Vegans

28 07 2008

It would seem that vegan organizations have recently come into an awful lot of money. Everywhere I go, I am noticing vegan ads – almost all of which feature images of dirty chickens for some damn reason – all over public transportation billboards from D.C. to Chicago.

The most recent of these fucking ads had a picture of a hen sitting in a cage with its wing over a semi-adorable chick, with a caption that read “This is what a wing is for.”

The obvious incorrectness of the caption sent me into a rage. Clearly, chicken wings are meant for one purpose and one purpose only (the point is further expounded by this song):

Figure 1: THIS is what wings are for.

I was dicking around on the internet and came across this definition of veganism:

“[T]he word “veganism” denotes a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude — as far as is possible and practical — all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of humans, animals and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals.”

Veganism – and its refusal to use the animals our Creator(s) put here for the purpose toward which they were created – is an affront to God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, Krishna, and Chuck Norris. There is evidence all around us that animals are indeed for eating:

1. All animals eat other animals. Even deer eat bugs and shit when they’re chowing down on grass and berries and whatever the fuck else they eat. A deer will also rape you and, if successful, eat you*.

2. All the animals that matter eat meat. Animals that matter include sharks, big cats, tyrannosaurs, killer whales, birds of prey, wolves, and bears. Nobody would watch the Discovery channel if it included programs about herbivorous animals that weren’t being eaten or about to be eaten by carnivores, and there’s a damn good reason for it.

3. Animals are delicious. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina. He also wouldn’t have invented hot sauce.

To not eat meat is to say that you’re better than all God’s creatures, humans don’t matter, and God doesn’t know how to satisfy the human palette. Basically, you’re saying you know more than the Almighty – and you know damn well he isn’t gonna stand for that shit. Stalin and any given vegan stand about an equal chance of going straight to hell.

I had a conversation with a vegan a couple of years ago. This person cited the fact that animals are ‘creatures of value’ and therefore have a set of basic rights. Though she was correct in this position, her position does not preclude me from eating animals for the following reason:

Figure 2: Animal entitlement (click to enlarge)

As proven in the work above, animals are only entitled to liberty. It doesn’t say anything about my ability to kill them, eat them, make furniture and clothing out of them, and enjoy stuff like this. It may rightfully preclude people from eating animals that are caged and confined, but I don’t have that problem. Almost all of the meat in my diet consists of field-hunted deer and free-roaming beef, so I’m not violating any principles of liberty when I go home tonight and cook my venison French rack.

Vegans will be used for fuel on SBPH Airlines.

*Probably

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279 responses

28 07 2008
reeese

1st

28 07 2008
Bassey

😦
I was vegan for 5 years for health reasons. I’m currently a vegetarian. I’ll see myself out.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

I hate vegans as well. I had a major issue with one vegan who told me that we aren’t designed to eat meat. I was like, then why do we have canines and why have we been hunting animals since the beginning of time?

She thought cave people were retarded and should have subsisted on berries and onions. I was like, woman, if you were living during the ice age when there were like, 2 plants to a mastodon, you would eat the mastodon.

I subsequently ate a chicken sandwich in front of her and wore my suede boots 4 days in a row just to piss her off.

28 07 2008
SheWhoMustNot BeNamed

I have no problem with vegans who want to simply eat better. You want to have a healthier diet, be my guest. More power to ya! But these PETA f.cks get on my nerves. I spent a few days on Warped Tour last summer (long story), the tent I was in seemed to always been adjacent to the PETA2 tent, which meant I spent a lot of time looking at their damn “I’m not a nugget” shirts and listening to malnourished white kids espouse their self righteous blather about how eating meat is “evil”. By time my little stint was over, I was ready to stand in front of them gnawing on a turkey leg wrapped in eggs and dipped in beef gravy.

There’s actually a blog where a woman documents going from vegan to a carnivore. She decided that even though meat tasted “ok” it wasn’t worth killing an innocent animal over. Those are the vegans I hate.

28 07 2008
Nice

I don’t qute understand the philosophy of vegans. I don’t eat certain meats, but I do eat meat. I do however, think that meat should be eaten in moderation. But if animals can eat eachother, why is it wrong for people to eat them?

I don’t ever think I could ever give up my buffalo wings.

28 07 2008
Muse

Meat, fish, and poultry gives meaning to life. I tried to do the vegen thing for a month and I was angry, mean, and stupid. My IQ dropped probably 30 points as a result of going vegan for a month. Most imporantly I was constantly thinking of food my life life suddenly didn’t have meaning without animal products in my system. Besides if we want to discuss health benefits, vegans who don’t plan their diets well are often deficient in nutrients such as vitamin B12, VitaminD, calcium, and omega-3 fatty acids. As a result of these deficiencies vegans are prone to catch anemia, osteomalacia, and hyothyroidism.

I’m doing the animal kingdom a favor by eating them. My meat is strickly organic and I make sure that I eat free range chickens. They tend to taste better anyway LOL.

28 07 2008
JG*

@ Tomatohead: I was told by a friend that a vegetarian told him that we only have FOUR teeth that could be used for eating meat. The rest are perfect for non-meat food. Therefore, we don’t really need those four teeth, and should not eat meat.

28 07 2008
Muse

BTW PETA needs to fucking die. The nerve that organization has comparing the plight of some fucking animals to slavery and the holocaust put me over the edge. Animals didn’t have their culture ripped away from them resulting in a fragmented community. GRRR. Back to work.

28 07 2008
Jo

Fig 2: Genius. I will be using this argument whenever faced with rabid vegans.

28 07 2008
tnt

im a vegetarian but i totally hate vegans because they think they have the right to tell other people how to eat and/or live their lives.

i don’t roll like that. so i don’t think other people have the right to do that either.

now me, i’ve been a vegetarian for almost 2 years, and I don’t have any plans on going back. and my reasons for giving up meat are completely different from everybody else’s

28 07 2008
geo

@Muse- I agree. PETA is the WORST!
bunch of rich, privileged *coughwhitecough* folks.
they barely apologized for comparing the Trail of Tears, the Holocaust, Japanese Internment Camps, and Slavery to keeping animals in cages. And the constant approval of destroying folks’ property (i.e. spray painting the clothes of people) and harassing folks is down right inhumane.

i have no qualms about what people eat. what does irk is when folks start making character judgments based on dietary habits.

28 07 2008
A

I like meat. I think it tastes good and humans are meant to eat it. I do think that the conditions under which the animals are raised could be better, both for ethical and health reasons.

28 07 2008
Muse

Don’t forget the health and conditions animals live in impact taste. When chickens are caged up their meat tends to be tougher.

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

I did the vegan thing for like, 7 months. I just wanted to see if I could. I didn’t stop wearing leather, because I don’t care very much about animals (except cats). I don’t think we should kill them for sport, but people been eating and wearing meat forever. I can think of a million other more pressing social issues.

I gave up pork a long time ago, I have had beef twice in the past ten years (I was high), and chicken maybe twice in the past five (chicken wings are a hard habit to break). I will crush, kill and destroy all delectable salmon, catfish and shrimp sent my way though.

I don’t have a problem with vegans who make that choice, stand beside it (and NOT in a pair of Shelltops! Bitch, you are wearing meat) and respect others decision to do otherwise. But any of these PETA goons can get checked in a heartbeat. They value the lives of animals more than people and that is absurd.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

I do the free-range chicken thing. And around where I live, almost all the restaurants use organic stuff or free range chickens or grass-fed beef. My school’s dining halls are all organic and trans-fat free.

That said, Bethany will, on occasion, go down to McDonalds and get some nuggets. Chicken can be made into nuggets. I hate PETA. They kill more animals a year than animal shelters.

By the way, Muse, I know what you are talking about. I tried going vegetarian for awhile. I was a horrible person. I got pissy and moody all the time. Now I mainly eat chicken and fish, beef maybe once every two weeks and pork once in a blue moon. I can’t remember the last time I ate pork…hmmm.

