Woman-Hating Women

18 04 2008

Every man has had a conversation similar to the following after meeting a woman in her 20s:

Guy: “So whaddyou like to do? Where do you hang out?”
Girl: “Oh you know, the usual. Bars, clubs, lounges, etc. I love to try new restaurants but my friends just aren’t into that sorta thing?”
Guy: “Yea? What’s their problem?”
Girl: “Well, most of my friends are guys. So we usually wind up doing ‘manly’ shit – trying new restaurants isn’t really their bag”
Guy: “Most of your friends are guys?”
Girl: “Yea…I don’t really get along with girls. Too much drama, and they’re too bitchy”
Guy: [head explodes]

Figure 1: If women hate each other, there should be a lot more of this

7 of the last 8 women I’ve met have tried to spoon-feed me this statement in some form or another, and many of my female acquaintances I’ve known for years say the same thing. All in all, I’m willing to say that 80% of all twenty-something girls I’ve ever met claim that all/most of her friends are men because girlfriends are too high-maintenance/bitchy/full-o-drama, etc. For whatever reason, girls seem about twice as likely to declare woman-hate if they’re interested in you sexually. This shit is infuriating for two reasons:

1. It’s a Lie

If so many women claim to hate hanging out with other women, they why the fuck are there so many women at social events hanging out with other women? And not just a couple women are seen together – it’s whole wolfpacks of chicks rolling six or seven deep and happily executing pre-emptive cockblocking for (or against) one another. You rarely, if ever, look around and see a pack of dudes orbiting their platonic female friend.

Figure 2: Myth

I can hear the ladies’ response now: “Wait! You’re wrong! Lots of girls DO have mostly male friends, they just prefer to hang out with one or at most two of them at a time! GIGGLE!” That brings me to the second reason woman-hating women are unmitigatedly repulsive…

2. All Her Male Friends Want to Fuck Her

Anybody ever notice that, for girls that really do have almost all male friends, pretty much all the guys are single? Married or committed men don’t hang out with women on the one-on-one basis those women prefer because this would enrage their partners for a very simple reason: barring special circumstances usually involving years-long friendships, men only hang out with women in the hopes of eventually having sex with them.

Pay very close attention here, ladies: MEN DO NOT WANT PLATONIC FEMALE FRIENDS.

Why the hell would we? Sure, girls have a lot to offer as friends. But male friends offer everything female friends offer (that we care about) without all the emotional crap. Being friends with a woman is like having a girlfriend who won’t have sex with you. Being friends with a man is like having a pet rock. You can neglect it, abuse it, fart on it, make fun of it, and yet nothing changes. It’s fucking awesome.

So yes, ladies – your single male friends are not your friends. They just want to fuck you.

Figure 3: (l to r) – how women think their guy friends see them, how their guy friends really see them

I can hear the responses to this already…

“But he’s so nice!”

Because he wants to fuck you.

“But he’s never made a move”

He’s waiting for an opening. He probably just watched “When Harry Met Sally”. He wants to fuck you.

“But we’ve been friends for ten years!”

See my answer above

“But he dates other girls!”

He does this to appear as if he doesn’t want to fuck you, so that one day you’ll fuck him*.

When you meet a guy and tell him that you have a bunch of male friends because girls are too ‘bitchy’, you think he hears “I’m low-maintenance and down to earth!” What he really hears is “I’ve got a mile-long line of dudes waiting to fuck me at the first available opportunity!”

Please please stop it.

*Empirical evidence has shown that there is nothing sexier to a woman than an attractive man who, while acknowledging her presence, seems completely uninterested in having sex with her. The more attractive the woman is, the more this rule applies.

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286 responses

18 04 2008
Cola

I agree with most of this. However I think every women is aware that her male friend would hit if he was given the opportunity. Some women actually get off on that!

Question.. Would a guy seriously wait ten years to get it? Hilarious!

18 04 2008
brran1

In certain situations, if the girl was built like Melyssa Ford or something. Yes

18 04 2008
imaG

2 of my neighbors always claim that, yah I hate girls I can only hang out with guys and then theyre roomates lthey coo peoples tho. I only read the first conversation because im in a computer lab and dont want to look weird with thongs and playgirls all over the place. will continue this read later.

http://www.anythingblack.net

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Yo, I HATE the chick who says they don’t have lady friends. And Black women, regardless of educational level, adopt the same hoodrat-ass tone and speech pattern when they say it: “I don’t really get along with fe-males. They be having too much drama and I don’t be needing all that.” This is no more ridiculous than someone saying “Yeah, I’m Black, but I don’t really get along with Black people. All of my friends are White. Black people steal.” You don’t like women, because you are a bitch and/or a slut and you don’t want to be around your own kind. Either that, or you are insecure.

My guy friends over the years: one or two I messed with and then we realized we were better as friends, a couple who liked me but it wasn’t mutual, a few closet cases and the openly gay ones. One of my very best friends is a straight male and we have never crossed the lines. We are like platonic soulmates, the same person in a lot of ways. But he DOES get a little jealous sometimes when I flirt with men I don’t know in public. I think he’s more territorial than he is intersted in me though.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sighs…
But he’s so nice!”

Because he wants to fuck you.

“But he’s never made a move”

He’s waiting for an opening. He probably just watched “When Harry Met Sally”. He wants to fuck you.

“But we’ve been friends for ten years!”

See my answer above

“But he dates other girls!”

He does this to appear as if he doesn’t want to fuck you, so that one day you’ll fuck him*.

LMFAOO..umm I’m not even gonna lie I have said these things too, not the whole most of my friends are males because they aren’t but i do have a few male friends and i have no doubt in my mind that they dont want to fuck me. I’m not that damn gullible and 1/2 my girlfriends are when it comes to their male friends. But I will admit playing madden 2008 and God of war and throw back some beers and watching the game at the ESPN Zone is way more fun than going to the club with my girlfriends and get drunk and having to hold someone’s hair up over the toilet while they throw up. Pass.. But what annoys the hell out me sometimes is when my girlfriends say I’m tom-boyish because I play sports and like watching football faithfully infront of a huge wide-screen/projector at my finace’s homeboys house(and ofcourse when I hang out with dudes my man is almost always there anyways because my male friends are his aswell). But that shit makes me want to curse a heffa out becuase I am far from tom-boy i just like things that guys like too. Like the other day one of my girlfriends come over to our new house and we were watching the TNA(not titts n ass) PPV on the computer and she asked me why I watch this man stuff isnt it boring? and then continued to to blab on about some gosip that i couldnt give 2 scoops of poop about. Sometimes females are fucking annoying and so are men!

