Persians

20 06 2008

Attention Indignant Persians: please read http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog before reading this entry and getting your magic carpet in a knot. Thanks.

The Georgetown Waterfront is one of that only places in DC that doesn’t suck anymore. From March – October, you can hobble your angry ass down to Georgetown Waterfront Park and enjoy drinks outdoors by the water, grab insanely expensive food (with insanely-er bad service) from Sequoia restaurant, and watch scantily clad women walk between M Street and the water while pretending to be indignant about the negative sexual attention they draw to themselves.

Unfortunately, there is one thing about the waterfront that sucks: Persians.

The favorite pastime of the sons of rich Persian oil and IT barons is to get a bunch of their greasy Ferrari-jacket-wearing douchebag friends together, hop on a Sea Ray, and park that motherfucker on the improvised dock in front of the harbor. I’ve included a diagram below to point out the interesting sights you’ll see there:

Figure 1: Click on the image to zoom in

When you park your boat at the dock, you’re within sight of the many women sitting around the bars and restaurants looking for dudes on boats to fuck, but you’re not close enough for them to distinguish your youthful awesomeness from the 50+ year old rich white dudes who’ve also parked their Sea Rays and are gallivanting about in the company of their Stepford wives, Abercrombie sons, and golden fucking retrievers.

So what’s the prospective Persian suitor to do? Blast god awful techno music, of course! Somehow, these sandbags* have convinced themselves that a perpetually alternating woofer-thump and stochattic cymbal is precisely what makes the pussy go “ooh whee.” After all, if it works in porno, it must work in real life. Techno music is so effective at attracting women, in fact, that you never see any women on a Persian boat. This is because their reaction to the electronica, combined with the pungent stank of the Persians’ Sex Panther cologne, has caused all women in the area to orgasm so hard that they literally disappear into thin air.

Figure 2: Persians do not realize this is a comedy

Surprisingly, water-borne Persians are by far the least annoying type of youthful sandbag. That’s because they save their atrocious A-game behavior for the club.

Persians are very easy to spot at a club. Just look for the following telltale signs:

1.) Hair. On a Persian, it will invariably have at least 3 or 4 thousand pounds of gel in it. Nothing drives the ladies wild like a grown man looking like an olive-skinned anime character who may or may not have dynamite strapped to his chest underneath his…

2.) Armani Exchange** Shirt. What better way to say “I’m a pompous shitbrick” than by letting everyone know you paid $60 for a lousy t-shirt? None, dammit!. It’d be rude to actually go up to girls and say “hey, I’m rich. I got a $60 t-shirt”, so instead the Persian takes the humble route and buys the shirt with ‘ARMANI EXCHANGE’ or ‘A|X’ in shiny silver 1,418,071 point font across the chest.

Figure 3: Asshole

This in-your-face fluorescent logo makes it noticeable even in the awesome presence of his…

3.) Jacket of Random Italianness. Girls love Italian shit – sports cars, shoes, handbags, ice – so your Persian ass had damn well better make sure your outfit includes an Italian element. The best way to do this is by wearing a jacket featuring an easily recognizable Italian theme. This is why you see mongoloid sandbags wearing red Ferrari jackets, or red/white/green jackets with an Italian flag and the word ‘Italia’ written in giant retard print across the back.

Figure 4: Asshole, Stage 2

This jacket is never a normal length jacket – it always stops a couple inches above the waist so that a.) it looks like a genuine racing jacket, and b.) it doesn’t cover up the logo on his…

4.) Horrifyingly Expensive Designer Jeans. That’s right folks, only Diesel or True Religion jeans are worthy of encasing the decidedly flat and hairy buttcheeks of the sandbag in their sweet denimy embrace. Wearing anything else would say to the ladies “my jeans cost less than $250, so there’s no way I’d be able to buy you a new set of tits every three years.”

Figure 5: Why would you want pants with a picture of a crane attacking your cornhole?

The sandbag stands tall and proud as the ladies take in the jeans’ fake fade, giant pre-cut holes, and painted-on wrinkle patterns…and they have to practically FIGHT themselves not to jump right on his cock when they see his…

5.) Shoes of Random Italianness. The shoes must always match the jacket in both color and refined sportiness, so the Persian sandbag will be seen wearing some sort of Ferrari-brand Pumas at least 110% of the time. Don’t be afraid if you accidentally scuff his shoes though, because Puma-related homicides are exclusively committed by black people.

*This is what I call douchebags from the middle east.
**I’ll admit that I own a lot of shit from Armani Exchange. But unless you get within six inches of me, you’ll never know it, because I’d sooner die than buy the shit where the AX label is clearly visible

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252 responses

20 06 2008
shabooty

$$$

20 06 2008
brran1

You can have all those Yachts and overpriced clothes, but at the end of the day, your body hair still constitutes 2/3 of your body weight.

*sigh* I wonder what Chuck Norris would think of this…

20 06 2008
Muse

Chris are you sure you aren’t talking about Persians from LA?!

Hahaha

20 06 2008
tiffer

OMG Chris…that is SO funny, and SO TRUE (based on what I’ve seen). When I first moved to the DC area about a year ago, I saw a lot of olive skinned people wearing AX and walking around in Tyson’s Corner Mall lol. They also wore Gucci jackets and extremely loud Dior lol. I wondered where these people came from, I mean, hey, they looked hot, but like they were trying SO hard…and they always seem to have a white girl on their arms or one of their own…dang…guess they wouldn’t want a broke black girl? Shucks! j/k

20 06 2008
Saun

I hear that Persian shyt and say “whatever man, you from Iran. Stop trynna make that shyt sound exotic.” I’m sure some will try to debate the whole Iran/persia thing….I know….I just don’t care. I hate how I wanna hate and I hate hard. Damn what a wikipedia say.

20 06 2008
Wilfred

Funny ass post, dude. I live in Glendale, CA, and I see this same shit with Armenians as well. It must be some sort of entertainment racket that they’re all into. On a side note, how can you buy from A/X. That’s just Armani for poor people.

20 06 2008
Ouchie McGowchie

The dynamite comment was a bit much.

20 06 2008
Digga

Make’s you wanna go 300 … in real modern life.

THIS … IS … TACKY!!!!!11!!

*kick’em off the dock*

20 06 2008
webloafer

WOW, found a place to loaf more at….lofmorat….screw you borat….
Entirely taken to great funny places in the serious sky by this blog.
Dude, Bro, Hey You, Excuse me, What’ssssss up, Guy, Huh…..I (webloafer) will not waste cyberspace here with more comments, I’ll leave that up to others.
I didn’t take this time to comment to plug my 5 visitor a week blog, just want to say this. I’ll be a closet reader of your blog because I love to laugh, at others or myself.

Thanks for building a bridge between

20 06 2008
puff

@ digga lmao at the 300 comment *briefly imagines chris yelling “this – is – AMERICA!!” before kicking persians into the potomac* next time i’m in dc i’m definitely not sleeping on the waterfront, though i feel so white everytime i walk down damn m street.

yeah i feel you though… arabs do the same shit too. went to one of the “richer” parts of the UAE (i say this like the motherfuckers are broke) and it was all clones of my lonesome cowboy by murakami in a darker palette… and not naked.

20 06 2008
puff

p.s. this is my lonesome cowboy

20 06 2008
Laurel

True. Describes my ex to a T. But he always paid for shyt. Love the Persians. Ha ha.

20 06 2008
zoso

Ugh, I almost choked on my French Toast Crunch marinated in plain soy milk…

Nasty, greasy a$$ and/or ultra hairy men = instant disappearing sex drive.*

“Don’t be afraid if you accidentally scuff his shoes though, because Puma-related homicides are exclusively committed by black people.”

I’m guilty of this but come on, show some respect and watch where your clumsy a$$ is going.

* Oh so sad.

20 06 2008
stuffgirlslike

We call them Iranians here, so they are still flashing their money around. Well then you should support the Ayatollahs who they are running away from.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

20 06 2008
Yesha

I dated a Persian man, only because I didn’t want to pay the $$ to take Farsi classes…so I had him teach me. I guess he came in handy. I have a coworker/friend who’s Persian and when I hang out with her and her family, I’ve seen every thing you’ve wrote about…but I must say, partying with them is definitely an experience! I used to party with the white people b/c they always buy drinks, but now I party with the Persians b/c they buy out the bar and you leave with gifts.

20 06 2008
sarah

Italian ice…

20 06 2008
JaBe

I’m rich. I got a $60 t-shirt”, so instead the Persian takes the humble route and buys the shirt with ‘ARMANI EXCHANGE’ or ‘A|X’ in shiny silver 1,418,071 point font across the chest…hahahahahaha

I like vintage screne tees but can’t stand a grown a$$ man(woman) with brand names across their chest~bebe and dkny and lets not forget the supersized Polo emblem. Trust me, I’m ok not knowing where you shop. Besides, everyone knows that the “urban” line of clothing is garish and overthetop and marketed to the..well..you know.
I mean if you’re a child/teenager then by all means, but an adult???

As for the jeans with all the markings across the bootay, why would any man call attention to or advertise that region? I’m also not a fan of the various sweat pants marketed for kids(woman)with words across the derriere like ‘go team’ wtf is that about?!?

20 06 2008
Esquire

Somehow, these sandbags* have convinced themselves that a perpetually alternating woofer-thump and stochattic cymbal is precisely what makes the pussy go “ooh whee.”

It took me 2 minutes to get through this sentence. I snorted out coffee at sandbags, hit my head on the keyboard at woofer-thump and slid out of my chair at “ooh whee”

I cant take you to day. OR where this conversation will go.

20 06 2008
Knatural

Yes! The pointed racism is back!
This is way I hate Georgetown. And anyone who wears A|X t-shirts, Bebe t-shirts, etc. is stoopid.

20 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

okay, i’m a sucker for an SNL reference…so…good times!
persians…thankfully i don’t run into too many here in Houston unless i hit a non-negro dance club…but when I have, it’s always hilarious to me. i’ve had a few hit on me…i wouldn’t give them the time of day…greasy hairyness is NOT a good look.

20 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Haha! I was wondering when sandnickels would get the treatment. This is more than true even though i’ve never been to the gtown waterfront. But since I was able to get into a club i’ve seen these ‘sandbags*’ all over the place looking like night at the roxbury. And always too damn old for the club. And i’ve said it before and i have no idea why my nearly 6′ babyface ass attracts
1) Elderly black men (60+ please)
2) short stocky hispanic men of the mexican/salvadorian persuiasian
3) teeny tiny thin persian men with shiny suits on in the club.

