d prefer a black woman all day, but I’d also prefer a woman who can ‘lighten up’ sometimes.

15 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Is what Chris saying so foreign to everybody? Am I the only black chick who feel like “Damn girls smile a little” when going out with her friends?

I mean them girls have some mean mugs… for no real reason. Me? I got my drink and my 2 step, my drink and my 2 step….

Did I just quote *outloud* a very stupid song *that I secretly like*? Damn, commercial radio! 🙂

15 08 2008

B4Prez,

Maybe that glare is the sexiest look she has. lol I dont know. I don’t do the glare.

You guys need seem like good guys. Instead of doing all of this work. You should let me find some GOOD black women for you. I am the hook up master. I have one couple married and a couple together 8 years.

Give me your list and I will get you guys your girls.

15 08 2008

ohhh MS. Sula I know what you are talking about.

Those chicks who look like someone just stole their damn bike. I have to agree it’s usually black chicks. But for every mean mug there is a smile.

I am spreading the word fellas to make it easier on you guys. One weekend at a time.

15 08 2008
Cheekie

Né – “You guys need seem like good guys. Instead of doing all of this work. You should let me find some GOOD black women for you. I am the hook up master. I have one couple married and a couple together 8 years.”

Girrrrrl, do you do the reverse? Like are the hook-up master for sistahs getting decent brothas? Because, damn, where they at?!

15 08 2008

need

15 08 2008

Well cheekie I have no more WORTHY male friends for hooking up, but I have a few girlfriends though. The rest of my single male friends are dogs!

15 08 2008
JG*

Went to lunch and never went back to work. LOL Just had to chime in and say that Baldwin Hills makes me wish I could erase BET off my TV so I never had to accidentally happen to catch it.

15 08 2008

I gotta updat charts ya’ll have a great weekend

15 08 2008
B4Prez

lol@ Ne. I’ll work on my list this wkend.

Last thing- I think a big part of the issue is ‘good’/’decent’ black women wanting to make sure they’re not seen in the same light as the loose, chicken heads in the club. However, you have to lighten up and realize that if you’re never open to anyone or anything, no one or nothing, good or bad, can ever get in. Don’t let urself turn into the bitter old aunt regurgitating to all of the young girls how ‘black men ain’t sht’.

I’m out…good weekend to all!

15 08 2008
Ms. Sula

Tax free weekend… Gotta go shopping!

To all, do get a lot of hangovers… Makes for interesting stories, and have a great weekend

🙂

15 08 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Ne…when you find them, let me know.

And I think I overestimated my guesstimate on how long this dude is going to last. SMH @ my love life.

Ah well. Back to working/studying/drinking.

16 08 2008
Muse

Gosh I missed a lot….

It feels good to be back in American.

Um I think Chris is full of it and I’m not talking about chicken heh ; )

16 08 2008
anjiebaby

As we wean ourselves off SBPH, I’ve discovered two other gems:

http://holdmypocket.wordpress.com/page/2/

http://abelleinbrooklyn.blogspot.com/

16 08 2008
Uninspired Muse

“Black women leave their guard up far longer than non-blacks (white girls in particular)”

Example: that post you had about running in the park, scaring some chick comes to mind.
They’re guard is down…because they have no guard?

🙂

16 08 2008
Siobhan

Jen – it’s not grimy, it’s realistic. A guy (unless he’s a celebrity) cannot walk up to a hot girl, introduce himself like a gentleman, be complimentary and polite, and expect to get anywhere with her. Ever. That’s just not how women work, and it took me a loooooong time to learn this lesson

@ Chris: WHAT!!!!!!!! As far as I know I, and the females around me except for the super g-fab ones, adore the type of man that will approach you as an adult should.

Any guy that gives me the “A-yo shorty” routine is IMMEDIATLY getting no where beyond club homie. Also, I really hate it when a man just grabs on you as you’re walking by…if I’m walking past you I must going somewhere right. Beside their are better ways to stop people. I just smile as I pull my hand/arm away so as to lessen the sting and NOT curse him out as some of my associates tend to.

The lesson you learned is a non-lesson. A man who comes with, “Hello my name is…” is much more welcome than say “Damn what yo name is shorty.” An extreme example but you get the point.

Guys do herds too by the way…I just walk in and go for the one I want. The worse they can do is say no in some rude way…at which point I’ll laugh and pat him on the head and walk. Hasn’t happened yet though. *Siobhan winks*

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

16 08 2008
aceklub

@ siobhan
“Guys do herds too by the way…I just walk in and go for the one I want. The worse they can do is say no in some rude way…at which point I’ll laugh and pat him on the head and walk.”

A big difference btw herds is that when there is a group of men and the female approach, the rest of the guys are not snickering like “who does this girl think she is” unlike how most girls do. If anything, the other guys are asking where her friends are at so they can holla at them.

16 08 2008
chaoticdiva

Insomnia.

But yes…this goes along with the topic of the other day (wildest places for sex):

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-30-places-to-have-sex-before-youre-30/

16 08 2008
Angry IV

Chris – your problem is that you were probably well-dressed, well-spoken, and at a more upscale location. Because of all of this, they made the assumption that you lacked the appropriate levels of hood or thug in your blood, and therefore will not be good for their street cred when they convene with their lesser-cultured more hoodrat-esque female friends. Also, when approached by other males that outwardly exhibit hood traits (and we know now that 98% of these guys are posers) they have to be able to mention how gangsta you are and feel good about it, despite the fact that they themselves know deep down inside that you are exactly what they are looking for in a husband and, one day, a father.

That is all.

16 08 2008
Siobhan

@ Aceklub

I cannot deny that they will ask for the hook up. You are correct my friend.

Oddly enough MY friends will do the same thing if the guy is cute…

The first statement out of their mouths will be…Point out your friends so we can tell you which one we want in exchange for {Insert Friend that he’s trying to speak to}’s number.

I have been known to then pull the guy away for an nice introduction to the aformentioned friend

We go to the club to have fun LOL.

I miss clubbing…3 MORE MONTHS UNTIL MY WELCOME HOME PARTY!!

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

16 08 2008
Angry IV

“A big difference btw herds is that when there is a group of men and the female approach, the rest of the guys are not snickering like “who does this girl think she is” unlike how most girls do. If anything, the other guys are asking where her friends are at so they can holla at them.”

In addition to this, if the girl is acceptable, the other guys will be encouraging their buddy to go ahead and dance with her, and not necessarily get her number. Women don’t understand that most guys spend the entire week at work and at home hanging out with a bunch of dick. It actually is possible that some of us just want to enjoy the company of women for an evening with NO POSSIBILITY OF EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITY!!

16 08 2008
Siobhan

@ Angry IV (4 what Hmm?)

Um…you seem a bit angry LOL.

Just kidding. It is entirely possible to just be friends or just hang out. I think ya’ll are lumping females into one group too easily. My friends (and I) will push our friends to go dance and hang out with other people.

It occurs to me that maybe Chris’ issues are because it’s DC?

I hang out in Philly and I won’t say we don’t have the same situations occur but a cute guy doesn’t generally get rejected over and over and over…unless it happens in the same night and he looks desperate LOL.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

16 08 2008
Bajan Girl

“It actually is possible that some of us just want to enjoy the company of women for an evening with NO POSSIBILITY OF EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITY!!”

^5 Angry…

cause some of us ladies want the same thing… to have a good time in the company of nice dudes….

now if the nice ladies and the nice dudes could just find each other… wouldn’t that be…nice…

oh well…

off to sail the seven seas (well only one really) for the week, sad that I am gonna miss a week of my new addiction (secretly praying and hoping there is some internet connection while at sea) …

have a good weekend and week everyone

🙂

16 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Oh Angry, you’re so….angry.

There is a misconception that all or most Black women are in search of thugs or men with “thug appeal”. A friend of mine complained once that he thought all college educated Black women were looking for “brolic thug doctors”. That made me laugh, but like Angry’ s comment it wasn’t quite close and there shant be a cigar.

There IS something, however, that many Black women are looking for in potential suitors (especially when they are meeting them in a club environment) and that is what is commonly referred to as swagger. I personally like to call it “the cool”.

You see, coolness is important to Negroes. We are the purveyors of cool. There is not as much pressure on Black women to have the cool, but there is far more pressure for us to be beautiful (something we have but so much control over), be in shape (we have lots of control over this, though it’s not easy for some) and to have big asses and attractive-if-not-large breasts (we can only control this with silicone. Gross).

Ebony last month did a tribute to the “25 Coolest Brothers Of All Time”. They were from varying time periods, some were conventionally handsome, others not so much. But they all have that Black man swagger. That natural ease and confidence.

Now, we know that Chris is a handsome fella, he’s tall and well put together. We also know that he has a very attractive personality which (to my constant surprise) makes women through their panties at him VIA THE INTERNET. However, when you make 45 seconds of conversation with someone in a club, you may not get to see the latter from jumpstreet.

My suspicion is that Chris doesn’t have much swagger. That is just a guess, but all signs point to this. You can be charming and funny without it, but ultimately, swagger is what most Black women seek. It’s that feeling that even though he is pushing up on you, you still feel like you have to work to be chosen….and you want to do just that.

Light skinned men have a natural disadvantage, because our community equates darker skin with authentic Blackness, and as swagger is associated with Blackness, light skin men are percieved to be corny by some. Light Black women have the same problem, but it manifests in different ways. I apologize for that. I always liked light skinned men, but a lot of sisters don’t. I’ve benefitted from their loss!

I’m not wholly defending the sisters, but I will say this-Chris, I know your ass is probably trying to get at the 2 or 3 “baddest” chicks in the club. The same girls who every other man is gonna try to holler at. Now, you can step it up and try re-hone your macking skills, or you can perhaps looks at some of the other girls who are pretty, but may get passed over when the pre-crazy Lauryn Hill look alike enters the room.