18 04 2008
Esquire

I agree with most of this. I had a LOT of male friends in college who were geniunely very nice and I even was VERY good friends with two girlfriends. But I always knew most of them were one shot of Crown away from doin the nasty with me and keeping it amongst us with no jealousy, possesiveness, and all the drama some regular chick would have brougt.

As you get older, your FRIENDS not associates, really become more same gender. Not because my husband is jealous, but because what the hell business do I have sittin around drinking with a bunch of ball scratching men who are attempting to take a break from wives, baby mamas, crazy girlfriends.

I enjoy the company of people who want to talk about babies, weddings, and girly topics. Its cool to have friends that you can just let some of the seriousness go with. I see men all damn day, I want some women with my same brain power to chill with. I work in a male dominated field, my husband is coach and he could give two shits about the draperies I found on sale for 50 bucks. But my homegirls love that shit. With the exception of my gay husband, most of my FRIENDS aka the people I talk to on the phone, go shopping with, go to “girls nite” with are women.

My husband is my best friend, and he is enough man for me. I dont need another male up in my grill all the time.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@Mrs. Epps- I forgot to acknowedge tomboys! They off course get a pass, as to the girls with the, uh, extra bass in their voice and baggy pants.

And yes, drinking with the guys and watching the game is always a blast. I just tend to be the chick who is also gonna make the snacks and bake some cookies as well. I love having guy friends, but I’d die without the girls! I lived with to men and a butch lesbian before, which was a lot of fun. But it was so hard when I was trying to get dressed and needed opinions. All they could come up with is “It’s good cause your titties are out” or “I can’t see your breasts in that one.”

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

@ Sister Toldja I must agree “You don’t like women, because you are a bitch and/or a slut and you don’t want to be around your own kind. Either that, or you are insecure”.

So True I had this girlfriend that claims that she dont hang out with women but yet she has been my friend sicne we were in 1st grade hahah. But honestly not to put her shit out there she has mostly guy friends a) because they buy her drinks at the bar b) she’s a slut c) Did I mention she was a slut hahaha

No wonder we arent that great of friends now. But I guess you always gotta have that one slutty ass friend hahah. Its good for when you go the club then all the dudes can hit on her and not you, especially since I am engaged.

18 04 2008
letinstar

so…you just want to fuck me?

i’m doing it wrong…i better go find some girlfriends to hang out with…lol

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister Toldja- hell yea @ just tend to be the chick who is also gonna make the snacks and bake some cookies as well.

Me too!! It will be like a little party make some fried chicken maybe some homemade fries, cut up some veggie and fruit, play some TONK(card game). I ove my male friends too they are hella chill but my girl I gotta have my chicas, sometimes I need my ” OMG did you know that bitch is pregnant”! LMAO

18 04 2008
Mr. Smith

First off, I really wanna hang out with Mrs. Epps…

I agree with all of this 100%. This shit was too funny and all too true. The one thing that pisses me off even more is when women think they have the little ace in the hole with their “gay male friend”. You know which one I’m talking about ladies? The guy who claims to be gay, but you NEVER see him with another man, you only HEAR stories and this “faux-fruitcake” touches you, grabs your hindquarters and breasts even more than a perverted straight man would? Gay friend my ass, this particular perpetrator falls right under the category just as much as your little platonic friends. Ever seen “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”? No? You probably should as fast as possible.

18 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Chris,

Where do you find these pictures? Miss Universe has a horse’s mouf if I’ve ever seen one

18 04 2008
Anmarie

“Sure, girls have a lot to offer as friends. But male friends offer everything female friends offer (that we care about) without all the emotional crap. Being friends with a woman is like having a girlfriend who won’t have sex with you. Being friends with a man is like having a pet rock. You can neglect it, abuse it, fart on it, make fun of it, and yet nothing changes. It’s fucking awesome.”

Exactly

Personally i know every male friend I’ve had has wanted to have sex with me, but I don’t care because i can neglect this desire without getting any heat because of it. Unless of course he;s unbalanced then it gets a little crazy. Friends where nothing changes no matter what happen are great, but give and take is also wonderful. (that;s why good men get so attached to their women, it’s like “wow! I can care! i can care!”–lol I’m kidding)

I’d never tell a man I don’t have a alot of female friends because they’re drama, here;s why:

1. My favorite: Fuck ya’ll, I’m a woman first! I have to deal with being a woman all day and all the bullshit that life throws at you because of it. So I’d never put down women as a whole just to impress some dude who most likely wants to hit and run anyway.

2. I have been able to maintain a handfull of wonderful friendships with women and they are awesome people, albeit mostly earth signs like myself, a bit more practical than other folks MALE and female. My closest girls would never get sold out for some random stranger’s attention.

Yes, well I think what you find repulsive in this women hating women issues is the self hatred. That being the case you only have to thank the history of male oppression and sexism in society, viacom, the male music video. Thank Statements like: “Fat chicks are fun to ride, but don’t let your friends see you”, “Bend over and show me what ya working with”, “Slut, whore, ho, trick, bitch, …shorty” ,”Hootiers, yum yums, snack trays, party favors” and all the other ways men find to dice us up into NOT REAL PEOPLE, ie figure 3. So fuck what ya heard, I have female friends when the shit hits the fan they’re who I trust.

(from now on I’m cussing i don’t care there’s just to much shit to get pissed about)

18 04 2008
Educated NSU Demon

And once again, the Ladder Theory holds true. Frankly, any given male would fuck any given woman at any given time. It just all depends on the quality of women they’re able to pull…for each level they can’t attain, they go a bit lower on the ladder. However, on the women’s side, they have one ladder of guys they would hit, and another ladder designated for guys that could NEVER in a million years get on the ladder they wanna be on. If these were the last guys on earth, she’d either become a lesbian, or just go celibate. While all the guy wants is physical sex from the woman, the woman probably just prefers the mind fuck she gets from having great conversation with him, but would never actually ‘drop the draws’ for him.

I think a lot of times guys do enter inter gender friendships with pure intentions, but if they could get it, hey, that would be a nice benefit, wouldn’t it? But usually, it’ll get to the point where sex is the determining factor of whether the friendship lasts. Most of these male-female friendships won’t last long because it’s gonna come down to whether or not the female would EVER fuck him. Frankly, at least 93% of the time, the only inter gender friendships that withstand the test of time are friendships where one, or both, of the parties are gay.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Esquire-“I enjoy the company of people who want to talk about babies, weddings, and girly topics. Its cool to have friends that you can just let some of the seriousness go with”.

