Teenagers

11 06 2008

Some teenaged bitch-goddess with a cell phone welded to the titanium plate in her skull jumped on my train this afternoon and didn’t shut the fuck up for what I now consider to be the thirty most painful minutes of my life.

Figure 1: Apparently someone died, went to Hell, and managed to come back with a photo.

This pain in the ass waltzes onto the Silver Spring metro determined to assault each and every of my five senses to the greatest extent possible:

  • Sense #1 – Hearing: I heard the bitch before I saw her, yammering away on what later turned out to be a Samsung Juke – which, for those who don’t know, is a cell phone purchased only by people whose level of stupidity could only be described as ‘unreasonable’. Her voice was insanely annoying – imagine Hillary Clinton high on PCP getting banged in the ass around age 17 or so. My hearing would be the first, last, and most thoroughly bludgeoned of my senses. I’ll get into the details in a bit.
  • Sense #2 – Sight: After recognizing the unmistakable whine of a female teenage voice, I did what any man would do: I looked in her direction with a determined snarl in the faint hope that she wouldn’t sit near me. This was a mistake, because this girl’s appearance was so…confusing…that I am now legally colorblind. This idiot, who was a Ginger with skin so pale it bordered on translucent, apparently woke up this morning and said “if the concept of ‘howling and screaming’ somehow became anthropomorphically incarnate, I wonder how it would dress?” She then went outside and raided a gay pride parade, stealing all the flags which she would use to make a really shitty looking tube top and butt-cheek revealing rainbow short shorts – but not before stopping by the local Goth repository to pick up a rivet studded black leather biker girl purse to show she had a ‘dark side’. This chick’s outfit looked like the pile of clothes that’d be left on the floor if Marilyn Manson and George Takei ripped each others clothes off and started fucking.
  • Senses #3 & 4 – Smell and Taste: The Ginger walked by me, and the combination of extreme heat and whatever Britney Spears Le Peau de Funk nose hair melting ‘fragrance’ she was wearing got me about as close as I figure I’ll ever get to physically attacking a female. This chick smelled like a West African animal proctology clinic. Of course, since smell and taste are so closely linked, it was only a matter of seconds before I went from just smelling the ass to actually tasting it – which of course led to…
  • Sense #5 – Touch: She tasted so bad, I broke my hand punching her in the vagina, and it hurt like a motherfucker.*

Anyhow, you’ll recall above how I said I shot her a snarl to keep her away from me. This, of course, didn’t work, because she was on the phone and, like all women on the phone, she was completely oblivious to anything and everything going on around her regardless of how threatening it was. My black ass could’ve been sitting there clutching a bloody butcher knife while wearing a wedding dress covered with hundreds of severed cocks and she still would’ve sat next to me.

Figure 2: Why does a wedding dress make a woman seem just a hair away from going completely apeshit?
So here this girl sits, and here she will sit indeed for the next half an hour. She spends most of the time on the phone loudly complaining about classmates that she finds annoying. The irony of this seemed so staged that at one point I was actually happy, because I thought maybe I was being punk’d and I’d finally get a chance to beat the living shit out of Ashton Kutcher.

That didn’t happen, so instead I sat there taking mental notes of just how much personal information she was giving to everyone in that subway car:

  • Her first name
  • The name and general location of her school
  • The first and last name of the (presumptive) chick she was talking to
  • Where she was going and why she was on the Metro
  • The name and street intersection of her place of summer employment
  • Her email address (I actually remembered it, and am very tempted to release it publicly)
  • Her last name (part of her email address)
  • What’s she’s doing on Friday, where, at what time, and who with
  • The name of the condo/apartment complex where she lives with her parents and little brother

This idiot is an Amber Alert waiting to happen, but I could really care less. All I could think about as I exited the train was whether or not she’s more annoying than this.

*Ok, so this didn’t happen…but you know damn well you wanted it to.

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307 responses

11 06 2008
scarletjones

I would co-sign on you publishing her info but it would probably only end up in you getting charged with some internet bullying crime, because she would be so embarrassed that she would have to kill herself. 😦

I have completely given up on the redemption of teenagers of all races, classes, and genders at this point. The amount of inanity (a word?) that the run around spouting, in addition to the complete lack of motivation to think past the next week that they are alive is tragically disappointing.

make em’ all jump off bridges and let’s try to start over!

11 06 2008
lisaturtle

I hated teenagers when I was a teenager. Worse than actual teenagers are people of any age who aren’t teenagers that behave like teenagers. UGH.

Side Note: but I could really care less Was this intentional? Not trying to be annoying but I hate when people say, “I could care less” when “couldn’t care less” is what makes sense.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

oh, and the wedding dress thing is because in all likelyhood the woman is remembering how some fucktarded- wanna-be-designer-never-will-get-married-ass bitch probably pissed the woman in said dress off during a fitting.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

I had to deal with one of those today…thankfully she wasn’t as terrifying as a Ginger, but I walk about 15 minutes to get home from campus. This girl was behind me for at least 10 of those 15 minutes as she apparently lives on the block over.

She said “like” from the time I started counting (maybe 3 minutes in to her conversation) exactly 47 times. She said “like” 6.71 times per minute. How does one do that? I’ll tell you how. She was talking to her sister about summer school. She had a class with professor Idon’tgiveafuck and Lindy (couldn’t figure out if this was a nickname or this poor girl’s actual name) wouldn’t shut the fuck up about her Pomeranian.

Apparently, like, Lindy’s Pomeranian, like, totally peed on the like, floor. Why does the professor even like, let the dog like, in the room, you know? I mean like, it’s a dog! It should totally like, be outside the room, you know? And she like, goes to the bathroom and then like, comes back. And then like, cleans it up. And then like, tells the teacher she’s like, sorry. And I was like, omg, how can you be like, sorry for your like, dog like, peeing on the like, floor.

I had to listen to that mess for 10 minutes. I gave her the stank eye when we reached a corner and the hand was red but her little blond head just kept bobbling away.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

By the way: why are black people, especially black teenagers so fucking LOUD? I’m chilling in my new studio apartment (what what!) and outside of my window I hear screaming. I jump up to see if someone is getting beaten up or needs assistance and what do I see? A bunch of nigglets running around throwing water on each other. At 8:53pm. In Berkeley. These people are at least 18. Now they are playing “football” with water balloons and screaming their heads off. I’m on the third floor of my building and they are two blocks away. W.T.F.

11 06 2008
Roger

I hate, hate, HAAATE when troglodytes get on their fucking cell phones and broadcast to the WORLD their fucking personal business. Shut the fuck up about shit you don’t want the world knowing and save that nonsense for private-and don’t get pissed when people are staring at you and are all up in your conversation, moron!

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

I think you are completely validated in publishing her info, bitches like that are public threats and should be registered like sex offenders. They drive innocent people like me to murderous rages…I have a two “like, OMG, you know?!” limit… the uzi comes out on number three.

I still haven’t decided what’s worse though – being subjected to the one-sided cellphone conversation or listening to the whole group of them babbling on in your presence.

11 06 2008
miss kate

aaaah NotBlonde–those chicks who use “like” every other word in a sentence give me seizures and make me really really violent. I always want to tape them and play it back so they can see how utterly idiotic they sound…or maybe provide a transcript of the 10 minutes of inanity they have subjected us all to.

What makes me even more upset–it’s always the upwardly mobile, college-educated (or educating) types who talk like this. I teach them now, at a highly-ranked, competitive university. I used to overhear them all the time on the Metro, talking at the top of their lungs to their equally stupid-sounding friends–on their way to some prestigious internship on the Hill. Meanwhile, Tyrone and LaKisha and ‘nem in SE or wherever get looked down upon at the slightest hint of dialect. GRRRAAAR.

11 06 2008
ViK

Co-sign on that last part! I have been in plenty of public places with people giving out credit card numbers, social security numbers, home addresses and all other kinds of personal info over their cell phones. Apparently it is unclear to people that some magical soundproof booth does not appear upon answering the phone.

11 06 2008
Knde

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to see a lot of adults adopting this trend as well. It also transcends all races. Black teenagers and adults are just as guilty as our white counterparts. Though I have noticed that Oriental Asians are a lot quieter in public transport than the rest of us humans.

For every five unnecessarily loud, disruptive, annoying teenager, there’s about 2.5 unnecessarily loud, disruptive, annoying adults. I don’t understand this incessant need to talk. It must be true what the surveys say, about people being lonelier than ever. Thus this need to always talk.

This is why I always have headphones on during my bouts on public transport. The Jubilee Line from Westminister to Kilburn gives me a blooming headache on my way back from work everyday.

11 06 2008
ninasimone

“My black ass could’ve been sitting there clutching a bloody butcher knife while wearing a wedding dress covered with hundreds of severed cocks and she still would’ve sat next to me.”

you have a truly demented imagination and I love it!!!!!!!

11 06 2008
Saun

I would email her letting her know that you and all of DC has her information and then send her the link to this post.

@miss kate
Those types of folks irritate me so bad that the only way I can get through it is to count how many times they say “like” or “um” and then tell them….”Did you know that you said the word like 25 times in a 5 minute conversation. You might want to be aware of that”. Right now I’m trying to get through the train rides where all the dominican kids have decided that instead of the word “like” or “um” they use “nigga”. Imagine hearing that every other word.

11 06 2008
shabooty

which will happen first?
her getting cervical cancer or you getting ear drum cancer?

11 06 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

I’m the mother of a teenager. I hate most of them, too. Particularly the ones who are my daughter’s “friends”. Thankfully, my kid limits her talk time to the house, but it’s pretty often that I wanna beat the phone with a bat… or my child, but of course, the latter is illegal.

11 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

All I have to say now is you mofos are up wayyyy to early in the morning. Yuck

11 06 2008
Blue Eyed Angel

“My black ass could’ve been sitting there clutching a bloody butcher knife while wearing a wedding dress covered with hundreds of severed cocks and she still would’ve sat next to me.”

Lmao…priceless!

11 06 2008
willnotbetelevised

I have always hated teenagers, even when i was a teenager…. Cosign! The only thing I hate more than teenagers are middle schoolers. I even told my brother when he entered middle school I was going to hate him for 3 years at least. I should warn my nephew now too. They are like teenagers but almost impossibly dumber and more obnoxious. A twelve year old is the worst creation of man.

11 06 2008
Esko

Grrr @ ms kate for using my given name as a stereotypical Black male name.

Anyways, I can’t use my cellphone in public without feeling looking like a pompous asshole. How anyone, particularly a teen, could spend upwards of 30 minutes on one is beyond me. I once to wondered how my friends would manage racking up 400 dollar surcharges on local calls. Teens are geared for showboating asshattery with little regard for practicality and we’ve been given better tools to accomplish the job. (phones, blogs, ipods, etc)

11 06 2008
zoso

@ Roger: troglodytes !? That’s an amazing word. I’m going to use it somehow today!

11 06 2008
Angry IV

Release the e-mail address! I want to see if she has a myspace or facebook page, and then create myself a false page and send her dirty messages and later reveal myself to be a 49-year-old ex-con with a taste for young snatch.

11 06 2008
london

This chick smelled like a West African animal proctology clinic….
priceless… ::dying::

aside from the conversations the tinny music the little bastardos have blaring whilst out and about really fucks me off.. who wants to hear an all treble and no bass version of li’l wayne watshisname..?

blame the parents.. blame the media.. blame manufacturers..
kids do not need phones full stop…

manufacturers design ‘must have’ products – desirable toys… why an mp3 player and camera in the phone – because only kids would use it…
the media hype the fear factor… convincing parents that they should have a phone and so should their kids – just in case… and create the whole buzz around the newest handsets…
the parents buy the phones out of guilt for not really knowing where their kids are when they should….

parents need to get a grip on their young…
kids should be in one or 2 places in general… school or home…
back in the day – if i was at a friend’s house my mother knew the friend, their parents and their address and phone number.. the friends parents the same…
my father always came to pick me up… no loitering on the street for me..
once i was old enough to get home on my own.. i got back when my parents thought i should.. no arguments – being skinned alive then grounded was not appealing to me..
there was no way i would have had a mobile phone… i had no need for one…

parents today are either too democratic or don’t give a fuck…
teenagers are a product parents being let off the hook…
aaargh…

11 06 2008
Cola

Oh Snap! I am an adult with a Samsung Juke so that makes me?!….

11 06 2008
Cola

Also I dislike pre-teens more than teenagers. They are so annoying!

11 06 2008
vitazza

ok…I have a teenager. I am that old. I can tell you that teens are the everlovin phuckin devil when the belong to YOU….. I love my child, she is kind, thoughtful, bright, and she is a she-devil…….when not getting her way.
I am a “mean mom” and will not play with a child yet my half-minded fool trys that electric fence at least once a week.
The worst are the sleepovers with all that gdamn squeeling/yelping OMG,LIKE,OMG,WHATTTTT,OMG…..
pissed just thinking of my weekend

11 06 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

Enh, London, I have to disagree a bit with you there… I think it depends on the kids’ age. As stated before, my daughter is a teenager. A very active one. Sure, I know where she is all the time, and can call someone to get a hold of her at each of those places, but a lot of the times that i want to reach her, I like not having to do so via a third party, and vice versa, especially when she’s in school. On the rare occasion that I need to reach her while she’s there, her class time won’t be interrupted so that she can be excused- she can reach me between classes. Same thing can be said for when she’s in transit between there and her practices/games/home/ her job. She doesn’t have time to be out running in the street unsupervised. There’s a whole community of people who will blow up her spot, if she did, anyway. Plus, she’ll be out of town for two basketball camps this summer No waiting for the phone like they’re in prison and shit. I like having a direct line between us, and it works for us . Now all that extra yacking with her friends, I don’t care for, but as long as it’s not impeding the purpose I gave her the phone for, it’s fine. As long as she’s not behaving like the twit on Chris’ train, of course.

11 06 2008
vitazza

the=they belong

co-sign HeavanLieBlu
my teen has a phone as well………the minutes are monitored. Parents really need to be able to reach their children at all times when they live in a city like Bmore.

11 06 2008
Elaine

I’m nineTEEN…do I still count as a “nigglet”? I agree with midteens being annoying with the inane conversations and the cakey make-up. Over the past couple of years or so, I’ll admit I’ve cut down on the “OMGs” and slang. My friends and I usually use slang ironically though.

Teens aren’t that bad…

11 06 2008
Esquire

Why do people talk about medical things loudly on the cell phone. It makes me very uncomfortable to know that they are on thier way to CVS to get a special “ointment” or that they had to get the boil removed last week.

ew

11 06 2008
Cola

Co-sign about the sleep overs! I am cringing just thinking about it!

11 06 2008
Mental_Revelations

“This chick smelled like a West African animal proctology clinic.”
I laughed so hard I literally fell out of my chair.