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Oh, and you see PETA ain’t never tossed no paint on a Black woman’s fur! Can you imagine! “Bitch, I managed (despite being Black In America, as seen on CNN) to amass this $5000 coat and you gonna put motherfucking PAINT ON IT!!!!” There would be real blood in the streets that day….

28 07 2008
Roger

Shit, meat is GOOD. I tried going vegetarian–that lasted a week until one day, I was walking past a Wendy’s.

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Vegan food is good as hell though! Most of the cheese isn’t , but a lot of the chicken and beef subs are delicious. I don’t know if I will ever be a real vegitarian and quit eatin seafood, but I love tofu, tempeh, wheat protien, etc.

28 07 2008
Quiet Storm

I LOVE meat. I cant imagine life without it. I remember trying to do the vegetarian thing once in college to see if I could. I lasted only 8 hours before I was stuffing my face with wings from Wing Zone. mmmmmmmm….wings with ranch dip. Now I want some…for lunch…and dinner…

28 07 2008
B4Prez

ST – “Bitch, I managed (despite being Black In America, as seen on CNN) to amass this $5000 coat and you gonna put motherfucking PAINT ON IT!!!!”

LMAO@ ‘despite being black in America’! That was great.

———-

Oh yea, I love chicken…a lot…possibly more than I love anything…or anyone…or even myself…yea…chicken…

28 07 2008
tilshiloh

tried vegan for two years..doctor told me “get some protein homey”.

” I will crush, kill and destroy all delectable salmon, catfish and shrimp sent my way though”

thanks sistah toldjah .. that would me me minus the catfish.

i’m healthier or at least i think i am..lol. to each his own so !@#% PETA..guns in my homeland destroy more: including the animals..go spray paint the ammo shops..

28 07 2008
Esquire

He also wouldn’t have invented hot sauce.

PREACH BROTHA

28 07 2008
KadiBaby

I’m vegetarian for my health but I would never lecture anyone on how to live their life. And animals were given to be eaten…So I won’t hate on your chicken wings.

28 07 2008
Jen

“Animals are delicious. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina. He also wouldn’t have invented hot sauce.”

Come by here, my lord.

28 07 2008
Nice

I remember I was walking downtown once and I had on a wool coat with a fur lining right in the middle of a PETA rally. This PETA chick came up to me and asked me was my fur real. I told her yeah and what was she gonna do about it. She just smiled and walked away. Either she wasnt real about hers, or she was shook. If she had of poured anything on me, she was gonna be leaving in a stretcher.

28 07 2008
Esquire

I think PETA knows black people dont play that.

they are as bad as those retards who went on “PET rescue missions” during Katrina. Since when does a stanking dog and even more stanking cats life trump a human’s?

Im sorry, God told me we were above animals. I will wear and eat one in a quick minute and will NOT save one over a human.

28 07 2008
Jo

I haven’t met many black people who have successfully switched to a vegan lifestyle. I imagine that a lot of our soul food and the like is based on meat–I mean, you can’t even cook greens without a hamhock in the pot.

I will say that I, like everyone else apparently, tried vegetarianism in college. I lasted about 24 hours–friends wanted to go out for hot wings and I couldn’t deny myself.

I am an omnivore leaning toward carnivorism.

28 07 2008
Knatural

I friend of mine recently told me she was going vegan; she’s been vegetarian for years and looks at veganism as the next step, but admitted she’d still wear leather, silk, wool, etc. Then, that’s not vegan, fool!

28 07 2008
Knatural

I = One. oops.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Meat is good. The only animal I ever had a problem with were pigs…they’re just nasty. Everything else it was what people did to them. I won’t do pork…beef if I can find something quality. Venison…aww man, I been looking for some good Venison. Fish (which is my favorite dish)…I recommend Chilean Sea Bass…buttery. I don’t really fuck with shellfish…I just know too much (damn discovery channel).

I’ve been wanting to see some PETA cat throw paint on someone and get their ass whooped. The only reason I would wear a fur would be to get the chance to do it myself.

To quote Fat Bastard: “You’re lower on the food chain…get in my belly!”

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

‘“Animals are delicious. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina. He also wouldn’t have invented hot sauce.”

Does vagina not taste good? Also the proximity between the words ‘vagina’ and ‘hot sauce’ made my eye twitch. Those two things should be kept far, far away from one another.

28 07 2008
Jen

“they are as bad as those retards who went on “PET rescue missions” during Katrina. Since when does a stanking dog and even more stanking cats life trump a human’s?”

YES, YES, YES.

This sentiment caused me to piss off a LOT of whit people when I expressed my opinion on Michael Vick. I was like, “Michael Vick is a father. You really expect me to support him being taken away from his children behind what he did to a DOG? KNOWING what you people do to ducks for foie gras, cattle for beef and horses for racing? SIT DOWN.”

28 07 2008
Jo

“Also the proximity between the words ‘vagina’ and ‘hot sauce’ made my eye twitch.”

My PF muscles involuntarily clenched. Unacceptable.

28 07 2008
Nice

Jo, that is tru. I tried to be vegetarian in HS- lasted for about a year. Then the chicken started calling me. I dont eat pork at all. I eat beef, but not on a regular. I LOVE seafood. I havent been able to eat a lobster in a few years since I read that they are the roaches of the sea- but theyre sooo good. I actually heard that all shellfish a dirty and only fish with gills are good for you, but oh well.

28 07 2008
Jen

@ST. I choose to believe that is a typo. I think he meant “God wouldn’t have made them taste like vagina.”

But even with my superimposed correction, I have to admit that he’d be wrong. My vagina doesn’t taste like meat. It tastes like peaches.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

The difference in teeth = Omnivore by the way. It’s not even about being better. I am one with nature…as such I will eat nature. If they really love nature they wouldn’t dis it. Animals know the way of things…that’s why I tell people not to be afraid of mice. They run because they know their place on the food chain.

28 07 2008
SheWhoMustNot BeNamed

@Jo…there are quite a few successful Vegetarian Soul Food joints, mostly run by Hebrew Israelites. Because Hubby insists on eating healthier (not that we really eat bad as it is), I plan to pick up their Veg Soul Food cookbook.

Pork is the only major no-no in my house. I don’t eat it, The Man doesn’t eat it and The Kid doesn’t eat it. But I don’t sit around lecturing my friends and family that do (so long as they don’t try to get cute and slip that shit to me or my kid). Not eating pork is my personal choice; just like being vegan is a personal choice. PETA and their ilk get the bird.

Did you know they tell their members who have diabetes not to take insulin because it’s made from a bovine hormone…but their VP takes it regularly? WTF is that? Hypocrisy to the nth degree.

28 07 2008
Omar

I hate anyone that cares more about dying animals than starving people…

I remember seeing some special where some save the animals people were saving pets from drowning in New Orleans after Katrina and there were PEOPLE still fucking stranded…

28 07 2008
Jo

@Jen: DEAD.

28 07 2008
Jo

@SWMNBN: really? Hmm…I’ll have to look up some recipes.

28 07 2008
Omar

Mike Vick kills dogs…

…Mike Vick goes to jail and loses a virtual fortune.

NYPD kills brothers…

…they are free and keep their jobs.

Fuck PETA

28 07 2008
tnt

cosign on omar

28 07 2008
Esquire

Omar,
I think we saw the same special. I just remember thinking…what the FUCK???
If you can take a boat and go to houses and get grimy little bastard pets, you couldnt at least pick a brotha up on the way out?

The white lady was crying and was all distressed about the poor pets….come the fuck on.

I also saw something where they were reuniting the pets with thier owners. I personally think the pets should have been put to sleep. Fuck anyone who says “pets are like family.” You BOUGHT, FOUND, or BRED the animal. You can do it again. PETS DO NOT EQUAL CHILDREN. I find myself wanting to murder people who make this equation.

