‘The Book’

12 06 2008

When the movie version of ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ was released, you couldn’t walk as far as the corner store without running into nine motherfuckers talking about this godforsaken movie. The worst part of it, of course, was the fact that they were all saying the same thing:

“Yeah, the movie was good. But the book was definitely better.”

Figure 1: ‘Memoirs’ also sucked because Zhang Ziyi is a miserable asshole

This isn’t limited to ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’. People were saying it when ‘The Da Vinci Code’ was released on film. They said it when most of the Marvel movies (i.e. X-Men, The Hulk, etc.) were released, with comparisons being made to the comics. They said it when motherfucking ‘I, Robot’ was released. The shit never ever stops

There’s nothing a pompous asshole enjoys more than when a good book is made into a movie. He gets to go see the movie with his vapid hipster friends, after which they will all spend the next week reassuring themselves and others that the book was better than the movie. Granted, the point of telling people this isn’t actually to inform the victim that the book is, indeed, better than the movie. The point of this bullshit is to make people think they’re [read the rest of this sentence in a snooty English accent] a well-read member of the sophisticated elite, transcendent the trite and vulgar plane of the film’s popular appeal by virtue of having had the fortitude to engage that which is the uncompromisingly awesome cerebral challenge of the parent text…as if anyone gives a shit.

Figure 2: What the hipster sees in the mirror

They seem happy to ignore the fact that the book will, almost by sheer definition, always be better than the movie. Books are not time-bound, and consequently have more room for character development, plot development, detail, and artistic finesse. Furthermore, nobody makes shitty books into movies*. The fact that the book is already good gives it an advantage over the movie, because the movie has the potential to be awful. And even if the movie is fantastically done, it can’t develop plot and characters better than a book can, so the book is still better. You can actually use predicate logic to irrefutably prove that a movie can never be better than the book upon which it’s based.

The hipster fucktwat, however, likes to pretend that you don’t know this already. This makes it easier for him to discuss the book using words like ‘entendre’, ‘dichotomy’, ‘foil’, and ‘schadenfreude’ while your eyes glaze over at his attempt to mask his stupidity, gainless employment, and the fact that he’s 27 and still has roommates** with 4+ syllable French and/or German sounding words.

Figure 3: Somewhere out there are four angry fathers pretending not to know who the fuck these people are.

One of the most amazing things about people making book-to-film comparisons is the simple truth that no one ever asks for the comparison to be made. No one in history has ever turned to his friend during the end credits of a movie and said “hey Biff, how do you think this compares to the book?” It has never happened, not once, not ever. This means that everyone you see talking about a book compared to a movie is shoving their ideas down the throat of the listener against the listener’s will. Fascism, anyone? Here’s a list of things you can do after a movie besides hurling your literary nincompoopery at otherwise innocent people:

  • Shut the fuck up


Figure 4: Now available in Hazelnut!

The best part about shutting the fuck up is that it’s way easier than not shutting the fuck up. Here’s the process involved in shutting the fuck up:

  1. Think of something to say
  2. Don’t say it
  3. Repeat

This three-step method may be a little difficult for some hipsters to grasp, so I’ve developed an alternative one-step method for the more simple minded:

  1. Kill yourself

A world of silent and/or dead hipsters is exactly what the doctor ordered. The last thing we need is assholes in Castro hats telling us shit we already know. We don’t need hipsters telling us that backpacking through Europe is better than reading an Atlas. We don’t need hipsters telling us sex is better than masturbation. And we sure as hell don’t need hipsters telling us that books are better than movies.

*Usually.
**This is acceptable if you’re a doctor in residency, or you live on the International Space Station

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392 responses

12 06 2008
letinstar

i’m proud to say i never saw this movie or read the book…

12 06 2008
Miss Cocoa

Ok ok ok! I won’t do it anymore. How about the people that read the enyclopedia volumes that is otherwise known as Harry Potter? They are thirst when they first see the preview then when it comes out, all hell breaks lose. I think that I just blacked out. And for the record when we say that the book is better than the movie it’s probably because of a little thing called creative license which in turns pisses the reader off because they changed the whole damn story around some new “idea” that the director had. These feelings are fresh because I just saw The Other Boleyn Girl and was of course pissed throughout, lol. Ok that’s enough. Peace out. Check out my show thursdays 7-9 est http://www.wbmbradio.com.

12 06 2008
Laurel

So brutal. So funny. Saw Geisha the movie and read the book; don’t really remember much about either. I think some awful hipster writer like Jonathan Lethem should start writing books based on Tyler Perry movies.

12 06 2008
raha

lol… I’ve actually taken a few text to film classes where we did nothing but talk about the book vs. the movie, so I can’t help but think about that, sometimes it sucks when they change so much ish around and the only common denominator between the movie and the book is the shared title…. that’s what annoys me.

see your point though.

There have been good book to movie presentations though: autobiography of Malcolm X and Queen (although I guess as biographies they are a little different, and Queen was a miniseries, I think. up for debate too :/

House of Sand and Fog, and bone collector, those were pretty good too.

12 06 2008
ninasimone

lol..Im very guilty of saying this but only because I am an avid reader and I just looooove books. But you’re right though. I think about Invisible Man ( a fantastic book with a horrible ending–I love you Ellison but you know you wrong) and there is no way a movie could ever begin to truly portray the awesomeness of that book..so yea books have the advantage

btw…I actually enjoyed memoirs of a geisha

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

I despise people who do that. Same as people who go to “quirky” movies just to say they went. Or people who go to said “quirky” movies and then the next day talk loudly about how GOOOOOD it was and how it’s the best film ever put on the screen when in fact next month they’ll be talking about how another “quirky” movie is so GOOOOOD.

I also hate people who use shortened titles of films in conversation or in emails. I understand if you don’t want to say or type out Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind every time you want to say something about it. But I can’t stand people who shorten already short, as in two-word, titles. Such as: Half Baked becomes “Baked”, Point Break becomes “Point”, Kung Fu Panda becomes “Panda” and so on and so forth. Just take the extra second to say the whole title so you don’t sound like a total douche.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Oh and Memoirs of A Geisha is a great book, wonderfully written and a real contemplation on what it means to be a woman written from a believable woman’s perspective….by a man. An apparently straight man.

12 06 2008
shabooty

im only hipster when i am rockin the chanel aviators.
thank you 😉
n i havent read a real book in a year.
fuck.me.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I am so glad you wrote this. I hate people that do this almost as much as I hate people that think the “Coldest Winter Ever” is a well written novel (no offense). Just last week I was at work and I mentioned that I recently saw No country for old men. I couldn’t take a breath before some dumb ass overheard our conversation and asked… Have you read the book? It was so much better than the movie; you almost need to read the book before watching the movie. It really helps you understand the ending. I wanted to tell his rude, conversation crashing ass Hell no you dumb ass I saw the movie, isn’t that what the fuck I just said? But I was at work so I smiled sweetly and said no, I haven’t had a chance yet but I love Yeats so I though the title was fitting. ( I know my statement was “whoo hoo look it me I am smart comment too, but he started it ) He didn’t know what the hell I was talking about and responded, Yeah I head his book was good, I meant to pick it up but I haven’t had the time. LMAO

12 06 2008
imaG

Good shit…I’m back! This post was funny

http://www.anythingblack.net

12 06 2008
Muse

Shoot I’m guilty as charged. I wonder if some of my friends and family secretly hates me because I’m always bringing up how the books are usually better than the movie remakes. I’m not sure why I do it because no one ever asks for my opinion but a part of my soul has the urge to mention that I’ve read the book every time there is a movie remake. Deep down I know most of my friends don’t give a shit but I feel the need to share my thoughts anyway.

In fact on Tuesday my mom told me to shut the fuck up because I told her the book “Jumper” was way better than the movie LMAO. Then I went on a rant about what the movie was missing. She proceeded to call me a pompous asshole for not enjoying the movie for what it is.

BTW I was also one of the main people who bitched about the how x-men movies failed to properly cast certain characters, screwed up classic storylines, and left out key characters.

haha

12 06 2008
Muse

Coldest Winter Ever is the reason why we have ghetto lits like “Bring home my baby daddy and “Dat Down ass Chick from the Hood.”

I hate that book with my soul.

12 06 2008
Sylph

“schadenfreude”

I hate you. Too many fuckers on the ‘nets like to use this term to describe anything they find amusing to the point where it’s irritating.

Dan Brown should be hit with a Mack truck in reverse for even writing that book. The Da Vinci Code was crap and the movie was mediocre. He tried too hard to be like James Patterson and James Patterson isn’t even James Patterson anymore. I really wish I could break JP’s keyboard in front of him if he ever tried to type another sentence.

You are right. The books are always going to be better than the movie/show because as you stated, you can envision every detail laid down where the plot moves fluidly. When you have hacks in charge, the movie is going to suck no matter who’s playing lead. It’s one of the reasons I fear One Hundred Years of Solitude ever becoming a movie. Unless the director/screenwriter brings upon a new vision that tops the book, it won’t ever compare. Misery the movie was good but the book was excellent. Dexter was a decent book but the show is waaaaaaaaaay better than the book.

And why the hell is Zhang Ziyi dying in most of her films? Bitch never makes it to the end credits. (No, I have not seen Memoirs of a Geisha nor do I plan on watching it. I wanted to intially because Gong Li was in it but said no when I saw Zhang Ziyi in lead role.)

12 06 2008
ninasimone

“It’s one of the reasons I fear One Hundred Years of Solitude ever becoming a movie.”

they shouldnt even try.

12 06 2008
puff

the worst is when people say the book’s better than the movie when all they’ve done is read the back cover or they say, “one of my friends read it and they say the movie’s better”. um, retard, if you haven’t read the book, follow chris’ instructions and shut the fuck up, i don’t need reassertion of how stupid you are, i figured it out just by seeing your face.

12 06 2008
Roger

@NotBlonde: I too FUCKING HATE “quirky movies.” Because I had a LOT of white friends in grad school, we wound up going to a lot of quirky (read: utterly shitty) movies. Wes Fucking Anderson is the king of the quirky/shitty movie. We all went to see The Royal Tennenbaums–a movie, I might add, I would love to punch or stab in the nuts. When that excruciating piece of shit was over, I decided then and there to never see another movie he makes. EVER. Hell, even the commercials for his movies set my teeth on edge. Everyone was going on and on about how The Darjeeling Limited was sooooooo great, and oh, you didn’t see it? Why not? Well, because Wes Anderson makes shitty movies that he covers up in quirk and expects you the stupid viewer to love it and if you don’t “get it,” something MUST be wrong with you. Fuck that. My sense of humor is quite well developed, fuck you very much.

12 06 2008
vitazza

Oh My,
Guilty as charged I just had the nerve to tell a co-worker yesterday why she should never waste a dime on a Steven King inspired movie (I hate horror)(The Mist). The book IS ALWAYS better. Hahaha
I was much worse at being a pompastical mess when I managed a local bookstore….

12 06 2008
vitazza

Roger,
Do you mean “quirky” as in I only go to “LANDMARK” Theater?? or Art House Theaters……..??? THEY only offer “Quirk”. They are the hotness in the downtown area and “folks” are rarely seen because, sometimes you just want to see a movie your not looking for the wine/beer and cheese/gourmet sandwiches.

12 06 2008
Imsoalmondie

Im sitting here at my desk and I am literally LMAO @ myself. LMAO! I do agree with the fact that ummm… the books are always gonna be better than the movie for the same reasons that Chris listed. But Im LMAO @ myself because I am reading what Shay-d-lady and Muse commented. As I was reading the post Im sitting here thinking to myself…. I wonder why they never made a movie to that Sister Soulja Book… damn what was it… oh yeah… The Coldest Winter Ever! I must admit that I was one of the people who read that book front to back in a day or two. I was about 14 or 15 at the time it came out…. maybe thats why I was so into it then cuz I was feelin what she had to say… I don know… Im sitting here tryna justify why I liked the book… Im LMAO @ myself again.

12 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Shay-d-Lady, you are so right about The Coldest Winter Ever ” I am so glad that it was never made into a movie although every few years I hear that they are about make it into a movie. The first time I heard it I think Keisha Knight Pulliam was supposed to play Winter, then I heard Jada Pinkett-Smith (just why?), then I heard Megan Goode.

And who the hell are they? I just hate when I’m talking to friends or co-workers and someone says, “Well, they say that (insert whatever said idiot is talking about here).” Because of my communications major 😉 I always need to know the source. These fools instead look at me like I’m asking for too much when I ask who this ambiguous “they” are.

My favorite movie and book is The Color Purple (trite, I know). I was probably 7 when I saw it for the first time on HBO. Of course I didn’t completely understand it then but as I watched it over the years I would get figure more stuff out. Anyways buy the time I read and re-read the book years later I was able to fill in even more gaps and I had a visual of all the characters from having seen the movie. Now I just need to see the Broadway musical and I’ll be set. I have a strong feeling that it’ll knock The Phantom of the Opera out of its first place spot as my favorite stage production.

12 06 2008
Esquire

This is funny! Its like saying..”Cold is colder than hot.” You’re right. Anyone with a brain knows the book is ALWAYS better than the movie. But producers/ Hollywood execs know a lot of people dont read and they can make shitty or semi-shitty movies based on the novels plot so they can make loads of money. It works everytime.

I almost killed myself after The Mist. The things I let my husband talk me into.

12 06 2008
Jeresmom

Okay, so I must admit that I am guilty of informing people of books I have read that have been made into movies. But honestly, it wasn’t out of malice. I now have been enlightened about this and will refain from doing it again. With that being said, one should ALWAYS read the book before seeing the movie. And some books, as was stated previously, should NEVER be made into movies.
I would also like to piggyback on what Sylph said in that James Patterson fell off the minute he started that damn Women’s Murder Club. And those romance novels with his co-writers booted him down to #3 on my favorite authors list. He is now behind Toni Morison and Dean Koontz.

12 06 2008
dtang

well thought and very true… of course the book is gonna be better but i bet most people don’t think twice when they hear someone say it and assume they are booksmart. good points.

12 06 2008
vitazza

Oh!!
But the end of “THE MIST” (a short story mind you) WAS Better!!!!!
hahaaaaaa …….I hate that movie! and The Book!!!

12 06 2008
Alph Dapalf

Hey Chris,

I fucking love and desire you.

“The best part about shutting the fuck up is that it’s way easier than not shutting the fuck up. Here’s the process involved in shutting the fuck up:

1. Think of something to say
2. Don’t say it
3. Repeat”

Such genius.

lol

12 06 2008
Linnea

The only reason why I liked ‘The Coldest Winter Ever’ was because there was an actual moral to the story. It required you to actually ‘pick’ up on it….which a lot of people didn’t because they are dumb asses. Hence….books like “My Baby Daddy in the Hood” with no plot, no moral, nothing to gain. It’s like reading a damn music video.

I’ll man up today and admit that I am one of those types who thinks the book, for the most part, any book is better than a movie. I get pissed when people REFUSE TO FUCKING READ anything with some level of depth to it, which is why I bring up the fact a particular movie was/is a book, and people should probably try and read it, because I believe that reading is fundamental and brain exercise. Plus, if they start reading something they are familiar with, it’s easier to branch off and read other stuff they might find interesting that they didn’t know they would. Which hopefully would lead to stuff like reality dating shows and BET being eliminated from the face of the earth……….

I digress….

Anyway, I don’t believe in using big words like schenfraude or however the fuck you say/spell it for simple shit.

12 06 2008
sarah

its the opposite with me. after movies, my mom usually turns to me and asks whether the movie was better than the book.

and NotBlonde, i am a lover of “quirky” or independent films. not because i am an asshole, but because i dated an aspiring screenwriter, so we were always up in the theater or watching some under-a-rock DVD. anyway, it sparked my interest in indie and foreign films. blame it on him 🙂 but, when it comes to those movies, there is a fine line between artistic genius and masturbation effort. seriously, most of them are abortions.

12 06 2008
creativecat

And here I thought when the title of your post is “The Book” that you would be talking about “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.” Cause I do hate that book and movie with a passion.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

My sense of humor is pretty crude, but I like quirky humor to an extent too. But I always take pause at quirky movies because I know they’re not going to live up to the hype. For example, “Little Miss Sunshine” had its moments, BUT it wasn’t as funny as people were making it out to be.

I liked the movie Juno, kind of, because there were some funny lines in the movie, BUT the movie was trying so damn hard to be ‘quirky’ . When Juno picked up her Hamburger Phone to talk to her friend, I think I said something like, “oh, so we think we’re cool cause we got a damn burger phone?! Give me a break!” And the hipster douchebag soundtrack with the independent bands sort of got under my craw to (But should I hand in my black card because I liked that Moldy Peaches song, sort of?)

