Aside: Stupid Comments

30 07 2008

I received the following comment in the ‘Why You Shouldn’t Read This Blog’ page today:

Although I think your blog is pretty funny and I do look into it almost every day, you should take it easy on ranting about people of other ethnic backgrounds -such as Europeans and Asians. You don’t know enough about foreign countries to do that and your rants are less sarcastic as you wish, they are sometimes just ignorant and insulting. And “Why you shouldn’t read that blog” is not an excuse.

Before you write something, think how you would feel if you read something similar about black people. For example, exchange the word “persian” in your persian threat with “african-american” and reread it. Would you still laugh about it, it is ok. Would you feel offended yourself, then you should not write it. Pretty logical.

Having said this, I like most of your others posts and the humor.

Any regular readers of my blog know that I get stupid comments all the time from people of all walks of life. For some reason, however, this one struck me as particularly ludicrous, and I feel compelled to rip it apart piece-by-piece.

Although I think your blog is pretty funny and I do look into it almost every day, you should take it easy on ranting about people of other ethnic backgrounds -such as Europeans and Asians.

Why the hell do so many people assume that I give a flying fuck about what they think I should or shouldn’t be writing? Seriously, dude…why? Despite the fact that this blog became popular completely by accident, I am well aware of three things: 1.) this blog didn’t become popular by me tip-toeing around people with bleeding hearts and sensitive backsides, 2.) this blog didn’t become popular by me listening to the insanely arbitrary opinions of people carrying on about what I should or shouldn’t write, and 3.) I do not care how popular this blog is or isn’t (if I did, I wouldn’t have alienated 80% of my reader base with the ‘Black Women’ aside.)

Please please PLEASE shut the hell up about what I should or shouldn’t we writing about.


You don’t know enough about foreign countries to do that and your rants are less sarcastic as you wish, they are sometimes just ignorant and insulting.

The first clause of this sentence is perhaps the most infuriatingly hypocritical thing I’ve read in months. The author claims on one hand that I shouldn’t attack cultures I [supposedly] don’t know anything about, while at the same time attacking me as if she somehow knows enough about me to be qualified to argue what I do and do not know about other countries.

I suppose that since she’s read the title pages for the blog, she figures she’s a certified ‘knower’ of who the fuck I am. If the bar for knowing someone is set that low, then I am more than qualified to talk shit ad infinitum about – using her example – Asians and Persians.

Most of my best friends are Asian, as is one of my ex-girlfriends whose parents are native-born Chinese. I learned enough Mandarin to speak almost conversationally with her mother who barely spoke a lick of English. I can also greet people and swear in both Vietnamese and Korean. I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.

As for Persians, they’ve been marrying into my family for years. I have a near and dear Persian cousin in law named Arrash whom my Persian article describes in vivid detail. At any of my family’s gatherings, you will find between 6 – 20 Persians struggling to choose between lamb kabobs, pork ribs, and deer steaks.

If she can know anything about me from my blog, then I’m qualified to write a fucking dissertation on Asians and Persians.

As for whether or not my posts are sarcastic…it’s not my problem if everyone doesn’t get my sense of humor. I am not running for President, and I don’t give a a flying motherfucking fuck if my sarcasm gives certain people, or even most people, indigestion. Don’t like it? LEAVE. Don’t get it? LEAVE. If you think I’m seriously racist or ignorant, then I’ve got news for you – there are bigger fish for you to fry. I get the feeling that if these motherfuckers were actually interested in changing the attitudes of real racists, they’d roll their soap box on over to the KKK website and ‘kick some knowledge’ there. But they don’t, because they’re far less interested in enacting social change than they are in hearing themselves talk and beating off to their own pseudo-intellectualism.


And “Why you shouldn’t read that blog” is not an excuse.

I love how she tacked this on at the end almost as an afterthought. She’s right though – it’s not an excuse, because an excuse is something you use to justify something wrong or inappropriate. I need not justify my blog, because there is nothing at all wrong about it. ‘Why you shouldn’t read this blog’ is intended to dissuade the ranks of the humorless from reading my blog. It’s one of the few written pieces on my site that ISN’T a joke. The point of it isn’t to coyly entice people to read more of my site – the point is to say “get the fuck off my site if you can’t laugh at yourself,” and I am completely serious about that.

If you read this warning, then read my posts and get offended anyway, you are a fucking idiot. You cannot follow simple instructions. You probably have burn scars on your hands from when your mom told you not to touch a hot stove and you did it anyway. It’s not my fault that you refuse to listen.


Before you write something, think how you would feel if you read something similar about black people. For example, exchange the word “persian” in your persian threat with “african-american” and reread it. Would you still laugh about it, it is ok. Would you feel offended yourself, then you should not write it. Pretty logical.

Now this jerkoff has the nerve to talk about me like I’m a fucking five year old. She has the nerve to talk ‘logic’ with a trained engineer. She also has the nerve to act like Black people have no idea what it’s like to be ridiculed. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, LADY?!?!?!?! How would I feel if I read something offensive about Black people? Is there anything about this site that implies that I DON’T watch the news everyday?

Let’s answer your question directly, though: If I went to a site run by a white guy with close black friends that featured an 800-word essay explaining that the site was a joke, and consisted of ferociously over-the-top posts bashing just about every ethnic group on the planet including mine and his…I would laugh my fucking ass off.

I guess you wouldn’t. Here’s some logic: Sucks to be you.


Having said this, I like most of your others posts and the humor.

Yea? Fuck yourself.

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268 responses

30 07 2008
Alph Dapalf

I don’t think she’s going to like this post at all. Not one bit.

30 07 2008
Alph Dapalf

after thought –

lol

30 07 2008
Monique

damn i wanted to be first!

30 07 2008
stuffgirlshlike

First!!

Anyway these people who spread hate on the web ought to stop, okay you told him why he should not read this blog, there are people telling me that my blog is too stereotypical, yes this is a humor blog of course it will be brod brashing.

I had your friend from Men are better than women emailing me telling me to stop writing my url at the bottom of my ments, he has always been a miserable so and so.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

30 07 2008
BigBlackGuy3

Let it go, dawg. Some people feel the need to say stuff like “how would you feel?” or “Would you like it if…” or “Imagine if you…” The doctor says my blood pressure is elevated so I try not to get as mad as you did. I think I’ll just visit the Cheesecake Factory today and buy a couple of reduced-priced pies and shove cheesecake slices into people’s mouths when they get pseudo-intellectual. Hopefully one of two things happen : they die from asphyxia or die of diabetes.

30 07 2008

awww someones feelings got hurt. Well it won’t be the first or the last time move on sweetie. Don’t take it that serious!

30 07 2008
Omar

Persians eat pork ribs??… I never knew that apparently this site is also educational.

30 07 2008
ThatWhiteGangsta

Oh no you didn’t *snaps fingers*

30 07 2008
Monique

ok, now that i have read todays post in its entirety and have stopped crying with laughter. i have to say this woman is hilarious! your points are right on i especially like:

“roll their soap box on over to the KKK website”

Its your blog, its your opinion and your experience. There is nothing wrong with that. I hate when people tell me what and how to think. Stupse!

30 07 2008
ayo

STBH: Say what you like. Its your site. You already have parents anyway.

But, um… please explain how this shyt happened: “I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.” Did you tell them you were 1/2 asian and foresake your native american ancestry??? ROTFL!!!!

30 07 2008
TheChad

“because they’re far less interested in enacting social change than they are in hearing themselves talk and beating off to their own pseudo-intellectualism.”

that accurately describes just about EVERY fake ass pseudo-intellectual i know….

i’m quoting this somewhere, but i will credit you.

the truth comes to the light!

30 07 2008
Knatural

I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.

AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA….AHAHAHAHHA

[don’t ban me]

30 07 2008
Roger

“that accurately describes just about EVERY fake ass pseudo-intellectual i know….”

I HATE fake-ass pseudo-intellectuals. The worst ones are ones with a PhD behind their name. Many is the time I go to a conference and listen to some fellow doctorate-holder spout some goddamned NONSENSE drenched in twenty dollar words. All it takes is a well-placed question and their nonsense falls apart. Then there’s the Pro-Black Radical pseudo-intellectual: he (and it’s usually a he) is bullshit wrapped in Traditional African Garb festooned with dreds and smelling of Egyptian Musk…and bullshit. They’re all Kwame Nygame Obatula Spatula…and we all know their real name is Roy Jackson.

30 07 2008
Cheekie

“I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.”

I have this strong desire to see THAT yearbook picture. And I’d really love to know how you pulled this off. Love it.

I’m also waiting for the person who posted this comment to come complain about one of your entries regarding her complaint about one of your entries. It would be the Circle of Life.

30 07 2008
Tea

Part of me enjoys watching these foolios get torn apart, but the other part of me worries about your health. Seriously, this blog cannot be good for your health because the shit people come up with is just… Hell I can’t even put a name to it. And they are not going to stop either.

30 07 2008
ayo

I would pay money to hear you speak Mandrian. Really, you should put some audio up on that.

