Stuff Black People Hate: The Final 10 Posts

7 08 2008

Only ten posts remain (not including Thoughts for Tuesday/Thursday and To My Readers entries) before the journey that has been StuffBlackPeopleHate comes to an official close on August 31.

For those who are interested, the Facebook group for the blog will remain here:
http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?ref=sb#/group.php?gid=17135349852

The SBPH book is still slated for release at the end of the month, while the undisclosed second half of the…project…will be unveiled, probably through the FB group, at a date TBD.

For today, enjoy:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/07/food.guilty.plea.ap/index.html

-Chris

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348 responses

7 08 2008
4m_no_2_dc

im so fucking sad!!!!!

7 08 2008
Lindsay

Wait, what?

7 08 2008
Knatural

say “sike”!

7 08 2008
Elle

Ummmmm… what?

7 08 2008
former lurker

how am i supposed to make it through my work day post-SBPH?!?!?!

7 08 2008
Jay_Everyday

Come on now, you can’t end it. There’s so much more stuff Black people hate!

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Hmmm…where else can I start discussing a topic and have it turn to a sexual discussion?

As I said in the other post…he should have went high class.

7 08 2008
Kayb

What!!!
I’ve been reading this blog for a long time, my first time ever posting b/c I cannot believe this!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

7 08 2008
Knatural

Soooo…is this more of a Jay-Z/Brett Favre kind of “official” retirement?

7 08 2008
JG*

Maybe it’s like the second half of the project is that.. SPBH continues! 🙂

7 08 2008
JG*

And you know what… trading in Prison food for some Popeyes makes perfect sense to me!

7 08 2008
Omar

I guess he had to be black with a name like ‘Tremayne’

7 08 2008
STONE

Wack!

I will be forced to utilize facebook…

When is the book signing?

7 08 2008
Dave

Stuff Black People Hate: Fake Retirements?

7 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Stuff Black People Hate: Fake Retirements?”

LMFAO!!!!!

7 08 2008
chaoticdiva

um…why is that article screaming deja vu?

(again, being an ass.)

7 08 2008
Omar

@JG – it was actually KFC… I’m mad he didn’t ask for Popeye’s

He would’ve been guilty anyway and reporting these asinine and subtly racist details reminds me there is a thin line between CNN and FOX

7 08 2008
Knatural

And…Tremayne got married the day of his sentencing! Three cheers for fried chicken, pizza, and conjugal visits.

7 08 2008
JessAKA Rabbitt

Awww Shiz!

7 08 2008
chaoticdiva

…you know, I’m getting really depressed with all the bad media on my state…well, my county in particular.

7 08 2008
Laurel

Awwww damn!!!! Oh well, you need to be getting paid for your talent not giving it away.

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

What the crap?! Ending SBPH?!
–sad face–

Book?…. the project?….
–slight perk up–

7 08 2008
AG

PLEASE say it ain’t so!!! I read this blog EVERY DAY!!!

7 08 2008
Defiant

Well this fucking sucks! It’s been a good run Chris! I look forward to reading the final 10 posts!

7 08 2008
JG*

KFC…. That’s a mess!!!

But Omar you are so right. Really there was no point in reporting that. People give CNN a pass often, when really.. they are a “nigga” away from being like FOX

7 08 2008
former lurker

“And…Tremayne got married the day of his sentencing! Three cheers for fried chicken, pizza, and conjugal visits.”

maybe he participated in the “marry your baby daddy” program…

7 08 2008
LEO

I’m crying, Chris don’t do this to us.

7 08 2008
Knatural

Durham, [33], also got married Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the Portland courthouse. The wedding to Vanessa Davis, 48, also of New York City, was not part of the plea deal that will give Durham a chance for parole after 30 years. – From CNN

He married a Cougar. Gross.

7 08 2008
8th Wonder

But…but whyyyy?

7 08 2008
Saun

While I understand that certain things have a shelf life, I will miss Chris’ writing style filed with sarcasm, smart-ass, wit, and informative mathematical & logic equations.

7 08 2008
BK24/7

Why couldn’t he request steak? No wonder the black people love chicken stereotype won’t go away.

With that said, I haven’t had some good fried chicken in a minute. It’s too hot to fire up the frydaddy!

7 08 2008
modest-goddess

Who is the fool that decided to marry the chicken plea guy?

7 08 2008
puff

i’m confused, why does the dude get free kfc and pizza? *smh* what is the world coming to?

p.s. so so sad that sbph is coming to an end… what i am to do now when the 2520s are making me furious? (aside from killing them and requesting free popeyes while im in prison, just because)

7 08 2008
blackberry molasses

okay… you’re fuckin with us… right?

7 08 2008
former lurker

in his defense, chicken is pretty damn tasty…

7 08 2008
Cheekie

*double take*

No, I did NOT just read that. Yeah, you better pull a “Sike” on us somewhere within these “last ten posts”. No joke.

What happened to those hundreds of topics you got lined up to write about?

UPSET as hell.

However, this managed to make me laugh:

“Stuff Black People Hate: Fake Retirements?”

🙂

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

DIED @ “chicken plea guy”!

7 08 2008
Knatural

in his defense, chicken is pretty damn tasty…

ahahahahahhahahhahhaha…preaching to the choir. We Black, we know!

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

I think in honour of the end of SBPH, there should be a reader countdown of fav posts….
Mine–Fatassness Test

7 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Every man in my life leaves me.

(Well, this is a lie. But I am still not happy about this. This was my favorite blog.)

7 08 2008
JG*

@Knat: That’s exactly what I was thinking! LOL What do ya think you’re TALKIN to!?

7 08 2008
Cheekie

As for Chicken Murderer, I wouldn’t even be mad at him if he asked for Popeyes, but he requested that second-rate ass KFC? How you gonna request chicken as your last meal and choose KFC?!

7 08 2008
Knatural

No Shavonne. The best comment post was the “Giving Head” instructions. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA…

And CNN, I understand it’s August, a slow news week, whatever, but this story is pretty ridiculous. Why is this national news?

7 08 2008
puff

fuck i’m slow.

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

@ Knatural
It’s national news because it furthers the country’s case on the ridiculousness of black people… sighs….

7 08 2008
LeNoir

aww hell naw! What Blogger am I gunna lust after now? I plan to build you a shrine made of chewed up gum in the shape of your head tin my closet like Helga from Hey Arnold and convese with it and tell it all my secrets in the dead of night, naked illuminted by Roman candles. Would it be too forwad if I sent you a pair of panties and a couple of nudes? Just as a going away present?

7 08 2008
JG*

LMAO @ LeNoir!!!!

7 08 2008
Bailey Blues

this is a sad, sad day in my cubicle….

7 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

Noooooooooooo! And just when I was getting up the courage to send in my pic for to be the Angry Black Woman this happens. I guess all good things must come to an end but it’s been so great reading Chris’ posts and the reader comments. Y’all are the craziest, funniest, smartest, wittiest folk I know (of)*. I don’t know how I’ll possibly make it through my workdays without SBPH. I will be buying the book though!

*Is is strange that one of the highlights of my workdays is looking forward to reading the opinons/commentary of complete strangers?

7 08 2008
B4Prez

*Writes down LeNoir’s license plate number…just in case Chris, the blog, and the project all ‘randomly’ disappear*

7 08 2008
LEO

Atleast wait until the one year aniversary which is in five month. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

7 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

“No Shavonne. The best comment post was the “Giving Head” instructions. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA…”~Knatural

I think Knatural might be on to something. Are you talking about the alphabet thing? I don’t know if it was the best comment but definately useful information. I tried it and my boyfriend was stupid around the letter “O”!

7 08 2008
Roger

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Man, FUCK CNN.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???!!!??

Best of luck in all your endeavors, Chris–can’t wait til the book comes out.

HOW AM I TO LIVE/PROCRASTINATE/WASTE TIME AT WORK???!!!??

7 08 2008
B4Prez

For real tho, I won’t have any reason to come to work now…

Maybe Chris is just doing this to get sum ‘I’ll always remember u’ panty-draws from the women-folk on here.

7 08 2008
B

NEGRO SAY WHAT?

7 08 2008
LEO

Chirs, If you don’t have time to write everyday, we’ll be ok with one post a week, I promise………right everybody?

7 08 2008
JG*

The Do’s and Don’ts of head giving. Classsssssic.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

If he didn’t request a conjugal beforehand he loses.