Eat animals. Leave pets behind in a house fire. Im done.

28 07 2008
Esquire

wait..

“Free Willy??? Free my Uncle Willy!”

Im done for real now

28 07 2008
Monie

“Nobody would watch the Discovery channel if it included programs about herbivorous animals that weren’t being eaten or about to be eaten by carnivores, and there’s a damn good reason for it.”

Lol

28 07 2008
Omar

I am personally ont a pet person and I would send all those little bastards to poor people in China where they actually eat dogs…

I saw one asshole who was mad because he couldn’t bring his dog on the bus!! WTF!!! And the asshole from CNN had the nerve to be sympathetic for him and act like the officer who actually wanted to save PEOPLE was wrong!!!

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Esquire

I would save an animal with personality from a fire….if it just eats and shits, sorry. If it was cool ass dog that brings my paper and protects the kids, I’m saving it.

28 07 2008
SheWhoMustNot BeNamed

@Jo “The New Soul Vegetarian Cookbook” For some reason the site that had it is giving errors…but if you google vegetarian soul food you’ll find some different stuff.

28 07 2008
Knatural

Damn Esquire.
If I had no choice, I’d barbecue Fido in a heartbeat. I do agree that pets don’t equal children, but you do become attached to something you care for. No? Maybe its me. I have compassion for animals, especially pets rescued from abuse or neglect. If my house was burning down, I might try to save my dog.

*takes cover*

28 07 2008
confused@Vagina

So im confused- you don’t like the taste of vagina? or the vaginas you have taste, taste bad?

28 07 2008
Queen2B

I will go Cujo on some steamed crabs.

I am not into fur ; however, I dare PETA to even think about tossing paint on mom and her sorrors when they are decked out. Those ladies will cut you.

28 07 2008
sarah

i eat any and all meat. except frog. thats just nasty and tastes nothing like chicken.

28 07 2008
ayo

My son loves chicken so much, he used to include it in his prayers right along with cartoons and his family members.

28 07 2008
Esquire

Well Knatural,
I agree. I am not that harsh. I wouldnt let a pet just DIE if I could reasonably save it.
But I will not save an animal at my own peril.

I will never choose an animal over my husband, child, the man down the street, or any other human. (with the exception of Bob Johnson)

I will not go on a rescue trip for an animal before saving my human brothers and sisters.

I will not support or EVER EVER donate money to an animal cause. There are too many humans who need help.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Esquire

Of course not Bob Johnson.

28 07 2008
Jen

ayo – that is hilarious.

28 07 2008
Knatural

Ayo – I love that he prays for chicken and cartoons!

28 07 2008
JD

See what happens when you read angry Black people’s rants? You end up getting a meatball sandwich for lunch. Dammit!

28 07 2008
Yonnie3k

My vajayjay tastes like pancakes

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

My cooter tastes like honey and sunshine.

28 07 2008
Knatural

Yonnie – how do you know that?!?! Pray tell.

28 07 2008
B4Prez

You’ll are wrong for trying to send dogs to the crypt. Cats on the other hand….

28 07 2008
JG*

LOL I have so much respect for men who love the taste of Vag. 🙂

28 07 2008
puff

i cannot be a vegan for one (well, more than one, but this is the most important) reason:

the look on my african ass parents’ faces if they found out.

where i come from, not eating meat is just not a fucking option. that’s the bit of the meal people fight over, not the fucking vegetables.

@ esquire –

my sister went to school with an asian chick who said that she would give her life up for a rat. a motherfucking rat. that was enough to put me off animal rights shit for life.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

Hey now, I have a very white sensibility when it comes to animals. My little sister was inconsolable after my dog ran off when the painters left the gate open. My mom was thinking she wouldn’t tell me until the school week was over because I might panic and get depressed over it.

He showed up the morning after he took off on the porch with a frozen burrito wrapper next to him. My mom said that when she opened the door he just trotted into the house like it was no big deal.

BUT my point is, dogs/cats/whatever animal are like family members to me and I could never understand people who don’t treat their animals, if they have animals, as such.

And Micheal Vick deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life for fighting dogs and killing and mutilating them. A dog may be an animal but it still deserves to be treated humanely.

28 07 2008
gabrieloneverything

Animals are tasty. Pork was invented by Satan to kill off Blacks and Jews. Free Mike Vick…

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

Does it make me a bad militant for believing that Vick got a fair enough sentence? I mean, fuck. He had everything he could have ever wanted, but he wanted to keep it ‘hood’ and run a fucking dog fighting kennel. And do sick shit like electrocuting dogs, drowning them, havving the boy dogs run trains on the girl dogs. That, to me, is excessive animal cruelty. He violated a law and was punished. If you want to be mad at the law, fine. Petition to have it changed.

Now, when the NYPD shoots a brother and no one is punished, THAT makes me mad. I understand how the two subjects come up together, because White folks have made it quite clear that they favor animals before Black people. But I don’t like it when people make Vick out to be a political prisoner or a martyr. He’s just a sorry ass Negro who shoulda made better choices.

28 07 2008
Jen

“And Micheal Vick deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life for fighting dogs and killing and mutilating them.”

*silence*

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Michael Vick > People who own Race Horses

28 07 2008
Knatural

PUFF – A RAT! A fucking rat? Damn Asians…
A rat chased me down the street, half a block, in Columbia Heights (DC).
While leaving my now husband’s house near the DC Reservoir, TWO RATS literally ran across my feet, squealing and humping, or whatever rats do. You know a rat can have 100 babies in a year? A hundred. Nasty rat whore. Ugh. I hate rats. All rats. Rats have serve no purpose but to terrify me. *shudders*

28 07 2008
hb

hahahahahaha!! Funny, but I still won’t eat meat. I’ve been vegetarian my whole life and my 5 & 3 year old boys both have never touched meat. Both are extremely healthy (never more than a cold or fever from teething). I respect vegans for their diet, and often think about moving my diet slowly toward vegan. I unfortunately have a great love for milk, ice cream, cheese, etc.

Best part? My Jamaican husband of 8 years loves his meat, especially goat, cow head, chicken (he’ll be a chicken in his next life) etc… And we’re still going strong. He supports his boys being vegetarian, and I love him, even when he stinks up the house with his dead animals. (Don’t offer him pig, though, he won’t touch it with a 20 foot pole! Go figure.) He does eat my veggie hot dogs though!

28 07 2008
Knatural

Ok, maybe not a hundred rat babies…more like 50. But still. Ugh. I hate rats.

28 07 2008
Omar

It’s not that Mike Vick isn’t wrong but it is the contrast that is striking and cruelty is subjective. Sending horses to the glue factory because they can’t run is cruel as well, dog racing is cruel, removing tusks from an Elephant is cruel, putting wild animals in cages half-way around the world (the Zoo) just so some kid can point at it is cruel.

It is the selective righteousness when it comes to animals, and inconsistency when it comes to people that is a problem. Not to mention that the lethal injection they use for human beings was deemed inhumane for a dog.

28 07 2008
B4Prez

Mike Vick isn’t innocent now. True, the crime wasn’t human murder, but it wasn’t like he was running a ‘playfighting’ ring either. Another case of when keepin’ it real goes wrong. SMH

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Omar

You forgot running horses like machines before their body is old enough to handle it. Fully mature horses don’t break their legs just running hard.

28 07 2008
Vanita

3. Animals are delicious. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina.

EXCUSE ME?!?!?!

If my meal doesnt have meat in it, it doenst feel complete.

28 07 2008
stuffgirlslike

The problem with being a vegan is that you are not building up any iron, I feel sorry for vegans because they are missing out on that good thing, a nice smelling lamb ribs, oh my.

Plus you are forgetting that God told Noah to eat meat after the flood, well if God has ordained it that is good for me.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

28 07 2008
Omar

Oh I forgot about hunting…

…hunting is blatantly killing animals for fun, nobody eats the fucking quail that they shoot down with assault rifles. Technically if you aren’t using the animals for food or some sort of utility, then you are causing them harm for no good reason other than personal amusement.