30 07 2008
Nichole

“…I don’t give a motherfucking fuck…” LMAO
This is my first time posting since discovering your blog 2 months ago, but that was so funny I had to say something. Thanx for making me laugh today and see you all tomorrow.

30 07 2008
Felinda

She just doesn’t get….I’m Asian and i don’t get offended when i read about “Asian”. I don’t care what people think of me, If i care, i would just be one of those idiots that take everything seriously…

30 07 2008
Amadeo

Typing angry dissertations on the internet is good for you…just like if I couldn’t kill people on Xbox 360 I might be a danger to society.

I have an idea…the next time someone complains ask them how many shares of your site they’ve purchased….it takes 51% to run things.

30 07 2008
TheChad

That’s why i don’t like talking to EBP’s often…. every conversation is waaaaaay to intellectual. it’s like they graduated from college and threw their sense of humor out with the dorm futon.

being 22 with a degree don’t make you grown…

talking about politics don’t make you smart…

sushi night and poetry readings don’t make you mature…

30 07 2008

i’d give up mob wars to hear him talk in mandarin

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

The broad that wrote that email needs to go eat a bag o’dick with Superhead and Johnny Gill.

30 07 2008

rev that was johnny gill

30 07 2008
Shavonne Nicole

I love that people take blogs so seriously… I mean, really? Like this isn’t full of (oft times, funny and true) his excerpts from his life and his dealings? You’re getting upset because you’re reading someone else’s thoughts and you take them to heart? You should try not breathing while you’re at it and see how that works out for you since you’re getting soooo upset by his opinion.

Tiny Dummies–they make the world go round.

30 07 2008
brran1

How many times have you said that this is all in humor? Regardless of that, how many idiots out there don’t get the fact that this is all humorous. She apparently mistook your fancy dance costume for a hooded robe.

Idiot.

30 07 2008
Bailey Blues

“I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.”

HAHAHAHAHA!!! How did you get to be this??? Please explain!

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

That was one reason why I stopped fucking with Stuff Educated Black People Like, b/c all the ‘educated’ folks on there would get all righteous and sanctimonious…”Well I’m educated, and I don’t do these things” or “So does this make you better than me?” or “Why don’t you talk about this subject or that subject?”. All that damn whining from the comment board was really annoying. Someone finally decided to create their own website with more serious subject matter when they realized the webmaster wasn’t paying them any attention, but no one reads it though…

30 07 2008
Sister Toldja

““I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.”

I would have hated your motherfucking guts! That made me think back to the Black Asianphiles and Latino-culture-enthusiasts at my high school who wouldn’t piss on the African American Culture Club were we on fire! Just goes to show you how people aren’t always what you think they are. I wonder how many cool people I wrote off (or who wrote me off) based on stuff like that.

Love how this chick decided to skip the dialogues of the comment section and go straight to “I’m gonna tell YOU how to write on YOUR blog, which I chose to read, instead of me getting a blog of my own to express my values”.

blogger.com
wordpress.com
myspace.com

They free. Go get you one and shut up.

30 07 2008
Tea

I don’t know Amadeo. It helps to a point but these morons just don’t stop. This blog is full of people getting shut down for the same exact shit and there’s always another waiting in line. When people don’t follow directions I prefer to ignore them and let them learn the hard way. I get tired of talking after a while so either it gets physical (rarely) or I completely ignore people. These Moros must have brain damage or maybe they like the abuse.

30 07 2008
Amadeo

I was a chronic weed smoker and the President of SHOP (Students Helping Other People)…we spoke to middle school kids about the dangers of drugs…my friend who I smoked with was president the year before me…

Vice president of the Asian club tops that.

30 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Off topic:

DC single ladies, go get him: http://www.essence.com/essence/dorightmen/bio_gerrenprice.html

I love a man who love the kids!

30 07 2008
Esquire

I love when people say shit like…”How would you feel?”

She also has the nerve to act like Black people have no idea what it’s like to be ridiculed. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, LADY?!?!?!?! How would I feel if I read something offensive about Black people? Is there anything about this site that implies that I DON’T watch the news everyday?

Is it bad that I feel like Im in church everytime I log on? PREACH Rev. Chris.
mmmhahaha.

30 07 2008
B4Prez

She’s probably Creole!

*Gives side-eye at Chris being VP of the Asian Club* I need proof.

30 07 2008
TomatoHead

Gerren Price has the Douche Smile…

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

God, wait till we hit 100 comments, cause I GOT to link this story and see what ya’ll think. I’m not one to enjoy other people’s misery, okay, nevermind, yes I am, BUT the people I read about deserve the donkey of the year award.

30 07 2008
Breez

I just lived something very similar to this less than a week ago. I may or may not have said on someone else’s blog that the subject of the post looked like a pre-op transexual. Next thing you know, I’m transphobic. Didn’t even know that was a fucking word.

Sorry, but if the mere suggestion that someone looks like a tranny is enough to get your knickers in a twist, lopping off your balls and inverting your package is PROBABLY not the move for you.

For example, exchange the word “persian” in your persian threat with “african-american” and reread it. Would you still laugh about it, it is ok. Would you feel offended yourself, then you should not write it. Pretty logical.

I was asked how would I feel if someone said that something was a “Breezy” thing to do whenever someone did something stupid. I believe in free speech, and you have the right to say whatever you want. I would, however, caution such a person to think about how they would feel when a 9th Ward chick with an Intelius account is at their door beating the monkey shit out of them.

30 07 2008
Lt Worf

I was president of my Jewish Kabbalah club even though Im a German Neo Nazi

30 07 2008
30 07 2008
Amadeo

Gerren Price has the Douche Smile…

Why the hell is hold a bottle of bubbly?

“D.C. Public…Ballllllllin”

30 07 2008
TheChad

the only thing worse than an e-thug is the anonymous e-thug….

like “i know i’m probably hundreds of miles from you dude, BUT as an added precaution i will NOT under any circumstances reveal my USERNAME!”

dicks.

30 07 2008
AG

some people clearly have way too much times on their hands …

30 07 2008
Vanita

Why the hell do so many people assume that I give a flying fuck about what they think I should or shouldn’t be writing?

ROTFL!!!!

30 07 2008
B4Prez

lol@amadeo

30 07 2008
JaBe

Chris,
Somebody somewhere is seriously bent outta shape over today’s aside.

Roger,
lol at …bullshit wrapped in Traditional African Garb festooned with dreds and smelling of Egyptian Musk…and bullshit. They’re all Kwame Nygame Obatula Spatula…and we all know their real name is Roy Jackson.

“Obatula Spatula” is what will get me thru this mid-week/ midday lull.

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

the only thing worse than an e-thug is the anonymous e-thug….

like “i know i’m probably hundreds of miles from you dude, BUT as an added precaution i will NOT under any circumstances reveal my USERNAME!”

dicks.

Or when folks on YouTube post their real address or telephone number talking about, “I live at 123 blah blah blah Street If you want me come and get me” Lame asses. Too many psycho fucks in this world to be calling someone’s bluff like that.

And there was this group of girls that did a song on YouTube talking about “those Hatin ass Bitches on MySpace”.

30 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ the person when they come to visit the cite today and see they are the subject of the post!!!!! Their feelings would be EXTRA hurt and they would need to scrape they face off the floor! LMAO!!

30 07 2008
Vanita

I meant ‘site.’

30 07 2008
TheChad

i like to pretend that all anonymous rants and angry emails come from the same person… genderless, colorless, lifeless representative of anyone who’s ever been offended anywhere ever….

i call it “Secret Boy”…. or girl.

30 07 2008
Alph Dapalf

This is late but…not really cause it’s never too late to indulge in a little boasting.

“haha” at all whom I have foiled in their quests for first comment of this here aside.

that is all.

30 07 2008
Amadeo

I like to blame anonymous posts on George Bush.

30 07 2008
Mystique P

HAHAHAH, Chris I so love the way you turn words. Everything you said was point-on and rightfully said. By definition, a blog is an opinion piece. WTF the reader think she was getting into? I very very much wish that person to comment on this page, just get the reaction. PS, your site is a bright light in a day of monotonous computer screen staring.

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Dying @ “Obatula Spatula”

People never cease to amaze me. And her point was?

30 07 2008
petesmama

Hi, I’m a strong black woman from Kampala, Uganda. I love your blog. Been reading it for ages but have never been provoked to comment till now. Just saying I hate self-appointed amateur blog police who go about trying to restore some kind of moral balance where they are obviously not wanted. There have been some on my blog recently.

I also hate it when everyone else not resident in Africa assumes that this continent is one big country. Because we don’t have “nukelar” weaponry we sort of look up to you people. Then you spoil it all with ignorant questions about whether Uganda borders South Africa. Or whether we live in trees.

30 07 2008
The Doc Is In

Ooooh, good looking out ST.

I wonder how tall he is though…

(LOL!)