Thanks for yet another hilarious post. Helped me wake up and see the sunnier side of pointing out all the seemingly annoying, yet belly achingly funny flaws of others 🙂

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“I hated teenagers when I was a teenager. Worse than actual teenagers are people of any age who aren’t teenagers that behave like teenagers. UGH.”

Co-sign…I didn’t even date teenage boys when I was a teenager, that’s how asinine they were to me. And yet, teens in the early 90s were not NEARLY as bad as these little demon spawn are now. They don’t care, and their parents are such puss*es that they refuse to try to discipline at all from day one. If I hear “they’re just expressing themselves” one more time, I will have an aneurysm, but not before smacking the hell out of them first.

11 06 2008
Knatural

I’m afraid of redheads (ask anyone I know).
And 96% of all wedding gowns are butt-fugly hideous polyester abominations to nature.

11 06 2008
Bailey Blues

@ Esquire – why I walked past this (crazy) lady’s office the other day (she sits by my black friend)…and she is hella loud talking about “Well, my shrink says I shouldn’t do it, but I think I’m going to do it anyway.” Everybody heard her.

I HATE middle school kids. They are the worst kids in and out of school. At school, they are just there. They aren’t setting a foundation (elementary) or preparing for college (high school) so they basically wil’ out for 3 years.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

GINGERS…are frightening. I try to not get too close to them, lest they infect me and I wind up with a case of vitiligo. (J/K…sorta…)

11 06 2008
benjie

i have always harbored a severe dislike for the teenage group.

they just seem so… extra. i mean, all the time screaming and cursing and carrying on.
i don’t think i acted like that when i was a teenager…
maybe not.

for some reason tho (i think i’m embracing my inner cougar)
i’m starting to embrace the young dudes. not pedophilia young… legal age.
i blame demi moore.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOL@ Ginger!!! I hate to break it to ya Chris but most teenagers are like this…young dumb and full of cum…and have no damn sense…WHY WHY WHY Put all your business out when your in a public area..shit next thing she was gonna say out loud was her social security number right???

I’m nineTEEN…do I still count as a “nigglet”? I agree with midteens being annoying with the inane conversations and the cakey make-up. Over the past couple of years or so, I’ll admit I’ve cut down on the “OMGs” and slang. My friends and I usually use slang ironically though.

ummm well your 19 so yes your still a teen lol..19 yr olda are just as annoying..and thats probably why when i was 19 i didnt hang out with other 19 yr olds haha…all my friends even husband are a good few yrs older than me.

11 06 2008
Knatural

Roger – you stole my word. Troglodyte. It’s ok. All is forgiven.
Teenagers today are ruined by technology. They all have mobile phones, mp3 players, portable game players, whatever. I didn’t have a cell phone ’til I was 18 and able to establish my own credit. Everyone needs a foot put in their ass every now and then, and teenagers now don’t receive that honor. I agree with Knde – why do people, adults included, always feel a need to talk, especially about personal/medical/sexual stuff in public??!!??

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

*sigh* I shouldn’t have come back to this page this morning. Figure one makes me angry…REALLY ANGRY. Doesn’t that make me racist? Ageist? M’eh.

11 06 2008
the champ

“This chick’s outfit looked like the pile of clothes that’d be left on the floor if Marilyn Manson and George Takei ripped each others clothes off and started fucking.”

this made me choke on my raisin bran and bacon.

11 06 2008
london

heavenleiblu
i hear and understand you however we really do not need mobile phones.. kids even less so..
we have been fed the need for them..
you already have a direct link with your teenager.. you are their parent.. who told you otherwise?
what is wrong with waiting til you see each other… since when has everything become so urgent – that is the fear factor working… you have been fed a false security..
since when has waiting for one phone at camp been like being in prison?
in fact mobile phones have made people lazy and rude more than anything else..
people are late, cancel at the last minute, chat on the damned things whilst at dinner/on the bus/anywhere…
what did the world do before the mobile?
fear of losing/leaving behind your phone is now a recognised anxiety disorder… wtf?
and even more sinister..all mobile phone conversations are monitored by governments.. they know where we are and who we talk to when outside our homes..
we have been duped…
try leaving the thing at home.. you’ll feel better after the first half hour of anxiety…
i can go days at a time with it turned off .. it is a relief… nothing will happen believe me… i am not renewing my contract either.. will soon be getting rid of it..
and don’t get me started on the halleberry… 24/7 working.. i have better time management than that… and it’s only work.. no-one will die…
it is enslavement dressed up as progress accessorised with aspiration and fragranced with fear..
am off my soap box now.. have been moaning about this for years!

11 06 2008
stuffgirlslike

At least she was not laying her mp3 player loudly trying to be a dj in a train. Well why can they not lay the music using an ear phone? If they had decent music to play I would understand but they play bubble gum. I am sorry you punch her.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Since I’m childless, I’m certainly not criticizing those who give their kids cell phones, I just hate how it’s now perceived that kids *have* to have one. I was a really active kid, I’m sure we all were, and we managed to get through the school years without them. Cell phones just make people undependable. Before, your ass had to BE at places when you were supposed to be there, no calling or texting “I’m gonna be a few minutes late”. Or if it was that crucial for me to be late, I’d go to the office or our school’s pay phone and call my mom. If I couldn’t reach her…oh well, I wasn’t going to be late then!

I think at the most teens (especially once they start driving) only need one of those “special” locked phones that can only dial 911 and send and receive calls from their parents. Yep…my kids are gonna hate me 🙂

11 06 2008
Knatural

Raisin bran and bacon – mmmmmmmmmmm. My inner fat-girl has arisen.

11 06 2008
sarah

i think any age that were used to be is very annoying. when i was 19, 15 yr olds were the most annoying fucks in the world. now that i am 24, i cannot tolerate anyone younger than 21 yrs old.

champ, why are you eating raisin bran and bacon? doesn’t one cancel out the other?

11 06 2008
Mr. Smith

“Release the e-mail address! I want to see if she has a myspace or facebook page, and then create myself a false page and send her dirty messages and later reveal myself to be a 49-year-old ex-con with a taste for young snatch.”

LOL!!! From this all I can hear is that emo song “how could this happen to meeeeee!?!??!”

People who put their business out there should have it shared with the world. It’s like wearing a t-shirt with your home address on it then wondering what the police or government can do when people start sending you stuff or showing up to your house. Shut the fuck up stupid cunt, it’s your fucking fault. Post her e-mail. She deserves it.

11 06 2008
Mrs. Kennedy

This post is awesome. I HATE them and everything about them. . . And pre teens too. . . In fact, anything under 21 gets no love from me.
Looking at the recent rash of ghetto prom pictures, I don’t undertsand why its okay to look/dress/smell like baby prostitutes. Where are the parents of these whores in training?
My son is nine and even HE hates teenagers. They are an abomination and I am blessed that, like childbirth, I do not remember the pain, attitude and general assholishness of that phase of my life. With that being said, I think that our new President should arrange to have them to be put away in little huts like menstruating women in the old testament until they reach maturity.

11 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I was a substitute teacher for about a year teaching America’s fuck trophies. The HS students were pretty cool, but the Middle School students were.the.worst. and have made me REALLY hate teenagers.

Whenever I taught at the Middle School, I would come home with a headache from dealing with them. The girls were always the loudest, ready to fight about even the most minor slight. Another time, this 13 year old girl kept trying to cut class. She was trying to tell me that her and her friend both needed to go to the attendance office to turn in the roll. I asked her “Do I look stupid to you?” “No Mr. _______, of course not!” Then the little stripper-in-training touched my leg talmbout, “You got some pretty eyes. Oh you ain’t gon say thank you?” I could’ve been in BIG trouble if someone had walked in and saw that! It took all of my strength to keep from telling her to sit her fast ass down. I calmly told her to get back in her seat and stay there.

And when I saw my 14 year-old cousins profile on Facebook , I was about to put my profile down. I know he’s a kid and all, but his profile was so damn silly.

I have been taking tests to obtain a teaching certification, but I’m thinking long and hard about whether or not I want to go down that career path.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

damn London…true shit…i can dig it.. like 1/2 the time i dont like talking on my phone anyways…I’m an e-mail type person hahha my phone is off 1/2 the time as well and its great! I only turn it on if I’m going to be out late with friends…so if something happens at 3 am i can call my husband…thats the main person i call anyways and thats not often because i see his ass every day lol. But I got lucky at work because they issued me a black berry pearl now that shit is addictive…all be on SBPH in the car on the way home sitting in traffic..now everyone can call me on the blackberry or email me, so sometimes i dont even bring my personal cell to work anymore..

11 06 2008
Knatural

under 21? Sometimes I hate anything under 25. London – I totally agree, most of us do not need mobile phones. I use email more anyway. So I know a seventeen yr old kid who can’t even wipe his/her own ass properly doesn’t need a cell phone. And DC really needs to enforce the curfew. I can’t go anywhere in the city at night without seeing a gaggle of useless minors.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Rev Leon- Another time, this 13 year old girl kept trying to cut class. She was trying to tell me that her and her friend both needed to go to the attendance office to turn in the roll. I asked her “Do I look stupid to you?” “No Mr. _______, of course not!” Then the little stripper-in-training touched my leg talmbout, “You got some pretty eyes. Oh you ain’t gon say thank you?” I could’ve been in BIG trouble if someone had walked in and saw that! It took all of my strength to keep from telling her to sit her fast ass down. I calmly told her to get back in her seat and stay there.

OH hell naw..what the fuck!! wow little girls are bold as hell now a days…its terrible…man my now 15 yr old cousin has a page on myspace and i just shook my head reading all the shit he had put on his page..when i saw him at our grandmothers bday party i wanted to slap him! he had some shit like “lick bitches and get money is how we roll in that fuckin ville” and then under the general info it said smokes and drinks WTFFF..I was pissed not at him but my aunt who is seriosuly totally in denial that her son is a fuck up on purpose! NOO he’s an angel…yea and I’m a virgin haha

11 06 2008
JaBe

Just this morning, I sat next to a boy who refused to sit up and share the seat for two on the train. I politely excused myself as I sat down next to this extremely angry-at-the-world-teen ’cause he’s in Summer school and somehow that’s e’erybody’s fault but his. Needlesstosay, he didn’t get the hint thus, he didn’t adjust his slouch. I glared at him to no avail. It was after my continous moving around searching through my bag that he finally sat up and shared the seat. I thanked him to the delight of may of the other commuters which I’m sure made him angrier.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Knatural…wait, there’s supposed to be a curfew in DC? What time is it? Awww hell, it’s on…I’m making some citizen’s arrests this weekend!

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

And DC really needs to enforce the curfew. I can’t go anywhere in the city at night without seeing a gaggle of useless minors. -Knat

gaggle of useless minor=Adam’s Morgan hands down…My friends pissed me off one night while my hubby was away on business and dragged me down to Adam’s Morgan where everyone knows you have to be 21 to get in to any of that shit execpt Jumbo Slice..none of us are 21 yet until later this year…so what we end up doing..walk around that bitch with a soda bottles filled with liquor sippin and walking around like lost puppies.. i was mad as fuck wanting to go home but they wanted to go eat nasty ass mickey d’s at 3 am…What pissed me off even more were the fucking NEGROS trying to holla…FALL BACK NASTY DRED BOY!!! like why do dudes do this particularly black ignant’ dudes.. “A yo pink shirt pink shirt A YoOOO pink shirt turn around”! its like nigga WTF…I mean i get the fact that you dont know my name but shit…and i have come to realize that I hate my peer group FUCK 20 yr olds…kick rocks…Thank god all my NEW friends are 23 and up phew…

11 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

I have a 17 y/o cousin in Hampton, VA, but he’s always claiming he’s from “Bad News” (Newport News) and acting like he’s all hard and gangsta. I look at him like, Nigga, your mom is a claims adjuster and your dad is a College Professor. Ya’ll live in a nice house and they drive nice ass cars! WTF are you perpetrating for?!

Oh, and fuck trophies who like to get on the MARTA train and listen to music on their cell phone with NO headphones on make my whole inner being hate humanity. Cause we all want to hear you spit out some verses! I look at teens like that and think in my mind “This is why YT folks dont want the trains coming out to the suburbs and I have to drive in rush hour traffic! It’s all your gotdamn fault!”

11 06 2008
keiranzma

@Esko

I want to thank you for your use of the word asshattery. You have totally made my day.

That is all.

11 06 2008
keiranzma

Oh. And teenagers seriously suck.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Everytime i see a teenage black girl…i always wonder “damn is that how I acted when i was 16”? ew.. and i swear if I get another 17 yr old boy say “what your man gotta do with me” or “age aint nothing but a number we all grown in the bedroom” I’m going on a teenager killing spree!

11 06 2008
Knatural

The Juvenile Curfew Act of 1995. Basically, they need to keep their asses home after midnight. This “act” has been around since I was a teen and I’ve never seen it enforced.
Mrs. Epps – more like Chinatown. They live outside Zengo along with every other crazy person who rides the 70 bus.
The Doc – by citizen’s arrest, do you mean ass-whoopings? I hope so.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

I’m 31…and I do not fuck with anyone younger than 25…and 25 only if they’re a MATURE 25. The only exception to this rule is my 23 year old sister, and she only became that exception within the last year or so. And I couldn’t STAND her during her teenage years…boldness, pseudo-maturity, and stupidity all rolled into one…

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

I meant to mention that as well Knat WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!! a few weeks back me and my man went and got dinner down that way and this dude could have been more than 18yrs old decides to grab my arm to go talk to him not only did snatch my self from him but pushed his crusty ass tot he ground. MAN O MAN my husband was about to whoop some ass that night to and he;s not a fighter but he sho as hell was gonna whoop ass that night for grabbign me that night. Now if we go out he puts his arm around my waist..i guess thats the “I’m her man she my lady fucking kick rocks” thing huh hahah ^_^

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

couldnt* i mean…not could

11 06 2008
sarah

this guy i went to Jr High school with recently moved down the street from me, so we occasionally ride the train to work together. usually, we run into a group of ignorant ass teenagers and the look of annoyance on his face is the funniest thing. so, we started to talk about how we were back in jr high/high school and we both deduced that we were just as annoying. i think the only difference is that homosexuals openly hit on one another.

true story on the train, this little dom girl, about 15, was walking up the escalator in front of me and this other girl, about her age, was standing on right side with her friend. i was expecting the dom girl to make eyes at the seemingly straight chick, but it was the other way around. “Oh, she so cute!” my mind was blown.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

HA, Knatural I’m originally from Philly…where it’s pretty much understood that proper arrest procedure is gonna involve an ass whoopin

11 06 2008
sarah

i LURVE Zengo, but i never go cause you have to pass through a wall of the scruffiest looking pseudo-thugs to get in. i grew up near chinatown, so it hurts my heart to see what is has turned into.