It’s fucked up, but most people are frightened by what they need and controlled by what they want. I’m sure I’d be frustrated if I were Chris, knowing that I am a good man and that sisters are constantly bemoaning the lack of good men, yet sleeping on one. But just remember that people see the packaging before they see the package. Think of it like a pretty, rather fit girl in an empire waisted top. She seems good, but you can’t get past what may or may not be under that extra fabric to actually see what is before you.

Or, maybe he just had on a tight ass shirt.

16 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ ST!!!

And yes, we all love swagger.

Also, I have learned a lesson from the other night: NEVER EVER flirt with a guy sagging skinny jeans and rocking dunks tinged with hot pink.

…I blame it on the rum. I may not have felt drunk, but it sure did impair my judgment. I also cursed out my friend for pushing the introduction (as to hook me up with a “good” guy….this “nig nog” turned out to be a freaking pothead!)

SMH @ my love life. I officially give up as of today.

16 08 2008
Siobhan

@ Sister

Damn, I think that’s exactly what it is.

Swagger…or in my case a man who won’t get knocked down or cowed (I’m so over submissive guys).

I don’t date the thug types, I just want to buy them belts and shirts that fit, but I do look for a certain something (if I could remember how to spell it in french I would throw that out there and look fly LOL), a certain twinkle in the eye I suppose you could say.

Swagger…it’s kind of like how we treat the street like a runway LOL.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

16 08 2008
Jen

Ladies do love the swag.

But swagger won’t hold more than a superficial convo or keep a man faithful or pay bills, so it gets no extra points with me.

16 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Of course Jen. We have already established that the women of SBPH are far superior to all others everywhere. But I would bet my bottom dollar that when it comes to these stories Chris (and other “good Black men” we know) have recounted about bein dissed by sisters, swagger has been a factor. Chris can jump up and down all day about his love for natural hair, but that doesn’t refute the fact that there is a large section of the Black male populus that feels just the opposite.

Hell, if I think a man is cute, I don’t care if he hops over on a pogo stick. But that’s just me.

16 08 2008
Angry IV

So the opposite of having “swagger” is being submissive? I guess I was spot on in my analysis then. Aggressive, thug-types are those that win out over the intellectuals?

I think you got me all confused, though. I never said that submissive guys should be selected over guys with confidence. However, it seems as if 9 times out of 10 if there’s two guys with confidence and one is clean-cut and speaks proper English, and the other guy has the media/pop culture appeal, the clean-cut guy loses out simply because he doesn’t look like what we see in TV and magazines.

If I’m wrong, please correct me, but understand I’m not criticizing YOU ladies, I’m criticizing the masses. We all know what all you ladies look for in a man (see: Chris Newman) 🙂

16 08 2008
Jen

Angry, I am not sure what swagger is. I don’t think that aggression and thuggishness = swagger, though. Sometimes, swag is about being aloof, sometimes it is about being assertive, but it is always about “looking good” doing whatever it is you’re doing. A Barack Obama or Quincy Jones clearly has swagger–whatever it is–but neither are aggressive thugs.

I will add that I think swag is in the eye of the beholder, to some extent. If you “look good” doing something, the art of what you are doing has to be something perceptible to the folks watching you do what you do. If you are around a bunch of hoodrats who think that “looking good” sometimes involves gold teeth and impossibly-sized pants, then you could be the true-life incarnation of that fine ass doctor from SATC who fucked homely ass Miranda, and your swag would proooobbbably be imperceptible.

Most of the time, when I hear girls talking about how swaggerific somebody or the other is, the object of admiration just seems smooth and cocky to me. That sort of attitude makes me very wary and suspicious of people because it seems contrived. But, I’m 100% nerd (as multiple girlfriends have told me, ‘the biggest nerd they know’), so unless we’re talking jazz pianists, traditional smoothness just don’t do it for me. Furthermore, I don’t give a shit about pop culture, so why would I look for a man who is the incarnation of it? For me, quirks are what make a man cute and make a man relateable. The swag most perceptible to me (as a nerd) is different from the swagger that attracts most ladies.

From that perspective, maybe girls really do like assholes. (ASSHOLE =/= THUG) Sometimes, I think they do. But, I think guys like bitches, too. And why not? Assholes and bitches are made for each other, really.

16 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Where did I describe a submissive man? I didn’t say anything about pop-culture appeal? I pretty much said that Black women are attracted to smooth men. I’m sure some sisters would choose a cornball in “urban wear” over a good dude in a button up, but I don’t think that applies to what Chris described nor my analysis. I can’t imagine Chris telling this story about women who want a man who doesn’t speak proper English.

Who’s to say this women were different from the commenters? The women on this blog know Chris’s personality, those chicks didn’t get a chance to see that. In fact, I completely refuted the notion that it was “thuggery” that Black women are most attracted to.

I just feel like you are so married to what you have decided is what that you can’t hear what I’m saying. I am a Black woman giving you some insight as to what Black women are looking for. It’s not rocket science, love. Even if the SBPH women represent some superior or simply different segement of the Black female population, that doesn’t mean that the masses of Black women want a thug. I also criticized these ladies for being controlled by what they want (a superconfident sexy charmer) and frightened by what they need (a good man). But it’s NOT always a matter of “looking like the men on TV” or being inarticulate. What kind of bird wants a man who can’t talk? (But we don’t want Carlton Banks either.)

16 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Note- I didn’t say anything about what I like. This is simply what I have observed from many of my sistern. I don’t know what I like until I see it. Sometimes it’s swaggerriffic, sometimes it’s corny. It’s always tall and usually cute.

16 08 2008
Angry IV

You didn’t describe a submissive man – Siobhan said something about submissive and getting knocked over…not sure where it came from.

Again, I think you gals are taking what I said way too close to heart – I understand you all are a lot different from “the masses” to which my disdain was directed.

Unfortunately, unless we’re now living in some sort of world where there’s tons of decent people everywhere, I haven’t seen (in my travels, at least) any more than was appears to be two categories – good men, and the rest. The rest tend to all follow the same trends. I guess what I’m getting at is that I wish my fellow menfolk would step their mother f***ing game up and stop being so concerned with trying to look or appear a certain way. I think Jen hits it on the head.

And again, I was never trying to refute your analysis, just providing my own. But that’s why we call it opinion, right? Everyone has one.

16 08 2008
Angry IV

“I am a Black woman giving you some insight as to what Black women are looking for.”

Seeing as how I’m spoken for in the nearly married sense, I really don’t give a damn what “Black women” are looking for…but at the same time, how can you apply your opinion to the entire population?

Again, all opinions. We could spend all day going back and forth and we’d both be completely wrong in the next person’s eyes.

16 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Oh well. White (and, most recently, Nepali) girls, here I come 😛

16 08 2008
ayo

Chris…. sigh.

16 08 2008
The Doc Is In

stuffblackpeoplehate: Oh well. White (and, most recently, Nepali) girls, here I come 😛

Aaaannnd, why do I get the sense that (conscious or not) that decision was probably already made a WHILE ago…*shrug*

ST – Co-sign on everything you said about the swagger…except the Carlton part. Dammit, *I* actually did have a crush on him. But I have douchebag tendencies.

17 08 2008
Knatural

White and Nepali? *shakes head*

17 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Aaaannnd, why do I get the sense that (conscious or not) that decision was probably already made a WHILE ago…*shrug*”

Because female intuition is as much a myth as black wang being enormous by default 😉

17 08 2008
defiant

Sorry but this whole swagger stuff is bullshit. If you want to use a beter adjective like confidence then fine. But from reading this blog, and the comments made by Chris I don’t think he has an issue with confidence. Black woman do have an ideal of what they want as does eveyone it’s just important not to have too mucg of a closed ideal. In the end men everywhere and Chris can only be themselves if ladies want a TI wanna be then more power to them.

17 08 2008
Siobhan

@ Chris…ROFLMAO! “As much a myth as black wang being enormous by default”

@ Angry

“Aggressive, thug-types are those that win out over the intellectuals?”

Why oh why LOL…a man with “swagger” or “cool” does not (at least for me) fall into the thug category. Thugs are NOT cute. They are amusing to laugh at and wonder how long until their pants fall but beyond that no thanks.

I cannot imagine anyone EVER describing a “thug” as having that certain something (a twinkle in the eye I believe I said) or je ne sais quoi (if misspelled oh well I’m at work).

The non-intellectual “thug” would ask you if you just disrespected him while the intellectual man would say thank you.

Um…wow this topic got out hand.

I clearly stated I do not like “thug” types…I don’t understand why anyone would want someone extorting a lifestyle where one is in physical danger or damaging their community for NO REASON

I like men with clearly defined personalities who will not be walked on like doormat…which is a submissive man.

Swagger is NOT and I repeat NOT a thug. Self-confidence is an excellent term to replace swagger.

I have five requirements I like to see in a man. *Siobhan sighs* (Maturity, Ambition, Height, Attractiveness, and Sensuality; Attractiveness does not mean looks and height is variable)

In no way, shape, or fashion does being a thug or being unable to put together a complete sentence fall into any category. I also cannot abide assholes…they just makes my inner-jerk become my default personality.

@ Chris

If I wasn’t in Afghanistan I would be at the club you attend next weekend so I can personally witness this phenomenon instead of guessing about it online

Anywho…I think I’ve lost my focus and have digressed from the topic…which was something along the lines of why Chris gets rejected.

I’m going to stick with I don’t know why…but keep trying!

GANBETTE!

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Siobhan

The key word in that rant above was “I”

I really cannot speak for anyone beyond myself and possibly my (very) small circle of friends on what attracts us to a man.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Muse

All this talk about swagger is very amusing. Personally I just want a decent guy who is smart, funny, and caring. So far I’ve been lucky when it comes attracting quality guys especially living in Los Angeles where a lot of people are superficial. The reason my relationships didn’t work out either had to do with timing or we simply weren’t meant to be significant others.