Can we hang out because as of right now I need more friends like this. All my friends what to do is talk about their drama with their boyfriends and going clubbing on the weekend. Im not even in to all that shit. In my free time I am usualy home with my fiance or at a gathering that we were both invited to with “grown folk”. I feel as thought me and my old friends arent on the same page and we really dont have anything in common anymore. Probably because they are still stuck in kiddie mood. Im not, I just bought a house with my man, we are planning our weeding in hawaii, talking about having children. I had have the time or money to be going up in the club spending money on $10 drinks to sweat out my hair dancing and get hit on by some wanna-be Young Jezzy.
SMH

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Mrs Epps- Awww! You can tell me all about your wedding plans, I’ll listen. Ain’t NONE of my homegirls anywhere near that yet. Meanwhile, I have a screenname on theknot.com….

18 04 2008
Uhura

Chris and SisterT are toally on point here: In summary

I don’t like to hang wif FEmales and I can’t get along with wimmin=I am a delusional self hating shrew.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahah 🙂 @ Mr. Smith-First off, I really wanna hang out with Mrs. Epps

You know which one I’m talking about ladies? The guy who claims to be gay, but you NEVER see him with another man, you only HEAR stories and this “faux-fruitcake” touches you, grabs your hindquarters and breasts even more than a perverted straight man would?

Dude hell yea! I fuckin hate these fakes ass gay males. My bestfriend has one of these. I keep telling her that dude wants to fuck her so bad he pretends to be gay. She will swear up and down that he is gay. Im ‘like sweetheart dude is gay a) you never seen him hit on another gay dude b) you never seen him hold hands, hug, even kiss a man on the lips in your presence. DCude is not gay. I have plenty of gay friends male and female. Gay males especially will let you know the deal. He will go tot he club with you and dance with other dude and i mean like grinding dick on dick and if he is drunk enough you will most likely see him making out with another dude. My friend tooke me to this gay bar once when I was living in Florida, gay ppl galour dancing and making out n shit. So ladies if he hasnt suggest going to a gay club yet dude is soooooo NOT GAY!! he wants the “cuddy”.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister Toldja- YAY that would be cool because, my friends dont wanna hear about that shit. They either roll their eyes out of JEALOUSY. Damn that’s one thing that is also annoying about female friends especially the ones that have a low-self esteem. They are some fuckin HATERS!! Whenever you have something good going on in your life they want to down it and say shit like: “Hmm he gonna cheat on you” or ” I dont trust him”. My friend had the nerve to say that CRAPOOOLA to me when I told her I was engaged. She didnt even meet my fiancee yet and already had something negative to say. SMMFH. An don top of that I have to deal with her fuckin insecurities. We have the same convo everyother day it goes like this:

Her- eww i look a hot mess today look at my face im so ugly you the pretty one you always get the guys.

Me- sighs.. you not ugly u are pretty why always say that, and no I dont always get guys

Her- Whatever im still ugly and ur the pretty one I hate you.

What I really wanna say to her:
” Bitch yes your fucking ugly, a ugly ass slut with low slef-esteem that fucks anyhting with a dick and balls”.

HAHA

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Bitch yes your fucking ugly, a ugly ass slut with low slef-esteem that fucks anyhting with a dick and balls”

Um…what’s her number?

18 04 2008
Anmarie

Figure one is also a good example of why women would hate themselves. Got any school girls getting spanked by a yard stick in the folder.
“I don’t have female friends”=”I’m different than the others please treat me like a real person”

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

I am going to get myself all the way in trouble for this one and I really do not care.

Speaking from my perspective only, I will openly admit that I have a number of female friends who I regularly keep in contact with… and yes that my girlfriend knows about. Calm down, don’t get out your flame throwers yet. The reason for me maintaining contact with various women that I’ve know for (damn…) ten plus years is a combination of friendship and maintaining potential business relationships. Now there is NO denying that at some point I (like many other men who were in college) would have liked the chance to saddle up and ride the women i was attracted to, but the opportunity never presented itself… be it because I was in a relationship and she was single or vice versa. Regardless, maintaining boundary driven acquaintances is imperative for maintaining and moving forward with success (of course dependent on what profession you’re in… conflicting professions just don’t work). Ever heard the term “Its all about who you know?” Well I keep that option open… as does my girlfriend.

Now if anyone here is too insecure to admit to your significant other of friendships and they are too insecure and paranoid you may do something promiscuous its quite a shame. Just remember, it takes two to tango.

18 04 2008
Esdotto

In furtherance of Mr Smith’s recommendation, i would say read a brief synopsis of the movie. Even though the love of my life (Jessica Biel, is this the wrong forum to admit that on?) plays a major role in it, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry may be one of the worst movies of the last 3 or 4 decades.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAO@ Chris. Um trust me you don’t want that loosey goosey. BUt she is a freak no doubt. Many of days I was in the room while she was riding some dudes pogo stick and watched does that make me a freak too. bwahahahaha. One day I will stop telling on myself.

18 04 2008
Anmarie

“Many of days I was in the room while she was riding some dudes pogo stick and watched does that make me a freak too. ”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😛
You dirty girl LMAO hahahahahaha! Oh that;s funny.

18 04 2008
Anonymiss

@ SIster Toldja,

C’mon now. Some women are just plain wack. Granted, I have women friends and we’ve been down for years, but I don’t think I’ll ever find friends like them again. At the same time, I’m not the “soft and pink” (albeit I do love me some makeup) type of woman.

There are things that I can’t talk about with most of my women friends (i.e., politics, rap music, feminism, a book I’ve read, basic non-women-bashing dialogue, etc.). For a lot of women, I’m too “nerdy”/”geeky” so I end up talking about shopping or TV or I just listen to them talk about whatver.

I see your point about the rationale. I had to work on that.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Admiral Furiuos- I must agree with what you said. I think its important to keep in contact with ppl in general business relationships wise. Becasue you never know who can help you out career wise. Male or female.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

🙂 @ Anmarie….I guess I started watching because I was bored and just couldn’t look away! Which probably start my massive porn collection on my computer ahaha…but its all good my man found it cool when we 1st met and stumbled across my “Ass Parade” DVD. damn I told on myself again ahha 😡

18 04 2008
Machete

Mkaaay so what you are telling me here is that as a “platonic friend”, I happen to bring nothing interesting to the table other than my vagine?

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

:”Mkaaay so what you are telling me here is that as a “platonic friend”, I happen to bring nothing interesting to the table other than my vagine?”

No. Your vaginas aren’t really all that valuable.

As I said in the post, women have something to offer. However, as friends, they have nothing to offer that men can’t offer – and they bring plenty of negatives in addition to it.

The difference to a guy between male friends and female friends is the difference between someone handing you $150 and walking away, and someone else handing you $100 after kicking you in the testicles.