11 06 2008
Dustin

Generally, all children should be stripped of their vocal chords and put to work.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

what I hate the most is going to six flags..and i love sixflags…but there are way to many skany ass teenage girls walking around that bitch along with the hand full off teenage boys tryna chase the girls…blah…

11 06 2008
Natalie

I was on the Metro last Friday when these two girls got on my car and had a conversation the entire car could hear while one of kept loudly popping her gum. Then whenever I closed my eyes she popped the gum even louder which was incredibly annoying. I remember one of them saying she forgot her keys and they would have to go back. But of course these idiots never got off the train and didn’t get off until my destination (Metro Center). Then one of the two, the non-gum popper who was sitting closest to me, was apologizing—but half-assedly—for her friend’s behavior. The fact she looked like a token black character on “Rainbow Brite” as she was telling me this did not decrease my rage :-/

11 06 2008
Knatural

Wow. I was planning to go to Six Flags next weekend. I forgot about those fucking teenagers. Maybe I’ll do Kings Dominion instead. I need my rollercoaster fix…soon.

Zengo, my inner-fat is back. Sarah, go on a Sunday, the Mango Mojitos are worth the teenage onslaught.

POPPING GUM!?! I. Hate. This. So. Much. *Goosfraba* When adults do it, it’s worse. I always think God is testing my ability to remain non-violent when I’m forced to share space with a gum-popper.

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

People often ask me why I don’t have kids and if I want to have children. My answer is always I would love to have kids, but I would hate to have teenagers. End of story. I wasn’t a bad teenager partly because most teenaged stuff got on my nerves whne I was a teen. I always got “most mature” as a superlative so go figure. Anywho, I love chillin’ with my 7 year old neice because even she hates teenagers and I quote, “Ugh, Auntie. Why teenagers gotta act like they think they grown. They ain’t grown. The just big kids that think they grown.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

“Ugh, Auntie. Why teenagers gotta act like they think they grown. They ain’t grown. The just big kids that think they grown.”

I misquoted the baby!

11 06 2008
Natalie

@Knatural

Yeah it’s definitely worse when adults do it, which is why I have to restrain myself from yelling at my mom when she gets her hand on a stick of gum, haha.

11 06 2008
Angel30

Speaking of bad a** kids – did anyone see this?
http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/23/son-slaps-mom-on-dr-phil

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Knat!!!!!!! OMGG hahah thats hilarious.. we were talking about going to Six Flags next weekend as well lol…I also need my rollercoaster fix.. its been to long…Kings Dominion Ah yes! we added that to mixing bowl for the end of June. Girl keep in mind teenagers are just like AIDS they are spreading everywhere even more so at Kings Dominion..plus i think we will save gas and make the 8 minute trip to Six Flags…we live to close to it not to go!

Gum Popping…i wont front i was guilty of this when I was a teenager btu i never did it in a quite area liek the train or bus..I did it because it got on my mom’s nerves and she said i chewed like a cow grazing lol…for the record I havent popped my gum for yrs 🙂

11 06 2008
Lindsay

@ Mrs Epps –

Not “we all grown in the bedroom”! Stop it. I thought I’d heard it all from teenaged boys thinking I was their age.

11 06 2008
Omar

“Why does a wedding dress make a woman seem just a hair away from going completely apeshit?” – As a married man and having gone to a number of weddings, this is absolutely true they are a hair away from going apeshit.

11 06 2008
Lindsay

And as a teenager, I was guilty of spending my free days at Six Flags (I’ve been working since age 14.).

I had a season pass every year from ages 14 to 18, and lived down the street. (Largo, stand up!)

BUT, neither I, nor my friends, was the type of teen described in this post.

11 06 2008
sarah

its even worse at the mall. they arent really there to buy anything moreso than to overdress to atract boys/girls. you see them walking around the mall in the tightest jeans with the tiniest BeBe bag or crowding the food court cause they only have enough money to eat. stupid kids, but i cant help but to laugh cause me and my friends and cousins did the same thing when we were 14.

that being said, since patterns tend to repeat, i have made a conscious decision to not have kids. as much as i love the kids, imma try my hardest not to have any. just the thought scares the shit out of me.

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Knde – for real? Oriental Asians? Do better.

I can’t get urban dictionary at work (praise God). What’s a Ginger?

I have a rule, well known to all of my friends and family: I do not watch kids that I cannot beat. This rule has served me well. I’ve never had to beat a child. I’ve had to jack one or two of them up, but never a full fledged beating. However, the rule ensures that the child knows that a beating is a viable option that I have no problem exercising. I have a few looks/glances that remind said child of this fact whenever he/she starts behaving like they’ve forgotten. It is for this reason (along with the crappy pay) that I do not teach. I truly see them calling Barbara Ann to tell her that this happened: http://www.news-daily.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=2&ArticleID=24232

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Lindsay girlllll..smh yes i thought i heard it all until i heard that one.. im like umm arent you in high school little boy?? of course he got mad and said “Whatever bitch..you wasnt that cute anyway” I LOL soooooo hard and said “Bitch? I gottcha bitch..and i obviously i was cute 2 seconds ago when you used that wack ass line you ol leperchaun from the hood looking ass nigga”! Ok now i know i should have kept it classy and walked off..but i was having a bad day as it was and felt the urge to stomp all over his parade..you should have seen his face when i said that…

11 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHA Oriental Asians. I think she meant the Chinese, Japanese, Korean variety, as opposed to Southeast Asians like Indians, Thai, etc. Still funny though.
That Dr. Phil clip – not even funny. How did the mom NOT beat him on the spot with her chair? How does it get that bad that her child slapped her in the face?

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“Anywho, I love chillin’ with my 7 year old neice because even she hates teenagers and I quote, “Ugh, Auntie. Why teenagers gotta act like they think they grown. They ain’t grown. The just big kids that think they grown.”

Truer words have never been spoken.”

ishouldbeworking…I love your niece…that baby got SO much sense!

Ginger=natural redhead (pale, usually w/freckles)

11 06 2008
klysha

I’m with Pisces girl. I’m 31 and it’s difficult for me to be in the presence of anyone under 25 for a prolonged period of time. (Except a few of my newer co-workers who are between 23-25 who are pretty cool and one younger cousin). I just can’t imagine having been as annoying as today’s teenagers when I was younger. But that was like half my lifetime ago so I may have forgotten. I used to want to be a teacher when I was a kid but looking at the state of today’s youth I am so glad I came to my senses.

11 06 2008
Deesigner

Angel30,

I saw that Dr. Phil show where that little boy slapped his Mama, I expected the next scene to come from the county jail or the coroners offices but nope that simple broad just sat there and finished arguing with him. In the off chance that my kid lifted his hand to me they would STILL be looking for his body.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

PrettyPiscesGirl (14:21:16) :

“I’m 31…and I do not fuck with anyone younger than 25…and 25 only if they’re a MATURE 25. ”

Co-sign! Shoot, I’m 26 and most of my friends are older – late 20s, early 30s. The only problem with events marketed as 25+ though is they seem to only attract 40+ year olds. I’m not interested in junior or gramps, so I think I need to start my own club for 25-35 only! :-p

11 06 2008
Deesigner

Yonnie have you ever slapped Barbara Ann?

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

I agree Lindsay, I can’t excuse the behavior because I KNOW I didn’t act like that as a teen. My group of friends went out and had fun, but we definitely weren’t loud, vulgar, under-dressed, etc.

11 06 2008
Knatural

So true. 25+ events should be renamed 35+ events. And I never go to anything that says “18 to party, 21 to drink”. Please. Sorry for being snobbish, but I don’t really want to mingle with teenyboppers.

Barbara Ann, I’m sure she never got slapped. She sounds like she used to beat you with a house-shoe.

11 06 2008
Monie

Knde,

I don’t know what “Oriental Asians” you know but some of the loudest freakin people I have ever heard in my life are Asians.

I don’t even own a cell phone. I had one a long time ago but then I realized I didn’t want to be available to talk to all the time. I mean when I’m grocery shopping I don’t want to talk. When I’m on public transportation I don’t want to talk. I darn sure don’t want to talk while I’m walking down the street. So what was the point for me to have a cell!

As far as teens go; despite popular belief I really don’t think they are any worse than any previous generation. The amazing thing is that people always thing the newest crop of teens is the worst ever. I’ve seen documentaries about the 1950’s and people were saying the kids were totally out of control.

11 06 2008
Angel30

Designer, re: Dr. Phil clip, I’m with Knatural – I probably would have picked up the chair & smacked his a** & then started choking him like Homer does Bart Simpson. I know White people let their kids get away with more stuff than anyone else on the planet, but damn! The 1st time he pointed his finger or raised his voice he would have been on the floor. Then he had the nerve to say “your not the complete boss of me” – little boy, I put the breath in your body & I will snatch it out if you don’t shut the hell up. But he probably got a lot of that behavior from his dad (who’s obviously not around anymore) treating his mom like that. Damn shame.

11 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I’m 31…and I do not fuck with anyone younger than 25…and 25 only if they’re a MATURE 25.”

Please define “mature 25.”

With me being exactly that age, I’ve always wondered how much of my inner child continues to escape to the outside…

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

The boy on Dr. Phil..smh…jesus wept when the mother didnt yoke that little fattie up! Man I dare one of my future kids do some shit like that…they would have been dead and i would have been long gone to mexico lol…His ass foreal woulda bit the ground when he raised his finger and told me to shut up..this is an example of why white ppl dont need children..they have them but then cant control them…smh

11 06 2008
Cheekie

“My black ass could’ve been sitting there clutching a bloody butcher knife while wearing a wedding dress covered with hundreds of severed cocks and she still would’ve sat next to me.”

Please someone make a movie about a serial killer who rocks this outfit.

11 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

That boy wouldn’t have even dared to even RAISE his hand at me. He would’ve been in the hospital with two broken arms and possible stab and gunshot wounds phucking with me!

But I think the best punishment for him would’ve been 20 laps around a big empty field, and if he didn’t finish, I’d beat his fat ass with a bag of beef jerky. Snap into a slim jim indeed. He wouldn’t know whether to be happy or cry. I’ve always been a proponent of psychological torture to discipline wayward crotchfruit.

11 06 2008
london

you know the worst thing about london town at the moment…
it’s kids under sixteen being able to travel on buses for free.. nada.. nothing.. nowt…
what has happened is that the buses have become their playground.. and you know kids do not respect anything they do not pay for….
it is hell morning, noon and night and all the hours in between…
i used to hate gangs of tourists clogging up the buses…
now its herds of children on the top flight of the bus tearing it up.. with the obligatory ‘fat ugly attention seeking one’ making the most noise and trying to abuse other passengers who happen to glance their way..
it’s when they get to places like brixton they have to shut up though – you know some little old black lady is going to beat one of them with her cane… they have to fix up quick coming south…
i think the general public should take the streets and transport systems back… we are too scared of the kids perceived rights – in my family, you had no rights unless you paid rent…
i say fuck them all up on sight when they are doing wrong… ring the schools.. id them to the teachers.. and follow it up..
if i got into trouble outside the home – you’d be sure my mother would fuck me up good when i got home… and then my father would come home…
no misdemeanour was ever worth three rounds of yellings and the threat of beatings on top for shaming the family..
kids don’t know they have been born…

11 06 2008
Deesigner

“Barbara Ann, I’m sure she never got slapped. She sounds like she used to beat you with a house-shoe.”

HOUSE-SHOE !!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Mature 25” = oxymoron,
Jus’ Jokin’

11 06 2008
Knatural

Maturity isn’t measured by how much you repress (such as your inner child) but more about what you embrace. Being yourself and comfortable in your own skin is most mature, something I’m still learning and I’m only 27 and a half. My half birthday was Sunday! YAY! We spend too much time trying to figure shit out instead of just accepting it, and moving on. Maturity is about balance and having your act together in all aspects. To me.

11 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

One day, I was in Wally World and I saw this white woman beat the living daylights out of her child for sassing her. A tear came to my eye to see that she had enrolled in the “whoop a kids ass academy” with my mom.

Craziest whoopins in my house:

When my little brother was 2, my mom was whooping him and somehow, he managed to escape her run upstairs, pull out one of his belts and try to spank hisself. My mom finally caught him and said, “Hmmm, you ain’t hitting hard enough, lemme show you…” WHAP!

another time, my brother was about 14/15 years old, and he was sitting next to my mom one minute, saying something smartass to her and within a millisecond, all I see is my 4’11” mom standing over him with a big ass throw pillow and thrashing him across the head with it. It happened so quick, I was stunned. In one swing, she swung the pillow from my brother to my head, talmbout “And don’t you laugh either!”

11 06 2008
Angel30

Okay, I have to show the other side for good measure. This is what happens when we let the government run what goes on in our homes. I wouldn’t have been saying “I would whoop him if I didn’t think I’d go to jail.” I’d have been ON THE NEWS whoopin’ that ass as a warning to other kids who might THINK about doing something so stupid. And if I went to jail, oh well, at least his bad ass would be out of my house.
http://www.komotv.com/home/video/18315669.html?video=pop&t=a

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

knat I love you! I thought I was the only one who celebrated my half birthday!

11 06 2008
Angel30

Rev, those stories are priceless – you’re gonna get me fired laughing so loud

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“Please define “mature 25.”

With me being exactly that age, I’ve always wondered how much of my inner child continues to escape to the outside…”

Nothing wrong with the inner child, Chris…mine still exists and can and will come out should I be bored/tired/mad or all of the above (bored is the most common). That inner child has helped not lose it all completely thus far…

Mature 25 for me is…you are a bill paying, tax paying, voting adult. Your primary topics of convo in polite company don’t consist of: the newest hip-hop song/album/beef or the rent-a-rims you just got on your vehicle. You are far enough removed from college (or high school) to remember it as a fun time in your life, but one you aren’t necessarily trying to go back to anytime soon (visits=good, hanging out and all the freshmen know you=bad). You pretty much have a vision for where you see yourself in the next 5-10 years. I can take you somewhere formal with me, and you have a sense of decorum (though you may be inwardly laughing at all the fucktards in the room).

This is not an exhaustive list…and I evaluate on a case-by-case basis. Luckily, most of my friends and I have known each other since we were 19-20 years old, so we’ve gone through our “growing pains” together…and we don’t care to be reminded sometimes LOL.

11 06 2008
london

i have seen that footage before..
7 damn years old… mr t looking mofo..
‘i yanked the thing’ kills me every time..
they would be filming his funeral and my sentencing…
you know, i bet his grandmother saved his arse..
they do that shit… switch on you..
‘leave my grandchild alone’ and then blame you for their shortcomings…

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

SLAP BARBARA ANN!!?? ldkfoew awjsewflaeo sdjlkfowefsl kdoweafsldek @#$%!!!&%$#.