Doc and ST, my theory about SBPH’s little dating dilemma when it comes to Black women is that perhaps he isn’t getting attention from the women he wants. So basically all the girls on the net or in real life who have crushes on SBPH are irrelevant since he may not be interested in them. Therefore if the women he’s attracted to aren’t paying him any mind then from his perspective it may appear that Black women aren’t interested in him at all. I hope that makes sense. For example if someone is offering you all the carrot cake in the world but you want chocolate cake, it really won’t matter that carrot cake is available because that isn’t what you want.

Then again maybe it’s an excuse to date White and “Others” without looking like a complete sell-out asshole. The excuse could be “well I tried to date Black girls but they gave me no love etc. so let me get what I can get sort of mentality. It’s just a theory if mine and I don’t pretend to know the workings of the male brain.

Angry: Sometimes I wonder what kind of low life bottom females you’ve been around because some of your comments about Black women and our wants/needs are simple outrageous. I have tons of Black girlfriends from every cultural background and socio-economic level and none of them go for the thugs or the Black dudes with a prison record nor are any of them “hood rats.”

Birds of a feather flock together so if all your boyfriends/girlfriends are loser trash then perhaps you should take a look at yourself. The only common dominator is you. I was telling another female tonight that if you keep attracting these bottom barrel loser guys then it’s time to look at yourself and see what’s up and why you keep attracting garbage.

Once again….a club isn’t the ideal place to meet someone. People are drunk, its dark, and music is too loud to carry on a decent conversation.

17 08 2008
Muse

Jesus loser guys and arrogant fuck-tard females are ruining it for everyone. What’s wrong with buying a drink for the woman you are interested? God some of you men are so lame; no wonder decent women don’t give some of you men the time of day. Chivalry really is dead isn’t it? In my opinion if a guy is carrying on a good conversation with a lady he should OFFER to buy her a drink. It’s what gentlemen do. Hell I’ll be honest I would never ask a guy to buy me a drink but if I’m carrying on a conversation with him and he doesn’t at least offer to buy me a drink he loses major cool points.

17 08 2008
Siobhan

@ Mush

LOL ROFLMAOL!!!

I stand aside. Preach on!

Chivalry is in fact…on life support. I know a few men who keep the system alive. I tease them about it but there is no shame in being an ultimate gentleman.

I don’t drink…but I buy drinks for folks so if someone offers a pineapple juice or water I’m more than happy to accept since the next drink will be on me.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Siobhan

Sorry… @ MUSE!

How could I abuse such a lovely handle in that way?

Mea Culpa

Mea MAXIMA Culpa…

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Muse

LMAO @ Mush…

I feel like mush. My body is still on Cairo and London time so my sleeping schedule is off by 8-10hrs. I didn’t wake up until 5pm this afternoon. Blah.

Sadly chivalry is dying. All these bitch ass boys running around wanting to be treated like “men” but don’t know how to act the part. A lot of guys don’t want to open doors, walk on the part of the sidewalk where the cars are, or pay for dinner even if they ask the girl out on a date. These boys have a timeframe of when they want to fuck and if the girl doesn’t give in, she’s dismissed because they assume that she isn’t interested or too rigid. If a woman has traditional expectations or standards, she’s being too hard or uncompromising. Low class dirty females make it hard for the decent ones and the lame guys end up validating these stupid females because of their looks.

Then there are the damaged needy females who irritate the fuck out of me. Instead of getting some damn therapy for their issues, they go from man to man trying to validate miserable existence. People in general have accepted low standards and expectations for their partners which has become the norm for society. Folks have adapted superficial reasons for wanting to be with someone. It isn’t about one’s character, their spirit, or personality these days. It’s all about looks, hair, money, dick, cars, and other bullshit that doesn’t matter at the end of the day. That’s why the divorce rate is over 60% percent because people marry their partners for bullshit reasons.

And no I’m not bitter, I’m just keeping it real…

: )

17 08 2008
Jen

Divorce rate is so high because of repercussions of second-wave feminism:

*demise of chivalry
*devaluation of women and children
*devaluation of men
*later onset of marriage
*blurring of boundaries rooted in the concept of mutual respect
*modern sexual/lifestyle norms which encourage “baggage”
*false competition within male/female relationships and its repercussions (distrust, withdrawal, paranoia)

Also, I just wanted to point out that while the women on the board may have common factors about them because they are all attracted to a certain type of humor (which requires a certain degree of intelligence and, to some extent, acceptance of self-deprecation), I don’t think those qualities would have much of an impact on how we, as opposed to other women who frequent the same venues as Chris, might respond to his initial approach.

I think WE think he’s such a great guy because he has had the opportunity to show himself to be a witty and intelligent guy in a way that is impossible to do at a nightclub. Some of you might have thrown back the drink you just bought yourself and headed to the dance floor after the exchange described above, but I am willing to bet that a great number would have also stared at the floor giggling about how you don’t really dance and then humped your girlfriends on the dance floor ten minutes later when your “song” came on. You ain’t got to lie to kick it. I KNOW Black women do this shit. I see us do this shit. I do this shit.

17 08 2008
klysha

@ ST I was just talking to some guy friends of mine about the concept of swagger. They were trying to figure out why I didn’t want to holler at this cornball guy I work with (other than the fact that I work with him and I decided that workplace dating is a no no). They just couldn’t figure out why I wouldn’t be attracted to a guy who I swear makes Carlton from the Fresh Prince look like *insert your personal example of black male sex god*. The guy gets his kicks by getting into arguments over semantics with people and humming show tunes. I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not. When he wants to look cool he throws on a hat that looks like this http://www.villagehatshop.com/media/thumbsup.php?image=jaxon_cotton-safari_lrg.jpg&width=375

Clearly he has 0 swagger….

17 08 2008
Siobhan

LMAO @ Muse and Jen

All valid points…

Chris date a woman who throws you her panties on the blog…see how that works out since she will have already been exposed to your personality. Then tell all on the blog LOL…

You’ve already given up though so I guess that experiment…I mean option is out.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Bassey

I hate all of you.

I went out last night with a friend of mine to her friend’s birthday party. There were like 30 women dancing in their VIP section and the whole night, I’m having flashbacks to this blog. “are you smiling, bass? Dont’ cross your arms. Go dance but not with all the women. Just one. Go sit at the bar by yourself. Are you smiling???” Nevermind, that I wasn’t there to meet anyone. Never mind that it was someone else’s party. Part of me wanted to test out all the theories thrown around here but the same reason why I’m not a research scientist showed up and I ended up sitting at the bar talking to the black guys who only date white girls giving them pointers as to why they should maybe not pour a drink on the blonde one to get her attention.

Also, Chris, I swore I saw you last night in Georgetown. I won’t say what I saw, but I thought it was you.

17 08 2008
Bassey

Also, my default setting is “smiling” so I never have an issue with that or looking stand offish. But I sometimes look TOOO friendly so the one guy who is scared to talk to anyone usually finds me and then tries to murder me with his lame conversation. And I’m as geeky and nerdy as the next dude, but dont’ ask me what I do for a living and then proceed to tell me how you do it better but decided to pursue a career in attacking innocent women at lounges with your lame conversation instead. I’m not sure if that was falling into the “insult her and that will make her like you” genre that I see on TV but it must stop. It is stupid.

17 08 2008
defiant

Seems to me there is a ton of anomosity in the black comminity regarding this subject, I’m not an idiot an I understand why. Many black guys excusively date white females, which really in the end is cutting themselves short to all the flavors of the world. That being said reading some of the stuff from above, one thing really pisses me off about black culture, there is this ideal of blackness. I really do feel that us blacks, male or female have a shit load of pressure on us to meet these special requirements of the black race in order to be “black” and not “white washed” which is probably the worst thing to be accused of being in the black community. This pressure to meet these stereotypes, and yes they are stereotypes is often a turn off, and often something that Chris and yes myself seem to experience from some black woman. The above talk of “swagger” as being a criteria to date black woman is a prime example and an extreme piss off. The thing that makes us black is our skin the rest of the bullshit is learned through cultural influence, or forced on us by popular media. If you can find someone that loves you for you whether black, white, yellow, red, brown or whatever then hop on it. But limiting yourself to one any one race or saying all black women are such and such a way is total bullshit.

17 08 2008
The Doc Is In

SBPH- true I could be wrong since I don’t know you, but this is more than “female intuition” it’s human observation. Complaining about/discussing a thing for constructive purposes is different than listing “reasons” to justify why you prefer the alternative. There’s a very thin line between all these posts actually being “Get Right Advice for the Sistas” vs. lists of “This is WHY I’m done with y’all”. Black socializing and dating and mating experiences will tend to be different than white ones…if you’ve decided you think one is *better* than the other, more power to you. But I don’t necessarily think “approachability” is the end all and be all. Don’t get me wrong, I have no time for games, but I do acknowledge that the best things aren’t always going to walk up to you, stare you in the face and breathe right down your throat, and that applies to all aspects of life. So to that extent I do think part of the issue also incorporates what Muse said, frustration about not getting what you want, when you want it. And once you’ve started to subscribe to the EXTERNAL “reasons” you’ve created for why you’re not being satisfied, it probably starts to color and influence all your subsequent interactions with black women, that’s just human nature.

Further, to assign experiences at the club (of all places) as rationale for this discontent is baffling to me. The club experience is a world of its own, I would never judge all of maledom from what goes there. I KNOW that people tend to go there with their guard up, or to show off, or to just get shitfaced with their friends…it is what it is. This isn’t to say I’m not open to meeting guys there (I have actually dated a gem or two I scrounged up there), but I would focus my attention on meeting people in other venues like the gym, sporting and cultural events, community service, or professional mixers (even though the latter two are usually 10:1 of fabulous black WOMEN to men…now why is that??). In those venues you get more of an opportunity to “see what a person is about” before opening yourself up to dating them.