Also, the angry black man in me was thinking that if Juno was starred say, Keke Palmer and Denzel Whitaker and they based it in PG or Dekalb County and they ended the movie by singing “You’re All I Need” by Meth and MJB together, this movie wouldn’t have got near the amount of love…

12 06 2008
stuffgirlshlike

I have written a blog entry on book clubs, which is interesting, ulnfortunately I do not frequent the cinema but i love reading books, these days people do not read.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/book-clubs/

12 06 2008
stuffgirlshlike

Chris when is your book coming out? How exactly are you going to make money?

12 06 2008
sarah

the only reason i liked The Coldest Winter Ever was because i was 14 when i read it and didnt know any better. my sister, who can go through 5 books in a week, reads nothing but trash! it hurts my heart. for Christmas, i bought her two books: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (my favorite) and that Supahead book. needless to say, i found Maya Angelou under the couch when my mother was moving last weekend. it boggles the minds that she would rather read something like A Hood Chick.

12 06 2008
Cola

@ Linnea

I co-sign on all of your points. When people tell me that they don’t like to read it instantly pisses me off! I mean seriously how can you not like to read?!

12 06 2008
Lady

Biff… ha.

It does get annoying when people start that mess. The book will always be better because you interpret what you’re reading to suit you. The movie is someone else’s interpretation, so it’s always going to be better.

I had to hear people go on about that shit with Jurassic Park, I, Robot.. I watched the Marvel movies and heard some asshole in the back saying ‘that’s not how it was in the comic’… no shit.

These are probably the same people who saw Malcom X and said ‘his life was better’. WTF?

12 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Rev Leon, exactly where should I turn in my Black card? I liked “Anyone Else But You” (the Moldy Peaches song) too. It was in some commercial and I was singing along and my boyfriend gave me the best WTF look ever. They did try way too hard with the quirk in Juno but I enjoyed it.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@ishouldbeworking:

When I went to the ‘sip for the holidays, my dad, brother and cousins were watching Armageddon. When “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith came on, I started singing the hell outta of the chorus. All of them turned and GLARED the hell outta me at the same time, and my dad says, “Boy, what the hell is wrong with you?!” and turned to my cousins and said “See, thats what happens when you go to a white school!” (I went to Southern Miss).

12 06 2008
Knatural

Hi. What’s irritating is when you start reading a book, purely based on interest/love of that author, not because Oprah told you to, and someone comes along when you’re more than halfway through it and tells you the movie comes out in six months. I was reading “Love In The Time of Cholera” on the train last spring and this lady comes over to me and says, ‘hey, you know they making that into a movie!?!’ Bitch. I didn’t want to know that.

12 06 2008
JaBe

hehehehehehe. Most of the time, it’s just something to say knowing full well they haven’t read the book.
Although it’s a movie that many of us have in our DVD collection and understanding the difficulty in fully developing multiple characters in 120 minutes, we cannot forget The Color Purple, the Genesis of the phrase, Waiting to Exhale and, although it didn’t make it to the silver screen, Disappearing Acts (which actually WAS better than the movie).

12 06 2008
Sandybaby

I am still laughing @ “Hey Biff”

*tears*

12 06 2008
JG*

Coldest Winter Ever: It was an “interesting” book, but it was written horribly! Like a high schooler just rambling on! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought so. However my sister said (An EBP) “She wrote it that way because that is how her readers talk and they would understand it better”

My reply? “The book is a gagillion pages long. I’m sure a person who can’t READ wouldn’t be reading this book.”

12 06 2008
srah

Books are so much longer than movies that something has to go when the movie version is made. More movies should be based on short stories, I think.

I usually prefer movie-versions of fantasy novels (like Lord of the Rings) to the book, because you can actually see all the fantastical elements that you had to imagine before, and because there’s usually a lot of useless garbage in there that could stand to be cut.

12 06 2008
Landon

We can make fun of their hippster movies…..

but i am sure they can laugh at us just as hard looking at out urban cinema selection…

Belly (which I love and watched at least 100 times in college to the point i know where Tboz messed up her lines)…. or what about our great urban classic… State Property or State Property 2? At least those hippster films hired real editors…

What is Hype Williams doing these days anyway?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Ok I only read the 1st paragrapg of this :-)…i loved the movie but the book was hella alot better…ok back to reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll be on this bitch all day since my man’s daughter gave me her cold DAMN CHILDREN AND THEIR GERMS!!! carry on 🙂

12 06 2008
Landon

Your 20 and your man has baby Miss Epps?

or are you 20 and married already…

12 06 2008
Landon

My favorite book that was turned into a movie was When We Were Soilders with Mel Gibson in the movie…

The book was good and so was the MOvie…

however, some of the things they changed in the MOVIE…. is messed up because it was based on a real Battle in NAM… and you can’t or should not change a story when people really died a certain way. How is a character who died in real life going to make it through the movie… i hate when they do things like that… Its one thing make a movie based on a fictional book, but when the book is about an real battle were many americans died i think you owe those soilders and thier families and accurate movie !!~!!!!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ok done reading hahahaha oMGGG

The point of this bullshit is to make people think they’re [read the rest of this sentence in a snooty English accent] a well-read member of the sophisticated elite, transcendent the trite and vulgar plane of the film’s popular appeal by virtue of having had the fortitude to engage that which is the uncompromisingly awesome cerebral challenge of the parent text…as if anyone gives a shit.-Chris

why the fuck did i just read it with an english accent? SMH im a loser

“The best part about shutting the fuck up is that it’s way easier than not shutting the fuck up. Here’s the process involved in shutting the fuck up:

1. Think of something to say
2. Don’t say it
3. Repeat”

Dude..people should use this on a daily basis of life not just at the movies… love it!

Biff hahah that just makes me thinkof Back To The Future…”McFlyyyyyyy”

12 06 2008
Ethel

Guilty of doing this in the past…Specificlaly w/ “Memoirs of a Geisha”…until I found out that the writer of this book not only got most of the facts of Geisha lives WRONG, confusing them w/ the lives of stylized Japanese prostitutes during WWII, he also promised the actual Geisha he intereviewed that he wouldn’t reveal his source/her name and then the stupid fuck THANKS HER IN THE FORWARD, pretty much fucking her career.

Arthur Golden needs to be punched in the vagina.

I’m going to go back to drinking my cup of ‘shut the fuck’ up now and continue reading the comments.

Once again, thanks to Chris for his articulate accuracy.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon, my man is 25 turning 26 at the end of the month with a daughter tunring 6 in july..yes I’m 20..we are engaged but it is just easier to say husband since thats how we see each other.. we are getting married next yr 🙂

12 06 2008
thechad1911

i actually liked Memoirs of a Geisha AND Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil….

I think John Grisham books made decent movies. Runaway Jury was nice (I KNOW its nothing like the book, but it was still a good movie).

and to Rev. Leon – it’s ok to like Aerosmith because they made a song with Run DMC so it’s kinda like they have some street cred. U gotta learn the parameters of the black card!

12 06 2008
Landon

Wow Married at 21… with a kid basically…. wow… you are Mature, lol!!!!

more mature than me… and i am 27 own a coop and so on… GOOD LUCK with that… your mad young… but each person can handle different things at different ages. I think i will be ready in about 5 years… so 32… 🙂

In belly… the line were NAS comes home with a bullet in his let and tells Tboz i ve been shot, but no need to go to the hosptial lets just go to Africa might be the funniest and worst written scene ever in a movie… 🙂

12 06 2008
Knatural

Ok, I’d never of ‘The Coldest Winter Ever’ until reviewing these comments, so I looked it up. Apparently, Jada Pinkett-Smith is trying to make a film out of it. The only visual production of a book that I thought was kinda better was that TV special of “Their Eyes Were Watching God”, produced by Oprah (of course). Only it had Halle Berry’s non-acting ass in it, but this guy helped me stomach her presence. The TV movie was better because I could actually understand what they were saying. That Florida “dialect”/pidgin English/slave talk in the book is hard to follow.

12 06 2008
Knatural

never heard of*
How did I leave out the verb?!?!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol yea married at 21…with a step-daughter i know hahah..people always get wide-eyed when i tell them…and call me brave..im like it aint no thang..i been taking care of children longer than my man had his child lol and been taking care of myself since i left the nest at 17…so yea i had to grow up…now im 20, going to school, got a good as job and have my own house..not alot of 20 yr olds can say that so im proud of myself.. but your 27 you still have time so its all good 🙂

I love to hate the movie Belly btw…

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Wait Coldest Winter Ever? i thought that was a movie too?? oooh wait never mind that was Cold Mountain when we all got to see Nicole Kidman’s hairy red twat…gross LMAO

Their Eyes Where Watching God..i read that back in highschool still one of my favorite books.
man Knat Halle sucked in the movie big time but that dude forgot his name he is helllaaaa cutttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

12 06 2008
Monie

I hope no one mentioned this already. I think the best book-to-movie was Devil In A Blue Dress. I always wondered why there weren’t more Easy Rawlin’s films made.

Don Cheadle was great as Mouse, he really captrued Mouse’s essence from the book. And in general the film was as good as the book.

12 06 2008
Monie

A sequel to Coldest Winter is coming out soon.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Monie! I love that book too and the movie…

12 06 2008
Landon

Color Purple? surprised no one mentioned that book to movie

Deliverence was another book to movie that was pretty good on both ends… that damn banjo sogn and the fat guy squeling liek a pig haunted my dreams and made me never want to visit Tenessee (or was it kentucky… i think it was Tenn..
Green Mile was another good one…

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

Off the top of my head – 1408 by Stephen King was an excellent book and movie. Like Water for Chocolate was EXACTLY like the book.

If people who bitch about the book being better than the movie is bad, people who complain that a remake movie being worse than the original should be shot without trial. Really? Guess Who? wasn’t as good as Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? Damn, I always thought of Ashton Kutcher as a white Sidney Poitier.

12 06 2008
Landon

Merri:

I think that is warranted because there are some rare cases when the remake is better than the orginal. NOt many but there are some.

12 06 2008
Esquire

Landon,
I am mad you gave yourself a timeline. I hope the woman of your dreams comes and slaps you in the face causing you to get married at 28.

12 06 2008
Monie

Merri Lee,

One of the worst re-makes of all time has to be Beyonce in the re-make of Carmen Jones. Just awful!

12 06 2008
Knatural

Ugh…Belly. Most Horribly plot, acting, and they’re making a sequel. I attempted to watch it recently because it’s free On Demand; I got through two minutes (basically the Skrip Club blacklight scene) and cut that piece of shite off.

Landon – why’d you bring up that up? Deliverance is so creepy and has contributed to my fear of West Virginia, along with The Descent, Wrong Turn, and any other horror film set in Appalachia. Thanks Landon. Thanks a lot.

12 06 2008
Produce Stand

I liked the Movie and the Book for Memoirs of a Geisha, but I am guilty for saying the book was better every time a movie comes out.

I agree I don’t think they should turn books into movies… I’m pretty sure I’ll be ranting about how the book Twilight was better than the movie when I comes out.

B

12 06 2008
Merri Lee


Knatural (13:57:19) :

I was reading “Love In The Time of Cholera” on the train last spring and this lady comes over to me and says, ‘hey, you know they making that into a movie!?!’ Bitch. I didn’t want to know that.

My personal fave – a total stranger approaches you, “It’s so sad how the mother dies, isn’t it?” BITCH, CAN’T YOU SEE I’M ON PAGE THREE????

12 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Rev. Leon, get out of my head! I just added “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” to my playlist on Pandora yesterday. I try to keep my playlists diverse at work -you know, got to represent.

Knatuarl, thank you soooooooooooo much for the Michael Ealy pic. He is so fine! I was actually happy when he and Halle Berry broke up so that he could reclaim his rightful position as my pretend boyfriend!

12 06 2008
Landon

Yes i gave my self a time line…

Hell my mom told me i couldnt get married till i get my MBA… she was not playing…
But i want to make sure I go out and do a lot of the things i want to do before i become a husband or a family man… My brother got married 5 years ago he has 3 boys already… Its cool he’s a great father but thats his life… work and his boys… I am not ready for that…
I still have some things to do before i really settle… Plus i want to make sure i secure my finances and future so i can support my family… Is that so wrong?

12 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Landon–yo mama said what? You a grown ass man. I’m all for having your stuff together and sowing your oats before you take that leap but you just might miss out on “the one” by being so rigid.

12 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

But no it’s not wrong to want to be able to financially support your family. That’s commendable.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Deliverance gave me nightmares when i saw it…never again…The Color Purple also another favorite…The Shining was good,my ex got me in to the series Dark Tower by Stephen King…i wonder what the movies would be like..I Loved the book The Last Juror by John Grisham….Black Boy by Richard Wright

12 06 2008
Knatural

Landon’s a mamma’s boy. Neener neener neener…

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I wasn’t sure what you guys meant by “quirky” until I read Roger’s comment about The Royal Tennenbaum’s. That effin’ movie made me want to slice my own damn jugular. WTF!!! And I rented it. If I’d been in the theater, I would’ve demanded my money back. I hate when the movies make no damn sense but leave you feeling like you’re the one with the problem b/c you didn’t get it. In the words of Jay-Z, “Just cuz you don’t understand him it don’t mean that he’s right.”

Belly – ahhhh Belly. In 2002 I was on a ship for 4-5 months with no cable tv. I think I watched that damn movie every other day. Let’s go to Africa! BITCH!! It’s a continent! Imagine calling Delta – “Yeah, I’d like two tickets to Africa.” The movie I hate to love.

Landon, State Property was some bull$hit. I can’t even believe you brought that up.

12 06 2008
Angel30

“When I went to the ’sip for the holidays, my dad, brother and cousins were watching Armageddon. When “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith came on, I started singing the hell outta of the chorus.”

Rev, I love that song too, but I’m mad at you b/c you love that song & you’re GUY. . . Stop it.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Carmen Jones: A Hip Hopera. That wasn’t even a shit sandwich, that was a shit casserole of a remake.

I go back and forth about which version of ‘Imitation of Life’ I like better, because I like them both. The 1934 version was more realistic to me because Fredi Washington was actually half-black. The 1959 version was more glamorous in a way, but Susan Kohner was half mexican half jewish, so it didn’t seem as ‘real’ to me.

As for John Grisham novels, ‘The Client’ was my favorite book-to-movie transition of his, because Brad Renfro really played the hell out of that character. Certain details in ‘The Pelican Brief’ was a lot more understandable to me as a movie than it was as a book (but I read that book back when I was in 9th grade, so go figure)

I like “Carrie” better as a movie than a book mainly because seeing the telekinesis was better to me than imagining it. But that’s just me.

But ‘The Rage: Carrie 2’ was a shitty abortion of a movie…I refused to believe that dorky ass Brad Taylor from Home Improvement could be a playa. Give me a break.

The Color Purple was an interesting remake, although they skipped over a lot of the relationship between Shug and Celie when it was adapted into a movie.

12 06 2008
Landon

Yonnie that was my point, it was BS and they made a sequal…

my favoirte part in Belly outside of the Africa comment…

was the shoot out in the house… when the Jam Rock chick jumped down 4 stories in 5 inch heels landed with out breaking her damn ankle and cut dudes throat… I was like what in the hell…

Mama’s boy — i guess i am… She’s still mad at me because i turned down B school this year to take another job… Mom is big on education… She does not care that i already have a masters… she really wants me to get my JD.

I am a grown ass man… but i still try my best to make my mom proud of me… She sacraficed a lot for me… SHE just wants the best for me… I might find miss right, but she has to pass my MAMA’s test… not easy… back in the day girls use to call my MOM the ICE QUEEN…

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@Angel30:

I never said I ‘loved’ the song, I was just singing the chorus. It was catchy as hell, what can I say?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon-Hell my mom told me i couldnt get married till i get my MBA… she was not playing…
But i want to make sure I go out and do a lot of the things i want to do before i become a husband or a family man… My brother got married 5 years ago he has 3 boys already… Its cool he’s a great father but thats his life… work and his boys… I am not ready for that…
I still have some things to do before i really settle… Plus i want to make sure i secure my finances and future so i can support my family… Is that so wrong?

well 1st off you MOTHER shouldnt be telling you when to get married..my mom tried that shit on me when i was younger said I couldnt get married til i was 27…until i told her i was engaged and she jumped up and down out of joy lol

Nothing is wrong with securing your finances more ppl need to do that! But getting married is not the end of the world.. you talking like once you get married then kids come right after that…nope..like im getting married next yr doesnt mean we are having kids next yr either.. we want to do some more traveling before we have kids…Everyone thinks that when you get married you get a ball and chain…well it depends on who you choose to spend your life with. If the women is over protective like that then maybe you should reconsider marriage if you dont want that “ball and chain” in the long run.. Like if my man wants to chill with his boys and go to the strip club FINE!! because i trust him and that he has better morals than to fuck some nast pole ho lol…plus i like strip clubs too soo i guess thats a plus…MOral of the story…make sure you get a cool ass chick that trusts you and you trust her and she is cool with you doing shit with out her…because i know to many females that dont let their man do shit…thats crazyyyy…its healthy to have friendships outside the marriage…because if you dont you will go mad! lol thats what my mom told me

12 06 2008
Landon

In the play they explore the relationship between shug and celie

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Oh yeah, I loved The Coldest Winter Ever when I read it, but I was a kid so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t critiquing the literary merit of the book – just the excitement of the story. I really don’t remember what it was about anymore. But if Jada Pinkett Smith were in the movie, I’d go see it. I’d go see Jada if she made a movie that had nothing but close ups of her blinking.

