Thoughts for Thursday: Hilarity

26 06 2008

For those looking for a good way to waste time at work, these two sites should keep you busy for quite some time:

http://www.tard-blog.com
http://www.tuckermax.com


Figure 1: Just…wrong.

You will laugh so hard, you’ll wet your pants. Unless you suck.

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83 responses

26 06 2008
Jen

Tucker Maxx is fucking evil!!!

But, I read half his book when I was doing study abroad bc some douchebag brought it along with him.

Somebody is going to hell for this “tard blog”.

26 06 2008
Esdotto

Tucker Max… easily one of the ballsiest, nonconformists ever to walk the earth.

26 06 2008
alcrayto

I was excited to be slack and enjoy the websites. I hit the right click; open in a new window….then…these jerks show me the Company logo and give me the “inappropriate website” message. Boooooooooo. Thanks anyways

26 06 2008
26 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

OMG, Chris!!!!!! I love tard-blog!!!!! I got on it about 2 weeks ago…. so damn funny….tards a ree-tees…… i love it!

26 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

dustin….. what the hell is that shit for…. is it really for down syndrome kids? LOL….LMAO!

26 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Okay, this Tard Blog has totally fugged up my equilibrium this morning. I’m going to hell for laughing at it…That story about the mother of the Sped kid who tried to off herself THREE times and still couldn’t do it has made me hate humanity even more than I already do.

That Tucker Max site looks interesting, but I realized I can’t look up a lot of it up here at the plantation when I saw some of the entry titles…

26 06 2008
Jen

The one about the author being accosted by her special education student while on a date was CLASSIC. CL ASS IC.

26 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I’m about a 12-page application away from being certified to teach Secondary English here in Georgia, and they are pushing teachers really hard to teach Special Ed (there is extra $ to do it), but I already know I don’t have the patience to do it. I may sound like an asshole, but whatever. We all have a purpose in life.

My parents and grandparents would always tell me that if you laughed at mentally challenged kids, your kids would turn out that way. Now thanks to me LMAO at this site, I’m paranoid again…

26 06 2008
JazzyRae

i worked with a special education kids for a while and i had a little girl get completely naked everyday while trying to sit on one of her classmates lap…and did it i mention that she has a SEVERE drooling problem….

26 06 2008
Not_Shaniqua

Now you know we (at least I) cant look at these websites at work! One ofthe filters Popped up calling the website ” Tasteless” LMAO. Sure there are funny! DAYUM TOO BAD

26 06 2008
Not_Shaniqua

From reading the comments I have no dougt I might Laugh a bit but still it’s not right to laugh at these people. Especially the kids. Come on now WRONG JUST WRONG

26 06 2008
B

Haha, I used to read tard blog… cracked.com is also beast.

26 06 2008
Esquire

Dang, I cant access it from work either. Probably a good reason.

26 06 2008
shabooty

Dreamin’, I must be dreamin’
Or am I really lying here with you?
Baby, you take me in your arms
And though I’m wide awake, I know my dream is comin’ true

And oh I just fall in love again
Just one touch and then it happens every time
There I go by, just fall in love again and when I do
I can’t help myself, I fall in love with you

Magic, it must be magic
The way I hold you when the night just seems to fly
Easy for you to take me to a star
Heaven is that moment when I look into your eyes.

And oh I just fall in love again
Just one touch and then it happens every time
There I go by, just fall in love again and when I do
I can’t help myself, I fall in love with you

Can’t help myself, I fall in love with you

26 06 2008
alex

My dad is a special ed teacher… I hear stories like the ones on Tard Blog all the time.

26 06 2008
vitazza

No!! to Tard Blog they just can’t help it …..but I Heart Tucker Max:)

26 06 2008
Dustin

OMG! Tucker Max went to my law school. Seriously. And why should I be surprised? He reminds me of every guy there. I’m going to see what year he graduated. Maybe we were there at the same time.