18 04 2008
Dom

I can’t relate. I have a ton of female friends. A few I met as a kid, some from high school, some from college. I don’t really have a problem relating to other women, probably because I have a good relationship with my mother.

But I can generally pick out women with low self-esteem. You know, the self-hating ones who claim to hate all women because they really hate themselves. I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Anon- I feel you, sorta. All of my closests girls are ‘soft and pink’ with variying streaks of ‘hard and black’. I haven’t worn pants or shorts in 4 years, but I don’t waste time discussing fashion unless I am actually shopping at that moment or trying to dress for an occasion. The things you said you can’t discuss with your women friends are the things we ALWAYS talk about, plus career goals and boys (from the silly stuff [fantasy weddings] to the important stuff: [dick size]). And we can all drink ANY man under the table, and still look good doing it! You just need to find girlfriends like yourself, is all.

This whole conversation , coupled with how sweet and WONDERFUL I smell today, is making me love being a girl so much! I am about to go stand in the mirror and twirl in my skirt! BRB.

18 04 2008
Anonymiss

@ Mrs. Epps,

Girrrrrl…One of my friends is like that. Damn she’s insecure. She’s a petite chick with no T&A and she gets insecure around me and our other women friends who are fuller figured.

We worked at the same job back in college, and some cretin greeted me but was talking to my breasts and I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond. You know we women just love that kind of attention *Rolls eyes* Anyway, Insecure Friend said “I don’t need big boobs and a big booty. I got a pretty smile.” I was like “Did I say anything about your bird chest and flat ass? Nope. So what was your point in saying that?” And she was dumbfrounded.

Thank God she’s married now cuz she’s quite the attention whore.

18 04 2008
Anmarie

“but its all good my man found it cool when we 1st met and stumbled across my “Ass Parade” DVD”

I;m pretty sure that’s why you’re married now, LOL. I had a male friend tell me 2 weeks ago, that if could have several wives one would be like me and the other like Trina. Which I’m sure meant: “Start acting like Trina so i can fuck you.” but whatever.

“damn I told on myself again ahha”

Honesty is the greatest thing on the planet. Please live your life! 😀

18 04 2008
voodoobooty

Chris you ain’t evah lied! Every male friend I have ever had has just waited for me to be between boyfriends to bust a move. Some even 10 years. Brothas will wait . . .

These women who talk about females who bring too much drama just happen to have the wrong friends, if you hang out with women who will steal your man and compete with you over men, wrong friends. I prefer women and gay men (where my gays at?) as friends, platonic males friends are truly on that bullshit! i can easily be one of the guys, but I like being a woman and i don’t need to impress these fools with my down-to-earthablity (fully aware this is not a word).

@anonymiss – girl you need some intellectual friends, who are these 7th graders calling you geeky? i do have an IQ requirement, i will not be friends with people who do not read and have no clue about the political climate in the world – sorry i can talk about shoes with anyone! I agree some women are just plain wack, those are not my sisters, i am not going to engage them in any real way, but I can’t really participate in that real deep down woman bashing, it just feels wrong.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOL@ attention whore…your friend and my friend should get together and have drinks Anonymiss. And on top of her low-self esteem she date dudes that treat her like shit. her last boyfriend who she was with for almost 5 yrs. abused her metally, emotionally and physiaclly. This dude was a real assclown. He would talk down to her in public they would beat each other up. fight all the time, everyother day i would get a call from her crying saying he hit her and shit and me being like her little sister wanted to kick his white ass(go figure). What made it worse was he slept with all her female friends too except me ofcourse thats just fucked up. Like dude was a real prick he asked her if he could have sex with me on valentine’s day and this needy ass bitch had the nerve to ask me if I would do it for her so he wont leave her..SMH my words to her exactly : WHAT THE FUCK I LOOK LIKE YOUR HOE”!

18 04 2008
voodoobooty

sista toldja you is a fool and i love ya! i’m about to go and twirl my skirt and sniff myself as i do it too! love love love being a woman! and i like your friends, they sound a lot like mine, hard and black, with a little perfume, high liquor tolerance, low bullshit tolerance.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Voodoobooty-they sound a lot like mine, hard and black, with a little perfume, high liquor tolerance, low bullshit tolerance= Mrs.Epps

18 04 2008
Anmarie

Anonymiss people who don’t think past their ass come in male and female variety, I’ve met plenty of men that were pretty but dumb. Damn the other day i met this dude that was so super super fine. Exchanged numbers talked on the phone geese it was like talking to box of bricks or a box of dildos. Heart breaking the man was fine, but I couldn’t do it.

18 04 2008
Anonymiss

@ VoodooBooty,

LOL! I swear, I tell my BF about this and he’ll say “It’s OK to have trivial convos.” And I’m like “But damn! All the time?”

Yeah, I need to find more like-minded women. I thought I found one in my coworker friend but God is she a catty bitch. I hate negative energy. Like I could look at another woman that’s attractive and/or well-dressed and not have to size her up and think “Bitch think she cute.”

18 04 2008
Anmarie

Mrs. Epps that’s a really fucked up story. Damn that;s fucked up.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

“Anyway, Insecure Friend said “I don’t need big boobs and a big booty. I got a pretty smile.” I was like “Did I say anything about your bird chest and flat ass? Nope. So what was your point in saying that?” And she was dumbfrounded.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHA! That is mad pathetic! I could see if she told it to herself in her head, to try and cheer herself up because she has a bird chest and flat ass, but for her to SAY it to you? I would have grabbed my chest and added “Well, everybody smiles at my pretty boobs!”

18 04 2008
benjie

i have been guilty of saying this before.
but this was before i started meeting mature females that i wanted to hang out with.
(i STILL only really have 2 close female friends. i just got rid of most of the male ones too. there were too many times that they had me trolling for ass for them)

i agree with most of the comments. the main reason women dont hang with women is because of the insecurities involved. i also had a uber skinny friend (who isn’t much now…karma’s great) who used to argue me down about how big jawns are haters. thats why she didn’t wanna hang out with them, talk to them, associate…period. mostly i believe that when she went out she was just pissed that no one wanted her number.

same girl exclaimed loudly in the club once
“THIS PLACE MUST BE FULL OF FAGGOTS CAUSE NO ONE AIN’T TALK TO ME YET. WE GOTTA GO”

18 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

I agree with Sister Toldja – “I don’t really get along with fe-males”
Usually the company you keep is a reflection of one’s self anyway. And when it comes to friends, quality over quantity.
but I do think that if a girl is socialized around males, more than females, she’ll be more comfortable around males in general, which is a form of insecurity I guess. And like Anonymiss said, I’m not a soft and pink type of woman either and I tend to enjoy “less girly” things.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Anmarie- Very true story.. I have so many story over the past 10 yrs about this chick, I could write a whole blog full of crap about her its so sad. I swear girl hasn’t been happy a day in her damn life. But I had to take a break from her negative vibe because I’m a happy person most of the time and she just UHHhhh. Especially from what happened between us at her place. Ho wanted to get drunk with a bunch of her “guy friends” and we start talking about sexuality and stuff and I dunno what happened but the convo turned to who had better boobs me or her and everyone said me and she was pissseeeedd that i was getting all the attention once again and decided to swing her fist at me and scratched me on my kneck like she was some fuckin feline. Being the person that I am(watches to much UFC and wrestling) I grab her fist in mid air kick her in the back of her knee and push her ass to the ground and put my knee in her back like I was 5-0 hahha. So yea I dont take no SHIT.

