Panda Bears

16 06 2008

I’ve pretty much had it up to here* with hearing about motherfucking Panda Bears. Being the news junkie that I am, I’m fairly attuned to shit that I hear about over and over again from different news networks – and I’m all the more aware of it when it’s something that’s goddamn retarded. This week, the culprit was Panda Bears.

A little while ago, the earth went all Numbers 16:31-33 on China and killed somewhere on the order of 50,000+ people last time I checked. In the wake of all this, my favorite news station that I love to hate (NPR) did a number of ‘deep dive’ journalism pieces about various shit that got wrecked in China. Amidst all the chaos, shattered lives, tragic deaths, and nearly incalculable damage, NP fucking R decides that one of its first exposés on the aftermath of the quake will be…

…the effect of the quake on Giant Pandas.

I don’t understand why people are so goddamn obsessed with Pandas, especially in this country. White people in particular just love the motherfuckers, and I can only assume it’s linked with their decades-long obsession with everything asian.

Panda Bears are stupid for more reasons that I can count, but I’m going to include the top three here:

1.) They are Black and White.

Pandas – like fascists, racists, and the Sith – see everything in absolutes. They are too stupid to make complex decisions or appreciate the world’s many dimensions, so they break everything down into two categories to make life easier for their dumbass selves. Panda’s are so narrow minded in this respect that their binary thinking actually permeates into their fur, which is black and white to reflect the short-sighted way they view the world. This leads us directly to the second reason that Panda Bears suck…

2.) They are White Supremacists

Take a look at this picture:

Figure 1: Look at this asshole.

This picture may seem innocent and maybe even cute on first glance. But lying under this resting Panda is a racial subtext that ain’t so cute. Notice first that the majority of the bear’s fur is white. A lot of people don’t know that a Panda gets to choose how much white and black fur it has, and every single Panda chooses to have way more white than black. Now, take a look at what else is happening in the picture. The white majority of the bear – the head, stomach, and back – is resting peacefully. But what are the black parts doing? That’s right, the black arms and legs are doing all the work keeping the bear in place. What are the black ears and eyes doing? Listening and looking for threats in the form of other Pandas. Despite the fact that the blacks are doing all the slave labor…where does all the delicious Panda fat go? Right to the white belly. Fuck you, Panda.

3.) They are Vegetarians

Nobody likes a vegetarian…or at least nobody that matters. We’ve all had the misfortune of meeting a vegetarian. You know, they’re those fucking people who practically soil themselves with pleasure when they get the opportunity to say “no lamb for me, thanks – I don’t eat meat.” Then they sit there with a smug shit-eating grin on their face as they eat their rabbit food and act like they’re better than you. Meanwhile you sit there eating your steak fried steak’em getting the amino acids that can ONLY be found in meat and are credited with the evolutionary development of the human brain which allowed us to do awesome shit like discover fire and cure Polio. If it were up to vegetarians, we’d have never made it past Cro-Magnon and people’d still be dying from the common cold – so we can safely conclude that all vegetarians harbor a latent desire to wipe out humanity. This doesn’t really have anything to do with Panda bears, but come on…

Figure 2: LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE!!!!!

*I have no idea where ‘here’ is.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

387 responses

16 06 2008
Lola

Peta will get you for this … and I will laugh.

16 06 2008
The Doc Is In

I take it you didn’t check out Kung Fu Panda this weekend? Heh heh.

“The white majority of the bear – the head, stomach, and back – is resting peacefully. But what are the black parts doing? That’s right, the black arms and legs are doing all the work keeping the bear in place. What are the black ears and eyes doing? Listening and looking for threats in the form of other Pandas. Despite the fact that the blacks are doing all the slave labor…where does all the delicious Panda fat go? Right to the white belly. Fuck you, Panda”

Aaaaaannnnd I just dislodged something laughing so hard. Thanks!

16 06 2008
ph2072

Absolutely hilarious!

I like pandas. Leave them alone LOL.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

HAHAHAHAHA. Pandas are so cute. Kung Fu Panda was really funny. I don’t say this because I spent 10 dollars to go see it, I say this because I watched it on my internets.

And by the way, a panda is adorable but if you scare it, it won’t hesitate in ripping your face off. It won’t eat your face like say, a polar bear, but it will rip it off and then go right back to sitting on it’s fat ass snarfing down bamboo leaves like nothing happened.

16 06 2008
Sylph

Aww…but they crap rainbows and glitter!

I like panda bears and the two pics you posted had me smiling but I know that those cute faces belong to vicious fuckers who will kill you if you try to go near them. Underneath those eyes, Ling Ling wants to play with your head and not in a good way.

16 06 2008
Ariel

Awww Panda! At least it’s a fun word to say.

I hate the Sith, but Darth Maul was pretty cool looking, too bad he wasn’t as bad ass to back it up.

16 06 2008
OLM

I have a question. This is from a purely scientific standpoint and I love most animals: What would happen if pandas became extinct?

All I could gather is more bamboo and money going towards something useful other than making and showing panda porn to other pandas.

16 06 2008
Michael

You forgot their hate for all things sex.

What other animal doesn’t want to mate? For Christ sakes some animals know death follows mating and are still fighting over it. I think God made pandas to one day be extinct.

@OLM

If the pandas die, terrorist win? Yeah I don’t know why we try to save half the species that are going extinct other then to have them around to look at.

16 06 2008
Educated NSU Demon

Aww come on, you gotta love the pandas! Funny read though

16 06 2008
shabooty

thank god for pandas cause if panda’s weren’t invented by god, there’d be no panda-express… n i need my chinker chinese food!

$$$HUZZAH!

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Oh fuck, I”m done. Dead in the AM. I am not coming back on this site at all today. Damn racist pandas and their binary thought. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAH.
oh shit too much. number one classic. this beats killer bees. And extra points for steakumms (some in my freezer right now)
Oh pandas. You forgot to mention how deceptively dangerous those fuckers are. They only eat veg but they can rip your fucking face off. Whats the point of arming the vegetarians? None of their food can attack them, and they can climb trees. They only have claws because they’re too fat and lazy to run like the rest of the grass eaters in the animal kingdom. 🙂 Going back to the killer bees, this is what happens when you mix white with black. The white parts of them are fat and lazy, and the black parts of them are violent as hell.

The best thing for vegetarians is to fry your veg in the meat juices, then offer then up.-hey, they’re still veg. Or offer them some greens or something with a big piece of unidentifiable pork in it. Do this to non-pork eating black folk too. Even put bacon in your mac and cheese. O
h and try the chicken fried steak. Double your meat if at all opportunities. If you meet any vegans. They should be hit in the face. All of them. And put cheese and honey on everything thing you offer a vegan and then hit them in the face, can’t even use products of animal snobby bastards.

16 06 2008
Soup Kitchen Scoundrel

Wow, thanks for making me feel like some sort of douchebag for liking pandas. I think it is more of a fat man thing than a racist sort of thing. Wait…I don’t have to explain myself to you. You’re not my father! The yelling was unnecessary…I’m sorry.

16 06 2008
r.g

yeah the’ll probably rip your head off, but c’mon now, they’re so cute..

16 06 2008
zoso

“thank god for pandas cause if panda’s weren’t invented by god, there’d be no panda-express… n i need my chinker chinese food!”

Amen Shabooty. That stuff is good! Too bad there isn’t one where I live. I gotta drive 1.75hrs to get it. Still worth it.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

Completely unbased and ridiculous, and hilarious. Hahahahaha!

16 06 2008
vitazza

hahaa…..I luv panda’s but I wouldn’t pet one at show-n-tell at the zoo…one would/could kill you quick….. mostly the self-hating black parts!!!!

16 06 2008
Angry IV

I think the worst part about Pandas too is that they claim to be bears, however, they aren’t. They’re marsupials, which makes them in the same breath as Kangaroos, Sloths, and Koalas. The only cool marsupial is the Kangaroo, due to his ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and score Mike Tyson-esque first round knockouts via his feet while perched on his tail. TIGHT.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

A kangaroo owning a human:

His time spent after said ownage:

And finally, he ends the night like a true champion:

16 06 2008
Esquire

FUNNY. Im working today. For real.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

OMG my post sucked…too early. Here’s the pictures to go along with my comment:

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

16 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAH You are truly an ass for this one! The Sith!?!

16 06 2008
WargodPR1

LMAO!!!!!! This one was far too funny for words….

16 06 2008
Lindsay

Oh, and don’t forget DC area broadcast news coverage of Tai Shan at the National Zoo. There’s a ‘special report’ every time he walks, ages or farts, and its sickening.

16 06 2008
Shan Shan

Quietly, I feel like you were really stretching for a topic today.

16 06 2008
Knatural

“And put cheese and honey on everything thing you offer a vegan and then hit them in the face…”-Willnotbetelevised
We’re friends again (I guess).

Angry – thanks for the warning for Picture 3. I usually enjoy watching kangaroo coitus at 9am. Thanks.

16 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Quietly, I feel like you were really stretching for a topic today.”

That’s not very quiet at all.

Be advised that I literally have a queue of hate topics that now numbers at 306 – and that doesn’t include my writings about breaking news and current events. I never, EVER stretch for topics. I am just a random and decidedly strange person.

16 06 2008
stuffgirlslike

I always knew that the writer of this blog was a bit mad, but when you started saying a panda was white supremacists I Knew that it would not take you much to tip you over the edge.

You have mad skills Chris.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

16 06 2008
Landon

The Black parts do all the slave labor… so wrong…

i never understood why they eat bamboo when they say it has very little nutritional value….

accroding to the news cast, they had a funeral (including a castket for the female panda and her care giver put two apples and a biscuit next to her grave because it was her favorite meal… while some people who died in China were buried in mass graves… WTF…… ?

what is this world coming to.
Mike Vick goes to Jail for fighting Dogs…. and there is an uproar like a wildfire
R Kelly URINTATES on lil girls and has sex with them, gets off and no one makes a big deal about it… If that little girl was WHITE do you think the verdict would have been differnt? Or at least the uproar?

16 06 2008
Imsoalmondie

“Despite the fact that the blacks are doing all the slave labor…where does all the delicious Panda fat go? Right to the white belly. Fuck you, Panda.”

LOL!!! I can’t be sitting here at my desk in the morning reading your posts Boy!!! I stay getting looks from people like” She has some nerve laughing this early in the morning.” If they only knew.

16 06 2008
www.thewhyblog.net

Pandas make the world go round

http://www.thewhyblog.net

16 06 2008
Saun

I never quite got the obsession about pandas. I personally like Koala bears cause they’re brown.

This post reminds me of Stephen Colbert and his blatant hatred of all bears. Hilarious!

16 06 2008
klysha

LMFAO! You just might be certifiably insane. I am so with you on the vegetarians….if we weren’t meant to eat meat we wouldn’t have all the different types of teeth we have. But I am now hanging my head in shame for sitting in a movie theater on Friday watching Kung Fu Panda. Me and my grown a$$ed 31 year old friends. In retrospect I think I did sense something sinister in that danged panda I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Thanks for shedding some light….LOL

http://www.mysixcents.wordpress.com

16 06 2008
Landon

Am i the only one who is not a FAN of Rev (still questioning that one) Al “I get my hair permed” Sharpton….

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,367190,00.html

they are about to come down hard on this brother….. and i am not even mad…
I knew him and Jesse been pimping us…

16 06 2008
Mr. Smith

LOL Pandas would be extinct if we didn’t save them. As Michael’s proof, the things are too fucking stupid to survive on their own. And what living being on this planet doesn’t like sex?

Panda = Sith
LMAO!!!!!

16 06 2008
Mr. Smith

Al Sharpton really thinks he’ the ambassador for all black people…

16 06 2008
superwoman

heh heh heh, chris, you’re a madman! i’m a vegetarian, but a very circumspect one…. i never make it anyone elses problem or issue that i don’t eat meat, and i never ever announce it! i just quietly dish up my veg (of which there is ALWAYS plenty) and tuck in heartily, grateful for a delish meal….

i think your anger towards the poor panda’s is…. misplaced. and i’ve never heard that whole ‘panda can choose how black/white they are’ theory… are you SURE, chris??? sure-sure????

16 06 2008
shyGirl

A vegetarian hunting for food:

Maybe the man’s jacket was made of bamboo.

