To My Readers: Sick as Hell

27 05 2008

All,

I feel like a bag of crap and am high on meds, so I won’t be writing today. Till tomorrow, please enjoy the following highlights from my weekend:

  • I pointed at two barely-dressed chicks outside 1223 nightclub and yell “LOOKA DEM HOOKERS!” They did not find this amusing
  • Chicken Jon spends the whole night referring to tech-savvy black people as ‘Niggabytes’
  • My buddy Mandrew, a freakishly strong but small individual (weighs 155, benches more than twice his body weight), picks up another friend of mine with one arm and body slams him on a bean bag chair for no particular fucking reason at all
  • I go out and down two carbombs, two white Russians, two B-52s, two black russians, a rum and gingerale, a shot of God knows what, and a long island. On an empty stomach.
  • As a result of my drunkenness, I give ‘the woman’ insanely bad directions back to my place. I am struggling the entire time not to vomit in her car
  • Back at my place, I vomit loudly and uncontrollably into my toilet
  • I wake up on the bathroom floor six hours later

Maybe this is why I don’t feel so good today…