28 07 2008
ayo

For the record, I am vegetarian about 4-5 days of the week. I like dairy products and fish therefore I will never, ever, ever give them up so fug veganism. I eat chicken about once a week and beef or pork rarely or never. I have done massive research on the whole industry, but I just cant get down because instead of making the campains about eating heathier, making smart choices, and avoiding food with hella additives (HFC and aspartamie) and stuff, they make it about the animals and their treatment. I make healthy eating choices, include lots of water, avoid fried foods, eat daily leafy greens and beans, and read labels and make my life about living and eating simply. Using ener-G egg relacer isnt.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Omar

What about “The Most Dangerous Game”? We get some guns give Bob Johnson a headstart and the whoever gets him claims whatever is in his pockets.

28 07 2008
Defiant

I very much disagree with the whole God put animals here for us to eat thing. We are after all obnivors and can live on a meet free diet. Not only that but factory farming has serious environmental impacts; further more all the grain and vegetibles fed to livestock in order for them to gain a single pound of meat for us to consume is a waste when half the world is staving.

No I’m not a vegitarian I was for only 4 month and never felt better while I was one, it was just the taste and cheepness of meet that brought me back to it although I do feel guilt to this day for eating them.

The problem is in factory farming I’m with Chris in regards to eating hunted meets they lived their lives in thier natural habitat… if you can kill it yourself you deserve the right to eat it.

28 07 2008
Omar

@Amadeo – I’m all in.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

Defiant: meat, cheapness

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Defiant

Once again the problem isn’t meat…it’s what people do to/with it. If we all stopped eating meat we’d further throw nature out of balance.

Like: I don’t kill spiders…spiders kill a whole bunch of other things I’d rather not have around.

If we let all animals just do their thing and we didn’t eat any something would overbreed.

28 07 2008
Knatural

vegetables

28 07 2008
JG*

If we let all animals just do their thing… I bet they would eat us….

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Bears are soul-less killing machines.

28 07 2008
confused@Vagina

@ Defiant

“No I’m not a vegetarian I was for only 4 month”

…4 months, that’s not being a vegan – that’s just being broke…keep it real..high gas prices – meat is the first to go!! don’t be shame..LOL

28 07 2008
ayo

There is no doubt that reform in the treatment of aminals raised for human consumption is necessary but does anyone think PETA would be happy if this actually occured? Not me.

Has anyone read the Eating for Your Blood-type book? Type O is supposed to eat lots or red meat.

28 07 2008
Omar

@Defiant – Half the world is starving because of economics, political unrest and a history of oppression. They aren’t starving because we eat meat they are starving because somebody stole all of the land and sends food out of the country for money rather than feeding it. Either that or drought. People have been eating meat long before factory farming…

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

“Animals are delicious. If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina.”

For your information, my vagina is delicious.

*takes my TMI and disappears into lurkdom again*

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Survey:
What does your Vagina taste like?

28 07 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

I’m appointing myself as the official taste tester…

28 07 2008
Omar

Umm…

…Vagina tastes like skin, the fluids may be a little salty but other than, nothing special unless you put whip cream on it.

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Ok, who is supporting the cause of the poor vegetables being eaten left and right? They are living things too, dammit! 🙂

Like with everything else, extremism is HIGHLY unattractive. PETA is just a very powerful (and surprisingly well-organized) tax write-off for bored people.

28 07 2008
Jen

@Omar – Blasphemer! Peaches are not salty!

28 07 2008
Knatural

Yeah, lets be real. It’s kinda salty, kinda sweet. It’s skin people, not a fruit salad.

28 07 2008
Vanita

This discussion reminds me of the song about chicken on Nas’s new album.

28 07 2008
Knatural

Oh. We’re fantasizing, sorry.
Um, well then, mangos. Yeah. Fresh mangos.

28 07 2008
Vanita

not the vajay-jay discussion, but about the food. basically he was rappin about how black people will eat the WORST foods, even tho it will kill your ass. Its called fried chicken

28 07 2008
dtang

Free Mike Vick and let him play. His value is immeasurable to the Atlanta Falcons and the NFL. Football is more important than some sketchy, inaccurate court report of dog fighting.

28 07 2008
Vanita

And my vajay-jay tastes very heavenly. its ambrosia 🙂

28 07 2008
JG*

Mine tastes like a combo between your G-mas’ Sunday Dinner Sweet Potatoes and Warm Apple Pie. If you’re into it, you can add an Ice Cube and have it ala mode.

LMAO @ myself.

I know this from hearsay and the oft feared post-cunnilingus kiss.

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Irish Cream and Strawberries over here.

28 07 2008
puff

cinnamon buns.

or so i’m told…

28 07 2008
Vanita

JG* why is the post cunnilingus kiss feared????

28 07 2008
Knatural

I know this from hearsay and the oft feared post-cunnilingus kiss.

This is feared?

28 07 2008
dtang

I tried being vegan for like a week but I gave in to a Wendy’s 3/4 triple burger and thought never again.

28 07 2008
Omar

@Jen – Oh, I’m sorry I’m married so I don’t lie as often…

28 07 2008
joy

I’ve been saying this for years: vegans canNOT be trusted!

Personally, I can’t imagine someone not wanting to take some nice ass steak and tear it the hell up, but that’s the rabid meat-eater in me. If I had more scratch, I’d probably do all organic and free-range stuff, but for now, it’s not in the budget. While those specials they show on agricultural farms are pretty nasty, what’s nastier is my attitude after not having meat for a couple of days.

Being in LA, I come across all kinds of crazyassbitches who will argue passionately about vegetarianism/veganism for hours, talking about how it’s so much more healthy and shit like that, then they go out and have a train run on them, chainsmoke a pack of cigarettes, and drink a keg of beer. Give me an effing break. They need to get off their high horse (that’s probably made of tofu anyway).

28 07 2008
gabrieloneverything

I left for half an hour and the talk went from Mike Vick to Vaginas tasting like dessert products. I’ve only tasted one, and it most certainly doesn’t taste like desert products. Maybe low carb ones…but I don’t mess with that stuff.

28 07 2008
ayomidejpw

This topic is funny; the comments wrote make it funnier. I love ALL meat, most vegetables and dogs as pets but I will not save a pet over a human.

My uncle claims that he is a vegetarian but let him go to Vegas that man will eat a steak for $3.99 (back in the day)

I couldn’t be a vegetarian. I am allergic to soy and I hate tofu! Tofu should never be a substitute for meat, flavored like meat or cooked like meat. Just eat meat. lol

28 07 2008
Esquire

@ Defiant
People dont hunt and kill animals themselves, just like we dont make our own soap, grow and cultivate our own cotton and textile it into clothes. Factories for cars and almost every other product we use do just as much, more harm than food factories. But I bet vegans wash thier asses and get on buses to go to thier protests and that paint PETA splatters is most likely not natural ink from a plant, etc.

If you can pay for meat, you deserve to eat it. Better yet, if you are human, you deserve to eat it.

Ill cosign with StuffGirls…If God told Noah to do it…Im pretty sure its good enough for me. Thats the religious argument (that I so hate) So I will offer this, meat is good for you and that shit tastes good. Eggs, chicken, shrimp, fish…all that shit is delicious.

28 07 2008
Vanita

I’ve only tasted one, and it most certainly doesn’t taste like desert products. Maybe low carb ones…but I don’t mess with that stuff.

LMAO!!! LIAR!!

28 07 2008
Esquire

“about how black people will eat the WORST foods, even tho it will kill your ass.”

Listen, fuck Nas. Okay I said. I never thought he was an awesome rapper/lyricist/ hi-hopper, whatever. I think he is someone who thinks he knows a lot and really doesnt. Anywho…that being said…

We are alllll living to to die. Something will kill us. Fried foods, chitlins, none of that shit is particularly good for you, but cigarettes, HIV (not Magic), and living a life of violence will kill you off much faster. I would rather die from meat slowly than from being shot or having lungh cancer. Of all the vices in this world, Fried meat is a pretty mild one.