30 07 2008
Kraig

Chris,

Why are you even entertaining her non-sense? To be honest, her reply didn’t really warrant a response from you. Her initial reply was simply reeking of stupidity and hypocrisy, thus exposing her for the simpleton that she is. Keep up the good work and continue to humor us with your unforgiving insight.

30 07 2008
4m_no_2_dc

Chris,

you have to get sick of this shit!!!!!

“Having said this, I like most of your others posts and the humor.”

so does she like the hall of rage??? cause if you take away talking about race on this site, thats whats gonna be left.

i bet her ass laughed at shit concerning blacks on this site.

what black people has she been around to say what a black/native american man should or shouldn’t say?!?!?!?!

fuck the haters, Chris!!!! FUCK THE HATERS!!!!!

30 07 2008
Knatural

Uh…why is Gerren Price holding a Bottle?

30 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Knat

Cause D.C. Public schools be ballin..

30 07 2008
Omar

Of all the ignorant black men to choose from why the hell did Essence choose their first do wrong man to be Lebron James.

What he got caught speeding and took a picture with a white woman what brother hasn’t…??

http://www.essence.com/essence/dorightmen/dowrongmen-week1.html

30 07 2008
Muse

GERREN PRICE, and TJ HOLMES from CNN could get it all day and everyday…ooo weeee I love men Jesus.

Anyway back on topic, I’m so sick of these lame ass cunts who feel the need to share their irrelevant opinion about Chris’ blog. Notice how the writer of the note specifically indicated that she/he had a problem with Chris talking about Asian and Europeans. It’s almost as if she was implying that he is more than welcome to make fun of color folks. Maybe I’m reading too much into it?

Gawd I need a vacation. Seven more days before I’m in Egypt.

30 07 2008
ayo

How is essence going to do a Do Wrong Men segment w/lebron james? This is so wrong on so many levels. Then he is up there with TI, OJ & RKelly??? GTFOH!

30 07 2008
Breez

@Muse, I agree with your assessment. Why is it that they should somehow be exempt?

30 07 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHHAHA @ Omar. For real!
Amadeo – sike!
Muse – bring me some sand…and don’t let those opportunistic Africans take advantage of you.

30 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Omar- Are you kidding? The Vogue cover was enough! Shows you that, in his lack of outrage about it, that he doesn’t have half a brain. He’s another idiot-ass 40-million-dollar slave, and driving 101 MPH is a very big deal.

Hell, not all the Do-Right men are that outstanding, they just good guys (ahem, allegedly. I can name one from last year who is a bad person, but moving on). You don’t have to be a child molester to be a “Do Wrong Man”.

Fuck, god forbid someone hold a Black man accountable for his actions. “Hey, he’s a good person! He’s RICH, for Christsakes!”

30 07 2008
Amadeo

Damn…a brother take one picture…why they not getting on his mother for trying to get all on court…or giving him props for telling her to sit the hell down?

30 07 2008
Knatural

Gerren Price looks like he may have hips…

30 07 2008
Muse

Ladies we do need to step up our standards. It’s so sad when we get excited over a Black man who isn’t in prison, dumb, or have a bunch of bastard children running around. Black men are SUPPOSED to be handling their business. It’s like giving a guy credit for being a damn father. That’s not impressive accolade in my opinion. You’re supposed to be a father to your children. My parents never get excited when I brought home an A. Their mentality is that my job is to perform in school.

30 07 2008
stuffgirlslike

Rev Leon Lonnie Luv (16:28:50) :

That was one reason why I stopped fucking with Stuff Educated Black People Like, b/c all the ‘educated’ folks on there would get all righteous and sanctimonious…”Well I’m educated, and I don’t do these things” or “So does this make you better than me?” or “Why don’t you talk about this subject or that subject?”. All that damn whining from the comment board was really annoying. Someone finally decided to create their own website with more serious subject matter when they realized the webmaster wasn’t paying them any attention, but no one reads it though…

Rev ronnie Luv was Stuff Educated Black People Like your website? That Site needs to be back in motion. Whoever has was editing that site, lost an opportunity.

Look on the internet people are serious haters, I have had to ban people from some of my blogs because they are full of hate. It is not hard to start a website.

You see the cat who was running Stuff College Students Like went he started the English Fail Blog just because people were saying he is a copycat. No he saw a gap and took advantage- it is called opportunism and it is good.

Stop hating and start your own blog, and then get people to read it.

I wonder how many stuff like blogs are still updated?

30 07 2008
sarah

wow Chris, you mad huh? i’ve never seen so many grammatical errors 🙂

30 07 2008
Omar

@ST – The man is poorly informed, not nearly sinister in any way nor does he degrade women. Hey me and most of the guys I know have gone over 100 mph in Cars and Motorcycles. He is hardly in a class with Bob Johnson, Jesse Jackson, Michael Jackson Ward Connerly, Clarence Thomas, Al Sharpton (for having a perm) the whole 106 and park top 10, Snoop, Nelly and many others I could name but if I tried I would get carpal tunnel.

The man does one wrong thing and suddenly he is the top do wrong man. Almost every guy has gotten a speeding ticket and he took one picture that portrayed a negative image and he is the do wrong man. I bet they won’t put neither Michael Jordan nor Tiger Woods white women chasin’ behinds on the list.

30 07 2008
Bajan Girl

“It’s like giving a guy credit for being a damn father. That’s not impressive accolade in my opinion. You’re supposed to be a father to your children. My parents never get excited when I brought home an A. Their mentality is that my job is to perform in school.”

THANK YOU!!!!

30 07 2008
eysqueen

this made my day! i believe about 20% of the population get your humor. I include myself in that 20% and this shit right here makes my sardonic ass feel not so alone. Thanks!

30 07 2008
Muse

Bajan girl it must be a Caribbean/West Indian thing. In my family if you aren’t a doctor, lawyer, banker, or engineer you better be doing something else that’s outstanding for anyone to even blink an eye. My dad is the first one to clown. He thinks that certain occupational choices are irrelevant and don’t contribute to society.

30 07 2008
Breez

I thought that what Lebron did was ignorant and quite ill-informed. When an individual is in the spotlight, they are responsible for looking at the big picture. That being said, I also don’t see that what he has done makes him one of the premier “do wrong men” (whatever the hell that means).

Of course, I should also mention that I despise Essence, so they could have chose bin Laden and I still would have been like, “these muhfukkas.”

30 07 2008
Knatural

Thank you Omar! Honestly, I didn’t realize the cover was ‘racist’ until THE MEDIA told me.

30 07 2008
Omar

I agree you don’t have to be a child molester to be a “Do Wrong Man” but if a speeding ticket and an embarrassing picture make you the #1 Do Wrong Man then there won’t any Do Right Men.

They should have been embarrassed to have that picture of Gerren Price holding a Moet bottle…

30 07 2008
Wally

Don’t you know you can’t fix STUPID. So why validate her. This is no difference than when the media goes into the hood and pick the dummest fuck to tell the public what happend.

30 07 2008
shabooty

she’s the woman now, bitch!

=)

(opposite of YTMND)

$

30 07 2008
ishouldbeworking

I love this blog and if I were anything like the woman who wrote this post I’d constantly have my panties in a bunch since I read it every day.

Let’s see I could stand to lose a few pounds (Fat People); I’ve had relaxed hair since I was seven and I wear a weave on occasion (Straight Hair); and I have a communications degree! I could’ve posted comments about the posts that could have potentially offended me but why? Chris doesn’t know me and it is blatantly obvious that his posts are meant to be humorous albeit acerbic at times. I apprieciate Chris’s blog because I can relate to and agree with most of it and as for the rest oh well. These posts and the comments make my workdays much more bearable.

And now I’ll go back to lurking.

30 07 2008
Dani

LMAO @

“I don’t give a a flying motherfucking fuck”

I use a lot of foul language when I’m upset….I’m now sure tht I will one day utter this exact sentence….thanks a lot Chris….

30 07 2008
ayo

Essence made the mistake of downing men while trying to highlight them and that is distracting… maybe next issue. Its readership is female. I say, turn the finger inward – List the Do Wrong Women: Mine list starts with Remy Ma, Kim Porter, and Lil Kim…

30 07 2008
ishouldbeworking

Oh and I love Obatula Spatula! If I bust out laughing the next time someone begins to wax philosophical/intellectual in my presence it will be all Obatula’s fault.

30 07 2008
Knatural

Did Obatula Spatula attend Howard?

30 07 2008
TheChad

thats the media for you. i agree that we should hold each other accountable for our actions even if they do pale in comparison to other peoples’.

however, we must also be careful in how we go about it. in lebron’s case, he has done much good in his city, for children and young black men. he’s also “done wrong”. while we criticize him for the not-so-good we should offer the good as well. Our own media outlets shouldn’t be just as slanted as the five o’clock news.

shit, ain’t nobody else gonna lift us up… but there’s a helluvenough people to put us down.

30 07 2008
puff

@ ayo – lol co-sign on the do-wrong women for essence, and add wendy williams to that list. that barbie wig she insists on wearing is reason enough

30 07 2008
Vanita

@ Puff and Ayo – You should add anyone who was on 106 and park to that do wrong list.