16 06 2008
Landon

Al Sharpton does not speak for me… I know that much…

I must prefer. Dr. rev. Calvin Butts III to be my repersenative in community issues.

The funny thing about the whole OBAMA situation… on the low Al and Jesse have been hating on him since the begining. But if Obama wins… Sharpton is going to press him for some type of nominated position

16 06 2008
Knatural

Al Sharpton?! Never trust a man with a conkaline…
Obama is too smart to put Sharpton in his cabinet, you crazy?

16 06 2008
Landon

i know he wont… i am saying Big Worm aka Al Sharpton is going to try his best, same for Jesse…

One guy He should nominate to run Fema – was that black General who took over at Katrina – telling all those soilders to put there GUNS DOWN these are AMerican Citizens…

Colin Powell suggested he woudl support Obama. He needs to be Sec. Of Defense so he can rebuild his legacy after BUSH destroyed it!

16 06 2008
Knatural

Landon – The General (Honore?) wasn’t Black, he was Creole.

16 06 2008
Angel30

Chris, I hate you. Angry IV, I hate you even more for those pics.

16 06 2008
Landon

If it was 1945 would he get lynched? Yes – BLACK…

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Landon (13:39:18):
Am i the only one who is not a FAN of Rev (still questioning that one) Al “I get my hair permed” Sharpton….

No. No you are not. In fact, that’ s how Chris kicked off this whole hate fest. The Fraudulent Four

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Haha, Obama’s cabinet. This could make for fun conversation. I nominate Jacque Reid as National Press Secretary.

16 06 2008
Landon

Fine Creole it does not matter he could be Orthodix Jew for all i care… That man should RUN FEMA..

To me people didnt see the overlying problem with the disater of Katrina. That was a strom we knew was coming had an idea how much dmamaged might be caused and we couldnt handle it. So if FEMA could not handle that what about a real terroist attack or military attack that catches us off guard. D YOU REALL Y WANT FEMA COMIGN TO YORU AID? HELL TO THE NAW

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

LOL…I come back from the conference I got to waste my weekend away at (not really, but it felt like it) to this…thanks for my first REAL laugh of the day Chris!

16 06 2008
Omar

I wonder what would have happened if R. Kelly raped a Panda????

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I heard R. Kelly likes baby panda porn.

Spread da rumor

16 06 2008
Knatural

Landon – I was being sarcastic. Relax.

16 06 2008
Landon

my fault – knatural its monday 😦

16 06 2008
Omar

Hmm… now why would FOX “News” want to portray Al Sharpton as the voice for black people….

…because Fox “News” hates black and all other non white and/or non rich peoples.

16 06 2008
shabooty

your next hate topic should be ‘really long hate topic lists’ that you dunno what to choose from.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

In keeping with today’s randomness – what do you guys think about Obama’s Father’s Day speech?

16 06 2008
Landon

It was the TRUTH.

to many Black women in our community have to be the Mother and Father…
SImply put. If 50% of the men who have children but dont supoprt them did their job you would see an instant decrease in crime and mass improvements in our community.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

and a whole lot less strippers

16 06 2008
Landon

WAIT…

not sure… i want that to happen.

16 06 2008
Landon

damn catch 22

be able to get robbed by one of their damn children

or
still be able to make it rain on someone….

this might take a full televised debate.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Anderson Cooper: “Senator Obama, you have advocated tax credits for men who pay child support and penalties for absentee fathers. Have you thought about the impact that this will have on the adult entertainment industry, and ultimately, the economy as a whole?”

16 06 2008
Cheekie

For some reason, calling a panda an asshole makes me bust into a fit of giggles.

Omar (14:24:58) :

I wonder what would have happened if R. Kelly raped a Panda????

Other pandas would still bump n’ grind to his music and a jury full of pandas would acquit him. And, unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time), “Trapped in the Closet” would still exist…but with pandas.

16 06 2008
Omar

As long as people are willing to pay there will be strippers I met a woman whose parents were successful lawyers and she was a stripper. Oddly enough she made as much per hour as they did.

I didn’t hear the speech but we haven’t had real leaders who at the same time, can connect with the masses of black people on a social level can also be critical of them as well, in a long time.

Hate to speak of love on a hate blog but I freakin love the Obama’s!!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Mark my words: R. Kelly’s next tour is gonna be The Teflon Don Tour, or something equally mocking the “justice” system. But I’m not worried. The man has a real problem and he’ll do it again. And when he does – I hope he’s holding up his ID, singing Piss On You, with his grandmother by his side, saying “That’s My Baby.”

16 06 2008
Landon

lol

16 06 2008
Esquire

Omar, thats not odd. Strippers can make a buttload of money.

16 06 2008
Landon

saying his social security number

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Be advised that I literally have a queue of hate topics that now numbers at 306

Thank Goodness. I’ve been wondering how long you could keep this up. I’m glad to see that the well of hate runs deep.

16 06 2008
Omar

@ Yonnie – WOWW!!! That is proof that they don’t mind profiting of of our misery.
I officially hate CNN.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Leaving piss soaked finger prints at the scene

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Omar – Anderson didn’t really say that!! I just said that b/c Landon said it should be a debate topic.

LOL. I should’ve let that one slide. I love spreading rumors. You know what? Fuck it. Spread the rumor. Anderson Cooper that racist blue blood bastard!!

16 06 2008
B

BUT PANDAS ARE SO CUTE!!!

-is a vagina-

16 06 2008
Ethel

@ Sylph: “Aww…but they crap rainbows and glitter!”
Thank goodness it’s early here or people would be wondering why I suddenly fell off my chair. LMAO!

Yes, the panda makes one’s first reaction to be something akin to: Iddims diddims a cutsey wootsey babee booo!

But in reality, they are kinda dumb and it’s amazing they’re still around at all. Without human intervention, Panda’s would have probably died out. Here’s why: 90% of their diet is bamboo. Where they get 90% of their nutrition: anything other than bamboo. Zoo’s have to feed them pellets/vitamin supplements so they’ll actually be able to have the strength to chow down on all that bamboo that has to be hauled in.

Although come to think of it, bamboo does grow pretty fast. Maybe Panda’s are nature’s weedwackers.

16 06 2008
Knatural

True funny stripper story: A stripper dressed in all white (how virginal) holding a drink walks by me and my bastard husband, stumbles and falls so hard she badly scrapes both knees, a boob pops out, and her barrette falls off. But she didn’t spill her drink. I always laugh at people stumbling/falling. Sorry.

R. Kelly is an embarrassment. Perv.

16 06 2008
Landon

I ALWASY GAVE CREDIT TO ANYONE WHO COULD bust their ass but still not spill their drink… its a skill.

16 06 2008
Esquire

It does take talent to fall and not spill a drink. Damn AND she scraped her knees like a 4 year old

16 06 2008
Landon

To the dismay of Chris – i saved mywhite neighbors lil toddler yest. i was walking home from Church and i got to my brownstone when my neighbors 1 year old son started tumbling down the stairs. I was able to jump up and catch him by the 5th step even though he did two full backflips with a twist befor i could grab him.. he would of hit about 8 more steps…

However, i think CHRIS would of just let him fall and keep on walking like nothing was wrong… lol..

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I have an embarrassing yet uncontrollable problem: I always laugh when I see children bite it. I always feel bad for it…but not bad enough to not do it. I’m actually thankful when I hear a yelp and I turn around and a child is on the ground – b/c I didn’t actually see them fall and therefore, don’t have to look their parent in the eye as I giggle uncontrollably.

16 06 2008
Dom

LMAO @ Yonnie3k! “Thats my Robert, always pissing on people!” Lol!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAo@ this post….I think Panda’s are cute..i smell a hater…jokes hahaha I died out laughing when i read this

This picture may seem innocent and maybe even cute on first glance. But lying under this resting Panda is a racial subtext that ain’t so cute. Notice first that the majority of the bear’s fur is white. A lot of people don’t know that a Panda gets to choose how much white and black fur it has, and every single Panda chooses to have way more white than black. Now, take a look at what else is happening in the picture. The white majority of the bear – the head, stomach, and back – is resting peacefully. But what are the black parts doing? That’s right, the black arms and legs are doing all the work keeping the bear in place. What are the black ears and eyes doing? Listening and looking for threats in the form of other Pandas. Despite the fact that the blacks are doing all the slave labor…where does all the delicious Panda fat go? Right to the white belly. Fuck you, Panda.

Dude you sooooo need a fucking vacation!!!! hilarious…i would have never thought of Panda’s that way…

btw Kung Fu Panda was funny as hell! I love Jack Black…

16 06 2008
Knatural

Whomever saw Kung Fu Panda this weekend, instead of The Happening and/or The Incredible Hulk sucks. Thank you.

Thought: Pandas are scary because they’re Chinese. The Chinese are slowly taking over by poisoning children’s toys with lead, poisoning dog food, investing in Africa, and preparing consistently tasty foods that Americans can’t resist. The Panda is China’s national symbol, too. Beware.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

umm as for not spilling drinks while falling..it is a skills hands down..I feel once and didnt spill my drink…fuck all that i paid a good 8 bucks on this drink!

Falling children always hilarious!!! My little 5 yr old cousin HILARIOUS FALLER(is that a word ahah). When this child was 3 she fell down our grandmother’s steps going to the basment..fell down all them bithes and them hit the tv..I was trying sooo hard not to laugh but i could help it..she didnt even cry..she got up like it was nothing…this girl has so many stories..i swore she was super toddler..give had a tv fall on her head and she didnt cry nothing..no bumps or brusies…but my thing was where the fuck are here parents at when this shit happens!! lol

But I laugh whenever i see someone fall…it pretty bad…i was laughing when i saw someone on the news bust their ass on ice….i got issues…

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

that should be someone fall in general wow im getting like Somali and forgetign to type extra words…

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

well we would have went to see the Hulk and made it a dbl future and see Happening..but we had his daughter with us so yea that wasnt going down…

16 06 2008
Landon

Wait a tv fell on her and she didnt cry? She fell down a whole flight of stairs and she didnt cry?

Does she take bullets also? Butt whopping must do nothign to this child.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahah Landon foreal man..i watched this child fall down the stairs and hit the tv…and before anyone could catch her it was already done with..she would make the face like she was about to cry but she didnt hahahah…take bullets hahahah i dont think so..but girl is a pistol alright!

Butt whoopings hahah for some reason work but having a tv fall on her head didnt do shit hahah

16 06 2008
donnie

wooo lawdie! this blog is the hotness! funny hotness! you have a new devotee!

but on the subject of pandas…i dunno if i really believe they exist…. the same way i feel about giraffes…. they are just too freakin weird to be true!! kaman!! … those long ass necks, how could that be for real?

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Donnie – I’mma need you to get out more. For real. Go to a zoo, man. Dinosaurs I understand. But giraffes?

16 06 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knat- “Thought: Pandas are scary because they’re Chinese. The Chinese are slowly taking over by poisoning children’s toys with lead, poisoning dog food, investing in Africa, and preparing consistently tasty foods that Americans can’t resist. The Panda is China’s national symbol, too. Beware.”

OMG, stop that. You sound like my mother. She is like a one woman army against China. Every conversation we have, she manages to find a way to tie in how China is destroying the world. She took a one week break after the earthquake but she is back on her hate game. The other day we were talking about vanity sizing and the inconsistency in sizes from store to store for women’s clothing. Somehow it got back to the Chinese making all the clothes wrong. I called her another day to tell her about this cute little 9 dollar dress I got at Target and the first thing out of her mouth was “Yeah, I bet it was made in China though”. (It was.) Mention grocery shopping for fish, that’s gonna take you back to China as well.

Kids falling is absurdly funny. Bailey Blues and I were watching this cute little girl on her scooter a few weeks ago and as soon as we commented on how cute she looks…BAM! Bites the hell out of the pavement. I had to duck so her dad wouldn’t see me laughing. Falling period is funny, so long as no one is really hurt.

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Seriously…I laugh at kids who eat it too…but first I wait to make sure they aren’t bleeding profusely…and when you laugh at some of them, it makes them cry harder…which makes me laugh harder.