I like Nas much better than Bob though. At least Nas had If I ruled the World and I can.

28 07 2008
Knatural

talking about how it’s so much more healthy and shit like that, then they go out and have a train run on them, chainsmoke a pack of cigarettes, and drink a keg of beer.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH The Smoking Vegetarian. When is smoking going to be a topic? Oh yeah, when you feel like it. That ALWAYS kills me. But then they say they’re vegetarians for ethical reasons, not just health reasons. Right.

28 07 2008
gabrieloneverything

I don’t mess with low carb dessert products. I plead the fif’ on vagina. lol.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Hmmm….so can I say my genitals (the whole package) are a flavor called Mocha Thunder?

28 07 2008
ayo

Regardless of whatever v-j’s taste like… I would hate to be a guy, however I am an advocate of them getting face down!!!! Loves it.

28 07 2008
ayomidejpw

Since most hippies are vegans, they don’t wash their asses. Come to here Berkeley, CA and you will find that out.

28 07 2008
ayo

Didst thou say F*ck Nas????? gasp.

28 07 2008
Esquire

Listen, fuck Nas. Okay I said.

Okay I said “it”

🙂 Dont render my argument moot.

28 07 2008
SheWhoMustNot BeNamed

You know…I think I read this blog more for the comments than the actual blog posts. *wonders if Heavenlei is the same one from OKP….*

28 07 2008
Vanita

@Amadeo – I think Mocha Thunder is not a good name for you *ahem* distingushed genitals.

28 07 2008
gabrieloneverything

…however I am an advocate of them getting face down!!!! Loves it

lol.

28 07 2008
Get Togetha

I can’t imagine not eating meat. I love it way too much to give it up and I would be cranky as hell if I couldn’t have chicken. Vegan looks good on paper; but most vegans I know eat bread, pasta and crap all day.

I’ll applaud anyone who has the discipline be vegan; but I’ll harm myself more than help myself if a sister can’t have a burger every now and then.

28 07 2008
Omar

I knew guys in college who used to get drunk every other night then would come into the cafeteria and tell me that soda is bad for me and that orange juice is too acidic.. please nucca worry about your liver…

28 07 2008
joy

@Knat – “Oh yeah, when you feel like it. That ALWAYS kills me. But then they say they’re vegetarians for ethical reasons, not just health reasons. Right.”

They always have some vague, hazy allusion to ethical reasons but can never be too specific because they’re just parroting some PETA bullshit they once overheard walking around overpriced Malibu. They’ll say some dumbass crap like “Eating meat is cruel to animals!” and when you ask how, they’ll make up some vague shit like “Death is painful” or whatever. The more advanced ones will mention slaughterhouses, but then their argument falls into a house of cards when you mention hunting your own game and fish. That’s when they start to look like Linda Blair from “The Exorcist”.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

ayomidejpw: I live in the Berkeley area. I got screamed at by one of those dirty hippies in the trees up by Memorial Stadium. I promptly screamed back that he should wash his dirty hippie ass and leave me the fuck alone.

My vagina smells like happiness and joy. And tastes like rainbows.

Amadeo: Your package should be called Chocolate Inertia.

I don’t even know what that means but it sounds good.

28 07 2008
Esquire

Yes, ayo, you are correct. Hairy armpits dont wash. But they wear shoes (sometimes) and use items that are not all environmentally sound.

I think that Amadeos comment about horse racing went unproperly unnoticed…that and dog shows, tying bulls’ nuts together at rodeos, is pointless, not very entertaining and is not so nice to the animal. But white people will not throw a fit about those things.

What Vick FUNDED, was wrong. But I am not sure if he knew all the mutilation, torture, breeding that was going on. Let’s say he didnt…terrible, but that at least does not shock the concious. I am not sure if he actually DID it. The men who actually DID the shit got less than him.

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

LMAO @ the survey, and the “oft feared cunnilingus kiss”. This is feared? Maybe I’m just nasty then, cause I ain’t scared. I mean it’s *my* va jay jay.

And much like how food choice affects the taste of ummm, man butter… it works about the same with lady juice.

28 07 2008
Esquire

why in the hell are the hippies in the trees like lil monkeys? Is this true? I have amental image in my head that I find extremely amusing.

@tomato….I peeped the use of the word “cooter” earlier.

28 07 2008
Jen

Out of order, Vanita. Out of order.

28 07 2008
Get Togetha

I eat meat; but too much of anything is not good.

http://www.gettogetha.com/blog/

28 07 2008
Get Togetha

BTW.

I love HotWings.

http://www.gettogetha.com/blog/

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

@SheWhoMustNotBeNamed yes, I’m is! the one and only ( or at least I’d better be)! Now I wanna know who you are over there?

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

LMAO @ “man butter”… Way to keep it classy… 🙂

28 07 2008
ayomidejpw

To TomatoHead: LMAO, I wish they would light the trees on fire so we could see the hippies scrambling to get down. I can’t believe Berkeley allowed them to live in the trees for months. That would not happen in the East Coast.

28 07 2008
8th Wonder

Mine tastes nirvana and everything in the chocolate factory, minus the oompa-loompa’s.

Hey errybody.

28 07 2008
Vanita

@ Jen – I was just suggesting that it was a poor selection LOL. Actually I like chocolate inertia…

@ heavenleiblu – No your not nasty. I also enjoy it. because its AMBROSIA!!!

28 07 2008
SheWhoMustNot BeNamed

@heavenlei…who I WAS hehe…I WAS the infamous cookie lady. Imagine my surprise that folks still bring me up two years later.

28 07 2008
ayomidejpw

to Esquire: yes there are protesters (hippies w/o jobs or a life) living in trees

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/06/berkeley-protesters-no-help-to-eco-movement.php

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Mocha Thunder too strong?

Chocolate Inertia is cool…but I like Mocha…everyone uses chocolate.

Perhaps Turkish Delight…Like the Narnia books..but I’m not Turkish.

BTW I smoke like a chimeny…Cloves, but still.

Hey stop dissing Nas!!!!

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Well, you know I do my best to keep it classy… NOT!

It’s fun to not always comport myself like a lady 🙂

28 07 2008
Knatural

Here’s the thing: a varied diet is key. We aren’t Neanderthals and shouldn’t eat all meat, all the time. But some meat, along with veggies and fruits is best for the colon.

Amadeo – just name ’em Rusty O’Balls and be done with it.

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Oh!!!!!!!! why you tell me that @ SWMNBN!!!! I must harass you for more, now.

28 07 2008
Jen

They say that if a woman hasn’t tasted her own vajayjay, a woman hasn’t had good sex.

28 07 2008
Omar

I personally think hippies ruined the world…

… hippies made the democratic party and all left leaning organizations look like crazy drug addicts and they lost all credibility. If there were no hippies there would be no Vietnam war, no involvement in Cambodia, neither Nixon nor Reagan would’ve ever been president and the world would be a much better place.

I hate hippies…

28 07 2008
ayo

Amadeo:
Cocoa Nuts N Log of Delight!

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

Cooter is the funniest word for vagina that has been conceived by man.

28 07 2008
Esquire

You can “hang” from a tree in SC if you want to.

28 07 2008
Knatural

They say that if a woman hasn’t tasted her own vajayjay, a woman hasn’t had good sex.

Jen – who is “They”? I wanna send them a thank you card.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Knat

I can’t sell that!!

28 07 2008
ayo

Ohhh. or nig-nog log.

28 07 2008
8th Wonder

Is no one going to comment on how Chris said he wanted to be a taste tester, though?

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

Esquire: Ouch…i literally made a stank face reading that last comment.

28 07 2008
8th Wonder

NIG NOG LOG!!!!!!!!!!