30 07 2008
Defiant

Educated in my mind equips you with a skill that can be used in the job market for your own good and in some cases the good of society. Most of these douches just have some shitty arts degree and feel a need to put it too use by . That being said I have a Sociology Degree and I honestly think I’m dumber now then when I came out of high school. Some feel because they have been “educated” that they are a fucking expert on the whoas of the world. I always enjoyed sitting in the grad bar at my school just to hear these arm chair philosophers sit back and give their two cents on every subject from local politics to to race relations.
I myself am at times guilty of the same shit but at least I know I can’t really do shit about it at least not with socio as a background in these cases one might as well sit back and have a laugh at it all. This website is great for that, people need to get the pickles out of their asses and learn how to laugh.

30 07 2008
Defiant

use complaining about everything around them… incomplete sentence I had a few drinks at lunch! 🙂

30 07 2008
TomatoHead

That would explain the “whoas of the world” 😛

I didn’t know our world was so fucking awesome

30 07 2008
ayo

I love New York should be on that list and all the Flavor of Love contestants Buckey, Deelicis and em, Sherry Shepard from the view…

30 07 2008
Ariel

Yay for Asian Club!

Wish I could pick up conversational Mandarin, all I can do is haggle.

30 07 2008
puff

defiant, you’ve given me a good idea, i’m off to find some vodka…

bad day at work, and i just fell in a puddle and wrecked my cute shoes 😦

khia has GOT to be on that list too

30 07 2008
LEO

Chris, come on tell us about the Asian Club.

30 07 2008
Omar

Do Wrong Black Men

Lil Wayne
all rappers with “Lil” in front of their name
Yung Jock
Jay-Z (probably worse than Lebron)
Puffy
Eddie Murphy(mainly for Norbit)
Everybody in Norbit and/or Soul Plane
Tyler Perry (More negative stereotypes than Lebron)
Ward Connerly (tried to end affirmative action after getting rich off of it)
Damon Wayans
All of the Wayans except for Kenon
Andrew Young
Joseph C. Phillips
All black men who work for FOX News
Reverend Wright (not being your brother’s keeper)
Wesley Snipes
Ice Cube
Ice-T
All former NWA members
Akon
Flava Flav
Russell Simmons
William Jefferson, D-La ($100,000 in the frig’ come on now)
Ray Nagin
Kwame Kilpatrick
Duval Patrick (first black governor and you buy a Cadillac with public funds…)
Fonzworth Bentley
Kanye West
Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones

To be continued…

30 07 2008
Defiant

@Puff
Get smashed and smoke a J!

Yeah I’ve got to start proof reading my post I’ve been pretty bad at that recently:(. Thanks for the corrections! As I said I’m dumber now then when I got out of high school… point proven.

30 07 2008
ayo

Reverend Wright (not being your brother’s keeper)
*DEAD*

30 07 2008
Irami

It seems to me that anyone with a bluetooth, or has an esq. or III/the 3rd after their name is a jackass.

30 07 2008
B4Prez

Can I just go on record and say that I think Khia is gonna save hip-hop?

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Why is ‘Ye on the list though?

I ❤ Kanye.

30 07 2008
Amadeo

Damn Omar…Keenan and Damon too?

I am trying to figure out how the fuck marlon got in the GI joe movie.

30 07 2008
Irami

And non-medical PhDs who expect to be called Dr.

30 07 2008
Knatural

I’m trying to figure out how Tyler Perry got in the Star Trek movie…

30 07 2008
puff

@ amadeo – i’ve been wondering the same damn thing.

@ b4prez *crickets* … what?

30 07 2008
30 07 2008
ayo

@ b4prez… ‘splain that.

30 07 2008
Jo

@Knat…uh-buh? How *did* Ty-ty get in the Star Trek movie?

30 07 2008
puff

@ knat wtf? tyler perry in star trek? i haven’t drunk enough for this shit to be staring back at me from my screen.

30 07 2008
Mike Whiteguy

Chris,
Looking at some of the pictures, it is clear that this guy is gender confused (How gay can you get, Chief Fruity-Ass?). After reading more about the in-laws, I can see that you’re also extremely racially confused.
I’ll make whatever assumption suits me best at the time I make it.

30 07 2008
Esquire

Omar,
I will slap the shit out of you. I KNOW you didnt leave Bob Johnson off that list

30 07 2008
Ethel

So if you DID give a flying fuck, would it be a low-flying fuck or more of a mid-level to high flying fuck?

Just curious.

30 07 2008
puff

*sigh* here we go…

30 07 2008
Jo

Do I spy a troll?

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Yeah, B4Prez… u got to ‘splain that…

*praying it’s a very very subtle form of irony I haven’t been able to get yet*

🙂

30 07 2008
Esquire

“It seems to me that anyone with a bluetooth, or has an esq. or III/the 3rd after their name is a jackass.”

ooh oooh THATS MEEEE!!!!!
You love it.

However, being a true jackass and the mother of a III, its not the childs fault his father was a Jr.

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

@Jo… The Troll-ism should not be acknowledged…

Meanwhile, I am still mulling over the Moet bottle in that pic…

30 07 2008
Esquire

Why wont yall leave that man alone? lol Im sure a photographer placed it in to make him look “romantic”

30 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Ayo- GTFOH. Now Essence can’t highlight “Do Wrong Men”? No one is stopping the Black men’s magazines from highlighting do wrong WOMEN! Oh, wait. Black men’s magazines are simply gym shoe and rim ad books with soft porn interspliced through it. And while you would add the “Flavor Of Love” girls to the list, many of them have been featured in Smooth, King, XXL, Black Men’s Magazine and the other illustrious publications geared towards Black men.

Btw- the “Do Wrong Men” are only featured on the website. You may want to pick the magazine up before you criticize it.

30 07 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH @ THAT BLASPHEMOUS SESAME STREET GANGSTA RAP.
I am soooooo uncomfortable with Burt saying ‘nigga’

30 07 2008
B4Prez

Because Khia is a conscious lyricist with a message, she’s the sexiest chick in the game, and she’s a class act. You’ll knowo this is the spitting image of class:

http://www.dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/271

30 07 2008
Sister Toldja

LOL! I know, Esq! Sheesh, a bottle of drank and a cute man *who love the kids* says “sent from heaven” to me.

30 07 2008
Esquire

well, the dialogue was just an example of us tearing up our men for no reason really. Cornballs make some of the best lovers…or maybe I made that up…but hey! you never know!

Lets Rip Bob Johnson to pieces. Not champagne teacher man

30 07 2008
Esquire

BTW…Im mad you called it “drank”

30 07 2008
Dustin

About whom are you talking? Who has a moet bottle and loves “the kids?” Hey, ST!!!

Speaking of “the kids,” I miss reading the posts, but I still love Chris. I’m going to have to catch up on the weekends since I’m expected to like, work and shit.

I’m going to get my copy of the book, Stuff White People Like, signed next week. I can’t wait until Chris’ book comes out. I’m going to have them both on my coffee table, side-by-side. This is quite apropos since I’m re-doing the entire place in black and white.

30 07 2008
Amadeo

@ All

Cause the Star Trek universe is diverse…so they have to feature black religious gheyness.

@ ST

Um…why does a women’s magazine need to focus on do wrong men at all? Women can do that on their own…if men’s magazine did start dissing women or calling them out best believe people would have a problem with it.

30 07 2008
Jo

*Nods at Ms. Sula. Laughs at “drank”. Goes back to God-forsaken online training module.*

30 07 2008
waa

chris,

i actually wish you hadn’t responded to the fool who posted that BS. wasting time responding to an idiot when you could be writing funny shit really sucks..

30 07 2008
Knatural

Apparently Tyler Perry is playing the head of StarFleet Academy…I assume he’s trying to shake the Medea image.

30 07 2008
ayo

ST: sigh… I said why highlight men and tear them down at the same time? – its stupid regardless if its on the website or not. (if im feeling good about black men why ruin the moment wherever it is?)
And then i said maybe next issue indicating it could be done at another time. I dont recall defaming the magazine just having an opinion about the Do Wrong Men idea in conjunction with the Do Good Men one.
Essence wouldnt dare blast people like Bob Johnson, Jesse or Puffy and teh countless others who deserve it more than LJ and stuck to old faithfuls RKelly & OJ which is bogus IMO.

30 07 2008
bella

i think i just pissed on myself from laffing so hard!!!

this MADE my day!!!

30 07 2008
Janus

@ B4Prez – I damn straight agree…. she is the sexiest thing on earth… I dont know why People doesn’t name her their Sexiest Woman and stop hating. (WTF is a bull-dagger?)

@ Omar – Where is T-Pain on that list? Bob Johnson? Bitch ass 50 cent?

I love this long ass aside though, some people just cant help but to open their big stinking blowhole and spout all sorts of crap and feel that they are right. If you don’t like the fucking blog, leave. Simple. The troll was just gettin on my nerves but I figure it must be JoelThen or some other clown lol.