Heeeeeelllllllll Naw. That heffa is crazy!! Who do you think I got that look from? The one that says….”keep it up if you think I won’t lay you OUT!!!”

I don’t think I ever got beat with a house shoe. Barbara Ann’s weapon of choice was the wooden cooking spoon….Yeah….you heard me. WOOD!! Not a leather belt. Not some flimsy shoe. A stick of wood. I watch the news sometimes and I hear things that these parents are arrested for and I think, “THAT’S ABUSE??” They makin’ these kids SOFT nowadays!

One of my co-workers said her kid’s teacher called her and said, “Your son said that he is afraid of what his father will do if I give him a bad report.” The teacher was basically calling to see if some type of abuse was going on. My co-worker (the mom) was embarrasses/worried. I was like, you shoulda told her, “HELL YEAH – his little ass need to be scared.” What does the teacher want the kid to say? “Tell my dad, he ain’t gon’ do $hit!!” They makin’ them SOFT I tell you!

11 06 2008
Deesigner

I think that we discussed LaTarian’s little fat car stealing, cigarette smoking, “hood-rat stuff” doing ass a few weeks ago. He was sentanced to a severe beat down by every black adult that he encounters ’til 09.

11 06 2008
Quiet Storm

mrs. kennedy:”I don’t understand why its okay to look/dress/smell like baby prostitutes. Where are the parents of these whores in training?”

Oh s*&^, I almost choked on my tea when I read that.

The Doc: “The only problem with events marketed as 25+ though is they seem to only attract 40+ year olds. I’m not interested in junior or gramps, so I think I need to start my own club for 25-35 only!”
KNatural: “So true. 25+ events should be renamed 35+ events.”

Yo, I thought I was the only one who thought this. I hate when I’m dancing and someone old enough to be my father/grandfather tries to be all up on me and think I want them because I’m staring at them. Negro, I’m giving you the wtf look, not a ‘come hither’ look and I’m also wondering how long you are going to last on the dance floor *shudders*. Some of them have the nerve to even lie about their age. Dumb asses.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Oh snap…crotchfruit…I’m stealing and adding to my vocab NOW!

11 06 2008
Muse

I have two sisters, who are 15 and 16 years old. My youngest sister is a douchebag who hangs out with obnxious snobs. She whines, talks loudly on the phone, acts spoiled, and thinks that her life is all about cheerleading and parties. Now my 16 year old sister is a walking genius who is humble and hangs out with other teenagers who actually give a shit about the world. They are a very creative group but not in the creepy kind of way. To no one’s suprirse the 15 and 16 year old fight a lot.

11 06 2008
Deesigner

Hey, I’m 37 does that make me the old broad at the club?

Or the old broad on this board?

Damn, Damn, Damn…..

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahaha dont get me started on my memories of getting my ass whooped by my mom..MAMA NO!!!!! ok I got one

I think i was in 4th or 5th grade when this happend. Well I was latch key kid growing up and my mom would tell me that I couldnt have friends over after school or go to anyones house after school unless i asked her. Well one day i didnt ask my mom if my bestfriend could come over.. so we were chillin watching cartoons doing our homework and playing with each others hair until i heard keys jingle in the door..it was my mom’s boyfriend well now my step-dad and i ran to the door and put the chain on and told my friend to hide in the closet…he was at the door telling me to let him in and yada yada i was pushing my friends stuff in the closet so he wouldnt know she was there. So i let him in…. he jumps in the shower and then leaves back out…she comes out the closet. We was cheering like shit saying “what what” we got away with it! and giggled about it for 5 mins. Later she went home and i thought we were off scott free and i would see her tomorrow when our parents were gonna take us to six flags well it was called Adventure World or either Wild World then. Well that night my mom got a call from my friends mom saying that her litte sister was locked out the house the whole time she was over our house and her little sister basically snitched on us.. MANNNNN my mom told me to go in my room i knew it was overrrrr i was crying before i even got my ass beat! She came in and started whaling on me like no bodys bizz! Maaaan the window was open like shit and when i went back to school Monday all the kids in my neighborhood knew about it..I was like fuck and tried to play it off and say it was the tv LMAO

11 06 2008
Muse

BTW most teenagers disturb the crap out of me. I mentor at an an urban highschool on weekends to help these kids get into college (I know very cliche) and hearing these kids talk shocks the hell out of me. One time this chick was venting to her girlfriends because her baby daddy was seeing someone else. Another time when I was a mentor at USC, this 13 year old who was in my mentor group was discussing how unfair it was that she had to give her man head but he wouldn’t return the favor. A piece of my soul died. When I was 13 years old my biggest concern was getting the toys or going to tea parties. Geez.

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Deesigner – this board is pretty diverse, so I think you’re good.

But I think you may be pushing it at the club. I’m only 27, so its hard to say what I’ll be doing at 37 aka damn near 40 (single, married, kids, who knows). In any case, I think you might want to try and diversify your sources of weekend entertainment.

11 06 2008
Muse

Mrs. Epps I posted that Dr. Phil episode with that fat fuck who slapped the shit out of his mother. Just wow. I showed that clip to my momma and she asked me to find the mother’s contact so she can offer to beat that kids ass for her. I had a total of 5 or 6 asswhoopings my whole life but damn it I remember each asswhooping. I have a healthy fear of my parents to this very day.

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Muse, nooooo. Not a baby talking about giving head? I might’ve hurled right then and there. In those cases, I feel like by the time they get to be pre-teens and teenagers, its too late…sadly. You got to catch them early to let them know that just b/c your mom talks like this/does these things at home with her friends – it is NOT OKAY – Lemme show you another way.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Right @ Muse…I remember every whooping I ever got from my parents..even thought now my mom tries to have selective memory of these events lol

Ass Whoopings Produce Better Adults…

that is all…

11 06 2008
thechad1911

I think teenage boys are way worse than the girls. Its the opposite extreme. Girls talk too damn much while the boy apparently don’t know any words. I work at a restaurant and I can’t tell you how many times i’ve wanted to choke a kid because i ask him a question and he looks at me like i’m speaking sign language or some shit.

And when’s the appropriate age for a young black male to start smiling in public. Why these kids gotta be hard all the damn time!

“You bangin’ on bacon ni***!?” – Katt Williams

11 06 2008
Deesigner

Thanks, Yonnie (I think)

I’m married so we do most of our entertaining at home or attend cultural events with other couples, but we occassionally like to get our dance on and head to the hot spot.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Caring about something outside of yourself=maturity

Most teenagers’ convos are irritatingly banal…

11 06 2008
Muse

Yeah kids are oversexed these days. I usually tell the young females that I mentor that their body is a temple and the last thing they need to be concerned with is having sex. I try to keep it real with them and advise them that boys don’t even know what they are doing until age 25 anyway. Besides a lot of sex between teenagers is usually all about pleasing the boy. Hell I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 years old so I cannot imagine some little kid fucking. It makes my stomach turn actually.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“this 13 year old who was in my mentor group was discussing how unfair it was that she had to give her man head but he wouldn’t return the favor. A piece of my soul died. When I was 13 years old my biggest concern was getting the toys or going to tea parties. Geez.”

Muse…a piece of mine just died reading this…

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

13 yr olds talking about giving and getting head.. Shit when i was 13 my mind was so far away from sex esp.giving or getting head..I thought it was gross someone slobbing on the nob like a corn on the cob check in with me before you do your job…ok now i got three-six mafia stuck in my head.. crap lol

11 06 2008
Rev Leon Lonnie Luv

The sad thing is, hearing about a 13 year old girl giving head doesn’t even shock me anymore. Don’t get me started about the time I taught a 7th Grade science class and I had to dim the lights to play a video and all hell broke loose. This YT girl was all in the back getting hot with a mexican boy (they were fondling her and she was laughing and shyt) while this black and white boy were looking on. I turned the lights on, but the bell had rang and them brats hightailed it the hell out of there.

As for going out, I find out the older I get, the more I hate going to the club. Last time I went, I went to Underground Atlanta and had to leave one event when it was raining beer from a random fight. I much prefer house parties around here, and folks throw some hella house parties in the A. I guess since I’m a so called young black urban professional, I’m gonna have to start going to more poetry readings and wine and cheese tastings and shyt.

11 06 2008
Meka

My daughter will be 18 y/o in November & I can’t fucking wait! She has the worst attitude I have ever seen. It is awful. Her good grades are her saving grace…barely. I just want to beat her down.

While cleaning the garage, we found her diary when she was 12. She let me read a passage: I don’t know what it is but Moma just annoys me. If she weren’t 18 years older than me and my Moma I would give her a piece of mind. I fell out. But then I told her to make a move. Then I put her ass in a headlock. Just a little something for her little ass (she is taller than me) to think about the next time she considers giving me a piece of her mind. Heifer!

11 06 2008
Monie

“And when’s the appropriate age for a young black male to start smiling in public. Why these kids gotta be hard all the damn time!” – thechad1911

That’s true but look at the music they listen to; there are no rap love songs. BET and the media promote hardness. Even R&B singers are hard. Most kids, especially inner city kids are socialized to not show any emotion except anger.

11 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Co-co-co-sign the hatred of teens as a teen. Even though I was a self-asborbed, angsty bitch-goddess myself with too much lip-liner and too much bleached hair as a teen, I was WAY too concerned with passing for a college student and being “mature” to act an ass in public like most teens do. I had my moments, but I had a maturity to me that I don’t see in these little girls today. At my worst, I was lotion, compared to them being ash.

And with the brief exception of the times I wore Cool Water for Women, I smelled DAMN good as a teenager! If you could bottle butch lesbianism, it would smell like Cool Water for Women.

I get along well with teens because I know how to talk to them or how to just fuck their day up. Unless they look like they will harm me or my property, I will check some Black kids in a heartbeat because I care about them so much. Kids of all ages just love me though, I’m like the cool big sister/aunt. I would have told that little White girl to shut the fuck up though.

11 06 2008
aceklub

Dr. Phil would have been mad at my parents b/c his hour long show would have been all of 20 seconds and then the TV would have beeped like the emergency broadcast system but that shyt would not have been a test.

11 06 2008
sdg1844

I DESPISE Teens w/the intensity of a thousand white hot Suns. Hated them when I was a teen and do to this day. There is nothing more crude, rude inconsiderate and annoying that a Teen.

11 06 2008
Sister Toldja

As for the kids giving head thing….sheesh. When I taught 7th grade, I had a student who was not conventionally attractive and very abrasive (loved fighting). She also was alll over the boys hugging them all day. She learned that her source of boy attention would come from her sexuality, because she didn’t have the ‘pretty’ looks they fell all over. One day, I confiscated a note from her and on it, she had written that she was the ‘queen of bop’, she had the ‘bop game on lock’, etc, etc. She wouldn’t tell me what it meant, but one of her friends did and it was giving head! I had to go have a drink immediately. This is part of the reason I cant work in education anymore, you will lose your mind.

The problem is (in addition to the over-sexualized imagery in media designed for their age and their negligent parents) that middle schoolers go straight from “I hate boys/girls” to “I want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend”, with no time in between spent getting to know the opposite sex and build friendships. They don’t know what they are getting into, they are just immitating what they see in videos or what they think adults do.

11 06 2008
Muse

Then there are female on tv like Paris Hilton, Superhead/Karrine Steffans, and Kim Kardasian who become rich and famous for sicking dick on camera, a lot of young teenagers think that using the body is another avenue to get what they want out of life. That is why I totally love Michelle Obama because she is showing little Black girls everywhere that you don’t have to be slut or a video girl to make it in this world.

11 06 2008
Knatural

“Ass Whoopings Produce Better Adults…”-Muse
I have to disagree…*cowers in corner*
I receive MAYBE five spankings/whoopings/slaps-in-the face my whole life, because the fear of disappointing my parents was so deeply instilled. Plus, I was sneaky, um, I mean, clever. I hope I don’t have to whoop my kids. My husband wants to. I’m hoping threats, dirty looks, and knuckle-plucks will be enough, they were for me.
Teens giving head? There was girl at my junior high (8th or 9th grade) that was caught by a administrator in the stairwell near my locker blowing a set of twins. Both of them. At school. if you’re a teenage hoe, don’t be a hoe at school, c’mon.

11 06 2008
Muse

Knat, Mrs. Epps made that comment not me. I’ve received like 5-6 beatings my whole life…

11 06 2008
letinstar

one day last week on my way home from work, i was crossing over from the redline to the orange….it’s very noisy with the the trains passing through and all the rush hour foot traffic, so i can barely hear myself think…as i get to the orange line side, i hear the loudest screetchings like maybe cats are somehow stuck on the train tracks…NOPE…it’s 2 teenage girls hollering like they have no home training…there’s a spilled soda on the platform and one girl’s is screaming, “i know what school you go to”, while the other one is on the train screaming from the INSIDE of the train, “bitch, blah, blah, blah”…

long story short, the train sat there for nearly 20 minutes while the cops had to be dispatched…

i have daily run ins with teenagers on the public transit and it is just sad how the the “n” word is used, how bad english is mangled in general, the saggy pants, the body parts busting out of the clothes they wore to school…

i’ve also seen them eat FULL meals on the train/bus….and let me just say, chinese food + teen hormone funk+close quarters on the train/bus is a lethal combo…

as for brides going apeshit, i don’t have an explanation for why the need o be a bridezilla…my best friend has been married 3 times and each wedding has been more of an event than the last one…i don’t get it and i don’t try to get it…

i

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Generations repeat itself you guys..when I was in middle school as a six grader one of the girls in my class was pregnant. I didnt believe her because was always this sneaky ass latina girl…well i believed her after she brang the baby to school..i was like damn…girls were slutty as hell espacially the white girls that i went to school with from 6th grade-12th grade buch of whores… back when i wa sin 11th grade i was the softball team captin and during practice the little fast ass 9th graders would talk about how they had threesomes with guys I was friends with! There was this one white girl Bethany yes i used that sluts name! that bicth use to get on my fucking nerves..she was real cute but a fucking BCC whore and she would piss me off everytime she wanted to talk shit to me so one day during Ceramics CLASS i wrote in big letters “BETHANY IS HERPS WHORE” lol i worte it because i knew she would see it since she had the class after me and she always wrote on the board “Bethany was here” bitch cried about it at practice afterschool..I was laughing my ass off…

11 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Mrs.Epps, did you spell it “HERPS WHORE”, cause that would make the story SOOOO much funnier! LOL!!!

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

In regards to black boys/men smiling, I ran across this article today at work:
http://essence.typepad.com/news/2008/06/black-men-quiet.html

11 06 2008
A.K.

The difference between Shabooty and everyone’s favorite Angry Native:

1) Shabooty would have popped wood sitting next to a delightfully underage girl in booty shorts who smelled like Britney’s cooter.

2) Shabooty would have already e-mailed her by now asking her what she’s up to.

3) Shabooty would know about the party on Friday since it he was throwing it at his house. Beast Lite all around!