16 06 2008
donnie

you know yonnie, i would but you have to pay to get in man. broke college student… i restrict all of my activities to the free stuff. I haven’t seen the inside of a zoo since i was 10 ( cus my mother paid and she said she not doing shit like that no more)… and they were no giraffes then… ha!

16 06 2008
Muse

Damn Chris you banging on Pandas buddy?

BTW I don’t think animals that can potientially eat people are cute. FUCK that.

I’ve seen when animals gone wild and this one Panda took a bite out of this one trainer’s face. During the video I heard a white woman in the background screaming “BILLY BILLY OMG SOMEONE HELP BILLY!”

But for some sick ass reason I laughed until I cried.

16 06 2008
Muse
16 06 2008
Esquire

I also hate cats. Whats thier purpose?

16 06 2008
Esquire

…other than CHINESE FOOD.

Shouts out to Sister Toldja’s mom.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol Muse i saw the same video few months back lol..i was laughing my ass off..He just wanted the jacket 🙂 hahah fuck that shit thought..he got what he deserved!! he shouldnt have been sitting so close to the exibit with salad in his coat pocket….the last part is false but what if that was the reason why the Panda wanted the jacket in the 1st place…dude has crisp baby spinach in the joint lol

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahah Cats..ahh cats..i hate cats… i had a cat when i was younger..mom got rid of her yrs ago when she started shitting on the floor instead of the litter box and then would wipe her has on the floor…I love my dog though…

Useless Pets:
-Cat
-Hamster
-Fish
-Ferrets
-Snakes
-Frogs
-Birds

16 06 2008
Bailey Blues

Wait, Knatural you were at a strip club?

I love laughing at kids when they fall, really i’ll laugh at anybody. I do feel bad for laughing at this older lady on the train who fell. I wasn’t going to laugh, but the fat lady across from me was cracking up and I couldn’t help it. She wasn’t hurt…thanks to her falling on my damn leg and me holding her up.

Yo, funny post Chris. I don’t really like any animals so fuck em all.

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Useless Pets:
-Cat
-Hamster
-Fish
-Ferrets
-Snakes
-Frogs
-Birds

They’re useless cause they’re not meant to be pets…and seriously, what’s the point of a pet again?

16 06 2008
Landon

I don’t like Cats but at least they can catch mice and so on if they ever get into yoru apartment or house…

But i love dogs eventhough i am allergic to Dogs except for dogs with hair like those damn Toy Yorkies, because they have hair instead of fur (poodles also)… but i be damn if i’ll be a gorwn as man walking down the street with a yorkie or poodle. They are pointless.

The other day i saw a white couple with a stroller, i look inside expectign to see a child but long and behold it was a damn english bull dog…. You are suppose to walk a dog, not put them in a stroller. It was one of those high tech strollers with the bike wheels, abs breaks, air bag… i was in total shock.

16 06 2008
Deviant

I read this and its as if I’m reading an article from Stephen Colbert

16 06 2008
C.I.T.

@ Muse’s comment: “I’ve seen when animals gone wild and this one Panda took a bite out of this one trainer’s face. During the video I heard a white woman in the background screaming “BILLY BILLY OMG SOMEONE HELP BILLY!”But for some sick ass reason I laughed until I cried.”

I have to admit…I ALWAYS laugh when the animal f*cks somebody up. It’s wrong, I know and I’m still praying to Jesus for help on that one.

*snickering*

16 06 2008
A.K.

I like Kung Fu Pandas and Drunken Panda Warriors.

And what’s with all the religious mumbo jumbo. You know, not everyone reads the book of White Jesus…

16 06 2008
Deesigner

” I haven’t seen the inside of a zoo since i was 10 ( cus my mother paid and she said she not doing shit like that no more)… and they were no giraffes then…”

Donnie, is your last name Fintstone?

16 06 2008
Monie

Lmao@Tameko Peek, out of work Paralegal!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon-The other day i saw a white couple with a stroller, i look inside expectign to see a child but long and behold it was a damn english bull dog…. You are suppose to walk a dog, not put them in a stroller. It was one of those high tech strollers with the bike wheels, abs breaks, air bag… i was in total shock.

LMAOOOO fucking white ppl…rolls eyes.. i bet their dog is fat too…i cant stand when ppl put dogs in strollers liek they are children and cloth them.. The point of walking a dog is for him or her to get excersise and piss and poop. not to walk his ass ina stroller like he’s an infant WTFFF!! I have a Rotti, Shepard mix and her little butt needs to be walked not babied. The only time i but clothes on her was when it was raining and cold as shit out.. I put a bob marely shirt that got to big on her and she loves it. I look at her as my kid but not to the extremes of her riding in a damn stroller.

When animals attack i laugh my ass off because the ppl deserve that shit…Like when well people realize that wild animals such as lions, tigers, bears ect are WILD ANIMALS!!!..like what makes ppl think they like living ina fucking cage or jumping through fire hoops, and then get surprised when the thing mawls your face off. If i was a tiger..who is suppose to be hunting for gazels n shit on my hine legs jumping through fire hoops for white ppl i would fuck one of them up too.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Yeah, Bailey – I went to a “gentlemen’s club” in Baltimore (don’t go!) last fall. The drinks were good! And those girls are surprisingly athletic! However, I was shocked at their boldness. One girl asked us if we were going to tip her not. Uh, no. Move along Becky.

Children falling – HILARIOUS. As long as they don’t hurt themselves. Children bleeding – not hilarious.

Um, Donnie? The zoo is outside, and it’s free, right? I love the zoo. It’s fun to mock the other primates since they never evolved. Dumbasses.

16 06 2008
Landon

Chris Rock:

Nothing is wrong with that tiger…

The Tiger Went Tiger!

16 06 2008
Angel30

PrettyPiscesGirl, you are evil.
Ms. Epps, glad you guys had enough sense not to take a kid to see The Happening. There were tons of kids at the theater when I went Saturday – I was sooo pissed. This movie is graphic as hell! And we are the only ones that do that shit. I have NEVER seen a White or Asian person with their kids in an inappropriate movie – I don’t even think I’ve seen Hispanic kids. Damn shame. There should be a law.

16 06 2008
Omar

@PrettyPiscesGirl – “They’re useless cause they’re not meant to be pets…and seriously, what’s the point of a pet again?”

THANK YOU!!

@Landon – Soooo you buy a pest(cat), that you have to feed and clean up after, to catch another pest that’s not bold enough to take a shit in the middle of the floor, perhaps you didn’t think this through.

16 06 2008
Landon

1.42 min. second in talking about the TIger went Tiger

16 06 2008
Angel30

@ Landon “The other day i saw a white couple with a stroller, i look inside expectign to see a child but long and behold it was a damn english bull dog…. You are suppose to walk a dog, not put them in a stroller. It was one of those high tech strollers with the bike wheels, abs breaks, air bag… i was in total shock.”

I think I would have kicked the stroller over & ran.

16 06 2008
Angel30

@ Omar “Soooo you buy a pest(cat), that you have to feed and clean up after, to catch another pest that’s not bold enough to take a shit in the middle of the floor, perhaps you didn’t think this through.”

GREAT point, I never thought about it that way (although I have a dog & he’s good for scaring people)

16 06 2008
Landon

I would have done that but the dog might chase your ass unlike a toddler…

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yea Angel30..what is up with black ppl taking their kids to rated R movies..smh…but yea Kung Fu panda was cute and she enjoyed it…but not as much as the father’s day cookout at my parents yesterday…girl was having a ball with my Mom..she even cried because she didnt want to go home and wanted to spend the night at my parents house LOL…But we are def hitting up The Happening and The Hulk next weekend..

16 06 2008
Monie

Off- topic: Is it just me or does anyone else think the media has gone overboard with the Tim Russert tributes?

He was an okay journalist, except for the fact that he let the Vice President, President and Condi come on his show to promote the American War in Iraq without asking any real questions of them. He (Tim Russert) wasn’t the only journalist that let them skate but everyone is acting like he’s the greatest journalist of all time.

16 06 2008
Omar

I’m not mad at the pet in stroller walkin, sex-in-the city, no children havin, african-baby adopting white people because betwwen that, immigration and the inherent fertility of black folks my grandchildren may not be living in a majority-white country.

Just as long we can stop killing each other and stop dying from eating too many “Luthers”.

16 06 2008
Landon

i dont have a cat
and cats usually use a liter… i was just making a point. but you also make a point.

watching Tiger Woods win this playoff

Forget Tiger WOods money, i’ll take Tiger woods caddy money. This mofo made 900k last year… he quit Med School to be Tigers Caddy… and he made the right choice.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Hey now, I love cats. They eat their food, shit in a box and leave me the fuck alone until they want attention which is usually when I want to give them attention. Dogs bug the living hell out of me. I love my dog because he’s ridiculous and sweet and a little nut. But dogs that slobber and climb all over you and need to be taken outside to shit drive me crazy. It’s like having a child only you bought the fucking thing and brought it into your house.

And little kids biting it: funniest shit ever. I remember this kid at the park totally eating shit on a trail that I was walking on with my mom and sisters. She cried for like, 10 seconds, got up and took off running again.

16 06 2008
Peacock Strut

LMFBAAO!!! Chris you are effin hilarious! You are so right about vegetarians! They ALL think they’re SO much better than the rest of us, like they have this moral authority over the rest of us for defying NATURE. You’ve got to do an expose on those smug bastards. LOL! Don’t stop what you’re doin bruh.

16 06 2008
Ethel

How much does Tiger Woods’ umbrella girl/guy make? Cuz I could do that job…AND pull the wheelie cooler.

Yeah, I can multi-task.

16 06 2008
Landon

is all fun and games talking about lil kids falling hard but i remember some of my bad falls as a kid…

I was like 4 messing around with my older brother jumping on a bed. I fell of the bed and hit my head. My teeth went through my tongue and i had to go to the hosptial THey had to put stiches in my tongue… NOT COOl
!!!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

One time I ran full speed ahead into this really clean sliding glass door. I know I looked like a damn cartoon the way I bounced off the glass.

I know I’m not the only one.

16 06 2008
Knatural

I saw The Happening friday, Hulk on Saturday, worth the $20. This Hulk was truer to the comics, not like that other crap film. While watching the Happening I was surrounded by a sea of white faces (surprising for Chinatown DC), no one yelled at the screen, and zero kids. I was scared.

Dog in the stroller – wrong. Was the dog dressed, too?

Omar, probably true. After Obama becomes president, I bet there will be a population boom among Blacks.

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

I will never forget the genocide in Rwanda. Pictures of bodies floating down rivers, bodies hacked to death, 1 million + dead. Oh, the story? HOW THE GENOCIDE WILL THREATEN THE ENDANGERED MOUNTAIN GORILLA!!! Anger Level = Infinity.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Ewwww Landon….soooo did not need that image in my head.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Domestic cats can all die off.

Wild cats are fucking awesome. They have sharp teeth and will bite a person in half. Lions rule kill a stupid wildabeast in a millasecond. Tigers will eat those things as appetizers.

BTW: what is a wildebeast’s (wildabeest?) purpose. I shouldnt question God. I guess they are just food. They are the dumbest animals on the fucking planet (besides Bob Johnson) Who named that animal? That is a stupid fucking name. Almost as bad as peacock.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Vegetarians can kiss ass btw…i have a friend who is vegetarian..and would come to my house for dinner. and at my parents house their is no such thing as eatting just rabbit food. My step-dad is italian-irish so he cooks with alot of sauces, meats and pasta(fatting as hell but goooooodddd) So whenever her ass would come over my mom would be like “OMG are you starving your self child eat some sausage” and my friend told her she was a rabbit food eater..what would my mom do when dinner came around..she would put a big ass piece of chicken, steak, veal, pork chop on her plate with salad, I would crack the fuck up because it would make my friend sick everytime she looked at that big ass peice of meat on her plate…make a long story short..she’s no longer a vegetarian 🙂

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

Side note: Vegetarian food

16 06 2008
Knatural

Landon – your ass shouldn’t been jumping on the bed. 😀

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

The Hulk wasn’t so bad; I didn’t go to the theater but i enjoyed it just the same. The Happening was bs to the extreme. marky mark was cute and funny as a science teacher but the movie kinda sucked in terms of plot. I think maybe I just hate M. Night Shymalan for The Village.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Lions “will”…not rule…thats what I get for typing while talking.