7 08 2008
B4Prez

*Drops and does the ‘they shot Pookie’ roll across the floor*

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

I don’t know if I could deal with just a post a week….I’m already all cracked out on this blog….If it’s gonna end, it has to end, just cold turkey….or in today’s case, cold, nasty KFC…

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

Damn it Gina!!!!! Im at a loss for words. What am I to do while I am at work… I am pouting.

7 08 2008
former lurker

just actually read the story. he got carrot cake and ice cream too!!

big pimpin baby

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Carrot cake and ice cream don’t make up for the nastiness that is KFC. I mean, I’d probably settle for the BBQ wings, but that original recipe mess has gotta go.

A post a week? I might be able to go for that…somethin’s better than nothin’, right? But if you go away forever, Chris…there’s only one reaction to that:

DAMN, DAMN, DAAAAMN, James!

7 08 2008
LEO

I don’t give a damn about the stupid story, i’m mad as hell. I think Chris is mad at someone in here, Chris tell me who pissed you off and I’ll do something . Ok ill shut the hell up, i’m just sad that’s all.

7 08 2008
former lurker

maybe he got extra crispy. or those new sauceless hotwings

7 08 2008
Amadeo

SBPH ending is like:

A) James Evans dying.

B) Ramo dying on the subway tracks.

C) Al Green switching to gospel.

D) Gina Leaving Martin.

E) Biggie getting shot.

F) Tupac getting shot (the second time).

7 08 2008
ayo

You gotta be kidding. You are going to divert our attention elsewhere, no?

7 08 2008
Omar

@Amadeo

G) ‘Cornbread’ getting shot by the cops

7 08 2008
LeNoir

My favoite blog to date was the one on Asian girls. You said you needed a black girlfriend a bottle of wine and some theepy. How bout a lonely college student with a coca cola bockle shape, a handle of the cheapest Rubenoff I can find and a massage with coco butte oil? Will that make you stay?

@ B4Pez forget takin down my plates. If the lovin is as good as i plan, my ass will walk or take a Fung Whah bus. Fuck it! Chis is hot…

7 08 2008
LeNoir

the “r” on my keyboad is stuck. If u read my comment outloud, sounds like i have a lisp. lol

7 08 2008
Cheekie

former lurker: Now those new sauceless hot wings DO look good, I ain’t even gonna lie. lol

LMAO @ Amadeo’s list. Too true!

All I know is that this “…project…” better involve:

1. Daily blog entries
2. A comment section
3. Shabooty

Pretty much the same thing going on here minus the title, though I’m gonna miss the title…

Anyhow. Please make it happen!

7 08 2008
Ashleyisthe1

I just discovered this blog and it will soon be gone *tear*

7 08 2008
Deesigner

Gina left Martin?

7 08 2008
B4Prez

LMAO@ Fung Whah bus. What u know about that?

This blog ending is also like when they shot Ricky in Boyz n the Hood…SMH

7 08 2008
LEO

How about we all chip in and buy him some chicken and his favorite booth every week? i know now he’s considering to stay, right Chris……….you better say something men.

7 08 2008
TheChad

i guess i’ll go back to doing the work i actually get paid to do….

damn…

and this is more like the deaths of:

G) Mufasa

H) Apollo Creed

I) D’Wayne and Denise breakin’ up… she was SO much better than Whitley

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Deesigner…. no she didn’t in the show. But in real life they were having some serious issues off set.

7 08 2008
Shay-d-lady

I dont know the Chad… Wayne and Whitley breaking up at the engagement party? That was heartbreaking…however I do feel like I was just “dear johned”

7 08 2008
LeNoir

@B4Pez
I know, a $15.00 Fungh Whah booty call is the HEIGHT of povety and diploralism but what can i say, I’m a broke college student.

7 08 2008
Deesigner

Thanks Almondie….I thought I was up on my 90’s trivia.

I am ignoring Chris trying to quit us. We should all start singing “And I am telling you…I’m not going…”

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Sister Toldja… Chris no disrespect and Im pretty sure on ur part no disrespect will be taken… You said this was ur favorite blog. Im assuming you read others as well. Do u know of any that are remotely any where as being as interesting and addictive as SBPH cuz Ima need something to scratch my itch.

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

LMAO@ Deesigner!!!!
” Your the best man Ive EVER known… There’s no way I could Ever Go…”
LMAO!!!!

7 08 2008
Cheekie

“I dont know the Chad… Wayne and Whitley breaking up at the engagement party? That was heartbreaking…”

For real! And that heartbreaking break-up was made sweet again with “BABY PLEASE!!” at the Whitley/Senator (non)wedding. IMO, Denise was a boring character.

But, The Chad, you ain’t kiddin’ about Mufasa! Damn, that is my movie.

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Re: Martin/Gina

Imsoalmondie – “But in real life they were having some serious issues off set.

How come I never heard about this? Sounds juicy.

7 08 2008
vitazza

Imma gonna get sick now……..wtf please say “just funnin yall” K?????
Idea…… just post once a week, a month you are too good to leave us empty blogged!!!!!!

7 08 2008
Elaine

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I LOVE THIS PLACE!

This has by far been the funniest blog ever. All the best with the book.

You will always remain my most favourite male ranter.

7 08 2008
JG*

SPBH ending is like dude on Scarface’s best friend.
(Havin a hard time with the names)

7 08 2008
7 08 2008
TheChad

ok when D’wayne busted up in the wedding that was monumental for black tv….

why does it seem like that episode never comes on?

Martin and Gina were nothing like that… as a matter of fact.. black tv relationships just ain’t as powerful… they move from person to person… remember when Moesha had all her bf’s at one party and there was like 10 of em? i was like damn the show only been on for like 3 years! ho.

we gotta keep this fb group going…

“AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU.. YOU’RE GONNA LUV MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Cheekie… Well allegedly Martin was taking their “TV Love” a little too seriously. Behind the scenes it was like MArtin Lawrence was really infatuated with Tisha Campbell. Allegedly while they would rehearse ( did I spell that right?) if it was a kiss scene he would REALLY be giving her the tounge on some… Im feelin u shyt. Thats why like during the last seasons she wasnt in the show… the show made it seem she was doing business out of state but Tisha left the show.. she was totally uncomfortable.

7 08 2008
Omar

@TheChad – ummm… Dwayne and Denise were never together…

7 08 2008
Amadeo

J.J. breaking Keith Washingtons leg so he can’t play football anymore and must move into the projects.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

My bad…Keith Anderson.

7 08 2008
TheChad

@Omar

yeah they were…. they dated some on the first season before she dropped out of school. Then she moved back home and married a republican.

7 08 2008
Deesigner

Well Sista Toldja,
I guess well all have to meet up over at your blog.
What’s that url again? (shameless plug)

7 08 2008
Shay-d-lady

Actually that episode came on BET like a month ago…. Yeah that one was classic. I dont know the episode where Martin proposes to Gina with Brian mcknight singing I never felt this way behind the park bench? and the wedding? Quit playing, Martin and GIna are the reason I got married in Jamaica!!! They sure dont have couples like that anymore, shit t.v. like that anymore. Now we can add SBPH to the”they just dont do it the same” list…. AWWW LAWD!! Aint nobody told me Nothin!!!! This is a shame…
WE miss Robert!

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Oh, wow! Thanks for the scoop, Imsoalmondie! Now I’m gonna be all up in syndication looking for hints of her being uncomfortable with their kissy scenes. lol

7 08 2008
Deesigner

*we will*

7 08 2008
Chuck T

Man you gotta be shittin me. this blog is by far the most entertaining daily reading i get. if its affectin your personal life i know a few single freaks in dc just gimme at least 1-3 posts a week and some flowcharts n we even

7 08 2008
Shay-d-lady

Tisha as is full of sh!t, she got married, Ol Boy was like why Martin all up on you like that? He started coming to the set tripping, Martin got all “manly” and was like dude dont run this show, what the hell? and it went down hill from there.

7 08 2008
TheChad

lmao @ “We miss Robert”

7 08 2008
Jeresmom

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! How can it end now!!!!!

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Shay-d-lady…. U aint never lie. Tears still stream down these cheeks when they play that Martin Episode. I think they represented black couples well.

7 08 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHHAHAAH @ Chuck T

7 08 2008
Cheekie

I seriously thought Denise and Dwayne went on ONE date. That one at the Japanese place where Whitley barged in to talk about HERself (as usual) and then Dwayne and Denise kissed again. Wasn’t that the end of that? Is there something I’m missing?