18 04 2008
Anmarie

Wow, My friends are cool, flat, busty, big, little, insecure, or proud. I love them.

on that note, I’m out.

18 04 2008
Esquire

Mrs. Epps and Sister:

We would have a blast cause my drink of choice is a beer (Im a cheap date) or some brown liquor, but there is a side of me who likes hormonal things like HGTV and I loooove my Kitchen Aid mixer. I will fight over a Cowboys game and we sit behind the mound at every Atlanta (insert racially discrimantory name) game we get the chance to. But I will burn up an outlet mall and leave me alone when Girlfriends comes on.

Man bashing aint my thing, buy you a fuck em dress or a good book and keep it movin. I have my own family and problems. My husband and I have an understanding, we dont bring outside ish into our house…that negativity will kill a family.

And you probably outgrew your old friends, its okay every once and a while to revisit your “wild” days, but I prefer the nice quiet boring yet fulfilling life Ive got now. Give me a good debate and some popcorn…its ON. lol

18 04 2008
Anonymiss

@ Mrs. Epps,
Oh my. That’s just awful.

@ Anmarie,
I know. I’ve met some dumb men in college. That’s when I started to realize that having a college education doesn’t make you smart or interesting. I’m saying though — he couldn’t at least be a jumpoff?

@Sister Toldja,
LMAO!!!

18 04 2008
DIG

Sista tolja that is sooo ture. If a woman says that she has no female friends because they have too much drama and are bitches, then most and morae than likely she is the bitch that no one wants to leave their man around. She is also the chick that most than likely steals things and starts the fights at the club. Normally it starts off like this ” What she lookin at” and “Btich say what now”..Please I stay with my wolfpack, they always have my back.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Surely@ Esquire! I am cheap too. me and my soon to be hubster are strictly beer/malt liquor drinkers for right now. One day we will have our fully stocked bar, but shit we just moved to our house a few months ago so we got bills out the ass for right now hahah. But yes I think you right i grew out of my old friends and I think thats why I hang out with mostly my hubby’s friends. Atleast they can hold a convo that consist of real shit that is going on in the world rather is beyonce and jay-z really married(who give a flying flip) But yes I must say chillin with the hubbster is way more fun and less expensive than hang with my girls sometimes. All they want to do is spend money on high priced drinks that barely have liquor in it(you know some bartenders are stingy with the liquor). Im like ok umm I have to pay my mortgage soon and the light bill. PAss

18 04 2008
Esquire

@Admiral Furious…

I will say this: Male Associates: MANY MANY MANY, Female Associates: TONS TONS TONS

REAL FRIENDS aka, giiiirl I will have my husband whip his ass, lets go to the mall, lets talk on the phone, cry on my shoulder, you are my childs godmother, is there a booger in my nose, oh no that bitch didnt look at you funny, I may lose my law license over this favor for you friends=4 or 5.

There is nothing wrong with business or work relationships, when you run for office, I will contribute to your campaign, hey lets go to happy hour associates of all races and of both genders. But as far as someone I really truly truly call a friend (this is excluding cousins, those brought up as your family) they are few and far between…and happy to be my gender. Nothing to do with insecurity on my part or my hubby’s. This is just how it happened.

But I am 28 and I am interested in daycare, weddings, decorating, and flowers. I dont give a damn about lil weezy’s new song or rims, Jordans, or whatever else it is (besides boxing, baseball, and football) that 20 year old men find cool.

18 04 2008
Esquire

Mrs Epps,
We just passed the free pour bill in SC. BIGGG Mistake. Mini bottles are the way to go…its a guarenteed amount of liquor in your cup.

And find you some homegirls to be happy and excited and girly about your wedding. It IS a big deal. We as black people should be more excited about a couple taking vows. sheesh.

p.s. your house will be worth it when you get those taxes back. lol

18 04 2008
Esquire

BTW…

and happy to be my gender.

should read: HAPPEN to be my gender. lol Im typing while billing at work…let me get back to the plantation…

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Oh no they didn’t pass a dumbass bill like that! SMH and Mini bottles are the ish don’t have to share a dman thing damn RELOADERS!! haha And see I really do need to find some new girlfriends that arent HATERS and yes black ppl need to be more excited about a couple taking vows. Its annoying when a black woman are you pregnant when you tell her your engaged. WTF so I gotta be pregnant to be getting married? Which makes no sense since we have all these “baby mama’s” walking around unwedded. Damn shame really. All these children out of wed-lock. Im not saying that its worng to have children while your not married but atleast think about it. Im tired of seeing these damn ppl on Maury and shows like his with women looking for their baby daddies and have 5 dudes up there for one kid. Like why in the french toast did they make condoms for??!! hmm i think i found my next subject for my new blog.

18 04 2008
Grimm

Alot of the things MrsEpps and Anonymiss said ARE the reasons why girls claim they don’t have girl friends, so its not just because they are “B’s, sluts, and whores”. Women, even those who you have known for years, can be so jealous and attention whoring. They don’t know how to be happy for you when you accomplish something new (graduate, engagement, bought a house, baby etc). And those friends are the ones that you usually grow out of once you near your twenties.
Once you get older you will probably have one childhood friend, a work friend, and a few from college. Its not outrageous to me that many women keep male friends. The more fabulous you are the more “Queens” you will have adoring you! But in all honesty, my best friend is a guy (And yes he has a crush my family teases him about), and I love all of my VERY gay male friends. Gay pride is the highlight of the summer.

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@Esquire

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having friends who are all from the same gender… and if I implied so, I do apologize. Having a diverse set of friends (genders, races, creeds, etc) can only come as beneficial as long as chivalry is alive and well in your heart and the heart of your significant other (if you have one). It was just a general statement. 🙂

But again, having a group of friends that comprise of mostly males or females is like having a group of friends that are only black or only white. Though it may seem sexist or racist from an outsider… the intent is not to discriminate at all; instead to bring together a group of individuals who share common goals and interests.