30 07 2008
TheChad

i think instead of trolls we should just call em all “Joels”

t-pain ain’t neva hurt nobody!

yung berg on the other hand…

30 07 2008
DSD

I don’t think it would be GENERALLY PERCEIVED AS (please take note of the word “generally) okay for a white person with close black friends to make a site like this because usually, when you find white people in a position to make this kind of blog, they’re not a minority. My whole theory on why nobody cares when minorities in the US make fun of white people and when white people do the exact same, people flip a shit is that it doesn’t feel threatening unless it’s the majority doing it.

In other words, even the owner of this blog comes under some (usually stupid)fire for what he says. I feel like a Native American or something could probably get away with saying worse because nobody really gives a fuck. That’s the general attitude towards non-whites, in my point of view.

So yeah… I trailed off but umm. I’ll go back to my original point saying that

“…let’s answer your question directly, though: If I went to a site run by a white guy with close black friends that featured an 800-word essay explaining that the site was a joke, and consisted of ferociously over-the-top posts bashing just about every ethnic group on the planet including mine and his…I would laugh my fucking ass off.”

I would probably laugh, too. But other than regular visitors to your site/new visitors that have read the disclaimer page, there would be a pretty big group of people that might not find it funny.

30 07 2008
Knatural

…Still laughing at Bert & Ernie! That made my week, thanks so much.

Why is Mr. Bentley on the list? He’s trying to turn Gs to Gents.

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Everytime I see Khia, I think about that shitastic verse she spit on Ms. Rap Supreme: “R-E-S-P-E Respect Me…R-E-S-P-E Respect Me…you better repec me!”

?!

I see all that Tampa edumakation really did well for her [/sarcasm]
Has anyone read Khia’s advice column for Hood Magazine? Shitastic and hilarious…The sad thing is, I’d actually watch a reality show with her b/c she is batshit crazy..

30 07 2008
30 07 2008
Amadeo

Saw Barney on Bill Maher talking about that a while ago…they want to ban the sale of blunts and black and milds here now. People been using them joints for more than a decade and now they want to ban them.

30 07 2008
Knatural

Yonnie – you pothead!

30 07 2008
Neicy

I often wonder why people feel the need to comment like assholes about your blog.
New to commenting (waves to Sis. Toldja,lol), but not the site.

30 07 2008
Janus

@ TheChad – Ur insane!!! T-Pain is a big fat washy swibbly black grimy ass…. I hate his guts…. him and Yung Berg. Both of them need to fall in a well. Co-sign on your trolls = Joel initiative lol..

@ DSD – The discalimer page is there for a reason. If you don’t read it and then get offended or even if you do read it and still get offended, that is your foolish business. If you read most the posts your can tell its satire and sarcasm. If they don’t find it funny thats their problem.
And nobody gives a fuck about black people unless its an opportunity to pull them down… especially many whites.

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

The new Editor of Essence is generally trying too bloody hard… The magazine is now a confused mess in the spirit of “updating it”… making it supposedly more relevant… Most of the feature pieces make me cringe (Puffy and Baby Mama Kim anybody?)

So the “Do Wrong Men” with LJ as the lead? For a media-spurn, soit disant controversial picture and driving over the speed limit? Yeah, they need more people.

Meanwhile, am I late or is Eva the Diva no longer dating that kid from the TBS Tyler Perry DisasterShow That Shall Not Be Named? How come he was on the list of single “Do Right Men”…

30 07 2008
Elle

Chris, you owe me a new keyboard. This was funny as hell.

Back to the shadows….

30 07 2008
sarah

im going to take side with Essence for a second and assume that they are starting this “Do Wrong Men” section going from bad to worst.

that being said, i do think its a bad idea… and i don’t think LJ deserves to be on it.

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Oh yeah, what would you do if you win a free ass house from ABC with an extra $200K for college tuition for your kids and pay on taxes? Would you motgage the house for $450K to start some construction business and wind up getting foreclosed? I wouldn’t, but these Donkey asses did:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/2008/07/extreme-home-fo.html

Hee-Haw…

30 07 2008
Ms. Sula

My question to the foreclosed family is this? Was it too hard to get a loan from the Bank? Maybe that should have been a warning that the business plan was bogus?

Sheesh!

30 07 2008
shabooty

@ Neicy

That’s a good point.
last time I checked, this wasn’t the Black Wall Street Journal, and Chris wasn’t “The Game”.

30 07 2008
Elle

Rev, all I could do when I heard this story was shake my head. I also made sure I stayed away from people at work discussing it so they wouldn’t be looking at me like they usually do. For some reason they think I should have explanations for every f-ed up thing black folks do.

30 07 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Yeah, I feel bad for them in a way, but I REALLY feel bad for the children in the situation. Now, I can’t say what everyone would do, but the FIRST thing I would’ve done was go to a financial advisor before making such a drastic decision. $450K is way too much money to try and fuck up with.

30 07 2008
puff

i’dve invested the money… right after i converted it all into singles, filled a swimming pool up with them and just rolled around in it for a couple hours.

30 07 2008
zoso

“Most of my best friends are Asian, as is one of my ex-girlfriends whose parents are native-born Chinese.” So I know/am qualified/am not ignorant on the topic of ___.

Reminds me of the great multi-cultural/ethnic friend/family tie ins: “My best friend is black!”, “I grew up around white folks”, “blah, blah.”

Funny stuff.

30 07 2008
Roger

@ Knatural: “Did Obatula Spatula attend Howard?”

You KNOW he did–or some other HBCU. If Obatula Spatula attended a white institution, he will be 25% more insufferable than the one who goes to an HBCU. He will also eventually marry a white chick. Y’all have gone to school with an Obatula Spatula–they read the same damned pseudo-African books (Isis Papers, Haki Madhabuti’s stuff, Molefi Asante), constantly preach the evils of YT (it’s really ironic if they’re doing this at at white institution) and take themselves way, WAAAY too seriously. I had some Pro-Black Radicals try to tell me that Star Trek: The Next Generation was nothing more than space imperialism…

And what the fuck is going on with Essence magazine? That mag used to be well-written and informative. Now…well, it’s just barely a step up from Sister2Sister.

30 07 2008
Irami

“Oh yeah, what would you do if you win a free ass house from ABC with an extra $200K for college tuition for your kids and pay on taxes? Would you motgage the house for $450K to start some construction business and wind up getting foreclosed?”

In their defense, business is risky. They took a chance. For the most part, I like living in a world where people aren’t too scared to start businesses. Maybe they were unlucky, maybe they were incompetent, but they had the guts to do it, and that’s something.

30 07 2008
ViK

Not to be rude, but so far you have had posts on fat people and the gym, but until you post a photo wearing less than this, how do we know if you aren’t being a hypocrite? Just some constructive criticism.

30 07 2008
Roger

“Not to be rude”=”I’m gonna be rude, and stupid, but I don’t want people attacking my rude and stupid comment.”

“Just some constructive criticism”=”Absolute and complete assery that is about as constructive as Paula Abdul’s comments on American Idol.”

30 07 2008
geo

when i first started reading your blog, i always imagined you cracking up as you write your posts. even though, i have no idea as to what you look like.

people get outraged over the most impertinent stuff.

30 07 2008
ViK

@Roger, but that’s not nearly as good as “I’m not trying to be funny but….” *cue groans*

30 07 2008
ViK

@geo – that was a sarcastic comment, as that is Chris’ photo I linked to.

30 07 2008
Knatural

I had some Pro-Black Radicals try to tell me that Star Trek: The Next Generation was nothing more than space imperialism…
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Blaspheming Star Trek and Sesame Street in the same day?
I don’t like Black people anymore…

30 07 2008
Knatural

Vik – Chris is slim and trim, and tall. You can trust me 😀

30 07 2008
TomatoHead

Geo, check out the comment by Vik above yours and beyond Roger’s. There is Chris at the beach in some half-naked glory.

Though to be honest, he looks almost exactly like my dad so….ew.

30 07 2008
Muse

Chris is a complete monster. He smells funny, yells, and has demon eyes.

30 07 2008
geo

in my original comment, i wasn’t really responding to anyone.

@tomatohead- awww… the author is cute. kinda sucks he looks like your dad though. lololol

30 07 2008
Muse

:: )

30 07 2008
Knatural

Demon eyes? Damn Muse, how much did you have to drink?

30 07 2008
Muse

Knat shhhh I’m using reverse psychology!

Don’t tell anyone okay?

30 07 2008
Muse

BTW I think I’m going to be in DC again Sept. to see Paul Mooney. We should all hang out again.

30 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Wait, I missed the topless photos? Fuck…

30 07 2008
Muse

Did I mention that TJ Holmes from CNN could get it all day every day? Man I’m crushing on him.

30 07 2008
Muse
30 07 2008
Muse

Chaotic, you missed the nude photos of Chris. His nipples were exposed too. You can tell they were recently stimulated.

30 07 2008
Muse

Mr. Holmes is looking yum. I need to stop. I’ve been up since 4am. I’m working like a nutcase since I’m going to be gone for two weeks. Yahoo.