A group of ‘sandbags’ and inevitably the shortest, tiniest but no doubt hairiest one will chase me around all night, and you know they’re all stalkery. Never accept the drink. Its like accepting to be their 3rd wife. Also never dance with them, even out of pity. One dance makes you his concubine and he has the right to act extremely jealous of you all night and try to cockblock/fight any properly heighted man you look at the rest of your life.

Now of course my question is, how much AIX does shabooty own?

*my new favorite term.

20 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yesha, hanging out with persians is cool b.c. of the exorbitant lifestyle. However I’m glad you spoke Farsi, every persian or arab man I met I couldn’t even talk to nicely b.c. i didn’t know how to explain to them that slavery was illegal in the USA and most of the world. And I will not sell myself to him for 3 camels and a bag of figs- or the equivalent of a ride on his yacht and unlimited bottle service at the club.

20 06 2008
Loudmouth Protestant

Actually, wearing an Armani Exchange shirt is no way to display wealth. Any douchebag can buy an Armani Exchange shirt because it’s a bridge line–the point of the bridge line is to make it affordable for ordinary joe blows. What you really want is the db sporting an Armani proper t-shirt.

20 06 2008
Sister Toldja

OMG, yet another reason I fucking hate Georgetown and “diverse” nightclubs. Sooo gross, so so so gross. Persian men didn’t usually bother my crew and I too much, as we are Negroes, but on the occasions they did step up and talk to me, I felt that the grease seeping from their pores would keep me ash free for the next five years. “Ohhh, where are your fraaaaam? You dooont loook Ameeeeerrican” Ew, help, yikes and I can’t. Everytime I see them, I just think “Borat’s Night At The Roxbury”.

What baffles me, though it shouldn’t, was their ability to pull relatively “good looking” White women. Hence proving that a lot women will talk to an old boot if the old boot said “Drinks on me all night”.

20 06 2008
lisa turtle on her iPod touch

I have this psycho “friend” from Iran who’s always trying to put me on to her Persian friends. AND WE ALWAYS GO TO GEORGETOWN but you know I go where the bottles of Goose flow!!!

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahhah man this is way too funny because you just described one of my close guy friends. Halarity…We would all go to Georgetown tot he Prince Cafe and smoke Hookah and he would insist on paying for everything when we would go out.. He felt like a big man walking around with three girls on his arm walking past the shops with a shit eating grin on his face the whole time..man him and his friends loved some black girls foreal though…his one friend would stay hitting on me when we would go out..he was cute and all..but he was too much…stay rocking the A/X shirts and way to much after shave and he was way to touchy feely..always putting his arms around me ahahha..wasnt feeling it.. but i sure let his ass buy me shit when we all went out hahahah..im not even gonna front..i liked that part about it hahahaha.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Persian know how to through a bomb ass party for the record…

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Persians also have this loud obnoxious laugh thats fucking annoying…

the end.

20 06 2008
Dustin

Yea!!! A post!

This “project” better involve gender reassignment surgery.

Why does SBPH (and Chris) control my life? I skipped out on Starbucks this a.m. to get a McDonald’s iced coffee specifically because of Chris’ well-written diatribe on its goodness. After being overcharged for a large by the poster-child for the Special Olympics at the register and handed this tasteless troth (why is it so big?) of watered-down ridiculousness, I just threw it away.

Can’t wait to read the post. Persians are hot!

20 06 2008
klysha

LMAO at this post…and at the bomb ass party comment….so wrong …so so wrong

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahaha i thought more ppl would have caught that bomb ass party comment klysha 🙂

20 06 2008
Just Venting

In NJ its the same way down the shore. Check out my new blog for the ladies.
stuffblackwomenhate.blogspot.com

20 06 2008

Their rugs are nice!

20 06 2008
shyGirl

Reminds me of the Chaldeans or Greeks in the Detroit suburbs…

20 06 2008

And I will not sell myself to him for 3 camels and a bag of figs-

lord whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmaoooo

20 06 2008
Landon

@Ne:

LOL….

One lesson i learned the hard way “Do not call a Persian an ARAB…”

Thats worst than calling a Butter Rican a Domincan or Vice Versa

20 06 2008
shabooty

@ willnotbetelevised – Now of course my question is, how much AIX does shabooty own?

none –cause im ghetto fabulous.
my only persian stereotype accessory or whatever are my ‘aviators’
lol….
and i admit when I had long hair i would put gel in it but theres a difference… i didnt do the slicked back stereotypical style… mine was the emo-fied/bangs look lol. see: rapper named cage.

-s-

20 06 2008
Landon

chaldeans??

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

tries to picture Shabooty with long hair….ew…aviators are hot..just my opinion ahaha… why do persians wear those wack ass parachute pants??? not wass up..

20 06 2008
shyGirl

Yes, Chaldeans=Christian Iraqis

20 06 2008
nelo

I have never met any persians. Thanks for the lookout.
Do any of you guys know how their girls/women feel about America?

“I will not sell myself for 3 camels and a bag of figs”

Died!

20 06 2008
Dustin

Persian sex is hot. All the gel provides a natural lubricant at the end of the night. Be careful not to twist the body hair though, it hurts them and makes them angry.

20 06 2008
Sandybaby

*tears*

This is ALL So TRUE!!!!! I live in the DC area too and you see these fools EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 06 2008
TomatoHead

Persians are hilarious. I went to a hookah resturant with a Persian female friend of mine and some other girls and while we were waiting outside to get in this red Ferrari pulls up right in front of the place. Dude who gets out is at least 40, is going bald but has grease in his remaining hair, has a Gucci long-sleeved silk button-down with the first three or four buttons undone, has a gold Star of David necklace peeking out of his copious amounts of chest hair, is wearing *I am not even kidding* black leather pants and boots. He also had the requisite 4 gold rings on each hand and diamond earring. My friends and I were in full giggle mode until these group of hoes came up and started talking to him and touching his car and stuff. I swear to god some women are insanely stupid.

Another time we went to a Persian resturant and they had a dance floor so we started dancing (after a few drinkies) and I did bellydance at the time and started doing that. The guys all around the dance floor started yelling and doing that Xena warrior call thing and I was like, alrighty then and just kept on until the song was over. It was bizarre, like something out of a movie.

20 06 2008
TomatoHead

*this group of hoes, not these

20 06 2008
Merri Lee

@ captions on Figure 1 – LOL DSFDSJFLJSLKFJSKFHASLHFKSHDFKJHHFHUHFLK .

Post overall – *crying* Notthose ri-damn-diculous jeans. I’ve seen plenty that cost north of $1000 that look like pure hell. My favorite was one with an embroidered python from the crotch of the jeans to the ankle. Why???? On second thought, that was probably shabooty.

20 06 2008
nelo

Sorry I went off topic but what do you think about the Chinese in South Africa now being classified as black?

20 06 2008
Esquire

Persian sex is hot. All the gel provides a natural lubricant at the end of the night. Be careful not to twist the body hair though, it hurts them and makes them angry.

I just died a thousand deaths

20 06 2008
Merri Lee

nelo – we discussed that in yesterday’s thread.

20 06 2008

Chuck norris said:

We are talking about Persians nelo… PERSIANS! not Asians or Africa.

20 06 2008

Plus we are not at 100 post yet topic usually changes after 100

20 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL this post was the kind of funny that made me feel ashamed at laughing. Kind of like the boondocks. You know its over the line but you cant help it. I have not had any of the aforementioned experiences, I don’t think the Persian invasion has reached this far south, but I did have a friend in college that was Armenian and he was FINE!!!! He was also always blunted and through the dopest parties! LMAO He didn’t use a lot of product nor did he seem extremely hairy but he might have shaved his chest. I have a real problem with a man using product. Be it gel, Jeri curl activator, a conk or one of those instant perms in a box that black men use to get those gay ass 360 degree Caesar waves….

20 06 2008
Landon

side note:

one of the funniest Status I’ve seen on Facebook:

S.C. “is done having sex and wishes she would wake up so he can sleep in his bed by himself.”

LMAO

ok back on topic…

20 06 2008
nelo

Sorry. I didn’t check until today. 🙂

Let’s keep talking about Persians!

20 06 2008
Landon

There is nothing like that akward moment when someone has stayed a lil too long in your bed or house and you are hinting for them to leave….

20 06 2008
Knatural

“Persian sex is hot. All the gel provides a natural lubricant at the end of the night. Be careful not to twist the body hair though, it hurts them and makes them angry.” AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHHA Ass.

I saw that article on BBC news: South Africans classifying Chinese as Black. I wish I had sat in on that meeting…who decided this? I’m all for equality, but this is weird.

20 06 2008
nelo

I saw that article on BBC news: South Africans classifying Chinese as Black. I wish I had sat in on that meeting…who decided this? I’m all for equality, but this is weird.

Yes, it is. Especially since Chinese people weren’t discrimated against after 1975. They got “white status” after that. So, why did their association bitch about inequality? Since for almost two decades after the rest of the colored, they were treated liked tanned crackers?

20 06 2008
Esquire

Nelo,
you arent slick, trying to continue to change the subject before 100. lol

20 06 2008

LOL @ ESQUIRE…LOL

20 06 2008
Landon

Its funny there were more comments two days ago when there was no POst, lol

20 06 2008

LOL LANDON, so true. We are waiting until post 100 to get it poppin’.

20 06 2008
nelo

Eh! Knatural let me keep going. 🙂

20 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

That figures…the first day I am able to log in all day at leisure is the day you guys are going to take it slow….

20 06 2008

Everybody is probably trying to catch up on their work from early this week.

20 06 2008
TomatoHead

Either that or took a look at the topic and thought: “I know no Persians” and then took off.

20 06 2008
Knatural

Sorry, I didn’t realize 100 comments is the cap AHAHAHA.
An Italian buddy of mine was griping about his woman troubles and how every woman in DC seems to be a “materialistic bitch”. He said the last time he went out, at least two different girls asked if he was Jewish or Persian. When he replied no, they walked away. Persians get all the girls ‘cuz they wear A|X t-shirts and curly shoes.