12 06 2008
Angel30

“Landon, my man is 25 turning 26 at the end of the month with a daughter tunring 6 in july..yes I’m 20..we are engaged but it is just easier to say husband since thats how we see each other.. we are getting married next yr”

Ms. Epps, I don’t want to be all in your business (when I read Landon’s question, the 1st thing that popped in my my mind was “mind you own damn business”) & I KNOW this is not what this blog is about, but I have to say it. DON’T DO IT!!! You’re soooo young. Don’t get married. Everyone is in such a rush to do things & you won’t have anything to look forward to when you get older. (Hopefully) you’ll live for at least another 60 years, so why jump the broom & have kids in the cradle of your life? Your entire 20s should be about having fun & “finding yourself” (cliche, but true). Who you are at 20 is NOT who you’ll be at 30 (I can’t speak on 40 yet). I have a good life, but damn I wish I had waited. Just my 2 (er 4) cents.

12 06 2008
Knatural

“The Color Purple was an interesting remake, although they skipped over a lot of the relationship between Shug and Celie when it was adapted into a movie.”-Leon
Did you really wanna see some sick lesbo scenes involving Whoopi Goldberg? Really?
Landon – Belly has numerous priceless (worthless) material to question. I couldn’t understand word one of that Jamaican dude Lennox. He needed subtitles throughout. And that big-bootied “Jam Rock” chick jumped at least 25ft. off of a banister, landed in 5in. stilettos and didn’t cripple herself? Right. She’s that bad. I forgot.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

pass the mama test…boy you are grown…..my grandma hates my step-dad but does my mom care hell no…and im thankful thatmy parents like my man but if they didnt they can kick rocks…all that matters is that i love him…and they can TAKE IT lol

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Name that movie…..

“Don’t make me shoot you Teacake….” and
“I got 600 acres and when I die it can all be yours”

12 06 2008
Landon

Your girl… its different… it just is.. my brother has as great marriage and so do my parents. I will know how to handle the situation when it comes about.

No need to get into the marriage issue because it will open a new can of worms..

Personally i think you are too young and you will already have a child once you get married. I know you have been independent since 17… but marriage is whole other level. I agree with my mom about i should wait because she knows me best… She knows how i think and how i act. Sadly things cahnge once people get married + its hard to control when you have kids. My brother did not plan to have three so quickly, SHit happens…

i wish you GOOD luck..i do believe there is such thing as getting married to young… as mature as we think we are… marriage is a whole other level… you have to find yoru self before you can truly share your self with someone else…

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@Mrs. Epps:

NO! That was just a random observation, thats all.

@Deesigner:

Their Eyes Were Watching God

12 06 2008
D.R.L.F.

Is it sad that whenever I read this blog I think about divorcing one of my friends? It’s like Chris had a conversation with them and got so enraged he was motivated to crank out a blog.

At times I’m convinced that Landon is actually Dustin pretending to be straight and cover up how much he’s posting.

12 06 2008
Dustin

Too busy to read the post or comments. Just had to chime in and say that my friends are emailing me with snippets of Landon’s comments. We’re all in love with him now.

I totally perused the facebook page yesterday to see if he was a member of the group. I have a degree in Cyberstalking.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I love the Color Purple b/c everytime I watch it (started watching with my mom in ’85 – have seen it about 100 times), I pick up on something new. No $hit, I just figured out that there was a lesbian relationship like 5 or 6 years ago. I’m 27. I tried reading the book as the teenager, but found it a hard read (the same with The Bluest Eye). I suppose I should pick it (them) up again. Plus, as I said in another post, TCP is the most quoted movie by black people:

I love to sleep in. Every Friday afternoon after Thanksgiving: “Dear God, the dead has arisen.”

My mom: “Where’s your brother.” Me: “Home, fixin’ a shaaaavvveee Mista” And I have a cousin we call Mista.

Anytime I’m saying bye to family after a gathering (holdiay, family reunion, etc), “Wriiiiiittttteee!!! Me and you us never part….(doing the hand motions and fake sobbing”

After every wedding I hear, “I’s married naa….I’s married NAA!!!”

Oh yeah, why is Zhang Ziyi an a$$hole?

12 06 2008
Angel30

@ knatural

Mmmmmm, I agree. He’s yummy!

12 06 2008
Landon

You can laugh, but NO woman knows me better than my Momdukes. With divorce rates at nearly 50% and i dont believe in divroce (TIL DEATH does us part)…

i am taking my time… if she is meant to be, she will wait. If she does not oh well. WHo i was at 21 – 23 – 25 and now 27 are different people… SO DIFFERENT. not saying you have not lived… but you’ll be surprised how your out look on life will evolve.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Thanks Rev,

You win a Venti, no foam, shaken not stirred, half whipped, 140-160, 1/4 caf, caramel cinnamon dolce latte expresso over ice.

On the house.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

LOL @ Landon’s “Thunder E-Hoes” (no offense – from Somali’s or CreoleBooty’s earlier comments. Landon, stop stealing Chris’ thunder. Everyone knows he uses this blog as a ploy to get women.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I must agree that State property was some bullshit…But I too love to hate Belly….What the fuck was going on with Cain from Menace to Society in that joint? Anyway.. I fucking hate Coldest winter ever, Their was nothing deep about it and yes Muse it was the slippery slope that lead to the ghetto lit uprising. This bitch had the nerve to talk about 2pac and his lyrics? Every time I see one of those damn hood bitch books I want to hunt her down and gut her while making her define shit like plot, flow, consistency,…etc And yes I hate “quirky” I had wp at work going on and on about Wes Anderson and I have not seen one of his movies that I found funny. I loved Juno and Little Miss Sunshine but def agree that if juno was a black movie, they would have boycotted and it would def not have been touted as the “feel good movie of the year”. They would have probably had a summit with cousin Jeff about it on BET and discussed for 5 hours how the movie is the reason little black kids in the ghetto are not getting and education and having babies at 13.

12 06 2008
Knatural

“It’s gon’ rain on yo head”

12 06 2008
Landon

Wait what the hell… snippets… stalking… what the deuce…

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Mmmm mmmm….. I don’t like that $hit…. nah….I don’t like that $hit.

12 06 2008
Knatural

“You win a Venti, no foam, shaken not stirred, half whipped, 140-160, 1/4 caf, caramel cinnamon dolce latte expresso over ice.”

Speak-a de English?

12 06 2008
D.R.L.F.

I quote Color Purple at least once a day. I haven’t seen it in about 6 months so I’m going to watch it again this weekend.

12 06 2008
Landon

Yonnie… i know your secrets… dont make me Call E on ya!!!!

St Croix crew is suppose to stick together…

12 06 2008
Landon

you lucky camp lo just came on my pandora to calm me down… Dustin?????? you a female?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angel30-Ms. Epps, I don’t want to be all in your business (when I read Landon’s question, the 1st thing that popped in my my mind was “mind you own damn business” & I KNOW this is not what this blog is about, but I have to say it. DON’T DO IT!!! You’re soooo young. Don’t get married. Everyone is in such a rush to do things & you won’t have anything to look forward to when you get older. (Hopefully) you’ll live for at least another 60 years, so why jump the broom & have kids in the cradle of your life? Your entire 20s should be about having fun & “finding yourself” (cliche, but true). Who you are at 20 is NOT who you’ll be at 30 (I can’t speak on 40 yet). I have a good life, but damn I wish I had waited. Just my 2 (er 4) cents.

Very good point..and so many people say the same thing..but the fact is that you dont know me and what I’m about.. i said before I am not like other 20 yr olds..I have already found myself and what I want to do with my life..its in the process now..I basiclly have my own business along with having a full time job…we are working on get a set on Sirus radio. I’m doing big things with my life. As for fun…if you read most of my comments on here 1/2 the ppl see how much fun i have…Im not a club going type anymore…I pay my bills, mortgage like any other person who has responsibilities…getting married just makes me and my man’s relationship official on paper. We already act married everyone around us says that including our parents, so basically everyone can say whatever they want about it, saying im confused I dont know what I want..i just have the need for “security”. Which is understandable, but im not that broke ass 20 yr old, living with my parents, with no car, no job, and dont know what my future holds. Im happy and kinda sick of people dictating to me on what i should be doing with my life instead of getting “married”..not saying thats what you were doing because Im not taking it that way.. Im just saying people in general…:-)

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

My favorite…. till you do right by me

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Well, my pops told me to not even worry about getting married until I’m in my 30s, and growing up having witnessed the dysfunctional relationship between him and my mom, I ain’t exactly rushing to get married anyhow. Hell, my brother and I have given them our ‘blessing’ to go their separate ways. I’m out the house and my brother is headed to grad school, so the excuse about “being there for my boys” doesn’t exactly pass muster now.

@Yonnie:

Me and my extended family will go around saying random lines from The Color Purple all the time. Shit, it’s a quick way to bond with folks too.

The Color Purple and Coming To America have to be the most quoted black movies.Ever.

Even some of Sister Tyler Perry’s chitlin circuit plays have some quotes in there that people will recognize. Like me and my circle of friends are the only ones that say “Hellur” when we’re describing the haughty and bougie.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Ms epps.. keep your head up I am 28 and me and my husband have been married for 6 years and together for 7. He is 27. Everyone told us not to do it. We ended up eloping and getting married at a resort. To this day we are happy and I dont regeret it. It is hard because you guys grow up together and me and my husband are totally different people than we were when we first met but it worked in our favor..

12 06 2008
Landon

acting in a movie about a war and being in a war are two different things…

we are wishing you luck…

Its just when you are married there are no do overs… (kind of)… its real of REAL… we got your back… and you if you know you are ready… hey if there’s an open bar at the wedding… i am there to crash it 🙂

just even with all your responsabilities being a little older than you we know some things that will be in your path. The biggest obsticle you are going to face is the evolution of you… simply put…

i will say as black folks we have to put a cap on how many times we do the electric slide at a wedding… the maddness has to end…

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

have a child once i get married??!!…negative..another reason why i roll my eyes at ppl who say im to young to get married and dont know me personally…i dont plan on having kids until im 25… carry on

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@Deesigner: Thank you, I’m sleepy as hell, trying not to nod off at my desk, cause massa is lurking around.

So lemme ask ya’ll this:

When I’m at Barnes & Noble, and I see the section labled “Urban Fiction” with all those types of books (or “nigglature” as one friend of mine describes them), am I the only one who is tempted to knock all those books off the shelves/table?

12 06 2008
Dustin

Depends. . .

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

NO Rev you are not the only one. IN fact I bring my daughter with me and try and get her to knock over the display tables. LMAO @ nigglature. I am definitely using that going forward.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

I first read “The Color Purple” in 1984 when I was 13 and I completely missed the lesbian inferences. When I read it again before the movie was released I was shocked that my mom let me read it at that age.
This is also around the time that I discovered Maya Angelou. I wonder why none of her books have been adapted for the big screen?
I can read Toni Morrison books over and over because I always find subtleties that I missed before that add a different perspective to the story. That is the beauty of reading over watching the same story as a movie.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Rev Leon – YES!! That’s what I was saying back in the Gas Prices post (how the hell did we get on movie quotes?). The Color Purple, Coming to America, and The Cosby Show – most quoted.

Funny (Sad) Story – my friend was on a business trip (in Texas I think) and at the lunch, someone walked in and robbed the place. So, he sends out this really sincere email to everyone telling the story and how thankful he is nobody was hurt. What followed was like 20 emails with people asking questions like, “Did he look like Sam Jackson? Was he taken down by a mop handle?, etc. My friends….so compassionate.

12 06 2008
Landon

yonnie lol…

12 06 2008
Esquire

Landon,
no offense, but your women should pass YOUR tests. They will do things for you and know you in a way that your mother (hopefully) never will.

I dont know you or your mother, so I cant comment on you personally and wont go there. But I do know of men who have allowed thier “mom dukes” to get in the way of the best thing for them. What if no one truly is good enough? Dont set yourself up for a life of loneliness.

I asked my 38 year old single friend if HIS mother passed his grandmother’s test. Funny, she didn’t have to go through the same bull his mean ass mama was doing.

Luckily, my mother-in-law loves me. And I consider her a second mom, but then again I didnt have to jump through stupid hoops. She trusted and respected her truly grown son’s decisions. Who wants to walk on pins and needles every holiday and at your childrens events…aint no man worth that.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I don’t think any of Toni’s books should be made into movies because there is so much going on that could not be carried over into film. I have a love hate relationship with Toni anyway. Her earlier books are really good and then its like after she received a little acclaim she started to believe her own hype and started writing books to be deep and confusing for the sole purpose of being deep and confusing…

12 06 2008
Deesigner

LMAO @ Dustin and Landon.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon LOLLLLLL well buddy…thanks for all the great insight of marriage…and yes there will be an open bar 🙂

Thanks Shay…yea i know it will be hard but i like a good challenge

for the record i didnt believe in young marriage..but atleast i wont be 18 at my wedding and cant even sip on my own wedding champane lol 🙂

no electric sliding please!! i always get sucked in to doing it at family cookouts…

ahahah the 1st dance will be like this jk

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

As for adapting Toni Morrison’s movies to screen, remember one word:

Beloved.

@Yonnie: I would’ve asked if the janitor said “Freeze you diseased rhinosaurus pizzle” with a gun in hand.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

When I’m at Barnes & Noble, and I see the section labled “Urban Fiction” with all those types of books (or “nigglature” as one friend of mine describes them), am I the only one who is tempted to knock all those books off the shelves/table?
-Rev

man no you are not alone on that one…i fucking hate that section..one day a group of friends and i attempted to empty that section in our local Barnes&Noble..

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I’m gonna be doing the Electric Slide, the Bunny Hop (Louisiana/Mississippi folks know about htis one), the Cha Cha and the Cupid at my wedding.

As long as no one leads the reception into doing the ‘Chicken Dance’ we’re good.

12 06 2008
Landon

i disagree… i believe not only is it important your family likes your wife and vice versa… but it only helps when the in-laws get a long also.. It makes things then times easier and help reconilliation when you are in troubled waters…

She has to pass my test before i would ever bring her to the Supreme court known as my parents. They aren’t even the toughest one’s my lil neice… she’s a piece of work… if she dont like a girl i am dating she will give her the straight 6 year old side eye, its hillarious…

Harmony and family structure are important to me. Two black families working as one is one of the keys for our community to come to peace…

I am not going to be LIKE USHER… and disrespect MOM Dukes. My mom will always put my welfare first… My wife is taking on my family name… And we are very proud of our name and what it repersents in our community. I want to make sure she upholds that name… Does that make sense?

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

Landon (16:08:21) :

i will say as black folks we have to put a cap on how many times we do the electric slide at a wedding… the maddness has to end…

No sh!t

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

All I can say is, at least nigglature get the nigglets to read. Its better than nothing. Who do you guys think is more responsible for this nonsense: Sista Souljah or Terry McMillan? I think Terry. Even though you can’t put her books in the same category with “My Baby Daddy” (is that a real book), it’s all the Terry mcMillan wannabes that are flooding the Urban Fiction section with garbage.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Dont forget the chinese checkers! and yes Tennessee is on that Bunny hop as well!

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Its sister Soulja. Terrys books are black versions of chick lit but the address real life subjects and happenings for the most part. Sister solja started the whoe scarface in the gehtto phenom that is all about drugs, sex and strippers trying to “get their ass in”…..