26 06 2008
JG*

Oh I’m going to burn in hell for laughing at Tard Blog… the one where the kid smashed the bird egg and some kids cried while some wanted to see inside.. awesome… And then this little gem:

“This is only one of many things that has occurred today. I am in my room, waiting for my 11:00 group to show up for math. It is 11:09, I begin to wonder where they are. Then I remind myself that they are retarded, and stop wondering.”

Oh… burning in hell!!!!

26 06 2008
Cola

The Tucker Max blog is funny! I just can’t do the Tard blog!

26 06 2008
Esquire

He graduated in 2001. He sounds like most of my classmates too. I hate them

26 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Are we just going to act like Shabooty didn’t inexplicably post the lyrics to a love song by an old Canadian lady?

I can’t deal with Tard Blog. Having taught kids with special needs before, and considering the many, many, many things I have done that might land me a place in Hell, I am gonna vote no. Plus, my biggest fear in the world (behind getting shot to death or never getting married or getting vitaliago) is having a ‘special needs child’.

Tucker is hilarious!

26 06 2008
Sister Toldja

But I hate his guts.

26 06 2008
Merri Lee

I thought today’s post would be about SCOTUS striking down DC’s handgun ban. Chris can finally defend himself from his KreyolStalker.

26 06 2008
puff

damn tucker max for the anal sex story… i read that my freshman year and almost died of laughter cramps… damn. after that, no what what in the butt for me.

26 06 2008
kortni ayo

i read the anal sex entry and was rolling b.c my friend boo-booed on her jump off while practicing butt love. oh my gosh. she said he was like, go to the bathroom with your ishtty azz.

26 06 2008
kortni ayo

Did anyone see this on tard-blog:

34: More Tyrell stories:
He brought a steak knife wrapped in a towel to school. He took it out on the playground to threaten a kid who had been making fun of him. Told the kid that “If you mess with me you’ll have to mess with this. And I’ll be rapping at your eulogy baby.”

I nominate this for the most gangsta saying ever!… ‘rapping @ your eulogy baby???’ whut?!

26 06 2008
blackberry molasses

completely off topic but Karl Rove really needs to die a slow and painful death… i propose hanging him by his toes and covering him in honey and fire ants…

read
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/26/obama.rove/index.html

26 06 2008
Pariah

Tard-blog is awesome! Thanks for the link.

26 06 2008
Sister Toldja

I spoke too soon. I hate Tucker Max. I wish he would die.

26 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I read about 2 stories on Tucker Max before I realized I hate this douchebag and I want to punch him in the face on general principle, but he’s a hilarious asshole.

Sigh…

26 06 2008
JaBe

A co-worker and I decided to read the 2nd entry of Tucker Max’s blog. We concluded that Tucker Max tells very tall, entertaining and funny tales.
lol @ poop chute.

26 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Sad thing is Tard-Blog.com is soon to be my favorite website when I’m not on yours…

As for Tucker Max, I refuse to read.

26 06 2008
Soup Kitchen Scoundrel

Tucker Max is the pWn. Duke Law…if I were White he’d be my hero. In fact he most likely is my hero.

26 06 2008
defiant

Tucker is alright he’s justa bit too much at times. The first story at the sushi bar was perfect the rest just seems a but over the top.

26 06 2008
defiant

a bit over the top that is

26 06 2008
Laurel

Tucker Maxx??? Yeah right. I just suck like that. 🙂

26 06 2008
Landon

that anal story on tuckermax is crazy
still laughing

26 06 2008
Vanita

Yea, I cant look @ those sites on the Gov’ment computer yall!!
But Ima go to the bathroom and look @ them on my phone LOL

26 06 2008
chaoticdiva

*reluctantly reads Tucker Max*

26 06 2008
Landon

sure diva

26 06 2008

So you’re cheating on me landon? over here being fast in the thursday post huh?

26 06 2008
Soup Kitchen Scoundrel

One of the funniest stories is about the fat girl. It is so wrong, but it is hilarious.

26 06 2008
puff

fuck me tucker max is hilarioussss i want to get crunk with him

26 06 2008
shabooty

heh sista toldja
thanks for noticing.

that song is best performed by artie lange.

26 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

The story about Tucker going to the strip club in Dallas and shatting himself in the hotel in Austin have ethered my soul this afternoon. I can’t get any work done today!

26 06 2008
Vanita

OK. Tard-Blog??? HIL-Fuckin- Larious. I kno the gov’ment is gonna ban that site soon…Tucker max is DEFINETLY blocked. Cites “Adult Content” as the reason…

26 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I had to stop reading Tard Blog…b/c I haven’t had my own children yet.

Tucker Max is blocked. It’s probably for the best.

26 06 2008
Soup Kitchen Scoundrel

Adult content…wtf…you are grown. Tell your cpu this.

26 06 2008
Alph Dapalf

I read the butt-sex story.

no more.

26 06 2008
Vanita

Its teh gov’ment folks!! Vikki Secret is blocked because of ‘adult content’!

26 06 2008
Landon

Ne:

what you talking about…

you know i wouldnt..

26 06 2008
Angry IV

Esdotto, good to see you’re still around.

26 06 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ Tucker Max. Much funnier than I expected. He still is an ass, but he got what he deserved…

26 06 2008
Knatural

Sorry, off topic: The Supreme Court says DC can have guns now??? Bullshit!

26 06 2008
chaoticdiva

lmao @ yonnie’s comment about the kids.

I feel bad for laughing.

26 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Knat – yeah, fantastic. I’m getting out of here just in time. Oh wait, I’m moving to Bodymore…fuck!

26 06 2008
Angry IV

Supreme Court off the chain. Where’s my Glock?

26 06 2008
Vanita

Yup thats why im leaving DC.
“forty degrees when I tell that bitch please”

26 06 2008
Vanita

oh damn, i am moving to Killadelphia. FUCK!

26 06 2008
Angry IV

Suburbs or die.

26 06 2008
shabooty
26 06 2008
Dustin

Nope. I did not go to law school with Tucker. But several Tucker-esque characters.

His stories are long.

26 06 2008
Bassey

After 2 weeks of trolling the site, I can’t believe that this is what’s making me delurk.
I feel like I’m not hearing this enough:

I FUCKING HATE TUCKER MAX! Who is he?? I youtubed him and he isn’t even cute enough to warrant any of this publicity. Not that you need to be cute to justify assholishness but my God who are the women who are sleeping with him? STILL sleeping with him enough for him to write 2 more books?? I’m very confused.

26 06 2008
TomatoHead

How many of us looked at the Tucker Maxx website and immediately read the buttsex story?

26 06 2008
Felicia

There is so much hatred for Tucker Max in this world that my blog still gets several hits a day from people Googling “Tucker Max shithead” and “Tucker Max Must Die.” I wrote a blip about his shitty book a long time ago. Not a fan, but I almost think he might be making up a persona. Is he even smart enough to do that?

26 06 2008
Felicia

There is so much hatred for Tucker Max in this world that my blog still gets several hits a day from people Googling “Tucker Max shithead” and “Tucker Max Must Die.” I wrote a blip about his shitty book a long time ago. Not a fan, but I almost think he might be making up a persona. Is he even smart enough to do that?

26 06 2008
Felicia

There is so much hatred for Tucker Max in this world that my blog still gets several hits a day from people Googling “Tucker Max shithead” and “Tucker Max Must Die.” I wrote a blip about his shitty book a long time ago. Not a fan, but I almost think he might be making up a persona. Is he even smart enough to do that?

26 06 2008
Bassey

Felicia, I have to agree. I watched a clip of a “lecture” he did at Duke. He didn’t seem “easy” telling the stories. Like he was rushing through them. If they were true, you’d think he’d have perfected the storytelling. If he was nervous then I question the veracity as well because how are you nervous telling the story about how you flew from NY to Milwaukee because your dream of sleeping with a midget was about to come true… but not nervous actually DOING that shit? And, ladies, talk to me for a second, wouldn’t his name be completely useless if he tried it on more than 3-4 girls in the same area. There’s no way he’s throwing fat chicks out and butt sexing models in Miami and NOBODY said “Don’t fuck with the pasty ass, Michael Rappaport without a gym membership” dude? And sure a few people sued him but I venture to think those few might have been based on true stories and the rest were stories he heard other people tell when he was hanging out at bars by himself. And when I say “based on a true story”, I mean in that Lifetime movie way where the only thing that’s true is “once there was a lady who’s husband killed her” and the rest is just some writer who hates his wife taking it out on her in “moment of truth” fury.