20 06 2008
B4Prez

U’d be correct TomatoHead! It’s during topics like these that I feel like a SBPH University outcast/online student, becus I don’t live in DC where the ‘cool kids’/on-campus students live.

20 06 2008
Landon

curly shoes, not the GENIE shoes, lol

20 06 2008
Angry IV

Hahahaha, ever been to the Avenue? Go to the Avenue on a Thursday night and go to the top floor where they’re banging the hottest Persian house and hip-hop music. You’ll go nuts.

20 06 2008
TomatoHead

Yea, I’m on the westcoast and thankfully I can relate as there are craploads of Persians in the Los Angeles area, specifically the West Hollywood area where all the temples are.

20 06 2008

curly shoes…. lmao bwahahahah lamo

lasidheiyupeywrpioyyywoupwqou90210

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

“And I will not sell myself to him for 3 camels and a bag of figs-

lord whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmaoooo”

Ne

lawd lawd lawd i dam near fell outta my chair. LMBAO!

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

lawd = Lord

outta = out of

in case Lord Vader is patrolling.

20 06 2008
HeadNutInCharge

I hope this is not a repost but where I am from we call them

“SandNiggas”

20 06 2008

lmaoo pmc @ Lord Vader bwahahaha.

20 06 2008
Landon

umm thats not nice headnutincharge

20 06 2008
Knatural

Yeah! Genie Shoes. I actually work with a couple of (older) Persians and they don’t fit that “greasy”, douchy, stereotype. It’s cool, because I get emails about Persian New Year and come Holiday time they bring in yummy food. Bertha appreciates that.

20 06 2008

Okay, tell me why am I like a curry magnet or something.
Pakistani, arab, persian, and fIJI men feel like it is their red dot duty (no offense) to approach me and ask me out.

Once a week, sometimes 2x a week. I can’t

20 06 2008
Landon

Ne: maybe its because you co wrote the Karma Sutra?

20 06 2008

Thanks landon

::crosses legs and shrugs shoulders::

I didn’t know you knew:) but keep it on the down low though, everyone is going to be asking me for tips.

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Ne, maybe the Persians love you becaue you have that “cum hither” look or either you look like you might just go for that bag of figs and 3 camels. i sill can’t get over that offering. LOL!

20 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL yall are crazy.. I feel the same way down in here in Tennessee B4Prez.. a lot of times I am wondering what the hell are they talking about? My best friend lives in DC but I have only been there on the customary school trips, never as an adult

20 06 2008
FanmJacmel

“U’d be correct TomatoHead! It’s during topics like these that I feel like a SBPH University outcast/online student, becus I don’t live in DC where the ‘cool kids’/on-campus students live.”

I’m with you on that one, I don’t think I’ve ever met a greasy Persian in Boston.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Ya’ll miss me hahaha..jk

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

all the cool kids are from the DC/MD area sorry B4prez..sucks to be you!

nay nay boo boo!

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

FanmJacmel what does your handle mean? just curious.

20 06 2008

lol
I smile a lot…maybe they think I am so happy I be happy with my three camels and figs. I don’t get it.

Ladies I know it’s not just me. Somebody please tell me that they are curry magnets too.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I think I saw a shabooty look alike during lunch today…he was wearing a yellow jump suit

wika wika Ali G in da house bitches..thats what he said to me when i walked past… ahaha

20 06 2008
Keysha E.

Fucking hillarious!!!! I work at the Water Gate a hop Skip and a Jump from the Water Front. So mow you know that I am going to be walking over there just to see the pure bullish upclose and personal! LOL LOL

20 06 2008

Hey mrs. epps HOW YOU derin’

20 06 2008
Knatural

So, are there no Persians (“Middle Eastern”) in the South?

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I think I saw a shabooty look alike during lunch today…he was wearing a yellow jump suit

wika wika Ali G in da house bitches..thats what he said to me when i walked past… ahaha

20 06 2008
Landon

NE: Just you… something about your swagger makes them want to buy you a nice rug in hopes to see your rug 🙂

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

what it do Ne!!! what is the Kama Sutra classes i hear your giving hahah

20 06 2008
Keysha E.

SandNiggas ????????????????? Are you Serious! Gezzzzz The Contry needs Help… BUt any who

20 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

We have a few…they mostly own dollar stores or the “bling bling” jewelry stores or the dead sea carts in the mall

20 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Landon, that was horrible punage…..

20 06 2008

NE: Just you… something about your swagger makes them want to buy you a nice rug in hopes to see your rug

KLSDHOIWYQ
EL
QWEJK[Q
WJPU1800-AWW-SHIT

20 06 2008

I don’t have a shaggy rug

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

my first encounter with a Persian was in high school and this Prince (literally) was in drivers ed with us and this white girl kept drawing sexual pictures on some paper and handing it to him. she thought it was funny….so the Persian dude felt her up and she got mad. He slapped the dog shit out of her ass. It was the slap heard round the world. I don’t think they play that shit in his circle. They just moved him to another class and suspended her ass.

20 06 2008
Knatural

Wow Landon. You and Shabooty could write scripts for Persian porn.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

The Persian’s over here in pg mostly own liquor stores and gas stations… and the guys that work there stay tryna give me free shit..i’ll take some free liquor hands down ahahah..it’ll be funny when ever my man go to the liquor store he’ll be like you come with me cuz they always seem to slide in a 5th of henny with our beer ahah

20 06 2008
B4Prez

That’s all right…I’ll be invading the DC area when I go visit my friend in Silver Spring. I’m gonna link up with the Persians and get it crunk!!!!!

20 06 2008
shabooty

hah Mrs. Epps.

Most recently, the rapper, Dizzee Rascal from the UK said I looked like Ali-G
so I’ve heard that before. innit?

btw i saw this bitch at the bar last night that look like Ellen Page from Juno -and what do you know? She had Ellen Page from Juno’s same cunty attitude.
…so drop-kick-able.

$

20 06 2008
Landon

@knatural: Persian porn,hmmmmm

Lady in tight clothes cleaning house..

((DOor Bell Rings)))

Lady opens door —

Man in Dikies uniform with Gelled Hair and taco meat showing, says in persian accent…

man: Did you call to get your RUG Cleaned?

Lady: WHy yes cum in
lady (licks lips)

Man: MY i like your rug…

chicahicaa Bowwowoowoww (music in background) they go for a ride on his magic carpet.

20 06 2008
SOMALI QUEEN

Sandnigga is not nice but Sandbag is? Hmmmmm. Interesting.

20 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAAH Landon, I was picturing more of a Bollywood-esque production, like a porno Aladdin. The guy made her rub his ‘lamp’ for three wishes.

20 06 2008
Landon

Knatural:

like that Bolloywood video we watched the over day… hmmmm I’ll be back, lol…

20 06 2008
Landon

but wait those are indians… red dot not feather.

20 06 2008
Knatural

What Bollywood video from the other day?
Indian, Iranian, we’re all the same. Crazy.

20 06 2008
AC

@Landon,

That’s like bad black porn on Russ Parr’s morning show, lol!

20 06 2008
TomatoHead

I am definitely a curry magnet. More so right after I get my hair done because it gets super-white people looking straight and for some reason they think that I’m Arab or dark persian or Indian.

I’ve had, on two separate occasions, had Indian men come up to me and ask me if I was Indian. And I said no both times and both times they asked the same question: Are your parents Indian? And I said NO, I’m black, African American. And both times they gave me this strange look (one was kind of a “you’re kidding, right?” and the other was more “really??”) and wandered off.

The Persian guys at my high school were in love with me though, as were their parents. I have no idea what the deal is with that because most of the persians I know won’t date anyone outside of Persian Jews…

20 06 2008
Landon

WHos Russ Parr?

20 06 2008
Esquire

Landon you dont know who Russ Parr is?

20 06 2008
Landon

Nah i dont…

Hence WHos Russ Parr

20 06 2008
Merri Lee

Co sign with Landon – who’s that?

20 06 2008
Knatural

Russ Parr is a radio host with a lisp. He does/did a skit called “Black Porn Theatre” every week. I don’t listen to the radio anymore (since it SUCKS) so I’m not sure if he still does this.

20 06 2008
Landon

i feel like that kid in the class who is the only one who doesnt have his hand up to answer a question but the TEACHER calls on me anyway…

20 06 2008
Landon

well i am out People I have a A friday Wedding to go to at 5 pm…

Traffic should be fun 😦

Peace luv and napppiness

20 06 2008

I love Dizzee Rascal

20 06 2008
Soup Kitchen Scoundrel

Does Russ Parr sound like that boy-genuis kid from Venture Bros? He has a lisp… I always hear his name on the radio, but I’m too sadity for that type of music. Effing Jibbs…

20 06 2008
Muse

This is why I hate the world and I’m angry as fuck.

Sex Offender Wins $57 Million in Lottery

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/sex-offender-wins-57-million-in-lottery/20080619161509990001?icid=200100397x1204436132x1200188999#cmntbgn

20 06 2008
zoso

Man, y’all are going super slow. I got off work early expecting some juicy content…

knat “I don’t listen to the radio anymore (since it SUCKS)”

I cosign that. Ever since Clinton signed the telecommunications act, radio has gone down hill. No matter what city/state you’re in, the format’s the same tired bullish.

20 06 2008
shabooty

(http://tinyurl.com/6kh67k)

paste into address field.

this one’s for somali queen (it’s safe for work)
=)

20 06 2008
JaBe

@willnotbetelevised

my nearly 6′ babyface ass attracts
1) Elderly black men (60+ please)
2) short stocky hispanic men of the mexican/salvadorian persuiasian
3) teeny tiny thin persian men with shiny suits on in the club.

A group of ’sandbags’ and inevitably the shortest, tiniest but no doubt hairiest one will chase me around all night, and you know they’re all stalkery. Never accept the drink. Its like accepting to be their 3rd wife. Also never dance with them, even out of pity. One dance makes you his concubine and he has the right to act extremely jealous of you all night and try to cockblock/fight any properly heighted man you look at the rest of your life.

I thought this only happened to me!!!
Glad I’m in good company, not glad that it happens.

20 06 2008
maya

Dammit, Shabooty. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

20 06 2008
JaBe

@ sistertoldya
“Ohhh, where are your fraaaaam? so funny, so very funny.