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

haha i said that Knat not MUse ^_^…what i mean by ASS WHOOPING PRODUCE BETTER ADULTS.. I mean for this generation because they are totally out of control. When I was growing up or parents only had to tell us once..because seriously who wants to get their ass whoops all the time.. but shit kids today need a beating a day..I feel ya on the whole not wanting to beat your kids..well ma dear sometimes you got to to get throught to them…its funny because for me it the other way around i wanna whoop ass while my husband want to play good cop. rolls eyes.. he does that shit with his daughter the no-tapping her on her ass…she is beyond spoiled and smart mouthed at the age of 5 truning 6 so who knows how it will be when she’s 16!

11 06 2008
Knatural

Sorry Muse. That happens to you a lot, huh, people always putting words in your mouth.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol ST yes i did spell it like that hahaha I was writing fast before my teacher saw it was me before the bell rang hahah all my friends saw it and laughed like shit and whenever they saw her that would be say “HERPS WHORE” cough cough and laugh…damn i was a bitch…

11 06 2008
Landon

Were we not the same when we were teenagers in our parents eyes how we view these kids now?
My lil cousin just graduated from high school but he has never had a Job… hes 17?
I had my first job when i was 12/13 (caddying)…. My brother had a paper route at 12… My dad called us lazy because he had a job at 9… Of course my smart ass mouth got me in trouble when i retorted CHILD WORK SAFTEY LAWS WERENT ESTABLISHED yet in the DARK AGES… and my dad proceed to pull his belt off… I swear if there was A Black Parent Olympics, my dad would have taken the GOAL for BELT WHOPPING competetion… his accuracy was uncanny. He could hit the same spot back to back to back with his eyes close.

but nonetheless each generation is going to say the same about the next generation. Most of us are in are upper 20’s… when we have kids… what are they going to be like?

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

omg what did i just type..”they would be say” wow i need a vaction…

11 06 2008
Merri Lee

Rev Leon Lonnie Luv (13:43:53) :

I was a substitute teacher for about a year teaching America’s fuck trophies.

fuck trophies??? LOL DFKJLDJGODSJFLSJFSJLF;SJFLKSJLFDSLDKFJSLKDFSLK

11 06 2008
Landon

GOAL = GOLD!

11 06 2008
sarah

i agree with Mrs Epps. generations do repeat themselves. this generation of kids is no more slutty/loud/obnoxious than ours and the one before. the only difference is that kids have become more brazen. when i was in elem, there was a token pregnanat girl (latina) who dropped out in the sixth grade. these days, pregnant 12 yr olds dont seem to be so embarrassed about it.

on the train yesterday, some teen with what i guessed to be ADD sat next to me. a lady in a wheelchair was in front of us on oxygen. the oxygen tank was in back of the chair and i almost died when the boy went to grab it, as if to turn it off. he also had the nerve to smile at me.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Landon-Were we not the same when we were teenagers in our parents eyes how we view these kids now?
My lil cousin just graduated from high school but he has never had a Job… hes 17?

shit by the time i was 17 i was paying rent at my parents house! I have a friend who finally got her 1st job at 20..damn shame really…I got my 1st job when I was 15.

11 06 2008
Monie

Yonnie3k,

Thanks that was an interesting piece.

11 06 2008
Knatural

*raises hand*
I didn’t have a job ’til I was 18. I wanted to work but wasn’t allowed to because Mom wanted me to focus on school. That’s funny, because I had a job during college, too. Idiot.

Whoever mentioned prom dresses has upset me. Why are parents allowing their daughters to leave the house wearing handkerchiefs? Aren’t girls usually deflowered on prom night?

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sarah-on the train yesterday, some teen with what i guessed to be ADD sat next to me. a lady in a wheelchair was in front of us on oxygen. the oxygen tank was in back of the chair and i almost died when the boy went to grab it, as if to turn it off. he also had the nerve to smile at me.

that nigglet was “finna” get high! hahah

11 06 2008
Merri Lee

I will never understand how teens have NO common courtesy. I got on a full bus, so I had to stand. Then a pregnant woman holding a baby with two little kids in tow gets on the bus. Damn near every one on the bus is a black male under 21, NO ONE got up to let her sit down. ANGER LEVER = off the charts

11 06 2008
sarah

mrs. epps, wish we could take credit for that one, but he was white.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Merri Lee-I will never understand how teens have NO common courtesy. I got on a full bus, so I had to stand. Then a pregnant woman holding a baby with two little kids in tow gets on the bus. Damn near every one on the bus is a black male under 21, NO ONE got up to let her sit down. ANGER LEVER = off the charts

that makes my blood boil..its like come on use your brain fuck! Atleast the guys in my Class still had some sort of manners when it came to old ladies and men and women with children or pregnant. geez

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

@ Landon…if I EVER have kids, those little mofos will NOT be the ones walking around acting stupid…they’ll be the ones complaining about “My mama is mean” and if they raised their hand to me…I’ll be on vacation courtesy of the Texas Penal System.

I was one of those kids who hated to disappoint my mom…being that she was a single parent and worked so hard. All she had to do was give me a LOOK…I would go sit my tail down somewhere, be real quiet, and hope she had a change of heart…usually worked. One time I did some shit that made her cry…that messed me up to this day. I received maybe about 10 whoopins’ the whole time until age 10. After that, if I did something wrong (which was rare, and if I did, I’d blame it on my sister), she’d give me the silent treatment for a few days. I preferred that…plus, I’d usually chill…I didn’t want to see what she’d do if I REALLY acted up.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sarah i had a feeling he was white…damn damn damn…white kids are seriosuly ill though…shooting up school, drinking cough syrup,making bombs, stealing oxygen tanks of old ladies whellchairs..whats next trying to crowd surf on a bus or train…for the record Crowd surffing is fun..I did it once at a Tech N9ne concert it was like floating on clouds until security helped me down..

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

SMH and clutching my pearls thinking about these young girls giving head. Too bad they don’t realize that they’re signing up for a lifetime of trying to please men that most likely won’t ever give half a damn about pleasing them.

“…that middle schoolers go straight from “I hate boys/girls” to “I want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend”, with no time in between spent getting to know the opposite sex and build friendships.”~ Sista Toldja, ITA with this.

An 80s baby I remember my male/female relationships from K-12 grade evolving like this:

Yuck-boys are gross—>I’m smarter than boys—> I’m smarter and I can run faster than boys—>Boys smell funny—>Boys aren’t that bad—>Some of my friends are boys—>Boys are cute—>Holding hands on the bus—>Kissing at the park—>I want a boyfriend

I was no angel but I wasn’t a flaming whore either. Every time I see a fastassed girl these days I just want to pour some water on her to cool her off and then take her shopping for age appropriate but fashionable clothing. I blame society but I blame the parents first because parents can control their
child(ren)’s access to the dreaded media influences.

Ms. Epps to quote those corny credit card commercials your story is priceless. To bad today’s kids won’t be able to look back at those types of memories.

And you’d think this jarhead boys would have something to smile about considering all the head and silly toys (cell phones, iPods) they have access to. Not to mention no bills or major responsibilities.

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

Merri Lee – did you or anyone else on the bus tell one of those worthless kids to get up?

11 06 2008
Landon

my parent sent me to cahtolic school in this 99% white town called scarsdale… The only other black kids (there was 4 of us in my grade / class) were all from Mt. Vernon or Bronx. I did something stuipd and got a butt whopping from my dad with belt and i was talking about it during lunch…

All the white kids except for my boy Brian who’s mom is OL School irish (from a blue color town)… looked at me as if my parent committed murder. They could not phantom that my Dad hit me nonetheless with a belt.. They said we should call the police. All the black kids and my boy Brian started cracking up laughing… because my dad would be like go ahead call the police… Do you think they will get here in TIME to save your life… HE WAS NOT JOKING>>. he would have killed… me… He would of Dialed 9-1 and handed me the phone to dial the other 1…

11 06 2008
Merri Lee


Yonnie3k (17:21:16) :

Merri Lee – did you or anyone else on the bus tell one of those worthless kids to get up?
Damn skippy! And they mumbled, “I’m tired,” “BITCH YOU AIN’T KNOW ME!” etc.

Even worse than teens – adults who mentally haven’t left their teen years, I’m not saying Mariah Carey’s name, but we all know people like that.

11 06 2008
Landon

my brain is not working today…

11 06 2008
scarletjones

Really though, these children are waaaay too fast! My nephew recently had his “theatrical debut” in a middle school play the kids put together called “Choices”, which was a series of short skits intended to highlight the need to make good choices in hard situations.*

why did they not only have a number of teen pregnancy skits with ACTUAL pregnant girls performing, but the audience was full of at least 5 recognizably pregnant middle school girls and at least 10 that had their babies with them!

what the french toast is going on?

* in actuality the majority of the skits were so retarded – and clearly made by the kids – that you didn’t really know if there was supposed to be a lesson learned or if they just wanted to show everybody what they do in their spare time: 1.) gangbang 2.) get drunk and have sex 3.) physically abuse their boyfriend/girlfriend 4.) smoke/sell drugs 5.) get pregnant, berate the father to be (father to be calls girl a ho and claims baby isn’t his), and join up in solidarity with other pregnant teen friends to support each other in spite of no-good baby daddies-to-be

11 06 2008
Knatural

Sometimes I don’t feel “old enough” to reprimand teenagers, or dumb-ass adults who behave like teenagers. I just bite my tongue, which just enables these low-lifes. And the one a teen had the audacity to attempt to insult me, I just told him he was ignorant and kept reading my book. I’m such a punk.

11 06 2008
Landon

phantom = fathom

please dont ask how i got them mixed up 😦 shaking my head in shame.

11 06 2008
Knatural

*the one time a teen

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

One of my best friends was a Baltimore middle school teacher (now in PG County). She started an afterschool club for girls. Two things that she did that show exactly why I love her:

1) she asked the girls what was their most prized posession. One said her stereo. She said, “Would you give that boy your stereo.” The girl said, “HELL NO!!” My friend asked – “Well, if you wouldn’t give him your stereo, why would you give him your body? Is that stereo more valuable than you are?” I’m sure that really made the girls think.

2) She was awarding some of the girls for something and told them to dress up for dinner at Red Lobster (yes…I know – but Baltimore Public Schools was not paying for this outing). They showed up with tight, short, barely there clothes on. The next after school meeting, she asked them, “What would you wear if a guy is taking you out on a date.” More of the same – tight and short. Than, she broke out a bunch of magazines. She pointed to the pics and asked what they thought those women did – lawyer, student, video ho, etc. They talked about clothing sending messages and the like. Then she took them to Target (took up donations) and hooked them up with very cute age appropriate clothes. Then they went to some African festival and everyone had a good time. I’m sure those girls won’t forget that.

Personally, I don’t come equipped with that type of diplomacy. I would’ve showed them the video of Chappelle when he say’s, “My mistake, but you ARE wearing a hooker’s uniform.” I tried to find it on youtube to post but couldn’t

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Sarah is right about kids today being more brazen. I don’t think I was all that bad but my friends who were doing dirt were sneaking to do it. They weren’t just acting like they could do whatever they pleased as if they had to answer to no one.

My best friend and I still joke to this day about how I lived out my teenage years vicariously through her. She’d sneak out and go to the club, drink and party, or visit her college boyfriend an hour away and be home before her parents woke up. It wasn’t until we graduated college that I learned the truth about her exploits. She had her fun but she paid for it dearly each and every time. Her mom was so thorough that she reinstated whoopings at the age of 16 just to prove to my friend that she wasn’t playing. It mattered not that my friend towered over her mom and outweighed her by a good twenty pounds. Her mom got down.

That same friend e-mailed me a link to the Dr. Phil Fatty earlier today before I saw it being discussed here. She was fuming about how she wished her nonexistant kids would think about slapping her, let alone on national TV.

11 06 2008
Landon

thats a hell of a teacher… my brother was like that here in NYC… he became so emotional attached but at the same time had so many dissapointing things happen. One of his best students (5th)grade was arrested for Grand Theft Auto (no not the video game)… he was on the record for stealing 5 cars… how old are you in 5th grade 10? 11? it damn near killed my brothers heart… Sadly they need more black male teachers but he just couldn’t do it any more… He need more money to support his family and he was worn out…

11 06 2008
Meka

My daughter will be 18 years old in November and I can’t fucking wait! She has the worst attitude ever. It is awful. Her good grades are her saving grace…barely. I just want to beat her down.

Yesterday we found her old diary from when she was 12. She let me read a passage: I don’t what it is but Moma just annoys me. If she weren’t 18 years older than me and my Moma, I would give her a piece of my mind. I fell out. but then I told her to make a move. Then I put her ass in a headlock. Just a little something for her little ass (she is taller than me) to ponder the next time she considers giving me a piece of her mind. Heifer!

11 06 2008
Landon

Meka (17:45:50) :
If she weren’t 18 years older than me and my Moma, I would give her a piece of my mind. I fell out. but then I told her to make a move. Then I put her ass in a headlock. Just a little something for her little ass (she is taller than me) to ponder the next time she considers giving me a piece of her mind. Heifer!

LMAO — were you in like a half joking mood… or did you put her in a real full nelson cant breath headlock… o rdid you just want to show her that youa re still stronger than her?

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Yonnie, I love your best friend! And Knatural, you’re not a punk. Telling that fool that he was ignorant problem affected him more than he let on.

If you are old enough to know better then you’re old enough to check a silly teenager.

Chris mentioned that he’s 25 earlier. Is anyone else surprised that he’s that young? I thought he was at least my age (a whopping 27) or older. His points of view and wit alone classify him as a mature 25.

Ok, I’m going to do some work now. I’ve been refreshing the page like a mug since I came back from Crackdonald’s. That’s what I get for taking a three post hiatus. 😉

11 06 2008
Meka

Landon, you caught me. I left out that I punched her in her stomach a couple of times and smacked her too. Just love taps. You never know when DCFS might be trolling for “victims.” I needed homegirl to know that she might be taller than me but Moms will fuck a ni**er up. Just need her to know that. I got her so nervous that whenever I make a sudden move, her ass runs for her life.

11 06 2008
Landon

Let me find out you put some combinations on her…. worked the body a little caught her with a couple hooks… some jabs, snapping her head back…

11 06 2008
Landon

To this day….

i am about 6’1 205 and pretty strong go to the gym or whatever… my dad is damn near 70 and smaller than me…. but for some reason i still fear he would beat me in a fight one on one… pulling out some old ARMY move i dont know about breaking my arm…

I sent my dad youtube clip when this lil KID smacked his MOM on DR. Phil… my dad looked at me and said…. I would of shot you… BAM right right there… and would have dropped the gun and said looked what you made me do now..!

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

My mom used to spank me until she found out that pinching was waaaaay more effective and much quieter. She never used a belt or anything like that, her hands were enough.