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Luckily, my mother-in-law loves me. And I consider her a second mom, but then again I didnt have to jump through stupid hoops. She trusted and respected her truly grown son’s decisions. Who wants to walk on pins and needles every holiday and at your childrens events…aint no man worth that.
-esquire

right…When i met my man’s mother the 1st time i was nervous as hell thinking she would hate me because i heard the story about how she started beating his ex-girlfriend in the head with her shoe while they were going to New Jersey for Thanksgiving to see his Aunt. Well we were goiing to Jeresy and i was crossing my fingers that she wouldnt start whaling on me out the blue hahah..she didnt and his mom, aunt cousin and uncle loved me! it actually got to the point were my man got mad that they were chillin with me more than him LMAO…but what made me happy was when we went to visit my parents for the 2nd time and they actually got to sit down and meet with him and my dad pulled me to the side and said he was a keeper. MY DAD HATES EVERYONE!! tears came to my eyes..now my parents want to see us liek everyother weekend and stuff because my dad is big on cooking out..so we will be there this weekend lol

12 06 2008
Landon

I think Ice Berg Slim has to be accounted for also in terms of books that spawned a series of copy cat hood books.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@Yonnie:

Yeah, it’s getting them to read, but the bad grammar, the banal plotlines, the bad spelling and oh, did I mention the bad grammar in those books make the Journalism major in me get all uppity about them. I don’t know if those books do more hurt or harm than good when it comes to writing skills.

12 06 2008
Landon

Mrs. Epps:

thats all i want..

wait she was hitting his ex girl with a shoe? HAHAHAHAHAH

12 06 2008
Landon

why was she hitting her?

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Yonnie,
Terri McMillan is responsible for a lot of things, like the resurgence of caribbean tourism and black cougars, but she is soooooo not responsible for the “Baby Daddy” “Husla B*tch” books. That crap did not start until Sister Soulja showed up.

I want to believe that at least that crap has people reading, but like another poster said “it’s just like reading a music video.” (that was brilliant btw).

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Rev, I think it does more harm. It justifies the foolishness that we see everyday. IN my opinion, (I know, but I am still going to give it) books are suppose to expand your knowledge and your world. There is nothing about any of these books that expands the current knowledge or enhances the reader in any way, shape, form or fashion. Its just a waste of paper, space and time.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

LOL @ coonery. That’s synonymous with niggerdom, right?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon-i disagree… i believe not only is it important your family likes your wife and vice versa… but it only helps when the in-laws get a long also.. It makes things then times easier and help reconilliation when you are in troubled waters…

She has to pass my test before i would ever bring her to the Supreme court known as my parents

I can dig it…we all havent had dinner together yet so we will see. But I have a feeling that my Mom is going to think that his Mom is crazy as fuck because she really is…lol We both come from different backgrounds…I was raised by a military family and he was raised in a semi-dysfunctional family. So we have different views on life at times but we seem to stay on the same page…I say this we have learend alot from each other..we have been friends for almost 5 yrs and have been in a serious relationship for 2 of them..we have had our ups and downs liek everyone else but i think if we work hard and keep the comunication going things will be great.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Mrs. Epps, your children are going to have crazy people on BOTH sides of their family. hahahahahhhhahhahahhahhahhahahahahahhahaha…….

12 06 2008
Landon

its offical we all have issues… not the weave stuck to the heel runnign from the cops that would be hillarious on an episode of COPS…

we were able to match strands of hair in the fight to the weave stuck to your Jimmy Choo’s lol

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon!!! YESS a SHOEEE while they were in the car and he had to turn around and take his mother back to DC i was laughing soooo hard… well his Mom told me that he didnt like her attitude and that she was way to clingy.. like when he was driving she was all laying on him and shit and touching him constantly… His aunt said the same when they got to her house in Jersey…that whenever he went to the bathroom she wanted to go with him.. she wouldnt let him breath…She was babying him i think thats the word they used…it was funny because then they went on and said that they didnt really like latina women they are after one thing and thats having children and stability…i choked on my juice and said ” umm well im part puerto rican” and then smiled.. his mom bust out laughing and was said ” well not you dear.. you are cool peoples we like you so dont worry i wont hit you with my shoe”.

They are some funny ass ladies that drink to much and smoke to many Kools lol but i love them and they will be family soon. My man said that they are crazy..to me they arent though…

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Yeah, I agree with Landon (partly). I believe in-laws should get along. Our family reunions are so big b/c not only is it (for example) my cousin and HER family, but also her husband’s brother and sister, and their parents. It makes things like holidays so much easier. No need to choose which family you’ll spend them with b/c its all just one big family. I hope to have that when I get married.

Now I disagree with the whole – “want to have finances in place so I can support my family” thing. Yeah, you wanna have something to bring to the table, but I don’t understand why men think they have to have EVERYTHING before they get married. You and your spouse are a team. You can build together.

I kinda want to understand the “there are things I want to do in life before I get married” thing. But only kinda and that’s just b/c I’ve recently realized that Angelina Jolie is someone I really admire: she’s a wife (?), mother (biological and adoptive), travels the world, and helps people. Those are all things that I want in life, but thought that they were too contradictory to have all in one lifetime (let alone all at the same time). However, I do realize that its easier to do with Angelina Jolie money than with Yonnie3k money…but I’m working on it. Now…if only I can find my Brad Pitt. Anyone seen him?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Deesigner you are 100% right.. i feel for my kids hahaha…they will def be well rounded though just like me…when i was young my mom had me in everything!! from Soccer, baseball, ballet, modern dance, t-ball, basketball, swimming, gymnastics, softball, cheerleading, acting, modeling,community service, horse back riding, fishing, cooking, singing ect…my kids gonna do it all.

12 06 2008
Landon

WHen you avhea coupel million dollars private planes and full staff to tend to your house and children… it makes it a little easier… ya dig..

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ that video OMGGGG

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

and she blasting what is that? Tupac stopp ittt

12 06 2008
Landon

why was she blastin tupac when the COPS walked in … she gangsta! lol

12 06 2008
Landon

financial trouble is the number 1 cause of divorce, its a proven fact…

thats why i run credit checks on the women i date…

hey girl, whats your name, where you from, what you do whats your credit score.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

“Get the fuck out so i can drink my beer”! ahahah she got Colt 45 to hahahah she a G!!!!

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Not one can, but TWO cans of Colt 45.

“Sybil, can you do us a favor?”

“NO! I don’t do favors!”

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL anytime you attend a club that has a “walk it like a dog, pop, lock, and drop it or any such contest you need to be prepared those types of ghetto escapades.

My husband and I have totally different religions etc. His parents are Jesus’ best friend and they were not happy when he brought me home. We get along ok now, there is no dislike but we definitely are not “friends”. Every once in a while we bump heads but for the most part, after the first year o boiling hatred, fevered prayers, and attempts to “anoint” me with anointed oil they got a lot better.

12 06 2008
Angel30

@ Ms. Epps

No, I understand. I hated when people told me to wait, too, but I wish I had. I know that everyone is different. I really don’t think it’s a matter of maturity, though. Or even being “ready” for marriage in the sense that you know it takes work & are willing to do it. We’ll continue to grow & evolve as people (hopefully) for the rest of our lives, but it seems like the change is sooo big from 20s to probably mid 30s. You sound like you have everything together & know who you are NOW, but you’ll be a much different person at 30 or 35. Sure, you’ll change from 30 to 40, but I don’t think the change will be as drastic. Of course, your life is already on the path you want it to go (engaged, you & your fiance living together?, etc), so I know that nothing anyone says here will cause you to change that. I just felt compelled to put that on your mind, not for you to doubt yourself or your relationship (of course you won’t from what I say ‘cuz you don’t know me from Adam), but just to prepare you for how your mind, hopes, dreams, desires & goals will continue to change – as well as your husbands. Some people are fortunate enough to be able to grow together & stay on the same path. Nowadays, too many people give up too early in this quick fix, instant gratification society. Again, as a woman who’s been there & done that, just wanted to provide some insight. Peace & many blessings to you & your family.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LMAO at that video… she listening to America’s most wanted! LMAO Hell I think that’s my aunty!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahha@ Shay -“anoint” me with anointed oil they got a lot better…thank god both side of our family arent very religious.. well my grandma is but she isnt the type to force religion on anyone.. I belive in god but i have my own beliefs of what god is…I’m more spiritual than religious 🙂

12 06 2008
Dustin

I’ll comment on the post now:

I hate books. I read a really good book this weekend and couldn’t put it down. By the time I was done Sunday evening, I realized that I had sat on my ass for two days, neglecting the hotness-inducing and character-building activites that I had planned like taking Drake (my chiweenie) for a hike and going to Body Pump (my favorite class at the gym).

Had this book been a movie, it would have taken two hours, not two days. I’d much rather stare at pretty people for two hours than spend two days awkwardly turning pages and eating (reduced sugar, egg white, applesauce) cupcakes. (Fuck you, Bertha!)

“Television is like a book that talks!” – Phil’s dad on Phil of The Future. (I love the Disney Channel.)

12 06 2008
Single Black Male

I know I’m gonna catch it for saying this … but the book is almost always better than the movie (didn’t watch or read Geisha girls though … why would I).

The book actually contains thoughts of the characters, more details, and a lot more character and plot development. Hell … even books based on a movie (where the movie came first) are usually better than the movie.

Besides … how else am I gonna fit “dichotomy” into conversation with my friends.

12 06 2008
Landon

I be damn if someone starts throwing some OIL on me talking about REBUKE THE DEVIL!

12 06 2008
Knatural

AAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAH @ THAT VIDEO! ::Ain’t Nothing But A Gangsta Party, nothing but a gangsta party, nothing but a muthafucking gangsta party:: Tomorrow’s the anniversary of Tupac’s ‘assassination’, too. Why’d the camera man have to pan over to the ‘Africans’ poster and zoom in so tight on her face, though. Her name would be Cybil!

12 06 2008
Landon

I was waiting for cybil to pull out the straight blade like Harlem Nights talking about… Now i gots to CUT ya!

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

chiweenie?

12 06 2008
Knatural

Dustin! I am so angry that our inner-fat girls share the same name. I hate you. My Bertha was in rare form yesterday – I had pizza and a taco for lunch, and just french fries w/ketchup for dinner. Bertha is such an unhealthy pig-whore.

12 06 2008
Landon

Chiwinie???

12 06 2008
Knatural

Chihuahua Dachsund (weenie dog) mix. In other words, gay.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Yeah it was a harrowing experience. I went to their church once when I was pregnant with my daughter. I hadn’t been to a church in like 10 years so It was my first time at a “mega church”. . Well they sang some song about victory for 15 minutes and then some woman started running down the aisle and scared the shit out of me. By the time they got to the trumpet solo I had broken out in hives and had to leave…for real! His mother told him that was a sign that I was the devil! LMAO but that was a looong time ago. WE made it through and we are just as strong as ever.
Oh and Landon you are right Finances are a major issue. My husband and I made it through all of that but the hardest time we ever experienced was right after we purchased our home. We exhausted our funds on the down payment and did not anticipate a lot of the other cost like blinds, for the 1000 windows that we had the difference in cost to heat a 900 sq ft apt vs. a 2000 sq foot home with lots of windows and 5 doors, plus a baby. It was tough but If I could tell you one thing, communication is key. Kenny Rogers said it best…You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run… . That’s marriage in a nutshell!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angel30-Thank you for you insight and blessing. I greatly apperciated it. I will take what you said and remember. I actually love hearing other peoples personal opinions about a big step like marriage. I totally agree and get were you coming from about the changes i will go throw from 20-30. I know things will change for me and my hubby 🙂 BUt I am willing to take the chance and go down the yellow brick road with him and face all the challenges I know we will have. Yes we live together.. and just from that I have learned even more about myself and him. This will be the second time I lived with one of my “boyfriends” the 1st time is a long story hahaha, but lets just say i learned from it and now make better desicions 🙂 but its all apart growing up…Even thought my fiance is 5 yrs older than me he has grown to be a better adult because of me. Makes me happy! I want to be like my grandmother.. her and my grandfather got married young around the age of 18 and 19 had 5 children and were married for 50+ yrs until my grandfather passed away 10 yrs ago this july… But they had their ups and downs they laughed ,yelled and cried. They were happy ass hell.. Even thought I know things are diff from when they got married back in the day.. I want to do the same.. I plan on get married once and thats it for me but you gotta prepare yourself for the worst.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Chiweenie?!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i thought i was the only one who noticed the african poster zoom LOL looked like the poster for Roots lol

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL@ Landon. NO she didn’t throw it on me. She tried to be slick. I had an earache and I was on my way to the doctor. She was going to keep my daughter while I was gone so I was dropping her off. She told me you probably need to put some of this oil in your ear with a cotton ball until you get to the doctor. So she goes to get it and hands me this brown bottle with out a label. I was like what is this…. she was already putting it on her fingertips talking about… “dab a little on your forehead too”…. I moved back and was like what kind of oil is this…. she was like oh nothing but a little anointed oil. I told her.. Uh yeah, I am sooo straight on that. I will wait and get something prescribed.

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

Yeah, I know religion is going to be an issue for me whenever I meet my potential wife. See, I grew up as a Pastor’s kid, but the hypocrisy and general assholiness of ‘church folk’ have really turned me off over the years. I do attend church from time to time at a large, contemporary-style church where I prefer the anonymity (Being “The Reverend’s son”, people are always trying to get in your business) and lack of antiquated traditions. However, I’m not one to speak in absolutes, so I am a bit conflicted when folks go on and on about “what the bible say” or “what my Pastor told me”. My brother was so turned off of it that he’s an avowed agnostic now.

So basically, my patience for folks throwing holy water and annointing me with oil and prayer cloths or telling me I’m going to hell because “I ain’t never spoke in tongues” is pretty low.

12 06 2008
Landon

she most likley rubbed that bake chicken down with it before she seasoned it… lol

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Shay-Oh and Landon you are right Finances are a major issue. My husband and I made it through all of that but the hardest time we ever experienced was right after we purchased our home. We exhausted our funds on the down payment and did not anticipate a lot of the other cost like blinds, for the 1000 windows that we had the difference in cost to heat a 900 sq ft apt vs. a 2000 sq foot home with lots of windows and 5 doors, plus a baby. It was tough but If I could tell you one thing, communication is key. Kenny Rogers said it best…You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run… . That’s marriage in a nutshell!

girllll thats what we are doing now!! we just got our house in January..and shit is nuts around her…i swear i feel liek we are paying bills every other day hahah…we have to get new bilds too because our dog fucked up the ones in the kitchen tryna look out the window and tore em down fuckin mutt!!…we gotta do some landscaping in the front lawn because we have FERN out there not grass hahah look like a damn swamp lol…the grass in the back grows like crazy every 3 days lol..we have to get a fence up…i want to start painting because i hate white walls…and we have to get a kid bed for his daughters room which as of now is the gym lol

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

thats should be HERE and BLINDS lol

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Umm.. lets not talk about landscaping. I live in Memphis and I have a fucking bamboo garden in the back that is damn near 8 feet tall cause the ass hole that lived here before wanted to grow a japanese serenity garden and never finished it. Every day there is something new..

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Rev Leon,
I’d like to invite you to my church in the West End – and anyone else in the ATL for that matter. Its made just for people like me and you. Come as you are – I’ve never seen my pastor in a suit. He’s the only pastor that quotes, Jill Scott (living my life like it’s golden), Jesus, and Kanye West in the same sermon (“salt of the earth…Kanye would say you need some Lawry’s in your life”). I’ve never considered myself “church folk,” but I started going here about a year and a half ago and I love it.

http://www.impactdoingchurchdifferently.org/

12 06 2008
Landon

not a bamboo garden…

feel bad for yoru kids, talk about an ass whopping!!!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOl@ 8 feet tall bambo..damn….man the dude that lived here before us rolleyes…liek he left the hosue in pretty good condition and all but foreal..did he actually live here with not grass in the front lawn.. its like that scene in SuperStar..the grandma’s house with nothing but mud in the front lol with one bush in the front that is dead and i had to spend three days tryna dig that shit up…ahh..and all this damn rain killed my flowers too im pissed…I htink i will just put some rose bushes in the front and call it a damn day… but i find it hilarious how my man got all his grandmother’s stuff after she died and never unpacked the shit at the old apartment…we got stuff that i didnt even know we had like a full 2 sets of wine glasses, pots and pans, to much silver ware…these little crystal candy dishes.. we got a rack of shit..sure mad decorating easier cuz grandma had some taste..she wasnt a plastic on the couch type thank god!

12 06 2008
Vanita

Ok, To comment on the post – Im an avid reader and books are ALWAYS better than the movies in my eyes. I dont even like goin to the movies because these bs actors turned directors/producers f*ck the whole experience up. But I must say, I LOVED Narnia in the Theater, it was EVERYTHING I imagined as a kid and then more. Actually I rented it on DVD. And Ill rent King Caspian too. I’d rather waste my weekend with a book any time than a stinking ass, cold ass, dirty ass theater with bad ass lil kids and teenagers runnin around, cursing just to curse, and just being hot in the ass. (LMAO)

The Da Vinci Code was an OK book, but I really LOVED Angels and Demons by dan brown. And that could be because I read the book while I was in Italy, so it made it easy to relate.