7 08 2008
Esquire

Dead.

On the bright side, I should see an increase in my billable hours. I might be able to go home one day without the sick feeling of being sued/fired for malpractice.

I still am very sad.

7 08 2008
Esquire

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/07/mayor.jailed/index.html

Maybe CNN will provide me with laughter.

I aint hatin on you Chris, shit, you gotta work too.

7 08 2008
TheChad

I think their dates were more of an implied thing… at least in my mind…. they always ended up doin stuff together even when she was “interested” in other dudes (remember the pig nose episode)…

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Ooops, didn’t mean to put “again” after “kissed”. Did they even kiss more than once? I need to catch up on my Different World.

Oh, yeah, I remember the pig nose episode. WHY wasn’t college life like Hillman? WHY?!

7 08 2008
zoso

Think about it. The blog has to go out at its peak. Good call. Plus, y’all should actually do some work anyway 😉

Oh, and whoever recommended Erykah Badu’s ‘I Want You’ citing Lenny Kravitz’s guitar playing at the end yesterday… Thanks. That song’s fucktastic!

7 08 2008
Bajan Girl

no no no no no Baby NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I miss someting?
is this a really late April Fools Joke?
Wah gine on heh? wah de hell is dis madness do nuh?

Seriously though this is a joke right??? RIGHT???

7 08 2008
shabooty

Thanks @Cheekie.

I think the ‘project’ is just that Chris is revamping the popeyes.com restaurant locator.

7 08 2008
tp2

i am sad

>>>>>>>>>see?? 😦

for all the Martin posts, toward the end of the show, she wouldn’t be seen on screen with him. That’s why she was rarely seen when her job xferred. Remember when she came back in town and they kept missing each other at the house? Or when they went on the cruise and Gina got “left” (episode with Lynn Whitfield)…yeah she messed it all up j/k

7 08 2008
Amadeo

If Chris does a Brett Favre…that would mean he’ll say he wants to continue the blog…but would then end up doing commentary on the Stuff White people like book tour.

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@tp2… yes I remember.

7 08 2008
Midnight

uhhhh…this is ending?! i didn’t know it would be coming to an end; did you write that anywhere? ughhh i’m gonna have to remove SBPH from my bookmarks

7 08 2008
sorry charli

ummmmmmmmm……………..what!?
oh, no, chris. this cannot be tolerated.
why???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ugh. i never liked this site anyway….

but i did……………

7 08 2008
Knatural

Since this is the beginning of the end, will you (Chris) lift the ban on certain trolls, i.e. Creole, Somali, the countless others…? Just for drama’s sake?

7 08 2008
JG*

Chris basically just pulled out before letting us cum. Thanks Chris… Thanks.

7 08 2008
sorry charli

i’m not waking up tomorrow morning, and finding that there’s nobody there……………and i am teelling youuuuuuuuuuuu…………

7 08 2008
WO Is WO

HOLD Up HOLD Up !

Chris Brezzy what are you talking about?

JG* Your a Dayum FOOL FOR THAT !

Tell us why it is ending? You cant go way

7 08 2008
Knatural

Ewwwww @ JG*

7 08 2008
tp2

LMAO @ JG*

7 08 2008
Vanita

*Drops and does the ‘they shot Pookie’ roll across the floor*
hahahahahahahahahahaha!

But seriously tho, I feel pretty sad and angry at this new revelation :-/

7 08 2008
shabooty

so much for Roscoe’s chicken and waffles installing a cybercafe in the back.

7 08 2008
Bajan Girl

Damn…

a whole lot of people who are one bucket away are about to go over the edge…

maybe someone at Popeye’s/KFC hijacked the site and is using this as a ploy to increase sales hoping we will drown our sorrows in a two piece and a biscuit or a bucket (depending on how hurt your soul is)…

7 08 2008
Dekela

WTFF?

I’ve been silently reading this blog and its comments from the beginning and its one of the few highlights of my work day….If you take this from me, then someone(s) will have to suffer…..why would you want that to happen Chris?

Not only that, but where am I gonna read outrageous comments from everybody here…. reconsider it man, just don’t do it……

7 08 2008
JG*

Nah… I want the 3 spicy wings combo from Popeyes with the cajun fries, and a biscuit with HONEEEEEYYYYY! MMMMM. I would trade my conjugal visit for some extra Popeyes if I were that dude.

7 08 2008
Vanita

I want the 3 spicy wings combo from Popeyes with the cajun fries, and a biscuit with HONEEEEEYYYYY!

daymun, thats my shit! I didnt know anyone else liked the wings like that, or biscuits with honey. Honey is good on KFC crispy/spicy wings too

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Come on people…pull it together. We’ll end up desperate clingers on while Chris writes to a different audience if this continues.

7 08 2008

::whines:: But chuck norris didn’t say so chris ::pouts::

7 08 2008
tp2

you’d trade sex for Popeyes?? hmm…

7 08 2008
Vanita

OMG!!!! I havent been on mob wars all day!

7 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Imsoalmondie: I’d reccomend thebeautifulstruggler.com 🙂

(Fuck it, call me “The Clean Up Woman”!)

7 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

*puts fork down…and through my heart*

7 08 2008

“Since this is the beginning of the end, will you (Chris) lift the ban on certain trolls, i.e. Creole, Somali, the countless others…? Just for drama’s sake?”

I VOTE HELLS YES!

7 08 2008
Jen

They shot pookie/damn, damn, damn/we miss robert: ALL APPROPRIATE.

How will I make it through 3L year?? Chris has brought 10x more joy to my life than any man I actually KNOW has.

Please be my pen pal! I can’t afford a therapist.

7 08 2008
SCGirl4Life

I’ve been lurking on this blog for awhile. I can’t believe it will all be ending. I am disturbed by this turn of events.

7 08 2008
LEO

Since this is the beginning of the end, will you (Chris) lift the ban on certain trolls, i.e. Creole, Somali, the countless others…? Just for drama’s sake?”

I vote yes too

7 08 2008
vitazza

where r Mrs. Epps, Landon, London ect.????

7 08 2008
TheChad

we need a support group…

and we have to do it ourselves because if we wait on FEMA we’ll all be living in a mud puddle by our desks/cubicles pretending to be sleep so we can shank the nearest white person for bottled water….

George Bush does not care about Stuff Black People Hate…

7 08 2008
STONE

Pwahahahahahahahaha @ Chad, that was right on time!

7 08 2008
Knatural

random: Am I the only person who laughs (uncontrollably) when people accidentally fart in public bathrooms, i.e. your bitchy, prim & proper co-worker pooting in the stall next to you? How old am I?

7 08 2008
Jen

LMAO@TheChad

7 08 2008
Knatural

AAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA@ The Chad. Ass.

7 08 2008
Defiant

Maintaining a daily blog is hard shit it starts as a joke and at least in the case of this site it takes off and you have a following that expects it. I look forward to reading the posts on here everyday as well as the comments it helps me get through my boring ass job. But props to Chris end it while the material is good and leave us wanting more ala Seinfeild styles. Does anyone else know of another blog that I might turn to for a good laugh?

7 08 2008
LEO

@knat, I make (eww that’s nasty) face

7 08 2008
modest-goddess

http://www.crunktastical.net/ is chock full of fuckery and coonery

7 08 2008
Omar

Yall heard Kwame Kilpatrick was arrested…

7 08 2008
g2-5a23f85b40adfb79b9ad56b92de6f198

about time

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Sister Toldja… OK… didnt know u was doin ya damn thing… I will be a regular reader. 🙂

7 08 2008
Esquire

“How will I make it through 3L year??”

You’re supposed to go to class your 3L year?

7 08 2008
Sister Toldja

They shot pookie/damn, damn, damn/we miss robert: ALL APPROPRIATE.

ahahahhahahahah WE MISS ROBERT!!!! AAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

7 08 2008
pyt05

gulp… sniff.. sigh ….

How am I going to make it though my cracker filled, smiling and waving, angry black girl caught on the hamspter wheel day? Chris, you won’t leave us all totally hanging right?

7 08 2008
Imsoalmondie

@ Knatural… WHAT???!!!! I thought that was just me….. LOL! I bust out in a cackle… its too funny to me… I cant hold it in. And I dont care that they know I am laughing. I look down at their shoes…. cuz u know they aint gonna come out the stall toil everyone vacates… so then I actually make it my duty to find those shoes to see who I was laughing at!