17 08 2008
The Doc Is In

*Sigh* You men are COMPLETELY MISSING the point about Swagger, it has ABSOLUTE ZERO to do with thug appeal or even “blackness”. Stop acting fucking brand new, y’all know y’all see the exact same thing in women even if you don’t call it “swagger”…it allows those of use who aren’t “ridiculously hot” to still command a room when we walk into it. It’s part confidence…but not the confidence/cockiness in attracting others, but how you feel about yourself. It’s part openness to experience and an understanding of how multifaceted people are…you don’t step up to another person bogged down in preconceived notions (because if you approach a woman while thinking in the back of your mind “she’s probably going to turn me down like all the other mean black women”…it shows, even if you don’t realize it). It’s the sense that the person doesn’t have an agenda, they are just happy being in their skin and you enjoy being in their presence because even if they’re discussing the life cycle of malarial plasmodium, they’re doing it with passion and a twinkle in their eye and you can’t help but smile. And of course, like porn, it’s just part “you know it when you see it”.

17 08 2008
Quirky Cutie

The Doc is In – Agreed…and maybe the white girls at the club are so easy-going b/c they’re trying to prove/disprove the black wang theory?

My opinion: I think Chris stopped dating black chicks in 2001, but can’t admit it because a blog called Stuff Black People Hate has more street cred than one called Stuff Black Men who Only Date White and Asian Chicks Hate 😉

17 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Muse: “Chivalry really is dead isn’t it? In my opinion if a guy is carrying on a good conversation with a lady he should OFFER to buy her a drink. It’s what gentlemen do. Hell I’ll be honest I would never ask a guy to buy me a drink but if I’m carrying on a conversation with him and he doesn’t at least offer to buy me a drink he loses major cool points.

Muse, how did I miss this? Please let the choir say “A-WOMEN!” Key part definitely being AFTER conversation/dancing/whatever prolonged interaction has been going on (nobody’s trying to be a “Shawty can I buy you a drank” Ho). If I sweat my hair out on the dance floor with a guy it would be nice for him to acknowledge that I might possibly be a teensy bit thirsty now.

17 08 2008
SsterTo ldja

Muse- You are so smart. I know I have been guilty of “since these few Black men who I desire aren’t interested in me, Black men hate me”, with no regards to the scores of brothers who do approach me.

I do honestly think (and pardon me, my friend, for attempting to get all up in your head) that Chris wants very much to date Black women. While he’s obvs more openminded when it comes to dating, I also believe that his logical mind has him considering the path of least resistance. I think this is why a lot of brothers leave sisters alone in the first place: the percieved ease of operation with other women. However, as taking the easy way out often does, it comes with a price: less attracitve women, who may smell like wet dog and bologna, limp gross hair, lack of understanding your unique cultural perspective, etc.

I also think that brothers can be guility of going for the same woman who every man wants and getting mad when she rejects them. She’s the most gorgeous woman in the room….are you the most gorgeous man? If looks shouldn’t matter to her, why do they matter so much t o you? Or maybe she has a man already?

I’m not gonna beg Black men to stay home, I just tell them “I love you, call me the moment you get there” and hope they come to their senses. But I will say this, I also think Chris or any brother or sister who is not getting what they deem to be appropriate responses to their macking approaches should go back to the drawing table and reevaluate some things from within! It pains me to do it myself at times, because I know I am fabulous and charming, BUT the only common denominator in my failed romantic attempts has been me.

17 08 2008
rai

“who may smell like wet dog and bologna, limp gross hair” lol!!!!!! that is racism.

17 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Angry- I would tell you that since you are not looking for a woman currently, the least you could do is sit your ass down reinforcing all those stereotypes and half-truths about Black women when it isn’t your “concern” anymore. But for fear that your pent up hatred of Black women could one day damage what you have at home, I encourage you to vent with us so that your girl doesn’t have to suffer. We’ll continue to check you accordingly.

Bassey- Am I reading this correctly? You GAVE Black men tips on how to holler at White girls? Surely, you gave bad advice on purpose, right????? Otherwise, I have to revoke your Black woman card. Don’t be mad, Mexico is hiring. And what advice did they need: be Black, show up= the end.

17 08 2008
Sister Toldja

rai- Welcome to reality, sometimes it’s hard.

I forgot to include sour milk. I smell that on the train all the time. I think they actually think cow’s milk is a drink, not an accesory for cereal or cookies.

17 08 2008
rai

Lol I totally laughed because I mean well. . . it’s kinda true. I don’t want us to look like the “angry black woman that is ‘hatin’ on white women because they are ‘stealing’ all of our delicious black men”. . . I mean I was work, the white girl wasn’t. . . that’s all it really was. When he is ready to be married and have the kids he actually plans to take care of, he will be back . . . to ME at least, can’t speak for any other female. lol I’ve heard black guys that specifically date white women actually say that they are useless, pretty much good for giving head and borrowing money. lol I am not losing out in the least bit. Maybe I am bias because of the college I went to, which could also explain some of Chris’ bias. . . but nonetheless i have NEVER met the black guy that is actively pursuing a white female to have a long term relationship, marriage, etc with. I mean NO GUY WITH ANY SENSE is going to tell random white chick that she is plan B. . . “Sarah I’m only with you because you gave me a ride home from the club that first night I met you, you suck my dick on demand, and you don’t pay attention to the most BLATANT of signs that I am cheating”. . . they are gonna tell random white chick, that he “loves her because she is thick, caring, and not as mean or overbearing or demanding as black women”. . . I mean tell them what they want to hear to get what you want is what I always say. . .

17 08 2008
Angry IV

I, for one, like how the majority of the women here act like they’re the ultimate prize, and thus nothing is wrong with them and therefore everything is wrong with men.

But it’s the intarwebz. I’m not trippin’.

17 08 2008
rai

lol oh goodness @ angry. . .

17 08 2008
aceklub

I have come to my conclusion that folks have their personal preference and that each gender as a whole, has certain things that they are looking for. Both parties are guilty b/c while we men get blamed for chasing the European featured females, females has stated that there is a certain level of swagger/confidence that they prefer that renders those w/o swagger to suffer. So, for females to try to knock men b/c of what they prefer is weak b/c many men could make the same argument.

At the end of the day, men and women ain’t shyt but we all know that we can’t live w/o each other. Well, at least I know I can’t

17 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Bassey

Yes, I was in Georgetown last night.

17 08 2008
defiant

@aceklub
Fuck finally someone with some fucking brain cells up in here. We need to look at things on an individual level. There is no one answer different people look for different things some like big butts others don’t, and these likes and dislikes can not be segmented by race at all. Get over it people, if you’re a person that likes to fuck only midgets then people should well enough leave you the fuck alone, and you as a person should go out and fuck as much midget ass as you want guilt fucking free.

17 08 2008
Siobhan

Um…Angry is REALLY angry.

I didn’t realize we (yes, the collective we) were portraying ourselves as perfect and without a flaw.

Hmm, when I think about a flaw, aside from my belief that EVERYONE can/will sell you out, I’ll post it so you feel better.

Relax, opinions are like certain body parts…everybody has one.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
rai

@ace. . . not saying I am awesome nor am I asking for awesome. . . because Im not perfect, I don’t expect someone perfect. . . I just expect to be matched is all. I know for a fact if I run into the “perfect man” right now, he would be too good for me. So I just save myself that heartbreak. lol

17 08 2008
hipployta

Perfect man…no thank you.

Now perfect man for me is an entirely different story.

I don’t think anyone said it was wrong to date who you want…

Although it’s implied subtly that the abandoning of an entire group of females may be suspect if it’s based off an experience, albeit a repeated one, in the club.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

17 08 2008
Bassey

@ST- I wasn’t giving them tips on how to talk to white women specifically. It was just funny to me because these dudes were breaking necks trying to talk to these white girls. And one of them actually said, ‘okay, I’ll go over there and ‘accidentally” spill my drink…” And I’m sorry. I’m a black woman but I’m a woman so I said, ‘You probably don’t need to go through all that. ”
If “spilling a drink” is how they get someone’s attention, i’m not directing them to my beautiful, sane and dry friends minding their own business.

and Chris/SBPH- ha! I KNEW that was you. Interesting. *raises eyebrow* and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

17 08 2008
Tea

aceklub, stop it. You can’t compare a preference for European features to wanting a man with confidence. Being attracted to confidence is human nature.

17 08 2008
Angry IV

@Siobhan – I’ve been saying everyone has their own opinion for post upon post now 🙂 You just happened to read another one of mine.

And I’ve said it before – I’m spoken for, and I’m not mad at all.

17 08 2008
aceklub

I think I may have mentioned this before but I think a problem that causes this challenge in relationship is that females place more of a priority in finding someone of the same race. Not saying that it is the #1 requirement but I do think on average females have that higher up the totem pole than men. And of course, there are exceptions as there are PLENTY of GUYS (like myself) that rank dating/marrying a Black Woman as VERY IMPORTANT. Now, I am not sure what the reason is but IMO, I think it relates to those ideals are pushed on females more than males. I think young girls hear more stories and place a greater priority on creating the Black Family, which is important and necessary. Young men are pushed into thinking,”find the Flyest Lady according to your criteria.” Of course, the media fuels this with the music video models that reinforce those images of what men should consider as ideal.

I think if we were to do a survey and ask guys and girls (not just this SBPH community) to rank each characteristic that they hold as THEIR IDEAL requirements, I think we will see that difference between men and women.

17 08 2008
Jen

At this point, I think it would be appropriate to imagine my cosigning ass jumping up and down screaming “TELL THE TRUTH AND MAKE IT PLAIN” at everything the Doc has to say from now on.

I think that before Chris writes off Black women, he should pick a profession, google their Black professional and/or students organization and plan a weekend visit to whatever city they are holding their next national convention. (Clearly, he doesn’t want to date Claire Huxtable, so I won’t be offended if he doesn’t pick the NBA/NBLSA.) Hell, if he doesn’t want to travel, somebody has to be holding a regional or national convention or conference in the DC area this or any year. It IS a chocolate city. Orgs try to get there and Atlanta whenever they can.

Sir, I hope you take advantage of that good 10:1 woman to man ration the Doc is talking about. You’d have enough contacts after one evening to open a dating service.