I should SMACK whom ever plans to make ‘the coldest winter ever’ in to a movie. Whoever plays in it should be ashamed, and their careers as actors/actresses should be shot to hell.

Lastly, I think I might really admire esquire…dont u wanna be my mentor 🙂

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

@ Yonnie:

Thank you! I’m going to try and make a visit there ASAP. It looks like a cool place and I can still get my worship on.

Right now, I go to Destiny Metro in Marietta. They’re very contemporary (one day, they did a Gospel Remake of “Just Fine” by MJB) in their worship style. It was like a breath of fresh air for this Presbyterian-raised lad. I’m extending an invitation to you as well.

12 06 2008
Vanita

*Prince Caspian…I loved those books. I think Im gonna re-read the series again…

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

that sound pretty cool Yonnie.. thats my type of church.. im not in to those passing out in the isle, atm’s in the main lobby, portraits of the pastor and his wife next to jesus store front church.. no thanks…But i do enjoy my grandma’s chuch.. The Chapel on the Walter Reed base. I attented that church from jnee high to 14. I havent attended church since… My mom wanted me to find my own faith…

12 06 2008
Angel30

Shay-d-lady, I live in Mempho too! And your mother-in-law is a trip – she’s real slick! Too funny.

12 06 2008
Omar

Coldest Winter Ever could be the first time the movie ends up better than the book. I’m just glad she gets caught in the end I’m tired of ghetto ass books and movies and rappers acting like everything will be ok. NO YOU DUMB ASS WILL END UP DEAD OR IN JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Rev – Thanks for the invite. Hit me up through the SBPH facebook group (btw, when are you too old for that?) so I can know when you’re coming and vice versa.

On Easter we had a rock concert b/c “Jesus is the Ultimate Rock Star.” The live band played Party Like a Rock Star – but the words were Jesus Is a Rock Star. There was a Jesus Rocks dance too.

Yeah

12 06 2008
Omar

@Ethel – not to mention the fact that the chic playing the Geisha wasn’t even Japanese, first a white Cleopatra now this, I swear I was watching the History Channel the other day and they had the nerve have an Egyptian scene where Nefertiti had FUCKING FRECKLES!!! …FRECKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Vanita – back up! Esquire and her husband are gonna hook me up with one of their single friends.

12 06 2008
JaBe

I’m glad to know that I’m not the only person who liked Juno and the music; you definitely find yourself singing along. I didn’t like it at the time I was required to read it, But I like Lord of the Flies both the book and the movie.

As for the Coldest Winter Ever, I too have read the book. Jada Pinkett-Smith bought the rights to make a film soon after the book was released. She probably realized soon after that it wouldn’t fare well at the box office. It may do better as a HBO/Showtime/Starz flick. Whatever she does, I hope she doesn’t cast herself as Winter. IMO, Taral Hicks should be cast as Winter, Jeffrey Wright as Santiago, Tasha Smith as the mother and either Lamman Rucker or Derek Luke as the guy that reappears at the end of the book. Yeah I thought about this wayyyy too much.

12 06 2008
Vanita

@ Yonnie – Girl you got it, I gots me a man (lol). Although I wouldnt mind admiring some single fine black attorneys…Im just trying to learn and be on their level!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Nefertiti had freckles..stopp itttttt…why do ppl forget that Egypt is in motha fuckin AFRICA!!! Cleopatra was BLACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK not some crazy ass Michael Jacksons wanna be mother Liz Taylor…only thing i like about Taylor is White Diamonds hahaha

12 06 2008
Knatural

Um, Omar, fair-skin coloreds can have freckles. It’s possible. Actually, darker-skinned can have ’em, too. I’m brown like Kerry Washington and have freckles on my hands. I saw that same History channel thing (nerd), and i annoyed that ‘Nefertiti’ was so short. I envisioned her taller…oh well.
Regarding Memoirs of a Geisha: their was a lil controversy because all but one or two of the main characthers were played by Chinese actors. Just like when Selena was played by a freakin’ Peeter Reekan.

12 06 2008
klysha

“The best part about shutting the fuck up is that it’s way easier than not shutting the fuck up. Here’s the process involved in shutting the fuck up:

1. Think of something to say
2. Don’t say it
3. Repeat

This three-step method may be a little difficult for some hipsters to grasp, so I’ve developed an alternative one-step method for the more simple minded:

1. Kill yourself ”

LMFAO!!! I literally laughed out loud at this and I am in a cubicle in a very quiet office. I can officially no longer read this blog during working hours. I give myself away every time…..

http://www.mysixcent.wordpress.com

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

My Mom has freckles on her cheeks i think its cute she hates them..i also have freckles on my hands lol…

i still laugh when you spell Puerto Rican-Peeter Reekan Knat…

off topic.. but does anyone watch GhostHunters on Sci-Fi?

12 06 2008
Esquire

Landon,

Sorry I couldnt respond earlier, the MAN is killing me today. I cant sneak in the blog as oft as I like.

I agree with you whole heartedly that the families should get along. However, I think where we either disagree or are comparing apples to oranges (not sure which one since chatting on a blog is hella difficult) is that the spouse must pass the parents test.

My issue is not that you should disrespect your mom, but I do not think that Mothers (who are worse than fathers) should have the final say on their children’s mates. This may not apply to you AT ALL or your mother. But it does apply to men who are like…If my mama dont like her she aint for me. I would just like those men to step back and evaluate what thier MOTHER is doing.

If mom is legit on not wanting you to bring home an ex-convict video hoe…coooool. If mom has a problem with every woman you bring home. Maybe that mom is being a tad bit judgmental, harsh, or simply outrageous. I dont believe in parents who cant let go of thier “babies” enough to accept someone who they love and MIGHT just be an awesome person for thier child.

Your wife takes on your last name and becomes a part of your family, BUT you also become a part of hers. Her people should not have you jumping thru hoops or doing ridiculous things to impress or win thier acceptance. Once you get married, there HAS to be a merging of the two families or you will be constantly fighting over where you spent last Easter or who’s turn it is with the grandbabies. Trust me on that one.

There is nothing wrong with giving a high value to your mothers opinion, but I hope you give the same value to your fathers opinion. Is he as protective? I personally cant stand to see a black mama trashing a black female as not good enough for her son. I mean, the girl could be sweet, have a JD, and not be after her son’s money (if he even has any). You know there’s an issue with mom if SHES the only one who DOESNT like the girl. I just think its sad that men will dump a girl because mommy has a problem with her that she cant even name.

Now, like I said, I dont know you or your mother. And I doubt (hopefully) she is that much of an ICE QUEEN to everyone. There aint no reason to be rude to someone dating your son. It aint cute, and it aint cool. And eventually the only one who will want your son is you…which is how some moms want it.

BTW: you are wrong for using that USHER example. lol fight fair, dont use extremes. And plus, we dont know the truth…his wife might just be all that.

All that being said. A marriage is about the coming together of two people to establish thier own family. I love my mother in law, but she know not to be all up in OUR business. My mother stays the hell out of our way as well. I say that to bring up the point that if one is so dependent on thier family’s opinion of ANYTHING, your marriage is in trouble before it begins. And we ALLLL know families will rip someone’s marriage to shreds.

12 06 2008
Esquire

DAMN, Sorry yall, I did not know that post was that long. I am banning myself before Chris does.

12 06 2008
klysha

I’m with Knatural on the freckles on Nefertiti Omar. Granted I didn’t see the movie so I don’t know how realistic she looked. But I’m a slightly fair skinned colored folk and I have quite a few freckles and so do many members of my family and I’ve even seen freckles on darker skinned black people.

12 06 2008
Omar

I’m personally happy for Mrs. Epps, love is love if you want to get married go for it, I got married on my 24th birthday and people said I was too young. I’m tired of people keep pushing back the age that you should grow up and be an adult, “30 is th new 20” mofos still trying find themselves at 40, brothas like R. Kelly still got cornrows dude gotta be like 50 and them young ass girls aren’t making him any younger. If I hear another old ass man using slang that his gradchildren should be using, somebody’s getting hurt. People should be expected to be mature at 18, when I was 18 I had 3 jobs and I worked 2 jobs most of the time that I was in college and I am better for it.

12 06 2008
Sister Toldja

FUCKING HIPSTERS!!! DIE DIE DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! Ugh! And I am in a coffee shop populated by them as we speak. I hate them with every hating ventricle and artery of my hating heart. “Look, I’m so deep and dirty and poor, with my $1,200 computer and fucktard American Apparel clothes styled to look EXACTLY like someone’s half- senile fucking grandmother in Boca! I’m so hip, cause I live in the ghetto and ride my bike and I have a visor and I dont wear a bra and I have holey clothes and a trust fund and an odor.” FUCK! I HATE THEM! And these devils have crossed over from Williamsburg (also known as the 3rd level of Hell) to Bed Stuy. I am going to join a gang and kill them all.

12 06 2008
Knatural

MARRIAGE SUCKS, DON’T DO IT!!

12 06 2008
Sylph

ST, it’s gonna be so much worse once Real World: Williamsburg airs.

Brooklyn doesn’t want y’all. Step the fuck back.

12 06 2008
A.K.

who hell reads? tv and movies are like reading but faster and better since they show you what’s going on.

12 06 2008
shabooty

ooo the next real world’s gonna be in the artsy fartsy section of BKNY?

nice lol…..

12 06 2008
Esquire

Sister…what in the HELL kind of gang would you join?

Be quiet Knatural…you know you loooove it.

12 06 2008
Omar

Ok, I’m sorry I but they showed her as a white woman with freckles and she may have had red hair under the headdress. Most Egyptians during her time period were darker africans not like blue black but they described themselves as dark in pictures and writing. The mixing came later when Greeks, romans and different groups of Arabs ran through there. I’m also not sure freckles are inherently African I think a lot of people get them from someone in their ancestry being mixed with Europeans.

12 06 2008
Omar

@ A.K. – I’m mad as hell you said because I have a student that I tutor and I can’t get him to read with the Jaws of Life. one time I told him that you have to read to learn stuff this little niglet told me that if he needs to learn something he can watch a video about it…ARRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That shit frustrated the hell out of me.

ST – you damn right and why the hell YT like to move places and compain about shit that has been there for generations. If you don’t like it don’t FUCKING MOVE THERE!!!

12 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Can we add Omar Tyree’s “Fly Girl” to the reasons that Hood Lit was born? I loved that book in 7th grade, but I know it is part of the reason for the Nigglature Season.

Black lit (AKA books for Black women, because Black men don’t read these books hardly, I think they read more history, non-fiction and/or absofuckingloutely nothing) has been on a decline for a while. But at least in the early 90s, it was more of that “Meet Shaniqua Jenkins. She is a high-powered attorney with a closet of red Chanel suits, a perfect French roll and a BMW. She is classy. Now all she needs is to find her a man.” Very contrived and overreliant on the uber-successful Black professional and sophmoric plots….but I rather embrace the red-suit wearing sister executive than the “Meet LaShaTenQuaniqua LaJenkins. She has a fat booty, some juicy lips and a taste for dick and dollars” bullshit the kids (and women) are reading today.

I also hate when people use street lit as their reason for “not reading Black books”, as if that is as far as out literary canon goes.

12 06 2008
Knatural

Oh. No. The Real World: Brooklyn. Stop.
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH @ French rolls! I say a lady on the train with a french roll the other day. I wanted to punch her in the neck.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I love you ESQUIRE DAMMIT!!!

Omar thanks man.. like i get whta ppl are trying to say that i have my whole life to get married but just as Landon i have a timeline for myself…but my timeline changed and im ok with that.. like i said i would buy my 1st house when i was 24..well im 20 and got that.. i said i would get married at 25 and start having children well im getting married next yr i’ll 21 thats still cool and i still plan on having kids at 25…like people have to realize just because you are “older” and get married doesnt make marriage any easier..I get married next yr and then get divorced..the same shit could happen if i get married at 30…you cant put a age on love. The 1st time i feel in love real hard was when i was 17 turning 18 with my ex…he wanted to get married even proposed…i said no because i had so much more i wanted to do in my life…he cheated we ad a messy break up..turned to my friend for help now he is my fiance the love of my life that i’ve been waiting for..I feel in love with him even before i came back to MD…the lord works in mysterious ways…go figure!

I cant stand those old ass niggas still tryna act like they are 21…my ex was like that he was 32 now still acts the same according to his sister who happens to be a very close friend of mine..its funny how the whole time she told me he was a bitch ass nigga too hahah…

12 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Sylph- They made their choice? I heard it was between Williamsburg and Ft. Greene. Ft Green is way too cool for that shit. Just the idea of a Brooklyn Real World sickens me, because I can only imagine the type of asshats that will come here after watching. UGH! (And no, I am not a native. But as I am cool as the fuck, I contribute to the local culture of my new home. unlike these hipster leeches who suck it dry.

Esquire- It would have to be the Bloods. They run my block, plus they gave me my ‘hood pass’.

12 06 2008
Knatural

Why hasn’t The Real World come to DC? Seriously, four times in California, three times in New York, fucking Denver? They could put those kids in Georetown, or Dupont, some “nice”, White, douchey part of town, I won’t bother them.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

french rolls…smh my mom use to rock that back in the day..and had her a red-suit with red pumps she was hottttttt

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hhaha A Real World DC would be sweet…

12 06 2008
Esquire

oh my. They are hardcore. I am scared for you Sister.

I love you too Mrs. Epps. Im my head we have a SBPH family reunion and you and I are cracking open beers. Sister is complaining because the men only brough meat to the cookout. And Muse is skee-weeing all over the place.

I wish the Real World and all the casts after Season 3 would go to Hell. Film it down there.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

ST – exactly what do you have to do to get a hood pass from the bloods?

12 06 2008
shabooty

cause DC sucks 🙂

12 06 2008
Landon

Ok i think you took a little to far on how much my mom and dad chime in…

Hell my parents and my dad of all people who got married at 40… have been pressuring me to slow down and get serious about dating and so on… I am my mom’s only blood so i know she wants grand kids with her DNA… eventhough she loves my brothers kids 1000% My parents word is not he end all be all. They wouldnt say drop the girl… But they would voice their converns. My parents trust my taste but they also know like any person, I make mistakes. Seeing how i know NOTHING about marriage, i would listen to what they had to say. Just as i would talk to my Brother and Dad if i thought i was ready to pop the question.

My brother’s wife family gets ALONG great with my parents and it makes things so much easier. I also had a God-Father who has been divorced twice and i have seen what choosen the wrong woman can do to a MAN…

Something i believe is that woman seek love (social pressure), but when a man Truly loves a woman there is nothing stronger… hence why men go CRAZY a la OJ when things go wrong. I just want to be happy and fulfilled like my parents. SO i can go out on my own and beat my on path… or i can listen to those who have gone before me and learn from their experiences. Because at the end of the day i be damn IF I AM GIVING UP HALF… YOu better be like Ana Mae and just take your name… 🙂

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Hell yea Esquire.. and Knat and Dustin’s inner fat girls would eat all the cake lol…

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Ahhhh……another oft quoted movie…”WHAT!!! YOU TRYNA HELP IKE??!!”

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon aww you are your moms only blood..me too..only child..for the record i wasnt spoiled either i wish…wait no i dont then i would know the value of anything if i were…i have friends that never did their own laundry til college, let alone driven a car or paid a bill..shoot most my friends still live with their parents..and this is exactly why i need new friends.. me and them are on totally diff levels.. they are worried about which ex they will see at the club..im worried about what color i want to paint the kitchen.. i think im going with a light pumpkin color and white trim 🙂

12 06 2008
Knatural

Whoa whoa whoa…I am NOT bringing Bertha (pronounced Berfa) to this fantasy SBPH reunion. Shabooty, DC does suck, but so does New York, Philly, Chicago, and every other major they went to. Well, maybe DC does suck harder.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA@Yonnie, I was just quoting that movie this yesterday. I hate you.

“Eat the cake, Anna Mae!”

12 06 2008
Landon

Isnt the whole concept of HALF sexist and belittling of women… saying you can’t make it on your own…

Child support… i will give my child an account and a credit card… and they will be taken care of… I be damn you going to buy some Lubitons (red bottoms) while my baby is eating generic cheerieos!!! I BE DAMNED!