7 08 2008
WO Is WO

CrunkTasticl is WACK ! AS HELL I don’t want Clebrity Run down allday! I want the issues discussed in the Angry Black Guy Way ! LMAO

Just How I Like It!!!

7 08 2008
Vanita

Does anyone in here remember blackplanet?

7 08 2008
TheChad

blackplanet is apparently making a comeback… i heard a DJ on my local radio talking about it… but then again my local radio is in Raleigh, NC and we just now learned that FUCK was “apparently” a bad word..

7 08 2008
Vanita

Yes apparently it is…I heard some older people talkin about it…I was CRACKIN up tho! Like, who still uses blackplanet??? But apparently I must be the wack one 😦

7 08 2008
LEO

I remember blackplanet, i still have a page form 2001, and i visit once in six month.

7 08 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Blackplanet was one of the worts things to ever happen to the internet! I guess lame people, pervs, and ugly folks everywhere will now have a resurgence in hookups

7 08 2008
Omar

This reminds me of when I heard there would be no more Chappelle’s Show…

7 08 2008
Knatural

If I hear anything, anywhere, that remotely resembles the sound of farting, I laugh. I’m extremely immature with regard to potty-humor. I need help.

Blackplanet? Gross.

7 08 2008
Angry IV

Hey Chris – any reason for the inevitable Bret Favre style retirement?

7 08 2008
TheChad

i suggest a place where we can comment on the book…. kinda like this after it’s released… somewhere where we can make relevant or not statements oftentimes with humorous undertones… maybe a “social network” of sorts… anyone heard of such a thing?

7 08 2008
Angry IV

Brett*, f*ck.

7 08 2008
Angry IV

@TheChad – join the facebook group.

7 08 2008
Jen

I have a black planet page and I updated it about 8 months ago on a whim because my page featured a picture of me on my 18th birthday and a note that I had deleted all identifying information at the request of my [now] ex boyfriend.

@ Esq – I HAVE to go to class. I have been taking all these sissified 12 credit semesters and now the shit is about to hit the fan. Plus I need to take at least one bar class before I graduate. I think taking BS like Grass Law and Ceiling Fans & the Law may come back to bite me in the ass next summer.

7 08 2008
Knatural

Hey Chris – any reason for the inevitable Brett Favre style retirement?

It rhymes with Delores.

7 08 2008
Defiant

I just joined but I won’t have a clue who any of you are… I just know you guys from your names on here oh well all part of the fun.

7 08 2008
Defiant

** I just joined the facebook group that is…

7 08 2008
Jen

P.S. When I updated my bp page, 99% of the people who had left me messages over the years had since deleted their profiles.

7 08 2008
TheChad

yeah i just joined too… hell, i just found out about it… did i mention i live under a rock?

7 08 2008
Jen

Colores? Menorahs? Escultores? Rigores? I cannot solve this riddle.

7 08 2008
Knatural

Clitoris.
It was a Seinfeld reference…sorry. 😦

7 08 2008
JG*

BlackPlanet! Wow. yes.. I just realized my page on there still exists. What’s a shame is that I’ve been using the same log in info for the past 7 years! LOL Wow.. Chatrooms. Message Boards are the new Chatrooms. Minus the LOLz, and the HeY WhAt’S upPeRz?

7 08 2008
blackberry molasses

now i’m actually going to have to check my brain back in and do some work. Dammit… you really are fuccin with us… right? Please say so… otherwise you will be responsible for me jamming a fork in the back of my hand DAILY to avoid laughing out loud at people i work with

7 08 2008
Jen

I know. I just wanted to make you type it.

7 08 2008
TheChad

lol @ hey whats upperz?

remember the “a/s/l”?

7 08 2008
chaoticdiva

i want fucking taco bell or chili cheese fries. Fuck!

7 08 2008
Knatural

Wait. The FB group had about 180 members last week. Now 232!

7 08 2008
Knatural

You new fools need to introduce yourselves (unless your name is obvious, like “TheChad”).

7 08 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ a/s/l !!

Hey…remember ‘wanna cyber?’

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Ok Im done.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LMAO @ Knat regulating the facebook group.

7 08 2008
Shavonne Nicole

Ok, so Chris is still ending the blog? I’ve been gone for a few hours and this tomfoolery is still true?!
–going back to work–

7 08 2008
BenAfficial

Hey man, WTF? I just got put on to this recently. No more SBPH? What’s next to go? Affirmative action? Popeyes chicken? Negro loving white women? Nooooooooooooooo!

7 08 2008
B4Prez

Maybe Chris joined the Creoles and decided he can’t fuk with us anymore……. he is light-skinnedED, lol

7 08 2008
stuffgirlslike

Sad to hear that you are going out of business or going to open a new Blog, the 100,00o visitors seems to be the retirement water mark, many stuff blogs retired at that, you have more visitors than they.

Look you might as well write once a week and use this blog to leverage your next project. Man Chris I told you to put some adverts a long while back, it would be great residual income.

Someone recommeded Crunk and Disorderly, Black people should stop and think. how they potray themselves on the web I was at Digg They made this video go viral, it has 200000 visitors in one day.

This boy needs to go to school and construct an argument

7 08 2008
Cheekie

ROFL @ a/s/l. Damn, those were the days for real. “Archie and Edith Bunker” style.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Dangit, I really wanna curse Chris for leaving us to run off with Shabooty and start a harem of Asian chicks…but I can’t be mad and ungrateful for all the funnies I’ve had here.

Ya gotta go out on top, I look forward to seeing what’s at the next level.
Stay gold Ponyboy.

7 08 2008
JG*

@BenAfficial:…..well….to your last point..Some things MUST end.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LMAO@ Blackplanet, a/s/l and “wanna cyber”. Lawd they shoulda never given you pervy negroes the interwebs.

That reminds me though, I don’t think I ever actually deleted my BP profile. And I damned sure don’t remember the email account I used or password. Eeewww, I’m skeeved at the thought the profile is still out there, racking up “notes” from Demetrius in Sing Sing.

7 08 2008
Knatural

AAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Demetrius. AOL rooms were just as bad, if not worse. Ewwww. Ahhhh…the days of dial-up connection.
Yeah, I don’t mean to be bossy regarding the FB group, I forget how many lurkers there are. I just like to photo-stalk (who doesn’t). Oh well.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

@ B4

Lightskinned was coming back…this might throw things off track.

@ Doc

Two-Bit wants to go to Texas to look for SBPH.

7 08 2008
InTheSTL

Chris – like Dekela, I have been lurking on your blog for a while. I love it! Needless to say, I’m stunned by the sudden “retirement.” Please reconsider. This is the only thing that gets my through the indentured servitude I call work.

7 08 2008
Defiant

I predict a Stuff Natives Hate website coming soon! It’ll have one aticle of hate entitled “AMERICA” that rant is well overdue.

7 08 2008
Syd

WHHAT?!?!? why?

7 08 2008
former lurker

i think *think* radio one is buying or bought black planet. i read it somewhere in some magazine and remember thinking WTF?!?! BP still exist?!?!?! i haven’t logged in since 2000…

7 08 2008
Jen

I’ma roll with Kanye on the subject of the light skin.

I’ma make sure you light-skinned n*****s never-ever-ever come back in style.

7 08 2008
B4Prez

Crunktastical.net may not be in the running for most politically relevant blog, but it is funny as hell. Instead of just talking about pop culture, she’s usually talking sht about it.

7 08 2008
TheChad

lol @ Defiant.

i give BP credit for being a trailblazer for Myspace and Facebook…. kinda like the black dude that invented the light bulb before Edison… except it was a black light and shaped like a titty…

7 08 2008
Amadeo

If Radio One is buying facebook it can only get worse…as impossible as that seems.

7 08 2008
Cheekie

OMG…AOL chatrooms. I remember I’d get like 50 IMs with “a/s/l” in them before I started turning off my IM to people outside my buddy list.

And dial-up? Man, I was just thinking about that. That annoying sound it used to make. *shivers*

7 08 2008
joy

I’m still laughing at Stuff Black People Hate: Fake Retirements

I feel like crying and running off like Red in “Friday” after Deebo stole his chain.

7 08 2008
Knatural

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH @ TheChad’s Titty Bulb
( . )( . )

Dial-up was herrendous, why it still offered? This is America, dammit!