DEAD.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

HAHHAHAHA@ nig nog log.

28 07 2008
Knatural

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Nig-Nog Log! That’s perfect.

28 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO@ the ‘Name Amadeo’s genitals’ contest!

28 07 2008
Vanita

And the winner is ayo…

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

They say that if a woman hasn’t tasted her own vajayjay, a woman hasn’t had good sex.

Jen – who is “They”? I wanna send them a thank you card.

@Knat…. You and me both! 🙂

28 07 2008
Knatural

Actually, Nig-Nog Log sounds like a turd’s name…

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

1. The Bible says to eat “Fish and Foul” (it might be the other way around, but still, they’re animals).

2. I would NEVER give up on steak. I would go postal on ANYONE who fucks with my steak.

3. lol @ T-rex being an “animal that matters”

…no, I haven’t read any of the comments. Eventually I will. Probably after catching up on Weeds.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Now I’m trying to imagine a woman’s voice singing my praises using the term Nig-Nog Log.

“GIVE ME THE NIG NOG LOG!!!!”

28 07 2008
puff

@ jen – how does one go about tasting one’s own vajayjay?

i’m mad this shakesperean talk’s gotten itno me.

28 07 2008
Vanita

‘damn, did you SEEE his nig nog log???? yea girl!!!’

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

…wait, I saw the words vajayjay and cooter.

1. What did I miss?

2. Do I really want to know what I missed?

28 07 2008
Jen

8th Wonder – I am trying to restrain myself. hehe

FYI – when I say “they say,” I usually mean, “I say, but I probably shouldn’t aloud.”

28 07 2008
ph2072

I have a good friend who HATES vegans, especially the “Pan-African”, “conscious” ones. I’m passing this shit along to him LOL.

28 07 2008
ayo

LMAOOOOOOOO!!!!

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

@ puff…after he “kisses” both sets of lips…

28 07 2008
Vanita

@ puff – lick it off his face after hes done. *make sure you rub his face in it REAL good too*

28 07 2008
ayo

Generally a female tastes the ‘black girl juice’ (thanks jessica care moore) by kissing her man following intercourse, or getting a sample off of a nig-nog log.

28 07 2008
Knatural

WHOA Vanita!

28 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ Diva, who jumps RIGHT in the convo, not missing a beat!

28 07 2008
puff

@ vanita bwahahahaahaahahahaahahaahahahahaha *rolling around on the floor like a loon*

28 07 2008
ayo

faces and fingers and tounges count too.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

LOL @ Chaotic

28 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO! im goin back to work. Clearly Im not ready for this convo.

28 07 2008
Knatural

I like Ayo’s method…

28 07 2008
8th Wonder

Yeah Vanita you need a time out and a cold shower.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

Damn…ya’ll mushing dudes into Vageena Davis?

28 07 2008
ayo

Ike Turner style Amadeo… in the name of Tina for sure!

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Hey look, good sex is good sex. And good head is even better. Ladies, I say we “feed” our men.

28 07 2008
Jen

I think nig nog log deserves an urbandictionary.com entry.

28 07 2008
puff

damn you amadeo… vageena davis *smh* what about hairy undercover brother fist we get shoved in our faces? (i’m just saying… *ducks*)

28 07 2008
Knatural

Jen – why stop at urbandictionary…lets petition the medical community to officially change the name from “penis” (boring) to “nig-nog log”.

28 07 2008
ayo

I concur Jen… however it must indeed be a log to qualify. branches need not apply.

28 07 2008
ayo

We should write a book. “The Vageena Davis and nig-nog log chronicles their quest to kill Bob Johnson and for Chicken Wings and shit.”

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ ayo’s title!

28 07 2008
Amadeo

@ Puff

I ask before I use manual guidance. Actually I start soft and then ask if it’s cool as I ramp up…Then I Yell Mocha Thunder upon climaxing.

28 07 2008
Jen

“Then I Yell Mocha Thunder upon climaxing.”

*dead*

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Well, one things for sure: if I lived next to Amadeo, I would definitely know it.

28 07 2008
8th Wonder

You just gon’ yell Mocha Thunder, though?

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

omg, speaking of which, Miss ChaoticDiva. Apparently when I was still with the now ex-boyfriend, his friend told him that he could hear me in the process of fornication while he was walking down my block. He told the now ex-boyfriend that he must have been “gettin’ it right” and in our building, we were “that” couple.

I was severely mortified.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

With a mighty roar….

28 07 2008
Nicki

“Veganism – and its refusal to use the animals our Creator(s) put here for the purpose toward which they were created – is an affront to God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, Krishna, and Chuck Norris.”

I actually laughed out loud when I read that. My co-workers probably think I’m crazy.

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ Tomato!!!

Honestly, the only person that wouldn’t be mortified to hear that would be Samantha Jones…

28 07 2008
puff

@ amadeo bwahahahaahahahaha you should have that on a calling card

28 07 2008
ayo

Amadeo … have you ever had any strange reactions to your , ahem, ‘battle cry’?
Cause, I might just laugh myself to death.

28 07 2008
ayo

One time, a dude who shouldnt have been, was smacking my arse and i almost fell out laughing at the audacity.

28 07 2008
Amadeo

The Secret is do it well first…

That, um, one time…there was no roar.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

LOL ayo. Smacking the rear can be extremely funny. Just like bad dirty talking.

I enjoy the talking during sexy time but oh my gosh…when a guy says something funny, I just bust out laughing.

28 07 2008
ayo

Thank you TH… at least Im not the only one.
Amadeo: you a mess.

28 07 2008
puff

@ ayo lol it’s talking i can’t do… i dunno, unless it’s instructions, shit always sounds so ridiculously porno to me, so i start laughing… which tends to be a moodkiller. so i like silence… maybe some janet in the background or something.

28 07 2008
Vanita

What? yall dont talk? is there something wrong with me? *flipping through ‘The Art of Pole Dancing’ book I just bought for a co-worker…*

28 07 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH@Amadeo’s battlecry, like HeMan!

By The Power Of Grayskull, I Have The Power!

28 07 2008
JG*

Damn my Safari wouldn’t load and I missed a bunch!

Re: the Post Cun. kiss.. I fear it not. But I have heard many a girl say she dodges it. LOL

28 07 2008
aceklub

talking during sex is great… I am definitely a shyt talker as I think it provides more excitement as the girl talking smack is like a personal challenge to break her back out.

Also, talking while face down in da v-j is great and fun even though females don’t like it as much as they are trying to focus on the task. It is funny to watch girls get all flustered… 🙂

28 07 2008
Knatural

I am Amadeo. Prince of Negronia and keeper of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my nig-nog log and said… By the power of Grayskull!!!

28 07 2008
Vanita

I am Amadeo. Prince of Negronia and keeper of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my nig-nog log and said… By the power of Grayskull!!!

lmao!!

28 07 2008
Amadeo

LMBAO @ Knat

28 07 2008
The Doc Is In

Knat!! Lawd I can’t take your crazy ass.

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Oh no Vanita… You’re not the only one… I do the talking bit… when inspired…

Some dudes are just so corny, it’s not even worth the effort. It’s like just put in your nig-nog log, grunt and let’s go on with our day. Thanx much.

28 07 2008
JG*

Way toooo much goin on here. LOL I am on overload at these comments. Thank Goodness I didn’t have any work to do today.

28 07 2008
JG*

And I keep reading “veganism” as “Vaginism”

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

I am Amadeo. Prince of Negronia and keeper of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my nig-nog log and said… By the power of Grayskull!!!

LMBAO!

Straight out of The Negronia Chronicles: The Prince, His nig-nog log, and the Vageena Davis.

28 07 2008
Knatural

Talking? Depends totally on the timbre and conviction of his voice. If you have a girly, pip-squeak voice, please be quiet. And I’m with Sula, sometimes you just want to be done and go to sleep or continue with the day. Gasms truly sap the enegry like nothing else.