17 08 2008
rai

lol, well, I’d hate to blame the white man again. . . lol BUT the ideal female is light and the ideal male is dark. . . I think that helps to explain why many black men willingly, some more eagerly than others, “cross over” (lol) & black women tend not to. My only issue is all of this fuss leaves black men thinking they are a prize in and of itself, just for being born black. . .like I as a black female, I have to “prove” myself worthy meanwhile, u sitting on my couch eating all my doritos, because being a black man is enough for you to bring to the table. lol I have never been in a relationship with a guy outside of my race, but there are SEVERAL white boys @ maryland that I want to sexually assault. . .

sidenote, how do ALL of the posts end up here??!?!?!?! lol

17 08 2008
aceklub

@ tea
but at the same time, we all know that men are more attracted to what they see and that men’s desire for physical beauty ranks just as high as female rank the desire for men with confidence

At the end of the day, beauty and confidence is in the eye of the beholder.

17 08 2008
Tea

Well, I’m going to to co-sign what Doc, Muse and ST had to say. Well said ladies!

17 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“and Chris/SBPH- ha! I KNEW that was you. Interesting. *raises eyebrow* and that’s all I’m going to say about that.”

Yes, she was tall and bore an eerie resemblance to Katherine Hepburn. Don’t you judge me 🙂

17 08 2008
Tea

I can’t knock a man for wanting a beautiful woman, the same way
I don’t think that you can knock a woman that wants a man with confidence, they are both human nature. But I can knock a dude that bases his ideal of what is beautiful based on the European ideal.

17 08 2008
Bassey

No worries, Chris. I saw you at the end of the night. So I’m not saying ONE word. Nope. Not one single word.

I will say, however, that you’re definitely the stand out in your group. And… maybe you should reconsider… um…

Nope. Won’t say it ;).

LOL.

17 08 2008
Jen

Why are Black women so much more disposable to Black men than Black men are to Black women?

Thanks to this and related convos had in real life this week, I’ll be going on two dates with nonblack men this week. Maybe what’s good for the gander is good for the goose.

17 08 2008
rai

hopefully so @ jen. . . and if he is decent, send a cousin or his little brother this way.

17 08 2008
defiant

Wow this place has really turned sour… it’s touchy subject no doubt. Jen I would encourage you or anyone else to date who ever makes you feel good. I think if you’re black and say that you’ll only date blacks in this time and age it’s a sign of a close minded person. In science race doesn’t even exsist, it’s a social construct which means it’s made up. Just like so many of the other bullshit made up things that end up causing our society trouble ie. religion and money. We need to get past the bullshit on all sides and treat each other like people first.

17 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I will say, however, that you’re definitely the stand out in your group. And… maybe you should reconsider… um…”

Group? Nah, you didn’t see me then. I was with a girl, and had left G-Town by about 10pm or so.

17 08 2008
Jen

@ defiant – Religion, race, money and culture may be social constructs, but they are not bullshit. You live in society, not “science”.

Frankly, I’d rather be dating Black men. However, at this point, I believe Black women are collectively waiting on Black men, and Black men are not coming.

17 08 2008
SCGirl4Life

I am usually comfortable in my role as a passive lurker but I have to say something. A person wanting to date someone of their own race is not closeminded. I think wanting to date someone of your own race is natural. I am wary of anyone that exclusively dates any race that is not their own (eg. white guys only dating black/asian /hispanic women and NO white women). That is weird as hell to me. The whole social construct argument is great but means jack to me because a bigot is not going to think “well scientifically we’re all alike so I won’t call her a n—– now”. That is some “we are the world” mess that I don’t subscribe to.

I didn’t get offended by the comments Chris made about approachability. I date whomever I want. You can say I taste the rainbow. I think people are taking it as an affront to them personally. I have friends that don’t date interracially and I don’t try to convince them to taste the rainbow and they won’t try to convince me that I am wrong, but it is hard hear them go on and on about they aren’t going out or how they can’ t meet any black men. I do think it means that you are limiting your pool but as long as you go into that with eyes wide open then it shouldn’t be a problem.

I am from SC so interracial dating (esp black women and non-black men) is not as prevalent, but when my own mother told me that I shouldn’t be waiting on some black cinderella fairy tale b.s. I was SHOCKED. My Mom is a hardcore pro-black, traditional Southern woman. When she said that, I was speechless but I understood.

17 08 2008
Muse

Angry IV (17:29:52) :

I, for one, like how the majority of the women here act like they’re the ultimate prize, and thus nothing is wrong with them and therefore everything is wrong with men.

But it’s the intarwebz. I’m not trippin’.
*********************************************************************************

WOW Angry, where did anyone say that they are the ultimate prize? I do believe there are some quality females on here who do have some thoughtful responses to the blog. Although I don’t know everyone here, the women I had the opprountity to meet and build friendships with are very much on point and ahead of the curve in many categories. Perhaps you need to look within yourself and find out where your animosity towards Black women really comes from. I’ve read many of your comments in this blog and the majority of them are hateful towards Black women…You are the first one to jump on the Black women ain’t shit bandwagon and validate every negative stereotype associated with our people. The fact that you were talking mad shit about the appearance of random females on this blog without even knowing them speaks volumes about your character as a man and as a human being.

Oh and btw, I do think I’m a great catch and I’m not known for being delusional. My parents raised a quality person with a good head. I may not look like Naomi, Tyra, or Liya but I clean up pretty nicely. However the irony in that statement is that I attracted the majority of my boyfriends based on my personality and passion for life. So I’ll say that any guy who ends up marrying me did pretty damn well for himself.

But of course I can’t really expect you to agree because I’m a darkie greasy shark lookin female who hates on all light skin girls. Did I get that right Angry?

18 08 2008
Marc

Black women are simply too much headache when it comes to dating. I love ya’ll to death but sometimes my black ass doesn’t feel like jumping through so many hoops, even for the finest of sistas. I’m sure Chris/SBPH feels the same. Not every Black man needs a Black woman and not every Black female is a better catch than a White/Asian/Hispanic/other female. There are quality women of any race.

18 08 2008
Bassey

Chris, if you were in G’town last night, I definitely saw you.

Because of all of your stories and pictures of your friends, I probably saw a diversity fair looking gaggle of folks and then saw you after and assumed you were all together. If I hadn’t seen the Junior UN before, I wouldn’t have noticed/thought it was you. But because my senses were dull (due to all the praying and um… studying) I probably just connected it all together. 🙂

So it’s confirmed that you do exist and aren’t a corporate creation.

As far as interracial dating, I think the key is being open minded. I’ve dated outside of my race and the first time, I was uncomfortable. it didn’t help that on our first date, the Hebrew Isrealites called me a whore for the white man and practically jumped him. Good times! But once I realized that he was who I liked and that was that, then I just didnt’ care. The people cussing me out and trying to fight him weren’t trying to date me. The black men, that i was attracted too always exclusively dated white/asian women. It was difficult to strike a balance. I haven’t dated a white man since then and before him I dated an Asian guy. My point is this, black men have options. Black women are being told that we don’t have options. We have options. My ideal is a black man, I’ve dated black men exclusively for the last 5 years, I probably wont’ ever date another white or asian man again. But I’m not closed to it. Life is too short.
And I damn sure ain’t gonna sit around trying to convince a Black man to stay with me instead of the white woman he’s really after. It’s not that difficult. Yes. relationships are complicated but black men and black women, that’s been happening since the dawn of time. All this new shit is just ridiculous.

My brain is still in prayer so I’m probably not making much sense.

Now, the folks who ONLY date outside of their race, I have a problem with.

B

18 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Marc

I wouldn’t go as far as to say black women are difficult to date – once you’re in, you’re fine – it’s just way harder (in the ridiculously unnecessary sense) to get your foot in the door.

18 08 2008
overit

White and Nepali? What happened to Ethiopian girls? From the post where you mentioned them, it sounded like you talked to recent arrivals or girls who havent been here a long time. There are a TON of Ethiopian girls in the DC area who were born and raised here and wouldnt be so rude as to speak Amharic when someone would not understand.

White I can see (only cause yall brothers made us see..over and over again lol) but Nepali? Does that mean Indians,Pakis, and Bengalis too?

18 08 2008
Muse

Bye Marc! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

18 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Sweet and juicy Glory Greens, is there a full moon tonight because you people are all over the fucking place. No one is saying black women are better than white women, that black women are perfect, that people shouldn’t date outside their race or any such nonsense. People may not always help who they fall in love with, but they do make conscious decisions about who they AVOID versus who put themselves in a position to meet, how they interact with those people, and what they’re willing to commit to making it work. If having a “black family” is not high enough on the list for you to make an effort at it and/or you’re honestly just more attracted to non-black women…that’s fine! Please own it and love it, we’re happy for you! But just DON’T try to sell me that there’s a list of deal-breaker problems that black women have and THAT’S why you don’t date them. The HUMAN RACE is a pain in the ass to deal with but you don’t see me running off to live with a pack of wolves. You will WORK at obtaining and maintaining whatever you truly WANT, no need to make excuses about why you don’t want something else. If black women don’t seem to be approachable in the club (which clearly is debatable)…try approaching them somewhere else. And even then, if I started walking up to brothers in the club and handed them my panties with my phone number written in the crotch, some of y’all would still come up with another reason as to why Becky Sue is better (although hmmm, I might have just come up with *my* next club challenge, ha! :-p)

18 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Women of every color and flavor have something to offer. For example:

1. Black Women = loyalty, booty, patience
2. White Women = open-mindedness, willingness to experiment, boobies
3. Native American Women = Black Women – Booty + Insatiable sexual appetite
4. Asian Women = Nunchuck skills, bo staff skills, surprisingly willing to give head
5. Hispanic Women = haven’t had the pleasure
6. Middle Eastern Women = like to buy you stuff from Armani Exchange
7. Indian Women = Booty (surprised? I was.), Kama Sutra, tend to be screamers
8. Ethiopian Women = Black Women – Anger + Sexy Accent

And such.

18 08 2008
Jen

Damn, Chris.