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

stuffblackpeoplehate (12:58:39) :

“Quietly, I feel like you were really stretching for a topic today.”

That’s not very quiet at all.

Be advised that I literally have a queue of hate topics that now numbers at 306 – and that doesn’t include my writings about breaking news and current events. I never, EVER stretch for topics. I am just a random and decidedly strange person.

306? How long do we have to wait for the blog on the #1 thing black people hate – black people. 😉

16 06 2008
Landon

man i have stiches in more random places from my child hood.

Best friend slammed a door on my finger. same best friend at my 13th birthday clotheslined me during a basketball game and i landed on my head, more stiches… When i think about my best friend has caused more bodily harm to me than any enemy i ve had… and i ve been in some crazy situations.

16 06 2008
donnie

ooooof! cats suck! and wots worse than cats… catpeople’s homes. it always smells, theres fur on all the dam furniture, and i try my hardest to be polite and sit on the edge of the couch to not have to dust it off, but i draw the line at rhe dam cat trying to rub up against me. ughhh ” no lady, i know it dont bite but i dont like it like and purring on me. so if you don’t want my toe in its flickin eye, please lock it away.

i take special pleasure in throwing water on them though, hehhe im giggling now just thinking about it.

so… The Happening… good… bad? tell me the ending..i dont mind either.

16 06 2008
Muse

Dogs are cute and all but I don’t want to be bothered with the upkeep. I like my house smell nice, I don’t want to worry about random hairs all over my funiture, and most importantly I cannot stand the idea of having to pay medical fees for a FUCKING ANIMAL.

There are way too many people in need to spend so much money on a creature on the bottom of the food chain.

I also get annoyed when I see dogs dressed in cloths.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Donnie, dont get your cyber ass kicked. Nobody BETTER TELL THE ENDING

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Damn Landon..thats not cool…

reminds me off when i was at a YMCA camp when i was 5 or 6 and i was walking to the water fountain and this big head ass boy was running and tripped on some water and hit my head 1st in my mouth knocking out one of my front teeth…luckily that tooth was already loose and then i lost the other one a week later..but i had this big ass gash on my upper gum and it hurt liek shit…luckliy when i landed on the floor i landed on this mat. I swear i was knocked out for a good ass minute. My mom was pissed when she picked me up because no one called her when it happened..She took me out of the camp that same day lol.

Another time when i almost broke my leg and an Orieol’s game… me and my friend were playing on the chairs in the stands and my leg got caught in between and if i pulled my leg any further i would have broken it…

16 06 2008
Esquire

How does one kick a cyber ass? hmmm

ok nevermind. PLEASE do not tell the ending.

16 06 2008
donnie

no ending? ahhhhh KAMAN!!!!!!

16 06 2008
Landon

i never had a tooth knocked out

but i had like three concusion by the time i was in high school

16 06 2008
Merri Lee


Angel30 (17:16:18) :

@ Landon “The other day i saw a white couple with a stroller, i look inside expectign to see a child but long and behold it was a damn english bull dog…. You are suppose to walk a dog, not put them in a stroller. It was one of those high tech strollers with the bike wheels, abs breaks, air bag… i was in total shock.”

I think I would have kicked the stroller over & ran.

How many times have you seen dogs in Snuglis? Why?

16 06 2008
Knatural

No plot spoilers.
Dogs dressed in rain ponchos = cute. Dogs in sweaters and booties = dumb.
Knock on wood, I’ve never had stitches, broken bones, or a cavity…and was just as, if not more, irresponsible as every other child. Jumping on the bed, however, everyone knows that can fuck you up. Most of my childhood accidents involved racing – on foot or bike, or ‘play fighting’.

16 06 2008
donnie

i lost a toenail… like the entire nail…. trying to do a trick on my bike when i was little. it was filled with some wierd pus and purple before i let my auntie look at it. Luckily the nail grew back, because violently pink nail polish doesnt look so good on nubbs

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

dogs in sunglis…wtffff a smart dog wouldnt allow any of that shit…my dog gives me the slant eye when i put that shirt on her when it rains..

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

In case you missed it, black people hate dog owners

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

My dog is lazy as hell and would love being in a Snugli. Whenever we cross the street on his walks he just stops and looks at me like, um…are you gonna pick me up now or what?

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

One time I was playing with a bunch of 2520s in the woods (Why? I don’t know. As I type it now, it sounds like a recipe for disaster) near my house where I grew up. Anyways, they’d just disassembled this monster skateboard ramp. Damn geniuses left pieces of wood with nails in them laying all over the place. A b/c I’m an even bigger genius, I stepped on one of said nails. It went straight through my sneaker, sock, and foot. I had a board nailed to my fucking foot!!! I can’t remember how old I was, but it was damn traumatizing.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ NotBlonde…My dog stops in the middle of the fucking street to sniff shit im like OMG bring yo ass on!!!

16 06 2008
donnie

can i just say that i dont think i like ANY animals. none! all that fur bugs me ok? i am that guest that will jump on ur furniture to get away from the dam sniffing and licking animal.

16 06 2008
Landon

One thing i will say that i hate about Black Dog Owners in my nehigborhood…

at least the white folks curb their dogs… However, i remember one time i was on the upper west side (white neighborhood) this 14-16 year old white girl had this huge talk that decided to take a piss right by a vegitable stand. This Older White lady is like what in the hell are you doing… piss is gettign enar the fruit. The teen looks at her and Says, YOU OLD BITCH you better shut up before i back hand you… minds you she walking with her mom… my JAW DAMN NEAR DROPPED TO THE GROUND. the older lady was like HOW DARE you and looked at the mom as if to say arent you going to say something to your Daughter. The mother told the Older lady not to raise her voice at her daughter… Is that lil girl said that to my mom I think she would of dropped kicked her into the street.

16 06 2008
Knatural

what is/are 2520? Please educate me.

16 06 2008
Landon

meant to say black folks let their dog take a shit and not clean it up!!! i hate that… I am walking down the street and i need shit radar!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i was kinda bad when i was little.. well i was bad outside the house…I remeber when me and my friend would go to the ice cream truck and ask for the ice cream he would give us the ice cream and the candy and we would get my friend’s little sister to throw monoploy money in the truck and we would run lol…oh and when we discovered matches and how to use them.. we were in this slightly wooded area and we lit some matches and dropped them and then one of the fence’s to someones backyard lit on fire and we ran form the scene…came back like hrs later and that whole shit was black lol

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

curb their dogs? is this some kinda pet owner lingo?

16 06 2008
Landon

IN NYC they call it curbing – you guys dont have signs that says please curb your dog? it basically just means PICK UP THEIR SHIT PLEASE!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Y and T are the 25th and 20th letters of the alphabet, respectively

16 06 2008
Nyte

@ Yonnie3k – I am adding that to my vocab just wanted you to know!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yonnie..girl just say yt damn cuz i was lost with Knat on that one hahaha

yea black ppl pick up after your dogs cuz that shit has to end! everyother step in my neighborhood their is a steaming pile of fresh shit..dammiit!!

16 06 2008
donnie

i get it. Y T = whitey hahah clever

16 06 2008
Landon

Damnit we got new Code now just in case the revolution happens…

16 06 2008
Knatural

Thanks. Hell, it took me a minute to get YT.
And what is “jawn”? I’ve seen folks type that as well.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

jawn means joint right

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahh Knat when ppl wrote YT i wa slike wtf is YT..YT..YT.YT omg OHHHHHH whitey duh im slow…

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

Aside – how much does it cost to care for a dog?

16 06 2008
Landon

pssst mrs epps you got some 2520’s on your six there on to you… RUN.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

jawn is a pronoun – like he, she, it, jawn

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I believe jawn’s origins are in Philly…anyone?

16 06 2008
Knatural

Jawn means joint – ohhhhhhh, I’m officially slow. I don’t really speak “slang” in real life so I never know how spell stuff. Yes, I’m Black.
Haha, he’s uncomfortable

16 06 2008
Knatural

Huh, ‘jawn’ is a pronoun?? I’m confused. Speak-a de English!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

As in, “Yeah, I remember them jawns.” = “Yes, I remember those things. Pip Pip. Cheerio.”

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@Landon!!

as for slang..i do use it in my daily convo outside work…like i say words like aint,joint,yun,son, finna along with numerous curse words…and if im real pissed then comes the spanish 🙂

LMAOOOOOOO@ that pic of the panda..poor thing wanna looks like he wants to kill thouse asian ladies for putting him in that chair…animals arent people they cant sit in chairs!!!

16 06 2008
donnie

oooh lawd… im now beginning to understand “american” there’s more shit too?

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol Yonnie..pip pip cherrio…i choked on my cookie cake

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

American? Where are you from donnie?

16 06 2008
Omar

Yeah I thought jawn was ‘philly’ for girl or it, it is like a feminine pronoun. I think people in Philly have their own language.

16 06 2008
Angel30

@ Merri Lee “How many times have you seen dogs in Snuglis? Why?”
They don’t do that crap around here (Memphis). I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen a dog in a stroller either. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw a dog in a Snugli. Probably proceed to tell the lady what a douchebag she is & ask if she lets the damn thing suck on her tit, too.

16 06 2008
donnie

im guyanese – west indian. american is like a whole different flickin language!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Mrs. Epps – Pip Pip Cheerio is Sister T’s from some other post. Its a damn shame that now I’m quoting the SBPH comments section.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Oh, so you’re cooley?

16 06 2008
Esquire

Philly has thier own language?
Damn.

16 06 2008
donnie

ehhhhh no. afro guyanese.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

sorry. is that an insulting question? is that like calling a korean person chinese?

16 06 2008
Knatural

Coolie AHAHAHAHAHAHAH That’s wrong Yonnie!!!!

16 06 2008
Knatural

Philly is another planet.

16 06 2008
donnie

ummm… psh if i wanted to be a cuntbag i could be real technical and ask you why you assumed I was coolie (p.s most coolies dont like the word coolie.. its like their nigger but sum decided to “take back the word and reclaimed its power” ) just cus im guyanese, not all guyanese are coolie u know.etc etc etc…but i dont have the energy today… but it like assuming u white cus u american.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Ive been to philly, but never heard the seperate language. You guys should come to Charleston SC.
THAT is a different language. Seriously. Has anyone ever seen Gullah Gullah Island? No one knows what the hell these people are saying…even when they convert to real english.

Ima box ye in da mowt. = Dear Sir, I am going to accost you in the mouth region and it will hurt.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Wow donnie. You’re a little to sensitive for this comments section. And I didn’t know coolie was like nigger. I’ll be more discriminating with its usage for now on. I grew up around a lot of people that identified themselves that way so I didn’t know.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

What is a coolie?

16 06 2008
Angel30

@Yonnie3K – Yeah, I just looked up that word & found this:
A historical term for manual labourers from Asia, particularly China and India, in the 19th century and early 20th century.
A contemporary racial slur for people of Asian descent, including people from India, Central Asia, etc.[1]
Thanks for enlightening me, Donnie

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Esquire – my dad’s family is from Walterboro, SC. When we used to go there when I was little and he’d introduce me to older relatives – They’d ask me something and I’d have to look at my dad for a translation.

Them: something indiscernable
Me: [pause…looking at my dad
Me: “Oh, I’m 9 years old

repeat

16 06 2008
Landon

the language of the Geechies….

16 06 2008
donnie

hey yonnie…i like u…mostly cus our names rhyme (sp? eh fuck it) but ummm like i said..i dont have to energy today to give a shit. too lazy to care

16 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

And now for something COMPLETELY different!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ Yonnie..yea i think Donnie took that way to harsh…she or he got a bit defensive liek you was seriously calling her a nigger..hhaha i will def use pip pip cherrio now when i want to be a sarcastic asshole i usually am on a reg hahah

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Chris changed the subject? thats a 1st.

16 06 2008
Esquire

lol thats so funny!

People not from here think Im exaggerating until they hear it. I mean…what are you TALKING about???
I can understand people from the Islands and you are from SC and I dont know what the hell you are saying.
There is a guy down here who used to be on the radio. He called himself Geechie Boy. No one knew wtf he was saying.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Gullah language is essentially slave-talk, under water. Sorry.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Can someone enlighten me to the youtube video?
I dont have access at work. Damn clerks got it banned.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAOO why did i watch that video alll the way to the end…OMG

16 06 2008
Esquire

whats in it??? Someone tell me….

dying at work…

16 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

:whats in it??? Someone tell me….”