12 06 2008
Muse

Off topic:

I FUCKING HATE FOX NEWS. These racist fake news bastards referred to Michelle Obama as a Baby momma. Why are they spending so much time attacking her? Why not take a good look at Cindy McCain who is a druggie, stolen money, and an adulteress?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahha Landon”I’d be damned if IM givin up 1/2″ shiti me too..thats why it important to establish your own nest egg outside of the joint-nest egg..anything can happen…but say me and my hubby do get our radio station and get that multi million dollar porn company togther we splitting it only because we started it “together” now if he made it on his own..he can have all of it because he earned it..im not going to set myself up and be dependant on anyone.

12 06 2008
Landon

So dustin is a female? So confused… beyond confused…

was just day dreaming i won the Lottery, came into my office with a smoking jacket on and slippers and told my boss i quit as a smoke a cuban cigar in his face…. and just laughed HAHHAHAHAHAH…

ahhhhh that would be a way to quit a job.. 🙂

12 06 2008
Landon

Fox news called the Obama (Dap) a gangsta hand shake or a Terroist Greeting… WHAAAATTTTTTTT??????? HOw in the hell did they deduct that… how does she say that with a straight face….

I thought it wa endearing… They are really in love and care for one another. WHen she gave him that thumbs up.. i was like damn SHE LOVES THAT MAN…

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Landon, I think you might be a carrier for random conversation association disorder…LMAO

12 06 2008
Muse

I believe in prenups…I also don’t have a problem signing one either. Love is great but marriage is a business and if my husband cheats I’m GONE GONE GONE and I’m taking my assets with me.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon,I heard that… shoot thats what my man’s baby fucking mama is doing..fucking bitch…i cant stand her ignant ass and still ask him why why why didnt you just get head from her!!!! this girl is 23..still live with her mama, no job having ass always on the internet loserface! and what pisses me off even more is the fact that if she is sick not the baby she wont drive her to school she will just stay home! when ym man told me that she did that i wanted to rip her eyes out when i saw her ass! She would have the baby coming out the house in 80 degree weather with all black on long ass socks! STOP ITTTTTTT little girl on die from heat stroke! But i find it hilarious everytime i see the mom she got the latest fashions on..i fucking hate her… and to top it off she just had another baby by another dude getting money from him too SMH…

12 06 2008
Knatural
12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

dustin is a dude landon lol

12 06 2008
Muse

Mrs. Epps how do you deal with the baby momma issue? This is why I don’t deal with men with children. I want a clean start without having all the baggage of another child or another woman dictating what goes on in my household.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I FUCKING HATE FOX NEWS. These racist fake news bastards referred to Michelle Obama as a Baby momma.

YOU’RE LYING!!! Is there an article I can read b/c I seriously don’t believe you?

12 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

FUCK FOX ‘News’!

I think one of the reasons why “The Real World” hasn’t been filmed in DC yet is because of the security clearances that would be needed to be filmed in that city. Also, what neighborhood would they be able to host it in? I could see Adams-Morgan or Georgetown, or even U Street. But if they were keepin it real, they need to go film it over in SE or in Trinidad or Ivy City.

I used to want them to film in the Atlanta area, but Atlanta’s built kind of weird, so I don’t know if it would work here.

Also, the show has sucked ass for the last 5 or 6 years. They really need to let that show die quickly. This season is the first season where I actually pretty much don’t like anyone on the season, but it’s such a trainwreck, I still watch.

I went to the same school that Trishelle from RW Vegas went to, and all the YT Sorority girls HATED her. They all called her “Trashelle”, and basically called her a whore all the time.

12 06 2008
Landon

OK…. i was confused… kept talking about the inner fat girl.. but i am looking at the name…. i was just like… well ok… i guess it liek Toni maybe… thank ya…

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Whoa Ms. Epps.. you got pretty fired up about the Baby mamma drama.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL I would be a terrible baby mother. I am really controlling and I would have a stroke about some other chick dealing with my child. I hope I never have to deal with it.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I deal with it just fine as long as i get respect she can get it back.. we had our own little beef but its been squashed so its all good..I also told myself i would never deal with a man with a child…but its not as bad as people say it is…as long as you keep the comunication open between you and the mother things will be good unless she is a petty bitch and fucks up moods out of spite..thank god my “baby mama” isnt like that..we keep it classy for the childs sake..but i still dont like her..but she did give me a compliment once and that was thanks for teaching her how to read…even though i believe 5 yr olds should already know how to read before 1st grade anyways.. thats just me and how i was raised lol

but yea Muse it all depends on the baby mama.. some are still stuck on the guy and try and fuck shit up for yall…and actaully my baby mama tried to when we 1st started dating. When we would go pick his daughter up she would come to the door 1/2 naked n shit.. I wasnt having that so next time we oicked her up i walked up to the door with him and she did it again..i gave her the worst stank eyes ever and she ran back in the house.. ahah

12 06 2008
Landon

I was thinking about survior but instead of a remote location they should have it in Gary, Indiana… They just just blind fold them and leave them on a corner of Gary and they have to survive a month….

Now thats reality TV!

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Muse, I’m sorry I doubted you I apologize.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol but its true Shay..she is wackkK!!

Landon you are still confused arent you? lol

12 06 2008
Landon

yup

12 06 2008
Knatural

What in the bloody hell is wrong with Michelle Malkin. As a woman of color, she should be ashamed of herself. Seriously. FOX news is beyond horrible, but it is a testament to our First Amendment rights in the country *facetious tone*.
It’s not that difficult to film here in DC, so long as they avoid the National Mall and government bldgs. And even then MTV, being as all powerful as it is, could pull strings. Those kids would be partying the entire time in Adams Morgan/Georgetown/Dupont anyway. All of SE ain’t bad, please don’t get me started. I’ve argued with too many cab drivers about my address.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Obama’s baby mama? WOW………………………..

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

its ok Landon we all have those dazed and confused days…

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

That’s really terrible especially considering I am his baby momma! on the real.. if this presidential campaign has proved 1 thing its that racism is still alive and kicking!

12 06 2008
Merri Lee


Muse (19:04:20) :

Off topic:

I FUCKING HATE FOX NEWS. These racist fake news bastards referred to Michelle Obama as a Baby momma. Why are they spending so much time attacking her? Why not take a good look at Cindy McCain who is a druggie, stolen money, and an adulteress?

*Raises Muse’s blood pressure 10 points*

12 06 2008
Muse

Mrs. Epps, why would I want to deal with someone else’s child? I had a stepmother who treated me like shit. I’m a nice person but I want to run my household with my husband without some other broad playing interference. I really do admire you because it takes a special person to be a stepmother. Also when I have my own children how will that work out with the kid who is already there? What if I have to discipline my child and step kid for misbehaving? Do I have to punish my kid then wait until my husband gets home to discipline the stepchild? I also want ALL my money to stay in my household. You know legally if your husband can’t pay child support, the courts can take the money out of your paycheck. Life is complicated enough without all the extra shit.

12 06 2008
Landon

I feel bad about this but i wont date a young lady with children… is that wrong?

12 06 2008
B4Prez

@MrsEpps : You’ll better go on Maury! And you better act like you don’t have no home trainin’…u know…make us proud, lol.

@Landon: Couldn’t agree more…fuk a child support order! I’ll keep my own shit in order so that I can support my child.

N fuk Real World while we’re at it….and those ghetto ass books I see every chickenhead on the train reading.

12 06 2008
Merri Lee


Landon (19:37:51) :

I feel bad about this but i wont date a young lady with children… is that wrong?

No. You have the right to date who ever the hell you want.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Landon you are not wrong, its a lot of drama and I can understand why it would be an issue.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I can understand not wanting to date someone who already has kids – but my dad had a son when my parents married. He was 14 when he came to live with us (I was 3) and I don’t think any of us can imagine life without the other (my mom and my brother, me and my brother, my mom without her grandchildren (my brother’s kids), etc.). I think Landon eluded to the same type of family situation earlier. Sorry your stepmonster treated you like that Muse, but it doesn’t gotta be’s that way.

12 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Yonnie- basically in the 10 months (actually only 6 on their half of the block) I’ve lived on my street, I have yet to “snitch” on any one or complain about the loud music and constant partying. Even though I have college tags on my car, I’m not too bougie to speak and smile at the menfolk when they try to holler and I clean up the bottle bags in front of my house without moaning. My landlord/homie, who looks like she could be my sister, did get into it with them sorta when she bought the house a few years back, so I think they were waiting for me to do the same. Nope, I try to avoid getting my car and home broken in to and besides, they were there before me and I haven’t really seen them do anything crazy nor really disrespect me.

One of the OGs approached me and let me know that I am “cool with them” (he said this about 12 times) and that he wanted me to know that, and that I am welcome to attend any BBQs or parties on the block, as well as being free to join them on the stoop when they are hanging out.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Landon, its not wrong. I feel the same way. But the older we get, the more difficult it will be to stick to that rule. Especially if you are a black woman. You know the ratio is skewed in your favor.

12 06 2008
Landon

the funny thing is my Dad raised my brother, so we grew up together.

not sure why i have an issue with raising another person child. i guess i dont want to be that step parent who treats his blood differently then their step child. Because i think thats wrong… Because everytime that child does something wrong i can see me looking at my girl… see thats not my blood, because blood wouldnt do that… And thats not right…

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Fox News Link http://yourblackworld.com/news/stories2/michelle_obama_baby_mama.jpg

Esquire – I’ll pull up to the reunion with my Red Suit, Louboutin’s, and French Roll.

and about that not getting 1/2 nonsense. What about a woman who carries, delivers and rears your children? or Throws boring assed dinner parties for your geek-y Nasa colleagues so that you can get that big promotion, or help to write your dissertation so that you can graduate or any of the inumerable ways that women contribute to their husbands success.
You gotta be a damn fool to be in a marriage, give it your all and leave with less that your partner. You can have your name, but I want my money.

Furthermore men who have babies with trifling women get what they deserve. Make better choices about who you procreate with. Same goes for women.

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

Also, the baby mama thing can eff you up. My cousin recently died unexpectedly. He was married with kids, but had older kids from his baby mama. Wifey and bay mama were “friends” until he died, when wifey tried to keep the entire estate away from his other kids. They’re still in court (he’s been dead 3 yrs) but she can legally disinherit them, but his estate must pay child support. I’m glad they’re out of state – both baby mama and wifey are suing my aunt’s ex-husband, who is actually the legal owner of my late cousin’s house and cars, even though he hasn’t tried to take them back. Ugh.

12 06 2008
Dustin

I am a man.

A chiweenie, as Knat pointed out, is a Chihuahua/Dachshund mix.

I don’t like children.

12 06 2008
Landon

One Designer – i Doutb you could cook better than me… so i think i would be whipping on that dinner…

I want custody of my children, *BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY* if i have to drop some crack crills in yoru glove compartment and let the cops know about it, i will do what i have to do to make sure my children are with their father…

of course this all goes out the window if i hit it big and marry someone rich….

I WANT HALF, lol… joking… i understand things should be split up… but i be damn you goin gto be living better than me after we split up… so back to plan A… excuse me officers, yeah i saw miss desinger put some crack in her car… yeah… i think she is going to smoke in front of her children…. please coem quick.

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

A side note for the “Real World.” Forget DC or any other big city, I want some real drama in a small assed town in the middle of nowhere. Real World – Soldotna, AK.

12 06 2008
Landon

Gary Indiana… it would be exciting.!

12 06 2008
Knatural

Oh. No. Merri Lee, that Hannity Colmes conversation has truly upset me. Thanks.

12 06 2008
puff

i hate fox news. i bet that shit came out of motherfucking bill o’reilly’s mouth too, goddamn cracker. icing on a fucking shitty day.

12 06 2008
puff

damn bill o’reilly and his posse of crackers.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Landon – CRACK CRILLS ??

I appreciate your fervor. You are now officially my internet ex-husband.

12 06 2008
Landon

🙂

my divorce lawyer will destroy you!!!!

12 06 2008
Landon

war of the Roses (great movie)

12 06 2008
Deesigner

War of the Roses was one of my favorites. They take revenge to a whole ‘nother level, and Thin Line between Love and Hate with Lynn whatshername.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

I’m going to get Esquire to represent me, your going down!

12 06 2008
B4Prez

O…and fuk Fox news!

Sorry, I’m having a bad day.

12 06 2008
Knatural

hahaha @ Faux News. Bastards.

12 06 2008
Landon

Lionel Riches Ex Wife Divorce Lawyer will rep me…. he took the man who SANG HELLOOOOo am i who you looking for… for a whole lotta cheese…. You going down…. he wasnt dancing on no ceilings after lawyer got done with him…

12 06 2008
The Doc Is In

” Yonnie3k (19:44:37) :

Landon, its not wrong. I feel the same way. But the older we get, the more difficult it will be to stick to that rule. Especially if you are a black woman. You know the ratio is skewed in your favor.”

Soooo true!! It sucks how whenever I say I don’t want to date a man with kids, I basically get the look “well you’re gonna be single forever”…ugh. Maybe things will change as I get older, but I just don’t need that type of complication in my life now. It’s also a bit of a catch-22: if he doesn’t have custody a lot, it would be easier for us, but I just don’t know how I would feel about a person that has offspring and isn’t regularly involved in their life; but if he has most/sole custody, it would be difficult figuring out how to fit in that child’s life especially when I know I’m not a place right now where I want kids to be playing a major role.

Anyhoo, I slid in kinda late today, how’s everyone doing?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Muse-Mrs. Epps, why would I want to deal with someone else’s child? I had a stepmother who treated me like shit. I’m a nice person but I want to run my household with my husband without some other broad playing interference. I really do admire you because it takes a special person to be a stepmother. Also when I have my own children how will that work out with the kid who is already there? What if I have to discipline my child and step kid for misbehaving? Do I have to punish my kid then wait until my husband gets home to discipline the stepchild? I also want ALL my money to stay in my household. You know legally if your husband can’t pay child support, the courts can take the money out of your paycheck. Life is complicated enough without all the extra shit.

I understand…and damn your right it takes a special person to take the job as step-mom or dad…as for discipline..she has given me the right to keep her daughter in check while she is in our house. So thats squashed. I mean i wont hit her child never that but i will surely put her ass in time out when she acts up and so far thats been working well.. she hates having to sit in an empty froom for 7 minutes hahah..as for the child support… yea that shit is a bummer because we sure could use the 700 a month check he writes…and thank god he makes enough money for it cuz i’d be damned if that women get my hard earned money!

Landon aint no shame in not wanting to date a women with children.. it aint for everyone thats for sure…but i give big ups to my step dad…because my biological father aint shit…lol

12 06 2008
Angry IV

The last figure is my favorite…gotta love the steaming hot cup of fresh brewed, foreign imported shut the fuck up 🙂

12 06 2008
Landon

AS a man… how do you look your self in the mirror, when you have child out there you are not taking care of and being a FATHER TOO…?

As black men we pride our selves about being tough and not going a punk but to me a PUNK is someone who dodges their responsability…

its like SNITCHING… you don’t want to do the time so you rat our someone else…

YOu dont want to take care of yoru child , so you put it on someone else… Because of there lack of fathership there is a high poisibility their lil nigglet listens to too much rap music and will try to rob me… NOT COOl!

12 06 2008
Landon

that was not even english… sorry

12 06 2008
The Doc Is In

LOL, the point was very well made though, Preach Brother Landon!!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

As of right now..my man has weekend visits which sucks because the child loves being over here.. last weekend she was crying her eyes out because she didnt want to go back home…poor thing.. but they are suppose to be having a child support hearing soon and he wants to get full custody..because he thinks that the environment in our home will be more healthy for her.. Sh ewould have a father and a step-mother who both work and can provide for her..it would mos def be a diff household if this happens…no more late night drinking haha but thats all good…

12 06 2008
WargodPR1

Hey I read comic books and they don’t apply…LOL though you’re right. I read a lot of different books and for the most part movies arent as good, but if the movie is good then its not even worth comparing to the book. The only real problem I have is the fact that movies change said books for dramatic affect and often lose the very essence of the book. I give you the Count of Monte Cristo (remake)…great book, decent movie…

As to comic book changeovers all I have to say is that DC’s movies are often better developed (aside from the xtra batman movies and Superman 4) than the crappy as hell Marvel movies (I dont need to go into the Spiderman venue nor the X-men to prove my point). The difference with those is that far too often in the Marvel movies its all about the characters that are most popular than the essence of the character they’ve originally given us…
case in point Spider-man is a wise cracking, ass kicking super-hero who has issues…
The guy who played Spiderman couldnt tell a funny joke to save his life…even if the joke is funny. Besides the fact that of his history and all of that, poetic license was horrible.

At any rate, all that I mean to say is that you are right…LOL

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon that was perfect english to me lol…i can dig it.. personally dudes that walk around hard all the time is covering up some bitchassness anyways.. who quoted Kat Williams yesterday?