7 08 2008
Defiant

Has anyone switched to the facebook so called upgrade? That shit is horrible, at least it allows you to switch back if you don’t like.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Sweet Jeebus, my mom JUST switched from dial-up to DSL like, last year. When I visited home I just wanted to cry. And why every time when I was waiting 10 minutes for a picture to download or something, right when it would get to 98% done, my mom would accidentally pick up the phone and kick me offline!

7 08 2008
shabooty

Someone leave a BOC [bucket of chicken] and some CAH [chloroformed Asian hookers] outside of Chris’ door… that’d bring me out of retirement.

(cept i’ll take some hotwings and some li-loh lookin bitches instead).

$

7 08 2008
Defiant

@ the doc is in
Nothing better then high speed porn eh?

7 08 2008
tp2

dial up internet. so sad there are people who still have it…AOL …chat rooms…a/s/l…blackplanet…the scariest days ever when I think about it…

7 08 2008
TheChad

i once met a girl who had a mindspring email address…

i haven’t talked to her since….

7 08 2008
Defiant

My first memory of really getting into the internet was ICQ uhhhohhhhh!

7 08 2008
B4Prez

lol @ lightskinned dudes coming/not coming back….

maybe that’s why Chris isn’t coming back….

7 08 2008
Jen

I still have an aol email addy (among others, obviously). I’ve been online since ’95. Who can beat that?

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Defiant, I just tried that facebrook upgrade. Yeah, mroe like downgrade. The hell is my wall at? Why is it combined with the mini feed? Way too many links and shit to find. I really hope they don’t go with that exact format…you just reminded me to email them about that, too…

7 08 2008
waa

WTF!!!! thats bullshit geroldo! first the fat boys and now this! black people hate stuff black people hate ending….. i’m calling chuck norris

7 08 2008
B4Prez

Dial-up porn sux

7 08 2008
former lurker

facebook always doing something…..

and what the hell is a mindspring email address??

7 08 2008
JG*

I switched to the new facebook. I’m forcing myself to get used to it because I wanna do it on MY terms. LOL I know soon it’l be permanent.

7 08 2008
Knatural

*choke* AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH @ Shabooty! Chloroformed Asian hookers? Ewww. And double-ewww @ Lindsay Lohan. She’s all coked-up and freckley.

And Doc’s Mom having dial-up until last year. Is she panicking about her “TV set”, too. Switching to digital February ’09.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Um….I’ve been using a computer since the days of DOS and printer paper with holes in the side. I can’t even remember what my first email address was.

7 08 2008
JG*

ICQ!! Wow.. I used to be on that hard. Anyone ever use NetMeeting?

7 08 2008
waa

“I feel like crying and running off like Red in “Friday” after Deebo stole his chain.”

@ joy

that’s hilarious right there…..

7 08 2008
joy

I switched to the new FB for about 2 minutes…gave my eyes time to bleed out and for me to find the link to switch back to FB Classic.

7 08 2008
Jen

Doc is not alone. I just got my mom high-speed internet because I was about to have a nervous breakdown trying to use Lexis on dial-up. And she is bitching because it costs $22/mo. WTH?? Dial-up had to have been costing nearly as much.

7 08 2008
Defiant

@ B4 Prez–> Yeah dial up porn does suck but at least it made you appreciate the pic/vid you were watching because you know if you wanted to check something else out you would have to wait another 5 min for the page to load.

@Cheekie–> Yeah just switch back to the regular format. Hopefully they don’t force the “upgrade” on people and make it perminent if they did that would be the end of facebook which isn’t a horrible thing… I remember the days when friends would actually call to say whats up insted of fucking poke me or write on my wall.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Jen,
I’m hardly ever on AIM anymore, but my screen name is the same one I’ve had since high school. I think I started using it in ’96.

7 08 2008
LEO

Anybody here excited about the OLYMPICS starting 2moro

7 08 2008
B4Prez

lmao @ ‘tv set’. I haven’t heard that since the last time I was at my grandmother’s house.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

@ LEO

I’m more excited about Preseason football….I get a tester tonight and the $250,000 crack party is only a few weeks away.

7 08 2008
Jen

Wow, Amadeo, you are far more distinguished than I. I remember climbing on my dad’s desk in his home office and STEALING that computer paper with the holes in the side so I could draw on it with my crayons.

7 08 2008
B4Prez

lol@defiant. Ur right, nothing like having to start over on dial up.

@leo – I’m excited about the Olympics, but not exactly the opening ceremony that starts tomoro…

Then again, Dominique Dawes won’t be there with her gymnastics thong, so, I guess I’m not as excited as I thought.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Defiant – every time facebook makes a change, people get pissed, form “protest groups” and ultimately…suck it up and keep feeding their habit. Remember how the newsfeed was supposed to be the end of it. Y’all might as well just get used to the new layout now, lol. Damn digital crack.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

@ B4

She has a uni on display at the Reginald F. Lewis Museum…everytime I looked at it I lost 15 minutes of time that I can never account for.

mmmmmmmmmmm……Flexible.

7 08 2008
Bajan Girl

@Doc and Jen,
same here… got DSL for my parent’s house last year… dad and little sis are computer freaks.. mom wants nothing to do with and does not use the computer at all…
dial up is of the Devil… I don’t know how we functioned with that back in the day…

7 08 2008
Cheekie

Defiant – Oh, yeah, best believe I switched back to old school Facebook about 5 min after looking at that upgraded hot mess. I know they’re beta testing it now and I was so upset I didn’t even email them right then and forgot about it. Hopefully not too many people dig the new way. Only thing I probably like is that they combine your friends into one network…it don’t need to be 50 different lists of friends. lol

7 08 2008
Defiant

This olympics is going to have some serious issues trumped up by the American media. You mothers owe them money alot of money, this is America’s chance to make them look like shit and they’ll take full advantage of it. I expect riots, reports of human rights violations, bomb scares the works. China is however trying to to clean up it’s image appearently spitting on the street is big there, so now they have little spit buckets everywhere for people to use how sweet is that!

7 08 2008
Knatural

Printer paper with holes in the side? Why was this so much fun? It’s like buble wrap.
I like the Olympics. I admire athletes; I mainly watch Track & Field, Swimming (there’s a couple of colored swimmers this yr I think), and Gymnastics.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

LMAO @ Knat. Nah, moms has always been up on her entertainment system with her 50 billion blu-ray DVD collection. She assimilated into the digital age with the quickness too, now she has the nerve to harrass Verizon every other week because FiOS isn’t available in her hood yet.

I’m embarrassed to say, I’m the one who needed to catch up regarding tv going digital. Since I don’t watch much, I only had a bunny ear tv/VCR combo and no cable! I actually ordered and got the voucher in the mail to buy the converter box! My mom took pity on me and got me a digital tv when I moved. Now with that and cable I can finally watch Project Runway in real time…yay!

7 08 2008
B4Prez

@Amadeo –

Be easy…I am very willing to stab/get stabbed, or shoot/get shot over Dominique Dawes. I still have dreams to ‘put her on a plate, and sop her up with a biscuit’.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

@ B4Prez and Defiant – damn straight dial-up porn sucks. Pictures taking all day to download. By the time the part of the picture with the ballsac starts loading, I’ve already found something wrong with dude’s face and lost interest.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Amadeo –
No shit, this was my first computer:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodore_64

Big ass brick-like disk you jammed into the side of it. I really don’t remember doing anything with it other than playing Meltdown.

7 08 2008
tp2

dial up porn…hmm…i’m sad that you all had to experience that…

7 08 2008
Amadeo

The problem with the Olympics is temporary access to taunt cuties.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

My posts are disappearing, wtf? Is the SBPH matrix slowly being dismantled taking me out first? 😦

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Taut*

7 08 2008
TheChad

lmao @ Doc!

i never got into internet porn.. maybe i missed something?

i think back then i was too busy lookin at pictures of naomi campbell and tyra banks online…

say what u want it was fun as hell

7 08 2008
klysha

Say it isn’t sooooo Chris!!!!!!!!! We never got to take our affair to the next level…I was just about to get to second base and you wanna pull the old I’m out in 10 posts trick….just for that I’m gonna stalk you on the metro….just kidding….maybe……

7 08 2008
BenAfficial

“@BenAfficial:…..well….to your last point..Some things MUST end.”