It is the most insanely idiotic Indian music video I have ever seen. Ever. And I’ve seen most of em.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ppl down south confuse me with their language..when me and my family went for a family reuinon in Gaffeny SC..they would talk like they were a bunch of slaves and then would look at me and my mom strange because we talked like “white folk” they would be like “isa goin back to der mammy house get us dem chickens” im like ummmm you mean “you are going back to your mom’s house to get the rest of the chicken”..and on top of that they mumble like shit..so if i dont understand i’ll just shake my head and nod and smile hahha

16 06 2008
Landon

That sounds like when i go to DR… I just smile because i cant understand their spanish…. And Butter Pecans (are a lil easier because they ryhme when they talk) and the men shape their eye brows, go figure…

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Esquire its just an indian music video english subtitles..and the english made no fucking sense so that made it funny. It would go from ” i like you inside of me” to “did you see the goat” WTFF??? along with the main guy tryna do some michael jackson moves n stuff hahah

16 06 2008
donnie

bahhahahahhahahahhahahahhaha that shit was hilarious! ohhwow new levels of random!

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Damn you Chris!! I can’t even finish the video at work b/c I was laughing too hard.

Esquire, its an Indian music video, but somebody with waaaayyyy too much time on their hands wrote out what they think the word to the song are. The words make absolutely no sense like, “have you been high today…i see the nuns are gay.” And to top it off, the guy in the video looks like an Indian George Michael.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol Landon…well if you know spanish then it would be as hard…even though every culture has a different language…like us puerto ricans have diff words we say in spanish that isnt in a spanish dictionary…Liek my hubby he knows spanish from his ex girlfriend who was Dominican..and he would say words that only dominicans used and i would be all confused.

The smile and nod is the best manuver lol

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL. That is the most ridiculous music video I’ve ever seen. Do they speed the video up to make them look like they are dancing faster?

And I went to Spelman for three days for an orientation type thing. We went to the cafeteria and they had collard greens, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cornbread and all that. The lunch ladies-oh my god. First, they were super slow. Everyone moves slower in the south (perhpas because it’s 900 degrees in the middle of the fucking night). Second, I couldn’t understand a GD thing they said to me. It was like, “Yuh wan sun greeeeeens, hunny?” “Yuh shud rally et sun mo’ greeeeeens hunny, look yuh so small”.

And I’d just smile and get my greens and keep on-meanwhile I’m like, what did this woman just say to me?

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAOOO@ indian George Michael!! hell yea!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

NotBlonde omgggggg i went to the same type of orientation it was “Day in a life as a Spelman student” and they had some bomb ass food but the ladies were slow slow slow…like my grandmother is 100x faster than them..and their lingo was horrible..liek the girl giving us the tour had this heavy southern accent..me and my mom would look at each other and scratch our heads!

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL. The girls I was staying with took us to get ice cream at this all-night place on campus at 12:30am! And we went out in shorts and tank tops because it was still HOT. And the people at the place took forever getting ice cream. I was like, all you do is scoop it and put it in the cone. Why are you taking 15 minutes to do that?

16 06 2008
Landon

btw this and watching tiger in the US open i am doing lil work

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

NotBlonde lol shit thats why when i was living in florida i refused to go to a fast food place that 95% black ppl worked at because they took forever.. i know that sounds bad..not wantitng to go to a place were mostly black ppl worked but shit i dont want to wait in line for 15 mins for a dbl cheeseburger and fries…I would be like “let’s go to the white mickey d’s” lol

16 06 2008
B4Prez

I hate cats

I hate pandas (i guess)

I hate Philly (confirmed)

I hate being at work right now

I hate YT’s/2520’s/ppl with no rhythm/ppl who’s hair floats around the room for no reason (some of ’em r aiiight)

I LOVE dogs…but I hate the ones that sh*t on my sidwalk

16 06 2008
B4Prez

@MrsEpps: I thought every1 did that. I don’t go to the black McDonald’s. The manager is 17, the lady taking your order is 67 (and slightly ‘challenged’), some 22 yr old with 3 kids is always trying to flirt, and they some how manage to forget the cheese, ketchup and burger…on ur cheeseburger!

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

I have so done that too. I was in West Virginia with my sisters and we had to choose between Hardee’s (aka Carl’s Jr) and Chik-fil-A. So we drive around to the window of the Hardee’s and there is a black girl standing there and a line of about 3 cars, all with black people in them. We go around to Chik-fil-A and look inside and there is a white trash-looking person working and about 5 or 6 white people in line along with a few black people. We chose Chik-fil-A.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

B4Prez-@MrsEpps: I thought every1 did that. I don’t go to the black McDonald’s. The manager is 17, the lady taking your order is 67 (and slightly ‘challenged’), some 22 yr old with 3 kids is always trying to flirt, and they some how manage to forget the cheese, ketchup and burger…on ur cheeseburger!

RIGHT..so i dont even attemped the black shit anymore..only for the sweet tea though hahha…but the white McDonald’s always has their shit hot and ready to go…me and my man sat in the drive thrue for 10 mins before even ordering at a Bojangles in PG..we said fuck it and went to the white BK across the street

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

yum chik-fil-a….

16 06 2008
B4Prez

Yea, and I don’t harbor any guilt. I mean, if I knew these were black owned, I’d try to make a complaint to management, and see if that helped so I could keep supporting. But otherwise…I’m gonna pass and go get what I actually ordered.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I just walked past our conference room. About 20 people, including my boss, are in there watching Tiger. And here I was feeling bad for not getting any work done

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

sorry but watching golf is boring as shit to me…**ducks in corner**

16 06 2008
donnie

and i was sitting here wondering when i missed the memo that watchin GOLF was fun…. ughh. give me a law and order marathon anyday!

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yonnie? who are you I need to know, my dad is from walterboro too and if you’re related to me I may have to leave.

16 06 2008
B4Prez

@Yonnie – I just left the kitchen and the same thing is going on here, lol

@MrsEpps – Don’t feel bad. I know that to get my EBP card I’m supposed to all of a sudden stop liking basketball and love golf because Tiger (I’m not black) Woods is doin’ his thing, but I can’t watch it either. So much for me becoming a corporate bigwig in ATL…

16 06 2008
Knatural

Fuck golf!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i would rather watch wack ass Napolen Dynamite all day than watch golf..and i hate that movie with a passion…but i’ll say this i would be Tiger’s caddy hands down and quit my job! it would be a good work out and i’d get paid 900k a yr…

Sport’s I cant stand to watch:

-Golf
-Tennis
-Baseball(espcailly when the basketball season just ended)
-Swimming
-Polo
-Volleyball
and some other’s i cant think of right now

I prob couldnt live without watching Football or Basketball…

16 06 2008
Angel30

Come on ladies, lets not bias people on the South. I’ve lived in MS, AR & TN (Navy brat) among other places & have never heard any real person (other than the buffoons they put on T.V.) speak like Ms. Epps said. I’ve heard the lingo NotBlonde referred to, but GA is on another level with their language. Unless they live in the hills or mountains, southern language is understandable and tolerable. The WORST is the guys who try to be hard & use slang with the, “Yanowatimsayin” (you know what I’m saying?) & the “ya heard me” or “ya feel me.” I must admit, I say fixin’ & ya’ll quite frequently.

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“RIGHT..so i dont even attemped the black shit anymore..only for the sweet tea though hahha…but the white McDonald’s always has their shit hot and ready to go…me and my man sat in the drive thrue for 10 mins before even ordering at a Bojangles in PG..we said fuck it and went to the white BK across the street”

Nah, those of us with a life and things to do go to places where they do sh*t right…hence, you go to the YT place. Messin’ wit black folks, you’ll be 30 minutes getting something that should only take 5 tops…and it’ll STILL be wrong.

Oh, and whoever used “2520”…genius…I’m adding that to the rotation today!

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahah B4Prez yea.. I’m trying to retrive my EBP card too..but I’m slipping up by watching Martin on late night BET and yelling at the tv “GARRNET YOU GOTTA GET THOSE REBOUNDS NIGGA FUCK” or ” WHAT KINDA BULLSHIT CALL WAS THAT REF… FUCKING TIGHT PANT WEARING MOTHER FUCKA”. sigh….

16 06 2008
16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Willnotbetelevised, there is no IF. If your people are from Walterboro, we are related. Its just a matter of how we are related. You know how small Walterboro is. When I’m there, I go to the gas station, they call me by my grandmother’s name. Mind you, my grandmother passed away when I was a year old and lived in Boston at the time, but somehow, these people still know who I am. Are you on the Facebook group?

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Golf is boring as all get out…even WHEN Tiger is in the tourney…I’m a baseball girl myself. When baseball ends, it’s on to football…and I have no love for basketball right now.

16 06 2008
B4Prez

What? Napoleon Dynamite is the best ever!!! That movie is hilarious.

And while I might lose my BLACK card also (I all ready lost my EBP card for denouncing golf’s existence as the best thing since sliced bread), but I like smimming. For one thing, I’m a black who CAN actually swim, but as for watching it, I think I like it simply because it’s a race.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Seriously are you on facebook? ARe you one my brothers in disguise lying to me all this time when you said you weren’t going to be on the comics section? Are you secretly my sister who I didn’t even know, knew about this site? And if so you need to get back to the office and clean some teeth.

I know Walterboro is small and we always ran into some of my dad’s cousin or old classmate whenever we go back for the reunion and hang around the town. And you obviously got geechie folk in your family too and do the smile and nod. You know Susie and Tony?

16 06 2008
Deesigner

OMG Landon Sudden Death!

Why did we get e-divorced?

16 06 2008
puff

haha cheers for making my shitty ass food deprived day at work seem not that bad. pandas *smh and sniggering at the same time*

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angel your right though.. not just the south have funny lingos..TN omg my man’s friend is from TN and we went down there to visit with him and OMG like 1/2 the shit his friends were saying i swear werent even words!!

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Ok i used to say that but I foudn out I can watch swimming, tennis I like (and i’ve started to play. Damn I guess that gets my EBP card back since i hate golf, and i don’t like tiger much either. but i’m terrible and plan on always being terrible, do i have to give it back?) and even soccer sometimes. Volleyball and baseball I love to play. FUCKING hate watching it. its like torture. My dad (from walterboro) took me to some professional games and I swear i gained 5 lbs in one sitting. Its so boring i spent the whole time going to different concessions stands and eating. Debra was out in full force

Damnit Yonnie, you right, we are related. Although I never heard of a family branch in boston, even on a visit. So mebbe you just some distant cousin. I got plennyadoes.

Damnit i swore this morning I wasn’t going to be on here during work. Fuck ya’ll. shit. Its my last week and i was going to do some work for real. Since I’m here Knat? how do we keep stop being friends? I swear every 5 minutes you like we friends again. Is that your ass i keep giving the stank eye on the train for not moving yo shit?

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angel LMAOOO what the hell did he say.. i was tryna read his lips foreal hahahah

16 06 2008
Knatural

Wait. Napolean Dynamite is a fine example of cinema. And Tennis and swimming are great to watch. Another difficult-to-watch sport: curling. What the hell is this? Scottish sports suck, what’s wrong with those fools?

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i like mini-gold does that count?

umm B4Prez you like that movie..ew..

16 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Swimming rocks…and since my hair is natural, I don’t worry about it getting screwed up and whatnot if I go…

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I have never in my life met so many people rooting AGAINST Tiger Woods. Perhaps this is b/c I don’t discuss golf with a lot of 2520s. Is this common, or is it just the people in my office?

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

I thought curling was canadian. I was mesmerized by the lack of any point to that sport during the olympics. It will still mesemerize right into unconsciousness. No sport is worth an Olympic medal if you can win with a nine year old and a 69 year old on your team.
Damn those scots. wait i’m part scottish. well aren’t the scots’ greatest enemy the scots?

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

for the record i love swimming wether it be in a pool or ocean…LOVE IT!! and i get my hair wet everytime too 🙂

I rather play tennis than watch it..I use to play tennis with my mom.