20 06 2008
Knatural

Thanks Muse. You ruined my friday. A registered sex offender; did you see his picture? But felons, many of whom are wrongly convicted, can’t vote. Huh? I can’t believe that shit. He shouldn’t be allowed to play, let alone breath air.

20 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAAH, but thanks Shabooty (though you hate me for whatever reason).

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

shabooty, shaboy; PMC. are you saying that our resident Somalian has a bad case of the back door trots. …the runs even. nasssssttttyy.

here is a torture technique i came up with in high school

starve a person about 2 good days
take a small tube
ram it up someones greased ass
insert barbed wire in tube
remove tube, leaving barbed wire in arse, ass cavity clamps tight
feed person well
rip barbed wire from ass cavity
feed person stool softener

what say ye?

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

JaBe ur rouse on persian men in the club is right next to the funniest shit i heard all day.

“properly heightened”

“3rd wife”

“concubine”

ur killing me! LOL!!!!

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

oh wait! drum roll please.

“stalkery”

LMBAO!

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Shabooty i luv ya for this…

btw i saw this bitch at the bar last night that look like Ellen Page from Juno -and what do you know? She had Ellen Page from Juno’s same cunty attitude.
…so drop-kick-able.

Yea that chick is a big ass cunt and what gets me is that she actually talks anal..bleh…I i totallyyyyyyy hate you for that link..smh ahahha

Landon i hate you for the Persian porn scene…gonna get me fired…

20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

cockblockery! LMAO!

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

off topic but this kinda shit makes me wish that ppl have to have a permit to have kids

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-517523/Girl-16-gives-birth-triplets–SECOND-time.html

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps
20 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Shabooty, Shaboy; PMC. looks like madagascar is full of shit. LOL!

20 06 2008
nelo

” Okay, tell me why am I like a curry magnet or something.
Pakistani, arab, persian, and fIJI men feel like it is their red dot duty (no offense) to approach me and ask me out.

Once a week, sometimes 2x a week. I can’t”

I am the only black chick that doesn’t attract Indians? I’ve only been accosted twice in my life by Indian people. A Turkish man hit on me once. But I normally don’t attract Middle Eastern or Asian people.

20 06 2008
B4Prez

How in the hell r u 17 with 7 kids???? SMH…………It’s curtains for her.

20 06 2008
shabooty

lol… I think Madagascar is a giant floating log of congealed shit, according to that mapping.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

right!!!!!!! B4Prez..her mom wants to get her tubes tied so she cant have anyone babies but in Argentina its illgeal to get a minors tubes tied…fuck all that im giving you consent to do it dammit!…she had her 1st kid at 14 then had triplets at 15 and then another set of triplets at 16…fucking ayeeeeeee…i mean i want kids as a young adult but goddamn!! 7!!! seven!! Siete?????? geez…i guess her mama didnt have the birds and the bees talk and the keep your damn legs closed talk. ahhah

20 06 2008
B4Prez

lol…where r her baby daddies? I shouldn’t be laughing at this but she sunds like an In Living Color sketch or sumthin.

She needs to look into being a surrogate cus she’s a walking (actually, laying [lol]) fertility drug!

Im gonna hold a prayer circle for her. You’ll can send donations to me…I’ll get ’em to her….

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahhaha B4Prez..yea all of them dipped out on her basiclly…this would be a funny ass Maury episode..i feel sorry for her parents..well mom who has to take care of all those children! girl dont even look over the age of 13 to me and she’s 17.

20 06 2008
B4Prez

She need her azz beat! And them multiplying babies too, while we’re at it.

Aight MrsEpps, it looks like we’re the last 2 standing this evening. I’m about to peace out so have a good wkend, and don’t pass out at the bar…again, lol.
I say this as I’m headed to happy hr for a friend’s b-day. SMH@myself.

20 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

toodlez man.. im out too 🙂 everyone have a good one!

ahh happy hr too? yea gotta love it…

20 06 2008
puff

hahahahahahahahhaha shabooty thats fucked upppp though i can’t be mad, only 0 – 10% of the kids in my hood have had diarrhea lately

20 06 2008
Ethel

@JaBe~ Stalkery indeed. I went out with a Persian once. Once. A blind date and we met at a furniture store [I know…it was weird even at the time]. And what does he show me first? The bedroom furniture he ordered.

So we have cawfee [anything to get out of there] and I say, thanks and go home and there’s a message on my answering machine when I get home. From him. I’m about to meet a friend for dinner so I get changed and when I get home later, there are two more messages from him. The next day, he calls me three times. The day after, four more times. I’m talking about this with another friend and she’s like “he doesn’t know where you work does he?” And it’s dawning on me that this has to stop. Fast. So I tell him he’s too intense blah blah. And he says ok. And continues to call me and hang up for a while until I finally had to change my phone numbers.

So is it me or is it just strange to hear that a person is from a country that doesn’t really exist? Or maybe it’s more of an area in the globe, but it’s like someone saying: I’m from the North West US…it’s vague enough that I always wonder if they are on the lam or witness protection or something.

20 06 2008
tom harkin

i believe the more appropriate pejorative term is ‘sand nigger’.

20 06 2008
Merri Lee

@ Mrs. Epps I guess there’s just NOTHING to do.

20 06 2008
Merri Lee

Pt II – sometimes, it’s NOT the parent’s fault

20 06 2008
shabooty

sand nigger is sooo 2006

20 06 2008
heavenleiblu

Don’t hate on my sand -boos. 🙂

20 06 2008
heavenleiblu

Okay, re: the Argentinian baby machine; WHO is boning this girl? gotdamn.

21 06 2008
eazyM

Another hilarious post that made my day…
Seeing them in a high end luxury cars on M street ..blasting arab/persian techno s is one of my weekend night amusement…

anyway here is the other hilarious video of the day….

It is on youtube…but still may not suitable for work place…or use a headset or sumthing…

21 06 2008
SOMALI QUEEN

shaBOOTY (the link is a little funny considering your screen name — but i’ve stopped being surprised at people’s freaky fetishes long time ago).

I must say though…. that link is as irrelevant as you are

21 06 2008
ViK

I can’t say that I know much about Persians, but Figure 1 made me LMAO. I live on the water, so during the summer, there are plenty of drunks in their A|X Shirts and (rented) boats or (borrowed) Escalades pretending to be rich Microsofties. Good times.

21 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Ok dagnabit, can I get my credit? PMC thats me you’re quoting. JaBe knows what i mean though about the stalkery and whatnot.
Sandnickels have a secret black fetish, I don’t know what it is. But they wont take you home to mama. I think that all the prostitutes in Iran must be negroidian or something, (or all the black people in Iran are in desperate need of figs and transportation). Why you think shabooty is on this site? Its in his genes. Secretly severely attracted to black women.
Knat, we’re friends again. Curly shoes….LOL

21 06 2008
Sister Toldja

1) Not only did Shabooty not defend himself from being told that he looks like Ali the fuck G, he admitted that others have said this. I guess dude from Def Jux says it, it’s cool? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Sasha Baron Cohen is kind fine though, when he’s not in costume.

2) Sand Nigga is definitely old, my mom been saying it for years.

3) Some Sand Nigga called me a nigger in Adams Morgan a few years ago, because I snapped at him about his shitty driving. He swole up and said “You…..NIGGGGGGER!” before he drove off. Somehow, most of the people on the street missed this, but they all heard me get all “WHO THE FUCK IS YOU TALKING TO, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. YOUR ASS IS DEAD. BITCH ASS SAND NIGGA, YOU WILL DIE”, because I turn in to hoodrat-meets-mafia princess when I am angry.

21 06 2008
nelo

St,

Died!

22 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Hmm…sounds like the waterfront in Detroit. Ever so slightly. I never go to race day on the river, so I’m talking out of my ass.

…you forgot to mention the blue carpeting and the golden rods adorning their yachts.

22 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister no he didnt! I woulda fucked him up for that one!

hoodrat-meets-mafia princess

sister from another mother…my hero!!

22 06 2008
klysha

Thinking about hitting the Georgetown waterfront today. Thanks for the handy diagram…LOL

http://www.mysixcents.wordpress.com

22 06 2008
mrjayfm

All you assumedly African Americans; all your comments reak of desperate jealousy. The Iranians you are talking about are just a small section whose taste of entertainment and places to hangout seem to succumb to yours…

Beneath all their “stuff”; they are by far more human , kind , generous and forgiving than your lot…its called culture…
.just imagine if they were to make fun of you as an underclass in America..

22 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Mrjayfm, I think you should take note on the sarcasm. Trust, I like Persians far more than I like blacks. They’re much nicer. But yea, the carpet and rods comment came from South Park.

22 06 2008
Persian American

Another East Coast DC loser who blends a terminally plain Abercrombie & Fitch worldview with not-so-tacit racism. Your comments mirror comments made by LA people about LA Persians 30 years ago. It’s not new. Underneath the veneer of comic mockery is a deep core of jealousy, envy, and racism.

22 06 2008
MrJayFm

Chris,
The perople you describe, are the sons and daughters of people, most of whom fled war and injustice arrivng with little, often without knowing the language. Today, Iranians on average are according to the last US census , the most educated, the most accomplished and productive immigrant group. That is perhaps more than what you have been able to accomplish in the place of your birth, and possibly the source of your frustrated rant on Persians.
I suggest you spend your income, (if you have any) and travel to broaden your mind ; otherwise you are well on your way in becoming an embarrassment to yourself and family, as I am sure in the 21st century there is no longer room for prejudice born from bigoted ignorance.

23 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I suggest you spend your income, (if you have any) and travel to broaden your mind ; otherwise you are well on your way in becoming an embarrassment to yourself and family, as I am sure in the 21st century there is no longer room for prejudice born from bigoted ignorance.”

I suggest you read http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/ and go back to listening to your Armin van Buren CD.

Idiot.

23 06 2008
Majid

DIGGA….or it starts with a ” N ” ?
You know how they got here? on board of a Boeing 747 !!
I bet you it was much much more comfortable than the lower deck of a cargo ship from….you know where!
You have some nerves and are so eligible to talk about 300 !