I’m sorry your last Black girlfriend was a lousy lay, but you are going to have to give the sisters more credit than booty and love.

18 08 2008
SCGirl4Life

LOL… and patience. Don’t forget patience.

18 08 2008
Muse

Why do I feel my blood pressure going up?

Maybe I really was sheltered growing up because I never thought I would encounter so much bs when it comes to folks appreciating black women.

And to piggyback off what Doc said, who you invest your time with is a CHOICE. I don’t believe in Love at first sight. Lust yes… Love no. True love is developed over time. People choose who they are willing to invest time and resources in.

18 08 2008
Jen

Muse, who is pissing you off? I will put the root on their asses.

grr.

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ SCGirlLife

Hey I’m from Columbia, SC. What part of SC are you from?

People want what they want…but Angry…what is the deal man?

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
Muse

Jen I’m cool. I’m just over some of these bottom of the totem pole wack ass men. I also reading a racist article about Michelle Obama in the latest issue of New York Magazine that has my blood boiling. This woman has been attacked soley because she’s a Black woman. I’m waiting for the media to get on Cindy McCain for being an adultress and a crack whore. Everywhere I look, Black women are being attacked and quite frankly I’m sick of it.

18 08 2008
SCGirl4Life

Siobhan (Love the name)

I just tell people Charleston because no one knows where my small town is on the map anyway. I went to school in Columbia though. Right now I live in the DC area.

18 08 2008
Jen

They’re attacking her bc she is an American Black. We are the most hated group of people in this country. It is a little depressing. I try not to think about it and end up writing 40 page research papers on the subject.

18 08 2008
Marc

“Bye Marc! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

@Muse
I ain’t givin up on Black women so I’m not going anywhere. I prefer to date within my race if you see something else you like..oh well.

@ Chris
On one hand you might say if it harder to get in the door, try another. But then again, the best outcome isn’t always the easiest.

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ SCGirl

Cool Cool. I’m stationed in Jersey…well I’m deployed to Afghanistan right now but when not deployed I’m in Jersey.

So what’s your town? Summerville or thereabouts?

Siobhan is the third incarnation of my name. First it was Siobhan when I was born then shortly thereafter Shevawn (when my Mom determined it to be difficult for folks with the previous spelling) and then I changed it back to Siobhan. I love my cute gaelic name (Siobhan Elaine). It means “Woman of Wisdom”

I love Michelle. As it says on the Black Snob blog: Michelle Obama dresses so sharp…she could cut a bitch.

I also have been waiting for them to attack Barbie…I mean Cindy for being an adultress, coke whore, and all around trophy wife…or for the deal they worked out so she wouldn’t get prosecuted for stealing drugs to be revealed.

ALTHOUGH…when she recently appeared in public wearing a sling saying her carpel tunnel was acting up alot of folks were raising eye brows…I believe one colorful quote was, “McCain gets a pass this time but if Cindy shows up with a black eye saying she ran into a door we will have something to say.”

My oh my…

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
Bassey

I’m sorry. I’m finding it very difficult to believe that as a whole, collectively black women are anything. Be it difficult to get to know or difficult to date or difficult to keep or difficult to tie up to a bed post and throw jelly beans at. Like, really? The sweeping generalizations. White women aren’t a monolithic group. So why are black women reduced to the collection of your experiences? You say you want to be with a black woman and that’s your ideal… well, then fuck it. TRY HARDER. period. Because there are black women of all walks of life. You like a freak in the bed. There are black women who will let you pee on them while humming an R. Kelly song. You want a bungee jumping, sky diving, extreme sports alterna rock black chick. I can give you the number to at least 6.
Some of my friends, love them to life, are the whitest black girls you’d ever meet. Just straight up The Hills type math. Hell, i’ve been accused of that a few times in my old age. I know people, we aint’ friends, but I know them, who stay ready to fight, will twist their necks and snap on you so fast, you’ll be crying before they start talking. Don’t date them. They scare the hell out of me too.
If you want to date outside of your race, fine. I bless it. I honestly do but don’t say its’ because you ‘tried’ and they won’t or don’t and… whatever. Yo mama. Try harder.

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ Chris “Black Women = loyalty, booty, patience”

My dear, I’m sure you can do better than that. It’s so generic and somehow seems to equate to a doormat. Hmm, could just be my skewed view as a Dom though .

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ Bass

“Yo mama”

ROFLMAO!!!

Please, somebody pick up the jewels of wisdom that woman is dropping.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
SCGirl4Life

Siobhan

Not Summerville. I live near Mt. Pleasant in a small town in Berkeley County.

On another note, my Mother has been saying that Cindy McCain is a battered woman as well. She has been saying that for months now.

18 08 2008
overit

OL @ bassey and “yo mama”. yes chris, behold the power of positive thinking. you get your week started off and tell yourself, “when i go out this week, i WILL find a fine sista and man will this sista put all my past experiences in generalization hell”

18 08 2008
Bassey

@ JEN
I’m putting you on blast because you just friended me on Facebook. Lad, you are freakin’ GORGEOUS! All the black men, white men, Asian men, taneroxic men in Texas need to be punched in the throat. Or you need to move.

um…
No homo
(http://www.illdoctrine.com)

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

Hmm…I know where Mt Pleasant is but rather than embarrass myself with my dismal knowledge of towns around SC I’ll be quiet.

Well McCain is known for his horrific temper…which has somehow been kept out of the mass media.

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
Sister Toldja

I’m probably just gonna kill myself and call it a day.

18 08 2008
Siobhan/Hipployta

@ ST…um okay?

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
aimlessfrolicking

i think creativity should be added to the list of black women attributes. shit, lord knows i have to get real creative with my hair some days..

18 08 2008
Uninspired Muse

“Native American Women = Black Women – Booty + Insatiable sexual appetite”

Ha!! You not lying.

18 08 2008
sarah

Sister Toldja

sorry i didnt get back to you, but i take a break from the computer during the weekend.

i am giving all of my big girl clothes away. i can’t really alter them since ive dropped two sizes. good thing is, i wasnt always this heavy, so i’ve reinherited my old wardrobe. it feels good to get back into clothes that you loved but couldnt wear cause you decided to be a fatass for a couple of years. i feel like i am done losing weight, but i wanna drop one more size. so, i am going to tone up. i’ll prolly take up yoga once i move to Bmore.

feel better 🙂

18 08 2008
Amadeo

I’m going to copy and paste Chris’ list of various attributes and keep it like a scorecard…can’t tell the players without a scorecard.

18 08 2008
Knatural

*hungover*

SBPH/Chris – how is it that you banged such a variety of women? Personal mission? College? And I assume you sampled more than one of each group to draw these conclusions. Or maybe not. But not one Latina?!?!?! Should’ve turned down that Brazilian. That counts, right?

18 08 2008
Knatural

Shouldn’t have turned down*

18 08 2008
Omar

“I also think that brothers can be guility of going for the same woman who every man wants and getting mad when she rejects them. She’s the most gorgeous woman in the room….are you the most gorgeous man? If looks shouldn’t matter to her, why do they matter so much t o you? Or maybe she has a man already? ”

They must not have seen “A Beautiful Mind”, game theory works…

18 08 2008
Amadeo

Hmmm…having read the latest comments I felt I would add this: (I shouldn’t have to add – but this is a generalization)

The problem lies in the perception of Black men. Mind you…the same thing that goes on with black women and being single is going on with everyone else. Just look at white girls on tv. Look at the covers to womens magazines. Most women are thinking they will never get married, or wondering if the man they are with will propose or whatever. The further issue is all we ever hear about is black men are in jail, black men don’t take care of their kids, black men don’t go to college…blah, blah, blah. This futher heightens black women’s sense of urgency and any issue you have with a black dude becomes a part of the larger “issues” of black men. The public perspective combined with that personal sense of urgency total overshadows other factors that should be considered. Like the fact that average age of marriage has been going up for the past few decades. It’s around 30 for women and 33 for men. I won’t even get into the role feminism has played in the declining available pool of preferred mates for all women…though I will mention that the issues of career women is a reflection of this and something women as a whole are just really having to deal with in the last 15 or so years. In the end…I don’t think it’s really that urgent. I think more then anything we as a society are used to thinking we have control over more then we do and anything we can’t control becomes a code red – defcon 3 level issue.

18 08 2008
Omar

@Amadeo – You can’t really win this argument with a woman anyway because their premise is fucked up and they don’t want to hear it; finding someone you plan to spend the rest of you life with is a little deeper than finding a nig nog with a job. It would still be a challenge if there were humble-educated-well paid-black men everywhere it still doesn’t mean that one of the next 5 or 10 guys a girl meets will be right for her.

18 08 2008
Jen

@ Amadeo – I think it goes beyond that. I have white/other friends from ug and high school, and so do my friends. And all these bitches seem to be engaged or married or in LTRs. Even homely girls!! ESPECIALLY bitchy girls. I am in my early 20s. If I see one more horrific bitch announce a pregnancy on Facebook, I will commit ritualistic Japanese suicide. I am not asking to be engaged at this point. But I would at least like to encounter a loyal Black man who is not afraid of commitment if for no other reason than that I am sick of celibacy and do not want to share peen. All I need is one. Seriously!!

I know it isn’t just me. My Black friends and associates have had this convo more than once, the “why are all the Black girls single?” convo. It’s not like we are undateable. Many of us who are single had yearssss long relationships with men which ended because they were sloppy cheaters or lost their minds (I mean, men literally in therapy to figure out why they felt the need to screw over their ‘perfect’ girlfriends) or needed time to whore themselves out. You don’t break up with somebody you’ve been with for three years or buy a home with over something petty. I am really tired of hearing the same old stories–either personally or through the grapevine. At least down south, it seems most people meet their husbands/wives while they are in school, so the Black girls my age who aren’t married or in LTR (most of them) feel like the time period wherein they are most likely to or might easily meet the One is closing in on them.