30 07 2008
Knatural

*choke*
AHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAA

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Lmao @ Rapper or Republican vid:

http://www.citizensugar.com/1825514

31 07 2008
ms mindless

i was with you until you started talking about the asian/persian friends that you have dated, etc. i think your rant is more powerful without that info. saying that is almost as bad as some asshole white guy who claims to know everything about black people because he went to an urban high school. everyone hates that guy and knows that he is full of shit. you are not full of shit. don’t make yourself sound like that guy.

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ muse….DAMN!!! I wanted to see…

But yea, I wonder who TJ Holmes’ baby mama is?

He’s a hottie though. Nothing like a black man in a suit.

31 07 2008
former lurker

read the blog everyday, can’t hold back my comments any longer.

i don’t know where to start, but i heard that tj holmes is dating chilli (as in, don’t go chasin waterfalls ex of usher…) 😦

31 07 2008
Roger

RE: TJ Holmes;

Damn, Damn, DAAAAMN!!

Damn.

31 07 2008
C

Oy, so many self-righteous people on the interwebs, probably the LAST place for these kind of folks. If she read ‘why you shouldn’t read this blog’ and STILL got offended, then she really deserves to be offended.

31 07 2008
former lurker

oh yeah…

1. why is soulja boy not on the list of the worst men?
2. psuedo intellectuals can kick rocks
3. Irami – STFU

that’s all for now

31 07 2008
Choco_Gnome

how i love this blog LOL

31 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Three years later. Hi Neicy!!!

Dustin, where you been? Lay your head on my chest pillows!

Um, who called Haki Madhubuti a psuedo-African intellectual? His books are awesome, easy to read and could be very helpful if our people en masse took the time to read them (esp. Black Men: Single? , Obsolete?, Dangerous?). His publishing company, Third World Press, publishes many books on cultural studies, poetry, childrens titles, etc. that are EXCELLENT and they are the oldest Black publishing company in America. It would be great if someone else would step up and speak on his behalf as so many people were willing to do for Nelly, but I guess most folks haven’t heard of him.

31 07 2008
Jen

Alberto & Ernesto, gay Dominican roommates, rapping to Ante Up. Why???

Space Imperialism? NOOOOOOOO.

P.S. Chris, you don’t have to write these angry responses to these simpletons anymore. Let me make it better.

31 07 2008
Nice

Soulja Boy is not on the worst man list because he isnt a man. He is still a child.

But, like I said before, ‘Why You Shouldnt Read this Blog’ needs to be required reading before anyone is allowed to post a comment. But, that still wouldnt stop to some morons from getting all in their chest about what Chris has to say and losing sleep over it. Evidence is the comment that was posted in ‘Why You Shouldnt Read This Blog’. Where do they find these people?

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Ooh! I wanna look at man-candy!!!

Sorry…got a bit of a hormonal issue…

31 07 2008
former lurker

“Soulja Boy is not on the worst man list because he isnt a man. He is still a child”

touche…

31 07 2008
Johnny O

Chris,

“I don’t give a flying motherfucking fuck”. That is priceless man. I can just imagine the steam coming off your ears when you typed that. Been awhile since my white Idaho ass tuned in. Keep it up bro. You’re the Will Ferrell of blogs. Just when I think you can’t come up with any more funny shit. BAM! you hit it like a spider monkey. Later.

31 07 2008
riz

Late and off subject, but . . .

Chris, I like this blog topic. I think you should do it more often– take a comment that you get, and rip it apart. I say that, knowing that I’m a California liberal feminist with a law degree who will likely be (mis)quoted in a future rant. But I can take the heat… which separates me from the worthless f*cktard trolls who feel the need to make comments.

Others feel the need to hijack Black humor and (sometimes music). They feel the need to join into Black self-deprecation and BET style coonery. I have no idea why. Maybe to show that they are “down,” with our hip, “urban,” culture. But when Black humor addresses a non-stereotype, they can’t hijack it– they can’t understand beyond the stereotype. So they call it racist. That’s why trolls both love and hate this site– they like when the satire is turned on us, but hate when the mirror is turned right on them.

31 07 2008
riz

Oh Heaven’s sake… The invasion has begun.

Sorry, but if more than 5% of the comments start coming from non-Black posters, I am abandoning ship. … especially once comments start reading, “As a biracal, 1/2 Creole,Mexican person of European descent, I feel that the world shouldn’t be color-conscious…..:”

This, I swear.

31 07 2008
Johnny O

Riz

Chris is half black you tool.

31 07 2008
MiracleMax

Vice President of the Asian club? lmao I have yet to find an black guy being apart of any asian club lmao, except Tiger Woods. HAHAHAHAHA so funny im crying….

31 07 2008
Bajan Girl

@Muse
“Chaotic, you missed the nude photos of Chris. His nipples were exposed too. You can tell they were recently stimulated.”

Ya lie!! Donde?

damn… I missed a whole lot didn’t I… guess I gotta catch up

31 07 2008
riz

@Johnny O,

And you are . . . ?

31 07 2008
riz

^^ Oh wait, nevermind. I don’t care.

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

hey riz!!

31 07 2008
Lolo

Dear Riz,

As a person who is 1/4 Korean, 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Dutch American, 1/4 Hawaiian, as in “spam is one of my fave food groups” kine, I feel like the world shouldn’t be color conscious about who they offend. I hope that eventually, others like me comprise more than 5% of this blog’s commenters and we have an all out slingfest in here with us vying to see just how far over the line we dare to go.

Dear Chris,

Doncha love it when people take shit personally and expect complete strangers to give a fuck? It makes for its own form of amusement, at least.

31 07 2008
riz

@Lolo,

If that’s an invitation to me to start slinging at you, I gladly accept. I’ll put you on my sh*tlist of people who deserve only my finest rants about how this site is dedicated to Black people, and not the privileged ignorance of the so-called “colorblind.”

But that’s for another day, when I decide that you even matter.

ANYWAY,

@Cdiva– hey girlie! Will get at you day after tomorrow!!

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Lolo…me and riz are good friends and I’m a mutt…Cuban, Panamanian, Cherokee, French, Irish, and Black. Riz simply was making a comment about over-sensitive people on here starting shit despite the disclaimer. After all, some of our fave posters are non-black (see: Shabooty).

Get over yourself…

@ riz…good luck with the rest of the bar!!!

31 07 2008
riz

I’m also making a comment about how people love to read about posts against Black people, but get mad when its about any other race.

And I will tell you right now, that about 90% of the time, any sentence that starts with “As a [lists a ratio for several races, none of which have dark skin], growing up around [nothing to do with black people], I think …” will be followed by something racist or condescending… Especially when people start making races up. Many of us are/have been in that situation, but it’s not brought up at every possible opportunity.

Wake Up Call to Lurkers: Black Americans are a mixed people, by ancestry (sorry to all my African people out there), so in nature, everyone is mixed. But we still identify with particular heritage. It could be 1 race or 2, maybe even 3. But once people start turning this into a race to prove how NOT Black that they are, while still commenting on the negative aspects of Black culture, I will quickly turn that mirror on full blast.

Because I honestly do not care who that offends.

31 07 2008
Justin

On Monday, a white lady said to me, “My boyfriend is half black, half white. His skin looks just like yours… really pretty.”

I, being a Southeast Asian with a tan, could only reply, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Thanks.”

31 07 2008
Michael

Aw the angry folk, gotta love them.

“I was the Vice President of the asian club in high school.”

LMAO people would ask me why I was in the Asian Club in college and why I would go on retreats with them. Nice to see other black folk who were parts of other groups while still being a part of their own. I can’t front though most of my friends were Filipinos so they are technically eastern Mexicans :D.

31 07 2008
The Doc Is In

“And I will tell you right now, that about 90% of the time, any sentence that starts with “As a [lists a ratio for several races, none of which have dark skin], growing up around [nothing to do with black people], I think …” will be followed by something racist or condescending… Especially when people start making races up. Many of us are/have been in that situation, but it’s not brought up at every possible opportunity.”

*Standing fucking ovation for Riz*

Even when it’s not followed by something condescending, it reeks of desperation of trying to first qualify your statements that “even though I’m down enough to talk about XYZ concerning black folks…I’m still clearly better than the plain ol’ regular black/brown person”. Ugh, most everyone in America is a sludge pot of ethnicity. I completely understand identifying with a few heritages that play an INTEGRAL role in your daily life…But when you get to the point where every other time you open your mouth you have to give a roll call of six and seven races (three of four of which come from places you probably can’t even identify on a map) that’s just retarded. I mean really, it’s okay…Great Great Grandpappy Stanislaus is NOT going to turn over in his grave if you don’t claim his ass.

31 07 2008
MiracleMax

@micheal

I KNOW! Alot of my friends are filipinos, and they would be in some sort of asian club in college, but they were like “actually we call ourselves ‘pacific islanders’ because we dont consider ourself THAT asian” and i would be like, “then why the hell are you in the ASIAN club lol”. They would respond “because we like hello kitty too” lmao lmao lmao. Sadly in the Asian food chain, Filipinos are at the bottom, Japanese are at the top, then koreans, chinese, vietnamese, and finally Filipinos.