I am a well rounded athelet! Soccer, Tennis, Basketball, Softball,Baseball, football, swimming, gymnastic..i’ve done it all

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

WNBT – LOL – I tell myself EVERYDAY that I’m just going to read the post and leave the comments section alone. I guess that’s kind of like an alcoholic trying to be a social drinker.

Anyways, I’m on the FB group and I’ve identified myself on the wall or the message board or something. I’m mad you gave me first names – do I know Susie or Tony? Friend me and we’ll chat.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

Oh yeah!

BWAO CHICKA WAOW WAAAOAOOAOAOW!

Panda Love!

16 06 2008
donnie

wait… there’s a facebook group? can I join?

16 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Chris i like that Indian video. serious shit. i wish i was back overseas right now. i love experiencing foreign cultures. don’t wanna stay just visit. i’m Catain Kirk with foreign women. nice with locals too but……

Esquire, yeah that Carolina geechy talk is some unique shit. that’s all i have to say about that.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Angry *sigh* please stop posting animal porn! It’s disturbing and too hilarious for me to properly enjoy from work. Stop.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ Angry…hmm i expected that from Shabooty but not you!! Shame on you!

16 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Yonnie, Tiger haters are on that Fuzzy Zoeller shit.

16 06 2008
Deesigner

Yonnie, they’re still mad about Obama, so they cannot support any black celebrity for anything until after the election.

I bet that they are about to make Rocco a celebrity for ALMOST beating Tiger.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Only thing wrong with Toger is him basiclly dis-owning his blackness..yes your mom is asian but your daddy is black and you like chicken and white women…

16 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Pretty Pices Girl baseball is the slowest, most boring sport there is. there’s a pre-req to chew snuff and spit. the game lasts too long. it’s no longer Americas favorite pastime and you can play until you get 86. the players are out of shape and have panda bear guts. WTF! wackness.

16 06 2008
Bailey Blues

@ Yonnie – No, 2520s everywhere are pissed as shit Tiger just took it again. Visit my office.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

What? Who’s talking about Tigers?

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

I assumed all 2520s hate tiger. They always want someone else to win. Everyone i’ve heard say its because Tiger wins too much(yea right). Which is the only reason I can’t hate tiger too. if he were more like a real tiger and mauled somebodys face off in vegas, i would like him more.

I’m surprised Angry has so much animal porn. Being as they don’t have proper boobs.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

I’m mad that tiger is licking his lips, like mmm this is some good snatch. yummy

16 06 2008
shabooty

@ Mrs.Epps

I’m no degenerate. but i did jack off to angelia jolie’s voice in kung fu panda.

16 06 2008
MClub

Hahaha…hilarious mayn.
Get this one…a chair made of pandas…might help

don’t know why hatin NPR though…that is my fav station. Actually the only electronic media that i can mention as journalists. At least not all their news are revolving only in U.S and the election…and that is where i get my daily dose of international news. 🙂

16 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Mrs. Epps it does like Tiger does not connect with his blackness fully, at least not in an open and outward way. It’s like its brushed under the rug by him. well don’t worry, people like Fuzzy Zoeller are quick to let him know he’s black. unfortunate he doesn’t seem to embrace it quite like Obama. once again these YT’s will be sure to remind him every now and again.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Donnie, yes there’s a FB group and anyone black and angry can join. Although there is an Asian kid on there too. Just search for stuff black people hate

16 06 2008
B4Prez

lol@ Tiger being black cus he ‘likes chicken and white women’

lol@ jerkin off to Angelina Jolie’s voice in Kung Fu Panda

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

dammit i knew Shabooty..would make is big entrance hahahah

ok what is it about Angelina Jolie that men and women want…i dodnt get it.. i think is very attractive but not enough to make me convert to lesbianism(?)

she has nice lips and eyes but she’s fucking boney and pale..Booo fuck all that

they call her exotic..how can someone be exotic who is pale white???? anyone care to explain?

regular ass white woman to me…

16 06 2008
Omar

Anyone ever notice they online pull that “he ain’t black he biracial” stuff with successful people, ignoring the fact that most of us were mixed at some point.

I bet if a brown skin guy with a white mother and a black father robbed a bank they wouldn’t call him anything but a “black thief” and they would put his black ass in jail.

16 06 2008
Esquire

Esquire, yeah that Carolina geechy talk is some unique shit. that’s all i have to say about that.

Smart move. The Geechies are like the damn mafia. They see/hear you talking about them and they just pop out of nowhere. Anyone who has gone to USC (the real one) knows this.

Im scared.

16 06 2008
Angry IV

Omar – you are correct sir.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Thank you Mrs. Epps. Angelina Jolie is sooooo boney. She has Noassatall.

16 06 2008
donnie

yay! i found the facebook group! now i get to stay in my pjs even longer. *sign*

16 06 2008
B4Prez

@Omar – EXACTLTY

@MrsEpps – Angie Jo is pale and bony as all hell, but she looks damn good! I’m not a YT chaser either, but I gotta ride with her. But Jada Pinkett is my real luv.

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I already said what I liked about Angelina back whenever we were talking about Marriage (engagements?). In terms of her looks – she aiiigght, but she should really invest in some Carmex.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

right Knat..she has two backs…all that she has going for her is adopting one child from every continent and country in the world..and making her own babies, has a sexy ass husband”baby-daddy”, nice full lips beautiful blue eyes.

but atleast her daughter Zahara(the ethiopian baby) hair dont be looking all crazy like most black babies with white moms do hahaha

thats Alicia Keys on Bills lap believe it or not

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL Yonnie. Angelina Jolie has a beautiful face but as she’s getting older its getting more and more gaunt and I hate to think what she’ll look like when she’s an old lady. Probably like a literal skeleton…yuck.

16 06 2008
Sue

@Angelo

OMG! I am totally through! Dude hasn’t even seen a lawyer and he’s spilling his guts! *smh*

Why did I understand EVERYTHING he said??? *double smh*
Damn my Floridian roots!

16 06 2008
Knatural

I heard Brad Pitt say they use Carol’s Daughter products (my favorite) on the Ethi baby’s hair. Go Brad!

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Wow…who’d have thought that Brad Pitt would know what to do with a little negro girl’s hair? I wonder who he asked…

16 06 2008
Yonnie3k

knat – do you like Carol’s Daughter better than Miss Jessie’s Cream?

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Dang, I know black women are probably gonna ride on me for this but I think AJ is an average looking white girl. I don’t get it either. I have a friend who will yell at me all day that for a white woman she’s the shit (female straight friend, gives her respect). And I always though her lips were crusty. Yea they full but they don’t got no shape. Its like how people give black people with light eyes credit for having pretty eyes just cuz they’re light. They don’t care if they actually have a nice color or shape, they’re just ‘green’

Ok yonnie we are definitely related, I wish they would throw in some chapstick with all those babies. And i have seen Zahara’s head look a mess. Just not all the time and no time was it as bad as most black children with white moms

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

omg really Knat.. I love that stuff!

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

I can’t use Carol’s Daughter stuff 😦 It makes my hair oily as fuck and drags it down but my sisters and my mom use it and it’s excellent for dry hair.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Never tried Miss Jessie, I heard it’s kind of greasy. Carol’s Daughter has such a wide variety of products…I’m addicted to the hair milk and my hair has never been healthier. Hair milk and Nature’s Blessing – I’m set. Brad probably asked Don Cheadle or Robin Givens what to do, since they used to date. Angelina Jolie’s lips do always look crusty/chapped. She has fish lips.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Brad said he asked Jada. You know shes pushing the carols daughter all the time. I can’t get into them. HOwever I’m pissed tiki and koko or whoever those 2 money hungry chicks who make ms. Jessies. Its the only thing that really works on my hair (buttercream) and its like hair crack. So damn expensive. Luckily I usually by after Xmas when they have that 2 for 1 sale and it lasts almost the whole year. But the prices!!!!!! and they went up by like 10$
I hate them. But I need them.

16 06 2008
Omar

I hate to say it but I am rarely impressed by a white womans lips or booty for that matter because “big” for them is like average for black and hispanic women.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yes, I tried some of carols products and they made my hair greasy too. In fact thats why I use the ms. jessies buttercream because its the least greasy stuff I’ve ever found that will actually moisturize my hair.

sucks. but my friend put me onto them years ago b.c. the specialize in natural “mixed girl” texture hair. I hate that term but i guess thats kinda what i got on my head.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

I can’t use any type of “mixed girl” or black girl products on my hair because my hair is oily naturally and all it does is make my hair super-greasy and flat. I can’t use that Pantene Pro-V “for black people” product and I can’t put anything on my hair that says “cream”, “butter”, “salve” or whatever.

Plus I can’t stand that sweet almond scent that black people products seem to always have.

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

I like Miss Jessie’s as well, but my hair is super dry which is why it’s not greasy on me. If your hair is greasy stick to Carol’s Daughter

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

I also have to turn in my black card for hating the scent of cocoa butter. Hate it hate it hate it. I don’t hate that sweet almond scent of black products, but i don’t particularly like it either. I don’t believe that ‘black’ pantene does shit. I tried it and all my friend did and it wasn’t no better than regular pantene, which wasn’t good as a black shampoo for my hair. Did that work for anyone?

16 06 2008

why did I have to hold my mouth while reading this. I was laughing sooooo hard… Good one Chris

16 06 2008
Merri Lee

Tiger Woods beyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaach!

16 06 2008

I HATE the smell of african pride!

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

My hair is super dry but i found all the carols daughters products i tried (esp. the hair milk) just sat on my head and made my dry hair greasy and dry. Since i know now hair can be greasy and dry (brittle too) I wonder if I have more naturally oily hair thats still dry? Can that happen? B.c. I’ve always had problems with many black hair care products because they are too greasy for my hair, and i need something with the least amount of oil/vaseline/sheenshine possible. I had to move onto only using vitapointe or keracare to grease my scalp.

16 06 2008
shabooty

someone create: stuffwhitepeoplewhoadoptblackbabieshate.com

🙂
gimmie half the profits though plz.
implied trademark :]

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

willnotbetelevised: have you ever used just regular shampoo and conditioner that isn’t specially formulated for black hair? I think whats happening is your scalp is greasy but your hair is dry (like mine). I use Pantene shampoo and this John Frieda for brunettes conditioner that is ultra moisturizing but I just put it on my ends and in the length of my hair. Are you sure you even need to grease your scalp?

16 06 2008

I love the indian video I keep playing it over and over….. lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

” I love you insiiiide meeee” lmaoooooo @ benny lava!!!!!!!!!!

The choregraphy is BANANA’S LMAOOOOOOOO

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yea, i have tried damn near every shampoo known to man. The best for me is actually cream of nature. Yea I do need to grease my scalp but only once weekly after i wash it. Otherwise I get dandruff. But even if I don’t moisturize the ends of my hair by the end of the week I can’t wear my hair in an afro bc it falls over and looks weird (my hair is really long). But I do need to moisturize the ends with something (damn expensive ass buttercream) b.c. otherwise my hair breaks off like terrible. I’ve grown like 4 inches using the buttercream. This was all a learning process for me. My mom had to learn about her own hair b.c. it was ‘nappier’ than her mothers and mine was ‘nappier’ than my own mothers. But none of us have truly ‘nappy’ hair. My mom doesn’t have to put on daily moisturizer b.c. the weekly will do her. Lucky wench

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

btw it falls over b.c. I keep brushing out the oil from my roots to the tips and it gets moisturized naturally. But those first couple of days after shampooing my hair is really really dry. I’m looking for a better conditioner so my hair doesn’t end up so dry after shampooing. That’s why I stay away from non-black shampoos too because they dry my hair out even more than black shampoos. I guess my problem now is just good conditioner.

BTW miss jessie has a deep conditioner that is damn near magical. I put that on my hair dry (and curlycued) and 1 it damn near straightend my hair out and 2 was the only time i got out of the shower without my hair feeling dry and needing to moisturize immediately. But its a deep conditioner and i don’t want to do that every week.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

my hair is weird too…it stays dry at the scalp because it gets all itch n shit..the ends stay dry as hell to and to top it off its thick and long…but if you feel my hair it doesnt feel dry… then its way thicker near the roots than the length… i need to start a new routine or something…i havent had my hair relaxed in months so my hair is pretty much all natrual…i’ll flat iron it if i want it to be straight but if i dont its one big ol bush lol

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Mrs Epps: my older sister’s hair is super thick and long as well. She gets her hair relaxed and its pretty much the only way it looks right-our hair is sorta “mixed people” hair. Like it won’t fro properly but it won’t lay down either. It’s like if you took an afro and then flat ironed it and then stood out in the humidity for awhile and let it frizz up a tad. That is my natural hair.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Oh and Head and Shoulders works wonders for a dry scalp, especially their moisturizing shampoo.

