Interracial Dating

12 05 2008

Interracial dating has been a sore spot for both black people and the non-black people that engage them (and vice-versa) ever since the two groups were introduced to one another. Unfortunate historical circumstances coupled with natural human aversion to unfamiliar people have caused this topic, which is fundamentally a rather stupid one when it really comes down to it, to bubble up more rage and animosity than one might have for the crazy dude that hypothetically tried to murder his family.

To find out how pissed off people get about interracial dating, all you have to do is go to the comments sections of the FAQ page or Subtle Racism III: Asian Chicks. There you will find all manner of racial poop flinging, much of it coming from black men and black women telling each other how much they suck.

Figure 1: I can’t wait for some jackass to cry ‘racist’ over this image

You’ll witness black men saying that black women have too much attitude or are self-defeating; black women telling black men that they’re stuck up or that white guys are more polite and ‘evolved’, and what have you. It’s the most ridiculous pile of tripe I’ve ever been exposed to in recent memory.

When the shit chucking dies down a bit, we sometimes get into the reasons that people (black men, in particular) choose to date out. Some guys have legitimate reasons, while others either make sweeping comments about the anger of black women, or the supposed superior physical attractiveness of non-black women…or some people have this guy’s motives:

Figure 2: My friends are hysterical

Most people like to focus on the ‘why’ of interracial dating, but I personally like to focus on another question:

Who the fuck cares?

There are two things that enrage me about interracial dating as a topic (as opposed to the actual act of dating out, which I am fine with):

1.) We’re all going to die.

I don’t mean just the people that are alive today, or our children, or their descendants. I mean everybody, forever. After awhile, the sun is going to burn out all its fuel and expand as it cools. As it expands, it will swallow Mercury and Venus, and turn the surface of the Earth into liquid-hot magma before the planet is itself consumed by the sun. When that happens, no one will remember us. No will know that we were ever here. Nothing that has ever happened in the entire course of not just human history, but the entire history of planet Earth, will matter.

Figure 3: It WILL happen…

Looking at the issue through a cosmic lens makes ruffled feathers over a black man/yellow woman combo seem rather stupid, but it would also seem to justify things like murder and rape. I don’t really think this is a fair comparison because, regardless of your perspective on how doomed we as humans are, murder and rape are objectively evil. Even babies seem to recognize that these things are wrong. But ill-feeling toward interracial relationships is learned behavior, and most sane people wouldn’t say such relationships are inherently evil.

Ignoring things that are going to happen billions of years from now, there is a much more down-to-earth reason that interracial dating can be a problem:

2.) Some black people use interracial dating as a referendum on the ‘date-ability’ of their own race.

It enrages me that anyone would have the gall to declare an entire race of people beneath them. When that race is your own, it boils down to self-loathing by sheer definition. This is why I laughed on the inside when Wesley Snipes got sentenced, and this is why my blood boils when some asian women shun all asian men because “they’re all dorky and we’re all hot” even though it a.) isn’t true and b.) has absolutely nothing to do with me. I suppose it’s the pompous attitudes more than the racism that bothers me.

Figure 4: Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

Black men and women just LOVE to say to one another: “Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].” I group these people with the same class of idiot that brings white supremacists to this site claiming superiority to blacks while inexplicably requiring our existence and input to feel validated.

If you feel that dating outside your race should go hand-in-hand with people of your own race gazing longingly through the glass wall of your own ignorance while pining to smash that wall to assume the position of your significant other, you should have your fucking throat cut. For people like you, your own race shuns you because you’re a fucking asshole. There is no other reason. Your success with other races can be explained in all likelihood by cultural guilt or fetishism feeding a remarkably high bullshit tolerance.

I digress.

Date and fuck whoever you want, goddammit. Life’s too short, we’re all going to die, and we’re all pink on the inside.

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246 responses

12 05 2008
dynamicdiva

Still can’t stand Wesley. What a punk!

Black men and women just LOVE to say to one another: “Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].”

So sick of that comment! Total garbage!

12 05 2008
dynamicdiva

My bad.. I should have said I am so sick of them using that as their excuse for dating outside of the race.

12 05 2008
benjie

my friends always get pissed at me when i state that i don’t have a problem with it
i would love (LOVE) to date outside of my race… it just hasn’t happened yet.

ah well…

we’re all pink on the inside.

lol

12 05 2008
Danielle

Funny and insightful. I too laughed at Wesley and out loud! Life’s too short to be worrying about this business. We have too many important things going on.

12 05 2008
Anmarie

“It enrages me that anyone would have the gall to declare an entire race of people beneath them. When that race is your own, it boils down to self-loathing by sheer definition. ”

Oh my gosh BRAVO! BRAVO! HIP HIP HORRAY! Truest thing said yet.

Ah man, thank you for this post, that’s what i was trying to say on the FAQ page, date who you want to, let love be free, but damn why we gotta trample each other first chance we get. Why EX out a whole bunch of mofos for no reason other than they look like you. Damn.

12 05 2008
Tam

I normally lurk, but I just had to respond to this post, I totally agree, we are all going to drop dead one day and when we do I don’t think we will be worrying about who dated who and what race they were from. People wake up, there is so much more to be worried about. Cyclones, Earthquakes, Tornados, Wildfires…..and election where an African-American might just win? Open your eyes and see what is really going on…Interracial dating is not where our focus should be right now. Major things is happening right now before our eyes and if all people can be concerned about is whether or not I am dating a white man then we are in some deep shit!

12 05 2008

that’s right!

WHO FUCKING CARES!

12 05 2008

I for one am going to date whom ever the fuck I want to, no matter what race he may be. So I don’t really give 2 fucks when I see other’s dating out of their race. I have an attraction to men of all shades and race.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

Ok, I haven’t the post read yet. I just got through reading this, and lo and behold, Chris is on interracial dating. (link is semi related) Off to read the post…

12 05 2008
Merri Lee
12 05 2008
letinstar

as i’ve gotten older, i too realize that life is too short to worry about who is dating who…my experience has been that love can be hard to find, period…if you find some one that happens to be a different race than you but but loves you and treats you with the respect you do deserve, then who am i or anyone to throw negativity at it…

now, wesley snipes, no love over here for him…i remember how loud and proud he was to say all the negative about black women to the mainstream press…so fuck him, he can go to jail…goodbye

my only issue with interracial dating as it has already been mention is the generalizations as to why someone won’t date this one or that one…how can you say black women are blah, blah,blah and asian men are blah, blah, blah unless you’ve dated every single one of them…

i respect people a whole lot more if they just say, “i prefer to date whoever because that’s who i’m attracted to”, rather than i don’t date this group because they all are loud or whatever excuse they use…

12 05 2008
Ashley

Yo. I HATE listening to my black girlfriends (I’m black too, by the way) rant about interracial couples. I mean, why the hell does it matter?? You just rejected dude before he got that white girl anyway! People spend way too much time hating what other people choose to do with their personal lives- especially when it affects them in NO way whatsoever.

It does grind my gears though (haha..I love that phrase) to hear black men rattle off all the bullshit about black women being to loud or demanding or what have you, since the men that say that all tend to have some issues they need to work on…

12 05 2008
WryBeauty

*giggling at we’re all pink on the inside*

Anyway, this entry has it pretty much down to bare definition: self-loathing. Personally, I date interracially and still run into problems with friends (primarily black males) who have issues with it. I told them essentially: “he’s not screwing you, so why should you care?”

12 05 2008
CEASE

i could care less if a sister wants to date outside her race regardless of the reasoning. I date within & out of my race and its no one else’s business but my own. Like you said date, fuck, and see who u want. It’s not that fucking serious. Get yours!

12 05 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

If not for the swirl, my kid wouldn’t exist, so…*shrug*

Nah, but I really don’t give a shit for the most part. The only time it gets my goat is when it’s clear that those in the relationship are doing it based on any of the lame excuses above. I’m particularly peeved by three scenarios, though.

1. Black dude/non Black chick, walking together: Dude is breaking his neck to avoid locking eyes with every single black woman in sight, surely to avoid the “sistagurl” eye rolling/neck snapping/teeth sucking/under breath mumbling.
Newsflash, dude; I don’t give a shit who’s on your arm, because you aren’t with me, regardless! I can’t waste time gritting over some dude who ain’t with/doesn’t want me.

2. Black dude/non Black chick, walking together: Dude is cool, but the chick is breaking her neck to draw attention to herself and/or engage in unnecessary PDA, as if to say “Look, darkie! I got him! One less for you! Please get mad and do the “Sistagurl” ( as referenced above) so that I can bitch about it to him and my girlfriends/eventually use this experience as an excuse to break up with him later/ or nag him about for the rest of our lives!”

3.Black chick/non Black dude, making an appearance: Dude is usually either the biggest fucking cornball imaginable, or trying too hard to appear “down”, and the chick has a shit eating grin at all times, because it’s obvious in her mind that she’s a freaking maverick! She’s got her “something new” and is usually the type that strives to be the Exceptional Negro* in whatever circle she runs in. Girl please, ain’t nobody thinking about you, and nobody wants that goofy ass dude, either, which is why YOU have him!

*Oh I’m sure y’all know what an Exceptional Negro is. You know- the one who was the only one in such and such school, the only one taking a full load of AP/Baccalaureate classes in high school, the only one who is fluent in 12 different languages, The only Black family in that exclusive gated community, etc. Usually things that are largely insignificant. I’m sure many of us who read this blog have been “the only” something or other at various points in our lives, but the Exceptional Negro seems to always feel the need to point out when/why they were “the only”, and why they can’t relate to other Blacks (who aren’t/weren’t “the only”), and seem to think that being “the only” somehow validates them. Negro, Please. Sit the entire fuck down. We ain’t impressed.

12 05 2008
Esquire

Merri Lee,

Josh Packwood is one fine white boy.

I almost peed my pants laughing at Wesley Snipes. Guess he FINALLY realized he’s still just a nigga. What a jiggaboo.

12 05 2008
dynamicdiva

If someone wants to date outside of their race then that’s their business. But miss me with all the excuses as to why you can’t or won’t date within your own race cause I am not trying to hear it!

12 05 2008
Shine

No this negro was not wearing a Kente cloth tie. Damnit.

I’m glad you wrote this post Chris. This is my exact feelings on interracial dating succintly put. But usually when I talk about I have to elaborate on self-hating people and people assume because I’m a black woman explaining a phenomenom, that I have a problem with interracial dating. I have a problem with racial fetishims (which you indulge in the face of much bullshit), and putting other people down to explain themselves. I mean in all fun we say a lot about other races and our own, but just for jokes, not truly holding animosity or trying to hurt someone (this is for the trolls to understand please). Stuff like Ebony magazines constant articles on ‘why black men hate black women’, Wesleys’ snipes comments, the research into the origins of ‘biracial’ as a term (racist white women who married black men but didn’t want their children seen as black), and the comments section on the Washington Post’s special feature on being a black man enrage me. But my heart just swells with pride when I see any interracial couple together because they get down with one another, and they understand each other’s culture. Like the article Merri Lee posted. That guy makes me all happy by not buying into America’s race fears and attending a black school because thats what was good for him. And most of the school accepting him for who he was.

Also I laugh my ass off when I walk around with my male friends (sorry not one wants this ass, or is available to want this) white and indian or whatever and getting crazy looks from people who assume we’re dating. I’m just happy they don’t say shit to me. I hate the damn militant black folk who think because I’ve got an afro and I’m down for black folk I have to be racist agains other people.

12 05 2008
Chelle

My thing is, if Black women weren’t almost never getting married then interracial dating would be just whatevs, but since we’re left alone and unmarried then it’s a serious issue. In today’s society, it’s hard to compete as a single buyer so to speak against double income couples, so marriage is nearly essential to achieving the so-called American dream of homeownership (I stress homeownership because our country actually grants favored tax status to homeowners and as any realtor will tell you 60% of most Americans’ wealth is in their home). I know there are those that are competent and able to become homeowners and be successful without a mate, but many are left behind in this respect.

On a less concrete issue, there is a serious issue of self respect among black women as evidenced by Flavor of Love and the proliferation of weaves and the like, which I feel is an indirect result of Black women trying their best to be a fake ass imitation of a white chick while falling ridiculously short.

12 05 2008
Shine

Chelle what does that have to do with interracial dating? I believe the topic of black women with low self esteem is over on the straight hair comment section. Check it out.

12 05 2008
Shine

Troll food

12 05 2008
Muse

LMAO…My Spidey senses told me that this topic was bound to come up especially after the discussion in the FAQ section. Anyway I’m probably repeating myself here, but usually I do not have a problem with interracial dating. I grew up in Los Angeles and it’s EVERYWHERE. I’ve dating White, Asian, Arabic, and Latino guys before. My preference is Black men since I just find them more attractive. I also desire to eventually marry a Black man because I believe in community and having a stable marriage between two Black partners will contribute to that. However if I find the love of my life who happens to be of another color, then well I have to make sure he is equally invested in Black people as I am. With that being said, I never dated outside of my race to get back at Black men.