If my sisters and I were acting up in public she’d just pinch the skin on the back of our upper arm. Holy fuck that used to hurt.

11 06 2008
Knatural

The author of this blog is a grown infant. Not mature at all.

11 06 2008
Meka

Landon, we are from Louisville so I channeled my inner Muhammed Ali/Cassius Clay and had the footwork going…bobbing and weaving…and then I got tired and had to sit my ass down.

11 06 2008
Meka

My daughter used to see kids acking (yeah, I said “acking”) out and she would just stare at them with amazement. One time, she told this little biracial girl (I have two biracial nephews so I know that the inner race war makes these kids BAD.AS.FUCK!!) that if I had been her moma she would have been beat down. Now, we were at a restaurant at the time and I do not condone beating kids in public (cause white folks will tell on you). But I will get that little bit of meat on the underside of the upper arm and pinch the hell out of it. Once, I pinched my daughter so well that she cried so hard no sound came out. Ahhh, those were the days.

11 06 2008
Landon

there was a simpson episode were Marge erased her kids memory card on the Xbox…

On the low that would have absolutly devastated me as a kid… You wipe out my entire seasons of Madden… hell that would work today… If i was dating someone they got mad at me and erased all my draft classes…. I would be so PISSED… but would respect the quite gangsta in that move…

11 06 2008
Deesigner

My sister called the police on my Dad once, when they arrived he told them to take her and her dog with them.

She was 11.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

@Meka – thank you for doing your child and the rest of society a favor by two-piecing her up to let her know that she is *never* too grown! 🙂

all of these kids that these parents are too scared to put hands on are raising children who will one day say the wrong thing to the wrong person as an adult and get that ass stomped!

11 06 2008
Landon

Cried So hard No SOUND CAME OUT… LMAO… wow…

thats like the syllable beating…

DID-N’T I TELL YOU TO STOP CRY-ING OR I WILL GIVE YOU SOME-THING TO CRY A-BOUT!

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

ahahhaha@ Meka!!!! thats is hilarious…damn if your daughter is gonna be 18 then im young enough to be your daughter as well and I’m 20 gonna be 21 in November :-)..

dammit you guys make me feel so damn old..but atleast im older than MR. Smith go me! I dunno about you guys but I see myself as a pretty mature 20 yr old. I pay my bills and mortgage, im graduating college next spring,I vote and stay out of trouble and can hold my liquor even thought the law states im underage..rolls eyes… 🙂 but im still a baby to you guys i guess right..

LMAO@ Grown infant…

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

dammit i did again…that should say young not old..carry on

11 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA@ silent cry and arm fat pinch! I used to get those, and forehead pluckings. But the arm pinch is killer. Just thinking about it I want to cry.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

wow that last sentence was a mess…

i meant to say that the kids of parents, who are too scared to put hands on them, will one day get that ass stomped talking backwards to the wrong person

11 06 2008
scarletjones

and the arm pinch is the worst. that was my mom’s signature move in church when we were little. If you’re ever out somewhere and out of nowhere you hear a child crying their ass off sitting next to a peaceful looking momma you know it was the arm pinch

11 06 2008
Meka

I love to get creative with the discipline. I was pissed that whooping my daughter was like a workout, so I developed the “hands on the wall” method. She had to put her hands on the wall while I whooped her with a belt. If her hands came down, her pants came down. If her hands came down again, the underwear came down. Those were the most restful beatings I have ever given. Another time, my nephew stomped out of the room after my sister told him to do something. Oh hell no! I beat the hell out of his toes with a spatula. His little butt can’t look at a spatula without bursting into tears. Wait a minute…am I a sadist?

11 06 2008
Knatural

Church? My grandma gave the arm pinch in church four/five yrs ago because I fell asleep in church…
I awoke, unsure of my whereabouts, and yelled out “what the hell!”
Sorry, I was bored.

11 06 2008
Landon

You that AUNT no one wanted to visit when they young!

11 06 2008
Landon

Knatural…

GOD rest my grandma soul… because i am quite sure she would have taken me out with some move from the depression era…. that would have taken me out quickly… if I embarrased her at her church like that…

11 06 2008
Deesigner

A toe whoopin with a spatula!

DAMN MEKA!
You sound like my late great grandma, “The Child Beating Champion Of Wisconsin” rest her soul.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

that is soooo what’s up! the foot spank!

i am not even trying to hear what these new age parents are talking about. my son is 1 years old but i will still spank that hand, and when he gets older i will spank that butt. getting him started early. and he knows, even now, when he’s about to get popped because he looks over first before he gets ready to do something bad.

11 06 2008
sarah

co-sign on arm pinches. especially in church. thats a lingering pain. you still feel it hours later.

i was a good child though. i rarely got in trouble. if my mother had to lay hands on me, it was something serious.

11 06 2008
Landon

Deesigner (18:23:02) :

A toe whoopin with a spatula!

DAMN MEKA!
You sound like my late great grandma, “The Child Beating Champion Of Wisconsin” rest her soul.
LMAO…

My Grandma Weapon of choice was the switch ( a small (young) green branch)… she would make you go out and pick it… and it better be the right size or you were in double trouble…

There should be a Spanking Olympics… because I have some family members who would wreck havoc… and get some type of metal…

best form… Meka most creative…. you sure you dont work for the CIA meka…

11 06 2008
Knatural

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Landon.
Sorry, I hate church, always have, probably always will, and to be forced/tricked into going as an adult, I was pissed. So I took a nap. And my grandma has bony fingers, so the arm-fat pinch felt like an ant bite (that makes no sense).
Meka…um, yeah

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I do not condone beating kids in public (cause white folks will tell on you).

Hilarious! And true.

Mrs. Epps – I have a cousin that always sends out emails full of spelling and grammatical errors. And not unimportant emails either. The final straw was when she sent an email that said, “My brother was shoot today.” I emailed her back and told her that if she wanted me to take the time to read her emails, she needed to take the time to spell check and proofread. She doesn’t email me anymore. I’m okay with that.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

PrettyPiscesGirl, I totally feel you about not wanting to disappoint your parents. If I ever made my mom cry I probably would’ve killed myself, I’d take a thousand beatings over that. I was a good kid, so that made me more of a smartass sometimes, whenever I screwed up I was always quick to yell “well at least I’m not out doing drugs or something!”….yeah…my mom couldn’t care less I STILL would get my ass worked over (actually she was more a fan of the pop upside the head than the ass whooping). Later she would just start throwing shit at me, LOL.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Meka LMAOOO you and my mom would have a good laugh together…My Uncle would take my cousins in the bathroom and whoop their ass i would try my hardest not to laugh…man my grand-daddy was hardcore though.. my mom would tell em stories how he would have this pattle with their lastname on it(my grandma still has it) hanging in the kitchen on its own shelf and my granddaddy would whoop their ass up and down the stairs! My grandma would tell us the story of how my youngest uncle was swinging on the water pipe in the basement and my mom told him to get down but he didnt and then the came down and water got everywhere in the basement..he ran away from home for 6 hrs straight cuz he knew is ass was dead. so he trys to sneak back in the house to find my grandfather sitting on his bed his blood boiling with the pattle in his hand…

11 06 2008
Meka

I mean, I just want my talents to be recognized (tears of joy rolls down face)

11 06 2008
Deesigner

I know that we are laughing and joking about this, but why do black people like to brag and boast about how bad we beat our kids?
Is this a holdover from behaviors learned during slavery? I wonder if there is a non-violent way of instiling discipline and a sense of decorum that is as effective as spanking?

BTW, I don’t have children. I am the best Aunt and I have never had to hit my niece or nephews but thet think that I will.

11 06 2008
sarah

ugh, my gramma was the worst for making you pick your own switch.

11 06 2008
11 06 2008
Dustin

No. You need to beat them. Nothing else works. If you do it right once or twice (or five times) you wont have to do it anymore.

11 06 2008
Landon

My friends family is messed… there are 4 of them.

So if Brother A did something wrong – Brother C got beat… Brother C did something Brother B got beat… and so on… and it would switch time to time… It was mental warefare because someone would get beat for no reason… at first they did it to get revenge on their brother(s)… but they realized they could just as easily get a butt whopping… the only way they never got a but whopping is if no one did anything wrong.

11 06 2008
Sister Toldja

I think I was the only post-mid-90s teen to have good taste in music. I hate youth culture.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

I don’t know Sarah, I know it’s cliche’ still think this generation is worse. We were raised by parents/grandparents/family/neighborhoods with sense. Now kids are being “raised” by kids and tv. Sure there was always one or two kids from my era who messed up or were the fast ass, but now they’re so nonchalant about sex and drugs. Maybe I just ran with the dork crew or something, because I know none of my friends were interested in all that foolishness.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

@Dustin – that is the truth… i can count on one hand the number of times my mom had to actually whoop my tail. most of the “act right” that follows is based on your fear of getting tore up, given over to the child welfare system, getting sent to your granny who whoops even WORSE than your mamma, or getting *dead*.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yonnie yea my cousin is 15 and I can barely read her mumbojumbo slang crap…Im like um tu habla ingles por que yo hablo ingles…lol she goes to this fancy private Christain school but insists on typing like this “hi cuz00 wh@tz goodie..I @in+ ^ to $hi+” translation Hey big cousin whats up with you…”I havent been doing shit” ahhaha i swaer it takes me a good 15 mins to make sure i read it correctly…ARGH

11 06 2008
Landon

sistertoldja : I was so poor and hungry I almost said yes.

hillarious.. 🙂

11 06 2008
Knatural

“I know that we are laughing and joking about this, but why do black people like to brag and boast about how bad we beat our kids?
Is this a holdover from behaviors learned during slavery? I wonder if there is a non-violent way of instiling discipline and a sense of decorum that is as effective as spanking?” THANK YOU!

Maybe I can’t speak on it since I don’t have children, but discipline should begin and end with ass-whoopings. Use some imagination to train your children. Fear tactics, other bad-ass kids, books, psychological tricks, something can help teach your kids how to behave.

11 06 2008
Knatural

shouldn’t begin*

11 06 2008
Jocolate

I made the mistake of heading to First Colony Mall just as high schools let out & was surrounded by packs of monstrosities like this last week. Never again.

@ Deesigner: I think its the fact that black people actually attempt to discipline their kids, unlike some of the crazy ass “I only get time-out but I can keep my iphone & PS3” kids I see.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Deesigner – because we went through it and turned out okay so now the next generation needs to as well? (only partially kidding)

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

BTW, I don’t have children. I am the best Aunt and I have never had to hit my niece or nephews but thet think that I will.

Deesigner – scroll back up and see my rule about not watching kids that I can’t beat. And by beat – I mean spank. We all know that truly beating a child is abuse and its wrong. I believe that that is a hold over from slavery (think Antoine Fisher). I agree with you that there are other ways to discipline besides spanking. Spanking should NOT be your first line of defense. Also, it doesn’t work for everyone. However, I do think that it should definitely be included in the arsenal. What is truly effective is fear. I think the average child will behave out of fear of being beat. Hence, the very effective “look” that I inherited from Barbara Ann. However, if the child knows that it will never happen, they have nothing to fear, and then commence to act a damn fool.

11 06 2008
Landon
11 06 2008
Deesigner

I believe in discipline and active parenting, I remember being a kid getting in trouble and thinking “There really is a more civilized way of teaching me a lesson Mom, c’mon your smarter than this.”

I guess I was a pompous ass even as a youngun.

11 06 2008
Dustin

I think an ass whooping counts as a fear tactic and/or a psychological one. (See e.g. Landon’s four brothers scenario).

You should also distinguish preventative intent versus punishment intent. There’s a difference. And, even thoguh, most of us got whoopings for both, I’d be willing to try non-whooping tactics for one or the other. (That way I knew I still had the ass-whooping card in my back pocket for a rainy day.)

I mixed too many metaphors and don’t understand what I just said. But you get the gist.

11 06 2008
Meka

It is the threat of a whooping that works best and not always the whooping. If I really want to get through to my daughter, I tell her how disappointed I would be if she did this or that. So far, it is working. She was 14 the last time I whooped her and I figured that it was losing its effectiveness because she just looked at me with cold eyes the whole damn time. And did not shed a tear. Luckily, I have two nephews so I can keep my skills fresh.

Oh, I whooped my friend’s daughter with a checkbook.

And when my daughter was 2, she used a razor and cut off both of her eyebrows. I beat her with my hand. Then I beat her with a shoe. Then I put alcohol on her cuts. Okay, I felt bad about that. But I got repissed (yes, I made up a word) everytime I looked at her bald ass face. Needless to say, it never happened again.

11 06 2008
Bubbly

You know what I hate the most? It’s teenagers walking down the street or around the mall singing the newest Beyonce song (or Ashanti, and etc.). I mean, nobody wants to hear 5 teenagers belting out “MMmm! To the left, to the left!!”, in the loudest, most off tune voices possible. They actually think they sound good. I experienced this a couple weeks ago, and I was so embarrassed for their awkward, gumpy, non-singing selves. I wanted to stuff my iPod down their freaking throats…

11 06 2008
Knatural

Landon? Why?

11 06 2008

The things that bother me about teenagers is their smart ass mouths, I don’t care who I talk to crazy, I know everthing, and you miss, are an idiot attitudes.

11 06 2008
Monie

“Wait a minute…am I a sadist?” – Meka

Yes! Lol I’m glad I’m not you’re kid.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Scarletjones-@Dustin – that is the truth… i can count on one hand the number of times my mom had to actually whoop my tail. most of the “act right” that follows is based on your fear of getting tore up, given over to the child welfare system, getting sent to your granny who whoops even WORSE than your mamma, or getting *dead*.

yep..well for me it was kinda bad.. my mom would seriosuly almost whoop me until i blacked out…I have had bruises, cuts all that shit…the lasttime i got my ass whooped like that child services came and got me…i think the school nurse called them after i went to get ice for my bruises on my arms…they were huge basiclly the size of the back of my arms..I’ll never forget it…Nurse asked em what happend I did want to say shit but i guess she knew what happend after i ran out crying.. they pulled me out of class took pics of the bruises and cuts that same day after work i wa sin foster care for a whole fucking month..i didnt want any of that shit to happen at all it just did..i ran away from the foster parents house and my mom picked up..that whole summer i ahd to defend myself from my dad who blammed me for putting put our dirty laundry like that when i never said shit to the police…after the madness i was happy to be leavign for college going to florida…me and my mom’s relationship hasnt been the same since but we are working hard on it..

I’ll say this ima whoop my kids maybe not as viciously as her..