23 06 2008
Cy of Persia

It hurts me to no end to witness the young black people who are supposed to be the guardians of Dr. Luther King’s dream chanting hate instead of universal love. Remember every nationality and race has its own unique culture.
How would you like a funny blog written by a Persian calling you niggers, coons, eight balls, Ace of spades, Little sambos while displaying pictures and charts which shows pimps with Afro or artificially pressed hair, low riders, Rap gangsters, feisty fat black women on welfare, teenage mothers of 4 kids from different absent fathers living in projects and Mr. Short himself sitting by the Potomac river eating water melon and fried chicken wishing that had a boat?
Wouldn’t that be kick? Do you think that would be something that a blog called; “Things Persian people hate” would print?
NO, because we don’t hate anybody.
When it comes to race, we are a color blind nation. The founder of Persian Empire, Cyrus the great wrote the first declaration of human rights on a clay cylinder 25 centuries ago. He thought us to respect all people, all nations and all religions no matter how different from ours it would be. Our Emperor Darius the great despite being in charge of 28 different nations in his empire stretching from North Africa to India did not have any slaves. He paid people to build his palace of Persepolis. We are peace loving people. We practically invented the divine love.
Read poems of our poets Rumi, Hafiz and Omar Khayyam, if you get a chance.
Our culture may seem strange to you because we are still relatively new immigrants. Every immigrant group has had the same type of issues. Italians, Irish, Polish etc. If you feel jealous because you think these people’s money comes from the oil and $5 a gallon that you pay for gas at the pump, think again.
Persians have the highest number of educated people with highest paying jobs in any immigrant group in this country. We earn every penny by working in the most critical jobs of this nation. Try to get to know us and we will grow on you in no time. I promise you. May peace and love be with you all.

23 06 2008
Johnny B. Goode

it sounds like a bunch of jealous welfare cheating bunch

23 06 2008
Arman

Poor jealous dude. I would bet that you go to bed alone and trying to let out some steam from those who had nothing to do with your socially backward group. Sorry to hear your pain about a cultured group who could teach you one or two things.
Remember that many of these people came here with nothing and learn the system to be able to be the way the like to be, what can you say about yourself?
Post a pic of yourself so we can be the judge who is the true douche bag punk.
PS. You got nothing, don’t first talk bad about those brands and then admit that you own some…What a loser, including all those who have supported this racist douchebag.

23 06 2008
Daryush

lol, what a loser and a douchebag. lol
hey you know why you are hateful? because you can’t while want to. Yes we can, obviously you can’t. Does it burn? lol, enjoy it. can’t touch this…lol

23 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Cy, darling, its something called satire. If you are really that offended, please write letters to Matt Parker and Trey Stone because they aired a 22 minute episode of South Park dissing the Persians.

Seriously, its the internet. People that are serious about hating another race are probably going to do what the KKK did and terrorize the shit out of that group. People that make racial statements for comical purposes can be considered assholes, but its all in humor. In my area (which happens to have the highest concentration of people of Middle Eastern descent next to the Middle East), Blacks, Persians, Latinos, well, pretty much every minority group, even the Greeks, band together and call each other brothers and sisters.

I have a play aunt who’s Persian, and a play aunt who’s Greek. They are two of my mom’s friends.

And I will also say, I know Persians that do use the term “nigga” (a word I will never utter unless I’m utterly pissed off), just like I know Latinos and even some stupid white people have said (and they usually get punched in the face afterwards, even though they say it to each other).

People are taking race too seriously. Everybody is mixed one way or another, and once we all figure that one out and remember it, nobody’s really going to give two shits about who said what. (I know its not as easy as that, but it will help).

23 06 2008
HeadNutInCharge

Armand Van Buren lol!

Cy of Persia, it sounds like you may already have a blog berating black people these way you quickly listed all of your topics like that.

I love Persian people. My best friend is persian.

23 06 2008
chaoticdiva

…also goes to the other people who were offended by this post.

By the way, I’m from a very very mixed background, so you can’t say its because of backward movement by my one ethnic group. I just don’t take people that I don’t know who don’t affect my life in any fucking way seriously.

If you were to take all the douchebags in the world seriously, you wouldn’t have time for shit else in your life. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, and don’t waste your time posting.

(I am wasting my time only because my ADD causes me to procrastinate while trying to study, or program something)

23 06 2008
dudu_li

Having a good laugh at a expense of a nation that is older than 7000 years it’s shallow and pure dumb. It’s backward and stupid.
You may look in the mirror and see ugly…I read you and some of you in here and see ugly. Many of you people are ugly people and it’s got nothing to do with the image you see back at you from the mirror. Very sad. For me it’s the last time that I would stand for the racist comments of white people against the blacks. Maybe the next time I should laugh, and I think I will.

23 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Arman

That’s funny – Arman is the name of my little nephew who is ::GASP:: half Persian.

Anyhow, http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/

There are pictures of me all over this site. Assclown.

23 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Dudu li, have you ever seen Flavor of Love?

There’s making fun of black folks in a nutshell for you.

Dont get me started on the Make me a telenovela star bullshit show…

23 06 2008
Bijan A

Funny piece. I am from Iran (Persia) and I disagree with many Iranian/Persian people who are in LA. Not familiar with DC area but can understand you. to those who are “hurt”, as if we don’t make fun of ourselves or disagree with our behavior. We do and should actually hear more criticism to understand what it is that makes us unlikable to some. Nothing wrong with that. Iranians do suck a lot of time, and that’s the truth. Just a note, most Iranians are not what these “Persians” have grown to be in the US, believe me.
Thanks for the piece.

23 06 2008
Mrs. Kennedy

did he just say “you can’t touch this?”
LMFAO. . . Daryush, you just might be my new best friend. . .
You know, its always interesting when people become outraged at “racist” remarks when blacks have been the butt of america’s jokes for centuries. . . Where was your “outrage” then?

23 06 2008
Knatural

“Attention Indignant Persians: please read http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog before reading this entry and getting your magic carpet in a knot.” AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA…AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAH
That oughta straighten out those curly shoes.

23 06 2008
Majid

Digga……or ” NIGGA ” wrote:

“Digga (07:39:41) :

Make’s you wanna go 300 … in real modern life.

THIS … IS … TACKY!!!!!11!!

*kick’em off the dock* ”

Before you go 300, would you please get off your lazy, stealing, wellfare collecting, un-employed, violant ass , and go pay your years long accumulated child support for your 48 lil’ monkeys first? would you?
THEN, you you can come back and “go 300” !

Be carefull when you want to “kick them off the dock” ! someone may throw you back at the lower deck of that cargo ship…….AGAIN!!!

23 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Cy of Persia: “NO, because we don’t hate anybody.”

+

Majid: “Before you go 300, would you please get off your lazy, stealing, wellfare collecting, un-employed, violant ass , and go pay your years long accumulated child support for your 48 lil’ monkeys first? Be carefull when you want to “kick them off the dock” ! someone may throw you back at the lower deck of that cargo ship…….AGAIN!!!”

=

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

23 06 2008
just wondering

Ok, since it is not the outlandish and ostentatious show of wealth, loud music, over use of expensive cologne ;and certainly not the young black writer’s youthful awesomeness since he seems to be beating his own meat every night in anger, what DOES precisely make a pussy go “ooh whee?”

23 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Shoes and Doughnuts. Krispy Kreme to be exact.

23 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

wow why are they “persians” so fucking angry..this blog is meant to make you laugh…ppl take the internet way to damn seriously these days and its hilarious!!!

Majid: “Before you go 300, would you please get off your lazy, stealing, wellfare collecting, un-employed, violant ass , and go pay your years long accumulated child support for your 48 lil’ monkeys first? Be carefull when you want to “kick them off the dock” ! someone may throw you back at the lower deck of that cargo ship…….AGAIN!!!”

we call you hairy when you fucking are but you call our children “lil monkeys”? hmmm so who’s the racist again?

23 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

in the name of ALI G yayayayayyayayayayayyayayayaya!

get over youself

23 06 2008
just wondering

ChaoticDiva,
Are you a female COP or does this apply to all? Because, next thing you know, every doughnut shop and shoe store in this country will be owned by Persians.

23 06 2008
Majid

Just wrote that to say how EASY it is to live in a glass house and throw rocks!

How about that?

23 06 2008
chaoticdiva

lol @ just wondering

Because I live in an area populated with a ton of Greeks and Middle Easterners, its safe to say that alot of the businesses out here are owned by Persians.

But I’m not a cop, I’m a student…lol…

Majid: you just proved yourself to be an oxymoron. You just lost all credibility from that. [British accent] You are the weakest link, goodbye. [/British accent]

23 06 2008
Muse

Damn the Persians are pissed.

23 06 2008
Muse

I kinda understand where the Persian are coming from. If a white dude wrote a blog called Stuff Crackas and Honkies hate and listed Black folks who look like coons I might be offended…

The again Black people get dissed on daily basis so maybe I’m numb to it.

24 06 2008
Majid

کلوخ انداز را پاداش سنگ است

Find an Iranian and ask what that means.
You were all fine and cozy when “digga” wanted to go “300” AND “kick’m off the dock”huh !
FRIGGING ” DOUBLE STANDARD”!
NOW….go ahead and jump my ass, it’s fine with me.

24 06 2008
chaoticdiva

Majid: Not singling you out or anything, I didn’t even bother to read digga’s post. And I’m not appreciating the profane use of words towards I, who is simply trying to keep the posts lighthearted.

So riddle me this: do you know every Persian in the world? Do you know any douchebag Persians?

As a black person, I know plenty of stereotypical blacks, and plenty that aren’t. Same with my Latino counterparts.

Point: if it doesn’t directly affect you, then shut the hell up. I hate to be rude, but acting like a child about a post that isn’t even directly pointing at you is an issue.

And if it is referring to you, then you have no right to be upset because your behavior in this blog is very douchebaggish.

Go grab a cookie, climb under your blankie, and call your mother, because in the real world, people aren’t as nice as I’m being to you and they won’t think twice when they [figuratively] kick you in the balls for being a brat.

Have a nice week.

24 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

کلوخ انداز را پاداش سنگ است

=

“Dirka dirka dirka, Mohammed Jihad.”

Why do I imagine all the angry Persians commenting here as the angry dude in this video?:

God I love South Park. Lighten up, Majid…you wouldn’t last ten minutes as a black guy. If you look at some of the earlier posts, I’m equally heavy handed with other races, including black people.

If you wanna fight real racism, mail some letters to the southern congressmen fighting to seal the borders.