“You gangbangin on bacon nigga”!

hahaha I ❤ Katt Williams

12 06 2008
Landon

you angry at breakfast nigga!

12 06 2008
Monie

Why is it that comic books are mentioned in the comments everyday on this blog? (scratching head) Lol

12 06 2008
Knatural

THANK YOU Wargod! DC comics are better movies, Marvel has more characters, but their movies generally suck. I hope the new Hulk is good. Ironman was great. (nerd) When will they make Wonder Woman???!!!???
My two cents about dating folks with kids: The odds are slimmer and slimmer that you’ll encounter a childless potential spouse. Especially if you’re over 25. But, it’s possible. Neither me nor my other half had children. Kids from previous relationships do compound existing issues between man and woman, depending on the age of the child, why throw in a baby momma/fahva if you can help it. To each his own.

12 06 2008
Knatural

“Why is it that comic books are mentioned in the comments everyday on this blog?”

Because they’re great.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I wlll say this as a future step-mom that hardest thing to do is keep your mouth shut when it comes to telling your man how to raise their children LOL…big no no!! MAJOR NO NO!!! ok i wouldnt say that i dictating to him what he need to do with his daughter to help her learn and survive in the world when she gets older..it was more like suggesting :-D… Last weekend when she was over she wanted to play with her 100 piece Beauty and The Beast puzzle…we probably have done this puzzle 5 million times since we moved here and i seriously didnt want to do it with her. So I handed it to her and said I wont help you this time and I know you can do it and walked away and started washing dishes…so then she calls me over and was like “I cant do this.. its to hard” I told her the word “cant” shouldnt be in your vocabualry, you can do anything you want as long as you work at it. My man heard this convo btw and then proceeded to walk over sit down and start helping her. In my head i was syaing “WTFFF NOOOOOO” so i quitly walk over and tell him i had to talk to him… he gets up and automaticlly start shaking my head and said “What are you doing.. you defeting the purpose of what I’m trying to teach her”…he was like ” What are you talking about i wanted to help her” so i go ” ok thats fine and dandy but she needs to learn how to do stuff on her own now because when she gets older she is going to depend on everyone else but her self to do shit”. HE BLOWS UP ON ME!!! i kinda expected that.. but my question is is what i did wrong???

12 06 2008
Landon

I never understood the whole having kids thing in college or when really young… maybe because the sex ed videos showing STDs when i was kid scarred the living be-JESUS out of me….. wrapping it up was not an option it was mandatory… i would be damn my stuff down there was going to look like it had cauliflower growing down there…

12 06 2008
Monie

Knatural,

Well maybe I’ll actually read one (comic book) one day. Do they have comic books with Black super hero’s? Black women super hero’s?

I assume Storm is a Black super hero because Halle played her.

12 06 2008
Knatural

Mrs. Epps – you were right (based on what you told us). That little brat needs to learn some independence.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I think its easier if the child is younger like toddler-5..then the transition of step-mother/father is smoother.. when they kid is 10,11 or 12 its harder..When my mom married my step-dad when i was 11 i was pissssssedddddd to no end. I was the evil step-daughter til about 14 or 15 lol I did some pretty fucked up shit to my dad, like when his wedding ring woudl get to tight he would take it off and put it on the night stand i would take it and hide that bitch for like 2 months straight..my mom got so pissed at him i loved it then felt bad and put it under the couch and pretended i found it hahahha but then once i hit 11th grade he was cool as shit and still is..

12 06 2008
Landon

You told your man how to raise his CHILD….

12 06 2008
london

ooh.. thought you meant ”the bible”…
that little book combusts and turns to ashes in my hands so i have never read it funnily enough…
scrolled through so i shall go back and read comments..

12 06 2008
Monie

Mrs Epps,

I don’t think you did anything wrong. You were trying to teach her a good lesson.

Did her dad let her do it alone?

12 06 2008
Landon

yeah you did something wrong… DID YOU cook him the big piece of chicken?

12 06 2008
Knatural

Black Comic book characters?: Storm (duh), Blade, Green Lantern, Bishop (X-Men), Vixen, there’s lots.

12 06 2008
Yonnie3k

wrapping it up was not an option it was mandatory…

The pill ain’t gonna keep your DICK from falling off!!!

Ahhhh…I watch too damn much TV

12 06 2008
Monie

Knatural,

Can I buy a comic book with only Black superhero’s/ people in it?

12 06 2008
Landon

yeah boondocks:)

12 06 2008
Dustin

If a child is in my house and, more importantly, my life don’t I get a say in some things? That’s a delicate situation that has to be worked out between the three (or four, if the other parent is also remarried) adults involved.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

THANK YOU Knat thats what I say.. like i told you guys before in other post he baby’s the shit out the girl..she will never learn the values of life that way…he needs to give her space to fall and learn to pick herself up..I know thats his babygirl..but babygirl will be in 1st grade next fall she aint a baby anymore..like he wont let her got ot the park which is not even 10 feet away from our house by herself.. im like dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stopp ittt..if the girl falls of the monkey bars so be it…I cant wait til my little cousin comes to visit with my parents for the summer she just turned 5 and she is a pistol and would be a great friend for his daughter and toughen her ass up a bit.. shit when i was 5-6 i was jumping in the deep end of the pool and in the winter using a cooler as a sled almost breaking my leg in two places..shit is frustrating when you have a child that cries when she trips her ownself on the dog that is just laying there and gets mad that the dog didnt move lol..so much comedy i swear i love that child she a damn trip!!

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahah Landon!!!!!!!!!!! he always gets the big piece of chicken..i was telling him i suggesting..

and no he didnt let her do it alone he sat there for 15 minutes doing it with her@Monie

IWAS HEATED..it hink he did that just to make me even more pissed because he says i look cute when i scrunch up my face at him..NIGGGAS!!

12 06 2008
Landon

Well people… its time to get off… i need to hit the driving range and practice before i go to my poker game tonight so i am out of this MOFO…

good convo… it was not hostile…

PEACE LUV & NAPPINESS : )

12 06 2008
Muse

Monet (“M”) and Synch (who died) from Generation X, along with Joanna Cargill, who was a member of Magneto’s Acolytes

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

umm thats should be I was just suggesting not telling..even though in a man’s eyes suggestions from women is just the same as telling them.. take it how you want!

12 06 2008
Monie

Mrs Epps,

“he wont let her got ot the park which is not even 10 feet away from our house by herself..”

I used to take the city bus to school when I was 5. Lol I look back on it now and think what the heck was my mom thinking letting me take the bus to school alone at 5! Oh well, I survived.

12 06 2008
Deesigner

Mrs. Epps, what you were trying to teach her was a good lesson. Perhaps a 100 piece puzzle was a bit much for her. Maybe her dad could have supported the lesson that you were trying to teach her by encouraging her to try to guess which piece went where, but he also may have been trying to reinforce the notion that as a parent he would always be there to assist her if she needed it.
Parenting is hard. Both of you seem committed to helping your step-daughter become a responsible well adjusted young lady. You will not always agree on how this is to accomplished. The best thing to do is to let him be the dad that he needs to be to his daughter and you support his efforts. The reality is that she already has a mom and dad to help her navigate her way through life, even if you don’t agree with how they choose to do it. Your marriage will be much easier if you don’t create conflict in this area.

12 06 2008
Monie

Muse,

You just confused the heck out of me. Lol I am comic illiterate.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

that should be I’m not I carry on 😀

12 06 2008
zoso

Morgan Freeman’s been trying to turn the late Arthur C Clarke’s Rendezvous with Rama into a movie for years now. Can’t wait for it to finally debut!

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Wow, I leave to go to work and the comments BLOW UP. Why is everyone in Mrs. Epps’ business?

If she wants to deal with someone else’s kid, that’s her business.

Beside that, Wes Anderson movies make me want to throw shit at the screen. Just take a steaming pile of dogshit and hurl it at any screen that those movies play on. Juno sucked balls. Little Miss Sunshine was ok, but it too tried waaaay too hard to be quirky. The only thing I really liked about it and thought was funny was them running to get the van started. That was so ghetto and cute and so what my family would do if that happened to our car.

I have to say though that Jurassic Park was a much better movie than book. The book was excrutiating boring at points and the children seemed far too young; I’m glad they made them older in the movie. Plus there was a whole lot of dramatic nonsense that I liked being cut from the film.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Ms. Epps I dont think what you did was wrong but there is a very thin line to walk when dealing with other people’s children, which is why being a step mom is so hard. You have to support the child, keep them, clothe them, feed them but you dont have much of a say so how the child is raised. I dont even like it when my husbands mother tries to step in! I mean we have had it out over a change of clothes, because I like my child to look a certain way and I dont believe in kids throwing on anything and being out in public looking crazy especially not mine. In the same situation I would have directed her to her father if she wanted help and then told her that the reason why was because you think she is able to do it by herself and that doing things on her own will make her strong..etc, etc. Its a thin line and often you have to step over it to find out where it is….

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yea Shay..i would be the same way with my kids lol.. sometimes i think he forgets that he is her father not her friend he is there to be an authority figure not a playmate…sometimes he doenst even realize when he does it so i step in and tell him even though i know he gets mad.. but shit someone gotta be the adult when the other one forgets lol

LOL@ NotBlonde

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

NotBlonde – I disagree on Jurassic Park. Probably because I’m a science geek, but I loved all the technical stuff. The movie? ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Where’s my hazelnut latte?

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

BTW – what is this new found f@ckery at coffee shops? Folks have taken to ordering drinks that don’t even exist. I got stuck behind this guy –

“It’s a vientanna,*half of it whole milk, 1/4 soy, 1/2 non fat. Stem it super hot with sugar-free cinnamon syrup, two decaf espresso shots, one caff espresso shot, no water, no foam.” I have no idea where his body is.

*I was at one of those independent shops with their own language. Half the menu is in a Fratalialan**

**French-Italian-Catalan. I think.

12 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL I dont drink at coffee shops… I mean didnt even know what coffee was until I got to college. Where I am from we drink sweet tea…. LMAO

12 06 2008
joaquin

war of roses is a good example

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

^^^^I forgot to add. You noticed that added up to more than one cup of milk. He didn’t even tip the barista for that crap.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Merri Lee, I totally get what you mean. I loved all the technie nerd stuff too and really understanding how exactly they were going to get the dinosaurs created. I hated the children though, everytime they popped up in the story I wanted to skip those sections but I knew it’d be important so I just bit the bullet and read through their idiotic lines.

I was about 10 I think when i first saw the movie in theaters and read the book some years later. Maybe that’s why I like the movie more

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Merri Lee that is exactly why i would never work at a coffee shop all those names to remember..what ever happend to Small, Medium, Large regular, decaf, black, lots of cream, lots of sugar lol like come one!! I have a friend that orders some shit like 1/2 of half and half, non-fat soy, vanilla syrup, caramel, decaf mocha,vomit,toilet water yada yada yada…when i simply ask…vanilla bean frapp with whip cream and cinnamon…fuck outta here with all that fancy douchebag coffee ish..i personally like the coffee i make at home some regular ass folger’s coffee,1/3 amerretto creamer and three packets splenda lol

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

And what does this even mean: “It’s a vientanna,*half of it whole milk, 1/4 soy, 1/2 non fat. Stem it super hot with sugar-free cinnamon syrup, two decaf espresso shots, one caff espresso shot, no water, no foam.”

I’m trying to figure out why someone would want two decaf shots of espresso and one that is caffeinated…and why would they put water in your coffee? And what the fuck is a “vientanna”? People making up drinks drives me nuts. I get a cafe mocha, most of the time a peppermint mocha with no whipped cream (as it ruins the flavor and makes it super-sweet) from Starbucks. I find that the neighborhood coffee places cost more than Starbucks.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL@ Mrs. epps. Foreal, when I want to wake the fuck up I drink my Folgers instant coffee with mocha creamer and brown sugar. When I just want something tasty to drink I go for cafe mochas or that new mint chocolate frappucino thing they have with chocolate whipped cream. Oh my god. I almost died and went to heaven. That thing probably has 8000 calories per cup 🙂

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i love that we have a starbucks in our litte neighborhood plaza up the street and they make the best coffee at this one…i use to hate starbucks coffee always tasted burt to me…can ppl burn coffee?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i thought i was the only one who put brown sugar in their coffee… ooooo i have to try that mint chocolate frap..sounds good and good for my inner fat girl “Maria” is her name hahaha

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Yes you can definitely burn coffee and oh my jesus is it awful. It permeates the air. My little sister made coffee in my mom’s coffeemaker when she was about 13 and left it on all day. When we got home the coffee had burned into the bottom of the glass container and it smelled like burnt kidney beans.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

My inner fat girl’s name is totally Bethany. I don’t know why.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

speaking of brown way off topic.. you ever notice how brown sugar, brown eggs, wheat flour which is also brown good for you…and all that other shit like white eggs, flour,regular ass white sugar is bad for you..brown is good white is bad…ok let me stop..

12 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

Chris is it? (the author and mediator of this blog/site.) hate i missed it today. u sir are quite the asshole and thats why my friend, i know i’m not alone. that was some funny shit and as much as i hate those same pretentious cunt-watting lametardos that you call hipsters, you’re point is not always on.

yes, sometimes the movie can be better than the book.

yes, the book does not have the same time constraints that a movie does but you discount the visual and sound elements that a movie brings to the viewer. why, one well placed shadow accompanied by a deafening silence then horn stabs can produce a more visceral experience than a million words.

a similar example of what the audio visual can do versus the original source. …the music video can do wonders for a song that is just ok even after you’ve heard it the 1st million times on the radio.

sir i salute you, and for the most part i agree with you. your prose is top notch, delivery; deadly only rivaled by an asshole like me. keep up the good work?

PMC

12 06 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

in fact, that shit was so funny, im going to read it again straightaway.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOL@ Burt coffee smell…man the ppl at work do that shit.. im like why why why…

inner fat girl named Bethany lol…iwas talking about a girl Bethany yesterday who i fucking hated in high school!

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

And what the fuck is a “vientanna”?

A made up word to indicate the largest sized. I don’t think Vente (Starbucks) or Viente (Tully’s) are real words, but nothing tops Nordstrom. Enorme?

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Hahahaha. I knew an asshole Bethany as well. It’s just one of those names that I would never name my child purely because it would bring up shitty memories everytime and because I don’t think I’ll hate them.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

LOL@ Enorme. That sounds like a dildo for some reason…

12 06 2008
Muse

My inner fat girl’s name is Beeftoya

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Enorme? is that a nice word for fat ass?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Beeftoya..smh..LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

Oh – FoxNews “apologized” for the baby mama comment. Not because the Obamas complained, but because the Beckys who work at FoxNews find the word offensive. Lovin’ this

12 06 2008
Muse

I wonder what SBPH calls his inner fat girl Bahahaha.

12 06 2008
NotBlonde

Whoa…wtf? “Terrorist Fist Jab”???? Goddamn sometimes I hate white people.

And what is this about a “baby momma” comment?

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Chris’ inner fat boy is named Roscoe lol jk

12 06 2008
Merri Lee
12 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Chris why can’t you ever write anything positive? There is nothing wrong with being well educated and wordly. Books provide an avenue for people to connect across cultural lines. Ignorance is not bliss my friend. You have so much to learn.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Not Blonde on fox they had displayed at the bottom Obama’s baby mama refering to Michelle…as for “terrorist fist jab” since when did terrorist give dap to each other? i thought i was more like “Praise Allah” and then the Xena Princess warrior call..

12 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Michelle Obama only has herself to blame for all the negative press sheis receiving. Fox shouldn’t have to aplogize for calling her a “baby momma” since early on in Obama’s campaign she introduced him as her baby daddy.

No one bothers McCain’s wife because she doesn’t open her mouth.Michelle Obama makes Black Women look bad. She needs to take some trips from Angela McGlowan on how to be a lady.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Chris why can’t you ever write anything positive? There is nothing wrong with being well educated and wordly. Books provide an avenue for people to connect across cultural lines. Ignorance is not bliss my friend. You have so much to learn.

someone totally missed the point of the post…he is not saying anything is wrong with being educated and “wordly” he is saying if you read the book and saw the movie dont be a pompous ass about it and repeat the fact that you thought the book was better…btw 1/2 the stuff on this blog will be negative hence the name of this blog STUFF BLACK PEOPLE “HATE”.

12 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

^^^^ have a cup of shut the fuck up as figure 4 suggests..toddlez hommies im off for today.

12 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Mrs Epps I’m sure Chris is able to address my questions and concerns. He doesn’t need a foul mouth hyper aggressive woman to speak for him.