11 06 2008
Dustin

1. The alcohol in a 2 year old’s cuts went slightly too far.

2. I walk through the mall and the street belting out Beyonce’s latest hit. I’m 26.

11 06 2008
Landon

tHIS JUST HAPPENED IN NYc.. THAT LINK… it was an art exhibit… i just thought yall should know…l have a feeling the NEWS will not be talking about it that much…

11 06 2008
Landon

SORRRY : ( i shouldnt have put it up… it just caught me off guard…

Please dont send MEKA to beat me 😦

11 06 2008

I don’t believe in ass whoopin’s. I have had 5 in my life and I remember each one.

11 06 2008
Knatural

Meka – goosfraba. You put alcohol on a two yr old’s cuts? how’d she get hold of a razor anyway? You whoop people with checkbooks, spatulas, whatever’s handy huh? Not good. Seek help.

11 06 2008
sarah

Doc, precisely so. i said it is their attitude that has changed, not their behavior. actually, teens of this generation are less sexually active than we were. trends show that we were more like to have sex than kids today. its just that as little as 10-15 years ago, people were ashamed of their sexual behavior. kids today don’t care how loud they are with it. so, it sounds like more of them are slutty when really it just the few that are speaking openly and brazenly, which is misleading.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Oh, and going way back to the maturity thing (sorry just catching up after mid-day workout and lunch)…I agree with all who said it’s about feeling comfortable about your skin and knowing what’s important and what ISN’T important in terms of your life goals. So being able to embrace your inner child sometimes and not give a fugg what others think is just as important as “being on the grind” in terms of maturity. I can’t stand people who hit 25 and all of a sudden can’t talk about anything other than their Roth IRA or listen to anything other than smooth jazz. I’m pretty professionally accomplished but who says that means I’m no longer allowed to get shit-faced on the weekend and pop lock and drop it with the kiddies (but unlike the kiddies I’m not in the club to profile for anyone else’s approval). Basically I like to be around people who know how to strike that balance…be young enough to know the right car to buy but be grown enough not to put rims on it, LOL.

11 06 2008
Knatural

Meka – were/are you a young mom?

11 06 2008
Meka

Deesigner, you may feel differently when you have kids. Growing up, I used to say that I would never whoop my kids. And we both know how that turned out.

I would actually give my daughter a choice between a one time ass whooping (thanks yonnie3k for distinguishing between whoopings and beatings) and a 1 week punishment (no tv, no telephone, stay in the room). She would choose the punishment initially but after a day or two in her room, she would always come and ask for that ass whooping. By then, I had forgotten what she had gotten into trouble for and gave her light whooping and she was off punishment. I think that was all part of her plan…

11 06 2008
ishouldbeworking

Ok. I can’t stay away from the topic today. Deesigner, you don’t have to beat your kids. You can discipline without it depending on the kid. I watched my sister get too many beatings to ever attempt the crap that she did. Now at my aunts’ or grandma’s house it was a different story because if one kid got in trouble all the kids got in trouble so I’d be picking switches and finding fly swatters with the best of them. I don’t have kids and when I do I don’t want to spank/beat/whoop them. It hurts my heart every time I spank my neice which is usually one quick and unexpected firm swatt on the behind. That’s pretty much all it takes to get her attention. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a beating by either of my parents. I basically lost priveledges like the phone (I had my own line in my room and not being able to use it was torture to me). Or I wouldn’t be able to watch TV or do stuff with my friends. My infractions were always minor like not washing dishes or “forgetting” to take out the trash. I stayed into it with one of my teachers at school but my parents were on my side because they knew that the teacher was a bitch and that she was threatened by my inteligence. That was stupid of course considering I was all of 10 years old and she was a grown ass woman. I mostly acted out because I was bored and not being challenged in her class. I would get in trouble for not doing my work in class but I wasn’t gonna sit there and do it twice just because I had already finished before everyone else. She’s the only Black educator that I’ve ever met that didn’t get excited at the prospect of a Black child acheiveing academic success, but I digress.

But you don’t have to spank your kids. I actually know two teenager boys right now who were beat everytime they even looked like they were about to do something. Both of their mothers kept them on tight leashes and never let them grow up. They both barely eeked out of high school this year but they screwed up so badly that college is not an option at least for right now. Their moms were to busy beating them down instead of building them up and I think good discipline is a combination of the two. Well not literally beating them down but using a firm hand when appropriate. True kids should be punished when their in the wrong but they should be praised for their acheivements and if youlet these guys’ moms tell it they never did/do anything right.

11 06 2008

I WISH my sister would whoop my son, I’d beat her ass. Those days are over in my book.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps – yeah the kind of stuff that you are talking about is not cool. i don’t even want to know what you did to supposedly deserve having bruises and shit from a beating. my mom had those kind of beatings as a child (she actually still has a scar from when my granny beat her with an iron cord – my mom is 51)

you do not abuse your kids, but there is plenty of things in the spectrum between no discipline and child abuse.

11 06 2008
Deesigner

We needed Meka around here when Creole Booty and Somali were terrorizing everyone.

Seriously though. The alcohol was too much. That scares me.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

she shaved off her eyebrows hahahaha omggggg and then you put alcohol on them omgggggggg im glad your not my mama i thought my mom was crazy but damn..ahah reminds of the time when i told my mom i hated bangs and ripped my bang outmy head hahahha i was 4..my mom was pissed! well atleast it grew back like 2 weeks later…

11 06 2008

Meka it was your fault that a razor was attainable for a 2 year old. YOu punished her for being a normal curious 2 year old.

11 06 2008
scarletjones

and how the hell do you even accomplish an ass whoopin with a checkbook? hah aha

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I’m scared to click on Landon’s link

11 06 2008

I am so sorry Mrs. Epps. I am sure you know that it wasn’t you that had issues and nothing that happened was your fault.

11 06 2008
Deesigner

And Landon.
In my very best english….THEY BET’ NOT MESS WITH BARACK!
cracker assed crackers.

11 06 2008
Knatural

How does a two yr old even know to do that? I tried “arching” my eyebrows with a razor when I was 11! Shut up. And I got yelled at but no whooping. My parents knew that the embarrassment of facing my peers would be enough punishment. I was a pyromaniac-in-training, too, no whoopings. Kids are gonna ack up, act out, rebel, you can’t whoop ’em for everything. Especially a two yr old.
Another thing I hate: when parent cuss/swear at their kids in public, especially little kids like six yrs old. It’s heartbreaking.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Scarlet it was the dumbest shit of allllllll why she did all that..I had a $300 cell bill which i paid every month anyways.. btu she still got mad and di all that shit..then had the nerve to deny she did it and said i “hit” fuck i look like a dumbass..i may have pushed the roller chair in her way but hit her naw..but yea.. my mom was crazy…still is but i would say our mother daughter relationship is better now that i dont live with them and have my own house and shit to worry about…Please believe i was lucky go happy to leave “HELL”! Thank god I have good i have good skin and the scars are gone..

11 06 2008
Deesigner

“she shaved off her eyebrows hahahaha omggggg and then you put alcohol on them omgggggggg im glad your not my mama i thought my mom was crazy but damn..ahah reminds of the time when i told my mom i hated bangs and ripped my bang outmy head hahahha i was 4..my mom was pissed! well atleast it grew back like 2 weeks later…”

Mrs Epps, you cool and all, but Y’all ALL sound crazy to me.

11 06 2008
Meka

I said I felt bad about the alcohol. Really. I did. Ya’ll remember when Big Daddy Kane had cuts in his eyebrows? Well my sister was rocking that look and using the razor to arch or maintain her eyebrows. Of course, my daughter saw my sister use the razor and thought that it would be fun. I happened to be in the shower and my daughter came into the bathroom and said “Um, I have to tell you something.” I looked out and all I could see was blood running down her face. I was scared at first but then I got pissed because that child knew better.

I had my one and only child when I was 18. Kind of young but not when I remember that my 12 year old cousin was pregnant at the same time.

And I agree with the above post that discipline involves corporal and non-corporal punishment. My daughter had more punishments than whoopings. Like I said, my daughter actually preferred the one time whooping over the punishments.

Landon, I am sure that I have a kitchen utensil, notebook computer, something that I could get creative with:)

11 06 2008
Monie

I was never whipped/ beaten. My mom started to beat me once but she changed her mind. I really wasn’t worried (at the time) that she would, she just wasn’t the type. Anyway I turned out okay, college grad etc.

The thought of hitting a child is too much for me. I just don’t think I could bring myself to do it.

11 06 2008
Deesigner

^^^That was inappropropriate. I’m still pissed at the link that Landon posted.

11 06 2008
Landon

i hope you dont beat your men Meka!!!

11 06 2008
scarletjones

Small children are not ignorant of actions and consequences. My son is 1 and when i say “no” he has no problem knowing what i’m talking about…. but still will tend to do things he’s not supposed to anyway. i have to reinforce the rules.

And I would rather scare my child into never messing with something dangerous, whether i’m around or not, then have to worry over them after they’ve cut themselves up because they didn’t learn that lesson the first time. but maybe that’s just me. kids are curious and will get into things, but you have a responsibility to start early with teaching them about boundaries and limits in the same way you have to teach them how to read and write.

and sometimes no just doesn’t cut it.

11 06 2008

The link landon posted is going to have me pissed at everything white!

11 06 2008
Dustin

It’s easy to fall in e-love with people in these comments.

11 06 2008
Yonnie3k

I was just over at Stuff Black Greeks Like (b/c now thanks to Chris, it pops up in my browser window when I’m trying to come to SBPH – and apparently I don’t have anything better to do at work today (not true)). Anyways, turns out the author felt bad about putting Kim Torres on blast and took the post down and apologized. Good for her.

11 06 2008
Meka

Né (19:01:05) :

Meka it was your fault that a razor was attainable for a 2 year old. YOu punished her for being a normal curious 2 year old.

Well, I can take that. That said, my daughter was in my sister’s room when she should not have been.

My friend used to whoop her son in public. I’m talking bionic ass whoopings that went too far. Even I had to tell her that she was going too far.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

its all good Ne..Im grown now..all is forgiven but will never be forgotten.. but i will say this when you hear stories of foster care it aint all that bad…my foster “parents” were these rich black older couple who spoiled me as if i were their own child.. it was great i could stay out late with out getting in trouble.. they bought me the hottest clothes, rock a wear, baby phat, nike and some jordans. it was awesome and since they lived so far from my high school they let me drive oneof their cars to school. BEST MONTH EVER!!!

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

OMG, that alcohol thing is horrible. I can’t get down with going crazy on little kids. Kids are curious and get into stuff when they’re little, YOU have to protect them from getting their hands on things them that could harm them. And even though they’re just beginning to develop comprehension, you can still teach them without being physical, my mom never had to force my hand onto a stove for me to know it was hot and I should stay away. I can distinctly remember mostly all my “whuppins” because I was doing something where I was old enough to know better.

11 06 2008
Meka

OMG Landon! Do you know me? You weren’t stationed at Ft Knox were you?

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ Deesigner..i was 4 and i hated bangs so i showed my mom how much…she wanted to cry when she saw my hair on the floor looking all pretty..

11 06 2008
Meka

Mrs. Epps, thanks for sharing your story. After reading your comments everyday, it sounds like you have your stuff together. And so what if you like to take a sip er’now and then?

11 06 2008
Knatural

Mrs. Epps is a dirty wino.

11 06 2008
Landon

hey MISS Meka – if you are into that S &M stuff so be it…

Hell… i ve known most of my friends for 12 plus years….

and it never shocks me when i find out how big of freaks my friends are…. so Meka… it wouldn t shock me if you have a whole leather / latex outfit and a dungeon room in your house…. nothign surprises me anymore…

If nick cannon can marry MC… why the hell not anything else be possible.. ?

11 06 2008

OMG, that alcohol thing is horrible. I can’t get down with going crazy on little kids. Kids are curious and get into stuff when they’re little, YOU have to protect them from getting their hands on things them that could harm them. And even though they’re just beginning to develop comprehension, you can still teach them without being physical, my mom never had to force my hand onto a stove for me to know it was hot and I should stay away. I can distinctly remember mostly all my “whuppins” because I was doing something where I was old enough to know better

I agree.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

I gotcha Sarah. I guess I’m not linking “bad” with specific behaviors…because you’re right a lot of things have changed…smoking has gone down, teenage pregnancy and sexual behavior (although I honestly don’t know if they’re just replacing it with oral sex…and I’m bothered by kids supposedly have sex less but their STD rates are through the roof). It just seems the whole entitled attitude, no respect for adults, only aspiring to pimp and ho status (and LOOKING the part!) is what’s worse. But I’m definitely willing to admit what I was exposed to as a kid could very well have been more sheltered than the norm of the era, so maybe things aren’t that different.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

i wouldnt whoop a child under 3..thats just horrible..when they are toddlers they really dont know any better…a tap on the hand is all i would give a child that small…

hahaha i love Bernie Mac

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Knat! shuddddup!!! me a dirty wino??!!! lmao never that!

11 06 2008
Landon

I was not sheltered? I was allowed to watch Rated Movies

except for Eddie Murphy’s Raw and the IT…

i listed to ONYX eventhough my dad did threw away my first ONYX album…. “THROW YORU GUNS IN THE AIR, haha love that song”

i never cursed at an adult… its simply the deteriation of our family structure… babies raising babies… i am 27 hve a good job and a coop…. and i am not ready to have kids anytime… soon… i have my three nephews coming into town next week… its going to take me about 10 days to get mentally ready for this… my nehphew wears my ass out… if i cant handle that responsibility how is the reg/ ol non educated non employed teenager going to to the same and nonetheless do it well so one of these kids dont end up robbing me?

some parents do it though… and i give them all the credit in the world…

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“2. I walk through the mall and the street belting out Beyonce’s latest hit. I’m 26.”

@ Dustin…I drive with the windows and blast Mariah Carey like it’s going out of style…it’s been almost constant in my CD player in the car since April when I bought the latest one…go figure. Beyonce was in the rotation before that…just because.

Whoever said that about shaving the eyebrows off…OMG…I did that when I was 7. I was bored and thought my eyebrows were too bushy, so I took my sister’s dad’s razor and started to work. Um, apparently my hand was not too steady-next thing I knew, one was gone. Then I had to do the other not to look funny. Now, instead of going to school the next day and rocking that like it was the newest fad…I tried to draw them on. My moms got PISSED and went ahead and gave the whoopin’ I should have gotten several hours earlier.
Next day…went to school, told folks that my eyebrows were punishment for not cleaning my room…why’d I do that? MY teacher found out, called my mom, and when she and my grandmother picked me up from school that day, all she could do was cry. She couldn’t even speak. My grandmother was like, “You know you bout to get it again, right?” So she made me go pick my own switch when I got to her house, and um, it was not cool.
My eyebrows finally grew back in…thin and naturally arched…that was crazy to me!!!