18 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Jen:

I have no desire to be prego or knotted up (married) because I have grad school approaching in a year…anyway, what I notice, here in the midwest is that a lot of black & other girls i went to high school with that got prego in hs are getting recently knotted up…and black girls that i’m in undergrad with now are getting prego with just one or two semesters left to graduate-these are females at the top of their classes, made it through hs without any kids and now, so close to the finish line, they are knocked!!! I am somewhat happy for them but all my friends are leaving me-who the hell i’m gonna go to the club with now??!?!?!? And if I go to another baby shower this summer I will commit a ritualistic Japanese suicide with mideast Terrorist flavor, in other words, I’m taking you all with me!!! I digress…

I am lucky enough to be finding these black men who are college graduates, in med school, entreapreuners, etc. I don’t know what it is, maybe the “Greek Circle” or maybe it’s cuz women sleep on Milwaukeee, not knowing how many successful black men are out here, and not necessarily looking for Snow White neither!

Ladies, where/when is the best time to meet the eligible black bachelor???
I say Uundergrad-the campus leaders, Dean’s Lists, horny but too busy to date multiple chicks-that’s when you go in for the kill!!!

18 08 2008
Defiant

Seems like the humour around here has straight up died. Satistically mixed ethnic realtionships have a higher percentage of failure or so I’ve been told. But I still say if you find someone that you love no matter the race differences that you should go for it. I’m a big believer in existentialism if you have an internal truth or believe things are a curtain way then you reality will correspond to that internal state of mind. If you’re a black woman and you think that you’re being over looked then chances are it’ll be come your reality. If you’re a black man and think all black woman are stand offish then thats all you’ll see. The people that have the best success in relationships are open minded, and positive people. We all need to loose the nagative outlook on ourselves and other people.

18 08 2008
Amadeo

Out of my girls 10 best friends 8 of them are married with kids.

At her job all of the white folks are married, making money and/or educated. Amongst those at her job there is more infidelity, abuse, and all other types of crazy issues going on. For real that shit sounds like a soap opera.

Mind you, there are plenty of people that screw up relationships, but 1) it does go both ways. 2) Nothing goes according to plan.

The idea that everything will line up perfectly or even semi-perfectly is what gets most people. On top of that no one really talks about the good relationships or the married couples that are doing it. People tend to look at each others despair and wallow instead of looking at the success. I had a conversation once with my old boss about how she thought there were no good black men around. She annoyed me to the point that I pulled out my phone and ran down a list of about 40 black men I personally know, that are educated, working and generally decent people. She discounted half of them because they were married or involved. For her purposes that’s understandable…but in general we do that too much. We talk about the deadbeat dads instead of single fathers, we talk about depressed single people instead of happy married people. We will gladly talk about unhappy people who’s relationship/marriage is falling apart though. On top of that too many people are looking for the perfect situation. People have to realize though that if you aren’t willing to bend much you may be waiting…awhile. If you feel like you don’t want to settle…cool, but realize that no matter what you’re talking about when you aren’t willing to settle you end up waiting longer. Additionally because way more women are going to school and involved in careers you won’t have the same timeframe as women had before. In general everyone needs to realize their situation is different and not compare it to another persons…if it’s good or bad.

18 08 2008
Jen

@JessAKA – the Japanese have a word for what I was describing (seppuku) and a word for what you described (kamikaze). The Japanese be ON IT.

I am entering my seventh year of university, so the days of I-am-about-to-go-to-grad-school-I-don’t-need-to-be-engaged-or-married are dead and gone. Undergrad is def when you go in for the kill. Sorry to be talking about men like meat, but that is what I told my little sister and that is what I am telling you. I also told her not to waste her time dating men she wouldn’t want to marry and have children with and not to waste her time giving excuses for men with “potential” (because “potential” is Bullshit for “ain’t done shit”). Casual dating is for suckers.

18 08 2008
Knatural

wow.

18 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Jen:

While I am curious about how you know the details of Japanese suicide, I learned someting new today, lol..
I definitely agree with the “don’t date em if you couldn’t marry them or you couldn’t have their babies without worrying about moving to a 3rd world-esque projects, knowing that you may never hear or see from the nig again” I hate wasting my time…yeah, some men have their “talents” that could never be my man ( i consider them “After-Darks”) but a woman should know if a man is worth her time within 2weeks-1month of dating. However, i am a master black-baller, I cut nigs off immediately, for some of, but not limited to, the following:

Kids-unless you are a VERY successful man, who had the kids in a previous MARRIAGE and they are old enough to watch themselves
Jobless-self explanatory
Carless-unfortunately public transport isn’t big up here-i’m not asking u to push a bently, but if you don’t have a car, then we cannot go anywhere!
Education-I’m 21, and I am about to graduate…unless you are a nig that made it big right out of high school some how, what can you provide for a woman/family?

I am a strong believer that Black women need a Black man (or whatever you like) that is at least 2 steps ahead of her. For Example: If I am a college student, you need to be a college graduate…if i make $$$$, u need to make $$$$$, etc.

Maybe, I’m picky, but hey, you aim low-you get low and this postive thinking has worked for me:)

18 08 2008
Amadeo

Another issue here is roles. Feminism, moving from manufacturing and production to more education/skill based jobs, some men having trouble dealing with making less, women generally wanting a man that makes more…shit is like a puzzle that was thrown in the air and people are still trying to put it back together. Even folks who go for a traditional marriage with the man working and the woman staying home is hard to afford unless the man is making bank and the woman will get looked at funny for being a “housewife”.

Hell even in a modern situation there are issues. I was reading about stay at home fathers (They did have income) and the issues with the mothers in regards how the fathers deal with the kids and even just their urges to be home with them versus working.

18 08 2008
Jen

@ Amadeo – I know there are good Black men out there. I know Black love is real and etc. But, the single men I encounter tend to be either taken or clearly not ready for a serious relationship, which means they are not for me. And even though I’d like to be in a relationship, I’d rather be alone than deal with bullshit.

I am a single mother, but back in the day before I became a mom, my first adult boyfriend was a single father. I have never discounted single fathers. But, the truth of the matter is that I haven’t met a single dad I’d date since him.

I am a pretty positive person. If there is a flaw in my perception of the world, it is naivete, not cynicism. If things are looking bleak to me, of all people, it isn’t because I’m imagining things.

18 08 2008
Knatural

Maybe I can’t comment, since I’m married, and I’m more of a go-with-the-flow type of person, but all these rules about when to date, who to date, how long to date, required financial/education level, irritate me. Sometimes I think this is why Black women are so notoriously single. Maybe I’m wrong.

18 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Sarah – I dropped two as well, so I only kept a handful of things for altering. I add something new to the giveaway bag every couple days. Putting on my prom skirt and some other things I had long since grown out with ease was THE best fee ling!

With all due respect, those of yall moaning about feminism seem to have ABSOLUTELY no knowledge of it and you MAY wish to do some research before blaming it for the fall of anything. Seriously, y’all sound like West Viginians complaining that Islam is a terrorist religion.

18 08 2008
Defiant

@ Rabbitt Pay my bills, pay my bills bad outlook, and deterant for men everywhere.

18 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Amadeo

I recently took a Sociology course that discussed what you are speaking of…i look of it moreso in the Black community, we all have the economy issues, but there is that added insult that more and more Black women are obtaining degrees-so their desire in a man is evolving. We don’t just want a husband, we want an educated, financially stable, emotionally aware, mature provider. And can anyone blame us? Decades of holding together the Black Family, educated Black women today are needing more and we should get it….we even went into the interracial marriage topic and the research broke it down in the sense that Black men are more likely to date out of their race because they believe, subconciously or not, that a non-black wife, especially white will lighten their “socio-economic load” the difficulties of black men to make it period and adding a black woman to the equation, will make success and stability less likely-not my words! Couple that with hundreds of years of manufacturing self-hatred, devaluing and exaggerating the sexuality of black women-played alongside the upliftment and idealization of the “pure” white woman i.e. ‘female beauty’ many men have been conditioned and have internalized these ideals and they are affecting the female black race disproportionately…anyhow, i’m a product of miscegnation so i don’t have a personal issue with it-i see it on another level-a culmination of feminist theory, racism and white power-maintenence

18 08 2008
JG*

I haven’t really been able to read all these messages, but I gather (and I could be wrong) that our biggest problem (and someone may have said this) is that we overthink the process way too much.

Black Woman likes Black Man = Talk.
Black Man Likes Black Woman = Talk.

Games and all that are too complicated and no one knows the other person’s rules. I mean I know there are things that work and people like to play hard to get and blah blah blah. But on the real, just being yourself, and keeping it 100 all the time, should work. And when it doesn’t, it’s not worth it.

18 08 2008
sarah

Knat, i think you are totally right.

this whole compliance to the notion of “a time and a place to marry” is the best way to miss your man.

18 08 2008
Ms. Sula

@Knat… Ditto.

18 08 2008

“Maybe I can’t comment, since I’m married, and I’m more of a go-with-the-flow type of person, but all these rules about when to date, who to date, how long to date, required financial/education level, irritate me. Sometimes I think this is why Black women are so notoriously single. Maybe I’m wrong.”

I agree

18 08 2008
Jen

“Maybe I can’t comment, since I’m married, and I’m more of a go-with-the-flow type of person, but all these rules about when to date, who to date, how long to date, required financial/education level, irritate me. Sometimes I think this is why Black women are so notoriously single. Maybe I’m wrong.”

@ Knatural – Once these rules get to a certain point, you’re right. For me, height rules beyond ‘at least about my height’ and (unless SHE doesn’t want to ever have kids) the infamous ‘he can’t have any kids’ are two signs that women are going down the wrong path. But, I think women know themselves and know what they will and will not be happy living with. For example, if you will not be happy carrying a man financially or if you know you want a large family, then there is nothing wrong with avoiding dating men who are not financially stable. To contrast, you are a useless soul if you won’t be a happy with a guy because he is three inches shorter than your ideal height.