31 07 2008
Soullady

Don’t worry, I can take it. I am impressed that you spend so much of your precious time for your response while I get tired reading it half through :-).

For someone who likes to lash out on a regular basis, you can get pretty pissed if it concerns yourself. Where is your sense of humor now, baby?

And why do you have to insult me? Even if you don’t agree, you should respect my opinion and not give me bad names and accuse me of nonsense. You don’t even know me. Not that I give a flying fuck what you think about me.
Actually it is funny, because you are showing everyone who reads this and is smart enough to see that you know how to bash others, but you can’t take shit.

I didn’t call you a racist and I am not offended by anything. All I said basically is to keep respect for others. It also has nothing to do with your race.

Well, I guess you have to learn a lot. Good luck.

31 07 2008
Soullady

Over 200 people hating me? That’s what I always wanted 🙂

And everyone knows me so well. I am gay, I am a racist, I am a hypocrite, I am a guy, I am a woman, cool. Makes me going into a real identity crisis.

Well, as long as I make your day, fine.

I think you people are all funny as hell with your outragenous.

31 07 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

That was the most predictably lame response ever. You can find people making the false “I’m flattered you spent to much time on me – you can dish it out but you can’t take it – you have a lot of growing up to do” argument being made by morons all over this site.

Then again, I suppose it’s wrong of me to expect idiots to be original.

31 07 2008
willnotbetelevised

Muse I don’t think we would be allowed to all see Paul Mooney at the same time. Especially if drank were involved. Some arrests would happen. We would probably get Paul Mooney arrested somehow… Should be fun

BTW update. The Global Holiday of August 27th will not be celebrated on the weekend of Labor Day due the evil Demons of Exam dates. Venue TBA. Probably some time at Dave&Busters to celebrate youth, and then some sort of lounge to celebrate over 21idness. Most likely in NYC

Lolo-welcome back mommy.

SBPH- you are a sadist by that whole Asian club thingie sans any more details. Fun though.

31 07 2008
Lolo

@willnotbetelevised Hey back atcha, I’ve been lurking but no time to really read the comments (which are the sprinkles on the sundae of hate) lately. Still, it’s always at least a smile to read this blog.

Riz, Chaotic,

Your comments are so meta on this post that they’re the chocolate covered cherries. (“that’s racist!!”) I only wish that they had been intentionally ironic but still, the laugh is worth having.

I am going to try to come up with my own term for my race though. Presently I’m annoyed at the persistent habit that east asians have for coming up with phrases like the “the dim sum of all things”, etc. Maybe I’ll just start telling people that I’m from the Wei Phukked tribe.

31 07 2008
Irami

Haki Madhubuti is a good guy. He runs four Afro-centric on the South Side of Chicago and does it on shoe string budget. Over the last 35 years, he has shown the quality of intiative that is rare and should be lauded. I don’t agree with everything he says all the time, but he is the real deal and deserves the respect and thanks of a grateful community.

_______

Bluetooths, III/the 3rds, and anyone who puts Esq. after their name. I have a had time taking any of these people seriously. If Morehouse were to go up in flames– it’s a hypothetical, ya’ll– at least the world would be spared a percentage of these douchebags.

31 07 2008
Irami

Afro-Centric schools, that is.

31 07 2008
Roger

@Soullady: you are full of self-righteous horseshit.

31 07 2008
Deviant

This post was just beautiful. I love to see people get roasted.

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ lolo…my intentions were to bring things to neutral grounds by saying that there are non-blacks as well as mixed people on the site that aren’t offended by the posts because we know that its all in good fun and humor. I also made a point to mention that riz and I are good friends, simply because you were full out calling her racist for her facetious comment.

Again, its the internet. If you don’t like what someone posts, you can ignore it and do something else that’s much more worthwhile.

31 07 2008
Amadeo

Let me join in:

I’m mostly black, a lil mexican, sprinkled with 4 different native tribes and just for fun my name could cause a street fight in the middle east.

Oh, plus I live on the northeast side and work in southwest.

Call my multicultural…though I prefer….Almondy

31 07 2008
Amadeo

*Me (goddammit)

31 07 2008
Omar

My family is American and Costa-Rican by nationality but both sides are black as hell…

@CD – please refrain from refering to yourself as a “mutt” or you will be eligible for the Do Wrong Women’s list.

This guy will probably Essence’s next Do Right Man…

31 07 2008
Knatural

Can I just say: I hate the term “mutt”. It sounds mangey and rabid. I prefer Mixed Nut, since most multi-racials are crazy anyway.
Not that I need to defend Lolo, but I totally took her “As a person who is 1/4 Korean, 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Dutch American…” comment as sarcasm and mocking the ridiculousness of others who say stuff like that. Plus, being mean to Lolo constitutes elderly abuse.

31 07 2008
Amadeo

Just as an aside…is it wrong that I think Amy Holmes needs it bad and I’m willing to give it to her??? Just wondering???

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Amadeo, Omar, Knat…lmao!!!

I’ll find a new term then…how about blended?

31 07 2008
Knatural

Oh, and I agree with Doc. My best friend actually claims every single drop of heritage each time someone asks, it’s annoying. She’s Latino/Hispanic, so OBVIOUSLY ‘mixed’, but she feels the need to say African, Romani, Salvadorian, Native American…it’s exhausting. I understand she’s proud of her background, but everytime, to strangers, too. Sometimes I think she does it to seem more exotic. Maybe I can’t empathize since I’m just regular ol’ Black.

31 07 2008
vitazza

No, Amadeo your right go for it!

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Knat…like its understandable if she grew up with those cultures predominately and claims them, but if she was raised as one thing, and claims another…its like let it go.

I mean I know I wasn’t raised as traditional Cuban, but I was raised with my cuban family on cuban food. I also claim black because thats the side that i was raised with. The only time I do the full breakdown is when someone asks what all am i mixed with.

Sorry, had to throw in the personal testimony.

31 07 2008
Omar

@Knat – that is because people will walk up to somebody, and instead of getting to know them, will ask “what are you??”…

… to which the proper response is “I’m a person bitch, and a violent person when asked stupid ass questions!!”

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ omar…

31 07 2008
shabooty

my moral compass points to my cock.

$

31 07 2008
Amadeo

I never felt the need for a term because if you’re black and american and a descendant of yours was here early on….you’re mixed. Damn the hype. That’s why I got annoyed with people trying to break down Barack and say he wasn’t really “black”.

Dude is the child of an African and an American White…far as I’m concerned he’s black (or African American) 1.0 He’s the base model…the rest of us just had upgrades.

31 07 2008
Lolo

I actually can’t be bothered to do the full breakdown most times because it’s usually asked in that way that just pisses me OFF and then I’ll often go with “the other white meat, duh”. All I know is that when I wake up one morning looking like Roddy McDowell from Planet of the Apes, I’m gonna perm my hair all frizzy and buy one of those tatty cardigans and start pushing people out of my way in the line while pretending that I “don’t speakie engrish, gwei lo”.

31 07 2008
Landon

Shabooty:

Shouldnt your cock point for your moral compass?

31 07 2008
Lolo

Also, I don’t neccessarily take Chris’ posts as good humoured, etc. but as a release valve so that he doesn’t punch dumbasses in their nuts. Or maybe I’m just projecting cuz that’s how I do. If I hadn’t had it pointed out to me at some point that hitting people is against the law, I would be in jail and in a wheelchair by now cuz I can’t really fight for shit. Got deadly aim with a shoe and can run and hide though, thanks to my mommy.

31 07 2008
Knatural

I think it’s rude to just outright ask a stranger “What are you?” That’s part of why I get annoyed with her long-winded response because it encourages assholes to ask these questions, and look at her sideways. Oh well.

31 07 2008
Knatural

Lolo – you got all that Asian blood flowing through your veins and you don’t know Kung Fu or Hapkido? Karate? Nothing? You should be ashamed of yourself.

31 07 2008
riz

Thank you, Doc. It’s those comments that are like, “Are you bragging or are you complaining?”

Multiculturalism is not a problem of mine. A quick look at my FB profile or my music choices, or my choice of profession or my travels, or all the ex-bfs who (for some reason) feel the need to post to my wall, will quickly alert you to my wide breadth of interests. It’s not that I don’t appreciate diversity or live within it.

But I’m not trying to prove my assimilation skills on this site. I’m not emphasizing all those things that make me not a “normal Black person,” because I understand that all Black ppl are different, that we all experience diversity, that we all have some other blood in our veins and that we all have been confused as some other race (especially if we are “articulate.” -ahem-). Neither does Amadeo or Cdiva, etc. I’ve never seen or heard either of them say, “As 1/4 Lebanese, I’d think that Black women need to . . .”