11 06 2008
Landon

flashbacks of getting hit with a switch…

no stop stop nooooooooooo

those lil things hurt

11 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Your sister’s dad? You mean…your stepdad? Unfortunately my eyebrows didn’t grow back perfectly arched, I’m thankful they grew back though. I think every girl has a funny pre-teen hair removal story. When I was six, I cut out a tiny patch of hair with those small orange safety scissors, Mom was beyond pissed. No whooping though. No alcohol either.

11 06 2008
Meka

I worked in automotive manufacturing for several years. Went back to college at 30 and just graduated from law school. Trust me, parenting is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I have definitely made my mistakes (pouring alcohol on cuts…maybe) but my daughter is a well adjusted, intelligent, beautiful young lady (albeit with a smart ass mouth). I cry on all of her birthdays but don’t mind telling her that I will bust her in her damn mouth whenever I need to. I am sad that she will turn 18 years old in a few months but am happy to see her go out and try life. Although I will miss her, I am insisting that she attend an out of state college because I want her to have the full undergraduate experience (i.e. live off Ramen noodles, late night chicken runs, try something and fail at it).

Now I must go study for the bar exam.

11 06 2008
sarah

Doc, a lot of kids have sex groups. those that are sexually active choose to have sex, whether oral or intercourse, with a group of friends they know and trust. problem is, one or two people in the group might creep out of the circle for personal interests, bringing and STD into the mix. this causes STDs to run rampant. so, a 16 yr old who has never had intercouse, but chooses to have oral sex with a guy might contract an STD. this accounts for kids supposedly have sex less but their STD rates are through the roof. sorry for the sociology report, BTW, but i could learn you some things that you would not believe, like the fact that what we do sexually is peanuts compared to what our grandparents and great-grandparents have done and the first motion pictures were pornos. people back in the day were freakier than we claim to be nowadays.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

My grandma didnt play when it came to getting a switch.. and it funny…when ever my friends went to my grandma’s house with me or saw my grandma they would be like “Your grandma is the sweetest little thing in the world I love her” which is true but the broad could give a mean ass whooping and shes’ nothing but 5’2 a buck 45..and 1/2 the time ppl didnt think she was my grandmother they thought she was to young looking..my grandma is 74 and she looks the same as she did when i was 4! gotta love gracefully aging..

11 06 2008
sarah

Knat, i don’t have any hair removal stories, personally, but i have a cousin who permed her eyebrows cause they were “nappy” and both of my younger sisters have cut off ponytails. my mother, aunt, and a couple of cousins were beauticians, so they were just repeating what they saw. i was astute enough to know that i was too young to try anything like cutting my hair.

11 06 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Your sister’s dad? You mean…your stepdad?”

Nope…I mean her dad…he and moms were not married. Therefore, he was only…her dad LOL.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

I cut off my Barbie’s hair…like down to their “scalps”. My mom was suuuuper pissed. She said she spent at least $20 on each Barbie and I had ruined them so from then on I could buy my own Barbies with my allowance.

I also shaved off my eyebrows once because I saw my mom shaving hers and put Nair in my armpits when I was about 7 or 8. Nevermind that I had no hair underthere. I had a rash forever and could barely put my arms down without serious pain erupting. My mom didn’t get mad though, she just laughed at me and said I got what I deserved for digging through her stuff.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahah speaking of crazy parents my DAD(step-dad) crazy asssssss white man i swear! i remember one time when i came home from school one day and got a call from my lab partner who was out sick that day and was calling for the homework assignment not even two words came out my mouth and my Dad was on the line started grilling the hell out of dude.. my Dad was like”
1.Who is this?
2. Why are you calling
3. What school do you go to?
4. What your mothers name
5. HOw old are you?

Im like WTF!! I told him that he was just my lab partner and I have no intrest in this dude he was just callign for homework..My Dad was like oh and hung up the phone..My dad is one of the most over protective mofo’s in the world… I barely dated in HS because of him..he would grill every date I had with a shot gun in his lap..I kid you not! The last boyfriend he met of mine was before i left for college and he almost pissed his pants after talking to my Dad. Thank god my Dad likes my hubbster phew..1st ever to really like 🙂

11 06 2008
Landon

sounds like your dad loves you though… i am going to have a WMD than IRAQ if i have a daughter… but at the same time… i goign to let her have fun because i will trust her…

i am going to teach her all the tricks… minds well be honest with her instead of lyign to her and some DUDE givign her bad info…. or friends…

Kids givign kids advice on sex and stuff… if like a signle female telling one of her friends how to deal with drama in a relationship…

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

whats up with you little girls shaving off your eyebrows??!! too funny…i thought pulling hair out my head was bad but damn…I remember when i cut my cat’s hair..my mom was pissssseddd so she got the cat shaved like a lion lol which was super ugly! I use to cut my Barbie’s hair to but not to the point of the scalp…but i would give them braids, short hair..i even tried curling it with a curling iron.. that went bad.. hahah speaking of curling iron anyone remember getting their hair pressed by their mom..thats some scary shit!!! esp.when they go around the neck and you move and get nicked.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yea he loved me but damn! maybe thats why i wilded out a little during that summer before going off to college hahaha..I felt free as shit…My parents didnt give me a curfew but they did say the locks and chain will be on at 12:30 am…man that summer before i left MD was the greatest…party it up with friends drink, smoke hookah,”trees” which was funny when i would go home my mom would be up and i would be “smacked” ass hell but she never noticed but when i was sober she would ask if i was drunk or something SMH…Now all that has stopped..iswear im the oldest 20 yr old i know foreal…all my friends do is go clubbin every weekend..f that..lets up up a lounge and chill eat some food and talk about some real shit in the world…the club scene is played out for me…so now its all about meeting up with couples on the verge of marrige or already married, dinner parties, cookouts and all that jazz.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

When my mom pressed my hair, she inevitably burned me but it was usually around the crown of my head or my ears. Since then, whenever I go to a hair salon, I’m scared shitless when I’m holding down my ear for it to flip up and get burned.

I shampooed, braided, cut, and styled my Barbie’s hair like it was real hair. I also pressed it which my mom walked in on me doing and was terrified that I’d burn myself but I didn’t because I knew what getting burned felt like.

Thankfully I wasn’t that bad of a kid. Of my sisters I was the one who sat quietly playing with my Barbies or stuffed animals. My older sister was always reading. The youngest, however, got into all sorts of stuff. Thankfully she had me and the older one to clean up her messes after her so my mom wouldn’t find out when she got home from work.

11 06 2008
sarah

mrs. epps, my mother burned the hell out of my elbow while pressing my hair one night! i still have nightmares about it.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

By the way, I really did not see that art thing as racism. I was curious about the Hilary part of the exhibit because then people would call it sexism.

The guy was using quotes from the media to illustrate the point that America still has racists who put their racist shit out there for people to hear in the media. It’s extremely acerbic, yes, but not racist. I doubt that he is a KKK member. If Aaron McGruder had done that art exhibit, no one would say it was racist they would say it was a “searing look at the state of American politics and the media.”

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

And ST, I saw your comment on that board…so nice to see someone gets it as opposed to just reacting without thinking first.

11 06 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol yea around the ears mos def! i would cringe everytime she would tell me to hold my ears!

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Sarah, “people back in the day were freakier than we claim to be nowadays”. We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one. Now I know people back in the day were into some freaky stuff, for sure, pornography has been around forever. But it tended to be subscribed to certain circles. Now it’s so mainstream you have people on the news talking about 2girls1cup and shit (literally) like that. Sexual behavior in adolescence (and any self-reported behavior) is always going to be hard to study, and if anything kids are definitely smarter about it these days, which I’m grateful for. But again, sexual behavior is just one part of the equation.
We do know that more children are being raising in single parent homes and are exposed to much more in the media…do you really think that isn’t having a effect on the next generations?? (and I’m saying that as someone who did not have her father around growing up). Kids most certainly were not shooting up schools and shit when I was a kid. The reasons why are debatable, but we’re definitely at a whole different level now.

11 06 2008
The Doc Is In

Ha, Mrs. Epps I definitely got accidentally tore up about the ears with the hot comb a few times. And don’t let it be a hot and humid day. The comb wouldn’t even have to touch your skin, my greasy hair just conducted the heat right down to my scalp, LOL.

11 06 2008
Landon

Hey everyone… God Bless and have a Great Night….

do something different… Have some Fun… 🙂

Peace Luv and Nappiness 🙂

11 06 2008
Pocho

Definitely agree with this. My mom died when I was 14 (that right there will make you grow up quick, though I don’t recommend it), but when I was younger she didn’t have any problems with me because I knew she would smack me with no hesitation if I acted up. I remember the few times I acted up in public she actually took me to the back of the store to hit me, just in case some overprotective do-gooder (usually without kids) would’ve thought it their duty to step in.

I think I’m better for it, too. In fact, my father made a point to tell me I was over and over after he married a lady with a horrible juvenile deliquent kid from a previous marriage. This kid was stereotypical bad teen in every way: Talked back to his mom, hit her (before she was married to my dad), stole her money and gave her excuses about all of it. If he hadn’t been her kid, I’m sure my dad would’ve beaten the hell out of him when he got drunk and crashed his car coming home from a party at age 16, for instance. The little bastard would’ve deserved it, too!

Great blog, by the way. Love everything I’ve read so far.

11 06 2008
Merri Lee

@ Mrs. Epps – BWAWAHAHAHAHAHAH! I took a self-defense class, and the teacher had a teenaged daughter. He used to be a Navy SEAL, and said he greeted her dates with a shotgun in one hand and AK in the other. He would also discuss his history in military surveillance, stalking techniques, etc. Comedy.

11 06 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH I cut White Barbie down to the scalp, I took care of my “colored” Barbies’ hair. When I learned use a sewing machine, Kira (Hawaiian Barbie), Iris (“Native American” Barbie), and the Black one were always clothed. The White Barbie was eventually tossed in a box somewhere until I got a Ken doll and the Corvette.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

You had a white Barbie? That is so bizarre. My mom took us to Toys R Us and asked us which Barbies we wanted and we always chose black ones except for our Princess Jasmine Barbie who we liked because she had really long hair and a pretty outfit.

We had a white Ken though, which I thought was weird and when i asked my mom about it she said they rarely stocked black Kens at the Toys R Us we went to.

11 06 2008

OMG I was in the bath tub, I had to have been 7 or 8 and I was playing in the barbies hair….why oh why did some water squirt out of her neck? I got out of that bath tub and told my mama to get that barbie out of our house cause she is evil!

I didn’t play with barbies for a looooooong time.

I was also scared of the dolls that blinked.

11 06 2008
Angry IV

“and said he greeted her dates with a shotgun in one hand and AK in the other. He would also discuss his history in military surveillance, stalking techniques, etc. Comedy.”

Might’ve worked about 10 years ago. Nowadays these young boys are all bold and “hard” that they’ll probably greet you when they come to pick up your daughter packing heat.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

HAHAHAHAHAHA@Ne

I used to squeeze water out of their necks and shake the water loose…i think I may have had issues.

I never had dolls that blinked because they scare the crap out of me. My aunt tried to get me one of those Baby Alive dolls and I threw it in the trash. My mom thought it had gotten in the trash by accident, so she cleaned it and set it up on my bed. When i got home from school I freaked because I thought it had come to life, lol.

11 06 2008
Knatural

I had a…diverse doll collection. Remember Cabbage Patch Kids? After a while, I colored the bald Barbie’s scalp with a magic marker, colored her eyes darker, and told my friends, sister, and cousin that she was ‘light-skinned’.

11 06 2008
NotBlonde

Oh. my. god. Knatural, that is crazy funny. I hated Cabbage Patch Kids. I told my mom that their eyes were too small for their heads when I was 4.

11 06 2008
Knatural

Blinking dolls! = evil. Ever since that movie Dolls, Teddy Ruxpin, and Child’s Play, I’ve been traumatized.

12 06 2008
AC

“Release the e-mail address! I want to see if she has a myspace or facebook page, and then create myself a false page and send her dirty messages and later reveal myself to be a 49-year-old ex-con with a taste for young snatch”

Priceless.

12 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Did y’all have Shani (the “ethnically correct” Mattel doll) dolls? I had her, Asha (the yaller) and Nichelle (the chocolate one)!!! And Kenya, the baby doll who came in the same three complextions? With the “Magic Straightening Lotion” that turned her curls straight? And it never turned back??!?!?

12 06 2008
Angry IV

Gotta love the racist dolls. Stereotype the hell out of us. Did they come with watermelon and Popeye’s chicken accessories or coupons?

12 06 2008
ejb515

I definitely agree with preteens being worse than teenagers. I’ve had to teach a class of 8-12 year olds in Vacation Bible School this week . Today one kid’s cellphone rang in the middle of class. His ringtone was “Lollipop.” He’s only 8 years old. Apparently all the other kids in my class have cell phones too. It just ridiculous, who are they calling?

12 06 2008
Ethel

Isn’t that first picture the end of the movie “13 Ghosts” except w/ more eye shadow?

Time to turn more lights on. Eeesh.

12 06 2008
Ethel

P.S. Condolences that you didn’t get to punch this gal OR Ashton Kutcher–mostly Ashton.

12 06 2008
Merri Lee

Teenagers are ruining lives worldwide. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

13 06 2008
nubnqtndc

ok i’m usually a stalker but “This idiot is an Amber Alert waiting to happen…” is the funniest crap i’ve read all damn month…
i will definitely be using that one on my space cadet baby who likes to wander away from her day-camp group when they go out.

14 06 2008
london

@ merri lee
you know he probably will not be caught unless one of his teachers reads the news article – the daily mail reader demographic being what it is
i wish i knew of him, ie where he went to school or something – i would shop his backside without hesitation..
the police should search bebo…

15 06 2008
ph2072

Sigh.

There’s a high school right around the corner from my house. To hear those kids in the morning makes me want to rain fire from a volcano down on them. Oftentimes I work late hours so I don’t have to see them, but on the rare occasions that I have to be up early and walk amongst them, grrrrr. Same goes for if I have training and have to take public transportation. Grrrrrr. Damn kids.

15 06 2008
Sister Toldja

Angry-how were ‘ethnically correct’ dolls racist? I think it’s far more racist to put brown coloring in a Barbie mold and call it “Black Barbie” or whatever name Barbie’s Black sidekick has these days. I mean, the dolls where kinda whoreish like all Barbies, but I appreciated the effort to at least give her Blacker features (wider nose, varying hair textures). Ok, so her Ken equivalent, Jamal, had a yellow linen suit. But it wasn’t bright yellow, it was more of a pale gold, and I blame Detroit, not racism, for that.

And with the Kenya doll, I was happy to have a doll who was my complextion, as opposed to the ‘medium brown’ color they give most baby dolls.

15 06 2008
Devil's Advocate

Everyone’s forgetting that they were once a teenager. I wonder how ya’ll acted those years.

15 06 2008
Devil's Advocate

loooooooooooooooooool

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