24 06 2008
just wondering

Let me make a suggestion. Since Persians are kind of new in this country.
And every body seems to make fun of their techniques for picking up chicks,
How about if Persian guys hire cool black dudes to give them lessons on moving around smoothly, do special hand shakes, jive talk, dance and dress up?
Who remembers Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd “two wild and crazy guys” from 1970’s Saturday night live show?

24 06 2008
ladebelle

@just wondering… that was pretty lame…lol sorry…

@stuffblackpeoplehate… love it… although i’m not in DC to see this nonesense i’m sure appreciative of your sharing!!!

24 06 2008
nelo

@dudu

“Having a good laugh at a expense of a nation that is older than 7000 years it’s shallow and pure dumb.”

And Africa is the cradle of mankind and crackers, niggas, mexicans, and everyone else makes fun of it all the time. What’s your point?

Don’t be an assshat. Laugh. Please. After all the pain that people, especially women, are going through in Iran you should.

24 06 2008
PersianChick

Funny post and as an Iranian/Persian or whatever. I must agree with the comment re greasy hair, A/X…. How can I deny reality? As for some of the comments below from some of the Negro’s – just remember when you Negro’s were being sold off as slaves, Persians were ruling the world. My grandparents owned about 70 of your kind. Now, how can you deny this reality? Have I mentioned that I am Iranian/Persian married to a black man? Lovely day everyone. Enjoy a drink at GTown on a Persian and go Obama, go!

24 06 2008
Jeresmom

Wow the comments went from funny to sad very quickly. I can’t believe that some people are getting so upset about a blog. If you are offended, then please don’t read it. Or maybe you are offended because it is YOU to which he is referring. Oh and to Persianchick if your grandparents really owned slaves, then they are as much a douchebag as you are for posting that rubbish like its something to be proud of.

24 06 2008
PersianChick

i wasn’t offended or angry at the blog. i am rather amused by how ignorant some your negro’s are. pick up a book for that right wing christian god sake. i cannot take action for my grandparents action but it is true that they owned slaves. they still had black workers until 20 years ago. that’s right, 20 years ago they were cheap labour but before that they were “COMPLENETRY”. you can call me anything you like and I won’t give a damn and in most cases it makes me laugh especially when i can tell that i’ve made your blood boil. as i tried to point out, i am married to a black man and soon will have a black child. therefore, i cannot be racist. but the truth of the matter is us persians are rich and successful even after the western government tried to bomb and sanction us. we put a lot of energy towards education and we work hard and make it to the top and we can enjoy the fruit of our labour in anyway we wish. and as for our men putting oil on their hair, the only thing i can say is that – at least it’s OUR OWN hair and not some fake plastic that we buy at beauty shops and get it glued to our head! we wear designer but we wear the real stuff not some knock off from wal-mart! is your blood still boiling. didn’t mean to do it this time but hey!

24 06 2008
Knatural

“complenetry”? What does this mean?

24 06 2008
PersianChick

i thought you negro’s had sense of humor? after all most of the funniest comedians are black aren’t they. why is it that you feel that you can trash other people without having a clue about who they are and when somebody comes along and makes real comments about your kind you get offended? “Complementary” = FREE

24 06 2008
puff

@ persian chick

i love how you think that your being married to a black man or supporting Obama neutralises the bigotry and plain ignorance in your statements. it doesn’t. you are, in essence, calling us all niggers then telling us it’s okay, i can do that cos i’m sexing one of y’all on the regular. your racist, slave-owning hypocritical ass needs to accept that this post is what it is, and stop throwing out retarded half-assed arguments like “black people don’t have our own hair” to make yourself feel better.

“we ruled the world…” yeah, didn’t we all?

24 06 2008
PersianChick

you made me laugh so hard. 😉 thanks for the wonderful “FREE” entertainment. i knew i could count on you guys.

24 06 2008
Majid

TO: chaoticdiva

You wrote : “I didn’t even read “Digga”s comment……………..”

Do you always jump on people’s ass with reading half the sentence?
Here, I post it AGAIN for you to read and know where my comment came from.

Digga (07:39:41) :

Make’s you wanna go 300 … in real modern life.

THIS … IS … TACKY!!!!!11!!

*kick’em off the dock*

NOW !
I felt the pain of “Koonta” thru each and every page of “Roots”.
I have VERY good and close friends who happen to be African Americans!
I have “NOTHING” against African Americans but “EVERYTHING” against “DIGGA”s, who write ….”Make’s you wanna go 300 … in real modern life.” and… *kick’em off the dock*

Again, a “DIGGA”…..is SO eligible to open his pie hole and say this kinda garbage.

And to end this :
You wrote : “If he’s not reffering to YOU…then shut the hell up” !!!!!!

Was I reffering to “YOU”??

If not ! then YOU need to shut the hell up, I guess.
P.S.
Where the hell is HE ? to defend himself ?

24 06 2008
Merri Lee

WTF happened in this post? I suddenly miss Creole Booty.

25 06 2008
Muse

Wow Persian Chick, your attempt at humor tickled me. Are the Walmart and weave references supposed to be offensive? Walmart is usually patron by working class Whites. As for hair weave, please be advised that 6 out of 10 white girls in LA rock wear weaves. Also someone rocking overpriced designer gear doesn’t faze me nor is it anything to brag about. I prefer to spend my extra 5k per month on investments. Don’t get me wrong, I do like nice things but throwing in the faces of others to prove my superiority isn’t necessary.

Anyway I’m pretty sure your Negro hubby absolutely loves how you view his people. Good to know that the spawn growing in your belly will get a nice dose of self hate before age 2. But here is something for you to ponder: Just because you decided to get knocked up by a Black man doesn’t negate the fact that you are a racist tool who has absolutely no insight to Black people or the world in general.

BTW the slavery references don’t lower my self esteem; it only reminds me of how far as a people we’ve come.

Have a fabulous day Persian Chick.

25 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Someone kick Persian Bitch in the stomach. Someone please buy Persian Chick a copy of “Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria”. The idea that she and whatever useless nigga married her will be raising a Black child is depressing enough to make me want to play in Manhattan traffic.

If you READ Roots, how is it that you can’t spell Kunta? Oh, LMAO at you, BTW. You are about 46% retarted.

25 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Second comment was for Majid, obvs.

25 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LMAO you guys are crazy but I do kind of feel them. A lot of women (myself included) were upset about the comments Chris made in the Aside:Black Women post. So it is understandable that Persians are upset about this one. That being said Persian chick in her attempt at “humor” really did reveal the cardinal difference between racism and a stereotype. The post discussed negative stereotypes commonly associated with people of Persian descent, greasy hair, hairiness (?), style of dress but the post does not insinuate that they are of lower class, or that they are in anyway inferior to any other culture of race IMHO, while the remarks made by Persian chick were just racist rhetoric used to belittle and attempt to make others feel inferior. So while I agree that Persians might find this post a little off-putting; there is a much better way to make an argument is all I am saying.

25 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Where the hell is HE ? to defend himself?”

Why would I defend myself from comedy? You silly man.

Dirka dirka.

25 06 2008
Cy of Persia

I just wanted to point out to the blog writer:
When you start a thread like this about Persians you can easily expect this type of reaction. All of these insults back and forth are embarrassing and unnecessary. You are probably wondering what the hell is going on.
It is due to another cultural difference that American people in general do not know about Persians. In America, Don Rickles style of satire or more recently Apollo Theater/ Def jam comedy is pretty well known. You get insulted, you laugh a little, and you suck it up and move on. In Persia/ Iran insults are taken seriously. Only your closest friends and relatives can joke around with you. If a stranger does it, it will be a never ending ping pong style argument and insults will get more hurtful and poignant each time. I urge you guys from both sides to back off and stop fanning the flames of this fire. Otherwise, you will start hating each other unnecessarily.
People everywhere put their pants on one leg at a time.
My 2 cents worth which is not even worth that with devaluated dollar.

25 06 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Majid…I wasn’t paying attention to Digga’s post because it was insignificant to the point I was making.

I understand you made points yourself as well, but my point was don’t take it so seriously…its just an opinion of one person.

@ Cy, I don’t hate anybody, and I doubt that anybody other than the offended parties are feeling any sorts of hatred.

Honestly, if you guys are offended by this stuff in here, go to the next thread about the black women and tell him that you’re offended by his over-zealous ode to his hatred of black women, as a black man. Trust, I’ve been wronged by PLENTY of black guys, and I still didn’t take offense to his comments.

I understand everybody’s valid points of “stop the racism”, but seriously, white people are going to still have their negative opinions about the brown persuasions. Blacks, Persians, Latinos, Native Americans, etc…yes, whites will ALWAYS have stereotypical opinions of us. And while we are joking amongst the minority community, if a white person were to come in and make a statement, better believe that all of the minorities would jump on their ass and go off.

We stick up for each other. Thats how it is in my area…and I’m sure thats how it is in others. It doesn’t matter who was and who wasn’t a slave. I can say this because my mom’s side of Cherokee, Black, and White relatives were all slave owners (yes, minority slave owners, and I’m not proud)…we owned half of Virginia (now present day West Virginia), and all of the brown people there are my relatives. So hey, I can say your post about slaves while you ruled the world doesn’t apply to me. I’m not getting offended because you talked about slavery. But please realize also that not all blacks (see: African Americans) were products of former slaves. Some of them are first, second and third generation born Americans who’s earlier generations are from the Eastern coast of Africa, which was largely untouched by the slave trade. There are some who are of West Indian descent who didn’t have slavery during the 1800’s because of Toussaint L’Overture’s slave rebellion in Haiti in 1797. You will probably find more Latinos (see: Mestizo; mostly Spanish, Native American and Black hybrids) that are products of slavery and mistreatment than any other group, especially with slavery being abolished last in the world in Brazil (1888).

Please research your history and exercise your brain a bit. If you really look at it objectively, you’re not going to be offended, because there are so many other things in the world to worry about.

Sorry if I was jumping around a bit…I just woke up.

25 06 2008
chaoticdiva

…and for the record, the white people screwed y’all over when both the British and the French claimed the Ottoman Empire as their conquests during the first world war. Damn, at least slaves were taken when they were unguarded…y’all had an army and still were conquested. They robbed you of your entire kingdom, while most of Africa is still widely untouched.*

By the way, the import of slaves from Africa stopped in 1797, and the subsequent slaves were products of slave masters and their female slaves.

*…not to be an asshole or anything.

25 06 2008
Persian History Buff

Chaotic Diva,
Although history lesson are not exactly appropriate in this satire forum but since you brought it up, it is my passion and you are currently a student somewhere, here it goes:
First of All, you are mistaking us with Arabs. Somebody mentioned above that it is the worst cardinal sin and nothing infuriates a Persian more than being mistaken for an Arab.
The land that Ottomans lost in WWI to UK and France were later divided into various ARAB countries called, Iraq, Syria, Kuwait, Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon, Palestine(later to become Israel), Morocco, Libya and Algeria.
Persia/Iran was a rival power both to Ottomans and Russia. We fought with both countries numerous times and had a few success and failures against each of those.
Persia was never involved in WWI and actually took a restful time when Russia and Ottomans were fighting in different sides of the big war.
When Ottomans were defeated and reduced to the present day Turkey, Persia and Turkey actually became friendlier.
In brief, despite all overtures that British tried to take from east and West, our once giant Persian empire which had shrunk to its present day borders stood tall and defended its territories against European powers. Unlike India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, dozen or so Arab countries and all of Africa, even in her most venerable times of history Persia has never been a colony to any European country. Mostly because Persia itself was still in Empire building business until 1826. After 2nd Russo-Persian War, we lost Armenia, Azerbaijan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Georgia, and Dagestan to Russia and decided to get out that business. So, to respond to your comment. No, British inherited the Arab countries from the old Ottomans empire. Persia, itself was an empire and no slouch.

25 06 2008
chaoticdiva

@ Persian History Buff

…I stand corrected.

25 06 2008
PersianChick

Ok, I am back. Happy? Sorry, had to shut down to concentrate on my dissertation. I only have few minutes so listen up because I’m going to make this quick.

@ I am not angry with the writer of this blog. If you go back to my first post, I mentioned that I agreed with him about greasy, hairy, pervert Persian men and I thought it was quiet funny. Although, I don’t think all Persian men are like that, but I have seen a lot of “Persian, Italian wannabee’s” and trust me, we joke about them too.

@ I’m however amazed by the ignorance of most of the readers here. I understand that not everybody is privileged to be a PhD candidate but that if you have internet I don’t see why you can’t google things!

@ A first I thought we were all joking in the “your mamma this” and “your mamma that” style but I guess you all lost your sense of humour. Go get some fried chicken and cheer up (that’s a joke!)

@ Sister Toljada – I promise to pick up a copy of the “Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria” when I visiting America next week. However, I do request that you do not call my husband or anybody else a Nigger! Call him Black. Call him Niggro. But do not call him Nigger or African American. He is not American. He has never lived in America and he doesn’t live in America! (What does that term mean anyway? Seriously!)

@ Muse – Don’t know much about WalMart as we don’t have them in the country that I live in. I did visit a WalMart store once when I was a college student in America. Didn’t care for it.

As for the white girls in LA wearing weaves – that’s because they have bleached their hair (and sometimes their brain too) to death 😉 (now I am going to get hate comments from white chicks)

Although my husband and I have been married for 4 years, we are still “too busy” to have babies. When we do, I hope he/she have his skin color and my hair. Only because us Persians do have really beautiful hair 😉

BTW, I didn’t get knocked up by a black man. Like I said above, babies are yet to come. I married him because he is a beautiful person and because he went down to his knee and proposed with a 1 caret diamond (which my mother quickly replaced with a 5 caret, but that’s how Persians parents are)

Wow Muse, you really got a lot of attention buddy!

@ Shay-d-lady – thank you very much for your input and constructive criticism. I assure you I’m not racist. I’m just playing along. But I guess some people can’t stand the taste of their own medicine.

@ chaoticdiva – wow!!! You’re not only ignorant and uneducated, you also have multiple personality. You seriously need help. Hurry up and call Medicaid before McCain is elected and takes that away from you. Then, read the comment posted by Persian History Buff again and then go do a bit of your own research.

Our history hasn’t always been positive but the truth is, we always manage to pull ourselves away from it and come to the top. Just compare the Iranian community in America (that shouldn’t be too difficult for you to do. You live in America and you have internet, right?) to any other community. Persians started migrating to America only about 30 years ago right after the revolution and mostly during the war with Iraq where weapons including weapons of mass-destructions were being offered to Saddam courtesy of the Reagan administration were being used on us. In your research, you will find that the Persian community is the most successful community in America (and anywhere else in the world for that matter). Instead of playing the race card (it has become easy to do that since 9/11) and wanting to get attention because of the misfortune others have done to us, we work hard and we move on.

@ Persian History Buff – thanks for your input, intelligent feedback and for attempting to educate the underdog here.

Ok, I now need to go. Sorry if I failed to answer any of your specific comments.

Best of luck and do yourself a favor – stop being ignorant and do have a little sense of humor

25 06 2008
ehsan

you know whats funny. you all wish you had the money to dress the way we did, drive the cars we have and have the lifestyle that we live. untill then, stay white trash in your trailers, and stay ghetto in your hoods ok. fucking jelous ass hating motherfuckers.

25 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“you know whats funny. you all wish you had the money to dress the way we did, drive the cars we have and have the lifestyle that we live. untill then, stay white trash in your trailers, and stay ghetto in your hoods ok. fucking jelous ass hating motherfuckers.”

Is that what I wish for? Holy shit, I suck.

25 06 2008
Africanchic

@Persian History Buff– since u are giving history lesson, let me help you out some not all of Africa was colonized by Europeans.

25 06 2008
PersianChick

@Ehsan, take a chil pill or “ab khonak bokhor”.

25 06 2008
Persian History Buff

African Chic,
Yes!
Technically Ethiopia and Liberia were never considered colonies.
Italians came close to taking Ethiopia but they were defeated and pushed away.
Liberia which some cynically call it a US colony, was populated by freed American slaves who transplanted themselves on a country which had its own indigenous tribes. The wars which took place in the late 1990s in the neighboring Sierra Leon showed the world about the horror of tribal differences. I hope that corrects my earlier general statement.

25 06 2008
Muse

So Persian chick what will you do if your child comes out looking like this?

25 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

That kid is 150% Persian, Muse. How racist…

25 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I guess we “just got served” LMAO

25 06 2008
Just Wondering

It seems everybody is avoiding the main topic of this blog.
All of this verbal attacks and emotional bull shit aside, if you wanted to give
this blog a name, it would be ” What makes a Pussy go oh whee?” Because, that is what the writer is complaing about. He was upset that a bunch of new immigrants have come to his turf, his water front park, his clubs and his usual meat markets, obstructing his direct line of contact with ladies who would otherwise see his youthful awesomeness. The word Persian can be interchangeably replaced by the name of any other immigrant group who might have different and perhaps less effective style of chasing after a piece of tail.
So, let’s be honest instead of beating around bush. Just say I hate these forigners who come and chase away or if they are lucky snatch away my snatches.
You guys watch Chris Rock don’t you? He is right when he says that men think about Pussy all the time. Every woman we meet, we think about fucking. Women are more selective in their minds. They know who they want to fuck as soon as they meet him.
But men don’t care if she is white, black, hispanic, native American etc. depending on options and circumstances, we will go for thin, tall, short, petit, big tits, small tits, black booties, latin women who make their beaver look puffy, you name it! If we get drunk and our friends are not around to see it, we will even take a real fat one home.
So, I dare the writer to tell me that I am wrong.
Here is an advice! Consider the world as big ocean to fish in. I guarantee you that there are enough clams to go around.
Don’t worry about the competition.
Who are you going to write an article about next, the lesbians?
Are you going to complain that they are intercepting most of the prime meat before it even gets to the market place? Are you going to say that they have an unfair advantage of being allowed in the ladies locker rooms, dressing rooms etc?

Ladies, I apologize!
I went a little Andrew Dice Clay on you but I had to make my point.

25 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“He was upset that a bunch of new immigrants have come to his turf, his water front park, his clubs and his usual meat markets, obstructing his direct line of contact with ladies who would otherwise see his youthful awesomeness.”

Incorrect. But thanks for playing!

25 06 2008
chaoticdiva

@ persian chick….so I am ignorant because as a non-history major, I confused a historical fact and admitted to my mistake.

…it is taking so much of me not to berate you in a manner which would make you cry.

And for the record, being able to be serious and have a humorous side doesn’t make me have multiple personalities…it just shows my head is not up my ass.

I’m going to stop there before anything rude or profane comes out of my mouth.

*whoo-saah*

26 06 2008
ayman2b

im persian and i think this site is true.!!!
nice job

26 06 2008
PersianChick

@ Muse – would love a kid with a big afro. My husband used to have one when he was little. What would I do? I would put some A/X on him and make him look as cooooool as possible 😉

@ chaoticdiva – please don’t go. love to watch your blood boil. try not to make yourself cry. if that happens, hopefully your other dysfunctional personailtiy will try to ease your pain 😉

I’m afraid that this is my very last post. must get packing and head to the airport.

26 06 2008
Brandi

yea i don’t really agree with this, but i guess i don’t have to. i am both black and persian.

26 06 2008
professionalism

Yeah, the District use to have a “flavor” too it until all of the out of state Yuppies/hippies/buppie duches moved in. I admit, the city was not the safest place to be, and the D.C. government was corrupt as hell and did not give a damn that anyone knew. Georgetown was its own animal, and across the river in Virginia was its own little elitists ply ground.

Now all the rift-raft has been pushed out and has over run Maryland and city gets more hippish (is that even a word) and gayer by the day….THANK YOU WHITE LIBERAL ARTS STUDENTS AND OTHER OUT OF STATE YUPPIE/BUPPIE DOUCHES for making the District a pain in the ass to drive in, taxes so damn high, rent repulsive, gas ridiculous, and the city and federal governments cracking down on everything and anything because your “daddy” has a vested interest in the city (you). Thank you for turning what use to be “chocolate city” into Greenwich Village/San Fransisco. From the bottom of heart….

Now just make sure you keep your asses in NW, in Arlington VA, and away from Maryland.

27 06 2008
Justin

–If you don’t like being lectured by music nerds, please don’t read this comment.–

Techno was actually invented by blacks in Detroit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Techno

Persians, Arabs, and the vast majority of Asians prefer the more melodic and pop-like “trance”*, which was popularized by such European DJs as Armin van Buuren. This can clearly be seen on Saturday nights at Fur or Ibiza.