18 04 2008
Beautifldreamr7

I have been guilty of saying that in the past but only because…my ‘friends’ were all male! They were my brother’s friends who just adopted me because I was too evil and psychotic to make any friends of my own.

Now, I don’t have friends, period. I have my female acquaintances that I hang out with and my male acquaintances that I hang out with. The closest thing to actual friends that I have are my two female cousins. We all admit that we’re only friends with each other because no one else can put up with us. We know and accept this.

I would be more than happy to hang with females if they weren’t so turned off by the fact that I am a total bitch, I give my HONEST opinion, I don’t care about any of the stuff they care about and generally am still slightly psychotic and evil. I would hang with men too if they would accept the above facts as well. They usually don’t. They really aren’t all that different.

18 04 2008
maya

I have maybe 3 guy friends. One of whom is like my brother (although I think if I weren’t dating someone when we met we would’ve tried to scoop me), one of whom I became close with because he was cool with my ex (although I think his girlfriend thinks I’m tryna put the moves on him), and one of whom is like my brother-light. He’s immature so he’s always talking reckless and saying “sit on my face,” and whatnot. I think if I actually let him hit he’d do it just because. I had this other guy friend who was cool, but I knew he was waiting for the slip up of the guy I was dealing with. He’d stay asking “why do you still deal with him,” or randomly asking me how he was (although they didn’t know each other) just to see what I’d say. His “friendship” status was well known – particularly one drunk night when he called and said (no bullshit) “Where are you at? I’m trying to come see you right now. I just want to eat you, yo. Just let me do it. Tell me where you’re at. Like, you don’t have to do anything, I just want to eat you.”

My life is fucking ridiculous.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

bwhahaha@ slightly psychotic and evil

18 04 2008
maya

@ Beautifldreamr:

Girl, there are plenty of women out there like that. In fact, that’s all my circle of friends are comprised of – that’s why we get along so great. I mean, clearly we’re not bitches for no reason, but we’ve been known to end people’s careers (figuratively, though we came close to running an operation on someone once). Being a “bitch” isn’t about having a nasty attitude 24/7, but we’ve been known to check people’s monkey asses when they fall outta line. It’s particularly hilarious because none of us are over 5’5″. Actually, we have the most inappropriate asshole humor (that’s why we Stan for Chris’ site) because we say shit like this ALL the time. As for men, I put them into two groups – the one who wanna be in control and RUNNNN with that shit, and the ones who wanna feel like they’re in control but secretly hope you put them in their place. (some) Men like to be chastised.*

*I didn’t mean that in an S&M way.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

maya-particularly one drunk night when he called and said (no bullshit) “Where are you at? I’m trying to come see you right now. I just want to eat you, yo. Just let me do it. Tell me where you’re at. Like, you don’t have to do anything, I just want to eat you.”

I had a guy friend call me up on my old nextelchurping me asking the same shit. He felt mighty dumb when my ex responded back saying ” umm dude your on speaker phone and the whole party just heard you and oh yea mother fucker you asked ma girl what”!!!! it was hilarious cuz him and my ex were cool like shit.

18 04 2008
Esquire

Admiral,

I see your point…

Ill make a distinction then, I have friends of both sexes. But my CLOSEST, most dear to my heart are black females like me. They already know me, they understand completely, there’s not so much teaching and explaining like I have to do with some of my associates. I had one white girl as a bridesmaid whom I care for, but I cant say I would bend over for her like I would my real homies.

I am just lucky that they are all cultured and we still are able to bring different things to our relationship.

@Mrs. Epps.
negros here voted for the free pour thinking they would get more, until all they got was more chaser. Too bad they cant take it back. I will say I was slightly annoyed, but I dont even go out enough to be that mad about it. Out to eat, Im usually drinking wine or a brew so the liquor doesnt matter. BTW: The “are you preggers question” when you are engaged, is as annoying as it is common in our community. So sad. If they dont ask it, they will just spread the rumor anyway..lol

18 04 2008
Machete

My guy “friends” have come and gone, but my (few) girlfriends have withstood the test of time. “Bros before hoes” – male friends are flaky and especially if there’s a group of them, they will always stick/band together and drop you like a hot potato … and like the post goes, probably are after one thing… your (non-hater) girls will always be there. Sad I haven’t met more girls like that.

In the mean time, I do care about my ‘pet rocks’. Some of them need some looking after, some need advice, and some actually do need company (of the non-sexual nature). If I am wrong about my pet rock’s intentions, then its all good, I still derive the feel-good feelings any pet owner gets from petting their pet.

18 04 2008
shabooty

Women are life-support systems for pussies

$$$

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Anmarie- Anmarie (15:15:44) :

“Damn the other day i met this dude that was so super super fine. Exchanged numbers talked on the phone geese it was like talking to box of bricks or a box of dildos. Heart breaking the man was fine, but I couldn’t do it”

Um, what was his name and number? Did he live in BK? I need a man like that right about now. We can have a great relationship and just skip the talking part. Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos! 🙂

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Women are life-support systems for pussies

I was wondering where you were today…

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LOL me too@ Esquire I dont go out enough to be bothered by it. I mostly drink at home anyways. AINT nothing better than getting shit faced at your own house. You dont have to worry about crap except if needed making it to the bathroom in time to throw up(which has been a long time for me) I have a high alcohol tolerance, I need at least 4-5 drinks to actully feel any type of buzz haha. But yea girllllll i wanted to punch that old bag in her face for asking such nonsense, but I dont really blame her. Young ppl get married for the dumbest reasons now a days. Me personally, getting married for love, respect of each other and he’s like my best friend! among other things that happen at night(baw chicka wa wa) bwahahah.. 🙂

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Sister Toldja-Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos!

Oh my…I heard that!

“You gotta lick it before you stick you gotta work it before you jerk it”
-Jamie Foxx(Bootycall)

hahahahhaha

18 04 2008
imaG

After reading the post I have to say you see this mostly in ghetto people, white and black allt he same, i can’t stand it. good post c-dub.

18 04 2008
WayCoOL

hmmmm, evidently im ugly because the only thing my male friends do is rick roll me thirty times a fucking day. beware! there is now a rick roll phone#

goddamn u rick astley

18 04 2008
18 04 2008
WayCoOL

ahahahahahaahahaha

18 04 2008
zoso

Hmm, sorry can’t jump on the bandwagon but some of the responses were great. I pretty much agree with Machete on this one.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

stuffblackpeoplehate (17:30:46) :

Women are life-support systems for pussies

I was wondering where you were today…

My guess is detention.

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“My guy “friends” have come and gone, but my (few) girlfriends have withstood the test of time.”