@JG- too true my dear… I gave them up myself after being sidetracked back in the late nineties… But its always been about the…

http://www.dizzler.com/music/Richie_Spice/Brown_Skin

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Amadeo,

My first computer was a Commodore 64
Please tell me someone else remembers these things! With the big ass brick-like disk you shoved into the side of it.
I don’t even remember using it for anything other than playing Meltdown.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Oooh, and I know you remember computer lab in elementary school…using LOGO on your Apple II to write programs to make the turtle draw a box. High-tech! (Actually that was probably the pinnacle of my career in writing code).

And moving on up to the middle school classics – Number Crunchers, Carmen Sandiego and of course Oregon Trail…shit was brutal, dying from cholera and dysentery and what not.

7 08 2008
B4Prez

Well I had a Packard Bell…..not Hewlett Packard….Packard Bell

7 08 2008
nubnqtndc

DAMN THE OLYMPICS. DAMN THE DIGITAL REVOLUTION. DAMN POPEYES. AND DAMN AOL, FACEBOOK AND BLACKPLANET TO HELL…WTF IS GOING ON?!!?!?!
DID A SISTA MISS A POST SOMEWHERE ABOUT THE APOCOLYPS THAT IS THE END OF THE BLOG WORLD AS WE KNOW IT?!?!
SERIOUSLY…where else am i gonna get tirades of hate-filled candy about pandas, asian women, and beyonce all in the same place? huh? where?!?!
“He don’t love me no moorrreeee” (a la baby boy)
SBPH can suck it! (unless this is a ruse of course–then i’ll go back to happily stalking)
*i be seein you run roun the mall chris–dont make me ack all ward 8 up roun dat joint and come ruff you off while you runnin*

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Ahhhh….commodore 64.

I’m getting old…I still marvel that I have a phone in my pocket. My last pager was so cool.

7 08 2008
B4Prez

Oregon Trail? Did sum1 just say Oregon Trail?

7 08 2008
BK24/7

@ Doc,

I got you beat. Mom’s wouldn’t buy me a C64, so I had a Commodore Vic20! No big ass disc, but an actual cassette deck that made sounds like a modem. It would take 20 minutes to load up any program.

The early Apple programs were classic. Carmen Sandiego was my favorite and I like Lemonade too.

7 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Amadeo (21:11:46) : Ahhhh….commodore 64.
I’m getting old…I still marvel that I have a phone in my pocket. My last pager was so cool.

*Sigh* I have to lug around a pager and a PDA (not like a Treo smartphone mind you…just a plain PDA). Because clearly, when it comes to the business of medicine, you want to be up on the latest and greatest technology of 1992.

BK – Yes! Lemonade – another classic! I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting.

7 08 2008
ViK

http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/2008/06/16/panda-bears/


stuffblackpeoplehate (12:58:39) :

“Quietly, I feel like you were really stretching for a topic today.”

That’s not very quiet at all.

Be advised that I literally have a queue of hate topics that now numbers at 306 – and that doesn’t include my writings about breaking news and current events. I never, EVER stretch for topics. I am just a random and decidedly strange person.

Think you’re retiring? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! After those 306 topics, thankyouverymuch.

7 08 2008
modest-goddess

LOGO on your Apple II: I programed it to draw a rose, clearly I had to much time on my hands.

7 08 2008
Cheekie

THANK YOU, Vik for quoting that. I remember him mentioning that queue of topics several times! Damn, damn, daaamn, Chris!

7 08 2008
Ms. Sula

I haven’t been able to bring myself to write anything…. *sigh, sigh*

I am wearing black…. Wait, shouldn’t we be wearing white for a funeral? See, Chris? There is another topic!

Stuff Black People Hate: Why they gotta wear black for funerals?

7 08 2008
Cheekie

*looks at self*…Damn I’m wearing black, too! I’m in mourning!

7 08 2008
Leo

Where the hell is Chris anyway?

7 08 2008
ViK

I just hope one of those last 10 posts is “Other Black People”

7 08 2008
TomatoHead

You can’t stop writing this blog…maybe you can keep it to one or two posts a week and that’ll be it. I feel like a crackaddict.

And I call BULLSHIT on this “leaving while he’s on top” mess. He said he has 306 topics, he will write those 306 topics, dammit!

7 08 2008
TomatoHead

Oh, and I don’t even remember what my first home computer was called, I was that little. We had a Lion King game for it that doesn’t work on the newer computers 😦

And I remember the little Apple boxes at school. The greenish-black screens and the floppy disk drives. We did typing exercises on them and printed our typing exercises on that god-awful printer paper with the holes and blue dotted lines running down either side.

7 08 2008
Sister Toldja

Ok, so Jen is SUPER gorgeous and chocolatey!

I am going to the gym. And tanning. Good day!

7 08 2008
Amadeo

Co-sign Jen gorgeous chocolatey-ness.

7 08 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

To try to answer some questions that have come up:

Q. Are you really ending the blog?
A. Yes. Unfortunately, it’s not a joke. The last post will be made on Aug 29, and the blog will officially cease on the 31st.

Q. Why are you ending the blog?
A. A number of reasons, foremost among them being that it’s just time.

Q. Do you hate that white people wear black to funerals?
A. Most Indian nations (including mine) regard white as the color of death, so I call it even

Q. Will there be a discussion group for the book?
A. Probably. Since I don’t plan to advertise/market the book, this would probably be the only way to effectively spread the word virally. Look for a discussion board a week or so after the book’s release

Q. Are you going to write another blog?
A. I can’t say ‘never’, but it’s not in the plans as of now

Q. What the FUCK is the other half of the…project…?
A. I can only say that a.) it involves a website that b.) serves a very unmet need of the black community

Q. What’s the book about?
A. I’m saving the details of the book for its release – but suffice it to say that I would recommend buying a copy for as many non-black people as you can

That is all.

7 08 2008
Amadeo

You missed an important question.

Is the book heavy enough to hurt should I have to smack someone with it?

Just in case.

7 08 2008
Ethel

You’re ending the website because it’s time.

It’s time?

Did you go fall in love or something? Is the stuff that black people hate now involve showers of mauve-colored rose petals and being covered all over in puppy-kisses?

Wha happeen?

It’s strange to think I’ll miss some folks I’ve never met, but I will truly miss you. That’s for the education bro.

7 08 2008
ViK

For the nosy curious, – what were the 306 topics?

7 08 2008
Tea

What the freak man?!!!
Damn, I already had a fugged up day, now I come home to this?!
Welp, that’s life. Maybe some of you mofos can actually get some work done now.

It’s been fun, Dude

Q. What the FUCK is the other half of the…project…?
A. I can only say that a.) it involves a website that b.) serves a very unmet need of the black community

Can’t wait to see what it is, I’m sure it will be great.

7 08 2008
Leo

What’s Shabooty wearing on the facebook pic? Skinny geans? oh God

7 08 2008
Leo

I hope there is another Shabooty in here

7 08 2008
ayomidejpw

really, I sooo enjoyed this blog… soo sad. Well good luck with whatever else you do. I ended my blog too but I didn’t have as many visitors as you do, so less sad faces.

There just isn’t enough time in the day to do all you need and want. Have fun with your book and whatever other “project” you got going on.

7 08 2008
nelo

Chris,

I am disappointed the blog is ending. As I nineteen-year-old black San Franciscan, I need a place where I can say horrendous, policitally incorrect things and can guarantee that when someone tries to give my PC colored shit about it, I will have a group of BLACK people to support me. Do you know how rare that is for me?? Super rare.

7 08 2008
Angry IV

I’ve been reading this blog since it came about. This is crazy that it’s ending like months after it started.

Either way, I understand. People have lives, you know – Chris’ income isn’t based on blog posts, haha (not yet at least…?)

Other topics:

The Olympics – f*ck the Olympics. The only reason I’m watching is for USA Basketball to see if they BOLO AGAIN this year or if they bring home the Gold like they’re supposed to.

Preseason Football – your best bet is to watch the first half, and then watch something else….the second half is like the Busch League of Football.

That is all.

8 08 2008
Ms. Sula

… Now that I think about it, my tribe also wears white for funerals…

(and no, I’m not native American… :))

8 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Angry

As the addict I am…I will watch the whole game…the post-game and then check ESPN to see if they mention it…then get on the net tomorrow to see what’s written about it.

BTW…Kyle Boller actually looks alright…dammit…I want to see Troy Smith start.