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAO hyper aggersive fouled mouth..thats rich you must have skipped above and and forgot to actually read the point of this post.. oh well..around her we try to help our author’s readers understand where he is coming from.. and yes he is a big boy..MY BAD for helping!!! i suppose you havent been reading this blog very long sweetheart..so with that said Welcome to SBPH!

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

Hmm.. QuadroonLdy, I have found your post quite revelatory. I am going to have to disagree, Fox news should have apologized as their primary job is to provide an unbiased report of local and national news. I dont see how calling Michelle Obama a “baby mamma” does either. Angela McGlowan? Dont get me started, I will just say that Michelle is much better role model for black women….

13 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Angela is not on the Liberal train. She has her own mind and speaks on the many truths on how Liberals have tricked Black people intro a cattle mentality. Shay maybe you should pick up one of her books.

Michelle looks very hood to me. There is nothing attractive about her.

13 06 2008
MyreCat82

Memoirs of a Geisha is my favorite book, so I did not want to see the movie, couldn’t stand to see it destroyed 🙂

13 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Besides how can anyone respect a woman who has never been proud of her country? For someone who went to Princeton and Harvard Law, she is mighty ungrateful! How man Americans of any race can make that claim? Michelle is an ungrateful bitter female. If she hates American maybe she should move to Kenya with her inlaws.

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I will agree to disagree. Angela is not my cup of tea and Michelle is not yours.

13 06 2008
NotBlonde

Exactly when has Michelle Obama said that she hates America?

13 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

Michelle Obama is blinded by hatred for her opponents. She has led a sheltered life, completely misled by liberal professors and associates about the real world. She’s rich, privileged woman who has no idea of how ordinary people live. Many who have been given far less can see the opprotunities here for those who work. Michelle cannot because of her bitterness. The last thing America needs is people like her in postitions of “responsibility” mouthing off so that the rest of the world can mock us. She is truly the Ugly American.

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

NOOOOOO NotBlonde.. its a trap!!!!

13 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

The Obamas are not what this country needs. Michelle and Barack went to a racisr black church for twenty years where racist views were raucously cheered by his congregation. Besides Obama has no answer for any tough questions because he gets none from the mainstream media. Obama is flawed and his racist wife will only guarentee that McCain will win.

13 06 2008
zoso

*yawn* It’s almost bedtime. I’m late and all but, even though I know nothing of kids,

If Mrs. Epps is about to marry this dude, and spend the rest of her life with this dude, and help take care of this dude’s kid, then she should be able to pitch in with parenting. I mean, the kiddo comes with the marriage so why so defensive? Wouldn’t the kid be more respectful/accepting of Mrs. Epps if she saw her father respected Mrs. Epps enough to trust her parenting as well? Just my 2 cents.

p.s. I was hella bad with my step-father and always pulled the ‘you ain’t my daddy’ but he was a asshat so I feel justified. I still feel bad for step-parents the world over though.

13 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Sorry, was late on today. Monie @ comic books. http://www.griotenterprises.com

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol thanks zoso….i feel that it would be my duty as a wife to help my husband raise his daughter with him…Im not trying to take the role of her mother not at all.. I just want her to have as much knowledge and values as possible before she enters the world of adulthood shit teenage-hood if thats a word hahah…but i will do it in away to respect his and her parenting styles.. I just hope that when me and him have children he will be able to except my parenting style hahah…already know it will be good cop bad cop…I’ll def be the “my mommy is mean” hahaha o well..His daughter already sees me as a step-mother or the mother of our house.. me and her have a very good relationship..and hopefully it will continue to be that way.. we have to keep in mind she is only going to be 6…now if she was 16 it would probably be different lol..

I also pulled the “you aint my daddy” card on my step-dad even though he was basically the only dad a knew ahahhah

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

btw GO BOSTON!!!! i cant stand the Lakers solely because Kobe is on their team hahaha…petty i know…Boston got crushed this 1st quarter blah…

until tomorrow peeps

13 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

oh flip, why is creoly booty back. Mrs. Epps you didn’t notice the name and the fact that she was already gunning for you? I thought she was banned. dag, it was a such a good convo today too.

13 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Oh and Mrs. Epps, the thing I had a problem with when you said that is the way that undercuts what you said to her. Thats a problem beyond his child/step parent. As an adult of responsibility for children, whether teacher, parent, step, counselor whatever, you have to work as a team. The fact that he knew you told her to work on it alone, and then went right in and helped her, shows her that what you say aint really worth much, its not terrible for young kids, but as she gets older, she could turn bitchy (esp. during those middle school years) and if you say something reasonable, she can go behind you to daddy to undo anything. I dunno, I live with my biologics and was evil enough during those years to always run behind the other parent and to undercut something I didn’t like. NEway, my 2 cents and thats why I would be mad. My sister did some stuff like that. She adopted her nephew, treated him like crap, he ended up being bad as shit, but when her husband tried to discipline him, even mildly, she went apeshit on his ass. To the point where little billy badass had the 15 year old balls to strike him and they got into a fist fight. This is why its bad to undercut other adults, because kids know and will lose respect, and respect is important.

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LOL Ms. Epps I am defintely the “bad cop” in my house. My husband gets mad because he said if he as told her something and Ihave told her the opposite she will tell him “my mommy said for me to do xxx” and gets mad. Hey, that’s part of the package. I get to be mean mommy but she does what I say. You get to be fun daddy…. you cant get all the perks!

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I thought I was the only Boston Fan… I really want the Celtics to win

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

damn the fucking Lakers bitch ass niggas yada yada..willnotbetelevised..godd damn point..i meant to mention that shit too hahah thanks for the reminder!

Shay hahah yea im def gonna be bad cop i could careless as long as shit is in order round here hahah yea he can be fun daddy all he want..as long as they rememb er mommy cracks the whip! hahaha let me stop..my kids on shit their pants whne im around hahah cant have that i guess…its funny how much i said i would never be like my mother..but i cant help it now that im an adult hahah o well..

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Celtics have been the underdogs in the finals and i hope they beat the Lakers asses!!! ok im done shutting off the laptop adios ciao..hasta luego!

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

that should be gonna not on when my kids shit their pants hahah BYE!

13 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

go boston, i fucking hate the lakers. And yes its mostly kobe’s fault. but theres enough hate to spread around

13 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Michele Obama is a queen. When she worked at U of C, she was an approachable and kind Black woman who spoke to everyone (especially the Black folks) she saw. She is from humble beginings and she has helped her dynamic and doting husband create a powerful family that should be an inspiration to all Americans. And anyone who is too stupid to see that is a mark-ass bitch who’d be better off dead or enslaved.

Trinity is one of the few Black “mega” churches I respect. And though I wish Reverend Wright had been a little more….I dunno…..careful in his word choices when trying to defend himself at that NAACP Dinner, I stand by him 100% and everything he said in those youtube videos. GODDAMN AMERICA, if this country don’t get right!

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

LMAO@ Mark Ass Bitch.. She made you go south central! LOL I dont know what past history you guys have but I can smell a set up a mile away. She was definitely looking for trouble.

13 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Fukk the Lakers, I’m on team Green as well…go Celtics! It’s time for Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to get rings! I’m such a bandwagon jumper though… I went to college in the Boston area but I couldn’t get behind them then because the team was too white for an NBA team and that bothered me, LOL.

13 06 2008
The Doc Is In

“Sister Toldja (02:07:17) :
And anyone who is too stupid to see that is a mark-ass bitch who’d be better off dead or enslaved.”

Yeah…she referred to herself as a Quadroon…I think you’ve said it all, LOL.

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

dammit its 1/2 time nothing to do..hubby out with the boys.. i could call my girls or play Grandtheft auto now that i heard “Mark ass BItch” that has San Andreas written all over it..”SHIT CJ SHIT”…”GIMMIE THAT GRIP” ok im a nerd…bye foreal this time..gonna play video games.. i wish the 26th(man’s birthday) can get here so we(i :-)) can play with the PS3 i bought for him!!

13 06 2008
Knatural

I smell Creole. ::looking in “QuadroonLdy’s” direction::

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

personally my team of choice is the Cavaliers…

13 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ok one more thing ahhhh the dude with the creepy blue and brown eyes is doing the 1/2 time show**Changes Channel** I’m having nightmares while im awake staring at him!

13 06 2008
QuadroonLdy

ST learn your history!

As for my alias, there is nothing wrong with being proud of my heritage and racial makeup. Look up the history of Quadroons in this country and how we are the ones who fought for the rights of Black. We were the ones who opened the doors of opprotunity.

13 06 2008
NotBlonde

*sniff sniff* Do I smell gumbo? Some crawdads? I think Creole Cooter has made her triumphant return.

And I gotta rep for my Lakers. Kobe is a douche but according to my friend, the Lakers have this win coming since they’ve lost to the Celtics a few times before in the Finals.

13 06 2008
Nice

QuadroonLdy, Creole Beauty and Grimm, all the same people??!!??!!

13 06 2008
Nice

QuadroonLdy, Creole Beauty and Grimm all the same people???!!??

13 06 2008
Monie

To the Qua Ldy,

Well those things you mentioned regarding Michelle Obama are conjecture. Here are some FACTS concerning Cindy McCain;

(Cindy) McCain was investigated by the Drug Enforcement Administration after the agency was approached by a former staff member of her charity. The investigation resulted in no charges or prison time for her, and she entered a diversion program. While these records were not made public at the time, Mrs. McCain eventually confessed her drug use when she learned that a reporter was investigating the story.

Read more here;
http://www.theagitator.com/2008/02/03/cindy-mccains-painkiller-problem/

Say what you want about Michelle but at least she’s not a drug addict and a thief.

13 06 2008
Nice

I would like the Lakers if it wasnt for Kobe.

13 06 2008
Muse

White baby Jesus what the hell is this nonsense Quadroon (WTF?) is spewing? I’m not going to feed the trolls but I have to response to Quadroon’s baseless statements about the Obamas. For all my melanin challenged friends out there, please understand that a lot of people of color have felt outside of the ideal American that we are all sold as children. 40 years ago, fire hoses and dogs were turned on African Americans, civil rights fights were lynched and assassinated. In the south Black kids couldn’t play on the same teams or swim in the same municipal pools as White Kids. American hasn’t always been America to everyone. Michelle Obama’s statements do not mean she hates American, but rather they reflect sentiments of why various people feel disappointed by this country.

BTW I personally take offense of how you characterize Michelle Obama. In my eyes that woman is the epitome of class, sophistication, intellect, and grace. Michelle Obama represents that best in the Black community and that a woman can have it all: love, career, and a strong family. Michelle Obama’s accomplishments are an example of the great potential this country can achieve if everyone is giving the opportunity to be successful. I’ve had the honor of meeting both Obamas and I have to tell you Michelle is one of the most approachable down to earth HUMBLE women I’ve ever met. I’m inspired by her on some many levels. She is the real life Claire Huxable. These baseless attacks are coming strong from the Republican political machine because they cannot find anything to truly discredit Obama or is wife so they have resorted to taking the low road by disrespecting this woman. Nevertheless she continues to hold her head up high with pride like the awesome Black woman she is and no one, not even a racially confused sell out can take that away from her.

BTW Quadroon the coon you are dismissed. Go suck on massa’s balls in the big house.

13 06 2008
Deesigner

I hate the Celtics with all that is within me. I hate Parquet floors because of the boston gardens (little g). I still relish when Sedale Threatt beat the ish out of Danny Ainge in the early 80’s. I do however really like Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen (a class act) as individuals. I wish that Kobe would be traded to the Celtics so that I might hate them more.
G’night.

13 06 2008
Shay-d-lady

I love Jesus Shuttlesworth! He is my favorite!

13 06 2008
zoso

Dang… Muse socked it to’em.

15 06 2008
Lola

Speaking of books…i must say the geisha book was way better than the film…sorry

15 06 2008
Lola

dp

15 06 2008
Lola

oops too much posting at one sitting

15 06 2008
imaG

They should make this site a movie…so I can proclaim…”The Blog was better!” :-p

http://www.anythingblack.net

15 06 2008
lola gets

Back on topic here…I know of one book/movie combo in which the book was significantly worse: One Were Warriors by Alan Duff. It might have been a bestseller, but I thought it sucked.

L

16 06 2008
WargodPR1

There are lots of comic book characters of “minority” heritage, but unfortunately none in the grand comic scheme…There was Luke Cage, and War Machine in Marveland let us not forget the prime Black character in Marvel, The Black Panther (to add to the others stated) (as far as blacks go) Then you have Sunspot (Roberto DeCosta), a Black Latino. Let’s not forget Spawn, the movie was good, the comics were ok. DC didn’t have that many Black characters let alone many characters that weren’t white until the 70’s.

There has been this huge influx in “minority” characters in the past two decades, like , Marvel Characters Forge, Thunderbird and his younger brother Warpath, Danielle Moonstar to name a few; Robert Bearclaw aka Ripclaw of Top Cow. It’s unlikely any of these characters were even noticed, or will be noticed when the movies are made and yet they exist as models for our youth.

Here is a damn good site to go to check out the relationship of comics to society: http://www.youngmoney.com/entertainment/movies/060801

16 06 2008
KG

I love to write and I LOOOOOVVVEEE movies (crap and the good stuff alike) so I was kind of torn when reading this post. However, I wholeheartedly agree that a film adaptation of a book doesn’t mean the movie will automatically suck and vice-versa. I tried (REALLY TRIED) to read “The Other Boleyn Girl” before the film came out and couldn’t make it past the first six pages, it was awful. Didn’t see the film either, so I will continue to go on the assumption that it sucked as well.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yea, i was actually talking to my brother about non-white comic book people and black comic heros and he was bringing up most of the people you did wargod but at the same time i had to point out they were never major characters. The black panther (which i’m still kinda mad they had to have black in the title for his black ass) was not widely read, i still dont know what he looks like. And storm only came to prominince like in the 90s but still didn’t get a decent spinoff. Supposedly there was a bishop miniseries but they give all characters a minispinoff for like a couple months, they didn’t dedicate anything to him and he’ll always be a side character to the Xmen storyline. Lord help me i found he had a sister that showed up and i had to damn near chew my brother out for even mentioning her. As far as bishop is already a side character can you imagine how aside his sister must be. There’s more than there used to be but almost none in any prominent position. I don’t know if its because people wont support them (i actually doubt this- i feel comic book fans and scifi fans are the least racist, probably because they accept aliens so why would they care if you were chinese) or whether theres so few people willing to make them (i dont think white people feel comfortable making non-white characters-PC reasons or don’t think about it, who knows).

17 06 2008
AC

Chris, I can’t wait to see the movie that your upcoming book is based upon!

Let the comparisons begin! lol

17 06 2008
WargodPR1

Willnotbetelevised, I see your point. The biggest impact has come from Spawn and Blade for minority purposes. You really dont hear about too many non-caucasian super heroes out there, I think thats why I liked Heroes so much. One of the main characters was Asian. Yeah, he’s not Black or Hispanic, but it doesnt matter in my eyes. The one Hispanic person on there is a woman who would allow herself to be trustful of a stranger…though Sylar is Hispanic in real life…anyways…
My issue with conversions has always been one of dramatic licensing rather than staying true to the meaning of the book.

17 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

Yes, some of my favorite shows because they show a mixed cast in important roles, not just side characters were Heroes, Greys Anatomy and Eureka. Although I love Nathan Petrelli and Heroes, them and grey’s anatomy go down in my book because even though major characters are minorities, they still find it difficult to stay away from stereotype roles (mammy, black man with anyone but black woman, little mixed boy with too much hair and black men as criminals/sex objects) but its a huge step up. I love Eureka and the fact that a black woman is beautiful and gets the attentions of the 2 hottest and most powerful men in town even though she still is the long flowing hair/mixed stylization, single mom too. But they have single dad there too. Thats cool. I just wish they would find their original writers and then sit them down and tell them to work together. The writing is so severely inconsistent I can’t even reccommend it to people yet.

7 11 2008
Avi

This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in aeons… I defy them to make a better movie version! 😛
thanks for bringing a genuine smile to my week-wearie mug.

14 02 2009
Lili

WOW. I laughed so hard, especially at this statement:
“Somewhere out there are four angry fathers pretending not to know who the fuck these people are.”

This is so hilarious. I feel the same way about pretentious pricks. I do think that sometimes there is a valid reason for saying that the book was much better. Sometimes, movies are made that are SO much worse than the book, I mean Godawful, that fans of that book will be really annoyed. That, I feel, is a legitimate reason to tell someone to check out a book and skip the movie. But for those who frequently say “The book was better” without any prompting and only for appearing to be more cultured and literate than their “friend,” I have only contempt.

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