A lot of the more reasonable ‘rules’ are just about protecting oneself from unnecessary drama and confusion behind somebody you shouldn’t be with in the first place. I don’t have many, but I do have them. I will NOT date a man who is not ready to be settled. I will NOT date a man who cannot or is not on the track of being able to support a family. I will NOT date a man who does not understand my humor or shares none of my interests and values. I will NOT date a man whose judgment I wouldn’t happily concede to in most circumstances. Is there really something wrong with that?

18 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Defiant:

I’m not asking anyone to pay MY bills-I do that without a problem. I need for him to be able to pay HIS bills without a problem

Even people want to discount how important financial stability is in building a future with someone-they probably think with their heart and not their mind…good luck to you!

Anyway, I don’t play any games and my “black-balling” doesn’t apply to everyone, and of course there are many other things I look for. I am fortunate enough to be in a position to be picky-take it however you choose, but I won’t settle and I have seen EVERY example of a woman-friends or family, settling fail- long, hard and painful…I have NEVER seen anyone who has had high hopes in life or relationships fail-might be alone for a minute but it was worth it. And, no offense to fathers or single mothers, but it’s not for me and I make no excuses for that

If someone doesn’t believe that there are some rules, guidelines and tips for meeting the “one” then they may have ignored the circumstances in which they found their one or they are still lookin…good luck!

18 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

By the way:

I am picky, not very, but picky nonetheless and i am NOT notoriously single:)

18 08 2008
hipployta

Whew…

@ JG…sounds about right

beautiful kisses
Siobhan

18 08 2008
Amadeo

@ ST

Enlighten me then. It plays a factor as it changes the roles.

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Amadaeo- Feminism/womanism is about acknowledging the equality of men and women, not ignoring the differences. The most plausible working feminist framework will allow people to take the roles they are best suited for, as opposed to relying on antiquated gender roles that do not fit who we are culturally today.

If you are seriously interested in learning more, check out Michele Wallace’s “Black Macho And The Myth Of The Superwoman” as well as bell hooks’ “Feminism Is For Everybody”. They are very easy reads! I reccomend them to everyone, especially brothers.

Black men are as deeply entrenched in their subconcious patriarchy and sexism as White folks are their racism, and in the same manner, most brothers never see this as an issue worth confronting.

19 08 2008
aimlessfrolicking

sister toldja,

i read both of those books in my women’s studies “black women in america” class my freshman year. i definitely agree with you on the sexism thing and the mentality of many black males. just try bringing up serious issues that are rooted in sexism; domestic violence and the prevalence of date rape, for example. it seems like those are two topics that black men want nothing to do with.

any and all men on this board, why is it that topics like these are so difficult for you to talk about? i have no pretentious intent, just curiosity because i’ve never understood that.

19 08 2008
Amadeo

Where was the subconscious patriarchy and sexism in my comment. If women weren’t treated as equals and they strived for equality are you saying that didn’t change gender roles? Stop reading more into something then is really there. It’s like you got offended just cause I typed the word feminism. Let it go. That’s like saying the civil rights movement didn’t affect any changes in regards to the roles of minorities in America.

@ aimless frolicking

the better question is why is a topic like this so difficutl to have a conversation about without someone taking offense off the bat? No one had a problem or took any issue with the other things in my list…so why feminism?

19 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Amadeo- Your whole comment serves as what I call a “case in point”. You have essentially decided for me what I should take offense to and told me to “let it go”. Sounds so much like a White person when a Black person complains about race, it’s scary. Also, you weren’t the only person I directed my original comment about feminism too. But I see your guilty subconcious shining through. I never said there was patriarchy in your comment, but you DID cite feminism as a problem or issue that has compounded the problems between Black people….which lets me know you don’t know jack shit about feminism.

Aimless Frolicking- *Sigh* These Negroes are blind out here, I am so ready to give up. Black men turn in to White men when you brin up feminism, it makes me want to vomit. They are so closed minded it’s fucking disgusting.

19 08 2008
aceklub

@aimless frolicking

I don’t have any problem with talking about those topics but besides I don’t have any real experience or knowledge relating domestic violence or date-rape incident as I never had close friends bring the topic up to me.

As it relates to sexism, I try my best to keep things equal and folks that know me know that one thing that I dislike are double standards, regardless of who is benefitting from the double standard. IMO, these -ism will continue to exist b/c people are not looking to lose their on top status (white people with racism or Males with sexism). I guess we will have to continue to make small strides to progress.

19 08 2008
Jen

Uh-oh…Sista Toldja, I hope I didn’t piss you off because, with certain [probably important] exceptions, I think our views on feminism are pretty similar. I’m basing this on what I remember of your comments on the Feminism post.

19 08 2008
Amadeo

@ ST

I told you to let go that bitterness that makes you see any mention of feminisim as negative…did you even read my initial comment or did you just see feminisim and make an assumption? I can’t make up your mind for you about anything…but I can make the suggestion I did if you choose not to take it then fine. I just know this won’t progress beyond your perspective. In which I’m a part of the system that’s denying women equality and comparable to a racist white person…huh? Stop looking for what you want and see what’s actually there. I have no guilty sub-conscious…I used logic and since I’m the only person that mentioned feminisim in the comments preceding yours I tried to give you the credit that you weren’t just speaking into the air or addressing someone who wasn’t in the discussion, additionally I would hope that you didn’t just inject an imagined beef with feminism into the convo.

If you had actually read it you would notice that I didn’t reference it as a negative or a positive…it’s another factor that played into changing gender roles…which I also did not put into a negative or positive light. My whole point was that the relationships between men in women general (black for our purposes) has changed over the last few decades and we are all still trying to see where we fit. I know more about feminism then you think I do. I also understand that I don’t know everything about anything…step into the gray area, there’s plenty of room.

21 08 2008
Laurel

Damn! I’m so mad I missed this.

21 08 2008
aimlessfrolicking

“@ aimless frolicking

the better question is why is a topic like this so difficutl to have a conversation about without someone taking offense off the bat? No one had a problem or took any issue with the other things in my list…so why feminism?”

Amadeo,

who took offense off the bat? i was, and remain, curious about why it’s so taboo…your response makes me even more confused about why men won’t talk about it. and your question wasn’t better. haha. why people get offended off the bat about a lot of topics, but they’re reasoning for avoiding these topics…a bit more complex.

aceklub,

thanks for answering that. so you say that people don’t bring it up? that’s interesting because women talk about it all the time together…i wonder how to make these dialogues more..bisexual, for lack of a better word. i think that men not having these sorts of discussions are at the root of the problem, because it’s in the realm of possibility for *men* to stop these things from occuring (by not committing these acts themselves).

sista toldja,

hahahhaha couldn’t have said it better. i like that you said it though, i’m not good at expressing frustration it always comes out A7S8ER3QIUREWA;PQ*&&%% instead of articulate.

21 08 2008
aimlessfrolicking

crap.

amadeo,

why people get offended off the bat about a lot of topics is pretty simple, but their reasoning for avoiding these topics…a bit more complex.

that’s what i meant to say.

21 08 2008
aceklub

@ aimless frolicking

Yea, I never had any female talk to me about the topic so it is easy for me to assume that my female friends never experienced domestic abuse or date-rape.

I guess it is weird b/c guys will not want to be known as a women beater so it is not like a guy will create conversation like “yea i beat my wife on the regularly, unless they are really looking for some counseling or help. I just hope that I have friends who don’t engage in those activities.

22 08 2008
Amadeo

@ aimless

I only take offense when things (unwarranted are directed at me). I should ask what exactly do you want to talk about…feminism? I don’t like any particular ist or ism. Consider environmentalists. People will probably never give a damn about saving whales or trees while they don’t give a damn about each other and in some cases themselves. The only thing I’ll ever be seen advocating in a strong way for is youth. If we educate young people we can erase alot of ills. As for the rest…I can talk til I’m blue in the face, but frankly most adults need something dramatic to shake them out of their state of mind. I figure why waste time trying to convince them when a whole generation of young people are being ignored…they’ll make society tomorrow, I’d rather focus on them.

17 10 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

I’m light years late with this response, but i couldn’t help but return to this blog and express the thoughts i felt when i initially read the last hundred or so comments of this post.

I think it’s pretty clear that the majority of people on this earth suck. Most people have little to no moral character, flaunt these ridiculously inflated egos cloaked under the guise of “swagger” or some shit, or theyre vapid douchebags who rely solely on their accomplishments for actual proof of their self worth… etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Real rap, nobody believes in getting to know each other and letting shit happen organically, esp where relationships are concerned. It’s all about a fast fuck, a monetary or status come up, perfect teeth(?), or some other completely irrelevant indicator of what dictates a “good catch”. I can’t count the number of times i’ve met a guy who ran down his big dick resume before he even asked my black ass what my name was. It’s not about love or falling in love; it’s a motherfucking dog and pony show, with everybody showing off their perfectly groomed and cultivated prizes.

You know, no doubt, black love gets a bad rap in this day and age, but being the proud product of a black (26 years and counting) union, i know it can happen, and i know the shit is real. Although im a strong believer in black love (sara palin shout out to all the foine, black menses n shit), I’m a stronger believer in actual love, and that doesn’t constitute somebody waiting around for love and/or dismissing love…because the love that fell in their lap was in the wrong shade. OF COURSE i want my man to be a strong, smart, ambitious, lay-my-body-down-while-tonytonetoni-playin-in-the-background BLACK man, and, YES, I get the stupid face when I see a fine ass black dude with a plain jane other jawn, but fuck it! Everybody deserves a fair chance at love…ahhhhhh, i digress.

Chris, if you find somebody you can kick it with, vibe crazy with, laugh with, cuddle with, experience new things with, listen to 90’s rnb with (complete with an impromptu body roll and one legged butterfly…nope! idgaf! this is a MUST! ;P), make out with, fight with, and just be your “normal jovial game show host self” with— lock that bitch down and be happy. If there is anyone that ive never met, seen, or spoken to before in my fucking life who i truly feel deserves happiness, it’s you.

Do you, dude, and be happy doing it. [=

HA! im faded as fuck and this is random as fuck.

I’ll prolly regret this in morning

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