Wise man say – ‘The only thing your failed relationships all have in common is you.’ The only thing more amusing than ‘friends’ are so-called ‘victims’.

“Bonus if he is as efficent as a box of dildos!”

Ew.

“hmmmm, evidently im ugly because the only thing my male friends do is rick roll me thirty times a fucking day.”

Rick Roll is a verb now? Somebody please explain this to me.

18 04 2008
maya

*dead* at “detention” LMAO.

This is hilarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhcgd1Go7u4

18 04 2008
london

my friends are in layers… like onions..
my three best-ies are sooo very dear to me and are white and mixed heritage.. and female.. women have the best laughs and heart to hearts with their own sex… period..
the ‘skin’ outside this is mixed.. but predominately black.. and female – there are few males.. most of which are gay and black…
aquaintances however are male or female and of ‘any hue’.. and most sexual orientations.. living in london does that to you..
i have no problem with my straight male friends… they do not want to sleep with me.. i am far too fierce for them… i slay those punks on a daily basis..

18 04 2008
london

rick roll.. what is a rick roll?

18 04 2008
maya

Ouch, Chris. That hurts.

And yes, can someone please ‘splain the Rick Roll thing. I don’t get it.

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“I’m assuming I’m the 8th of the 8”

Damn right, and thank God for that. Otherwise I woulda vomited all over your ravioli.

18 04 2008
WayCoOL

whaaat?! where you been chris?! its not just the ill fated internet click meme…people rick roll basketball games, rallys, parties, and, as i stated before, the frickin phone number (772-257-4501)… so yea, the term has pretty much infiltrated the spoken language

the sad part is that i now know all the words =(

18 04 2008
Dom

Mrs. Epps—P-R-E-A-C-H!!! I was talking to one of my few friends last night who hasn’t joined the Baby Mamma Train about the same damn thing! The first thing she asked me was, “well why do you care if they’re pregnant and not married, I mean do you want to have a baby?” Sometimes with women, its not out of jealousy that we say the things we do. Sometimes, its about having (what used to be) common sense!

Two of my closest friends are having babies with people they knew for LESS THAN A MONTH before getting preggers! It seems like every day I find out about another friend who’s unmarried and having a baby! Its mind-boggling to me. Although it might be judgemental, I feel like we won’t really have that much in common for long.

Anywhoo, when you write that one up in your blog, let me know. I’ll be the first one reading!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Rick Roll http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Its just a joke were someone send you this link to watch but its a trick and all these pop up boxes come up singing that song(link above) while the music video plays. My friend did it to me one day ti was dumb as hell and annoying because every box you X out of another one will come up showing the lyrics of the song.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

BTW the link i posted is not the trick its just the song..so dont worry 🙂

18 04 2008
maya

As I said in the post, women have something to offer. However, as friends, they have nothing to offer that men can’t offer – and they bring plenty of negatives in addition to it.

The difference to a guy between male friends and female friends is the difference between someone handing you $150 and walking away, and someone else handing you $100 after kicking you in the testicles.

True, and not so true, Chris. It depends. If your female friend is one of those annoying wenches who secretly has a crush on you – absolutely. If your female friend really is just your friend, then she’ll probably find all your sexual exploits both hilarious and personally entertaining. An unintended negative occurs if you and said friend are really tight and it hurts your relationship with other women, which usually occurs when the third party is insecure.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

surely@ Dom I’ll let you know. right now i am finishing my blog about “Insecure Friends”. It’s a must after reading Chris’ blog.

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Machete…

I wonder why your male friends have deserted you. They seem to all come and go? Perhaps theres something you’re doing (or not doing) that drives them away? Maybe its like a computer without the ability properly follow and execute instructions?

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Can I do the Rick Roll think with something else? Cause I feel half of the fun would be lost to the fact that I, nor my friends, do not know who Rick Astley is. I suggest this song: http://youtube.com/watch?v=D9cQOcAC_K8

Chris! Don’t “ew” me, birthday twin! That hurts. It wasn’t a graphic statement, just a quality control thing. Everyone wants merchandise that works.

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“True, and not so true, Chris. It depends. If your female friend is one of those annoying wenches who secretly has a crush on you – absolutely. If your female friend really is just your friend, then she’ll probably find all your sexual exploits both hilarious and personally entertaining. An unintended negative occurs if you and said friend are really tight and it hurts your relationship with other women, which usually occurs when the third party is insecure.”

No.

Even the ‘coolest’ of female friends will get mad if you:

1. Ditch your plans with them for booty
2. Ditch your plans with them for no good reason at all
3. Punch them in the spine because you hear techno music
4. Say ferociously mean things about them in front of their faces
5. Draw a penis on her face when she passes out drunk
6. Try to engage her in a nut-kicking contest
7. Forget her birthday
8. Drive your car very fast and very recklessly for no particular reason
9. For xmas buy a gag gift for one friend but don’t buy her shit
10. Fart

Doing all these things with male friends, on the other hand, only strengthens the relationship.

God Bless Manhood.

18 04 2008
Toyz

My 4 closest ride-or-die homies are female, but generally I would say that outside of them, the majority of my friends are male. I dont think that this is because i hate myself or my gender or that its not possible for me to have a lot of woman friends, I just think females hold other females to a higher standard than males. A female associate (ie superficial friend) that does something trifling to me would really piss me off, because I think women should have the utmost respect for each other – there are enough men out there mistreating us, no need to help them out. But in terms of a male associate doing something trifling: 1. he’s probably less likely to even do something trifling in the first place, cuz that might lower his chances of sleeping with me (if the he-just-wants-to-f**k-me theory is correct) and 2. i know that men are simple and sometimes that unintentionally results in what a woman would call trifling ass behavior (but most men would call “Tuesday”). Intentionally trifling people of either gender get cut off with no looking back. I think that women who refuse to make ANY female friends are the ones that really have something strange going on.

18 04 2008
london

i am very good friends with a lesbian.. my lesbian friend does not want to sleep with me.. we have been friends since before she came out – ie for ever….. it would be like ‘sleeping with my sister’ she has told the girlfriend… to have to get to that conversation my bff has had to deal with some deep sh1t…
i am not going anywhere… and the girlfriend can hang for all i care… no one puts baby in the corner… ha ha ha…
(i have only recently seen that film by the way… and under pain of death… apparently i had not lived until i had seen it… i hated it apart from that line… it kills me..)

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Chris you also forgot… playfully insult their use of generalizations.

18 04 2008
WayCoOL

@ sister

Nah, girl. The rick roll only works with the rick astley song (hence the name “rick” roll)… i think the initial shock of opening the song and seeing/hearing the old 80’s tune and not knowing who or what the fuck it is adds to it!