8 08 2008
Merri Lee

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 08 2008
Merri Lee
8 08 2008
shabooty

dont hate on the thousand dollar denims
😉

8 08 2008
tp2

YAY Troy Smith!!!!

<<<buckeye:)

8 08 2008
Jolie Fatale

i am sad… christmas has been cancelled and the easter bunny is dead

8 08 2008
Jen

Thanks for the compliments, you guys.

By the way, I am open to introductions to your attractive and single Southern friends and cousins. I like men who are taller than me and mathematically, scientifically and/or musically inclined. Thank you in advance.

8 08 2008
Zahara

Did Micheal Clamus find your blog and give you a beatdown or what?

8 08 2008
AQUAblue

Responding to the topic of SBHP ending I just had to respond usually I read the blog and read the comments and lmao.. but today I feel like a used crackead.. Chris is the dealer and got us hooked on that powder”SBPH” and now its all gone.. sniffing.. But the only conclusion I came to was… to use the blink test and get us some real answers.

The Secret Blink Test

LQQN at Chris SBPH can only be ending if….

*Blink once- If the man is behind it and realized too many SBPH black folk wasn’t actually working

**Blink twice- If the man threatens to take your job and order a “Made in China replacement” and thus you couldn’t buy tiles for Native American mosaics.

**Blink three times- If you found a 2520 girl named La La with a black ass that goes into the “gentrified black store” and buys you condoms.

**Blink four times- If you’re picking up Morgan Freeman or God from the hospital in Mississippi and will be out of town starting September 1, 2008.

**Blink five times- If you been laying up with Creole and Somali in your man cave and you don’t know who’s the mother of your ‘illegitimate Alligator bait’

**Blink six times- If you’re planning the games at Creole and Somali baby showers for said ‘illegitimate Piscataway-Conoy Creomali Alligator bait’

**Blink seven times- If you’re the new dancer for ‘the LORD of THE DANCE’ musical since they enjoy your drunken Irish Celtic language.

**Blink eight times- If Shabooty converted you into full moochism and therefore you can no longer buy buffalo and venison but must become vegan and have a fetish for anorexic chicks.

**Blink nine times- If four cougars named Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha and Carrie or ‘Vaginitus Douchebitchicus Caucasus Maximus Quadruplicus’ want you to audition for Sex in the City 2 as the new Uncle Tom for the NY club scene.

**Blink ten times- If you found a natural hair sista, that thought light skin brothers were back in style whose real name is ‘Becky Aunt Jemima Kennedy’.

**Blink eleven times- If you found a 400 lb American woman who can fry chicken wings and make pancakes at the same time but likes Sade.

**Blink twelve times- If you decided to become the President of ‘the Asian Club’

**Blink thirteen times- If you’ve engineered the new triple-wide Segway for your 400lb American wife who can fry chicken and make pancakes at the same time.

**Blink fourteen times If McCain is initiating you into the Republican Party on August 31, 2008 at 11:59 pm.

**Blink fifth teen times- If you decided to give up your nig nog attitude and decided to be a happy black man.

**Blink sixteen times- If you’re the advisor for Paris Hilton and brainstormed her new energy plan and you thought it was hot but her war on terror plan is even hotter.

**Blink seventeen times- If you found an Asian chick named Ming Lee who speaks mandarin gives head and writes calligraphy on your balls all at the same time.

**Blink eighteen times- If you’re adult Algonquin name translates into ‘Skinny Jeans Wearing Man’

**Blink nineteen times- If you decided to go to Grad school for fall semester to become an EBP because you’ve always wanted to be in a GO and Stomp dance.

**Blink twenty times- If your 2520 girlfriend named La La with a black ass wants you to hang with her Persian family at The Georgetown Waterfront and you’ll be using your extra time getting a tan and buying Armani Exchange Shirts, hair gel, Sex Panther cologne because it makes your 2520 pussy goes ‘ooh whee’, greasing your Ferrari jacket and hanging with your new d0ouchebag friends instead of writing SBPH.

To see your face when you read this ughhhhhhh.. Pricelesssssssssss

Chris we still lub you.. 🙂

8 08 2008
Sue

No Chris! Just NOOOOO!

Chuck Norris said you will continue this blog. Whatever Chuck Norris wants, Chuck Norris gets.

8 08 2008
chaoticdiva
8 08 2008
SoCalGal420

For fucks sakes, really? Are you shitting me right now? I admit, I did find your site because of crunktastical.net (shout to Crunk and Disorderly, Miss Honay!) and will continue to be amused by it’s “fuckery and coonery”, but shit man you offered this voice of such seething hatred for the “fuckery” we’re subjected to on a daily basis (including ignorant ass high school kids on the city bus, yes, even in a city as white as Seattle, public transmit will always guarantee an unnecessary confrontation about a “bitch ass nigga dat better quit lookin at me crazy fo’ I fuck dat ass up, muthafucka”, very Donald Goines, ya dig?), I mean, what do we do? I admit to being a little co-dependent on this site for my sanity, I’m not fuckin ashamed, fuck it! 🙂 Well, good luck, seriously…Nelo, I feel you dear; we are both angry Black chicks in “white meccas” therefore no one even dare think that they’re racist or ignorant, they’re “liberal”! (YTs, please see: “White Forgetfulness, “Subtle Racism”, the shit is real, and you are not “cool” b/c your “roomate in college” was Black!)*sigh*

8 08 2008
Nice

Aw Chris, don’t do this to us. I really do enjoy your blog. You are the first blog or anything else that I’ve ever posted comments to on the web. There will seriously be a void without your blog around. I will definatley cop the book. Aw, I’m still sad. I guess the world really is coming to an end in 2012.

8 08 2008
Nice

What else will I have to look forward to after a hards day work?- I’m still sad:(

8 08 2008
mrspen

i have a black skirt set with a white blouse i’ll wear on 8/31.

good for you though to be aware of your limits. you will be SORELY missed.

8 08 2008
mrspen

and oh yeah, i live in Portland and that story is so indicative of why i come to this site for a dose of reality.

8 08 2008
Meka

So let me see if I got this shit right. This blog distracted me from my bar studies & this is the shit I get??! I was just beginning to look forward to wasting my time at work by reading this blog. Ima nicely ask you to reconsider. If that doesn’t work…well all Ima say is that you might want to watch your back. Just kidding…maybe

8 08 2008
DCBlogs » DC Blogs Noted

[…] bad news is that apparently we’ve reached The Final 10 Posts for Stuff Black People Hate but the good news is that’s because there’s a book coming […]

8 08 2008
shabooty

I keep my printout of SBPH.com with me for when im walking thru the hood, as a free get out of robbery pass.

8 08 2008
shesgreen

well ive enjoyed pretty much every post + the conversations in the comments.. lmao at a possible ‘fake retirements?’ post. even though its become second nature to type in the SBPH url, i guess all the fun would have to end sometime…

8 08 2008
chaoticdiva

On a much more serious note than my prior posts, I wish you the best in your future endeavors and with the book. May you be blessed.

8 08 2008
Uninspired Muse

You’re a liar and I don’t believe it 😦

8 08 2008
Jeresmom

I woke up this morning hoping that this post was a bad dream, alas, tis not, now I must cry

8 08 2008
Jeresmom

AquaBlue’s comment had me laughing for 12.5 mins. Still chuckling now

8 08 2008
vitazza

AQUAblue……you should have joined in forever ago …………..that was crazy funny…and for all of you who mentioned that this blog is crack……fo sho!!!!!! idk what?????? I’ll do now on my cummute….haha

8 08 2008
Angry IV

@amadeo – Troy Smith is a black quarterback. He won’t start until all the white quarterbacks on the team have failed, and when he gets in the game, goes 15/20 for 275 yards and 2TDs, the commentators will talk about a “quarterback controversy” and how Troy Smith is still “a question mark.”

I’m still mad at all the hate that Vince Young gets. They were 0-5 with Kerry Collins, Vince Young starts as a rookie and they go 8-8 and miss the playoffs because someone else took the wild card in week 17. COME ON.

8 08 2008
Loudmouth Protestant

What? You’ve got to be kidding. So you’re going to love us and leave us all willy nilly? I’m highly dissapointed because I was just thinking about how you outlasted SEBP Like and now you’re leaving. Way to mess up our mornings. I hope whatever you’re doing is worth leaving us all in the dark. I feel used.

8 08 2008
ishouldbeworking

@ The Doc–I was slowly getting over the inevitable loss of SBPH until I read your quote from The Outsiders . Now I’m all sad again.