28 07 2008
Knatural

What’s “enegry”?

28 07 2008
Ms. Sula

Something that is bestowed upon a female when she encounters a nig-nog log?

🙂

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Question for the guys:

Which one of you eats vajayjay the best?

28 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO!!! How do you measure that Diva?

28 07 2008
The Doc Is In

Okay, I’m all mad late, but going back to the blog topic, I think there is evidence to suggest that humans aren’t really designed to eat meat, or at least for it to be as large a part of the average diet as it is…but really who cares. We’re not designed to fly but if we have the intellectual capacity to hook up a plane and make it happen, so be it! I certainly think people and the environment (CAFOs are GROSS) would be better off if we didn’t eat meat, but again it would be better off if we stopped doing a lot of shit…so suck Angus testicles PETA.

That being said, even though I’m pretty ambivalent about eating meat (and only do it on occasion myself), I do fully endorse the licking, sucking and slobbing of it. That should catch me up with the comments topic now 🙂

28 07 2008
ayo

Ask Chris… He SAID he’s the offical taster.
I vote for a taste test prior to entry on SBPH Air or company related functions… see Miami trip.

28 07 2008
Sister Toldja

I believe I own the rights to the word “Negronia”, and I do not licence it out to nerdiness. Negronia is the state of being in which Blacks reside, not some Lord of the Rings, Dungeons And Dragons or some other such foolishness of which I am too cool to deal with-ass shit. Be warned!

Humbly,
Sister Toldja
-Empress of Negronia b/w Wizard of Negridtude-in-training

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ ayo…

@ Vanita…I guess to measure, we’ll set up a contest for Miami. We’ll have a panel of judges (me, you, tomato, and the other sbph ladies), and we’ll have the guys who want to compete. We will give them a few shots of tequila to loosen them up, and then they will systematically go down the line of hotel rooms, wearing only boxers and a number taped to their chest. We will have a scoring sheet in each room with the judges. Whoever has the highest composite score wins!

…sorry, I know I’m a mess…

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

What if I wish to fly SPBH Airlines and do not submit to a taste test?

28 07 2008
Vanita

LMAO @ DIVA!!!!

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Question: Would vegans still be vegans if they eat vajayjay?

28 07 2008
aceklub

LOL @ SBPH V-J contest.

Contest #1 Aceklub….COME ON DOWN!!!

And of course, you know this contest will be followed with “Who can handle the nig-nog log the best” contest. I am sure there will be enough guy judges available from Chris, Amadeo, Landon and myself included. And of course, Chuck Norris

28 07 2008
Uninspired Muse

I…tried the vegan lifestyle for an article and only lasted a month before going on a meat bender with a Meat Lovers pizza.

Its not natural! No wonder these people are grumpy all the time, handing out those flyers….their friggin HUNGRY!!! EAT A STEAK, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

Chuck Norris leaves a path of orgasming ladies in his wake.

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

Chuck Norris…*drools*

28 07 2008
The Doc Is In

“Vanita (20:47:17) :
What? yall dont talk? is there something wrong with me? *flipping through ‘The Art of Pole Dancing’ book I just bought for a co-worker…*”

Vanita, does that book have a pink cover? If It’s the one I’m thinking of, it’s kind of lame. I don’t know if you were going for just a gag gift, but if the co-worker really wanted a book to teach tricks, I’ve got other suggestions.

28 07 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

*giggles @ all the contests jumping off*

28 07 2008
Yonnie3k

I just scanned the comments but…um…where do we line up so that SBPH and Amadeo can do the taste test?

28 07 2008
Yonnie3k

Where is Landon BTW? That nig nog ain’t workin’!

28 07 2008
The Doc Is In

Yonnie – wrong question girl! Where do THEY line up for the privilege of sampling the panty pudding?

28 07 2008
Kara S.

I dislike vegans with a passion. I especially hate when they try to impose their impractical values on everybody. They suck balls.

28 07 2008
Knatural

ST – You own Negronia? I guess you put that entry in Urbandictionary. My bad. I owe you $.47.

28 07 2008
Ariel

Hardy har har! That is the best scene in anchorman! I threaten to punt people over the bridge at all times.

28 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lol @ anchorman….

28 07 2008
shyGirl

All the vegans I know smoke cigarettes, are permanent alcoholics and drug addicts, and are so unhealthily skinny (from the heroin and meth I gather), or so overweight, they couldn’t run half a (city) block.

28 07 2008
TomatoHead

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwww….panty pudding!

29 07 2008
Angry IV

If Vegans really claim that they are Vegan, and they’re wearing leather shoes or a leather belt or anything made from animals, call them on their bullshit and watch the hilarity that ensues. Hahahahaha, stupid Vegans.

PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals

29 07 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ People eating tasty animals…

29 07 2008
Amadeo

Clit Commander

That is all

29 07 2008
ViK

Esquire – Eat animals. Leave pets behind in a house fire. Im done.

Can I get a witness! A couple weeks ago, the home of a congressional candidate (named Darcy Burner, natch) burned to the ground. Her husband and son escaped, her cat died and the house was a total loss. She kept talking about how all that was important was that her family survived, and was raked over the coals by animal rights activists.

What about your cat? The cat’s just property? Uhh…I think it’s more important the humans survived.

29 07 2008
Angry IV

Yeah I mean it’s a shame the cat didn’t make it, but it’s much more important that the family made it out alive. LoL.

29 07 2008
ViK

I can’t find anything vegan, but a vegetarian recipe or two for you.

29 07 2008
1LAW

So, I don’t care how fervently vegans and PETA campaign against meat-eating…will it ever become the law of the land? Ain’t gonna happen. To each his own and that’s where that ends.

…but on to the more important point here….if the author thinks vagina tastes bad, he should seriously reevaluate his choices in women. That is all.

29 07 2008
Justin

I agree with you that vegans are a bunch of dicks, but I can’t help but think of all of the good vegetarian food I’ve ever had.

Of course, most of this came from Eastern cuisines, so I’m not talking about Boca Burgers. I remember, for example, going to an Indian buffet in Fairfax that served some stunningly delicious (and spicy) Northern Indian food, and almost none of it contained any meat.

To me, it’s somehow okay because their tastes and reasons for being vegetarian go back thousands of years. Contrast that to modern American vegetarianism, which is often practiced for trendy reasons.

29 07 2008
Vanita

@ Doc…Yea it does have a pink cover…it was a part gag gift/part fyi. It doesnt help with the exercise/calorie burning? Well give me some books then!!

29 07 2008
Bajan Girl

Evening all…

“Veganism – and its refusal to use the animals our Creator(s) put here for the purpose toward which they were created – is an affront to God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, Krishna, and Chuck Norris.”

–Vegans and PETA are of the devil. God made all the animals then created man to have dominion over them, and God was the first person to make leather clothing. Please pass the steak and the leather trench thank you very much.

“I guess to measure, we’ll set up a contest for Miami. We’ll have a panel of judges (me, you, tomato, and the other sbph ladies), and we’ll have the guys who want to compete. We will give them a few shots of tequila to loosen them up, and then they will systematically go down the line of hotel rooms, wearing only boxers and a number taped to their chest. We will have a scoring sheet in each room with the judges. Whoever has the highest composite score wins!”

–alternating between laughing my ass off and being highly intrigued…

29 07 2008
nelo

San Francisco can be the suckiest place in the world sometimes. One of the reasons is all the vegans. Another is overpriced housing.

29 07 2008
Janus

I have a best friend who is a vegetarian but thankfully not for ethical or douchy reasons… I tried going vegetarian and I lasted for 3 weeks and then one day I said fuck it and I mash up some Chefette (read: i fucked up some fast food). I love all types of meat but I can’t fuck with the seafood except fish cause not only are those shit bottom feeders but I’m allergic. The next person who tells me how good shrimp is, I’m going to stab repeatedly.