16 06 2008
Landon

What it is What it Is people?
\

16 06 2008
Landon

damn no one is here no more : (

i had a music question… trying to get my music game back on point was going to ask for some suggestions.

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

yea NotBlonde you just described my hair right there…smh…its not for-ish but it aint straight enough to walk out the house and look desent with…man head and shoulders worked good for me because i get danderuff like that shit is in season. I try not to pick up a relaxer when i go to the store or when i go to get my hair done…I’m tryna keep it natrual and away from all that chemical…I’ve been doing good so far until my flat iron died on me last week..my hair has been nothing but in a high bun or braided up or all crazy when im at home…but i could use a nice oil for my scalp hot oil treatment something hahaha

16 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol Landon…whats your question…call me now for your free tarot reaDing(ms. cleo voice) hahahahhah

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Wait didn’t you go home landon, I believe its past your bedtime. Its sad, I’m still at work at this time and I always leave this site alone b.c. I know everyone starts commuting and going home about now. Damn this is a sickness. I gotta get a new job where I wont be near a computer.

I hate the smell of head and shoulders and selsenblue, I don’t mind greasing my scalp. My brothers get dandruff badly too so it runs in the family. I have weird hair but since the butter cream i don’t have any split ends anymore, that makes me happy. My hair texture is if I comb it I get exactly angela davis style ‘fro. no blowing out or whatever it is that people always ask me if i’ve done. No combing and my hair is in happy little springs if I leave regular conditioner in it. Natural strawset style. My dad didn’t even believe me when i told him I didn’t do anything for it to look like that (he hates that style). Its odd stuff but if anyone can reccommend a decent conditioner thats reasonable price let me know.

16 06 2008
Landon

need to ahem download some music
looking fo suggestions’

16 06 2008
Knatural

Willnotbetelevised – do you use leave-in conditioners, they work wonders. Best leave-in conditioner: Carol’s Daughter Khoret Amen for normal to dry hair. And I heard Miss Jessie’s is super-addictive, but it’s a lil expensive for moi. $50 right?
My hair is super thick (kinky, nappy, whatever you wanna call it) and shoulder-length, I rarely comb it. Most obnoxiously huge ‘fro when blown out. Best shampoo: castile soaps. They’re all natural, no animal fat, mostly olive oil, don’t strip your hair/scalp, and leave it so clean and fresh. I use it on my skin, too. Dr. Bonner’s is the best brand. I only wash my hair every 10 – 14 days. Do not use “non-Black” shampoos. They are not made for Us.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

landon you got XM? access to XM online? They gotta couple good stations and shows with the new stuff allada time. what kind of music do you want? I haven’t listened to the radio in months, i’ve been on my smooth music/caribbean music kick for a while

16 06 2008
Knatural

Oh, this may sound weird, but don’t use shampoo every time you wash your hair. Just do a long rinse; my hair improved WONDERS from this, probably because shampoo strips hair of it’s natural moisture.

16 06 2008
Landon

i woudl rather you suggest so i dont dictate what you feel is good music… if something interests me… i ll check it out…

like i heard that NERD album is hot

16 06 2008
Angel30

Angry IV, you have SERIOUS issues. LMAOOOO

16 06 2008
Landon

i am open minded

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

havent’ found a leave in conditioner that works for me yet. Ms. Jessie (whom i cannot curse as much as i want to) has risen from $50 to $60 for a jar of buttercream. And they don’t have a leave in conditioner. I’m still suspicous of Carol’s Daughter because I think it works better with people who have hair more like yours than mine (btw i’m extremely jealous of your hair now, esp if its midnight black, i always thought i would look awesome with thicker/kinkier hair and jet black, same length or longer- the natural/chunky fro looks better and double strand twists stay better) but my neighbor sells it for less than you get over at their store on 125th so mebbe I’ll try it.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

yea, actually a friend of mine told me to “wash” my hair with just conditioner. But i’ll tell you the truth, my hair probablyl should be washed every week but i go about 10-14 days too, and its actually dirty by then so i actually have to use the shampoo. But I should start getting more regular and then i’m going to try the 1 week shampoo and 1 week conditioner washing routine. See if I can’t get my hair a couple more inches past my shoulder.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

or do you listen to pandora. I would reccommend something but all my music is at home on the lappy and i just took home my need to dL list this weekend. And obviously my brains not working. All I remember is thinking I need to redL sounds of blackness since they disappeared off my laptop when i needed inspiration this weekend and I want to get more Carimi who is a haitian artist I like

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

And my brother keeps telling me to get Wale’s new stuff. Have you heard of NY Oil? I don’t think he has a new albulm out but HOODtreason was great. I heard good things about NERD too.

16 06 2008
Landon

ok cool

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Mrs Epps: I can’t help but get my hair relaxed. I used to get it done by this one woman but she has since passed on and I got a new woman who does wonders for my hair. She recently cut it about ear-length and it looks great. I would really suggest going to a professional black stylist (do not have a white woman do your relaxer….ever) and get it relaxed. It’s far easier to deal with as it seems your hair is about the same as mine.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

but since NY Oil is a small artist I would ask that you actually purchase his stuff. http://youtube.com/watch?v=diKUyMNgj_s just saw they had it animated now.

16 06 2008
Knatural

My hair is indeed midnight black! Never dyed it. Even when I had a perm. Hate me. Hate me please. Double-strands and cornrows last forever with me. I love cornrow/double strand combo styles, they’re most versatile. Aveda products are good, too.

Landon – try Flying Lotus, N.E.R.D.’s new one “Seeing Sounds”, M.I.A. you may like. I don’t know your taste.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

willnotbetelevised: woman I don’t know why you want long hair. i understand that black guys have a thing for it but since i’ve cut my hair it’s been sooo much easier to wash and deal with then having hair past my shoulders (as soon as that happened I was like, this takes way too long to get together).

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Why do all the good products gotta be so damn expensive. I am hating on you then damn. I saw 5 year old girl in harlem the other day with gorgeous thick(nappy) dark black hair and was jealous of her too. I stopped putting double strand twists in my hair b.c. the thick ones look sloppy after 1 day b.c. the parts don’t stay tight (and I don’t want to break out the overhead dryer all afternoon to make them stay when i know i’m just going to untwist them in a couple days) and the thin ones look nice when I do the but then they curl up on themselves. I jsut want them to stay straight down like when i twisted them. Me and my hair fight but I pretty much like it and and love my ‘fro. Its getting too long now to wear straight out though. i suppose i should cut my hair but i get so attached that even a little trim makes me mourn for 2 days.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Really? I had the same hair for about 10 years…always got little trims and then grew it out. One woman said my hair would look cute short and I was like, no way, I’m not cutting my hair and used to freak out about it. Then when i finally did get it cute, it wasn’t a big deal. It was like, hmm…so this is how I look with short hair.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

well it only goes past my shoulders if I pull it down. And you are lucky notblonde b.c. you have a face for short hair. My hair looks best pulled back and away from my face or in a long style b.c. i have a lot of round features (chubby cheeks with dimples, big round eyes, button nose, i look like a overgrown toddler some days) and when my hair looks short-i can get the shirley temple ringlets and a short looking fro with no cutting- i look terrible. it just emphasizes my moonlike features even though I technically have an oval shaped face. My daddy has a perfect circle of a face and i have his features. And when you are working on getting rid of a round belly you don’t want any more attention drawn to how circular you tend to be. I even wear my afro puffs pulled back and not straight to the side of my head. Plus I like being able to pull my hair back and change it up. I get ADD with my hairstyles

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

*finally got it cut, it looks real cute though 😛

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yea, I’ve experimented in the mirror with short hair since I wanted to get locs. just a bad look for me.

16 06 2008
Knatural

HAHAHA I use to fight my hair, but it kept winning, so I said fuck it and just let it be. Then it started to grow so strong, thick, and long. How long have you been natural WNBT (your name is too long)?
I started going natural in spring 2004, cut it to about 1/8 inch the following spring and now only get trims twice a year.

16 06 2008
Knatural

All pretty girls have a face for short hair. Full stop.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

My hair ADD is also what kept me from getting locs or cutting my hair short. Its like having moles on your cheeks. When you have high cheekbones and an angular face it looks really cute sitting on top of your cheeks. When you have a round face/regular cheekbones/undefined jawline they just look a mess. Sigh, they run in my family too, both sides. My sister looks cute with them but my mom, not so much. I have high cheekbones but undefined jaw. And i’m afraid if my jaw got more defined it would be kinda squarish instead of angular. And yes, I also get freaked out when I see a new spot on my body thinking i’m going to get moles. But hey, everyone’s a little crazy

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL. I am soooo ADD with my hair. That’s why i cut it. and now I’ve got it so I can make it look real 60s. or I can put it in Short curls (which makes me look really young) or make it wavy, do bangs or do a middle part-i can even spike up the back and have the sides long past my ears.

I know what you mean though about having a round face. My sisters call me tomato head because i’ve got fat cheeks with dimples, fairly small eyes and a generous mouth. I used to always wear my hair back so I thought, why have all this hair if I never do anything with it?

Oh and keep on with your quest to lose the round belly-I’ve been trying to lose my boobs for ages and nothing ever works. You can’t target the damn chest area and when I used to try it just made them look bigger because my chest muscles stuck out more. *sigh*

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

haha, i went natural out of laziness. I permed the fuck out of my hair senior year cuz my parents harassed me about senior pictures (they have never been happy with my hairstyles whether natural or relaxed, finally learned to stop taking their opinons) and it was coming out. SO I wore braids all summer in hopes it would heal. Then I went away to college and was too lazy to find a good salon so I just put braids back in it for nearly the next year. 2000 natural and not going back.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Oh my goodness, my hairdresser suggested that super short Halle Berry cut with me too…but I’ve got a five-head, so no thanks. I’ll take a picture with my new hair so y’all can get a look.

And Knat…I believe that was a compliment back there “All pretty girls have a face for short hair. Full stop”, thank you 🙂

16 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tomato Head! Change your screen immejiately.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

I think I will officially change my sn, per Knat, to TomatoHead

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yea, i’ll reevaluate when I lose some of this baby fat. I know there’s some people out there who have a fetish or some sort of desire but it always makes me feel bad when some random person says they want to pinch my cheeks (if they actually pinch my cheeks like I’m 3 I’m LIVID) or that i have baby fat or i look like a baby etc etc. Or like those dudes on the corner who like to tell you how thick your fucking legs are. bastards. Or in the caribbean where I actually get called out hey big girl. I’m not that damn big damnit. When i think big girl i think euphemism for monique-sized mistresses. I’m not even pleasantly plump damnit .so i dont want short hair now because Debra looks good in short hair. ANd I want that hefty bitch to be an inner fat girl not an outer one.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

i think i will definitely refer to you now as tomatohead. And theres more options if you relax your hair and wear it short. I have a couple friends who just went natural through the cut it all off method and she got sick of the number of styles she could do at that lenght. So now shes got a terrible weave until it grows out some more so she can play with it. But i hear a shower with short hair is marvelous.

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

HAHAHHAHAAHAHAH; Bethany has been having a field day as of late. She would look really cute with short hair as well and i think she’s trying to sabotage me into becoming an outer fat girl…

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

one of them, the other doesnt have hair ADD. And some of us have hair that grows slooooowly. And slow growth plus hair ADD means you get attached to hair. I mean its been there so long. It was putting out such an effort to get this length. Its uncaring to just let it go like it wasn’t working hard for you. 🙂

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Landon, hows the musicquest going? Did you look up some pandora reccommendations?

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

Oh my gosh., showering with short hair is marvelous. I don’t have to pull my hair up and away to get behind my neck or ears and it feels so nice to just comb my hair back with my fingers and rub shampoo into it without using a wide-toothed comb.