Because of this, if you go to the more low-key, classic house and techno club nights (of which DC is sorely lacking), you’ll find that the scene is mostly older African-Americans. Thus, your sandbags prefer their music as they do their clothes: cheesy and European.

*Due to the mainstream music media of the 90s, it’s okay to refer to all electronic music as “techno”.

28 06 2008
ChaoticDiva

@ Justin – Kevin Saunderson….awesome dude….formed Techno. I love it!

@ PersianChick….I’m sorry that you’re not getting enough pleasure in the bedroom so you come to me thinking that I actually gave 2 shits about what you wrote.

30 06 2008
PersianBoy

Well well well…

So what if the Persians are affluent.. they also have the highest rate of higher education — and the lowest crime rate — than any ethnic group in the US of A …
You could also get rich if you: a) get a decent education (beyod 4th grade, that is) b) get off welfare and get a good job (no pimping or drug dealing please …)

Then perhaps you can let the rest of us admire your exceptionally refined taste in clothing… and I don’t mean leapard suits, red and white polka dot shirts cum gold chains and stuff…

Und… speaking of hair styles … perhaps you’d prefer those revolting afro bushes, or those greasy tangle-woven ones smarmed with stinking god-knows-what…

Und.. speaking of foreign accents… we have you people to thank for augmenting the English language …. sheeeeeiiiiiiit meeeaaaaaan…

Und…. It is just possible that you people aren’t the best qualified to pass judgement on others.. with all your achievements in science, art, literature (name one … name half… name a little one…)… get real guys…

Get a LIFE!

6 07 2008
Rachel

To the person who said that all of africa was colonized and that they are a history buff and Persian chick:

All of Africa was not colonized. Ethiopia remained free . The Italians tried and failed … They tired again with world war 11 and only managed to stay for 5 years. East Africans’ owned slaves as well dear. My great-great grandfather owned Saudi & Yemini slaves. (This is one of the reasons that so many habesha girls look so “exotic”). Slavery was abolished when Ethiopia joined the league of nations.

13 07 2008
Roham

WOW! I’m somewhat speechless at this whole mess of blog! I’ve stayed up till 6am reading all of these comments! Chris, read the post, it was fun, I had to read your disclaimer before hand though not to take it too seriously. A few things did bother me (sandbags, dynamites, excessive cologne, etc.) but over all it was just satire.

There is a reason why all the Iranians (their country) or Persians (their race) here have a negative reaction to the blog. Most of us Iranians have busted or balls to get to the states.

I have a father who lives in Iran, a mother (nurse) and sister (med school) who live in Vancouver. 20 years old, I’m living alone with no family in LA. I haven’t seen my father for a year now. My tuition for University is 60 grand a year and I’m not eligible for scholarships or financial Aid as I’m Canadian.

The last time I was in Iran (2 years ago), I had to pay $5000 to get out of 2 years of brutal military service. They politics are just as ridiculous as they are in the Sates; import cars (those other than the ones built in Iran) have an 100% tax rate with lots of restrictions, cops bother us about out clothing, whip us (literally) for drinking, throw us in jail for holding hands with girls, and force us to read the fucking Qoran and learn Arabic when we are in elementary school.

Does it make sense?

We all leave to come to the Sates to get away from the enslaving of that ridiculous Arabic regime that is in power in Persian Iran. Ruling us with altered words of Islam (At least not as bad as in Saudi, UAE, Kuwait, Lebanon, Syria and etc.). The Persians above are correct we have been there for 7000 years, we didn’t own any slaves, all ethnicities and cultures did live side by side happily, however that all change 1300 some years ago when the Arabs attacked us and enslaved us with the double headed sword of Islam. We were Zoroastrians who had respect for man kind and suddenly our women were being raped, our children killed and our cities destroyed (they used the statues in Persopolis for target practice, thinking that horses and bulls were our gods).

For two semesters now I have been studying sociology, learning everything I can about the brutal history of this country and its various people, especially those of darker skin color, at the same time I have learned much about my own country, realizing the power the media holds in the United States, how easily people take their education from hollywood. I’ve also learned of the tremendous hate that exists within this country that barely exists in Canada. You see we come here to be, to be who we were before being enslaved. A community was enslaved in the United States for 270 years, segregated and scrutinized for another 100 years, yet our who country has been enslaved for 1300 something years and to this day we are being scrutinized and tortured, and to hear these types of remarks and being diluted with the Arab nations just puts a cherry on top of the storm we’ve had to deal with.

Kind regards

18 07 2008
Angry Persian

To all you haters…you wish you can be as classy as Persian’s are. We do not post forums about being racist and judgmental. I bet the author of this forum has never even been friends with a Persian. We are all people and it is hate like this that is bringing down our world. SO I give you props…you are a nasty, uneducated, racist person. But on the upside…you do prove to be funny. So since I cannot beat you I’ll join you…is this all you have learned from your your monkey like ancestors?

19 07 2008
persiangirl

lol, all the stuff written in the post by the author is so funny. as a persian 20 something woman growing up in canada, we make fun of all the same stuff, because most of this stuff only happens with the fobs (fresh off the boat).. they either just came from iran, and in iran they all wanna look european, hence everyones trying to look italian (by the way, we love being mistaken for italian, portuguese, spanish..you get the point) ..what you point out are total cliches/stereotypes…same as…all black guys wear their pants low, all black guys are rappers, athlets…all black men have big dicks…all black people eat fried chicken, all black people are lazy…etc…you get the point. so all of the things you find funny/annoying, we feel it too, and every culture has thier version of the greasy gross weird guy. i am just happy that persian people are finally getting some attention, look how many comments are on this blog – all this means is that we are really taking over north america, and for this i am proud. (i am tired of the chinese, arabs and indians getting all the attention). another thing to understand is persian people are proud people because we are taught this from the day we are born, we are told we are better, because we are, and why do we feel this way? because of our history (refer to history buff post).

in closing, i love black men, and black men seem to really love persian girls. why is this? in fact, i love all black people, black culture, etc, even though this blog is titled “stuff black people hate”. we still love you!!! 🙂

19 07 2008
riz

As a Black, 20-something woman growing up in California, I don’t really care what you think.

25 07 2008
Bella

someones H-A-T-I-N-G

25 07 2008
proudpersian

There are blogs out there exclusively for Korean, Indian, South Asian, Japanese, Chinese, etc., communities, and I spend a lot of time there, and the Black people blogs are the ones ones that are obsessively racist.

I hope you realize that by focusing so much anger towards Persians (the group to hate for the day), or Asians (the group to hate every day), or other communities, Black people demonstrate their own insecurities, envy, lack of identity.

Other races do not need the time to trash Black people b/c quite honestly, we hardly ever give you all much thought. We do know that both in Africa (and I have traveled to several nations stricken by AIDs) and in America, Blacks are the most impoverished, with complete breakdown of culture, family, and, frankly, anything that makes a civil society function.

So something is deeply wrong within your race, and Black people KNOW IT–which is why you pick on people who come not only with 1000s of years old of rich heritage, like Iran or Asia, but because we are also succeeding. Our cultures have withstood and THRIVED despite colonization, occupation, and imperialism. We still take care of our own.

Instead of bashing us, black people need to work on creating a culture and society that is sustainable and healthy.

The more you bash us, trust me, the more we pity you for being so ridiculously…well, pathetic.

25 07 2008
proudpersian

By the way, Chris, your disclaimer is weak. It is a pathetic attempt at diluting what is obviously an obsession with you (and evident by the comments, your community of Black readers), and that is sublimating your own inadequacies (particularly with women) by bashing other (successful) immigrants. You don’t trash migrant workers because you are not threatened by poor Mexicans. You trash successful immigrants because you (and the Black community) recognize that by failing in the richest nation in the world, and by failing where people with no knowledge of English can succeed, something is really wrong with your community.

Be a man and own up to your racism, and in the process, you may hold on to a woman, because women like strong men (which is probably why the 4 Asian women you dated dumped you). With 70% of Black babies growing up in single homes (what is complete failure of a society), it is OBVIOUS that Black men can hardly call themselves men.

25 07 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

No.

25 07 2008
Soullady

Interesting… I think the article was not so bad and sarcasm is a good thing, but a lot of the comments are way over top – which is not so funny anymore. Even when you are making fun of someone, there is a line of respect you shouldn’t cross.

But stupid people don’t know the fine line between sarcasm and just being nasty and mean. I don’t care if they are white or black, dumb is dumb.

Especially since the commentors cannot take a joke about themselves, then they cry out racism. Now, that is funny considering the things they said about Persians.

And about the hair – I am old enough to remember cherry curls… A lot of black guys ran around with that greasy dripping stuff in their hair. It was so disgusting to touch, not to mention that you had to wash the pillows after they laid there head on.

26 07 2008
riz

What’s a cherry curl??

30 07 2008
Soullady

Jeri curls, I mean. But I haven’t had a chance to write this word before 🙂

6 12 2008
K Dizzle

ahahahaha this is officially my favorite blog! Your club description is spot on, and it goes for the Arabs in the club too. They are worse than Persians imo because they are more aggressive.

6 12 2008
K Dizzle

Jesus H. people, it’s fucking SATIRE! The author was griping, true, but it was clearly all in fun. Furthermore he was talking about a specific group of Iranians that he’s come across, not all Iranian people. Comedians do shit like that all the time. If the sandal fits, wear it, if it doesn’t, go sit the fuck back down on your magic carpet, sip some tea and shut the fuck up.

It’s hilarious seeing all these Iranians respond by coming out of the woodwork with accusations of jealousy and tired, cliched slurs against ALL black people because their egos were bruised. Most of the shit I read about blacks wasn’t even funny because a) it wasn’t original in the least and b) you could tell it was coming from a place of anger and hostility. It even struck a nerve with those of you who admitted that it was clever (coughs *PersianChick*). Pretend as you might, your ass is sensitive and you couldn’t resist ‘striking back’. Stop being so butthurt and just enjoy it for Chrissake!

P.S. Please SPARE us the fucking history lessons people! Just enjoy the blog for what it is.

27 12 2008
farhosh

This blog owner thinks he is maddox, but he has no wit or intelligence, just another ‘shock jock’

17 08 2009
Matt

Even though Persians are annoying with their clothes it can’t honestly can’t ridicule the amount of money black ppl spend on one outfit.

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