So please don’t tell me how to feel or think or about the Black experience, laugh at how crazy funny the darkies act, until you’ve had 3 or more of the following experiences:

(1) white person asking you dumb questions about your skin (do you tan?), hair (see prior posts) or culture (why can’t I use the n-word. It’s just a word!)

(2) Being looked at crazy when you are in an exclusive neighborhood/store, car dealership, professional experience. For example, shopping at Barney’s,– You know that you can afford it– they don’t.

(3) Being pulled over by the police on pure pretext.

(4) Being told by a white person that you are articulate, or complimenting you because you lack a “Blaccent.”

(5) Having to defend your race(s) against mainstream media portrayal.

(6) Eaten chit’lins, even if you don’t like them.

31 07 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Soullady was actually crazy enough to send me an email:

From: mona.baudelaire@arcor.de
To: stuffblackpeoplehate@gmail.com

“What is your problem with me?

If you run a blog like this, you should be able to handle some criticism. Just because you find something funny, doesn’t mean the whole world has to love it.

But that is besides the point. Your problem is that you can’t even respond in a mature way. Would you have said, that you don’t agree with me or take my comment out, ok. No problem.

But this kind of hate towards a stranger, wow. Maybe you should check for some therapy.

In a way I find you funny, because this is so outrageous. But I think, I should rather feel sorry for you. You cannot have much going on in your life if I can set you off so badly with a comment.

Poor guy, get a life.”

I am on the verge of soiling myself from laughing so hard.

31 07 2008
Monique

You know when I saw Soullady’s use of the word “outragenous” I googled it to make sure that it wasn’t some new (or American) variation of outrageous. Ironically, this is what I came across….

http://de.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2204801999&topic=2753

coincidence?

31 07 2008
Lolo

Is Soullady Persian/Blasian? Cuz man, talk about taking it personal.
Riz, I got everything except for #6 but I would like to substitute Spam, chicken anus or dog, please.

31 07 2008
ayo

awww Chris, you hurt her feelings!
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTFLMBAO!

31 07 2008
Amadeo

I’m a Native of Pangea

31 07 2008
Landon

how has everyone been? I guess i have missed some interesting information! and posts!

CHRIS: you been on a roll i guess!

31 07 2008
Lolo

Chuck Norris ate my comment.

Is Soullady Persian/Blasian? She’s taking things way personal here.

Riz, I got everything on the list nailed (substituting “you talk english real good, how long have you been here?” for blaccent) except for #6. Can I substitute Spam, chicken anus or dog for chitlins?

31 07 2008
Amadeo

When will folks realize…half the reason for blogging is to talk about the idiots who have intervened on your life. So when those people intervene on your blog, how do they expect it not to be talked about on the blog.

I have a better one though…I once off-handedly wrote about how I like Wolverine, Spiderman, Batman and The Hulk…but I think Superman sucks…I got dissertations in my comment section…some of them like months later. They told me how my “opinion” was wrong and then wanted to explain why Superman was so much better then all of the characters I liked.

31 07 2008
The Doc Is In

Pangaeans unite!!

31 07 2008
Omar

I think she is German, at least her soul music site is in German which is a little bizarre.

31 07 2008
Knatural

Amadeo – why would they even compare DC Comics to Marvel in the first place?

31 07 2008
Knatural

Uh oh, she’s talking about StuffBlackPeopleHate on her blog! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA

31 07 2008
Landon

DOC:

how you doing 🙂

31 07 2008
Vanita

What is your problem with me?
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Why the f-ck does she care is the real problem here. ITS THE INTERNET, and WHO GIVES (and I quote) A FLYING FUCK???

31 07 2008
Omar

People pay entirely too much attention to stuff that they don’t like these days, that would be like me watching FOX News all day and then being upset instead of just changing the channel.

31 07 2008
Lolo

Knat, comic book nerds are some of the crazier tweaks out there on the internets. http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=sdcc%202008&w=all&s=int they’ll spend hours, literally, arguing the importance of the design of Green Lantern’s ring and scrotal pouch.

31 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Knat

I have no clue…all DC really has is Batman anyway.

I have a problem with Amy Holmes but I watch her anyway…mostly so I can imagine giving it to her while I proclaim…”You want me to be liberal don’t you…Don’t You!

31 07 2008
riz

LOL@ Omar

31 07 2008
puff

landon where you been?

can someone make soulless-and-miserable-as-hell lady put down the fucking shovel? *smh*

31 07 2008
ph2072

Roger (15:59:23) :

“that accurately describes just about EVERY fake ass pseudo-intellectual i
know….”

I HATE fake-ass pseudo-intellectuals. The worst ones are ones with a PhD behind their name. Many is the time I go to a conference and listen to some fellow doctorate-holder spout some goddamned NONSENSE drenched in twenty dollar words. All it takes is a well-placed question and their nonsense falls apart. Then there’s the Pro-Black Radical pseudo-intellectual: he (and it’s usually a he) is bullshit wrapped in Traditional African Garb festooned with dreds and smelling of Egyptian Musk…and bullshit. They’re all Kwame Nygame Obatula Spatula…and we all know their real name is Roy Jackson.
__________________________________

^^^^^^^^^^^^
YES LOL! So on point.

Kudos for writing this blog post. I hope that you start doing this on a regular basis. Whoever suggested that you pick apart shit like this more often, suggested a good idea.

Thanks for giving me my morning (mental) laugh. 😉

31 07 2008
shabooty

lol at that chicks latest email
i think i can speak for chris in that here’s how shit works… whether it’s me at my blog , chris here, or howard stern spewing off on the microphone…
you say some shit whether hateful or not , and out of context it looks like you’re steaming pissed and apeshit…
but i can guarantee a day later, you don’t even remember what you said nor care about it. it’s the readers or listeners that dwell on that shit…that’s off the chest at that point and ya move on.

i just remember writing shit bout an ex- then talking to her 5months later and she’s all bitter over what I had written in the past, and I had ZERO recollection of what trash talk I MIGHT have said (okay well i’m sure i said something bad and involving cunt-lips) but, as soon as I said it -I forgot bout it… the anger is with you in the moment then it’s gone… sorry now i feel like a dork explaining the art of ventilation.

$

31 07 2008
Landon

been around trying to not get in trouble!

but i ll be around again, lol…. i hope all is well with everyone!

31 07 2008
puff

that might be your longest reply yet, shabooty.

lmao at cuntlips… sigh. i wonder how people have the time to be furious for extended periods of time like five months – don’t they get bored?

31 07 2008
alex

THe woman who wrote that wrote a stupid response to what you wrote on her blog:
http://www.soullounge.net/

31 07 2008
alex

by “that” i meant the weird, stupid preachy comment to which you responded in this post.

31 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ the lady provokin shabooty to actually write about his feeling!!

31 07 2008
imaG

Lol 🙂 Funny

http://www.anythingblack.net

31 07 2008
Africanchic

the dumbest comment that was made to me was, “you’re ethiopian? but you’re not skinny!” and no it wasn’t meant to be humerous. the person was dead serious. hmmmm

31 07 2008
Africanchic

btw, i weighed about 115lbs at the time. hmm

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

….hmm a German person talking to American Blacks about their experiences…

…from what I’ve heard, American Blacks and European Blacks are completely different. We would be considered American over there, but blacks there are African.

…this comes from both family and friends from Germany. I just saw a few of them over the weekend. They’ve lived there for 15 years.

31 07 2008
MiracleMax

I wish I was blasian. Then I would be great at sports and be super smart….oh well, I guess thats why Tiger Woods is so successful……

1 08 2008
ViK

*psst. Don’t tell Chris*

Here’s my plan. I’m starting a blog, and will bash Chris on THIS site, to generate readers to MY site. Clever, aren’t I? 😉

Oh yeah, love the e-beef

1 08 2008
Machete

Hilarious! Loved your use of logic.

1 08 2008
scarletjoned

you know what I think was the most tragic part about soullady’s objection was her automatic assumption that just because Chris has something to say about other groups he’s not a part of, she automatically believes he has never been anywhere, is uncultured, and talking out of his ass. tragic!

and sadly she’s not even the first person to use this flawed logic. I think I saw the same kinds of arguments on other comments sections here. I now believe that it is a representation of the inherent prejudice of these folks, because I don’t think the idea of chris not being well read/traveled/informed would even cross their mind if he weren’t black.

1 08 2008
Soul Cry

I’m laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face. wow. love it.

3 08 2008
Angry black woman « Danrex’s blog

[…] black woman I read this post the other day and it inspired me to start a blog. Basically so I can criticise stupid people. Had to […]

9 08 2008
anglfce3

I love this blog. I was in such a bad mood and now look 😀 oh and

“Monique (14:24:07) :

You know when I saw Soullady’s use of the word “outragenous” I googled it to make sure that it wasn’t some new (or American) variation of outrageous.”

I just knew I was the only one who thought that COULD be a word. I did the same thing! lololololol

9 11 2008
Phillip

“Go fuck yourself.” Lately, I too have had to say this quite a bit to brown nosers I’ve said nothing to to begin with. It’s the perfect string of words though, isn’t it? ^__^

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