My first computer was an Atari (yes, an Atari computer) that used a “TV set” as the montior. I think it used the same cartridges as the Atari game console that came out a little later. Oh, and I loved “Computer Day” at school when we used those Apples with the monochrome screens and floppy disks were actually floppy.

8 08 2008
Jeresmom

I recently had a friend come over to use my computer. He needed to apply to some jobs and had his resume on a hard disk. He was looking for some place to put it. I looked at him like WTF? Have you never heard of a flash drive? I was laughing so hard, I think i hurt his feelings

8 08 2008
Vanita

I woke up this morning hoping that this post was a bad dream, alas, tis
not, now I must cry

Ditto 😥
I really wish you the best, What Im gonna miss most is the way you speak your mind with out giving a ‘flying fuck’ about who you offend.

8 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Angry

“It’s about the fear of the potency of the Black Man’s Balls”
Martin Lawrence

8 08 2008
Vanita

People:
OREGON TRAIL DAY.
That lazy friday during state testing, or the rainy day. or the day before the holiday break? YES.
I remember getting mad as hell if one of my family members died…and if you recovered from a disease, you were good. But I always paid an Indian guide to help me across the river. I always successfully crossed too.

8 08 2008
Jeresmom

Oregon Trail was the shit. where are they games like that for these kids now. I would love to find that on the internet for my son to play

8 08 2008
Vanita

Viva Pinata is a good game.
My cousin has it (well had it cuz I stole it)

sidenote: Im looking for the video of the opening ceremonies because it (should) have happened already. But I was on the official beijing olympics web site and I must say that the country is REALLY trying hard to emerge as one of the worlds leaders. Trying though, because I imagine there are things they cannot broadcast over the internet so I feel like Im only getting a one side story of the opening ceremonies. But the pictures look INCREDIBLE.

8 08 2008
LEO

Why is the olympics in China anyway, cause they can’t even play any (that i know of) sport.

8 08 2008
klysha

As sad as I am about the end of our secret (even to you) love affair, when the book comes out I will be purchasing a copy. Gotta support my fellow black and Native American people. Best of luck in all your endeavors.

http://www.mysixcents.wordpress.com

8 08 2008
Knatural

Hi. RANDOM: I dreamt last night that SBPH was a talk show hosted by Chris, but all of the question came from SBPH “regulars”. The show’s first guests were Beyonce, her mom, and her sister, Solange, who was eight months pregnant.
They all wore matching mermaid-esque turquoise satin dresses a la The Supremes. They sat on a rotating circular stage while Muse, Jen (since I now have a face to match the persona), Sister Toldja, Amadeo, Doc, et al. grilled them about being whitewashed and having a tacky clothing line.
Beyonce started crying uncontrollably. Tina Knowles (sp?) folded up into the fetal position and Solange somehow went into labor, had the baby in like 10 seconds, and the baby looked just like Shabooty – wearing shades. Weird.

8 08 2008
JG*

Aww I feel like y’all are my family. And every time I see Knatural’s Avatar.. I laugh a little.

8 08 2008
Bajan Girl

@AQUAblue…
LMAO at that… where have you been all this time?

Oregon Trail.. ahhh the memories…

Chris – may everything that your hands touch be prosperous and raise you to higher heights. I patiently await the release of the book and the culmination of “the project”…

but my soul is still hurting right now… sigh… now I may have to road trip to DC and take up stalking… I kid (maybe… maybe not)

8 08 2008
vitazza

hahahaaa @ Knat’s Dream

8 08 2008
Jen

@ Knatural – I literally laughed aloud at that. But, I couldn’t do that to my girl Bey. Or Solange, really. Their hair is a little (okay, A LOT) misled, but Beyonce’s last album was joy on wax and I am convinced that Solange’s first single (despite her lacking vocals) was the most perfectly composed pop song to be released in the past year.

Please don’t spam my FB wall with messages of hate and disgust.

8 08 2008
Amadeo

@ Knat…was there a band?

8 08 2008
Knatural

AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH JG*
The little Ebola monkey? Since I was little, I’ve loved monkeys/apes; then I found out that according to the Chinese zodiac I’m born in the Year of the Monkey!

In the dream, I didn’t even ask any questions, I just observed quietly. Muse and Sister Toldja were the most vocal. Chris also didn’t say anything and had one of those 60s gameshow skinny microphones that he kept shoving in Beyonce’s face. He also wore high-water pants. It was extremely vivid!

8 08 2008
Bajan Girl

Knat… wtf?
this was one hilarious dream missy…
what did you eat/drink before you went to bed???

8 08 2008
Knatural

ahahaha…Italian food.

8 08 2008
Bajan Girl

damn.. must have been some good stuff for dreams that vivid and detail oriented…

8 08 2008
JG*

Knat:

When I was little. I wanted that monkey as a pet. No lie. I begged my mom for a spider monkey.

8 08 2008
Justin

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

8 08 2008
Knatural

I wanted that monkey as a pet, too! They can open bottles, and flip light switches…
And they can wear clothes, and diapers. *sigh* One day.

My dreams are always pretty vivid, this one was special though.

8 08 2008
The Doc Is In

Knat, in undergrad I used to work with cotton-top tamarins. Those were the cutest little monkeys EVAR!

Oh, and I’m mad at you blabbing about last night’s Operation: Creole Kaput. You know that wasn’t a dream…

8 08 2008
AQUAblue

@jeresmon: lmao your welcome for the 12.5 minutes of humor. I laughed harder every line I wrote.

@BajanGirl: I’ve been here lmao.. too lazy to write.. ahh I’m gonna miss you guys already.

8 08 2008
Bajan Girl

“I wanted that monkey as a pet, too! They can open bottles, and flip light switches…
And they can wear clothes, and diapers. *sigh* One day.”

You’re special… in a good way.. 🙂

@AQUAblue.. well we will just have to make the most of the time that remains…

8 08 2008
alex

NOOOOOOO.
What the hell am I supposed to do to procrastinate during morning classes when this is over?

8 08 2008
nubnqtndc

i’m not missing anybody and there are NO well wishes for chris
EVERYBODY CAN SUCK IT!! (i’m having a kathy griffin kinda week) still…seriously SUCK IT!!!
this is the most i’ve posted since i been in this damned place and nobody is taking my hatred, pain and anger away by being all supportive and shith
SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT
chris…may you walk through barry farms, trinidad and sursum corda wearing your full dancing regalia pushing a moped with no gas

8 08 2008
Lala

Well I’ve been reading the blog for awhile and dying laughing at the blogs and the comments, so I’m sad to see it go…=(

9 08 2008
Angryblackchick

Fuckin bullshit!!! BULL! SHIT! gotdamnit!!

bullshit!!

arhgh..

9 08 2008
Angryblackchick

did i mention this is bullshit!?

its fuckin bullshit!!

I want my mommy..

9 08 2008
ladebelle

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i don’t understand!!!! why would you no longer want to share your utter brilliance with us??!?!?!?

9 08 2008
riz

i’m super sad at this news, but to be honest, I think it’s best to quit while ahead. It’s like if your favorite tv show goes on for too many seasons, it’s not as good. So, as Seinfeld says, “End on a high note!”

9 08 2008
lola gets

Im a little pissed off that I wont see my photo in the Hall of Rage!
😦

L

9 08 2008
london

you lie!
you cannot do this…
wishing you all the best with the book but damn chris…
give us the blog….

10 08 2008
slimjackson

Damn, I just got into this blog and realized it’s coming to an end soon. That sucks.lol. Well, as one blog ends, another blog begins. Check out my newly launched blog at http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com. And no, it’s not porn!

10 08 2008
Muse in Egypt

omg I leave the damn country with limited internet access and when I peak in on my favorite website, I find out the author is quitting?! What did you Negros do while I was gone?! dammit!

11 08 2008
imaG

Chris is G’ed up.

http://www.anythingblack.net

11 08 2008
Dynamic Diva

UM?!! I go away for a few days and this happens?!

😦

11 08 2008
Neicy

Welp…. 😦

12 08 2008
Mrs.Epps

what the flying fuck?

17 08 2008
AmeliaB

Oh well, back to blognigger full time…

We’ll miss you

17 08 2008
I'm here

DAMN!! He had to be black!! *smh*

NOOOOO! I’m sad I was just getting the hang of this blogging thing *tear*

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