Unfortunately I have met a large percentage of Black men who date outside of their race because either 1.) They have issues with Black women going back to their momma 2.)They claim to not meet many black women (which I question because even if you grew up in a Non Black neighborhood, I don’t think after the age of 18 there is an excuse to not interact with “some” black people 3.) They really have some self loathing issues and/or don’t find Black women attractive so they use other excuses to cover up their true feelings. It’s not very PC for a Black man to say Black women are unattractive.

Now there are the Black men who date anyone and anything that is fine, has a nice ass, and a disease free vagina. I have no problems with these types of people because at the end of the day they will date ANY attractive women regardless of race. They don’t harbor feelings towards Black people and aren’t sell outs.

My job is not to determine which category certain Black men fall into when it comes to interracial dating. They know deep down why they choose to make certain decisions. AT the end of the day I really don’t care because I’ve never lost a hot Black guy to a White, Asian, Latino, or Green woman. I don’t find non-Black women threatening because I honestly don’t see what the big deal is about them. Blame my parents for brainwashing me into believing Black is beautiful.

12 05 2008
Anmarie

Chelle, if it comes down to it and you still haven’t found the brother you want, start dating Becky’s brother. You want your home and your family widen your scope, anyway a white man may be better at stealing some land for your home. — That was a joke.

12 05 2008
elaine

thank-you for posting this. i am 52 years old, and i am so tired of the subject . people are going to be with who they want to be with. as my generation used to say”like it or lump it.

12 05 2008
Pelle

“If you feel that dating outside your race should go hand-in-hand with people of your own race gazing longingly through the glass wall of your own ignorance while pining to smash that wall to assume the position of your significant other, you should have your fucking throat cut.”

Sir, you are a poet.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

Why hasn’t Tom Harkin posted? Isn’t that him in the photo? (No, I didn’t write that so I could clown him, why did you ask?)

12 05 2008
Anmarie

Hi Elaine! Respect and love to you older wiser woman on the board.

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

No, that’s not Tom Harkin. That’s a friend of mine who, for reasons that would take way too long to explain, we all call “Black Blackitty Blue Black.”

12 05 2008
cmoore

although i do not prefer to date outside my race (black) but i dont care if others do it just like dont care if others are gay (i wont do that either). I just dont approve of people making a big deal out of something that is none of their business.

12 05 2008
stuffgirlslike

Well chris you are still getting away with murder I thought no fblack females would be reading this.

The situation in England is weird, no one dates within their race. Girls in England prefer any man as long as they are not Black. Queen Naomi Campbell has proven this.

I have no problem with inter-racial dating unless it is I will never touch a black man thing. That is just dumb.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com

12 05 2008
Ethel

New topic: White people who don’t know when to quit having kids and get a TV show and a house out of it : [http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/texassouthwest/stories/DN-arduggar_10tex.ART.State.Edition1.45f223e.html ] when you know that if folks of any other race did the same sh*t, that either a) nothing would happen or b) people would throw their hands in the air in dismay.

12 05 2008
HBRW

Any chance you might do a post one day on the topic of what black folks should call ourselves? ie black vs African-American, and what about all the Caribbean/West Indies folks who reject outright the African-American label, for themselves or black Americans? How do you “label” yourself? I’m sure this could make a great post, just needs your special combo of humor and cuss words.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Shine, that was an ass move to label Chelle a troll because she dared to disagree with you. What she said was very much relevant to the topic.

I am really sick of the sisters who are okay with interracial dating looking down their noses at us who don’t, as if being ‘down with the swirl’ somehow makes you more civilized. Like, God forbid you be lumped in with us angry savages, right?

I have tried to make peace with interracial dating, I swear. But as I see constant reminders that Black women are treated by men (and women) of ALL races with such low worth, when I look at the marriage statistics and the sorry state of Black people and, in particular, relationships between Black men and Black women….I can’t go for it, I can’t. I honestly believe that the key to any sort of uplift for Black folk is gonna start with family building. Can’t have strong community without strong family, can’t have strong nation without strong community.

I am tired of people acting like Black women are so terrible and that these other women are just so undeniably hot. The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page. As Muse said, I’m not threatened by non-Black women. However, I am hurt and offended when “our” men go out of their way to have and to hump anything but us. Am I wrong for wondering if perhaps Black mothers are doing something wrong? Because these young men out here are really giving me the blues. No love and no value for the sisters it seems from far to many of em.

I was watching some teenybopper videos the other day and I saw that the young heartthrobs are still being cast alongside Spanish or “ethnically ambigious” women, sending the message to the little Black girls watching that “You are NOT what we want, you are NOT pretty”.

Black women are just too gorgeous to rationalize wanting anything else. Same for Black men. As much as they anger and hurt me, there is NOTHING in me that wants to experience anything else. We fit, we have shared struggles, we BELONG together.

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page.”

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12 05 2008
Alex

I’m going to go out on a limb and say the regular commentators wont be leaving one this time around………

I wont lie, this topic used to burn my gut…and then I met a nice guy who happened to not be black. Furthermore, when it comes to self-hating people, I wouldnt wish them on anyone in any circumstance and hope their partner has the good sense to realize they got points for being a different color.

Ultimately we all will die, but dont be so pessimistic, maybe we’ll master intergalactic/interstellar travel.

I know it doesn’t mean much to you –baller that you are– but I want to give you a dollar. *Is a broke ass college student*

12 05 2008
benjie

ethel-

did you notice that her husband’s name is jim bob

*dead*

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Haha, I am far from a baller. I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)

12 05 2008
benjie

the only problem i happen to have with interracial dating is this:

when black actors/sports figures/rappers… basically anyone that crosses over into celebrity status suddenly date/marry/shack up with/impregnate white women.

like “momma i made it!! i’ll finally be accepted cause i got a white girl!! look!!”

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

stuffblackpeoplehate (17:58:07) :

Haha, I am far from a baller. I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)

You dodged the “are you Greek” question someone asked you in a different thread. I’m now assuming you are a Que unless proven otherwise *mischievous side eye*

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

I think most of us only have problems with interracial dating if it is purely a fetish thing or if it’s a self-hating thing.

But for every other self-hater or fetishist (or maybe every fifth…) you ge My older sister and her boyfriend who is we-play-world-of-warcraft-together in love with her (I wish I was kidding). He is southern PA country white (he says pop instead of soda and y’uns instead of y’all) and lives on land that has no fences. But those two will get married, have little mulatto babies and be happy.

I think in terms of celebrities, Seal and Heidi Klum are an excellent example of an interracial couple who just love each other and aren’t into the “look ma, I got me a white girl!” thing.

Beside that, I had to drop two girlfriends of mine because they obsessed over black guys just to the point where it made me sick. And I couldn’t be around the black guys they were “friends” with because all they’d do when we were hanging out was spout bullshit about “my sisters” were bitches, hos and unworthy of the superior (i.e. school athlete) black man.

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“You dodged the “are you Greek” question someone asked you in a different thread. I’m now assuming you are a Que unless proven otherwise *mischievous side eye*”

My apologies.

I am not Greek. What the bloody hell is a Que?

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

Oh and the two friends I dropped were a brunette white girl and a super self-hating Greek chick.

12 05 2008
Pilar C

Excellent, valid and much needed post… over the 24 years of my life I’ve learned that men with penises who know how to use them come in all different colors… that’s really the only requirement…

12 05 2008
iloveblackpeople

Thank you ST…you always know how to say it perfectly.

12 05 2008
Muse

Sista Toldja can we please hang out next time I’m in your city. I love your commentary. I do understand where you are coming from but at this point, I don’t think it is worth it for Black women to trip over Black men who don’t want us when there are Black men who do. I try to approach life as the glass half full you know?

BTW who are those fugly white girls in the picture? They remind me of the drunken sorority whores at USC who use to pass out in the street after a fraternity party.

Now if Black women are getting passed up for some sub par looking White girls then we have a HUGE PROBLEM. I mean the Brother in to photograph is acting like Heidi Klum just had his baby with that Kool-Aid smile.

In fact I don’t think the White are grateful when a Black man takes an ugly White girl off their hands…

12 05 2008
vitazza

I personally have no problem with dating outside of your specified race. I do however have a problem with men or women who date outside their own race exclusively due to self hate or other shitty reasons.
Peace and Date On!!

12 05 2008
Deesigner

High five, Sister Toldja!!

“I am tired of people acting like Black women are so terrible and that these other women are just so undeniably hot. The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page. As Muse said, I’m not threatened by non-Black women. However, I am hurt and offended when “our” men go out of their way to have and to hump anything but us. Am I wrong for wondering if perhaps Black mothers are doing something wrong?”

Nope, I would be hurt if my son thought that a woman that looked and behaved like ME, was somehow not good enough for him. It is one thing to value beautiful women of all hues, but the reality is that most brothers who profess to date all women generally only date women with european features and mannerisms.

Enough of the BS, let’s get real about this.

12 05 2008
Muse

Scratch that…I think White men are estastic when an ugly White girl is off the market and a Black man was desparate enough to date her. BAhahaha.

12 05 2008
Muse

Deesigner can you elaborate on what’s considered European mannerisms/features? Europeans can have wide bellpepper noses and thick lips too. Africans can have slim noses and thin lips…

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Thanks, iloveblackpeople. My thoughts rarely come out as lucid as I’d like on here, but I’m glad someone felt me! LOL.

Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

ST- We non-Greek folks have no idea about your special language or names :P. Except for that ridiculous SKEEEEWEEEE nonsense that the girls spout whenever one of them does something they approve of. WTF?

12 05 2008
Dustin

“I’ll happy take a dollar in my yet-to-be-procured leopard print man thong (now with more crotch stuffing!)”

What what . . .

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?”

Not in the least.

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

Oh, and I’m not trying to be mean, I go to like, every event the black Greeks on campus put on, I’m just saying for those of us who are uninitiated, the black Greek community’s jargon is a mystery.

12 05 2008
sarah

muse, i feel you. when i see a black man who turns his nose up at black women and exclusively dates outside of his race, it doesnt bother me. i just take it as a sign that he is not the kind of man that i would ever want to be mixed up with anyway.

12 05 2008
sarah

Oh, and I’m not trying to be mean, I go to like, every event the black Greeks on campus put on, I’m just saying for those of us who are uninitiated, the black Greek community’s jargon is a mystery.

i think that is kind of the point. its supposed to be a mystery to non-Greeks.

12 05 2008
Deesigner

@ Muse, touche’……. I should have said classic european features. I don’t want to get into a volley on Light vs Dark, Straight vs Nappy, Curvy vs Skinny or any of the mindless divisions that we use to differntiate ourselves. However, we all know the brother who would be down with Mariah Carey but pass on Jill Scott, Gabrielle Union or Nia Long…….

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Muse- Of course we can, lol. I feel you on not stressing it. I’ve settled on quietly disagreeing. I may argue about it with friends or on the net, but I can’t let it get my “pressure” up because it’s not gonna do anyone any good. And you can bet your bottom dollar that my future sons are going to have like an I Love Black Women bootcamp. If one of them even THINKS about stepping out, it’s gonna be like Drop Squad at my house. White girls will get you out of the will quick fast and in a hurry….even if the will only provides for a Crown Royal bag of change and mama’s antique doorknocker earrings!

LOL @ the sorority girls comment! That is exactly what I was thinking! I actually looked at a collegues’s Facebook page yesterday and saw the pictures of her and her sorority sisters. So much eyeliner. So much. And tan lines……*shudders*

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

Sister Toldja (18:30:05) :

Thanks, iloveblackpeople. My thoughts rarely come out as lucid as I’d like on here, but I’m glad someone felt me! LOL.

Chris- Que= Que dog, as in a member of Omega Psi Phi fraternity. You never heard of the Ques?

Continuing…
Ques are famous for their uniform – Omega Psi Phi T-Shirt, Camoflague pants and combat boots spray painted gold with purple laces. By the end of the party (okay, after like, 5 minutes) they’re wearing nothing but leopard print thongs and gold boots. Others wear a Crown Royal bag in lieu of the thong. ahhh, college….

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

@ sarah,

I know, ST was asking Chris why he hadn’t heard of the Ques. And it is because he isn’t Greek, as it were. And I totally agree with you about the guys that date exclusively outside their race not being worth my time or effort. Thus, the getting rid of the obsessive white girls and the guys they dated. I couldn’t believe the kind of filth they spewed about black girls in front of me while they were with them as though I wouldn’t care or somehow understand their bullshit.

12 05 2008
iloveblackpeople

okay NotBLonde, I’m glad you weren’t TRYING to be mean but please please PLEASE lets be more respectful. You sound like Uncle Ruckus (like you wanted to be like Jail phi jail nigga…woo woo woo). If you have a question then ask it.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Not Blonde- You are gonna start a riot.

I’m not Greek myself, but I went to Howard and grew up in Chicago, so I am just used to hearing all those things. A lot of my friends are Greek. I’m just surprised that someone who lives in DC would be unfamiliar with Black Greekhood. Then again, I don’t know what you people do at those “mixed schools” I keep hearing about, lol.

Let us not get off the topic at hand, my brothers and sisters. Speaking of….where are the men at? I know that a few of the frequent male commenters on here are FOC (Friends Of Chris), and from what I’ve seen and heard, I’d imagine they’d be ok with “the swirl”, but I am surprised no men are saying anything.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

“You sound like Uncle Ruckus (like you wanted to be like Jail phi jail nigga…woo woo woo). If you have a question then ask it.”

ROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

12 05 2008
Muse

Seriously Sista Toldja, do you want to mix genes with someone who loathes black women? Hell no. Shoot let’s keep it real Sista Toldja, you have probably turned down tons of Black guys because they didn’t meet your requirements, so do you feel all that bad if they have to go date Becky? Shoot…all those dirty athletes and D-list actors dating White women don’t bother me since I wouldn’t want them anyway.

I think we get upset when a really on point brotha who is fine as hell steps out. LOL.

No one cares when the undesirables like Pookey and Ray-Ray with a record decides to date Becky.

12 05 2008
Deesigner

” White girls will get you out of the will quick fast and in a hurry….even if the will only provides for a Crown Royal bag of change and mama’s antique doorknocker earrings!

You on a roll girl!…….Classic.

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

Wow I’m sorry. I didn’t know people would get so worked up about my obvious ignorance of Greek society. I go to Berkeley, ok? There are like, 4 black people here. The black Greek community is practically non-existent. Sorry for assuming that other people who aren’t in a frat or sorority don’t know Greek terms.

12 05 2008
Deesigner

It’s not the fact that they date Becky, its the idea that somehow we are not good enough in their eyes. I know that we probably shouldn’t care, but damn, when the overwhelming evidence as presented by the media is that your own men don’t want you, it does sting.

And I am happily married to a big beautiful black man (who happend to be a Que.)

Where ARE the brothers today?

12 05 2008
SOMALI QUEEN

Live, and let live.

12 05 2008
Dustin

I’m a brother (ish) and I agree with all points. Dating outside the race is fine as long as it’s not because of the generalizations. You ladies do it too: “I’m so done with triflin’ negroes and only dating white men from now on.” As long as your white man ain’t triflin’ too more power to ya.

12 05 2008
iloveblackpeople

ST-I am already talking to my little brother about the you are out of the family clause. He is 13. LOL. Maybe I’m a little early (I actually first mentioned it to him when he was 4 and little non-black girls were flirting with him at the mall one day) but I want to make sure he knows that black women are his standards for beauty!

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Dustin, what is a brother(ish)? LOL!

And thank you, Deesigner. This makes up for the shame and guilt I have for not writing my own blog post today, lol.

12 05 2008
Mrs. Kennedy

My husband, clearly in the throes of some sort of psychotic fugue state, mentioned to me that he believes all black woman are as psycho as his mother (paranoid, spiteful, and horribly immature). Yet here he is, married to my black ass. That is the kind of craziness Muse references when she said that these issues come from their mothers, and while he was able to see past that and still only date black women, he’s clearly still scarred.

I would agree with Toldja in that black families and communites are deteriorating, but I would not correlate this sad statistic with interracial dating without mentioning all the ingredients that comprise oppression and disenfranchisement. I think interracial dating is on the lower end of the list of ailments that plague the black community, and those issues start at home.

As a younger person (I’m 29) I resented interracial dating. My HBCU ensured I was black and proud (say it loud!) but with every degree I earned, the qualified black male candidate pool got smaller and smaller and my exposure to different races grew, and all of a sudden, (insert random white name here) started looking kind of cute – same goals, similar interests. The only thing missing was an understanding of black culture, and hell, Morehouse Cutie got that exposure.

But, when it all came down to it, I married a black man.

I think its naive to believe that love sees no color. I also think that remaining close minded to different racial experiences is a detriment to us all. But i also believe we should legalize drugs and gays should be legally married, and all kinds of kooky liberal ideas . . .

12 05 2008
Dustin

ST, “brother(ish)” means I’m black but my opinion on this particular topic might not be as credible since I’d rather re-visit the topic of Chris in a leopard man thong than discuss this further.

What what . . . You know the rest!

12 05 2008
Merri Lee


NotBlonde (18:53:51) :

Wow I’m sorry. I didn’t know people would get so worked up about my obvious ignorance of Greek society. I go to Berkeley, ok? There are like, 4 black people here. The black Greek community is practically non-existent. Sorry for assuming that other people who aren’t in a frat or sorority don’t know Greek terms.

I fell you. I went to an HBCU so I know the language of the Divine Nine inside and out. I went to a party at a predominately white school like, “WTF is Deke?” (a member of a huge, white frat) I got looked at like I was retarded. I proceeded to spend the whole night accidentally sh!tting on white Greek organizations I’d never heard of.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

@ NotBlonde better yet, that should start “I feel you” 😉

12 05 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Okay, here’s what ticked me off at one point… I dated a white male for a little while back in high school…how about black dudes felt they needed to SAVE me from him? I literally had someone say “We need to hook you up with a black dude”. I was all “WTF? SAVE ME?” Suffice to say, they all got cussed out with the quickness..

12 05 2008
Seven

Sista Toldja, you are on roll today. As pointed out earlier by other commentors you made some excellent points and I just wanted to say “kudos to you!” In particular the point about the video models and how that effects young girls. I just had a discussion with a friend about about the Batchelor. She adores the show and I can’t stand it and refuse to watch an episode (I think its silly, fixed and sets a bad example). I told her I couldn’t understand why she loves the show, when ALL the Batchelors are white and all the Black and other ethnics get booted off the show. Her argument is that its a just entertainment and its harmless. I replied with “sure, there’s nothing wrong with telling America eligible Batchelors are White, rich and only choose white women…its only a show.” Sorry to get off topic.

12 05 2008
PrettyPiscesGirl

Oh…and black GREEKS unite! Being that I went to an HBCU, I know little (and I do mean little) about white/other greek orgs…but even if I wasn’t Greek, I’d still know way more than I needed to about Black Greeks having been immersed in the black college experience.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Dustin- Owwwwww! Do I know the rest?
I said what, what…. (blows rose petals)!!!!

Toldja love the kids, do I do! I personally still would want to know your full out opinion though. Lord knows I have heard my friends bemoan the snow queens, so I know this isn’t just a male/female issue!

12 05 2008
shabooty

I say even if you can’t date inside your own race… at the very least the VERY LEAST what you can do, is have a wii-date with your co-race, and at least get yourself a handie….

There are no colors in handjobs, just the hue a chicken turns into when it’s choked.

$

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

@Merri Lee

Thanks 🙂 I kinda thought I was off in left field for a minute there.

And could people stop blaming the “media” at large for making black women seem undesirable? No matter what the media says, it’s the parents who influence their children the most in the end. If you feel like the “media” is feeding your kids bullshit, don’t let them watch tv. Do as iloveblackpeople does and teach them that black people are beautiful. Honestly though, I don’t see many instances where black women are touted as unappealing or unattractive outside of ignorant music videos and BET that no self-respecting black person would watch anyway.

Outside of those two sources, where else are black women negatively portrayed in the media?

The Bachelor is made by white people, for white people. It doesn’t insinuate anything other than white guys, by and large, like white women. So what?

12 05 2008
AceKlub

As a African-American male, I do feel that there should be a desire to marry within one’s race to promote Black family, black community, etc. However, if the person that becomes equal as a life partner is not Black, then I will not shun the lady or punish her. At the end of the day, Love is not defined by a color.

I do think that Black woman place more of a priority to marry a black male than the other way around. I think that this is because there is more of that “fairy-tale” happy ending that many young girls are conditioned to think about when little. Young girls envision finding that Black prince to sweep them off their feet and have the black family, etc. With black boys, they dream about having a hot, beautiful wife and the emphasis to find a black woman is not enforced.

Also, this explains, from my experience, why Black females have more of concern about the state of the Black community and family because of the “fairy-tale” ending adding to the already nurturing character that females have. Even looking at the comments for this post and there are mostly females who are responding to this blog, which shows that females have more of an “opinion” to this topic.

Finally, at the end of the day, to the females, I wonder if you all comment if there is an unattractive BLack male dating a white girl, or only when “that Brotha is FINE” that females have a “hating commentary”???

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Shabooty, something tells me the first girl in the Spite picture on the left gives a MEAN handshake.

Rude, yet honest question: how do White girls give these fabulous blow jobs without lips? Should I be tucking my soup coolers in?

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Good blowjobs are about tongue, positioning, suction, and (measured) grip pressure. Lips have little or nothing to do with it.

I’ve said too much. Or not enough.

12 05 2008
Dustin

ST, that pretty much was my full opinion. As long as I, personally, don’t have to hear the mostly-unjustified generalizations (e.g. “all sistas are mean” or “all brothers are triflin'”) then I’m relatively unconcerned with whom anyone else dates.

What does bother me is what a few of you ladies have touched on. I feel sorry for the young girls growing up who are force-fed the image of the blond, skinny, hyper-mammiferous, thin-nosed fembot as the only acceptable standard of beauty.

Not just the girls, but you grown women too. The models on magazine covers are like 17 and too skinny for even a 17 year-old. Then they are surgically enhanced (because you can’t be that skinny and have breasts). Then they go through hours of hair and make-up. Then those photos are touched up and plastered across magazine stands as your physical goal.

Then again, one could always just pick up a copy of “KING” and be aiight.

12 05 2008
Dustin

ST, I wholeheartedly agree with what Chris just told you. And now I must go take a cold shower.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Right, right. I understand all of that. But it’s like telling me “this is the best sundae ever”, but there ain’t no whipped cream on it.

Actually, my analogy makes no sense. But I don’t understand the logistics behind doing all of that without a good set of lips. All back to my “Black girls do it better” theory, but how would I know.

12 05 2008
AceKlub

@ ST,
I can’t comment as I have only had dealt w/ one white female back in high school. However, if I can hypothesize, I think it is more of the willingness to be carefree regarding sex. I think that might some of the appeal that these white girls have…as there seems to be fewer rules of engagement before the “get-down” among white girls from what I hear.

The soup coolers are always a good look for me , personally so kiss and suck away.

12 05 2008
shabooty

Let’s just put it this way, when there’s a duck sound coming from the back of your throat, you’re doing something right.

as Tracy Morgan says…”GUUGEHGEUUUGEH GUEHHHH (Sucking sound) –I have em slurpin and burpin, baby”.

$

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

Dustin: “blond, skinny, hyper-mammiferous, thin-nosed fembot as the only acceptable standard of beauty.”

I think that is the worst urban myth around in terms of human beauty standards. If you look at the dumbassery that is the FHM Sexiest Women or People’s Most Beautiful people, the vast majority of them are not blonde or skinny or have huge fake breasts. If anything, that “standard” is being satirized nowadays. Heidi Montag is a perfect example of the bimbo you talk about but how many girls look up to her as the standard of beauty? I know more young girls who like Hanna Montana (nonexistent breasts, brown hair) than Heidi’s fugg ass.

People’s Most Beautiful Person (arguably what idiots look at to determine what they should look like to be beautiful) is Kate Hudson. Blonde, yes. Skinny, kind of but it’s her body type. Hyper-mammiferous-not a chance in hell. Their next most beautiful person is Salma Hayek. I don’t know about you, but she’s like, the antithesis of that bogus theory (other than the huge boobs, but they are hers so whatever).

12 05 2008
Shine

Sista Toldja first I’m going to say I have great respect for you and probably all the opinions you’ve voiced on this and your blog so far. But I think you misunderstood why I considered Chelle’s comments troll. I think Chelle’s comments took interracial dating idea wayyy too far out field. She linked interracial dating with black women being single as they get older. This means you have to buy into the premise that if black men date outside their race then black women wont have anyone to date or marry because no one but black men would marry a black woman. And I just don’t hold with that. That premise is exactly why I’m mad at Ebony magazine and other forums that bring down black women’s own idea of self-worth. I understand that in mainstream media and the messages put out there black women are the lowest on the totem pole as far as beauty is concerned. But I also believe that encouraging this idea is bad for black women and low self-esteem loses more potential partners than your race. Yea, I don’t mind interracial couples when its for good reasons. But I do think many if not most black men-other women couplings are not for those reasons but I refuse to buy into the notion that so many eligible husbands have been stolen from black women by others.
Then Chelle’s comment took this further. As if interracial dating, and the loss of so many eligible black men, being the cause of single black women which lowers their ability to build equity and home ownership. This in function says that interracial dating is keeping black women both single with low self worth and low net worth. This is taking the topic of interracial dating into crazy town and I believe this statement was just trying to get attention and be controversial.
You can be sick of people who don’t mind interracial dating but I’m not looking down my nose at anyone who doesn’t trust it. I don’t trust interracial dating on its face because of the reasons Chris mentioned. Firsthand and through media and whatnot, shit I’m a black woman, I know whats going on. But to say everyone who dates someone not in their race is wrong is BS. And I’ve had more experience of black people acting like I get kicked out of the community for saying if you love someone marry them no matter the race than the opposite. I have a preference for black men for so many reasons but I have liked non-black men and would consider dating and marrying them. It doesn’t relate to my blackness, building a black community or anything like that. However I’m not automatically cheering interracial couples in the street. I probably give them the side eye unknowingly because I always inspect interracial couples to see if its real or there’s some sort of self-hate, fetishism going on. I’m a suspicious bastard that way.
Maybe because there’s been mixing in my family (great grandmother was Scottish, great granddad was Bajan, grandmother was ‘biracial’-I kinda hate that word in London, in Brixton before there were black people in Brixton) but just about everyone considered black in America today has some sort of swirl in them, and not all of it was through violence and negativity. And I believe you can build a strong black family even if Daddy’s white. Because like it or lump it, your ‘biracial’ ass is black. You have other cultures in you but you can go ahead and ask Halle if she’s black. But her mother was a white person with their eyes open and let Halle know that in America she’s black even if her mother was white. And there’s nothing wrong with being black and black is beautiful. So if you don’t get down with the swirl, that’s on you but, don’t look down your nose at me, like I don’t understand what it is to be black or I should get kicked out of the community because I do, when its real.

12 05 2008
sarah

I think that this is because there is more of that “fairy-tale” happy ending that many young girls are conditioned to think about when little. Young girls envision finding that Black prince to sweep them off their feet and have the black family, etc.

maybe its just me, but when i was growing up, what i thought to be a fairytale happy ending was white princess marries white prince and lives happily ever after, seeing as though virtually all fairytales included no black people. by your theory, if it were correct, then it would be the case that black women in hopes of a fairytale ending should seek her white prince (on a white horse, no less).

12 05 2008
urbantongue

I date whomever I damn well please. I don’t judge an entire race just because I’ve had the luck to meet a few assholes out of the bunch. It’s ridiculous and trivial in the grand scheme of things. It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even have a racial preference.

12 05 2008
Say it isn't so

@shabooty….danggggggggg you straight wanna choak a B*tch…Woahhhhh!!! Do they have to swallow too? Yuk

12 05 2008
Knatural

“Good blowjobs are about tongue, positioning, suction, and (measured) grip pressure. Lips have little or nothing to do with it.” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Not funny….true.

12 05 2008
Shine

@iloveblackpeople- I feel you with training the children. I did that to my little brother too. I was really upset with my aunt for teasing him one day when he told the family he had a crush on this beautiful dark skinned girl with a natural. My aunt teased him all day saying he liked a girl with nappy hair. Luckily I backed him up (with my ‘nappy’ hair) and he didn’t really let it bother him. He did however, stop telling the family who he had a crush on.

12 05 2008
Muse

In order to give a good blow job, the female should avoid using her teeth at all costs. Men tense up when they feel teeth against their sensitive organ which kills the experience. The trick is to tuck your lips over your teeth to avoid unnecessary scraping of the penis. Not having a gang reflex helps the young woman get creative and the ability to exercise her tongue more. It is also recommended that the female hums while deepthroating because it will add more sensation due to the vibrations the result from vocal cords.

These tips are from Real Sex on HBO which had a series on how to suck dick. LMAO

12 05 2008
Dustin

NotBlonde, I agree that standards of beauty are broadening. Still, I’m a male in Texas with a ton of straight, male friends of all races and I think you’ll find that none of them (especially the white males) will argue that the blond, thin, big-breasted girl is about to fall off anytime soon.

But don’t ask me. Ask the thousands of girls who get implants and bleach their hair every year.

P.s. I don’t think Hannah Montana is seen by tweens as a standard of beauty, rather she’s as popular as she is because her songs rock!

12 05 2008
Seven

“The Bachelor is made by white people, for white people. It doesn’t insinuate anything other than white guys, by and large, like white women. So what?”

If only it was that simple…

12 05 2008
Dustin

And Hannah’s hair is blonde. Mylie’s is brown.

12 05 2008
HeavenLeiBlu

shabooty, I hold you responsible for calling the coroner. My demise is pending, surely.

12 05 2008
AceKlub

@ sarah
while yes most bedtime stories that existed with the white princess and white prince on the white horse, there are black families who make a point to replace the white w/ black but at the end of the story the goal is to find that male prince and usually the prince is of the same skin color.

At the end of the day, young girls are allowed and expected to envision their dream husband/wedding, etc and there are expectations that these young girls create and hope that these dreams are accomplished. With young guys, the goal is to have a wife “who is a dime”. So color doesn’t rank up higher than boobs, butt, pretty face (or other superficial things that many guys define as “a dime”) on the totum pole for a guy.

12 05 2008
Shine

Yay, I miss real sex (and HBO), and I missed the wonderful sex tips this blog donates to the world.

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Hannah Montana is the reason babies wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

As for blowjobs:

1. Humming = Good
2. Teeth = Fail
3. Deep Throating = Good
4. “Yuck Face” = Bad
5. Head Twisting = Good
6. Stationary Head = Target
7. Lusty Eye Contact = Ooooh So Good
8. Terrified Eye Contect = Bad
9. Swallowing = Good
10. Snowballing = BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD FUCK!!!!!

12 05 2008
shabooty

yeah i want a broad to deep throat…
yeah u best swallow…
best not be a drip on that bib…oh no.

12 05 2008
shabooty

11. Lazy-eye = Charming when it’s staring at your cock disappear in her grill.

12 05 2008
sarah

it took to comment 100 to divert the topic completely to something of a sexual nature. not bad.

sidebar: i dated a guy who liked a little teeth.

12 05 2008
Knatural

As far teaching young Black boys and girls about NOT dating outside by verbal reinforcement? Not good. Children will pick up on the underlying insecurity and may rebel. Be an exemplary Black women who loves herself, and he’ll find that when he gets older.
What the hell is “Yuck Face” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
Head tip: do it immediately following eating super-cold ice cream. Something about the combo of hot and cold is pleasing.

12 05 2008
Dustin

Sarah, I agree. It’s possible to make teeth work. It takes practice.

12 05 2008
shabooty

head tip, shape your weave in a cupholder-like cone shape for me to put my beer in…
just kidding.

12 05 2008
sarah

yes Knatural, i had a guy stuttering doing this hot water/cold water trick. things you learn in college…

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

@ Dustin…ok way to make that distinction with Miley and Hannah 🙂

The blonde skinny girl is attractive to some peoples standards, obviously. But a 300 pound North Dakota woman is attractive to a 400 pound North Dakota farmer. I’m not saying the idea of them being attractive doesn’t exist, I’m saying that the “media”, as it were, doesn’t shove it down our throats as the ONLY type of woman that is attractive.

There are also thousands of women who get their hair dyed darker colors and remove breast implants due to scarring or get breast reductions.

@Seven: It IS that simple. People make waaaay to much of things that don’t really mean anything. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. I bet the majority of people who watch The Bachelor are white. The show is made by white people for a network owned by white people. It isn’t geared toward any other race. I don’t understand why that is necessarily a bad thing. If anything it shows how stupid reality tv “love” is.

12 05 2008
Muse

Do White girls really give good head or is that just a myth?

I think some men need to learn how to eat vagina…This is according to my girlfriends

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

@ Sarah, who hasn’t dated a guy who liked a little teeth? I had a guy who wanted me to gently bite down on that ridge right under the head….is that weird?

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“head tip, shape your weave in a cupholder-like cone shape for me to put my beer in…”

There is now apple juice on my monitor.

12 05 2008
Knatural

HAHAHAHAHAHA@sarah, ‘things you learn in college.’ Do you attend an HBCU?

12 05 2008
Muse

Dustin I would imagine if the young woman that is giving you a blog job light scrapes her teeth against your shift it might feel good. Now if she decided to get lock jaw and bite your shit off then that might be a problem.

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

@Muse don’t start the eating vagina talk. We’ll come back to African guys biting down HARD like an apple on the puss and that shit ain’t right (so sorry, ST).

12 05 2008
sarah

@Knatural, i went to a PWI. a women’s college in Baltimore (dont start).

@Muse, a friend of mine told me that white girls, in general, do not give head better than black women. it is the fact that, as someone brought up earlier, they are more willing and free-spirited about it.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

So Chris, you made an immediate transition from Hannah Montana to BJs? Fitting.

12 05 2008
Muse

Note Blonde, my friend had a guy who liked girl to bite on his balls and pull.

12 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“So Chris, you made an immediate transition from Hannah Montana to BJs? Fitting.”

It’s what I do.

12 05 2008
Knatural

Teeth? Unless you get explicit written consent, no teeth belong in fellatio. Teeth-usage is not for the novice. Muse – it has to be a myth. I heard that since I knew about sex.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! I had no idea what this meant. 1000X EWW!

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

AceKlub (19:59:53) :

@ ST,
I can’t comment as I have only had dealt w/ one white female back in high school. However, if I can hypothesize, I think it is more of the willingness to be carefree regarding sex.

I think it has to do with society and peers making Black women feel dirty about sex. Which is weird on so many levels.

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

I wonder if interracial adoption will be a posting soon. Either way, I’m LMAO at this

12 05 2008
NotBlonde

The basketball player I was dating (recently broke up, boo fucking hoo) loved to have the balls bitten, pinched smooshed between hands, just generally abused.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

OMFG!!!!! Why did I look cotton balling up? HELP ME!

Shine- I understand, and I do think we have to be careful not to make it seem like the interracial dating is the main issue that is holding Black women back in life. I just think we need to, whenever possible, encourage our brothers to put us first (and vice versa).

12 05 2008
AceKlub

@ ST,
Yea, I can agree with you on that in terms of Peers making Black woman feel like “Hoes” b/c they engage in sex. It is definitely weird on many levels. I tell females that for me, I think it is the way in which you carry yourself that determines if you have “ho qualities” I am not one for double standards so if I am a single man, am allowed to have sex with multiple women w/o consequence, than I can not judge a single female who does the same thing. However, I will look negatively on a girl who is not discreet about their business and announce their jumpoffs to the crowd as I am one who is somewhat reserved about my private business. It is what folks call being a gentleman and/or lady. However, it does suck for females that they receive most of the negative comments for the same things that guys do as it relates to having sex outside of their relationship. Shyt, if all Black girls are only having sex while in relationships, who is left/available to “get it in” with

12 05 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ Ball Abuse. Who and why???!!!?? I thought they were sensitive…like eggs! I don’t see how you men can deal with those things.

12 05 2008
Anmarie

“The women in that picture above are so marginal, they are falling off the page. ”

LOL! Funniest thing I’ve heard all month! Those were some ugly mug girls geesh.

ST- I feel you, I do, and the building of the community does indeed start with the family. But while we’re waiting for the perfect black man, our eggs are drying up. I think u shouldn’t refuse love if it comes in a different color, because alot of black men aren’t making the same considerations for you based on loyality. In any case I heard that Asian men might have smaller tools, but they can’t lift weights with it. (wink wink)

Chris- you teaching a tutorial or something? All about suction my ass. What you talking bout boy? You just don’t know a nice set of luscious lips can do to ya. (wink wink) It’s definately ice cream on your pie. (ewwwe grossed myself out)

12 05 2008
Muse

Some guys like ball abuse. There was another story I heard where the guy enjoyed a girl grabbing a handful of balls and yanking them as hard as she could. Folks are into some crazy stuff these days.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Ace Klub- Aw, you are my starship! Accept my friend request on the Facebook, k?

Anmarie: I feel you, and I don’t want to die alone and childless. But I just have no attraction to non Black men. Like, NONE. Plus, my dad is mixed. My little mulattoes would be so pale, they might could pass. Heavens no! I will give the brothers about 12 or so more years before I suck it up and step out.

And THANK YOU! I am not just seeing the logistics of a good BJ without a set of full jucy lips! Its like a comfy bed without pillows.

12 05 2008
shabooty

the problem with the set of lips is that as soon as she’s done with the bj she’s gonna use those lips to start yapping again…
thats never hot.

12 05 2008
vitazza

@Sarah N.D.?
You Learned that there?

12 05 2008
Knatural

Double Standards. I agree with Sister Toldja, peers and society in general make women feel weird about sex, hence the existence of ‘Undercover Hoes’. 😀
Ace – discretion isn’t always best because some men think you’re hiding something by not being open, and that in turn festers insecurity within them. Damn ST! Twelve years??!!!?? Don’t wait that long. Or how about non-American Blacks?

12 05 2008
Muse

Shabooty why don’t you just fuck and send her home then?

12 05 2008
sarah

vitazza, i learned at lot of things at notre dame. thats why they call us CoNDoM girls.

12 05 2008
Anmarie

Shabooty I’m gonna kill you. Then spank your corspe.

Black men are so silly sometimes alway calling somone a ho, hootchie, sleeza, etc. and then get mad at you for not putting out. They can be so like white people calling you a clown ass coon then get mad when you don’t dance at parties. Whateva fools.

12 05 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knat- I am all for non-American Blacks, though I am currently discriminating against Nigerians and Ethiopians. I like Black boys with British accents (except for most Nigerians). Craig David can “Fill Me In” anytime. For “Seven Days” or more. Even though he made “What’s Your Flava”.

12 05 2008
Shine

Thanks ST, we’re actually on the same level then. Except for the 12 years thing. I need to be poppin babies out before they all come missing a chromosone or something.

12 05 2008
AceKlub

@knatural
I meant more about discretion in terms of announcing your business to the street and being loud/hood/ghetto/ignorant about it. However, open communication W/O passing judgment is always key and necessary. I think guys should fall back on being judgmental b/c if guys were to be judged for their behaviors to same level as women are judged for those same behaviors, guys would be HEATED.

My bad to all the fellas in the room, I am not trying to ruin the “pimp game” or anything, it is just real talk out here.

12 05 2008
Knatural

I gotcha Ace. You probably also meant discretion in a non-verbal way. And you’re right, men would not be able to tolerate the sexual judgments
ST- Nigerians? I don’t even want to know why? Maybe I do. I understand your ban on Ethiopians; so that leaves about fifty other African countries to choose from. And you’ve got West Indians, too. And Canada. So many non-American Black men would be interested in you. I’m sure the question is would you be interested in them.

12 05 2008
shabooty

@Anmarie – Shabooty I’m gonna kill you. Then spank your corspe.

necro-spanking fetish, eh?

+5 points. good luck hurting your hand on a rigormortASS though.
$$$

12 05 2008
Yonnie3K

Why is swallowing good? What do you guys get out of that?

12 05 2008
vitazza

@sarah
too ehffin funny I was going to attend ND as I graduated from IND but my mother felt I NEEDED a HBUC experience…..sister was correct!!! I can pluralize verbs and get busy with a brother…………ha*** the tricks you do learn in college!!

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

Muse (20:44:06) :

Dustin I would imagine if the young woman that is giving you a blog job light scrapes her teeth against your shift it might feel good. Now if she decided to get lock jaw and bite your shit off then that might be a problem.

A blog job? isn’t that what Chris has been getting in various posts? (I wonder if Um Um Good is around)

12 05 2008
Redhead

Thank god for research..
“Full vinyl polysiloxane casts of the vagina were obtained from 23 Afro-American, 39 Caucasian and 15 Hispanic women in lying, sitting and standing positions. A new shape, the pumpkin seed, was found in 40% of Afro-American women, but not in Caucasians or Hispanics. Analyses of cast and introital measurements revealed: (1) posterior cast length is significantly longer, anterior cast length is significantly shorter and cast width is significantly larger in Hispanics than in the other two groups and (2) the Caucasian introitus is significantly greater than that of the Afro-American subject. Copyright 2000 S. Karger AG, Basel”
…. Continue.

12 05 2008
Muse

Dude I sound retarded…Did I really write Blog job? Um disregard that whole paragraph…Ha..

Blog job….That’s funny.

12 05 2008
Beautifldreamr7

NotBlonde: Maybe that’s just a basketball thing. I had a b-ball player who liked that craziness too!

Yonnie3K: I wonder the same thing!!

12 05 2008
shabooty
13 05 2008
Laurel

Re swallowing: one guy told me it was a huge turn on to see a girl do something that she thinks is “dirty.”

13 05 2008
SOMALI QUEEN

Ya’ll are nasty — just because you’re anonymous doesn’t mean you have to be sick pple with no morals and class.

13 05 2008
Lolo

Holy crap, those girls in Figure 2 are sisters and they’re all descended from Dudley Doright, aren’t they? Sheesh, talk about mantastic.

13 05 2008
Lolo

As to dating out, well I’m biased since I’m a product of good old fashioned miscegenation. According to these figures (down at the bottom of the pretty enlightening, to some, article) as of 1995, 1 in 20 births are the result of mixed parentage.

I find it very interesting and heartening that more children are being born of mixed parentage but I’m biased and I honestly can’t imagine any situation where I would flinch at my children dating any “other”. Well, maybe redheads. Natural carrot top orange freckly redheads with that grey-blue white skin kinda freak me out a little.

I must be a racist.

13 05 2008
Lolo
13 05 2008
Knatural

Lolo, I too am freaked out by redheads, and extremely Nordic-looking blonds. Redheaded men are scariest!
And Somali Queen, I doubt ‘anonymity’ incourages these commentors nastiness. They’re nasty in real life.
I do find it odd when people have issue with misecegny (sounds like a dirty word) when all many of us have to do is examine our own family trees.

13 05 2008
Sandy

I really hate to be the one to bring this up, but doesn’t this:

“Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].”

sound just like this:

“Not because I don’t like black women, but because a.) black women tend not to be attracted to me and b.) most other races are. I love black women, but I’m not gonna break my balls just trying to get the time of day from a black girl when the hot indian girl across the room is asking ME for MY number.”

Sorry ;p

To be honest, I’ve only ever dated black men. I’ve never been attracted to a man that wasn’t black. Some might think I’m racist. Honestly, it’s laziness. I couldn’t deal with having to explain my culture to someone who does not have to worry about culture. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated all shades of brown, red, and yellow. They’ve just all identified politically and otherwise with blackness.

They also have one other similarity. At the end of a crazy day when I lay my head on their chest and open my mouth to explain … they understood before the words came out.

Not that all of my problems are race related … but quite a few of them might be traced back. Maybe 😉

13 05 2008
Nice

I don’t have a problem with interracial dating. I have a problem with people making it a preference to date outside of their race. Especially Blacks that act as if their upgrading by dating another race. Love is love. My son is a product of an interracial relationship.

13 05 2008
Sandy

stuffblackpeoplehate (20:31:46) :

Hannah Montana is the reason babies wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

As for blowjobs:

Uhm… what’s snowballing?

13 05 2008
Lolo

Yah, it’s when it gets to the “fetish” kinda stage that I get completely put off. My radar is set high to start with due to all the fucking dumassery and objectification that some (white) guys bring to asian girls and one tiny whiff of yellow fever is enough to make me mock the wood right of a dick. So to speak. Sorry if my choice of wording offends, but not really.
@Sandy
I completely hear you on the comfort level of just not having to *explain* at the end of the day. I’ve always had to though, to some extent and there have definitely been times where I’ve just gotten weary of it. It’s sometimes hard enough to work a relationship on the daily, then factor in stuff like racism and why certain situations just don’t fly and you sometimes just say Fuck IT and walk away.

13 05 2008
Yonnie3K

@ Nice:

It’s “they’re” NOT “their” ASSHOLE!!!

Sorry…couldn’t resist

13 05 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knatural- Nigerians (and a lot of West Indians, wordlife) be having that whole “COME HERE NOW AND GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER GIRL” attitude. I am also overly concerned with being fetishized for some of my features. There was this crew of Africans at HU that would throw these parties and I heard all the American Black girls were high yellow to medium skinned and all the African women would be holding up the wall being ignored. I think the biggest thing though is my fiesty feminist spirit. It’s very westernized and I need a man who can at least cope with it, if not agree.

But I am not really discriminating that hard. Any good looking Black man of appropriate height has a fair shot at young Toldja. 😉

I feel you Sandy. I cannot do the “this is why it upsets me” routine when all I need is to vent about how some cracka-ass-cracka ruined my day, and having Brad try to tell me “But babe, maybe he was just an asshole. It doesn’t have to be a race thing.” Honestly some of the shit they put us through, I don’t think I could come home and look at a White man some nights.

13 05 2008
Nice

The most explaing that I had to do was with Hispanic men. Mostly with their families. One Puerto Rican guy I dated uncle swore up and down that I was Dominican. This was kinda ackward to me because I thought they knew just like Latinos, us Black folks got some of this and some of that in us too. So I had to hear all the time ” you don’t look Black”. – Whatever that was suppose to mean. I tried my best not to get offended.

13 05 2008
Sandy

Redhead, where did you get that research? Shoot, I wanna read up

13 05 2008
Sandy

Thats true. What I hate is, “wow your hair is so nice and long. are you mixed?” Like black people can’t have nice hair. Black people are guilty of this too, though. The other thing i despise is when people say, “your a pretty dark skin girl,” or “your pretty for a dark skin girl.” The worst is when I hear “highly pigmented” (is that politically correct 🙂 ) women saying that.

13 05 2008
Knatural

You’re right ST, some cultures do seem to have a inborn chauvinism, that just hasn’t been my experience. I’ve experienced the opposite with West Indian men; they’ve been more tolerant and easy-going than Black American men. Especially when I ‘went natural’. Regular Black dudes seemed to be disgusted by my new hair, and guess who wasn’t. I am also a huge sucker for giving people the benefit of the doubt, too, so maybe that’s why. Sandy, I also understand to need for automatic understanding.
‘Highly Pigmented’ HUH!? Can so-called political correctness be the next topic? So are Red people ‘lowly pigmented’? I probably can’t say Red anymore.

13 05 2008
Angry v3.2b

1. Weaves = Epic Fail.

2. White women = no better head than a black woman.

13 05 2008
formerly:hbmen/banji/mcdizzsweet

“the problem with the set of lips is that as soon as she’s done with the bj she’s gonna use those lips to start yapping again…
thats never hot”
@SHABOOTY, u are amazing…i’ve fallen out of love w Chris…and am now putting up an offer on the table to you. rotf

13 05 2008
aceklub

@yonnie
I can only speak for myself but I know that I enjoy it not necessarily b/c I want to fill you up w/ my man juice but more so b/c I hate to have all these rules or restrictions for something that I think is minor. I always relate it to if the roles were switched and I am filling my tummy w/ female juice. I would think that many females would be annoyed if during these intimate moments and you are experiencing those feelings, you begin to hear “spit sounds and/or the guy rubbing his lips on your inner thigh” b/c he is trying to avoid swallowing your female juice. That would kill your sexual high.

So I know for me, I know it kills my high when I reach that peak and I have to hear “uh-huh, be careful, why you holding my head so hard in one place, etc.” At the end of the day I want to enjoy the same experience that I give to a lady. Just one’s man’s thoughts

13 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

““Hey yall didn’t holler, so don’t hate when you see me with a white/asian/hispanic/mer[maid|man].”

sound just like this:

“Not because I don’t like black women, but because a.) black women tend not to be attracted to me and b.) most other races are. I love black women, but I’m not gonna break my balls just trying to get the time of day from a black girl when the hot indian girl across the room is asking ME for MY number.”

Sorry ;p”

Yes it sounds the same…if you’re on a fishing expedition and willing to ignore the context of both statements. Rape and lovemaking are also the same thing if you’re willing to ‘reach’ and ignore context.

The black law student I’m dating now would rip this comparison apart in more ways than one 😉

13 05 2008
Sandy

Really? I must be ignorant because the difference is escaping me. Also, please feel free to point out how I was ignoring context. Also, I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to prove that you were dating black women.

Please explain “snowballing.” Hopefully, I’m not missing any context clues 🙂

13 05 2008
Dustin

Is everyone in or near the black blog world a lawyer or law student?

What what . . .

13 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

I’ll start off by correcting myself: you weren’t ignoring context, you may have just been unaware of clarifying statements I’ve made in other parts of the blog after that FAQ was posted.

Anyhow,

My statement in the FAQ is a factual explanation of why my dating history has not included many black women – because they tend not to be attracted to me, along with the many many reasons I’ve been given, by them, to that effect. The comments I receive on this site would seem to contradict that, but I suppose there’s something that happens when people meet me in person that turns them off. Perhaps it’s the god awful smell.

In other parts of this site I’ve faulted myself for approaching black women in situations where they tend to have their guard up – club and bars. Unfortunately, given my work schedule, interests, and circle of friends, these are usually the only ways I’m able to meet black women.

Bottom line, the FAQ is an explanation. It is not rooted in anger, a belief in the inferiority of black women, the superiority of non-black women, and it is not offered as a reason for refusing to date black women.

This is different than the ‘yall shoulda hollered’ statement because, given the sentences surrounding it, it is the proactive rationale given by the many black people who refuse to date within their race and consider their own race inferior. It is a response rooted in anger, hatred, racism, ego, and cynicism.

In sum, the FAQ statement is one of simple factual circumstance. The more recent statement is one of embittered internalized racism.

13 05 2008
Muse

AWw look at Chris explaining himself LOL.

In summary, he dates Black woman. Next topic.

Skeet Skeet

13 05 2008
london

i have 2 pennies and then i am off outta town….
there seems to be an underlying anti nigerian / west indian thing with you ST… i can only talk about west indians as i am one…
it’s a confidence thing… we are brought up that way…
i have have a high confidence level… i generally walk around like my shit don’t stink.. just the way my mother taught me..
confidence does not equal arrogance…

anyway on the interracial dating thing…. all cats are grey in the dark… who cares

13 05 2008
lisaturtle

I appreciate the love given to one of my favorite topics… HEAD.

13 05 2008
lisaturtle

@London, the problem with walking around like your shit don’t stink is that (like everyone else) your shit does stink and that attitude is straight irksome. I tend to find Nigerian men very attractive but I had to give them up because I can’t deal with the they’re better than men because they are:
a) a man.
b) Nigerian and not just black.
ANNOYING.

13 05 2008
puff

@ sista toldja

yo i gotta step in and defend nigerian (naija) men – not all of them are chauvinistic/full of themselves/think they’re slick spinning lines for you. and i speak with authority as a nigerian woman, there’s plenty of them who are respectful, humble and full of nothing but love for women. imho, our men are fiyah – kinda like the sun that burned the faces of them crispy ass white girls in figure 2 (real talk, what spring break hell were they recruited from? someone pass them some aloe vera…)

on the post as a whole, i’m not gonna front like i don’t see colour – if i see it when i read the news or in class at my PWI, how am i gonna act like i don’t see it in relationships either? having said that, there’s much more to a person than the colour of their skin and i’m not going to rule someone out for being too white/light/dark/yellow/brown/red…. maybe too pink, sometimes white people freak me out with that shit. and refusing to date within your own race is self-hatred, plain and simple.

13 05 2008
Tiger

Sista T, I too agree with your first post.

I would also add that the “yall should have hollered” phenom has another dimension. (not sure if the following was already mentioned). This is a phenom I have perceived with educated black men who all seem to be dating/married to white women. Particularly in the legal/medical fields.

A lot of highly-educated black sistas I meet are particularly frustrated that every time they want to go for a highly-educated black male, they are few and far between and are usually with white women. The explanation I tend to hear from EBMs is that when they were growing up, they were really nerdy, and the cool sistas in school rejected them for more of the thug/jock types. Then, when the nerdy black young man turned into a fine ass black gentleman with a high-paying job, they look at the sistas with bitterness, thinking, you didn’t like me when we were young, so I’m gonna reject you now.

The problem with this theory is that these EBMs with high-paying jobs don’t recognize that the EBF with the same weren’t the lil’ hoodrats back in grade school chasing the thugs around.. they were the nerdy or quiet girls too.

But it’s true that these black lawyers/doctors (aside from maybe the morehouse folk where if u try’in take a white chick back to homecomming yo ass is grass) do tend to have the “trophy” white wives that help them fit better into the white high-end social circles. IT’s sickening but kinda true.

13 05 2008
hrhkat

Im going to be honest, because it’s what I do.

Chris,

Ive have noticed a theme while reading your blog. Your not racist, but you do seem to “hate on” white people quite alot. This leads me to the conclusion that, since you are mulatto, and thus must have had a white ancestor, you hate being black, or more appropriately being put into the same mold (that white people created) as most other black people, when in fact you are different. You want people to know your different, your educated, you have a good job, you travel, your somewhat cultured, and know secret that WASPs have known since the beginning, and that is that you dont flaunt your wealth. You hate white people, but not for the fact that throughout history they have done terrible, evil things, which they’re tons, but for the fact that they have done great, wonderful things, that you feel black people havent done. You hate on the black culture, because you being an “oreo” believe they should be like you, meaning they should act white. I know your making some sort of authentic ritual/tribal outfit to connect with your blackness, back in africa, but the fact is you are as black as the senator who screwed Barbra Walters in the 70s. When I first heard she had an affair with a black senator in the 70s I was so shocked, but once I saw his picture, I thought “OOOh Barbra, your just pretending he’s black to sell books”. And thats what you are, your pretending to be black to “sell” your blog. Sure, you have darkish skin, probably felt racism in your youth, but the fact is, your trying to convert other black people to living the San Francisco white person life. I live in California, and while that life is exceedingly fun, it is filled with way to much guilt to live a happy life. And thats why we recycle, drive Toyota Prii “which I own”, take canvas bags to the supermarket, ride vintage bikes, and support democrats. White people are littered with guilt because their ancestors were murders, and power hungry, and how they cant send enough mesquito nets to the Congo. You are so white (even though you try very hard not to be, or maybe you dont) that you cant help but see that your still seen as black, however slightly black you are. And thats also why you support Obama, hes barely black like you, and you hope when hes president, that white people will see you as white like him. Its possible, but if he fucks up, I suggest finding a townhouse with a panic room. I know right now your thinking, “how dare they think the world revolves around white peoples opinion”, but the fact is, you want the world to revolve around your opinion as it does for white people. And with that, Obama is handy yet again, because his opinion will be the only one that matters. You cant vote for yourself as president, so I guess he is the next best thing. Having a black president is fine, but calling Obama “black” is overstatement. I feel that you have a hard time in the black community, being mulatto and all, because they hate you automatically for being “light skinded”, thats why you try to connect with your black roots, so you will feel excepted by a community who is secretly jealous of you. Dont get to cocky, because they beat your ass if you go after a darker skinned women, and will call you out for dating asian girls, which you have dated plenty of, and which is a white mans past time. Tigers Parents are an exception. Im sorry the black community isnt all as it should be in your eyes, but you cannot blame white americans anymore, The black community has (and I will refrain from using the “over a hundred years” tribute to explain why black people havent lifted themselves up) had about 45 years to lift themselves up out of poverty and oppression, through the importance of education. Asian immigrants have been remarkably successful in this field, and thats why they arent in poverty in America.

I dont know what to tell you to fix your plight, your stuck between two worlds, but luckily for you, if one collapses, you always have another.

Venting your frustration is fine, but suppressing yourself isn’t very benificial.

Go to a mom and pop coffee shop, with a fresh copy of The New York Times, bring your macbook, and maybe another lovely person, just like you but with a vagina will be there, waiting for you. Remember dont drink too much Soy, because the need for farmland for Soy is killing the rainforests in the Amazon…:)

13 05 2008
Angry v3.2b

Don’t hate on the MacBook…it’s one of the finest pieces of equipment in all the land. I love mine to death and will probably be adding another one, and possibly an iMac to the stable soon.

But I digress.

I find it overtly offensive that you’ve called Chris “white.” I used to hate being called white boy in school. Needless to say, those people that called me that graduated from high school and are now working at Giant. I’m making money and solidifying my spot in the world to build a future for some kids one day and the rest of my family.

You fail.

13 05 2008
Funkyblackchick

wow @ hrhkat, how dr. phil of you who really isn’t a doctor at all…

anywho…

after skimming through the above posts…i’ll be the first to say, that yes, in the past I’ve ONLY dated white men. Not because I didn’t like black men, but that’s what I was raised around. It was either a majority Italian or Irish neighborhood..and being that my father is Irish, I guess I dated what I knew and grew up with.

Speaking of being ‘bi-racial’, I guess alot of white men felt that I was ‘safe’. Not to black to bring home to their parents..and alot of black men felt that I was a ‘novelty’…not to black to bring home to their parents as well.

It wasn’t until recently, in fact since living in the DC/MD area, that I noticed the disparity when it comes to interracial dating, especially since living in Columbia, MD, the interracial mecca of the world. Sure, there were lots of interracial couples, but mostly black men/white women.

Oh and don’t let me talk about the black men with highly unattractive white women…you know, the ones white men wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole.

But anywho….Black women will always be the most loyal, to black men. I’ve met so many women who always say, “I will only date black men”, well sorry to say, not all black men feel the same way about black women.

People need to broaden their horizons and dating pool. Shit, interracial ain’t always black/white. I found my “Russell Wong” in DC…so can you..LMAO!

13 05 2008
Sister Toldja

london (07:23:35) :

i have 2 pennies and then i am off outta town….
there seems to be an underlying anti nigerian / west indian thing with you ST

No, it’s not underlying, it’s street level! LOL. I just don’t think that my feminist leanings work so well with these more patriarchal minded men. And as for the cultural “my shit don’t stink” attitude, I am not dissing it….I’m just not kissing it, ya dig? It’s not an “I hate you”, it’s a “I probably shouldn’t date you”. But, again, I will say that all good looking Black men who are single, respectful and well heighted can at least get a shot. 😉

“The problem with this theory is that these EBMs with high-paying jobs don’t recognize that the EBF with the same weren’t the lil’ hoodrats back in grade school chasing the thugs around.. they were the nerdy or quiet girls too. “-AMEN! Or we were just regular ass girls. Not every Black woman wants “thug appeal”. Obvs y’all are what we want, or we wouldn’t be arguing about it!

13 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Now, I am gonna go get some breakfast and wait for Chris to come rip hrhkat a new one. This is gonna make my day, cause that is the most ignorant thing I ever read.

Here are some highlights I’d like to see addressed:

Your not racist, but you do seem to “hate on” white people quite alot. This leads me to the conclusion that, since you are mulatto, and thus must have had a white ancestor, you hate being black, or more appropriately being put into the same mold (that white people created) as most other black people, when in fact you are different.

You are so white (even though you try very hard not to be, or maybe you dont) that you cant help but see that your still seen as black, however slightly black you are. And thats also why you support Obama, hes barely black like you, and you hope when hes president, that white people will see you as white like him.

You hate on the black culture, because you being an “oreo” believe they should be like you, meaning they should act white. I know your making some sort of authentic ritual/tribal outfit to connect with your blackness

your pretending to be black to “sell” your blog. Sure, you have darkish skin, probably felt racism in your youth, but the fact is, your trying to convert other black people to living the San Francisco white person life.

your stuck between two worlds

Basically, he/she/it/shit has labeled you the California 2008 version of Sarah Jane Johnson. You gonna take that????

This is gonna be fucking awesome. Make us proud, Pinky!

13 05 2008
benjie

lmao @ pinky.

i didnt even read all that mess.

…never heard of the enter/return key i suspect?

that made my eyes hurt

13 05 2008
Anmarie

Tiger good point on that theory, EBM have alot of negative things to say about black women not wanting them growing up, but that’s because they went for the fast ass little girl in the tight jeans and short skirts like everyone else did back in school. (I love when I run into those girls and they’re all saggy and tired from having 4 children by 24 and I look hot!) So really EBFs should have attitude because no one was paying attention to us while we were paying attention to our grades. hmmmm.

hrhkat
WTF are you talking about, you sound like you have a have issues with focus and concentration. “authentic ritual/tribal outfit to connect with your blackness, back in africa” -Dumbass

Chris, you have a lady friend?… 😦 , Well I’m happy she black, just sad I had to find out this way! why…why….WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. By the way in the FAQs when you said something about the cute indian girl checking for you, did you mean east indian or native indian, because the latter isn’t interracial dating at all.

13 05 2008
Anmarie

Seriously ST, like whow what a dumbass. I don’t even think it’s worth a rip.

13 05 2008
Landon

I have no issue with interracial dating, even though technically its not a race my girl is Latino (Domincan), its an ethnicity (technically), but she basically looks like any carmel sister…. down to her full lips, nose and well body…

HOwever, i do have a problem who will only date out side their race, because i think it is completely stupid. Me saying a black woman is not good enough for me, is saying my Mother is not good enough for me… and i could never think that about my mom.

My mom wouldnt have an issue with me dating a white woman as long as she was rich, lol… but i think she was being sarcastic…

good post…

13 05 2008
Sister Toldja

I know Anmarie, he’s probably gonna let it slide….which means its all TRUE!!!!! J/k. I just want blood.

Landon, out of rudeness and curiosity, have ALL your girls been Dominican? Or “Spanish looking”? Not calling you out for real, but there are some brothers who prefer a certain type of Black girl and I think that is just as problematic as liking White women only. This is just for conversation, I am not attempting to get on you. I hate when I hear brothers say “Yo, I gotta have me a little bad Spanish mami” WTF? Pehaps they had a bad Black mother?

13 05 2008
dynamicdiva

I am late on this but…

9. Swallowing = Good

This is why I will never get props for giving a blow job! I refuse to swallow!

13 05 2008
benjie

a friend of mine has decided that he will only date latino women…specifically puerto rican women.
he said (after being married, having kids with and divorcing a black woman) that black women have to much attitude and he’s sick of dealing with it.
so…he dates puerto ricans because they cater to him.

i could talk for days about his specific brand of idiocy
but then i would get no work done.

consequently he’s still single.

13 05 2008
Shine

OH SHIT funkyblackchick. I have such a crush on Russel Wong! I thought nobody knew him! He’s like number 2 husband in my imaginary harem.

Also I have to say that pink penises freak me out. I’ll be so sad if I fall for a white guy with a pink penis. Also blue eyes but that’s less likely to faze me since I almost never notice eye color. (Note: I assumed Chris had brown eyes until I read his FAQ. Although I still don’t see the green in any pics).

For what hrhkat said, this is exactly why I hate when people question someone’s blackness. Definitions of what black is seems constantly negative and if you aren’t being ‘ghetto’ then you aren’t black enough. BS. Also this is why I feel like black people in black countries (i.e. caribbean or African) have more freedom to be exactly who they are without someone questioning their blackness. My brother enjoys techno music and anime, my father likes racing cars. Both of them couldn’t tell other black people this because those are ‘white’ things. Bullshit. Can’t even enjoy shit unless you fit a stereotype. And both them are the blackest men I know because they will always shout out their support and love for black women(that’s all I need 🙂 ).

13 05 2008
Funkyblackchick

@ Shine..Girl, I’ve had a crush on that man since New Jack City! I can’t say that I’ve seen a pink penis before…lol!

13 05 2008
Knatural

Russell Wong, that’s his name! All this time I’ve just called him ‘the tall asian from Romeo Must Die’. He is sexy! He had maybe 3 lines in New Jack City…he didn’t really need to speak anyway.

13 05 2008
to hrhkat

It’s “You’re”

13 05 2008
Quiet Storm

@ Merri Lee: “EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! I had no idea what this meant. 1000X EWW!”

omg, I was NOT prepared for that! I almost threw up my breakfast. I cant believe people actually f-ing do that!!!! **shudders**

13 05 2008
Lolo

Awwwww, I’m so tickled that Chris has a girlfriend.

I also just realised that we went an entire post, including bjs, with no Mrs. Epps …

13 05 2008
Yonnie3k

@ hrhkat:

also, it’s “too”

13 05 2008
Shine

Yea, where is Mrs. Epps? She on vacation? This is almost as sad as that one coherent and on topic post shabooty made.

13 05 2008
puff

@ hrhkat – i got a quick question: before i lay into you for about the most retarded and offensive post i’ve ever seen on this website, could i ask what cali you smoked right before you wrote that? and if it’s THAT good, could you send me some?

back to your post:

You hate white people, but not for the fact that throughout history they have done terrible, evil things, which they’re tons, but for the fact that they have done great, wonderful things, that you feel black people havent done.

oh yes, black people hate white people for all the wonderful things they have achieved like Jim Crow, Charles Manson, and Segways. As much as i hate to be the angry African justifying her continent – scratch that, cos I love it too much – I need to say this: white people need to stop negating the achievements of every other group of people as a means of validating themselves. Are you telling me that civilisations such as Mali, Ghana, Songhay, Egypt, Ethiopia, Angola and Uganda are not achievements comparable to any and everything that white people have achieved? Just because they only see the world through narrow, Euro-centric eyes does not mean that other races have been sitting on their asses watching you be great – we were hella busy with our own shit. the fact that white people then came along to destroy our history and heritage and affect our culture obviously means nothing to you, probably because you’re too ignorant to know any of this shit.

second point: quit making judgments about the meaning of the word “black”. not every member of the whole “black community” is not going to necessarily reject a “mulatto” (what kind of slave narrative did you read to get this vocabulary, for real?) for being light-skinned. and did you not perhaps think that this rejection stems from the self-hatred forced on black people in this country by white people? and on your calling chris “white,” it is ridiculously offensive that you insinuate that a person who is willing to criticise the power structure in this society that privileges white people is not “truly black” because his name isn’t devaughn and he didn’t just get out of prison.

so shut your ignorant ass up before i strangle you to death with one of those mosquito nets you think you’re gonna send to the Congo, assfuck.

13 05 2008
puff

p.s. apologies for the bold, i got a little overexcited.

13 05 2008
Laurel

Damn! Now I gotta spend the whole day checking this damned site to read the response to hrhkat. I won’t get any work done!!!!!

13 05 2008
teachthemwell

I am a dude who does not have a man crush on Russell Wong, but have you ever seen “The Vanishing Son”? It was a series of three movies on Fox. It also spawned a short lived TV series. I hope Wong gets some more ass-kicking roles.

13 05 2008
Omar

I wonder if hrhkat realizes that his arrogance is the same type of arrogance that caused all of the death and destruction that white people have reaped upon the world. Most of white civilization is based on Greek civilization which happens to be almost entirely based on Egyptian civilization. No to mention that the whites in the north and west were considered barbarians not only by people of color but also by the Greeks that they love so much. It is also no surprise that all of the so-called achievements by white society were accomplished during periods of subjugation of most other people around the world particularly Africa and the fact that most of their achievements were in being able to be more and more destructive.

If you still think whites are superior here is a list of inventions by black folks:
* air conditioning unit: Frederick M. Jones; July 12, 1949
* almanac: Benjamin Banneker; Approx 1791
* auto cut-off switch: Granville T. Woods; January 1,1839
* auto fishing devise: G. Cook; May 30, 1899
* automatic gear shift: Richard Spikes; February 28, 1932
* baby buggy: W.H. Richardson; June 18, 1899
* bicycle frame: L.R. Johnson; Octber 10, 1899
* biscuit cutter: A.P. Ashbourne; November 30, 1875
* blood plasma bag: Charles Drew; Approx. 1945
* cellular phone: Henry T. Sampson; July 6, 1971
* chamber commode: T. Elkins; January 3, 1897
* clothes dryer: G. T. Sampson; June 6, 1862
* curtain rod: S. R. Scratton; November 30, 1889
* curtain rod support: William S. Grant; August 4, 1896
* door knob: O. Dorsey; December 10, 1878
* door stop: O. Dorsey; December 10, 1878
* dust pan: Lawrence P. Ray; August 3, 1897
* egg beater: Willie Johnson; February 5, 1884
* electric lampbulb: Lewis Latimer; March 21, 1882
* elevator: Alexander Miles; October 11, 1867
* eye protector: P. Johnson; November 2, 1880
* fire escape ladder: J. W. Winters; May 7, 1878
* fire extinguisher: T. Marshall; October 26, 1872
* folding bed: L. C. Bailey; July 18, 1899
* folding chair: Brody & Surgwar; June 11, 1889
* fountain pen: W. B. Purvis; January 7, 1890
* furniture caster: O. A. Fisher; 1878
* gas mask: Garrett Morgan; October 13, 1914
* golf tee: T. Grant; December 12, 1899
* guitar: Robert F. Flemming, Jr. March 3, 1886
* hair brush: Lydia O. Newman; November 15,18–
* hand stamp: Walter B. Purvis; February 27, 1883
* horse shoe: J. Ricks; March 30, 1885
* ice cream scooper: A. L. Cralle; February 2, 1897
* improv. sugar making: Norbet Rillieux; December 10, 1846
* insect-destroyer gun: A. C. Richard; February 28, 1899
* ironing board: Sarah Boone; December 30, 1887
* key chain: F. J. Loudin; January 9, 1894
* lantern: Michael C. Harvey; August 19, 1884
* lawn mower: L. A. Burr; May 19, 1889
* lawn sprinkler: J. W. Smith; May 4, 1897
* lemon squeezer: J. Thomas White; December 8, 1893
* lock: W. A. Martin; July 23, 18–
* lubricating cup: Ellijah McCoy; November 15, 1895
* lunch pail: James Robinson; 1887
* mail box: Paul L. Downing; October 27, 1891
* mop: Thomas W. Stewart; June 11, 1893
* motor: Frederick M. Jones; June 27, 1939
* peanut butter: George Washington Carver; 1896
* pencil sharpener: J. L. Love; November 23, 1897
* record player arm: Joseph Hunger Dickenson January 8, 1819
* refrigerator: J. Standard; June 14, 1891
* riding saddles: W. D. Davis; October 6, 1895
* rolling pin: John W. Reed; 1864
* shampoo headrest: C. O. Bailiff; October 11, 1898
* spark plug: Edmond Berger; February 2, 1839
* stethoscope: Imhotep; Ancient Egypt
* stove: T. A. Carrington; July 25, 1876
* straightening comb: Madam C. J. Walker; Approx 1905
* street sweeper: Charles B. Brooks; March 17, 1890
* phone transmitter: Granville T. Woods; December 2, 1884
* thermostat control: Frederick M. Jones; February 23, 1960
* traffic light: Garrett Morgan; November 20, 1923
* tricycle: M. A. Cherry; May 6, 1886
* typewriter: Burridge & Marshman; April 7, 1885

13 05 2008
Sister Toldja

* biscuit cutter: A.P. Ashbourne; November 30, 1875

Hell yeah.

13 05 2008
Funkyblackchick

@ teachthemwell: I thought I was the only one who knew about that series!! It was one of my favorite shows..!

13 05 2008
Lolo

Thank you for air conditioning …
also, thank you for pain relief http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/julian/

13 05 2008
Esquire

Well you knew someone black did the biscuit cutter! What else am I supposed to eat with my fried chicken?

13 05 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@hrhkat

Everytime I encounter someone like you, I thank God for Billy Madison:

“[hrhkat], what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

13 05 2008
Merri Lee

So that means this blog won’t be renamed “Stuff A Tragic Mullato Hates?” Dammit.

13 05 2008
scarletjones

Damn man! ya’ll are killing me! i’m supposed to be working on my dissertation and ya’ll are distracting me like a mutha.

I had to add my 2 pennies:

1.) Chris you were on it today with this post. Interracial dating is annoying when the motivation for the choice is fucktarded and clearly a product of self-loathing and the inability to own up to and work out a person’s personal childhood/young adult shit.

1.a) It also makes me burn when people that decide to interracially date and marry are intentionally oblivious to the types of struggles their children will have to inherit and think they will be able to hide them in a buble and by the time they grow up racism will be dead and they will be ok….. those people are LOSERS!

2.) Sista Toldja – please don’t wait 12 years… you gotta add some lovely black babies to the struggle to help us all out. The more folks with sense raising grown folks with sense in our community the better. I also agree that there has to be more done to reinforce self worth in our young black women. I’m surprised that no one’s mentioned the possible connection that the lack of father figures in some of our households has added to the lack of self esteem and self love that you find with many of our young women. A woman that doesn’t respect herself and love herself will put up with anything and allow for everyone else to define her beauty and personal self worth. And I also would like to extend my condolences for the re-introduction of your trauma (biting ass ethiopian men = felony)

3.) BLACK WOMEN STOP BEING ASHAMED OF LIKING SEX!

4.) chris has a girlfriend! yay! please get as much shag as possible because from some of those previous posts it sounds like you got some catching up to do. And make sure she serves you titty pancakes because you know you got offers up in here so she gotta keep her game tight! LOL.

4.) Russell wong is Man-tastic!

5.) @hrhkat – what the french toast? you get automatic admission to the “abuse of clinical priveleges list” because i’m convinced that yo ass is logged on from an internet cafe that’s within a 5 mile radius of the inpatient ward you just escaped from. That post was manic and crazy. Please go back to Shady Pines and make sure you swallow all of those meds they were giving you. it’s for your own good… trust me.

6.) @ “Stuff A Tragic Mullato Hates?” – I love it! you gotta give that title to the TV movie, Chris!

13 05 2008
Merri Lee

5.) @hrhkat – what the french toast? you get automatic admission to the “abuse of clinical priveleges list” because i’m convinced that yo ass is logged on from an internet cafe that’s within a 5 mile radius of the inpatient ward you just escaped from. That post was manic and crazy. Please go back to Shady Pines and make sure you swallow all of those meds they were giving you. it’s for your own good… trust me.

*crying*

13 05 2008
mrspen

well, thank god for the comments section because i was thinking you were saying you hated interracial dating. i get it now.

look at you chris with the BLACK LAW STUDENT you’re dating. congrats!

and yes, i can confirm that we are all pink inside, i checked my husband this morning.

13 05 2008
Stephanie

RUSSELL WONG!!!!! I saw him in the background of some picture for an upcoming movie. So I guess he has something new coming out soon.

And yes, I totally remember VANISHING SON!

13 05 2008
Dom

People can say whatever they want to about accepting love in all its shapes and colors. They can profess to loving whoever they want to and being so open minded and liberal that they dont even see race in interacial couples.

But at the end of the day I think anyone would have a problem if the ONLY couples they saw in public were women/men of thier own race dating people of opposite races. That’s what happens here in Boston, and the shit is irksome.

13 05 2008
Lauren

I pretty much believe that people should date who they want. And though this wont be a popular belief, interracial dating has nothing to do with the rates of marriage among black women. It has everything to do with the lack of respect black men have for black women and the lack of respect black women have for themselves. Trust me. I hate EVERYBODY, black men, white men, black women, white women. I like people on a case by case basis, so when I say this I am not being biased. But I have noticed that many black women dont REQUIRE anything of thier men. They fuss, but even when a man fucks up, there they are taking him back again. He cheats? They put up with it. He treats her like shit? He still gets to come over for a booty call. He won’t marry you? Leave him and mean it. If we stopped putting up with how men treated us they wouldn’t do it.

But that’s just my opinion

14 05 2008
MayDarling

You misunderstand.

I didn’t say Black men didn’t holler. I said that they didn’t holler in correct way.

“Not because I don’t like black women, but because a.) black women tend not to be attracted to me and b.) most other races are. I love black women, but I’m not gonna break my balls just trying to get the time of day from a black girl when the hot indian girl across the room is asking ME for MY number.”

Ditto that.

“I personally don’t care. Sure I’ll give black women shit for doing it, but I give everyone shit for everything. It’s all in good fun.”

Oh. Ok. Then I guess it’s ok to give you shit right back.

“Your success with other races can be explained in all likelihood by cultural guilt or fetishism feeding a remarkably high bullshit tolerance.”

Ditto that again. Just remember, that phrase is just as much a reflection as it is a pronouncement.

14 05 2008
Shine

@Stephanie
Russel Wong is going to be in a new movie!? What’s the name, you know I gotta support my number 2 husband!

14 05 2008
Knde

Rather late to this, but in my personal experience I’ve received a LOT of flak from American black women in particular for dating interracially.

This occurred most when I lived in Pittsburgh. I met my current partner (who is white) while on an exchange program in the US. I stayed until the end of my undergrad and got everything from nasty looks, to snide comments, to downright rude attitudes.

I never understood it. I don’t believe I encouraged it. I guess I’ll never know . For what it’s worth, he moved across the pond to be with me and we’re still going strong. So as you can imagine my stance on dating, is date who ever you want to date. I don’t believe in living your life for anyone else but yourself.

14 05 2008
Seraph

great post. if people were meant to stick to their own race then there would be something that kept it from working like weird shaped genitals, black people would be circles, white people would be triangles and japanese people would be origami cranes etc. , but we’re not. I’m black, mai fiance` is white and i don’t even think about it until someone asks me something stupid like, “has he ever called you the n-word?” our parts fit. thats all that matters.

14 05 2008
Uhura

Sista T has some points about chauvanistic men: African men and WI men do tend to be chauvanistic and very much into “women at the bottom” thinking.

Luckily for her-African American men (and American men in general) suffer from no such impediment.

Tee hee.

14 05 2008
Uhura

hrhkat made some very interesting points…

14 05 2008
Mrs.Epps

Personally I could care less who you date.. wether he or she is black, white, asian, latino ect.. who cares if you like them you like them..ppl look to much in to the color of skin rather than personality and values. My mom(puerto rican) divorced my black father when i was 2 yrs old because he was a total dick to her and me. My mom re-married to a white guy well shit he’s more ethnic than any other person I know probably because he grew up with a black step-dad but i mean he’s still an italian and irish white guy and he’s the best dad ever!

15 05 2008
Stephanie

@ Shine

I forgot what website I saw it on. Anyway, IMDB says that he’s supposed to be in the “The Mummy 3”.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005568/

15 05 2008
Shine

Damnit! I hate those mummy movies. And i hate brendan fraisier. This puts me in a quandry

16 05 2008
Uhura

Why people actually believe that their little life tales / anecdotes can serve to disprove huge quantities of statistical data is beyond me…

16 05 2008
london

picking up where i left off a few days ago..
at ST and lisaturtle..
maybe it’s because nigerian and west indian women are apt to laugh in a man’s face if he doesn’t come over very well in the first syllable of his chat up line… i have done it and so have most of my peers… it’s normal..
we can cope with it… we treat this shit as sport…
would be studmiffin knows we regard ourselves highly and has to make damned sure ”come on if you think you are bad…”
no-one that i do not know talks to me in a club or elsewhere if i do not wish it…
it’s all about how you hold yourself…
you will have had to grow up in the environment to understand i think…

17 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Scarlet, I am 23. In fact, I think I am gonna turn 23 again this year, cause it’s a good age and I want to do a better job at being 23 than I did last year. So me waiting 12 more years to have kids isn’t really a stretch. Ideally, I’d get hitched at 30 (like, exactly 30 or 29 at the youngest). I have it all planned in my head, and we all know that things work out, when it comes to marriage, EXACTLY as we plan them. I meet the fella when I am 27ish, we have a lovely courtship of two years, get engaged and have 6-7 months to plan the lavish on a reasonable budget wedding. Add a brownstone in Brooklyn and two years of wedded bliss and I will roll out with my first baby, Theolonious Malik. Then a girl, then little Miles ends the child making. And there I am, the perfect blend of Denise and Claire Huxtable in my BK brownstone with a son named Theo. HOLLA!

22 05 2008
justelise

Since I’m Biracial, any relationship I’m in is interracial! Yuk Yuk!

Ok, seriously, I’ve spent most of my life on the outskirts of the black community because of my skin tone. I’ve either been degraded and hated because I was light-skinned, or had darker individuals (mostly women, although plenty of men have thought the same) assume I thought I was better than them because I was light-skinned. I was also physically assaulted (repeatedly) by a black male when I was 11-13 years old. I never felt comfortable with black men outside of my family after that, and I haven’t dated any. My family is also Caribbean, and men from the Caribbean are extraordinarily chauvinistic. This is also a major turn-off.

Essentially I’ve dated everything under the sun except for black men. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t date a black man, but I haven’t men one that was educated and showed me the same level of respect I’ve received from guys of every other ethnic group I’ve dated (and I’ve dated some awesome guys so the bar is set pretty high). It got to a point that I stopped looking for black guys to date because of it.

The truth is that 70% of Black American women are unmarried (http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200704/20070406/slide_20070406_284_106.jhtml), and I think part of the problem is that they are reluctant to date outside of their race. They wait around for the perfect black man, who just may not be coming. I’m not saying that marriage has to be the norm for everyone, but realistically you should look for someone who makes you happy, race be damned.

I’m sure that plenty of Black women and men date outside of their race exclusively for status, but if they’ve found someone that makes them happy, why do you have to hate on them? My mother is white, and it’s given me a relatively colorblind point of view when it comes to socializing and dating. Ultimately, the truth is that I gravitate to educated people who treat me with respect, and the group of people who fit the bill have been very racially diverse, and my dating pattern reflects this.

23 05 2008
scarletjones

Well damn Sister Toldja, I was sure you were older than 23! you making ME feel old, married, and mommied up! In light of your age, your marriage plan is very sound. 🙂

One thing I will say to any woman that is young now and wants to have kids later, is don’t wait too late. I have many, many friends that ended up having complicated or unsuccessful pregnancies in their early 30’s. It’s funny because as young women we spend most of our youth trying to keep from becoming someone’s baby momma, but never figure that having babies will possibly be complicated for us later. The estrogen is not always kind to us. 😦

23 05 2008
Nice

@ Scarletjones- I know what you mean. I was engaged to my sons father for 2 yrs before even getting pregnant and still ended up a babymama- the LAST thing I wanted. But it is all good. Children are a blessing however they come about.

23 05 2008
scarletjones

True that @Nice. I ended up getting pregnant with my son like 3 months after i got married. he wasn’t planned but he’s the best little thing i’ve got going on in my life right now.

23 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Early 30’s! Shit. I thought that infertility was a White woman’s disease, LOL. J/K. I know that your fertility decreases a bit every year after 20-something, but I still thought I had another 10-12 of prime baby making time. 😦

This is a small part of why I got serious about excercising and eating healthier, because being pregnant is a huge deal to me. I just don’t really want to do it before 30 and I REFUSE to do it before I am married (no offense to anyone, just a personal choice). If I am over 35 and still single, God forbid, I would reconsider that stance.

23 05 2008
benjie

i’ll be 27 *gulp* this june 9th (which is a national holiday btw…at least it should be)

i’ve decided that if i dont get have children by at least 33,
it probably isn’t gonna happen.
it just makes sense to me.
my mom had me when she was 33 and it worked out. we were both young at the same time. she turned 50 when i turned 18.

i dunno
i would love to be a parent. but i don’t wanna be an old parent.

we’ll see i guess.

24 05 2008
Quirky Cutie

@Sister Toldja, my mother had my younger brother (100% healthy) when she was 40 – and she wasn’t trying to get pregnant! Don’t underestimate your genes and how you take care of yourself. I myself am more worried about finding a quality guy for marriage as I get older than being able to get pregnant, although b/c my mother had me late, I can’t wait too long if I want the kid to know his/her grandparents. 30-35 is ideal for me b/c I want to enjoy my youth for a bit before a kid sucks all my time/energy/money. Once you have a kid, you’re not free for another 18+ years.

24 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Word, QC! My late grandmother had the last of her 9 children after 40. She died at 74 when I was 10, my other grandmother died at 80 last year. My mom will be a youthful looking (no, really) 60 in November and my dad just made 55. If I start having children at 30, my mom will be 67 by the time I have the first one. I’m sad that my kids wont know their maternal great grands and I just hope that my kids get to know my parents.

OMG, I have the best story from last night. It involves a White man, alchohol. 3 of my girls and McDonalds. I thought about y’all! Liquor is a hell of a drug.

24 05 2008
scarletjones

^^Oh lord. do we really want to know the story? I think the most curious part of the story will definitely include the McD’s though. 🙂

and for the record i’m definitely not encouraging baby making outside of marriage or before 30. i’m just putting the word out that the possibility of fertility has apparently decreased for a lot of young women, so as unfortunate as it is, when young women have an interest in having babies they now seem to need to consider an earlier timeline than before.

and @benji, stop gulping at 27 girl! you are in the prime of your life… and after going to my nephew’s 8th grade graduation, it has just reminded me of how much being a young person sucked large engorged blue ape BALLS! you couldn’t pay me to be young again. 😛

24 05 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

I love female human beings. I don’t like biggots racists and the like and Im not sure if a particular skin color is always attached to that. I do have my druthers when it comes to women and thats got more to do with mindset and personality than color however Id be lying if I said that I don’t find it more pleasing to be with human beings that are more like me and since color is an issue in our external reality and part of our collective concious it influences my choices.

24 05 2008
Prime Minister Cinema

oh by the way im half black and jalapeno. i guess that makes me gelatto. hot shit right? …fuck outta here.

28 05 2008
WargodPR1

WTF!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS INTER-RACIAL DATING? LOL

As I understand it, the only thing that matters is that we are all of the same species and genus. “Race” is a creation of man to separate and dictate values and levels of worth. Don’t fall into the mindset that you are lesser or better than another based on the assessment of small minded people! It’s already been proven that these things fall apart when directly opposed…need an example?

Jesse Owens in the Olympics. Hitler said that the black man could not compete on an equal playing field with the Aryan (Hindi) man. Ummm, he won every race he was in in the Olympics…shut up Hitler…

“Race” is a figment of man, much like other things in this world. Date whomever you are comfortable with!

28 05 2008
Sister Toldja

Interracial dating is when a strong Black man passes over a Nubian Queen for a cave bitch, my dear. LOL!

28 05 2008
naapali

Finally I have found someone that shares my cosmic perspective in evaluating human concerns and affectations. We will all die so we might as well love and fuck (consenting of course) each other as much as we can.

3 06 2008
dewfish

HeavenLeiBlu’s first post shut this whole thing down in my opinion. If you are dating whomever you like, do it and be happy. If you are dating them as “revenge” for past grievances, you are pathetic and less than human.

4 09 2008
sikemajor

I agree. People are still bothered by this topic but there are so many people, especially black women who don’t. I think some black men want us to be angry, in general, not just about this. Black men are more harassing, aggressive and quite frankly, angry whenever I encounter them in public and I am happy and/or with a guy of another race. I have had confrontations occur and even had to call security/police. It’s very annoying. Other than my immediate family, I really cannot be bothered with them in any capacity whatsoever. It is very frustrating, tiring, and emotionally exhausting. I have had my car tampered with, stalking, harassment, had to put in a really expensive alarm, police reports and I don’t live in the hood, just the city area. Honestly, this sounds bad as a black woman but I secretly cheer when they are with a white woman as that reduces the potential confrontation for the day that I have to face. And to be clear, I don’t bother them or bait them at all. I enjoy peace, serenity and generally to be left alone other than by people I know and care about. As the blog pointed out, we are all gonna die, everyone you know will die, so why not enjoy the time we are here, or at least make an attempt to enjoy.

3 04 2009
aikozord

The concept of inter-racial love is as an absolute and vicious lie, if we allow ourselves to breed with these degenerate filth, our genetic heritage will be gone. For the sake our or genetic purity, we must cast out those who would dilute our genetic purity with their filthy half-breed children

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