Whoever said being vegetarian is cheap is a LYAH!!! Those 3 weeks were hell on my broke ass budget… buying lima beans and all kinda shit stupse.

ROTFLMAO @ the vajayjay eating competition

29 07 2008
puff

@ chaotic –

i once saw a girl wearing a t-shirt that said vaginatarian. im pretty sure she was a vegan too. ergo, the state of the vegan is oxymoronic, invalid and nonsensible, except if celibate.

29 07 2008
Knatural

Who said being vegetarian is cheap? Eating “healthy” in general costs an arm and two legs! I think it’s a conspiracy involving the government, drug manufacturers, gyms, and the school system: make bad foods cheap, cut out school PE programs, install vendings machines in schools that offer nothing but junk, make gym memberships $80 a month, and make soda cheaper than water (which is beyond ridiculous). All so folks remain unhealthy and sick, to buy more drugs, when all they/we have to do is exercise, drink water, and eats some carrots.

29 07 2008
Jo

I know that’s right. You can buy three boxes of Little Debbie Fatty Sugar Sponges for two bucks but you pay upwards of that for a pound of apples. It is so much cheaper to be unhealthy.

Good morning, happy people.

29 07 2008
29 07 2008
Alph Dapalf

Every time I look at those wings I get a rummbly in my tummbly.

29 07 2008
www.anythingblack.net

nigga fuck vegans. for real. put a vegan in a room with a lion, and lets see what goes down

29 07 2008
4m_no_2_dc

PeTA people are funny as shit….
they are always doing some crazy shit to piss people off.
with that being said:

I’ll crush the shit out of pork, chicken, beef, rabbit, deer, turtle ….. the list can go on and on…. and if someone from PeTA did something fuck my food, i’d beat that ass to no avail!!!! since we all are animals, if you fuck with me while i’m eating, i’m gonna probably beat your ass.

29 07 2008
creativecat

I’m not a vegetarian, but I do care about animal rights. I am VERY against testing on animals and very supportive of no-kill animal shelters. PETA offends me personally because they euthanize more animals than nearly any other organization.

And vegans are just dumb. How the hell is HONEY cruel to animals? And the vegans who don’t believe in breast-feeding are the dumbest of the dumb.

30 07 2008
riz

I used to be a vegetarian, for about 10 years. I started when I was young an impressionable. Now, I eat sushi, turkey and chicken sometimes. Haven’t had red meat since I was 12 years old. I do believe in animals rights and I do think that it can be healthy (when done right), but that’s not why I’m still veg. Now, it’s just out of habit. I don’t think much about it.

The only thing that I hate about animal rights activists is that they use their fondness for animals to justify that they are admirable, moral and caring people. But then they go treat other human beings like dirt. Does anyone remember that picture from Katrina, when there was a bus full of dogs that had been rescued? The dogs each had their own seat on the bus. The humans, on the other hand, were loaded onto trucks and shoved into shelters like… well.. .dogs… Then there’s that famous New York rich lady who left her entire estate to her dogs. Originally she claimed that she was going to leave it to the poor people of the city.

30 07 2008
veggiegrlnc

I went to school with a guy who loved cunnilingus. So much that his nickname was Lickimus Prime. And he didn’t even care.

Vegetarian here. Not a vegan because i will eat an omelet made with organic, free range eggs.

Against animal cruelty, human cruelty, all that ish. I despise MiKe Vick. Lets be real, ole boy didn’t just fight dogs, he had an interstate dog fighting ring and routinely abused animals. Not to mention he spreads herpes, does drugs, and is generally not a really good dude.

I love my dog and I would try to save him in a fire. After I got all the humans out.

30 07 2008
SUPREME

This is why I think Chipotle is the greatest fast-food joint ever:

All the animals they use are free range and fed naturally. No steroids, hormones, or anything else that would make a chicken have three beaks…

I don’t think I could ever go vegetarian, but I do make sure that I eat organic and free-range foods (as often as possible at least)…

30 07 2008
brran1

So wait. I don’t get it. You can chose not to eat or use meat based products, but if you think about it, doesn’t animal shit fertilize grass and all the vegetables and crap that vegans chose to eat? So in away, aren’t you still using indirectly consuming the byproduct of an animal in a way?

Idk about the rest of yall, but i’m not giving up meat. No way, no fuckin how.

*goes back to eating fried chicken*

30 07 2008
brran1

*that should be …aren’t you still indirectly consuming the byproduct…

30 07 2008
veggiegrlnc

brran1, i think the issue for vegetarians and vegans is that they may be indirectly consuming the byproduct, but that doesn’t require that the animal be killed or treated in an inhumane way. for veg’n people that are so because of the treatment of animals, the fact that the animals live in mostly filthy conditions, get sick, don’t have access to fields like an animal should, and are slaughtered usually without a quick death is why they don’t consume animal flesh.

its not like these animals live decent lives grazing fields. most of them unhealthy slop and are fed steroids so that they grow quicker, thus the turnaround time from life to your plate is reduced.

31 07 2008
loripop

“If we weren’t supposed to eat them, then God would have made them taste like vagina” Well, that just shattered my geeky internet crush on you. Then you volunteer to be the taste-tester? Now you’re just playing with my heart.

31 07 2008
chaoticdiva

…I’m surprised PETA hasn’t taken actions against Lions, Tigers and Bears for eating animals…after all, they kill their prey in the most vicious manner by shredding them to bits with their sharp teeth and claws…

31 07 2008
letinstar

i like meat…i eat meat…except the pork…whatever….

7 08 2008
Ian

I’ve been vegan for twelve years, and I’ve never told a single person to even consider trying it–in fact, I hesitate to talk about it at all, even when asked “why” because it’s simply a personal thing.

And you know what? I think I’m pretty typical. Big surprise–the loudest, dumbest mouths of any particular group you can name/create become the public image of said group. Why would you think it were any different with vegans? PETA doesn’t speak for me–they’re the only people in fact I will stand down and give a talking to about veganism, on the subject of getting some damned priorities in life.

Anyway, I hope with time you’ll meet a few more representative vegans–and don’t judge us by anyone who says they’ve been vegan less than a couple years, because they’re almost certain to be a proselyte preacher at that point, who feel it’s truly their responsibility to help others by sharing their good word. That’s not what living as a vegan means, once it’s really just a part of your life you’d never confuse it for being the whole of your life.

7 08 2008
BenAfficial

“A deer will also rape you and, if successful, eat you”

BWAAHAAAHAAAA…
Yo that’s funny as hell.

8 08 2008
7 01 2009
healthy legz

I am very concerned about my health. I have tried the full- fledged vegan thang. That fell through. I love me some sardines, salmon, and shrimp. When I have an attack that can’t be ignored, I head to that little ol’ Popeye’s and take care of myself. I don’t believe in the abuse of animals. I also don’t belive in the abuse of my body by eating unhealthy food constantly. What I do believe in is moderation baby!

22 06 2009
Vera

I was raised a veggie and at 23 have still never had a steady meat diet so it’s never really been a challenge for me to “survive without” whatever. I’m grateful that I’m used to a veggie diet because I hate the idea of battery farms and piggeries for obvious reasons but if i needed to for health reasons i would eat meat, no real dramas.

so, standing very much beside my high horse, i would like to point out that the crux of your article asserting that not eating meat is an affront to God is irrelevant to a large number of people, including myself. Eating various kinds of meat is a cultural habit which, managed well, is not a problem. The Western world (the only one i feel I have an authority to comment on) does not manage this well, ethically or environmentally, so I say more power to anyone bringing attention to a system which is cruel and exploitative.

I never argue with or get offended by meat eaters because it is far too boring and usually get retarded arguments like the affront to God thing or “it’s natural”. I’m healthy, don’t need meat. I wouldn’t keep a cat in a cage in a bright room and remove it’s teeth and claws, so I don’t eat food that’s raised the same way.

Plus, nothing tastes better than a meal with a side dish of self satisfaction…

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