16 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

actually i told myself i was going to call landon nappypeen from now on after his non-grooming answer last week. I’m going to try to remember that. Tomatohead-notblonde, nappypeen-landon

16 06 2008
NotBlonde

And the first time I washed it, it tried to grab the ends of my hair like i normally do and there was no hair there and instead of freaking out i was like, hallelujah!

16 06 2008
TomatoHead

Lol. I will save you the trouble of remembering and just change my name, as it is infinitely funnier than notblonde.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Awwww, WNBT were you a fat kid? I was between ages 9 and 11. My nickname was Meatloaf (don’t laugh). We all have something “odd” about our faces/bodies, except me, I’m perfect.

16 06 2008
Knatural

Bertha is about to get Chinese food; all this talk of panda jerks has sparked Bertha’s love of Asian cuisine.

16 06 2008
TomatoHead

Wow….Knat….Meatloaf? I am sooo calling you that now. You know what’s odd about me (other than the fivehead)…I have a very tiny tush. I’m one of those black women without a big ass…I feel so…ew.

16 06 2008
TomatoHead

Bethany is taking a trip to Panda Express innaminute.

16 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAAH@TomatoHead! Yay! Don’t worry – donkeys are overrated. My ass is small, moderately plump, and manageable. I envision donkeys as difficult to fit and kinda sweaty. I’ll pass. Be happy with your tush, because as it gets older, it may widen. Besides, you have those 32Fs to contend with.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

YEs damnit, if i didn’t know we already look nothing alike tomatohead i would swear were were also related. I have a nearly debilitatind disease called n’assatall too. And that pisses me off b.c. i feel as a black woman that is one of the few things in life where we don’t get a the shitty end of the stick but i missed it. I think the non-black jeans could’ve gone somewhere unnoticeable, like a kidney or something. I don’t care if i got white people liver, i just want black people booty.

Fat kid???? Nah sis I was a big girl. My brother’s three years older than me and they always thought we were twins. And i’ve always had baby fat, but i was never the fattest kid in class or rolypoly. Plus i was damn near the tallest so who was gonna fuck with me anyway. Think of that chic who was the bully in school because she was big-almost fat and tall. Thats exactly who i was. But lucky i was nice and not the bully at all. although a friend of mines mother tried to tell my teacher i was a bully cuz that girl kept getting hurt playing around with me. Not my fault she was teenytiny and fragile. I wasn’t hitting her.

But you sussed out my secret. I’ve always been almost fat and probably always will. I hate to think that I may be what sir furious calls 1 chicken bucket away from irrevocable fatness. So to tie all back together, i will probably never have short hair. I told you Debra was strong as hell. Debra would’ve been the school bully, stealing everybodys cookies and shit.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yea, honestly you cant have it all tomatohead. I figured God gave me a nice set of Ds and gorgeous legs to make up for the flatassedness. And I don’t mean small booty, i mean Flat pancake ass. I never have a problem finding jeans.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

non-black genes… damnit

sweaty ass?????? ew. Though i likes a man with a some good booty. Gotta pass something on to the crotchfruit.

17 06 2008
Knatural

I used to hate my ass (or lack thereof): I was a size 2 for the longest and had little to no ass. I was sick of it because of the Black Girl Ass myth. So I started deliberately gaining weight and “working out” AHAHAHAHA. Anyway, the cheeks swelled and so did other regions (thighs, waist) and now I’m holding at a size 6-8, petite. Building muscle helps, but fat helps too. My ass is just right now. Yay! Go ass!

17 06 2008
NotBlonde

Hmmm…I must work out my ass then. My now ex-boyfriend thinks that if I just work out more, my ass will look bigger in comparison to the rest of me…interesting theory

17 06 2008
TomatoHead

Oops, just got home and now posting from there

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

see i can build muscle pretty easy and i was scared of getting the muscle butt. is that attractive? also a bike cop told me his but swole up when he started all this biking. My current infatuation wants to go biking together so mebbe i’ll get a booty over the summer. you never know. *

*actually you do since neither of us actually have bikes.

17 06 2008
Angel30

willnotbetelevised – Motions has a good leave in conditioner. Really helps with detangling. I really love their shampoo, too. I use Nioxin as a rinse-out conditioner

17 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

damn ya’ll all that hair talk made me go oil my scalp hahhaa…it feels much better now..but yea my hair always wins…i cut it because it was getting on my damn nerves…now if i straighten it its past my shoulder alittle bit and if i dont its at the shoulders…it kills me though when i go to work and have my hair curled up my female co-workers(white) say omg did you cut your hair!

ok im outty gonna eat my ribs toodlez

17 06 2008
Angry IV

My fiancee decided she’s wearing her hair natural all week this week…naturally she has beautiful wavy/curly hair, and I’m psyched she decided to. She also wears it straight too, and I love it either way, but the curls just look so sexy on her!

17 06 2008
Chelle

In truth, the pandas are a diplomatic tool for the Chinese government which makes them that much more problematic. I heard their birth was planned for the start of the Olympics. It’s all propaganda, distraction, mind control shit to get folks to not pay attention to the Chinese human rights violations, like the Olympic games themselves.

17 06 2008
The Doc Is In

WNBT, Cycling is GREAT for the booty (and LEGS). I never had a ridiculous donkey, but it’s definitely a nice size for my proportions and when I really started into my exercise routine like gangbusters, I was worried I’d lose it. But nah, between spinning, squats, leg lifts…stuff that strengthens your glutes…it’ll sit up right nicely!

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

oog i hate that too. Anytime I wear my hair curlycued its about half the length, due to the mothafuckin curlz. I’m so sick of 2520s asking if i cut my hair almost as much as i’m sick of them asking if they can touch my ‘fro. NO!

Awww Angry is great. I always like to meet black men who can appreciate the natural. I’m trying to get you guys to outweigh the others.

17 06 2008
TomatoHead

Or at least try to outweigh the dumbasses who think a weave is a woman’s actual hair. I can almost understand if a woman has a really good one, but guys are talking all the time about how beautiful Beyonce’s hair is in a particular picture and i’m like, nigga don’t you know thats a wig?

17 06 2008
Muse

Chris is going to beat your asses for turning the comments section into a convo abut hair LOL.

17 06 2008
Nice

Alot of people say that men prefer straight hair. I seem to always get more attention when I rock mine natural. I think it depends on how its styled and groomed. I know many men who love when women rock their hair natural.

17 06 2008
Nice

TomatoHead, I recently had to come to grips with the fact that many, many men do not know the difference from real hair and weave. They can’t even grasp the concept that some women wear tracks the same length as their hair to give it a fuller look.

17 06 2008
Muse

From my experience, I get more attention from men of all races when my hair is straight than when I wear it curly, natural, or in a ponytail. something about long straight hair on a Black girl does thangs to folks.

17 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

oog i hate that too. Anytime I wear my hair curlycued its about half the length, due to the mothafuckin curlz. I’m so sick of 2520s asking if i cut my hair almost as much as i’m sick of them asking if they can touch my ‘fro. NO!

hell yea…like everyone on my job thinks that every blacl woman wears weave..BITCH I DONT WEAR WEAVE this is all my shit dont get it twisted…but yea anywho ahem…my man loves my hair regardless what it looks like wether it be straight, wavy, curly, bushy, wet, in pony tails.. he doesnt care..but sometimes i hate him sometimes because he has this nice ass curly hair that he doesnt have to do shit to but, wash, oil brush.and he really doesnt have to brush it either…got that 1/2 white ppl hair or something hahaha but tis cute though..and i hate it when he cuts all his curls off cuz he just looks liek he has a big ass head hahah

17 06 2008
Nice

YT men go CRAZY when they see me rock a fro- what is that all about? Tru, Black men do tend to prefer the straight look, but the natural still works for me with the brothas for some reason.

17 06 2008
TomatoHead

YT men loooove fros. They love them. I suspect it’s because that look is so incredibly different from white women’s hair-so much so that white women can’t even do it. My older sister’s boyfriend loves it when she doesn’t get her hair done for awhile because he loves it “poofy” (he’s white…naturally).

17 06 2008
letinstar

my two year old nephew has some butt ugly panda toy from somewhere…when you pull the panda’s arm, it says stupid things…my nephew threw in a corner…after i pulled the panda’s arm, i wanted to throw it in a corner too…

17 06 2008
Nice

LOL. When I was in HS, all the YT kids used to be like “how do you get ur hair to do that”. I would be like. “I like wash it”. I have what I like to call coarse -curly hair. I can do practically anything with it. I love it. Ok, I’m done with the hair talk- this is suppose to be all about the panda.

17 06 2008
Nice

But I have absolutely nothin to say about pandas.

17 06 2008
AC

I’m all late to this post but this was (as usual) absolutely freakin hilarious!

And leave the Pandas alone!

They’re utterly adorable 😉 lol

17 06 2008
A.K.

why is a furry panda adorable but a funny guy not?

17 06 2008
Nice

Why A.K.?

17 06 2008
SANDY

have you ever tried an aloe vera gel and glycerin mixture…. then seal with some type of light oil. Jojoba oil. I LOVE jojoba oil. lhcf has tons of tips on this kind of stuff.

17 06 2008
london

i hate you for this post…
even though it made me laugh..
wtf.. pandas… why? what was he process of thought here.. actually – please do not enlighten me.. you may frighten me..
they are not in my sphere of thought regularly like say spiders..
but today they will be.. them and koalas and sheep.. and cows…
i love goats though… they don’t take shit… goats are badass..

17 06 2008
Angry IV

“Or at least try to outweigh the dumbasses who think a weave is a woman’s actual hair. I can almost understand if a woman has a really good one, but guys are talking all the time about how beautiful Beyonce’s hair is in a particular picture and i’m like, nigga don’t you know thats a wig?”

Sewn in really good, but still a bad weave. I hate weave.

And my fiancee’s hair isn’t the natural frizz-fest that you normally see…it lays down and everything, but it’s curly. She’s 1/2 white, so I guess the mixture served her well.

17 06 2008
JaBe

The white majority of the bear – the head, stomach, and back – is resting peacefully. But what are the black parts doing? That’s right, the black arms and legs are doing all the work keeping the bear in place. What are the black ears and eyes doing? Listening and looking for threats in the form of other Pandas. Despite the fact that the blacks are doing all the slave labor…where does all the delicious Panda fat go? Right to the white belly. Fuck you, Panda.

hahahahahahahaha you have entirely too much time on your hands. Funny post.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

All goats are mad as hatters. Just look at them, they have crazy in their eyes. And they will eat anything, clotheslines, cans, rocks, jackets with zippers. And they do it just to freak you out, so if you see them staring at you can’t go to sleep, cuz they may just eat you.

17 06 2008
Ms. Kristine

WNBT!!!! That is hilarious! Goats are CRAZEEE! I just choked! LOLOLOL!

17 06 2008
bella

this is hysterical! but what makes it funny is that my lazy ass white co-worker LOVES pandas!!! i swear she just sits back there all day masturbating to them…

17 06 2008
Fruity Pebble

OH. MY. GOD. Too uncanny…just yesterday I saw an article blathering on about how pandas were adversely affected by the earthquake in China (forget the millions of Chinese PEOPLE, and my black-assed brother who just so happens to be there at the moment). I sighed in disgust and mentioned to a coworker that for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why people didn’t just get over pandas and leave them the hell alone…species die out every day!!! Any species that has to be physically guided to pu$$Y and forced to copulate AND shown panda porn to boot doesn’t deserve to proliferate. My ultra-whitebread coworker looked at me like I had just kicked a puppy with cleats, and hasn’t spoken to me since…

18 06 2008
Kit (Keep It Trill)

One of the funniest god-damned article I’ve read in awhile. Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock would doing love this as a skit. Thanx.

18 06 2008
Ariah

HAHA! Amazing. Although, you forgot to mention that even pandas don’t like other pandas, which is why their birth rate is so low. The only reason any pandas are left is because of humans being all like, hey Mr. Panda, look, she’s cute, go give her some bamboo and get it on!

18 06 2008
Tosin

That’s it..
you are my absolute favorite blogger in the world…
I laughed so hard I thought I was going to have a coronary..

19 06 2008
lazypen

Veggie eatin bastards

30 06 2008
Nick

I like pandas.

And fuck anyone who says different.

Cheerio

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: