Children II

21 04 2008

Part of an ongoing series. See the original Children article here.

I’ve recently started taking public transportation to work. This, combined with my early-in/early-out schedule (I arrive at 7am and leave around 3pm – right when school lets out) means one thing and one thing only: I have to deal with a bunch of goddamn motherfucking kids getting on my subway trains.

Figure 1: The children are the future. The apocalypse is in the future. It all makes sense.

In an earlier post, I claimed that nothing was more indicative of the plight of black people than the ‘black’ grocery store. I was wrong. The single biggest indicator of the plight of black America is the behavior of our children.

My daily Metro ride from White Flint station to Woodley Park is usually the most peaceful 15 minutes or so of my day. There’s practically no one on the train. No one has their mp3 player turned all the way up so I can hear exactly what songs they’re listening to with earbud headphones all the way on the other side of the fucking train. There are no whinos in the car either. I can sit in the elder-handicapped reserved seats and stretch out my freakishly long legs as I read a book or whip out my laptop to work on websites. Then we hit Woodley Park, and all fucking hell breaks loose.

Figure 2: Tactical Map of My Misery

At Woodley Park, 20 motherfucking kids leap into the train, knocking over old people and stepping on peoples’ shoes without even thinking to turn around and offer an ‘excuse me’ or ‘I’m sorry’. They fill up all the seats as quickly as possible, leaving the adults (especially the old people) who are legitimately tired to stand up the entire time. But the worst part of all…

They are all SCREAMING at each other.

It doesn’t matter whether they’re sitting right next to each other, or at opposite ends of the car. They scream at the top of their lungs. They are swearing profusely in front of adults, and not only do they not care – they seem to be proud of it. Ten year old boys are watching grown women walk by and saying shit like “yea she sexy as shit. I’d FUCK”, and they’re making sure the woman hears it. These demonic embryos are trying to mimic or assert adulthood by embracing the worst parts of being grown up.

At each stop, more and more of these little fuck-cunts jump onto my train. A feeding-frenzy of swearing, screaming, running, jumping, and property damage ensues that makes me feel I’ve been transported onto a pirate ship commanded by grog-filled midgets with plastic barettes in their hair.

Figure 3: …you get the idea

As I sit there with all five of my senses being assaulted by the little pro-choice justifications cutting up all around me, I can’t help but realize that one day these children will grow up, and there will be no hope for them. They will have no idea how to function in the real world. They will be listless followers of MTV and BET. They will watch Tyler Perry movies and actually enjoy them. They will be sociopathic and not even know it. They will be utterly unemployable. They will never take the Hippocratic Oath or pass the bar. They will be the reason Democrats raise taxes on me again.

The little shitholes finally make their exit at L’Enfant Plaza, leaving me with just enough time to regain my sanity before my exit stop at Federal Center SW. I walk four blocks to my condo, all the while avoiding the urge to play in traffic. I get home and pop ‘Idiocracy‘ into my DVD player for the 10th time. I realize that I’m not seeing comedy; I’m seeing into the fucking future.

Maybe the Mayans were right, and we’ll get lucky and have the world end on December 21, 2012.

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257 responses

21 04 2008
Redline

I agree 100% I hate the little hoodrats that make riding the Metro a painful experience. They’re even more brutal when they crowd on to the bus.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

wow. Unfortunately, I experience a similar commute, luckily it’s shorter.
What amazes me is that is the kids in uniforms that are the worst behaved. Folks argue that uniforms, private schools, charter schools, whatever, are “better” for our children and forget that they still have to instill manners and common sense in them.
The worst is when an adult tries to check these little bastards and they swarm like piranha.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

I swear… this here should be the justification to beat the hell out of someone else’s children. Then turn around and beat their parents.

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

@ Admiral,

You mean we’re NOT allowed to beat other people’s kids? Uh oh… You might not hear from me for a while..

21 04 2008
Lady

There is nothing worse than cussing children. It makes me cringe. Makes me want to slap their parents for not instilling some kind of respect for other people in them. By that time it’s too damn late though. Preteens, tweens, whatever the hell they want to be called are the most annoying SOBs to be around when they’re in a pack. More often than not they’re disrespectful just for the sake of being disrespectful, they DO enjoy screaming (wtf is that about anyway), and just annoy me.

I was in the food court one day and this big group, probably like 8 kids deep rolled up, got their food and then was playing around like they were at a frickin play groud. Loud, cussing, throwing food, belching and ish.. I just tried to keep my sons attention so he wouldnt hear all the mess they were talking about, and yea i coulda moved but i didn’t want too. It was all good until some food hit us and I got up and said ‘Y’all hit me and my son with some fries and I know you know it cause i saw you laughing. An apology would have been nice’. They all looked at me like i was crazy. For one, i felt really old and adult, i was them about 10 years ago, sans the barbaric behavior.. One of the girls was trying to push one of the guys to apologize and he just kept saying ‘Evan threw it! Evan threw it’ so we just left. As soon as i turned my back i heard them say ‘Did you hear that fu*kin b*tch demand an apology? Who the hell does she think she is?’. So I yelled back ‘don’t worry you’re about to find out’ and i went to get mall security.. disrepectful bastards!

21 04 2008
JustMe

Pretty much. I had to suppress going into a murderous rage last week on the Metro as some ashy, foul-mouthed, spitting, teenaged hoodlum cursed his way from Fort Totten to Chinatown and then treatened a man who tried to tell him not to be so rude. All the way I hoped that someone, perhaps a crazy ex-military officer would just snap and beat him until he was little more than a bloody lump of flesh writhing on the floor. Unfortunately though that didn’t happen so I just resorted to fantasies of strangling him with my purse strap…

21 04 2008
judd

as a car was passing me on my ride home from work the other day, a kid leaned out the window–to this waist!–to push me on my bike. i was able to regain my balance and not lose any teeth, but what the fuck?! he just leaned back in and high-fived his boys in the front seat.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Seriously, this is sad. 50 years ago, children were terrified to cut up in public due to fear that they would be disciplined by adults immediately around them; all before getting a more severe disciplining session from their parents. Now… adults are afraid of these “never should have been born” rug rats roaming free to terrorize the public because the children might be packing heat. What do I blame? Child abuse laws. We had this discussion before and I REFUSE to back down from my stance that parents should be allowed to enact physical discipline on their children. The pussy footed method of “oh spanking your child is abuse” has led the domino affect for these children’s downfall… with various forms of media and unruly communities falling in line for runner up.

You know, this makes me think of something that happened just this weekend. There’s a bad child that lives across the street from my house who insists on keeping himself in trouble. Chris will remember this child, as one day earlier this year this same child decided to walk up to my vehicle and begin playing with the radio antennae. Of course a quick tongue lashing from yours truly and Oscar drove the child away from my vehicle… but that instance doesn’t even come close to the story I’m about to tell you.

This same child decided to take a basketball and go ALONG THE ROW OF CARS IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE AND START BEATING EACH CAR WITH IT! I was in my kitchen preparing food when I heard the inevitable sound of rubber meeting metal in a slow rhythmic drum, as if something awful was approaching our houses. I looked out and my jaw dropped when I saw this happen. I was frozen for all of about five seconds… or until I saw him reach the end of the row of cars and then turn towards the row in front of my house.

Like clockwork… I ran to my door and yanked it open… but alas the woman next door had beat me to the punch and immediately began screaming at the child to stop bouncing the ball on people’s cars. I was grinning with glee at the sound of her voice. Meanwhile, several other people, including his mother had emerged from their houses and joined in on the melee. I didn’t even have to say a word while the spectacular tag team of the neighbors jumping down the mothers throat ensued as apparently her child was much more of a nuisance than I had originally thought. Irresponsible parenting is such a bitch. There’s another story that I’ll post later on… which outlines more irresponsible parenting and a sadder outcome.

–This makes me so mad thinking about it.

21 04 2008
Esquire

@ JUDD OMG!! That’s called Assault AND battery. hoodlums.

My husband teaches middle school and gets threatened on a daily basis. Stop feeding your children steriods and dog food so they are so big and loud in the 6th grade. BET and MTV are NOT allowed in my house.

The school board is scared of the principals, the principals are scared of the teachers, the teachers are scared of the parents, the parents are scared of the kids, and the god damned kids aint scared of NOBODY.

21 04 2008
Esquire

@ Admiral,
at least his mother joined in.

Most parents defend thier children acting like monkeys in the street. “You dont talk to MY child that way, Cmon Shashequa.” ” You betta raise the f#$% outta my child’s face!” and on and on.

…again, I refer to my man Mr. Cosby.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

DUDEEEEEEEeee I have to agree with all of this. I use to take the train to work until I got my car and it was madness. All the little bastard children on the damn train loud as hell with loud ass music in ringing in their ears, scremaing at their friends talking about not a goddamn thing. One day I was going to slap this boy that was about 15 or 16 when I walked on the train one day going to see my mom for lunch. I was walking by him and all the other ppl standing up and he had the nerve to brush/ grind is dick on me while I was scooting through and said ” hey ma where you going girl”. I wanted to stop and knock his ass to the ground. But I didnt because a old lady was standing directly behind him. You know what I also hate those young ass girls that ride the bus that never gives her seat up for old ppl just because she is a women/ got her 1st fucking period I guess and have the nerve to talk shit about you and stare in your face like you stole her boyfriend. Not to mention the really small kids cursing in the back on the bus or train that are about 9 or 10 WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR PARENTS AT. And these are the kids that are going to take care of us when we are old. GOD HELP US ALL SMH Thank god I have my car and work that is now 10 mins away from my house. But damn those gas prices. sighs…

21 04 2008
imaG

I’d beat yo kids in a second 🙂

http://www.anythingblack.net

21 04 2008
Sylvia/M

See, that’s exactly why I’m that chick with her earbuds blasting Rock Band #12 across the bus when I’m riding to and from school. I don’t have time for that shit. Just let me find a seat, sit with my loud music or my book, and we’ll be good.

21 04 2008
letinstar

*sigh* i feel your pain…riding home on the bus last week or so, i had the “pleasure” of hearing an entire conversation, spoken at outside voice levels about how one of them was going to beat up somebody at school the next day because they spied that person having a “sidekick” cellphone and they wanted it…

on the train a few weeks ago, i got to hear a delightful conversation about condoms and why NOT to use them…all loudly spoken, peppered with the “N” word amongst a train full of white folks…

this is OUR future…

21 04 2008
Charlee

I think you enjoy shitting on my blog! Keep up the good work!

21 04 2008
Merb

Chris, you should just beat all of those kids on that train, just do it there parents are not around. Doing so would be a great service to the community.

I know this next thought is a bit extreme and will never happen, but…
I think that the government should put birth control implant into everyone that is getting a welfare check from them. This is help control bad parenting if they not allowed to become parents.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

OH!!!! ESQUIRE JUST REMINDED ME….

SHE WAS DEFENDING HIM! Talking about, he’s just a child and boys will be boys and I see yo kids runnin around actin foolish, yada yada yada.

WRONG thing to do. I see it like this. In order for these children to respect their elders, is that the parent must agree that their child has done wrong and provide public humiliation therefore. THEN, take the child inside, return outside alone and have a word with the adults without any children present.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

DC children are the saddest thing ever. I worked at Bertie Backus Elementary in NE for a spell teaching Playwrighting to children who would raise their hand to represent their neighborhood gang*.

Future Inmate: Miss Jamilah?**
Me: Yes?
FI: Did you know Sursum Cordas*** was up in this piece?

These same children wrote a poem about Coretta Scott King telling “the white people to kiss her ass” and submitted theses little gems:

“Malcolm X died by the pump/
Dudes get slumped/
Girls got humps/
Rest in peace Slush/
Sursum Cordas bust back….”

“Harriet Tubman/
Give me your number giiiiiirl”

I’ve been working in education for the past 3 years and I have many more stories. Not all are bad like this, but it went with the theme. I am trying to change fields this summer…..

*-DC doesn’t have Bloods and Crips, they have neighborhood/project tenement/block gangs. It’s weird.
**Because I had to let them call me by my first fucking name, because though they can pronounce LaShaQuaTraPrisonWanda, they couldn’t quite handle Lemieux.

*** Project tenement that is now set to become Sursum Cordas Condominiums.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Judd- that’s messed up he pushed you while your on your bike! Thats just cruel.

Esquire-Most parents defend thier children acting like monkeys in the street. “You dont talk to MY child that way, Cmon Shashequa.” ” You betta raise the f#$% outta my child’s face!” and on and on.

Yea I know a mother like that my fiancee’s baby mama.. OMGG I cant stand that woman everytime I see her when we pick up his daughter I want to slap her. Because what she does reflects off her daughter. She isnt even 5 yet and is already disrespectful to my fiancee. Sometimes I just want to pop her in her mouth for saying certain things to him. But I cant another persons child. But I tell you this if she was my daughter her ass OOOOOOhh this little girl would be saying Yes Ma’am and sir.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

oh my god @ Judd and Mrs Epps stories. Judd – were you able to report that? And Mrs. Epps, you should kneed him in his tiny, dirty balls, regardless of who was around. I have to admit, I get scared of these kids, too. It’s hard to confront a mob mentality in public. I notice when other adults confront disrespectful kids solo, they don’t receive any back-up.

21 04 2008
Educated NSU Demon

Oh God…pro-choice justifications indeed! What’s especially bad is that, probably the ONLY reason why kids act the way they do is b/c the adults in their lives let them get away with it. Parents today are too concerned with being their kids friends and making sure they like them, when they forget that kids aren’t supposed to LIKE you, they’re supposed to RESPECT you. And, as you’ve pointed out in a past post) the primary way that they can RESPECT you is if they FEAR you. Kids will learn how to behave themselves simply out of FEAR of the consequences that could be waiting for them at home if they make their parents look inadequate based on how they behave. But these days, it’s the other way around. Parents are afraid of their own children, and it’s a damn shame.

And now that I’ve said my piece, I’m going to go get a vasectomy. Deuces!

21 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I think you enjoy shitting on my blog! Keep up the good work!”

Haha, this one was all love girl. I’m a complicated man 😉

21 04 2008
Lady

When i was growing up my neighbors were allowed to tap that ass and then bring me to my house where my grandmother would then tap my ass and when my parents got home i got the same deal.

If i was out on the street doing something wrong and someone from my neighborhood or that knew my fam saw me cutting up, they’d come tell me about myself and then call my grandma to make sure she knew for when I got home.

It seriously does take a village, if your kid only has respect inside the house and then acts a fool out in public and no one says anything what good is it? After a while i got the message cause i didn’t know WHO out there knew my fam so i was too damn paranoid to mess up. I can distinctly remember strangers coming up to me and telling me ‘you shouldn’t be playing with fire crackers, you shouldn’t be throwing the ball around like that when people are walking by, i saw you put that bag of chips in your book bag you better take it out and tell the man what you did, and i’m tellin your grandma too.’

No one cares anymore.. it’s always someone else’s problem. I won’t hit any one else’s kid, but i’ve *talked* to someone else’s kid many times in public. If it’s not right it’s not right, and i wasn’t raised to just sit there and be quiet.

21 04 2008
Esquire

@Sister Toldja
“Future Inmate: ”

ROFL

Bad Ass kids are not just in the metro areas. They are in SC too. Just this past weekend, some kid down in Chesterfield SC made plans to take out his entire prom. The kids down here are “bored” because there are no teen clubs and other such foolishness…teen clubs??? WTF? They call themselves making little fake gangs (baby guerillas, baby bloods) down here and shootin up shit. HUH? Go sit down somewhere. You dont even wear deodarant yet.

BTW: Jamilah is a beeeeeautiful name. Much much much better than JaQuan, DaQuan, Dededrick, Shawanna, Mercedes, Hyneefah, and Saquisha…some of my husbands students names.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Sister Toldja…

ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?

Man I don’t even know what to say to that.

And Judd… by chance did you get the plate number of that car? I’m sorry thats not just wrong… thats justification for retribution.

21 04 2008
Esquire

Mrs Epps: you have to be careful with the baby mamas. Its sad, and hard, but you cannot let a child disrespect your house, your husband, your beliefs. So let her act like a little monkey around her mama…but she knows what time it is when she goes to daddy’s house.

Everyone always focuses on the little boys, but these girls have the devil in them too. Stop it while you can.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Right I was this close to Tap Dacing on his face@ knatrualbeauty. But he had all his friends with him too. F that. But I did give him a look of death to him and his boys if he walked over to were I finally ended up on the train.

Esquire- yes bass ass kids are not just only in the metro. They are at the movies, the mall,school, basiaclly any public area there are hoodlums.

Me and my fiancee went to the movies last month and there was a teen couple in the back row where the girl was(im about 95% positive) was giving dude a BJ or HJ i was like WTF!! Like whats the point of you spending your money to go to the movies to get blown. Take that shit to the woods or something hahah

21 04 2008
Lady

@ Mrs. Epps

There have to be some kind of house rules that she’s going to follow. And if you’re getting married you’re going to have to be able to discipline her somehow if she acts up. None of that ‘wait for daddy to get home’ mess. She won’t respect you.

I always tell my friends I have no problem letting their kids come over to play, but the same rules my kids go by, they go by, you don’t like it don’t come here. You can jump on the couch at home, over here you get to go stand in the corner..

You gotta catch her now because when she’s a teenager mouthing off it will be too late.. y’all will REALLY have problems then..

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

See that’s the thing@ Esquire she wont disrespect me she knows I dont play that shit. But its her Dad that she feels like she can say anything do anything she wants to him. I keep telling him he needs to do something about it ASAP because next thing you know she will be 16 only calling you for money for some Coach purse or something. Like what gets me is the crap she says to him and get away with. One day we all went out to the park to play with our dogs and I dont know what happened between leaving the playground and going home but this little fast mouth had the nerve to call her Daddy a loser(probably because she is so use to her mother saying it infront of her) and proceeded to say that he loved me more than her and that she hates him for that. My face turned red and I started to speed walk across the street with my feelings hurt and pretty pissed off that she even uses the words like “loser and hate” and she would think that he loves me more than her. She is only 5! So he stops her and I guess has a talk with her. I dont know what he said but it didnt work. So when she had something else smart to say I took it apoun myself to tell her that if she uses words like that in our house you will sit in the corner alone facing the wall since I cant tap her on her ass hahaha. But its hard sometimes because I feel like he looks at me in a way like DONT TELL ME HOW TO DECIPLINE my child, but he never says it. Man its gonan be hard when we have kids because I can tell you know I’m going to bad cop cracking the damn whip! He is way to sensitive when it comes to her. I tell him I know she is only 5 but shit when I was 5 hahaha i wouldnt even dream of talking to my mom or elders that way. I would be popped in the hand or mouth.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Thanks Esquire. May I add Lashaquana, Franisha and Raekwon to your list? I have had worse names, but I try to forget them.

Newark kids make DC kids look like prep school scholars. Newark kids tried to break in my car with a fork. They were seven.

Brooklyn kids are kinda rough too. When I first got there, I pulled up in front of an apartment I was checking out and these kids were playing ball outside. This little girl was like “Who are you? What are you doing over here?” I looked her square in the eye and said “My name is Ms. Lemieux and I am gonna live around here.” I’m also the same lady who looks after the kids in the neighborhood and helps em out. They need guidance and adults who aren’t afraid of them. Just talk to them like they are people.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Mrs. Epps…

It sounds like the child’s mother has more to do with the child’s mouth than anything. (shaking head) I bet the mother is an immature brat who doesn’t have the brains to figure out what she’s doing to her child. I’ve seen this all too often… especially with my GF’s sister and her children.

The discipline has to come from the root of the problem… her mother. Unfortunately, I fear that that may be FAR more easier said than done. Regardless, I think its all the child’s mother’s fault.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Right@ Lady… well we only have weekend visitation until the next child support hearing. But yes i agree with you on the setting rules for her. Because right now its like she thinks she can do whatever she want. Like I tell her to stop jumping on the bed and she will do it but if he tells her she will be like NO I cant do it at my house. I’ll be like well we aren’t at you house so get down. Like his assertiveness with her is limp. LIke he can’t say no to her.. its like a daddy little girl thing but F that. I tols him he need to crack that whip when she mouth off or she’;s goignt o think she can do it and its exceptable. She is def a little actress, extremly DRAMATIC. It’s so annoying sometimes. She is always crying about some small shit. She needs to toughen up a little bit. I told him that he should get her in to sports or maybe a summer camp where she can be with other kids. But the problem is that before she even tries stuff she she already gives up and says she can’t do it and gets that attitude Rolls eyes… Damn sensitive ass kids these days.. they are so pampered this litte girl has more Bath and Body works products than I do! So sad haha

21 04 2008
Esquire

@MRSEPPS

Well she is a smart little child, huh? She knows how to push his buttons. But what I try to remember with my stepson is that children (that age) will say things truly out of anger to hurt you. I suggest telling him that it really “hurts” you to see anyone, esp. a child disrespect him. You just would like him to be more assertive so that she does not walk all over him later in life.
Remember, you two are a team. And he has to do his part too. Because it will only get worse and she will flip on you or she will continue to “hate” on her daddy when she doesnt get her way. He has to try to undo what her mother has done, to a certain extent. (even though thats hard only two weekends out the month)

Worst case scenario: She will be one of those bad ass kids on the train teaching YOUR children how to be bad asses. My husband and I laid down GROUND RULES for his son so that he didnt try to kill my daughter or influence her in a negative way. When he gets mad, he says he wants his mommy. And I have to bite my tongue from saying your mama aint shit, because in the long run CHILDREN WILL FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT. As long as she knows her daddy loves her, your step daughter will figure out her mother is being trif. I promise you that. I watch Dr. Phil too much not to know that . lol
He has to show her he loves her by laying the whip down and demanding she respect him. unlike ghetto parents number 1 and 2 or rich white kids’ parents

PARENTS WHO LOVE THIER CHILDREN WHUP THIER ASS

21 04 2008
sarah

i am so mad that i moved to Navy Yard and can no longer walk to work. waiting for a train at L’enfant Plaza would make anyone want to jump in front of a train on Monday evenings. only i can’t be too mad. i went to DCPS. i used to go to Jeff Jr High, and i used to hang out at L’enfant Plaza. when i take a hard look, things havent really changed.

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

“I know this next thought is a bit extreme and will never happen, but…
I think that the government should put birth control implant into everyone that is getting a welfare check from them. This is help control bad parenting if they not allowed to become parents” = Me *Dead

“Malcolm X died by the pump/
Dudes get slumped/
Girls got humps/
Rest in peace Slush/
Sursum Cordas bust back….”

I choked. Is this for real? You didn’t just make this up? Stop… I don’t even wanna know.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

AF-It sounds like the child’s mother has more to do with the child’s mouth than anything. (shaking head) I bet the mother is an immature brat who doesn’t have the brains to figure out what she’s doing to her child

You know her to well. I told him this too! I think it is her. She is still bitter that he won’t take her back let alone really have anythign to say to her when he comes to pick her up. Her daughter calls his phone asking for me and tells her mom all the time that she loves me. YOU KNOW SHE”S PISSED because she def doesnt like me. ONe day this girl had the nerve to hit me up on myspace cursing me out saying I can have her leftovers and that she be dammed if I tried to act like I was her daughter’s mother. I have no idea where she got that idea from because at the time I only met my fiancee’s daughter about twice. bwhahah… She ahd the nerve to call me immature and to call her when I grow up. When infact she was the one who contacted me talking shit. So umm who’s immature again? Your 24 I’m 20. You’re an unemployed drop out living off your daughter’s $700 child support every month yes i said 700 fuckin bucks a month for one child and with your mother(who is cool as shit). Im in school graduating next from UMD college park with a job that pays more than $14 an hr!!!!! BITCH PLEASE!! Call me when you grow up.

21 04 2008
brran1

See you could try to whip their asses, but then there’s always the possibitly of getting jumped like that lady did on that bus here in Baltimore a few months back by the end result of 8 or 9 pregancies that should have been aborted.

U remember that story AF?

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

@ Mrs. Epps,

Gettin blown in the theater? Hey, allow me to pull a shabooty and say sometimes ya gotta do what it do!

Oh! I got a story! I was at the Hoffman theater in alexandria catchin a movie with my mom. In the middle of the fuckin movie, this lil middle school cunt gets a call and starts yappin and laughing real loud ruining the movie for everyone around her. My mom, who is USUALLY a break your neck at the first sign or ignorance type of person, asks the girl to please hang up. This piece of shit slut bag gave my mom the nastiest and rudest look and kept talking.

Now, normally I’m a pretty laid back guy who avoids confrontation. But don’t you ever, ever, EVER disrespect my family. I snatched the phone out of that bitch’s hand so fast, turned it off and threw it over the hand rail. Don’t care where is went, don’t care if it broke. These kids just think they can mouth off with no consequences which goes back to my point a month ago. Ass whoopin’s are 100% necessary in the upbringing of a child.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Sarah, we’re rivals, I went to Deal (I know, I know).
Things have changed. Things seem much worse now. When I was between 11-16, my parents had an omnipresent power over me, and the fear that some random adult would embarass me in public kept me from being TOO disrespectful on metro, on the bus, in the movie theatre, anywhere in public. And DC in the ’90s was a more crime-ridden place to live. That doesn’t mean I didn’t act up, I just thought about my surrounding first. Kids today don’t.
All kids rebel and cuss and act out, but to what degree. Of course it’s due to socio-economic background, child’s personality, birth order, a hold host of reasons that contribute to how kids act.

21 04 2008
Miss Cocoa Luv

This all about sums up my commute everyday. Try living in NYC. O you have no idea what it’s like. 101 bus that goes down 125th st btwn 2:30-5:00 pm IS THE WORST COMMUTE EVER. The Kids on that ish make you wanna get the tubes tied ASAP. Thank goodness my bro is in the motherland away from these fuckers. I so feel you on this one Chris. My list of things that I hate is growing with each minute.

21 04 2008
Nat

one time I was on the Metro and some ladies badass kid was playing by the door. the door opened and she said-please note she was deep in conversation with her girl and had to stop, ” (insert name), get away from the door before somebody snatches you up and I’m eternally grateful!” Yes she screamed it. Three other people( including me) started laughing outloud. She just looked at us and started laughing too.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

True that@ Esquire. Because as of now she does walk all over him and only him hahah. I sat him down and but it all in the open. Your daughter disrespects you and you know it. You need to fix that ASAP or it will get worse. I told him that you need to remember your the adult she is the child. You dont want her growing up being a stereo type of the common ghetto “fabulous” girl. She is very smart and I believe that if she spends more time with us she will truly see what a fmaily is because her mom is not showing her what that this let alone what respecting your elder’s is. Her mom is a whore but I’ll never tell her that of course. She is only 24 and already has 2 baby daddy and there might be a thrid soon. I dont want his daughter growing up to think that is ok. It’s sad..

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Oh hell Mrs. Epps…. She cussed you out on myspace? This trick is immature. Ain’t even worth your breath to laugh at.

21 04 2008
sarah

knaturalbeauty, what high school did you go to?

I know this next thought is a bit extreme and will never happen, but…
I think that the government should put birth control implant into everyone that is getting a welfare check from them.

not to throw the book at you, but this was a big government scandal. mostly involving minorities on welfare, their Medicaid offered to give them free birth control, implanting a device, Norplant, that would control birth for 5 years, but would not pay to take it out, leaving them to come up witht the hundreds of dollars to pay for removal. this was an epidemic among black women, who became so sick when implanted with the device, they would resort to cutting it out themselves. not only this, but there have been reports from poor black women of being sterilized and having abortions performed against their will.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

MR. SMITH!!!!!!! IM dying over here@Oh! I got a story! I was at the Hoffman theater in alexandria catchin a movie with my mom. In the middle of the fuckin movie, this lil middle school cunt gets a call and starts yappin and laughing real loud ruining the movie for everyone around her. My mom, who is USUALLY a break your neck at the first sign or ignorance type of person, asks the girl to please hang up. This piece of shit slut bag gave my mom the nastiest and rudest look and kept talking.

Now, normally I’m a pretty laid back guy who avoids confrontation. But don’t you ever, ever, EVER disrespect my family. I snatched the phone out of that bitch’s hand so fast, turned it off and threw it over the hand rail. Don’t care where is went, don’t care if it broke. These kids just think they can mouth off with no consequences which goes back to my point a month ago. Ass whoopin’s are 100% necessary in the upbringing of a child.

I WOULD PAY MONEY TO SEE THAT!!! I have had a similar experience at the movies as well, this little girl was on her phone chatting it up two rows down from us and I was fed up. I stood up and said “Ay yo shawty with the phone” she turned around and i was like ” shut the fuckk upppppp” like Juicy J on the three six mafia albums hahahaha and then proceeded to throw popcorn at her head hahaha.

21 04 2008
dteezy

Admiral Furious
I swear… this here should be the justification to beat the hell out of someone else’s children. Then turn around and beat their parents.

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BEAT YO KIDS!!! till they show some respect! we got too many kids raising kids, or kids raised by the streets… someone has got to beat some sense into them. Apparently parenting is just a hobby from the 50s.

21 04 2008
Seven

“PARENTS WHO LOVE THIER CHILDREN WHUP THEIR ASS” – Esquire

I think I’m going to have this printed on a T-shirt…

21 04 2008
Stephanie

“They will watch Tyler Perry movies and actually enjoy them.”

I’m DYING at this one. I’m glad someone else doesn’t find his movies funny.

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Mrs Epps, You killin me.

“Ay yo shawty with the phone” she turned around and i was like ” shut the fuckk upppppp” like Juicy J on the three six mafia albums hahahaha and then proceeded to throw popcorn at her head”

LMBAO!!! Throwin popcorn is always funny if the person deserves it. Like the kids that try that yawn and reach his arm around the chick next to him technique… Only to have his hand slapped away. He’s a def. popcorn-head target.

21 04 2008
Tamara

It’s funny because I was riding the metro yesterday, and this woman got on the train with her two little girls (from PG Plaza of course). It was the worst EVER! These little girls were swinging around the poles like strippers and the mom kept telling them to “shut up and stop all that ghetto shit,” but kept laughing. Then the mom had the nerve to pull out some leopard print undies and was checking them out while these girls are having a booty shaking fest.

I want the Lord to take me right there and then.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yea on MY FUCKIN SPACE!!!@ Mr Smith, if it was that serious she could have saved her fingers from called me instead of acting like a scared little/big bitch(she’s about 6’2 195 pounds) and we coulda settled it. Had the nerve to call me a slut when she’s the one with 2 baby daddies.. C’mon!!

21 04 2008
Tamara

*wanted

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

@ Sarah – Wilson, then Coolidge, then Eleanor Roosevelt in Greenbelt (moved a couple of times, obviously)

How come DC doesn’t enforce the curfew?

And what about parents who insist on taking small children to R-rated movies, especially after dark.

21 04 2008
Nat

Im a physician in Florida and while i cant imagine forcing people on Wellfare to take birth control, I swear to God I want to start putting chains around people’s knees so they cant open their legs. You gotta have a license to carry a gun, to sell liquor out of your establishment etc . Well i think they need to require a license to have a kid( or at least some damn good parenting classes for 9 months).

And let me just say since I live in Florida( yes its my fault) there is only one thing worse than a badass kid in 90 degree heat. Its old people in 90 degree heat( the equivalent of a badass kid to the 10th power

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Mr Smith-I love throwing popcorn at idiots in the movie.. and what pisses me off is that one loud black bitch that claps..why the fuck are you clapping! Where aren’t a damn concert! SHUT UP!!

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps

Honey I am so feeling for you. I’m gonna share my experiences being a witness to baby momma and step child drama. I’m 27 with a child of my own and my mom got remarried when I was 13…. and she’s still dealing with my dad not getting his shit together and checking his worthless ass daughter!

Please, please, please, please, please before you marry this dude make him put his house in order. The worst thing a man with a child can do to his new partner/spouse and their relationship is to have baby momma drama and refuse to own up and handle his business. He needs to check baby moms, he needs to check daughter and he needs to embrace you as a partner in the discipline of his daughter. If he’s down on this idea, ya’ll got problems in your future.

My stepsister was 8 when my parents started dating. My mom wasn’t playin that “no whippin” stuff with her though. She beat our ass so she was gon beat step-sis ass. And to this day my dad resents my mom for doing what he was too scared/inept to do. And it isn’t just that i think only beatings will work for discipline, he wouldn’t do ANYTHING to let her know her behavior toward us and my mom was inappropriate.

Here’s a great story for you. Step-sis got kicked out of her school before she was to start the 8th grade and her mom sent her to live with us. Even though she was in our house, her mom is telling her to tell my mom that she doesn’t have to do what she says because she’s not her mom… in MY MOMMA’S HOUSE! And when she gets kicked out of school in OUR city, my mom steps up and home schools her through 8th grade even though she was always on some “I hate you and want to go home!” and her mom is dodging us like the repo-man when there’s talk about sending her back. And in the end instead of being grateful that she didn’t have to repeat a grade she decided she “hated my black gorilla looking ass momma” [that was a quote from step-sis herself]

And what does the little miss do now that she’s a legal adult? Not a DAMN thing! she’s absolutely socially retarded, she doesn’t know how to take care of herself, she expects some man to take care of her and pay her bills, she lives at home with her mom and has no plans on changing this situation because it allows for maximum manipulation and corruption of my dad and a free ride from her worthless ass momma!

I know this is a long post, but I know that being in love with a man will allow for you to overlook lots of stuff, but it’s imperative that you mitigate this future bullshit NOW or look forward to lots of counseling/arguing in your future.

@stuffblackpeoplehate

thank you so much for this blog. I was missing smart ass, pointed, clever humor in my life and this definitely delivers. I love you! (just don’t tell my husband) 🙂

@Mr. Smith

I can’t lie, i’ve thought of the same thing. I think that all young girls in america should be implanted with a device that locks their reproductive system up and until they have a full psychological battery and are deemed ok they can’t get unlocked. Put a lock on that shit until we know she ain’t crazy!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

knatrualbeauty-And what about parents who insist on taking small children to R-rated movies, especially after dark.

I never understood that either.. What happened to getting a damn babysitter. But instead they take their kids to movies were they see violence and sex and then the parents want to know why they are in gangs or having babies by age eleven! Yes I said eleven I know ya’ll seen Maury!

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Word, Sarah. The government would undoubtebly use this unfairly and on some “end the Black race” shit. It would be like the Tusgeegee Experiment all over again. We just need to get agressive about encouraging our people to choose safe birthcontrol methods that are trusted, such as Ortho and what are those free things I see all over NYC? Oh yeah, condoms.

21 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Oh lord… If I ever heard any child anywhere say “hated my black gorilla looking ass momma”… This particular spawn of uselessness would be beaten unconscious. No in between. No time outs, reprimands, consideration of if I was in public or not. It would be a Tyson ’85 knock out.

21 04 2008
Lindsay

*dead* at “pro-choice justifications.”

Also, don’t forget that they always want to sit sideways, with their backs to the windows, feet hanging off the end, then, when someone needs to sit down, (not me, because I always stand) heave an exasperated sigh and move their legs a few inches in to let the person squeeze in…

21 04 2008
Lady

I know sometimes fathers are reluctant to tap their daughters ass cause people see girls as all flowery and delicate and they start with the water works and when they do it to little boys it’s like ‘i’m teaching him how to be a man or, he’s a boy he can take it’. Don’t let these little girls fool you.. you gotta be on their asses just as much if not more cause they’re slick..

I don’t like spanking my son, but i will if need be, and I dont care where we are. I don’t do that ‘wait til we get home mess’ cause then the message is not as effective. I’m beating you all after the fact. When you cut up it gets dealt with right there. My coworkers husband got the cops called on him in the grocery store one time. She asked her mom for a something, my co worker said ‘no, unless you’re paying for it’ and the daughter said ‘you’re such a pain in the ass’ and her husband heard it, walked up and kicked her in the behind. Someone saw it and she called the cops on them.

If they don’t have anything to fear/respect then they know there are no consequences.. where does discipline come in? I tried that time out mess and my son responded to that for a while, but then sometimes he gets extra so i gotta tap that ass. It worked for so long, generation after generation, why stop now??

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mr. Smith

“Oh lord… If I ever heard any child anywhere say “hated my black gorilla looking ass momma”… This particular spawn of uselessness would be beaten unconscious. No in between. No time outs, reprimands, consideration of if I was in public or not. It would be a Tyson ‘85 knock out.”

Son, the only thing that kept that child alive was that my twin brother and I had just graduated from high school and was on our way to higher education and a new life….

I didn’t need to catch a case!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Scarletjones- Thank you for understanding my situation. And that story is exactly what I fear for us. That why when we have her on the weekends I always remind him that he has to lay down the law with her because her mom is a big influence inher life right now since she spends most of her time with her. But yes the part about you step-sister living with you. Yea that subject came up with us as well. Her mom called him crying saying that she needs him to take her for a few months. Whne he told me this I thought something was wrong at their house and I was over her trying to make up a plan for her to go to school and all that stuff. But then when he got him he told me that she has done that before calle dup saying that she wouldnt stop crying and she wanted him to take her. I was so confused. I was like ummm so she calls lile that out the blue saying shit like that when nothing is really wrong. Then I finally understood when she never called back after that 1st phone call. So I told him well shit why don’t we just take her anyways you need to spend more time with her anyways. This is when I got pissed off. He started coming up all these excuses and stuff saying that he would have to get up early and yada yada and go through DC to take her to school(we live in Upper Marlboro) Rolleyes. So it got me think dude why are you backing away from your responsibilities!! She’s your daughter you blood. So I’m think ok WTF what’s gonna happend when we have kids are gonna act the same why or wait you gonna leave it up to me when it comes to our kids?!! Then he explained that it wasnt like that and blah blah blah…Sometimes I think he just doesn’t want to deal with her or her mom..which makes me think about our future together..

21 04 2008
Esquire

“and her mom is dodging us like the repo-man when there’s talk about sending her back.”

sad, but this is usually what happens. The child gets out of control and then the custodial parent loses thier mind and sends them with (in most cases) thier father. All the while being jealous because they are “playing mommy” Listen up. You arent PLAYING MOMMY you are MOMMY. teach your step children that they are lucky to have so many people who love them and that they can call you mommy Dee or whatever you decide. But like every parent/child relationship, expect the ups and downs.

@ MrsEpps: Im sure you know, you gain everything once you marry your fiance. And you cant stop her grandparents from doing things you dont agree with concerning her. (grandmas love) BUT CONTROL YOUR HOUSE. Or Chris will be posting about YOUR children.

Children do bad things. but TEACH them. There is a diff b/n bad childish things and PURE EVIL and DISRESPECT. If her mama is trifling, you hold on and love that little girl harder. Give her a good role model. All of this madness is the parents fault.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE:
If you love a child, they will grow up thinking they are worth something.
If you whup a child, they will know right from wrong.

lil chaps will stray, but they will come bak to thier core teachings. And I usually say something to them if they are being truly outrageous. not in a bad fussing way, because thats all some of them get. But in a “why you doin that? do you know you worth more than that?” Believe me, they may show out in front of thier friends, but that shit marinates on a childs soul. You may have changed a life not even knowin it. I think its our duty to try to balance the universe and teach the good and show some love to outweigh some of the evil and hate some of these kids grow up around.

21 04 2008
benjie

i hate to admit that i am one of those people who have the ipod blaring on the train/trolley in the morning. but this is done ONLY to combat the noise from the random children/teenagers/old drunk people/heroin addicts/general cretans that ride public transportation.

i have heard 3-5 yr olds swear
teenagers describe sexual acts (in explicit, graphic terms) seriously, who wants to hear a 15 yr old describe the had she got the night before at 7:30 in the morning?

and i dont know if it got national attention but for some reason there are groups of black teens beating up white people on the trains. pretty soon, they’re gonna have lynch mobs at every stop.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahha I need to strat proof reading my shit bwhahahah but ya’ll get what I’m saying hahah

21 04 2008
Dani

I don’t know if anyone else has actually seen Idiocracy which was supposed to be a comedy but I would rather classify it as a horror movie, it was so scary to me because this could really be our future. When these affronts are directed at you or in your vicinity you tend to get angry but it really is just sad, these children have no hope but not only that they rob my children (whenever/ifever I have any) of hope, the future is truely bleak.

And Seven get at me when you make those shirts I got a few people who would rock them proudly….

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Esquire@ I agree completely… Its hard because it’s like I’m the only one trying to teach her right from wrong. Like her dad does tell her when she is wrong but its not effective enough you know. And it’s hard on me because I feel liek the bad guy, like he’s making me out to be the bad guy because he allows her to walk over him. I told him if he continues to do that our realtionhsip won’t work especially since we have been talking about having kids of our own. I told him I need a partner that will be sensitive but firm with our children liek I will be. But what also plays in is how we were raised. We were raised completly diff. My mom grew up in a military family so things were stricted and firm so that how my Mom raised me. I’m not saying I will be exactly like my mom when it comes to children but I will still have someone my mothers way when on the other hand he was raised y his grandmother and it was more lax.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

This topic is making more and more and more angry as the day progresses.

@brran1
Yes I do remember that mess and though I want to defend those school children, I am MORE than certain they were the ones that were acting a god damn fool when the white people decided to stand up and tell them to pipe down. Unfortunately for the white people… they underestimated how many children they could take on at one time… so my pity for them descends almost exponentially. Regardless I would have been close to doing the same thing myself… wanting to (as Bernie Mac so eloquently put it) Fuck Yo Kid UP.

@ MR SMITH
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CHUCKED THAT GIRLS PHONE SOMEWHERE. HOW GREAT!

This actually reminds me of when I was in a movie theater with my girlfriend while we were living in San Diego. We had sat in the second row from the back… right in front of a group of white/hispanic girls who looked to have been no older than 14 or so. After the movie started, the children happily had a lunch time gossip session while the movie progressed, which sparked my GF to get pissed and decide to descend down a few rows, away from the noise. Of course seeing my girlfriend get angry basically gave me a double dose of furious… and I bid them farewell with the wonderful phrase “you young ladies really need to shut up!” Most of the theater heard me say so and some thanked me with a bit of an applause as my GF and I made our way downward. Unfortunately, the escapade wasn’t over. The ring leader of the pack of little banshees decided to grow a pair of non-existent balls and come down to the row that we had set down in.

She then said to me… “You do not tell me to shut up! You do not tell us to shut up. We are just kids and we are here to have a great time. SO YOU shut up!”

I think it took every muscle within me to restrain my desire to grab that little asshole by the neck, pull off my belt and wail on her until the white meat. Instead, I decided that I was going to get really smart and be that tattle tail asshole that these kids hate so much today. When the movie let out… I was more than happy to rush out ahead of everyone else and find the first manager I saw. Ironically enough, there was one other black couple in the theater who knew exactly what I was about to do… and when they saw me talking to the short ASian manager, I heard the woman proclaim, “You get em boy. That mess in there didn’t make no sense!”

I calmly asked the dude who looked to be no older than 25, “What is your policy on minors viewing rated R movies?”
Manager- “What do you mean?”
Me (getting angrier)- “Let me repeat it…” Meanwhile children are filing out of the theater- “What is your policy on minors viewing a rated R film without proper guidance?!?!?! Because I don’t appreciate little brats talking over the movie I paid 20 bucks for who then turn around and back talk me when I tell them to be quiet!”
The Manager (looking most terrified)- “Oh…. uh… they aren’t supposed to be in the movie theater” as he watches these children file out behind me.
Me- “You know you people can be fined for allowing minors under the age of 18 to come into rated R films. I should call the RIAA (yes I know thats the wrong organization… but fuck it I was on a roll) on you people”

Long story short… he gave me a pair of free movie tickets. But thats not the point. These kids these days… regardless of where they are… are truly doomed. Which raises the question… where is our country going to be within the next 50 years?

21 04 2008
Lady

They should start issuing citations.. when i used to take the train to school in The Bronx there were monitors/train officers that would make sure everything was copestetic on the way to and from.. they don’t do that any more?

I mean, i think if you could issue citations for disorderly conduct it may slow it down/stop it because most of the time parents have no idea that their kids are acting like that. Little angels to their faces BeBe’s kids when they’re out and about.

Since it takes a village.. but no one in the village really cares any more, word doesnt get back to the parents as it should. If you come home with a citation i bet ish would change

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps

It’s unfortunate that he has that attitude. As i’ve gotten older and really talked to my dad and marinated on what I saw fall out in their relationship, I believe that alot of the passive attitude my dad has is a direct result of his feelings of guilt and failure for his first marriage not working out and his daughter not being better. I think that he wishes that she would be able to rise above all the bullshit her mom raised her in, and that he’d taken advantage of all of the missed opportunities to be an affective disciplinarian and set boundaries for her. Even when my parents started dating, my dad relied alot on my mom to just envelope my step-sis into our daily routine like it always was. being a surrogate mom, but he wanted my mom to do it so he wouldn’t feel any more guilty for how unhappy his child was and his inactive role in that unhappiness. Everybody has their personal issues that they have to deal with, but once you put on the parent hat you have to crawl over all of your bullshit and get it together for your kids. I hope that whatever is keeping your fiance from stepping into that role, he gets over.

21 04 2008
maya

There are tears in my eyes right now.

Speaking of terrible fucking names, someone told me she knows a little girl named “obesity,” spelled “ABCD.”

Jesus wept. Twice.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Everyone knows of an “Abcd”. I heard of one pronounced “Ah-bah-see-dee”. I am hoping this shit is an urban legend.

21 04 2008
Esquire

Speaking of terrible fucking names, someone told me she knows a little girl named “obesity,” spelled “ABCD.”

OH MY GOD! I have never heard of that! lol ..cant breathe

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

that he’d taken advantage of all of the missed opportunities to be an affective disciplinarian and set boundaries for her.

ScarletJones gosh darn it thank you for saying that! Because this is what I say to him that he will be saying in the next 10 yrs. SMH and I hope he changes that shit too because I’ll tell you this if he doesnt buck up about it he may not have a wife and may have to find a woman who is passive and could careless what his daughter does to him.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

That reminds me…. more irresponsibility…

In this story… I am going to blame the parent 100% for the outcome. I was at my house finishing up some improvements when my dad called and told me to run to DC with him. I obliged and upon walking out the front door I noted across the street that a toddler, who looked to be no older than 2 or 3, was playing on the concrete porch of the house across the street and to the right a bit. (BTW… I live in a townhouse community). Now, mind you, the houses across the street from mine are elevated such that the front door is one story up, so one must ascend a flight of concrete steps before they can attempt entry into the home. The only thing preventing a fall for an adult was a system of rought (spelling) Iron railings on either side of the stairs and the landing/porch. The child btw… was playing with the iron bars, possibly mocking jail. (who knows who cares)

I thought nothing of the toddler playing up on the porch, other than it seemed kind of dangerous since his mother wasn’t around.

WELP… I turned around to lock my door when suddenly I heard a muffled THUMP followed by excessive crying. Sure enough, the child had managed to slide himself through the railing and fall off the side of the porch. Luckily, he landed in the flower bed and NOT ON THE BRICK BORDER. I turned and froze, while my next door neighbor began sprinting over toward the child while the mother came rushing out of the house gasping “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!”

Here is my problem… why the hell didn’t she pay attention to the fact that her child was
a) outside on the porch
b) not in the house where she was

I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic… and I do feel bad that the child fell. But my point is… this is an example of a parent who just doesn’t pay enough attention. All too often this same mother has her friends over and while her children run a muck (not the same mother as directly across the street) and doesn’t pay a lick of attention to what her kids are doing. These people need to give up most if not all of their childhood personal lives and live up to being a mother fucking parent!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

ABCD!! What in BLOODY hell!! Your kidding right? Naming your child ABCD should be a felony.

21 04 2008
Sue

Anybody else see this as a direct result of all those teen pregnancies that occured when we were kids? Check it, most of those parents are OUR age……… Thirtysomethings!

@ brran1 – I remember the Baltimore bus incident and now we’ve got the now much publicized teacher beating. There doesn’t seem to be any intelligence with this generation either when you’re posting your assaults on YouTube!

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

LMFAO @ MAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21 04 2008
scarletjones

People should be put in jail for some of the names they are giving these kids these days.

Some of the most shameful mess of names i’ve ever seen was on the for the hospital my son was born in. some of that

21 04 2008
Esquire

Mrs Epps:

One thing I did, before I got comfortable whuppin ass, was to make my stepson stick his nose on the wall for like 30 minutes. He whimpers everytime I point to the wall now. He would rather get a whuppin.

They should do that to terrorists…its really hard to do. Just try to stand there with your hands by your side with your nose touching the wall. She will tighten up.

Your fiance just sound torn. It is hard to be dogged out by mama and then be firm. It sounds like he wants her to have fun all the time with him. But that will be destructive later on.

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

TRUE THAT SUE!!!! HOW STUPID IS IT TO INCRIMINATE YOURSELF BY POSTING A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????

STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!

Its George Bush’s fault.

21 04 2008
Esquire

Everything is George Bush’s fault.

We should make him ride public transportation

21 04 2008
Peggy

Can’t say that I disagree with you. But you do know that this post means that you are officially “old”.

21 04 2008
Esquire

BTW…Chris should be given an award for the pics he puts on here. What ghetto modeling site did you get that off of?

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

No seriously… I can’t help but wonder if everyone and everything just got exponentially, asymptotically STUPIDER once he got into office. I mean come on!?!?! How many people can pronounce NuCLEAR properly?

Nucular? WTF!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

AF- damn parents like that should have the privlage of having kids. I have witness the same as you and I can’t stand parents who basiaclly neglect their babies. Like what is going through their minds when they leave their kids on dangerous porches like that! The common person knows that babies like to wander and climb up and down things and arent as good on their feet as an adult is. What if someone came up and kidnapped him off the porch? What if he feel and broke is neck and died? Like WTF

21 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@Esquire: “What ghetto modeling site did you get that off of?”

You’re about to be sorry you asked.

http://www.misssweetpotatopie.com/about.htm

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Mrs. Epps…

Seriously… if that child had fallen 8-12 inches to the left… the situation wouldn’t have blown over as smoothly as it did.

OH and one thing I failed to mention. When the mother went and picked up the child… SHE DIDNT DO IT GENTLY… SHE DIDN’T CHECK TO SEE IF HE HAD ANY BROKEN BONES…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DID SHE DO???

GRABBED ONE ARM AND WRENCHED HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AS IF HE HAD JUST LOST HIS BALANCE. OH MAN THAT MAKES ME SO MAD! SHES A SINGLE PARENT TOO. IF I WAS THE FATHER AND I HAD THE WITNESSES TO THAT MESS, I WOULD IMMEDIATELY FILE TO GAIN PRIMARY CUSTODY OF THE CHILD! UNFIT MOTHER!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Esquire-Your fiance just sound torn. It is hard to be dogged out by mama and then be firm. It sounds like he wants her to have fun all the time with him. But that will be destructive later on.

Indeed…

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps

isn’t the saying “hindsight is 20/20”. I think it makes it harder for my stepdad to look at my brother an me and see how productive we’ve become as adults, and know that my mom had it right and we didn’t take any of the punishments or ass whoopins personally and love her for the direction she gave to our lives.

@Esquire

They really should just give the terrorists to a group of ol’ school black mommas and let them run wild on they tails. Nobody knows how to instill bone chilling fear in a person like that group! 🙂

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

AF-SHE DIDNT DO IT GENTLY… SHE DIDN’T CHECK TO SEE IF HE HAD ANY BROKEN BONES…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DID SHE DO???

GRABBED ONE ARM AND WRENCHED HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AS IF HE HAD JUST LOST HIS BALANCE. OH MAN THAT MAKES ME SO MAD! SHES A SINGLE PARENT TOO. IF I WAS THE FATHER AND I HAD THE WITNESSES TO THAT MESS, I WOULD IMMEDIATELY FILE TO GAIN PRIMARY CUSTODY OF THE CHILD! UNFIT MOTHER

I bet a mill this chick is black…mother’s like that give us bad names. WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD U PICK HIM UP LIKE THAT!! are you freakiiinnn serious..sighs.. I would do the same if I was the father shoot. and then file for child supoort on her ass bwhahaha

21 04 2008
Lone Dreamer

My mothers one advice to me that she repeats every couple of months?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do’t get married to a guy who already has a kid (or kids). You will always be the evil stepmother.

And I fully intend to take that advice.

21 04 2008
benjie

“The child btw… was playing with the iron bars, possibly mocking jail. (who knows who cares)”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@stuffblackpeoplelike

Oh hell, not the SOUL FOOD BABIES!

i’m through!

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ MRs Epps…

YES she was black… and the lady who rushed to provide assistance was white. She cares more about her hairdo than her children.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

The site scarlet linked + the one Chris just posted= My time of death: 12:58PM

Ta’Laja Da’Mya= I will be pregnant at 7
Tre’Von Jaedon LeCraig= Start saving up for my bail
Lucille Annie Florence= My mother is 102 years old
Quintavious Deontes= I will never be able to spell my own name
Symeria Ny’chell Chernetta= My mother is an evil bitch
Tyreon Semaj= THIS MOTHERFUCKER spelled JAMES BACKWARDS!! DIE DIE DIE DIE EVIL WOMAN!!!

21 04 2008
Admiral Furious

CHRIS… OMFG THAT SITE lsfdngesilfguskj.rnbgseipl;ugsjake.resnfdl;g

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Disclaimer= I belive the children are the future. Even little Semaj and Ta’Laja can go to Howard or Spellman and be great!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

scarletjones-isn’t the saying “hindsight is 20/20″. I think it makes it harder for my stepdad to look at my brother an me and see how productive we’ve become as adults, and know that my mom had it right and we didn’t take any of the punishments or ass whoopins personally and love her for the direction she gave to our lives.

I must agree because I feel the same way about my mother and step-dad if they didnt do what they did then I wouldnt be as successful as I am today. If I lived with my “biological” father who I havent seen since I was 10 or 11 I would probably end up in a bad relationship with some dude pregnant with no way out. I think that some of these girls out here do this wild shit like getting in to the heavy drugs and pregnant young has to do with an absent father. Little girls need their daddies so when they grow up they will make better choices when it comes to men and sex and stuff like that.

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Sister Toldja

Save a spot near your plot… a sista needs a resting place as well!

Quintavious Deontes is one of my favorites… where the hell did they even come up with this?

and @ “Tyreon Semaj= THIS MOTHERFUCKER spelled JAMES BACKWARDS!! DIE DIE DIE DIE EVIL WOMAN!!!”

– someone should waterboard that chic and then execute her on CNN or Fox News

21 04 2008
dteezy


@Esquire: “What ghetto modeling site did you get that off of?”

You’re about to be sorry you asked.

http://www.misssweetpotatopie.com/about.htm

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO DAYUM CHRIS

what the!??!?!?!

21 04 2008
Lone Dreamer

Parenting your kids includes knowing what kind of friends they have, getting them into a good school, making sure to live in a GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD, and beating the fcuking smirk out of them when they act up. Most parents think that teachers have to teach their kid manners and good behaviour — NO!!!! It’s still your damn job, gosh I really hate irreponsible parents.

My mother beat me with a shoe, a spoon, radio cord, etc. anything that way available. She could’ve sweeped the gold at the Olympics if she entered — her throwing was excellent. I never missed a flying shoe — EVER. I never took any of that personally and love her to death because EACH OF THE TIMES I WAS BEAT I FUCKING DESERVED IT.

And you bet I’ll be kick my kid’s butt if the need arises. Fcuk child services. They’re not raising my kids.

21 04 2008
sarah

i knew a little boy named Semaj and, as far as fucked up, ghetto names go, i’ll give this one a pass. its creative without being “what the fuck!” over the top. besides, i once met a little boy named Latte… no hope for that little man.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahhahahahhahaha@ that site..Soul Food Babies of Hip Hop WTFFFFF

Sister Toldja-Tyreon Semaj= THIS MOTHERFUCKER spelled JAMES BACKWARDS!! DIE DIE DIE DIE EVIL WOMAN!!!

Pees pants and cries then chokes on spit and dies….hahahahahhaa

21 04 2008
shabooty

to deal with kids, I would suggest an appointment with this superhero:

http://www.shabooty.com/2008/04/16/namnoitroba-backwards-is-abortionman-video.php

$

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps

I definitely agree about young women and all the mess they get into being linked to their environment. A girl can’t learn how to be a woman from a mother who’s a girl masquerading as a lady and a girl can’t learn how to be treated like a woman from a man that’s not willing to provide a good example. My real father was absent from birth (you know a man is triflin when you gotta divorce him while you’re pregnant with his kids) and my mom had to make sure that any men she had around provided the kind of examples that were positive to me any my brother. I say to all men that I know, that If you have the opportunity as a father to be an example to your daughter please do it! You don’t want the other man telling your daughter who she is and what she’s worth.

21 04 2008
shabooty

my site is being a slow-cunt wad so disregard the above link and go here instead direct to the u-tube:

21 04 2008
Redline
21 04 2008
brran1

@ Chris: You know you wrong for postin that shit. lmao….smh. Does she do bachelor parties?

@ AF & Sue: It doesn’t help that about a weekafter that incident, another teacher got their ass beat over at Mervo. Lil niggas think they the shit cuz their nuts just dropped. Fuck Outta Here.

Back when I was in HS, I rode the bus out to the county and back every day. One day when Iw as on my way back home from school, these two females got on and proceeded to head to head to the back of the bus. I got on and sat two rows in front of them. As the bus pulled off there was a 25 minute conversation about their periods. It wasn’t a quiet convo, these broads were trying to be louder than the engine on the bus. It wasn’t your avg convo about maxi pads and tampons. NO. it went more along the lines of this: “yea girl, I couldn’t fuck tyrell cuz I just came on. But yea he was tryna get it n shit so i gave it to him. I just made him do it real slow.” I turned my iPod off and gave those broads the screwface. Even the bus driver looked back in his rearview mirror and shook his head.

21 04 2008
my2blackbabiesrbeautiful

I just sh*t my pants because James can be spelled backward. I am truly tired of being alive.

Why come these 6th and 7th grade parents can make up new words, pronounce them phonetically, add all sorts of schwas and accents, call these words “names”, but cannot pass a single English proficiency exam?

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

scarletjones-my mom had to make sure that any men she had around provided the kind of examples that were positive to me any my brother. I say to all men that I know, that If you have the opportunity as a father to be an example to your daughter please do it! You don’t want the other man telling your daughter who she is and what she’s worth.

EXACTLY my mother did that same. My mother divorced my father when I was 2yrs old and he was in and out of my life until I was 11 around the time my parents got married. My dad(step-dad) is the best dad in the world and I wouldnt choose my real father over him anyday. He has taught me so many things that i would need when I became an adult and I couldnt re-pay my parents enough for that. Its funny when I was growing up i thought my parents only did the things they did to annoy the shit out of me but now that I am an adult engaged, bought a new house and about to graduate I see why they said and did the things they did and I could never re-pay them for that. So I tell my fiance that he needs to really get on the ball or he won’t even have a daughter anymore. it will get to the point of no respect of you what so ever because i ahve experience with that with my real father. I couldnt give 2 scoops of poop about my dad. In fact I dont even know if he is still living or my grandparents on that side are alive. Which isnt my fault because they had plenty of chances to be in my life. I just recently found my older cousin on that side of the family too on myspace after 11 yrs of not seeing him.

21 04 2008
FJ

Thank you for publicly denouncing Tyler Perry movies! Black people, we really need to sit down and have a conversation and admit how harmful and -more importantly- HORRIBLE all of those damn movies are.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

ewww@ brran 1’s story.
No home-training!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

thats fuckin nasty@ brran1 ahah

21 04 2008
scarletjones

@Mrs. Epps

I think that as long as you make sure that it stays an issue that he will eventually get the message. As long as you have the vision and are willing to do all you need to convert him i think it will happen for him. Also she’s young now and you don’t have other kids to bring to the mix to make it complicated.

@brran 1

You would think that young girls would know that noone wants to know how triflin, unsanitary, and skanky they are all up on the public transpo. I don’t put anything past these little fast butt girls these days. No shame, no class.

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

When I was in summer day camp (7th grade or so) some friends and I got into the back half of the articulated “accordion” bus. One guy, TJ, being loud, acting ignorant and cussing every way but loose. All of a sudden we hear, “TREEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNTTTTTTT!!! Get yo’ black ass over here right NOWWWW!!” Turns out his aunt was in the front half of the bus. He had to sit next to her, and got a standing ovation. For the rest of day camp, it was like, “TREEEEEEEEEEENNNTTT! Get yo’ black ass over here so we can finish this project.”

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Right@ scraletjones thanks for the advice and I will def continue to press the issues because it really needs to be resolved especially before we have children. Because I wouldn’t want my children looking at their 1/2 sister saying she can get away with anything.

21 04 2008
maya

I’ve never seen a Tyler Perry movie…I just can’t get with their premise…

Nothing infuriates me more than seeing a little girl with fucking 80 billion barrettes in her hair – you can hear this little bitch before you see her. AND I especially loathe when it becomes obvious that Mommy Dearest ran out of whatever the color scheme is because the back of the little girl’s hair has hot pink barrettes when the rest of her head is on a red and white theme. Like John Witherspoon says – “you gotsta coooooordinate.”

Moreover, I hate dirty children, although I’ve seen that more amongst the whites. I was in line for a water ice yesterday, and this diseased looking white child started sneezing and snotting all over the place. She, then, proceeded to wipe her sneeze-infested hand on her snotty nose. And then she looked up at me and smiled. I scowled at her.

21 04 2008
Cola

LMAO @ They will watch Tyler Perry movies and actually enjoy them. OMG!

@Esquire- Thanks for the tip! I do plan on doing the nose to the wall punishment the next time my daughter acts up. Good one!

21 04 2008
Cola

Maya I am feeling you on the dirty kids! Especially when they are not covering their phucking mouth!! OMG!

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

ahahahahaha@maya…the whites
They don’t have on sock either, no hat in the cold. About the barrettes/beads. I was that annoying kid who shook her head in class just to hear the beads clap against each other. I was cute though! I don’t mind barrettes, I just don’t understand little girls carrying purses. You’re five, why do you need a purse?
And though I’ve never seen a Tyler Perry movie [don’t want to] I am upset that Angela Basset (sp?) has resorted to starring in one. Why?

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Maya-Nothing infuriates me more than seeing a little girl with fucking 80 billion barrettes in her hair – you can hear this little bitch before you see her. AND I especially loathe when it becomes obvious that Mommy Dearest ran out of whatever the color scheme is because the back of the little girl’s hair has hot pink barrettes when the rest of her head is on a red and white theme. Like John Witherspoon says – “you gotsta coooooordinate.”

DEAD!!!!!!! hahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

21 04 2008
Merri Lee


judd (14:13:11) :

as a car was passing me on my ride home from work the other day, a kid leaned out the window–to this waist!–to push me on my bike. i was able to regain my balance and not lose any teeth, but what the fuck?! he just leaned back in and high-fived his boys in the front seat.

Glad you’re OK, I can’t believe kids do that ignorant mess

21 04 2008
Lady

When it comes to dirty kids yt take the gold hands down. There are a lot of Jewish people around my way and they are just the worst. Smelling like a burger king onion ring left in the sun.. dandruff making slaloms on their shoulders.. picking at their private parts in the middle of the store.. picking their noses and wiping it on their pants.. they NEVER wipe their kids noses.. they be snotty as ever..

NO LIE we were in Target the other day, i was going back and forth trying to decide if i wanted to buy a Wii and I’m walking up and down the aisle when i notice this boy who had to be 13-15, with his hands straight down his pants. He was looking @ the games, standing there in a trance with his belt loosened and just moving his hands up, down, and all around in his pants. I got my ish and left. Now i’m used to seeing guys try to do some kind of quick adjustment in public, a little tug here, a little jiggle there.. but that was ridamndiculous.. NARSTY..

21 04 2008
sarah

OMG, stop whining about Tyler Perry movies. there are worse depictions of Blacks in movies. you want to start a revolution? try getting Flava Flav the hell off of the television.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

I use to be one of those litte girls as well. I was cute too! and yea who invinted the little girl purse and high heels. Have you ever seen that shit the little girl shoes now have heels WTF like society really wants these kids to grow up fast before they even have one boob or a hair on their nut damnNNN… dude what cracks me up is my ppl the latino ppl. There is always the little latina girl in the white or pink easter dress year round in the laundry mat wearing ruff girly dress socks and soccer shoes on WTFFFFF bwbahahah

21 04 2008
scarletjones

laughing my ass off about the laundry mat!

something this black person hates is laundrymats, while we’re talkin. You can find the worst, dirtiest, rudest, rowdiest kids in a place meant to clean things. And I always feel like i need a shower and to re-clean my clothes after leaving them joints.

i love my washer and dryer in my apartment!

21 04 2008
Stephanie

“you want to start a revolution? try getting Flava Flav the hell off of the television.”

Don’t get me started on Flava Flav. I feel like that should be the subject of another blog post.

21 04 2008
Cola

Flava is the ugliest man on earth. I can’t believe them chicks are that desperate. Just thinking about him even touching me is making my skin crawl!

Ewww!

21 04 2008
Sylvia/M


OMG, stop whining about Tyler Perry movies. there are worse depictions of Blacks in movies. you want to start a revolution? try getting Flava Flav the hell off of the television.

I’m sad they’re trying to put Flav’s ass on regular television. Lord, have mercy!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ scraletjones hell yea them dirty ass bad little kids. IM so happy that we moved to our new house we have our own washer and dryer thank god. But lasttime i was at one girllllll there was this adorable little girl that was stuck out side with her hand caught in the door, she wasn’t crying or anything but she was about a yr old with her fuckin handddddddd closed in the damn door! WHERE IN THE HELL WERE HER PARENTS. so I ran over and opened the door and she walked in as if she were unharmed…SMH

21 04 2008
benjie

lmao @ maya

dirty kids are the WORST!
have you ever noticed that the ass of their pants are always like 16 shades darker than there supposed to be?
its like they just rub their asses on the ground for no reason.

21 04 2008
Merb

Ditto, on the dirty kid issue. I also can’t stand smelly kids.

21 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

@benjie: “its like they just rub their asses on the ground for no reason.”

21 04 2008
zoso

Hey, I think Tyler Perry movies are great! Epic? Hell no, but funny yeah. I’ve been debating since I was a kid on whether or not I would have children simply based on how rude and disrespectful my peers were when I was growing up. My mother’s been a teacher for 25 years and while growing up we did the “take your daughter to work day”, plus as I got older I’d simply volunteer. Take December for instance, I participated in “talk about your career day”, but since I’ve no career yet I just spoke to kids about how to choose a college/vocational/tech school, etc. and the responsibilities of life immediately after grade school. Don’t you know the WORST kids are the so-called ‘gifted kids’!? White, Black, Hispanic, what have you, these turdmonkeys believe they’re God’s gift to the world simply because they scored high on some “intelligence aptitude” test. I think they act worse because parents and teachers tell them they can do no wrong given their ‘higher grade skills’. Don’t get me wrong, my mom’s taught at tougher schools too (stereotypical inner city) but at least she could draw them in line with a stern talking to and an occasional call for a miscreant to either a) sit outside the classroom in the sun (if in a portable) until they cool off (more likely the southern heat got to them), or b) after she would get to know the child’s parent, really tear it in to them. Either way, they could easily be dealt with. Some of those gifted kids get a free pass; good schools, scholarships, and pat-on the backs regardless of their personal character. Kids these days are even worse than when I was growing up, which I thought couldn’t happen but yeah, MTV and BET are partially to blame and it really does seem as though folks generally became dumber with the inauguration of Dubbyah. Also, just from knowing the school system my mom teaches in:
The school board is scared of the parents, not the principals, as the parents now have the ‘RIGHT’ to sue school boards on a whim, the principals are NOT scared of the teachers, because principles pick and choose the teachers they wish, the teachers are scared of the parents, the principles, the schoolboard, some even of the students, the police-on the rare chance a student claims a teacher committed some crime, and the government, since it can withhold portions or ALL of teachers’ salaries for weeks whenever there’s a ‘computer glitch’ or ‘accountant error’, while finally the parents are scared of the kids, actually parenting and *gasp* participating in the education of their own children, while, as I think Equire so elegantly put it the “god damned kids aint scared of NOBODY.”

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

awhahahhahahahahaha@ Chirs that shit is fucked up my old cat Socks would rub her ass on the carpet right after she took a shit in the litter box my mom punted her ass across the room. She would def get charged with animal abuse now a days hahha

21 04 2008
maya

My niece and I are 8 years apart (I’m 23) and it’s amazing how different even 8 years make. She’s ENTIRELY TOO DAMN GROWN and it gets on my nerves because she acts as though SOMEONE told her that shit was cute. These kids are all about being “flyy”…and in the tackiest shit ever, too. Meanwhile, her sister is 4 years old talkin bout, “get out my face…yah trick” a la Soulja Boy Tellem and it just really fucks with my equilibrium.

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

Sister Toldja (16:38:45) :

Everyone knows of an “Abcd”. I heard of one pronounced “Ah-bah-see-dee”. I am hoping this shit is an urban legend.

Sadly, no. It’s the truth. The one I know is “ab-suh-dee”

Why?

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

Side not from ABCD – has anyone read Freakonomics? (I know, at least half of you) Anyway, what got me was a kid named Amcher. It doesn’t sound like a bad name, just a little odd. That is, until you find out AMCHER is the abbreviation for the Albany Medical Center Hospital Emergency Room.

21 04 2008
sarah

@ Sylvia – they aren’t trying. that shit is real. Under One Roof has already started!

@ zoso – i was one of those kids. i basically floated through school half trying to do anything. it used to make my friends so mad cause i would fall alseep/joke around in class and still manage to ace my tests. its something i’ve broken out of, cause its not cute.

21 04 2008
maya

Re: the girl purse thing…

I think that’s just “social training.” I know when i was little, I had a purse (that I hated…because all that was in it was cherry chapstick and tissues) and my mom insisted I wear it. She was also from the old school cause when I got dressed up she was surely trying to put gloves on me. (Gloves, though?) I don’t mind it, my youngest niece LOVES purses…I clearly didn’t start carrying them until I was in 11th or 12 grade. However, with many of these nappy headed cretins lookin’ like lil boys these days and thinking that shit is cute, I want to start a purse-carrying campaign.

Do little girls even get excited about getting to wear their hair “out” anymore? I guess not since they’re already permed up by the time they’re 7 thanks to their asshole mothers. Thankfully, I saw evidence that little girls still play rope and hand games…so perhaps all hope is not lost.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Dead@ Medical Center Hospital Emergency Room…SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH SMH black people what are on your minds when you name your kids. Im going to keep it simple Marley Marie(yes like bob marely) and Sean Michael(no not like the wrestler) hahaha

21 04 2008
Cola

I am so pissed at AMCHER’s parents! Give me a damn break! People kill me with that mess!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Maya-Do little girls even get excited about getting to wear their hair “out” anymore? I guess not since they’re already permed up by the time they’re 7 thanks to their asshole mothers. Thankfully, I saw evidence that little girls still play rope and hand games…so perhaps all hope is not lost.

I know right! Shit these days little girls already have weaves by the time their 4. I remember when I loved it when my mom let me wear my hair out.

I wanted to scream when I saw a picture of my step-daughter with extention-braid in her head when she was 3yrs old! WTF like her hair is still soft and delicate. By the time she turns 8 she won’t have any hair if her mom keeps doing that crap. My step-daughter was like ” I like it when you do my hair my mommy hurts my head when she combs it” Poor girl. Like when did we go from the 2 braids in the front and one in the back to Pony weaves? SMH

21 04 2008
Lady

Because i believe your name will get you a long way (could you imagine working for someone named Taekwon *my friend really named her son that) I tried to tell her that’s not good but she thought it was the new hot ish.. that boy is now about 7 or 8 and bad as hell from what i understand. Oh, even worse, the mom (my former friend) isn’t even old enough to drink (legally) yet.

Anyway, you will never see Shaqwanda Jackson on the door of an office. Be real. I gave my kids simple names. No apostrophes. 6 letter each so it’s easy to spell/memorize and they’re racially ambiguous.. HOPING their résumé’s/college applications don’t get over looked because of their names (which no one can tell me doesnt happen, cause I know for a fact it does).

People can’t put their children at a disadvantage right out the gate like that..

21 04 2008
Cola

Well.. last Summer I put my daughter age 8 in the Boys and Girls Club for the Summer. We live in a suburb of Atlanta and the Boys and Girls Club is near my job. Anyways she came home and told me about this girl she met. How the girl had her hair braided with weave. I am like how do you know its weave?! (what a convo with my daughter) Her response because the hair is blonde!

Um, why the hell does a little girl have colored braids?!

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

The “dirty kids” thing killed me. I had a virology professor (black woman with a PhD – holla!) who was pregnant. She carried Lysol like it was mace. If you sneezed or coughed in her presence you caught a face full of Linen Fresh. If you were a little sick and wanted to visit during office hours, you had to talk to her through her door, which was open about two inches. If you were hella sneezy, she’d send you to the front desk and make you call her from there.

21 04 2008
Anonymiss

I hate badass bastards. And they say abortion shouldn’t be legal…

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Lady – so your ex-friend was about 12-13 when she had little Taekwon? if he’s now 8 and she isn’t legal? Unless they changed the drinking age again – WOW.
The dirty kid issue is disturbing/disgusting; I used to think it was subject to social background until I saw ALL kinds of parents not wiping crust off of their child’s face. How hard is it to put some spit on your thumb and scrub the crust off?

21 04 2008
Esquire

@ Lonedreamer
My mothers one advice to me that she repeats every couple of months?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do’t get married to a guy who already has a kid (or kids). You will always be the evil stepmother.

And I fully intend to take that advice.

Good luck: Its 2008.

That being said, I will go back to my argument: THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD MEN OUT THERE, child or not, crazy baby mama or not. Don’t let that stop you from getting to know someone.

My stepson’s mama is certified looney, but she is NOT disrespectful, at least not in my face and thats all that matters. She communicates properly with me, (I wish she would do so with my husband) and we are cool. She just happens to be bonkers. She has papers that say she is bonkers. She cant help that chemical imbalance and neither can my husband. If you fall in love with a man with a child and a baby mama, not 4 kids and 4 baby mamas, he should not be “punished” and never able to find true love. We all make mistakes. We would have so many single homes for sure if those people never married or remarried.

The key is make sure your man keeps HER and THE CHILD in check. If he is slack on the child, he will be slack on yours too. Sometimes men with children are good indicators of how they will be with yours.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

I agree knaturalbeauty..it aint hard at all. my step-daughter’s mom always got her with crust on her face and chapped lips im like what the hell. So I asked her if her mom washed her face this morning she would say no that she washes her self up in the morning. Im like ummm wtf ok its fine if you want to give her independence but atleast double check what she did on her own. It never fails. Everytime we pick her up I automaticlly put chapstick on her lips and wipe her nose.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Now one thing I won’t do is give up my right to give my children ‘ethnically obvious’ names because some devils don’t want Black people around them. Eff them and their devil schools, LOL! Go to Howard.

I may give my kids African or Arabic names, as my parents chose for me and my sisters. I am also considering Nina as a girls name (nod to the late great Ms. Simone). I would like to name one of my sons Miles David (pronounced “dah-veed” and spelled with an accent mark. That’s my dad’sname.).

I also want to have a Thelonious Malik Lemieux-Husband’s name. He can be Theo for short. Thelonious Monk, aside from being THELONIOUS FREAKING MONK THE GENIUS OF MODERN MUSIC, is a relative by marriage. I hope I find a cooperative man to marry me, lol. Cause I have my heart set on this.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

“The key is make sure your man keeps HER and THE CHILD in check. If he is slack on the child, he will be slack on yours too. Sometimes men with children are good indicators of how they will be with yours”.

Noted and agree@Esquire thats why he needs to buck up and crack the damn whip in this joint before he looses a good thing we have. Becasue I want children not just one but three but he needs to start with his 1st born.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Sister@ There’s nothing wrong with “ethinically obvious” creative naming. When I see the name Siobhan, I assume she’s Irish, but jacked up Black names with unnecessary apostrophes, umlauts, and exclaimation points is crazy, though funny.
I have to say, this post is inspiring me to confront those little accidents on the metro, if I encounter them. Hopefully other grown-ups will have my back.

21 04 2008
Grimm

After all thats been said I must say that children are taught this behavior by their parents. How can you not expect them to curse, cuss or swear if you do? How can you expect them to not know about sex if you talk about it in places where they can easily overhear? How can they not be excited about drinking and pAArtying if thats what they learn “socializing” is from YOU?

Im not that old yet and I don’t think that kids are that differant than they were two years ago when I was in high school. I remember learning about sex in kindergarden from my friend Sequoia who often overheard her mom with her BF.

Respect and fear are two entirely different things. Instilling fear into your children will lead to one of two things: they will listen to you until they can learn to be bad behind your back and then show out/go off to school or BFs house and be the the drunken and easy. Or, they will disregard what you say and still show out. Beatings hurt, but they are only temperary. Prime example is the typical fam with one or two good kids and the OMEN child.
Respect doesn’t come from fear. It comes from true admiration. What good is it to have a child so afraid of you they cannot come to you about sex and whatnot? Im not saying be best friends, but lead by example and encourage an open dialougue with kids.

Dirty kids are hilarious. Esp the ones with a dusty trail of dried snot above their lip and no shoes…

21 04 2008
Esquire

Confront at your own risk on a train you cant stop.

Give them a videotape of MISS SWEET POTATO PIE.

21 04 2008
maya

“I hope I find a cooperative man to marry me.”

I just died.

21 04 2008
Esquire

@Grimm: I agree. But I will say, they need to have a little bit of fear like…if I steal this my mama will let me sit in jail. If I cut up in school, my mama will come down here and whup me old school like in front of everyone.

Not scared like: I got a C, my mom is going to murder me. or Im 15 minutes late my dad is going to beat me with a steel toe boot.

21 04 2008
Cola

Listen when folks start naming their kids after liquor that’s not being creative. I also hate when women give their kid their old stripper name. Diamond, Unique, Alize, etc.. What’s next Mojito? Stop the madness!

21 04 2008
maya

“Not scared like: I got a C, my mom is going to murder me.”

Hmm…that was clearly my mom’s tactic. But I’m a Penn Grad Student so I guess it paid off (?) That’s what I’ll tell my therapist…lol. JK. Black people don’t believe in therapy! But looking at these raggedy children running around, maybe a lil family guidance wouldn’t hurt…

21 04 2008
Lone Dreamer

Esquire:

I meant I don’t want to be involved with a man who is not taking responsiblity for his own flesh and blood…what good is he to me? Why doesn’t he spend that time with his attention deprieved/hurting child instead of courting some chick?

If you have little kids —- take responsiblity and parent them. Don’t waste that precious time looking for another honey. You can wait until the kid is older.

Esp. for a first marriage….I really don’t find men with children attractive. It just reeks of too much baggage and at this age and point in my life ( with my experience) I don’t have time or patience to handle it.

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knat- I don’t necessarily ride with the creative names though, LOL. We have a wealth of names already to chose from! My dad didn’t want me to have an Arabic name, cause we aren’t Muslim and he didn’t see the significance. But he compromised b/c Jamilah is also a Swahili name. I like Arabic names because they are pretty and they are part of our Afro-American tradition, really, after all these years. I like the name Ishmael too.

21 04 2008
Esquire

A Lone:

I see now.
First marriage or not. Do not get involved with a man who has not done everything within his power to take care and love his child. Cause he wont take care of yours, or if he does he will be causing some major drama. “My dad loves his other kids and not me” drama.

I thot you meant a man with a child in general. My apologies

21 04 2008
Lady

“Lady – so your ex-friend was about 12-13 when she had little Taekwon? if he’s now 8 and she isn’t legal? Unless they changed the drinking age again – WOW.”

Yea, she was 12 at the time. She was a mess. She used to cut school (catholic) to sneak her boyfriend into the house, (18). She told him she was 16, and looked 16 (hair, make up, etc). She got pregnant, settled on that name gave birth when she was 13. Got caught shop lifting and got sent to a juvenile center. After that she was sent to this group home for mothers where he stayed with her. Single father, and she was the oldest and the wildest. I used to baby sit for him. We were already friends when i asked him why he didn’t ask my ex friend to do it and he was like ‘she’s only 12’ i was like ‘HUH?! I thought she was my age…’

Being a kid is the best.. don’t grow up so fast kids, damn.

P.S. the baby wasn’t her boyfriends.. she doesnt know who’s it is.. SMH

21 04 2008
Esquire

@ Sister:
my nephews name is Ibrihim. (pronounced like Abraham with an I instead.) I love it.
Tho I suspect he will have trouble at airports when he gets older

21 04 2008
zoso

@ Lady
I definitely agree. While some names are down right ridiculous, if it sounds too ethnic you’re in danger of being overlooked for some positions. I am forever grateful my mom picked good ol’ bible names for her kids. Although one’s a little different, because observers cannot differentiate race, nor speculate on gender given the name alone. Ace in the hole!

@ Merri Lee
Your professor should have walked around in one of those bubbles. Like the bubbleboy on Seinfeld. haha I referenced Seinfeld =p

21 04 2008
brran1

There’s nothing wrong with giving your child a name with meaning behind it, or if it has cultural roots. However, there is something wrong with namin yo kid Darquintayveous. smh I already have my son’s name picked out, and it’s far from one of those bastardizeds joints.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

I agree@ brran1

21 04 2008
kablammyman

so so true. I just wanna punch some kids in the mouth…

21 04 2008
Lady

@ Lady
I definitely agree. While some names are down right ridiculous, if it sounds too ethnic you’re in danger of being overlooked for some positions.

Well, perhaps I should rephrase. I added the racially ambiguous at the end, not really opposed to most of the names mentioned, but more to reiterate about the ‘Shaqwanda’s’ and the like. Not to say that white people don’t have their names Jett, Apple, Skylar, River, etc.. When i was in college i interned for this small company. When they were hiring permanent people they had me help look over the résumé’s and the woman I was looking over résumé’s with would look @ the applications with names like De’Mello or Chrisangela and be extra hard on them. They had to have better GPAs, better degrees, and better job histories etc, than say someone named ‘Michael’ or ‘Cathy’.. names that could be for either white, black, asian etc.. but didn’t automatically scream ‘My mother was a ghetto/trailer park mess’

And white people name thier kids after liquor all the time, i’ve seen Jameson & Jack Daniel (Daniel being the middle name). It just doesnt sound as bad as Alize, and the like..

21 04 2008
shabooty

unrelated to childrens but. . .

btw
lol king off all blacks called into the stern show this morning, and he wuz making a loud noise in the background, and he goes, “oh my bad im making gritz” -and howard goes -no stereotype there- and artie goes, are you making a watermelon too?

21 04 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

…How else could one explain the “Crank dat” phenomena, the musical gem and club banger that is “(shake that) booty meat,” and my personal fave, “aye bay bay’ without the children?! Pshh, give these kids some credit!

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

DEAD@ They had to have better GPAs, better degrees, and better job histories etc, than say someone named ‘Michael’ or ‘Cathy’.. names that could be for either white, black, asian etc.. but didn’t automatically scream ‘My mother was a ghetto/trailer park mess’

And white people name thier kids after liquor all the time, i’ve seen Jameson & Jack Daniel (Daniel being the middle name). It just doesnt sound as bad as Alize, and the like..

HELL YEA

One of my close friend is named Thaemilia( Tah-mil-lee-a) which was supposed to be a combo of her mom and dad’s name.. She will be 21 this yr and never had a job in her life until now. I felt sorry for her when her boss or teachers couldn’t pronounce her name for shit so now she goes by Taya. Funny how she has a job now that she goes by that name.

21 04 2008
zoso

“(shake that) booty meat,”, what song is that?

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Thaemilia? What were parents names? They should be changed to “I’oughtabe” and “Shot”. Names like this ruin my name, because people think it’s one of the made up ones.

OMG, I forgot the WORST NAMES I EVER EVER HEARD:

See, there was a family with 6 kids. They got pregnant again and named what should have been the last one Daend. Then they got pregnant AGAIN: Sommo. Get it? Da End and Some Mo.

Doomed.

21 04 2008
Grimm

I think there is a big double standard about names. When Indian people have names like Nimicha, Bhavika, and Eshita it is deemed acceptable. I’ve met plenty of Micha’s, Kesha’s, and Masha’s (Russian), but black “cultural” names like Mykeisha (actual Swahili) arent accepted because the “culture” of black americans isn’t accepted. Its sad because names like that (Keisha) became popularized when blacks started wanting to get back in touch with their “roots” and stop using slave names.
I must admit though that THEIR children went too far with the Tyrolaniesha’s, Shaquota’s, and Starniesha’s.

21 04 2008
brran1

I’ve never heard of that song either zoso

21 04 2008
zoso

I’m not positive, but I don’t think the name thing was this big of an issue until it went too far. Then again, assimilation is an american staple. Not to mention it’s unpatriotic to stray too far from the staple.

@brran1
Sounds like it’d be titled “Gimme Sommo Cannibalism!”

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister Toldja: I believe her mother’s name Thania( Taw-knee-a) I usually just called her Mom hahah I call all my friends mothers Mom and I forogt her dad’s name but yea ahaha you think that’s crazy I have a friend named Immah(E-mah), Dalia (which is a flower) I had a friend back in florida her legal names was Johnnie(her mom named her that because she wanted a boy) aint that fucked up. My fiance’s name is Marquil( like Mar-quil(dayquil are like the duck) hahha ppl fuck his name up all the time so he just tell them to call him Q. If he was born a girl it would have been Marquila ahahhaha Im like why the fuck you gonna name your son after a duck pretty and then have the nerve to put an a at the end if he was going to be a girl SMH. His mother’e name is Karin(Karen).

21 04 2008
brran1

@ Zoso: is that the remix wit Busta Rhymes? lol

21 04 2008
Miss Ray

omg, the children are the future. and chris shame on you; i’m sure you were the very same way. look at the fine young man you’ve turned into. emphasis on the fine…lol.

yet and still…i avoid taking the bus between 2:45 and 4:00 like the black sars avian flu plague hepatitus C virus (while not a disease, you’d avoid it if it were real). kids are loud, annoying, and just not concious of the fact that they are that way. which allows them to be even more so eligible for the back of my hand…

21 04 2008
Hot,Cool&Vicious

LOL at zoso and brran1

“Booty Meat” is a REAL song Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Mrs. Epps – those names aren’t that bad. Flower names fro girls are beautiful, very feminine and old-fashioned, which I like. Immah is Arabic, very pretty. Anything is better than Quineequa. Combo names are annoying. My nephew’s name is a combination of his parents’ birth-months – January + March = Jamari. ETHNICALLY OBVIOUS. Wait, we’re in the wrong topic for strange names!

21 04 2008
Sylvia/M

@ Cola — I also hate when women give their kid their old stripper name. Diamond, Unique, Alize, etc.. What’s next Mojito? Stop the madness!

*dead at “Mojito”*

“Hello, Legg Mason; I’m Tay’Quila Sunrise Jackson…”

21 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Knatural- OMG, we have a Jamari! But she is a girl. I wouldn’t call it one of the worst names. It actually seems pretty for her.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

knatrualbooty- Yea they arent that bad at all way better than Laquandarishad or some crazy shit like that.

OMG LMAOOO@ myself knatrualbooty…my brain got confused when I read booty meat wtffff sorry KNATRUALBEAUTY deepest apologies 🙂

21 04 2008
Sue

@brran1

If young girls are actually willing to put their personal hygiene/sexual business out there for all the world to hear you know teen sex tapes are next! Its comin’ ya’ll, its comin’!

Ewwww I just gave myself a visual *shudders* Damn you brran1!

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

ahahahahahah @ knaturalbooty
brran1, doesn’t the R.Kelly video qualify?

21 04 2008
Cola

I’m just saying! Sometimes people get carried away. They want the name to have “meaning”. So they think about that last shot they had, or the car they want. Just stop it! I don’t care what race you are that shit ain’t cute!

21 04 2008
Deviant

Can someone please pronounce Nykerrion Umbrca for me?

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

sorry, that was directed to Sue, not brran1

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Ni-carry-on Um-ber-ca i dunno theres my wild guess hahaha

21 04 2008
Deviant

And can someone also explain why Kearston parent of Arquavious and Quintavis Jr. gave her twins the same first name?

KyMani JaCorve’ and KyMani QuinSayi

21 04 2008
Sue

@knaturalbeauty,

R. Kelly? Not quite. See first it must be a really bad visual image from a cell phone because, really, how many of these kids own a camcorder? Second it must be posted on YouTube or some similar website. Somewhere along the way audio will get put in because it MUST BE LOUD TO GET ATTENTION and Voila! Instant sex tape! They’re going to make their mothers so proud…….

21 04 2008
Deviant

Mrs. Epps,

Are you insinuating that this child was named after a sporting equipment manufacturer and luggage that can be easily stored in the overhead compartment?

‘Cause that’s what it sounds like to me!

LMAO….

21 04 2008
brran1

It’s all good Knat. I believe there were a couple sex tapes floating around my HS back when i was there. Theses lil fuckers are off the hook, and thats something when someone 5 years older than u says that.

21 04 2008
Deviant

I stand corrected they don’t have the same name it just looks the same

one is KyMani and the other is KyMari

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

first of all, I hate giving twins alliterative names, let alone THOSE kind of names. KyMani and KyMari – no.
I feel sad that they’ll be a bunch of 70-year-olds named Jaquan and the like pushing walkers.
Teenage sex tapes, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I don’t want to think about it.

21 04 2008
Deviant

Twins Zy’Kuez and Zy’Quez

21 04 2008
Deviant

Zashanique with (what we hope are) sister Zazzinique and Kymi

21 04 2008
Deviant

I’m done I can’t look anymore.

I’m just glad I have a name that can spell and pronounce easily; that means something and is not a bastardization of a word or a deliberate misspelling of another name.

No one should ever be able to look at your name and have an accurate idea of what your parents’ educational level* might be…

*Just ’cause you went to college doesn’t mean you actually learned anything.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

bwhahahaha i guess I am@ Deviant..damn I couldnt be a teacher these days I would fuck up names on purpose.

KyMani JaCorve’ and KyMani QuinSayi

Sounds like their 1st names are sisters of KY jelly and the QuinSayi? WTF is he or she blackanese? QuinSayi sounds like some type of sushi or Sake(japanese rice wine). lmaooO

I knew 2 pairs of twins Inez and Annaiz and then Kendell and Kel(kinda close to that show that use to come on NICk Kennon and Kel) hahah

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Im glad my mom named me after her PhEW. Something easy and simple as fuck that you could never in your life mess up. But sometimes I feel like an old lady because no one else in my HS graduating class let alone in the school had my name. In my class there was nothing but Jermaine’s, Chirs’, Kevin’s, Ben’s, Britney’s, Sasha’s, Dalonte ect. common shit. But we occasionly had the weird names. A girl in my school was named Capri, Princess, Jaka(ja-kay), Latasha, Lashaun and Parasocous(like after those ugly ass skinny leg hoodrat jeans) I know u ladies remem those jeans hahah

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Oh.My.God. Parasuco’s!! I hated those jeans. Girls would wear them with those bleeping wrestling shoes. Anybody remember when girls wore cleats, for fashion. Maybe not, it was very brief. Remember crochets (the hair style). Ugh. I think we’re in the wrong post again.

21 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

Thanks Mrs Epps. Now I reminiscing about all those horrible junior/senior high fashions. Thanks a lot.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahaha I think we are in the wrong post as well hahah. But I remem the wrestling shoe phase SMFH. I never got that shit and the soccer shoes phase. UMM WHAT THE ?!! remem Serigo Valente’s those were the shit! the trends today i just dont get it. Like the multi colored sneakers and crap.. like the shoe’s never match a damn thing that your wearing. Or when big as hoop earring was the shit. ahahha my friend Travis would clown and say the big the hoop the bigger the hoe. lol what use to crack me up was those man-capris ahhahaha bwhahaha whyyyyYYYYYY

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahah no prob knatrualbeauty. It makes me want to flip through my old Year Books ahaha

21 04 2008
Merri Lee


Deviant (21:39:59) :

Can someone please pronounce Nykerrion Umbrca for me?

1) I-carry-an-umbrella?

2) I-am-on-unemployment-because-no-one-will-hire-me-with-this-name?

21 04 2008
DJStylus

I’ve had multiple experiences with our youth that demoralize me as I stare into the Gaping Maw of Fail that is the future or infuriate me to the brink of violence.

I realized that I can probably never go to the Gallery Place movie theater again because it’s like Lord of the Flies up in that piece. One night the kids were not only ridiculously loud but threatening people as they walked by and I shouted at them to shut up. They actually started going through the aisles trying to find me, as if they were going to exact revenge. One of them spent the rest of the whole movie screaming at the top of his lungs “WHO TOLD ME TO SHUT UP?!!? I WILL FUCK YOU UP!!!” The theater employees refused to do anything.

I haven’t been stoned yet but I did happen to come across the aftermath of an “unking” once. The guy was looking to me for help and the kids were taking all of his protests as provocation to attack again. I just told him to leave.

It seems like the kids tend to prey on white folks more, as if they’re a convenient target for subconcious meta-angst based on social status that they don’t know how to articulate. I’ve actually intervened a couple of times on the train when some kids ganged up on a random white person for an imagined infraction that they deemed assault worthy.

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

*sigh* thank you DJStylus, for officially destroying my last thread of faith in humanity.

21 04 2008
Merri Lee

BTW, I’m reading these names everyone’s posting, and playing a game of “Name or Bacteria?”

22 04 2008
Cola

@ Mr.Smith I love you for throwing the cell phone! I bet her ass will think twice next time!

22 04 2008
ph2072

Hilarious! But what a truthful and colorful post. 🙂 I’m so glad that I drive to work because prior to having to drive, I’d have to use public transportation. One of the main reason why I hate public transportation is because of those got-damn teenagers.

Sadly enough, when I was comin’ up, my crew and I WERE those disgusting monster teens. HOWEVER, when an adult told us to cut it out, we damn sure
did. And we damn sure weren’t as monstrous as the kids are today.

And guess what I do for a living? Yes…. work with the little monsters. At least this time around, it’s kinda amusing to work with the little fuckers. 😉

22 04 2008
DatsRight

We must have been on the same fucking train!! I had to take the Red Line today to Woodley Park today to go to a conference. My ride in was smooth sailing. My ride out (around 3:45pm) was HELL due to the the fuck-cunts (as you so aptly named them) talking loudly and ignorantly about absolutely nothing. Of course they liberally used curse words while splitting infinitives and butchering the english language. It was enough to turn me off having “children.”

22 04 2008
Meka

Has anyone mentioned the little fuckerheadbastards in Chicago? Oh, these little rascals are awful, just awful. First, they don’t go to school. I’m sorry but what the hell else does an eleven year old have to do from 9am to 3:30pm? They need to have the ability to tell me something…did you learn a new word…did you learn about common denominators…what? I cannot count the number of kids that I see in the middle of the day in the middle of the week. One Wednesday morning, I went grocery shopping and saw so many damn kids that I started thinking that my weekend was ready to come to an end…for real. Second, their parents don’t care what they do, whom they are with, or where they are as long as the bad asses aren’t at home (which makes me wonder: if your ass doesn’t want to be bothered with your own damn child, what makes you think the world wants to deal with him/her?). Third, you can’t say a damn thing to them because they will either (a) shoot your ass; (b) beat your ass; or (c) stab your ass…and then steal your shit!

I have lived in Chicago for nearly three years and based upon the coontastical behavior that I have seen, I do not feel confident about the future of Black America.

22 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Where the heck is Anmarie on this one?

22 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

219 comments? Holy hell I can barely get a word in edgewise nowadays!

22 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

Meka: coontastical!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

22 04 2008
Lone Dreamer

Speaking of horrendously ugly names — haven’t people heard of nicknames? Or middle names? Why saddle your kid with a name that would forever scar them? That’s just cruel.

I think there should be a naming committee at every hospital and just refuse stupid ass names. I would totally support that.

And honestly — kids should really change their names when they reach 18. It’s not expensive or hard — but it’ll do you a world of good. Keep the new name professionally and respond to the old one if you want — no biggie!

P.S. When I have kids I’ll be considering how the name is going to effect them in each stage of their lives — baby, school, college, job, marriage, etc.

22 04 2008
omi

(disclaimer: i laughed, as i always do, at the post & the comments. but…)

this sparked a lot of thought…i just went ahead & blogged on it ’cause it was just too much for a comment…

in a nutshell, though, i think the root of this can be traced to the lack of community in this country. folks don’t know their neighbors anymore. people aren’t forming the familial and social bonds they used to. these kids can get away with ridiculousness away from home (if they HAVE a home/parents/whatever…) ’cause it’s almost a guarantee that no one will KNOW them a few blocks (or a few doors) from home.

how many of us could say that growing up? i KNOW most of our parents can’t say that…

maybe black folks REALLY need to start talking to each other again… i dunno.

22 04 2008
omi

…okay. i didn’t put the smileys in there…

22 04 2008
zoso

magical smileys

22 04 2008
Mr. Smith

You know what though? For the kids that aint been brought up correctly, they got that one rude awakening day (me breaking your fucking cell phone) coming. So bad, lazy, unfit parents, let your kids be a buncha punks asses. They gonna get theirs one day whether it be the greatest ass whoopin ever witnessed or talkin shit to the wrong person however that may end.

22 04 2008
Meka

Angry v3.2b, I wish I could take credit for that word. I read it on one of the posts on this site. I had been searching for a word that accurately reflected the dysfunction that I see everyday in Chicago and “coontastical” summed it up. Chicago is the epicenter of coontastical behavior.

22 04 2008
brran1

@ Mr. Smith:

I’d pay to watch someone yoke up Tyquarius or Laquantrantanika. Just watch out for that glock they have hidden on them.

22 04 2008
Natalie

Luckily I have not had the misfortune of seeing kids coming home from school on the DC Metro but I’ve had the EXTREME misfortune of seeing kids just as bad on the Baltimore subway–which for some odd reason I’ve been having a really hard time convincing people actually exists but anyways…it is getting to the point where I think they should just declare Martial Law in Baltimore City Public Schools because in less than half a year they’ve already had a bunch of middle school kids whoop on one lady riding the bus, another punched the crap out of her art teacher (while her genius classmate decided to record it with her cell phone) and then just this past week a boy stabbed his classmate in the neck with a pair of scissors. These kids are obviously not pissed about being assigned one of those stupid “All About Me” magazine collages for homework. If children keep going in this direction I might as well throw myself on that hot third rail I’m always staring at while I’m waiting for the next train…

22 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Meka, I resent that! As a Chicago native who has spent time in DC, B-More, PG County (Murrrland), Brooklyn and Newark….I guarantee my hometown is NOT the epicenter. From what I have seen in real life, I’d give that award to the DMV. From what I have seen on TV and from the folk who came to HU, I’d say Atlanta. Atlanta people are thisclose to being a walking minstrel show. Is that where Soulja Boy is from?

22 04 2008
Admiral Furious

You know… I’ve heard that the police in Brazil are the Judge, Jury, and Executioner when it comes to transient children engaging in criminal behavior. As nice as that sounds, this country is way too corrupt and racist for that type of martial law to be enacted because the next thing you would know… police officers ALL over would be using any justification they could think of to shoot black children. But then again… what other solution is there?

22 04 2008
Cola

I am all for issuing discipline on unruly kids. Regardless, if they are mine or not. I have some bad ones in the neighborhood that love to play in the middle of the street. Humph! They know when they see my car coming to get their asses out of the way because I am not slowing down! Why the hell they play in the street instead of the yard is beyond me!

22 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ AF- We (Black people) have to take control of the education of our children! The government cannot be trusted with teaching our kids how to function and preparing them to succeed. Ultimately, the parents have the greatest burden of responsibility but the only way we can help children who are not our own is through education and mentoring. A better school system can also help train these children of these aint-shit parents to be productive members of society who will not repeat their parents mistakes.

22 04 2008
my2blackbabiesrbeautiful

@ Cola, just be careful about not slowing down for the little savages that play in the street. One day my dad was driving down the street, and a whole gang of kids were in the street, cussin, sexually molesting the half-dressed girls in the group, and some of the girls were booty-clapping for the passers-by. Well, in an effort not to mow them all down, manslaughter style, my dad slowed a bit, and not one of them moved. They gave my dad a “of all the streets to be drivin down” look. Well, one of the thuglettes actually banged on my dad’s car window because he had the nerve to intercept their play. WTF! My dad was driving down the MIDDLE of the street. Aren’t you supposed to walk next to the curb? My dad was actually scared they would find his car and shoot it up. Why is this a concern for a 73 y/o man?

22 04 2008
my2blackbabiesrbeautiful

Toldja, you are right about parents taking back education. I am a teacher and there is only so much that I can do in the classroom. If I look through one more backpack and find nothing touched of even moved around, I am going to fucking retire! At least pretend you read the shit I send home. Then when they can’t go on the field trip, participate in a play or bring in money for a sale, they want to know why no notice was sent home. Effin-A!

22 04 2008
Lady

Bad kids should not turn any one off to having kids. You (the parent or parent to be) ultimately decide how your child will turn out if you instill the right values in them from the beginning. I really believe that. We had two parents, my grand parents, aunts, uncles and family friends to look out for us and keep us in line. There wasn’t any of that ‘don’t beat my kid’ mess, if i acted up my aunt would tear my ass up just as fast as my mom would. And I know a lot of households are single parent households, whether it be by accidental pregnancy, divorce, loss of spouse, whatever but if you just talk to family/friends/neighbors and let them know “if you see my kid acting a fool on the streets and I’m not around you have my full permission to act on my behalf”. It’s just takes discipline and dedication to your child. If i mouthed off i got popped in my lip and i made damn sure i didn’t do it again. My father helped me with my homework every night, no matter how much i couldn’t stand it. My grandmother didn’t let the TV raise us, she made us read books, we didn’t have video games (until later on anyway) we had to use our imaginations and make our own games. All these things can help shape a well rounded person. One who will see their friends act a fool but know better but distance themselves, or pick friends who are like them, ones who have respect for themselves and people around them. I now take these things that my family taught me and try to instill them in my son, with my own little twists.

Your kid could be one of the rarities that actually give hope for the future.

22 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Sister Toldja…

I agree 100%. Thats precisely what I was saying in my posts above and those in previous discussions. Unfortunately, the reality of it is… that statement is much easier said than done because we’re trapped in a vicious cycle of ever degenerating people being spawned and raised, with each generation more stupid and more violent than the previous. Yes its due to the parents and the ensuing environment as well as many other factors that cause these kids to be the way they are (nutrition is yet another).

22 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Mr Smith-You know what though? For the kids that aint been brought up correctly, they got that one rude awakening day (me breaking your fucking cell phone) coming. So bad, lazy, unfit parents, let your kids be a buncha punks asses. They gonna get theirs one day whether it be the greatest ass whoopin ever witnessed or talkin shit to the wrong person however that may end.

HIt me up next time so I can bring the brass knuckles and my Tim’s and a switch I would gladly whoop some ass! bwhahaha 🙂

22 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister Toldja- We (Black people) have to take control of the education of our children! The government cannot be trusted with teaching our kids how to function and preparing them to succeed. Ultimately, the parents have the greatest burden of responsibility but the only way we can help children who are not our own is through education and mentoring. A better school system can also help train these children of these aint-shit parents to be productive members of society who will not repeat their parents mistakes

YESSSSSSS PREACH ma sista! This is exactly what needs to happen. Like my step-daughter is 5 about to turn 6 ina few months and she doesn’t even know how to read yet. Which is fine she still has time but now a days kids need to know how to read by 1st grade. I know when I was 5 entering 1st grade early it was required for 1st graders to know how to read atleast a short pre-school book. My grandmother taught me to read that whole summer before 1st grade. So I am worried that when my step-daughter hit 1st grade she wont know how to read like most of her classmates. It’s hard though because does have an attention span of a 5 yr old which is normal but it is also tough when she doesnt even want to try it and thats because her mother is fucking useless and doesn’t teach her shit. This little girl knows better spanish than I do and im part latina but she can’t read english which is way more important for her future as of right now.

22 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Oh and Esquire I tried the putting my nose on the wall I wanted to cry..with that said I am def using that when that little heffa wants to talk out of line 🙂

22 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Mrs Epps- That is so sad! I could read when I was 3, no bullshit. The teachers didn’t believe my mom for the longest! They thought I had memorized a few books. I work in elementary ed now, and our kindergartners are becoming PHENOMINAL readers and writers. It just takes love and a lot of hard work. Good luck!

22 04 2008
Sandybaby

I loathe taking the Metro too! That’s why Ifound a job closer to home in PG County. I’ve had enough of these hoodrats to last me til eternity!!!!

Great post!

22 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yea my little cousin could read by 3 as well, which is amazing and I believe that both my fiance and her mom are slacking on the real tip. Like she can count and do basic addition on her fingers but she can’t read! And I think that she should have been taught by now. I have know idea what her mom is doing with her time to fix it.It’s not like she works or goes to school. But what I do know is that she can’t read but knows every word to a Hannah Montana song. SMH…It’s fucking sad. For example last weekend when we had her over the house she wanted to read a book with me. I asked her if her mom taught her how to read yet, she said no and then demanded me to read to her. I told her no your going to learn to read it yourself. She threw a fit and said her mommy said she didnt have to learn to read. In my head I was like WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I want to slap the shit out her mom for saying that. I told my man what she said and he called her up to asked if it was true and she said YES! OMGGG

22 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

@Deviant, I just realized KyMani is one of Bob Marley’s kids…still no excuse though 😀

22 04 2008
london

you have to have a license to have a dog… but not a child
some people should not be allowed to breed at all… ever…
you see them everywhere with their feral nasty snot nosed whelps running round her feet infecting everything they touch…..
and the mother -it is always the mother because there is no man around- is wearing her spangly jeans and top combo that match her rancid weaved hair and fake nails and plastic fake bag and shoes… looking like a dogs dinner scoping the streets for a next baby daddy while out shopping..
ugh.. makes me ill….

22 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Doing the nose thing as we speak. Trying not to kill this child….

22 04 2008
dnacheezit

@Merri Lee

BTW, I’m reading these names everyone’s posting, and playing a game of “Name or Bacteria?”
______________________

I went to school with a girl named Candida. If that wasn’t bad enough, she was joined a couple yrs later by her sister Clamidia (Chlamydia).

I wish I was making that sh*t up.

25 04 2008
Gypsy

wow. and i thought this kind of idiot behaviour only happened in nyc on the subways & buses here.

sickening. because it always makes me wonder if i was loud & obnoxious at that age, and the answer is a RESOUNDING ‘NO’. because my mother would have had my ARSE.

all we can do is pray, no?

26 04 2008
GuessWho

I am not even going to go deep with this post….Pheww… First post of yours that did not evoke laughter but evoked deep thought. I worry sometimes when I hear some things kids say or see some things they do.

I just wanted to say however that I am glad that someone agrees with me that MTV is just so so wrong. And to believe thats teenagers are avid followers……whats the future going to be? I cringe at some of the shows I have come across while flipping through….

Okay I am about to search for a funny post on here. this is all too depressing….

28 04 2008
thepowersthata

The Branch Ave side of the Green line is the worst. Those kids should not be allowed out without their parents. Then again, their parents are the same folks eating shrimp and dropping the tails on the train floor, removing braids and dropping them on the train floor, or rapping along with Tony Yayo. My poor sister has to ride from White Flint to Annacostia (home of many ignorant children) each day for work. I’d have pushed a herd of kids onto the third rail by now if I didn’t get off at Metro Center each day.

28 04 2008
Mr. Smith

@ Cola,

Do you have a bigger picture?

28 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Okay… there is no justification here. NONE… just watch the video…

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/04/26/pkg.seven.stolen.car.wpbf

6 05 2008
7 05 2008
Shine

Ug this is the one place where I know this will be appreciated. Waiting at the bus stop 2 white women are talking
“How’s your son?’
“Oh he’s getting to be too much. I have to tell him 2-3 times to do something and then I have to tell him the consequences before he does anything. It’s getting to be too much. He doesn’t act like this at school, only with me.-”

I’m thinking 1) tell him the consequences up front. Make sure you are those consequences. Thats probably what happens at school. But she goes on.

“He just takes off running when we get off the train, he takes off running when we get off the bus. Falling down on concrete is bad enough but the other day he fell down on concrete in front of a car. I mean it was ok they saw him coming but I just can’t believe it.”

If you know your little badass takes off running as soon as the doors open why aren’t you holding onto that child when the doors open? I mean he ran in front of a car AND fell down. He was laying down in the street in front of a vehicle!!! But she goes on.

“I’m having surgery on Monday and this can’t continue. I tell him he could die but he knows if he does he’ll go with Jesus and that’s a better place so he’s not afraid.”

This child is not afraid of death!*

“And when I punish him and put him in time out he doesn’t care. He knows he’s going to sit in his room so he just figures he can take the time out. The only thing that bothers him is when I close the door. Then he throws a tempter tantrum and I don’t have the energy to deal with that. And when I close the door, he kicks it.”

My number one hate in kids is temper tantrums. I cannot stand it and I will beat the lilly daylights out of you if you are even remotely related to me and throw a tempertantrum. If you aren’t I will leave your ass right where you fall and you can find your own way home. I wish I would’ve tried to have a temper tantrum with my parents. My parent’s always said if I want to cry they can give me something to cry about. And damage the door by kicking it. Oh my own shoe would’ve been so far up my ass I would’ve spitting out the laces. I so wanted to turn around and tell this woman the honest truth. One ass-whooping and your child would’ve gotten his act together. You wouldn’t even have to do it twice. Beat him once and then he’d remember and never want to get his ass whooped again. He’d be happy to take at time out with the door closed. Sheesh. The child isn’t even a little badass like other kids on the metro, just he doesn’t listen to you. Stupid people

*most kids under 5 aren’t scared of death because they don’t understand it but it sounds more dramatic this way.

14 05 2008
Merri Lee

Oh HELL no…

14 05 2008
Knatural

poor little chunk

16 05 2008
Homophobes « Stuff Black People Hate

[…] 16 05 2008 I was on the train yesterday listening to more 11 year olds loudly swearing and talking about butt sex in the presence of mortified adults when the fattest ugliest kid in the bunch made a comment similar to the […]

30 05 2008
Representing « Stuff Black People Hate

[…] of the race towards those whose impressions of black people come from loud and foul-mouthed children on the Metro and Yo MTV Raps. The worst part is…we do it unconsciously. At no time was I more […]

30 05 2008
klysha

How did I miss this post….wow….again you are inside my head. I watched Idiocracy for the first time a couple of months ago and had that exact same feeling. I don’t experience the kids on the subway until I need to go someplace downtown though. My metro commute is from Shady Grove to White Flint…(now I’m going to start looking for a super lanky Black/Native American carrying a laptop when I get off the train…okay that was my second stalker like comment I’ve left on your site). But the first time I saw the kids on the train I was mortified and deeply saddened about the future state of the country once these little miscreants come of age.

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