Also, he’s a shit writer and I’m pissed he had a three book deal.

27 06 2008
letinstar

i’m going to hell…and i see, i’m not alone…

27 06 2008
Angry IV

“I FUCKING HATE TUCKER MAX! Who is he?? I youtubed him and he isn’t even cute enough to warrant any of this publicity. Not that you need to be cute to justify assholishness but my God who are the women who are sleeping with him? STILL sleeping with him enough for him to write 2 more books?? I’m very confused.”

While Tucker Max’s stories are entertaining, I them hard to believe.

27 06 2008
8th Wonder

I’m going to read these now.

I’ll be back.

Did yall really need to know I was reading and would be right back? Probably not. Sue me.

27 06 2008
8th Wonder

OMG the tard bum rushing the elderly woman had me in tears. I need to repent.

27 06 2008
chaoticdiva

@ 8th

“…All from a tard trying to give her a hug.”

27 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

I know this is wrong, but there is man whose name is Wesley Willis and he has schizophrenia, and i shouldn’t laugh, but he makes music….one of his songs can be heard in the documentary “Super Size Me” (the song is called rock and roll mcdonadls); ironically enough, this man is obese…. an obese schizo….

here a link of his music video, alanis morrisette…

LMAO….

this is not a joke… and people are calling him a “musical genius”

27 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

I’m sorry…. I didn’t know that man died….
sorry 😦

27 06 2008
chaoticdiva

has anybody seen this video?

I thought he was retarded until I read in the comments he was a comedian…but funny as hell!

27 06 2008
Jen

Feel free to laugh! Willis was intentionally being comedic.

The first time gem I heard from him was Suck a Cheetah’s Dick.

I was in the library studying for finals. I nearly teeteed on myself.

27 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Um, why does Willis remind me of Uncle Ruckus (no relation)?

27 06 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Dammit I thought tardblog was my little dirty secret.

27 06 2008
8th Wonder

Okay, I’m sorry to come back to this, but I read ALL of those damn tard blogs in one night.

THIS was by far my fave: http://www.tard-blog.com/archives/entries/ndpn/41_augusta_gets_fed_up_tries_to_kill_classmate.phtml

30 06 2008
ChaoticDiva

“wouldn’t it be funny if you snuck a camera into Costco and secretly took a bunch of pictures of fat people. Then put them all on a website and call it http://www.piggiesatcostco.com. [Ed. note-This is not a real website].

hil-fucking-arious.

http://www.tard-blog.com/archives/entries/ndpn/16_every_student_is_funny_in_their_own_way.phtml

7 07 2008
Katie

I am so dissapointed that you find Tucker Max hilarious. I really enjoy your blog and think you’re funny, insightful, wise, and all those good things, and Tucker Max is none of those things. You are so superior to him. I am enraged. All his stories are exactly the same: I got really drunk with all my douche bag friends, fucked a midget/fat chick/random girl that I’ve been dating and decided to let one of my friends film while we had sex, treated aforementioned girl like shit, and then wrote about it in a non-funny way and through the whole thing talked about how funny I am. Chances are, if you have to mention how funny you are, you are not funny. I would be totally fine with all the other stuff (drunk, douchebag friends, fucking midgets, treating girls like hell) if it wasn’t for that last thing. He’s just not funny. You are funny. You are better than Tucker Max. Infinetely so. And it makes me very mad that he was on the NY Best Seller list and is going to have a movie coming out and people give a fuck about him. And you don’t. (Except for that last one. I’m pretty sure that people give a fuck about you. Not that you care about my opinion, seeing as how I am a member of at least one of the groups you constantly deride: white chicks with flat asses. I have a pair of those Apple Bottom jeans and am painfully aware that the only thing apple shaped about my bottom is the pockets on my jeans.)

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