There is a go-go remix of “never gonna give u up”, though… maybe your friends will dig that? Surprisingly, it actually jumped the party off! ahahahaha

18 04 2008
london

omg.. rick astley.. you should burn in hell…

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

See, I think the whole friends versus non friends debate here applies to everyone altogether. For the most part, men will have more close male friends (though men have a tendency to roam the earth by themselves) while women have more female friends and hold them dear. There exists empirical evidence proving that men and women are not the same and most likely will not engage in close platonic relationships due to these differences. Men have different objectives than women on a social level, and tend to work logically, while women hold different values and prefer to delve into the emotional sector more often. I do NOT say this as a means of insult, but as means of weeding out why men and women gravitate/bond with each other under certain circumstances. Its all about commonality.

We can’t live with each other, we can’t live without each other, and we certainly can’t kill each other.

Regardless, lets all come together and make money. Thats a commonality I think we ALL share and desire.

18 04 2008
Machete

@AF

I used the phrase “come and go” instead of “desert” because it is more fitting. Some of my male friends eventually get girlfriends who take up all their time or ban them from hanging out with me. Some get a crush that is not reciprocated and do not want to be around me anymore period, or until they are over it – which may or may not involve a time consuming, hangout-banning gf. Some vanish when I get a serious bf and re-immerge once I am single. Some just like to hangout once in a blue moon for whatever reason. I do not consider these deep friendships, but they are fun, so I enjoy them while they last, and when they are gone, I do not miss them much. It’s all good…

18 04 2008
maya

No.

Even the ‘coolest’ of female friends will get mad if you:

1. Ditch your plans with them for booty
2. Ditch your plans with them for no good reason at all
3. Punch them in the spine because you hear techno music
4. Say ferociously mean things about them in front of their faces
5. Draw a penis on her face when she passes out drunk
6. Try to engage her in a nut-kicking contest
7. Forget her birthday
8. Drive your car very fast and very recklessly for no particular reason
9. For xmas buy a gag gift for one friend but don’t buy her shit
10. Fart

Doing all these things with male friends, on the other hand, only strengthens the relationship.

I highly disagree. I ditch my friends for peen (male and female) or more occasions than I care to admit to. And, when I am the ditched party, I usually ask for details of the night. I don’t understand what you meant in #3, so I’ll skip that. I usually do #4, so fair is fair. #5 would piss me off, but that’s only because it’s horrendously childish and I hate when people fuck with me when I’m sleeping. #6 would obviously be a one-way thing, seeing as though I don’t have nuts, but being a small girl, I have been more wrestling/pinching/biting/hitting matches than I can remember. It actually makes for really interesting foreplay. #7 – I only really get upset if my parents or very best female friends forget my birthday. I feel like men don’t remember dates well, and that’s why God didn’t give them menstrual cycles. #8 is another thing that kind bothers me from both genders (only because I’ve been in a lot of car accidents. I’m more so pissed off when other people want to drive MY car very fast and recklessly. #9 – I have a general rule about Christmas gifts (birthdays, too) that I don’t give them unless you’re (a) my parents, or (b) someone i’m dating at the time (with at least 2-3 month advance window…so we can start dealing Dec. 1 and you want a gift 24 days later). I don’t get gifts for my siblings, friends, etc. And the only way you might get something for your b-day if you aren’t one of the people who qualify at Christmas is if you’re having an actual event for your birthday. #10 – farting, although gross, is one of those things that some men find amusing. I think body humor is generally gross, however, farting in and of itself isn’t anything to spazabout. (I just realized I’ve never farted in front of a guy before…weird…anyway)

I know plenty of women who are similar in this fashion. Plus, female friends will cook for you and other random, fun, cool helpful shit (although word on the street from my guy friends is that most chicks don’t/can’t cook?? Can anyone vouch for this? )

18 04 2008
WayCoOL

I think friends that u literally grew up with should be exempt from these assumptions, as this is case for ALL of my closest male friends. We were raised together in the same neighborhood, and barring a few incidents ;), we have managed to coexist without drama, sexual tension, and typical male female issues. I think the circumstances of the START of the friendship have a lot to do with issues that could possibly arise and invert those initial feelings or want for the frienship.

18 04 2008
maya

@AF –

I agree. I think is some ways these differences are what can make male/female friendships so cool, because you really get to unpack the mind of the opposite sex. I know if I have an issue with a guy I may be dating, I call my “brother” to give me the real. I swear, the shit that comes out his mouth are things that I’ve never even considered before, but they make so much sense! And it works vice versa. I mean, I think our friendship works because we’re just 100% ourselves in the situation and convos vary incredibly – money, sex, women, men, music, business, politics–whatever. It’s good to have someone who can scale ya back and be like, “stop bitchin’, man up” or in his case, “stop being an asshole,” (even though I’m not the most touchy-feely girl out there.)

18 04 2008
shabooty

This is rehashing a lot of what Chris has said, but i ESP. hate a bitch that invites your ass out to their BIRTHDAY —
and then there are like a dozen ‘yous’ which are occasional male acquaintances/ friends that she’s met one or two times… whom she mass invites, tryin to get free drinks, and whom are all trying to F -her… and cock-block on the others, while she is basking in the b-day glory/attention whoring…., then she gets drunk and then forgets how much of a cunt she acted like, so fuck that shit….
$

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

If that’s true, then you and your friends need to check more than your mitochondrial DNA to figure out your gender if ya know what I’m saying.

As for cooking ability, yes most women can cook…just not well. Chicks are constantly undercooking my fish vagina, which I ALWAYS request medium-well, and still wanting me to call them Emeril fucking Lagasse.

18 04 2008
imaG

well one of my friends ditched us to talk about selena with a bunch of females. And he is sitting there in the room saying Selena is the best movie ever. Right there I realized his penis evaporated, and he automatically grew a va jay jay.

18 04 2008
maya

um. Shabooty…who are these so-called “bitches” that you know? I’ve never heard of such. And don’t front like you aren’t the first one paying for the drank (not “drink,” “drank”) so you can get the draws at the end of the night.

18 04 2008
dteezy

Being friends with a man is like having a pet rock.

LMFAO WTF DAYUM!!!!

this shit is too much!!!!

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Machette…

Thats too bad. It sounds like you need to find more chivalrous people to hang out with. But when you do, I seriously hope that you don’t cross their trust… it can turn around and burn you.

@ Maya…

As for the cooking part, recently I’ve found that there are many women who can cook, and yet others who think they are too good to set themselves in front of a stove. A relative of mine who is four years younger than I and lives in the Los Angeles area, swears that she will never learn to cook. She vows independence, though she still lives at home with her mother while making the big bucks (which in reality isn’t very much at all but seems like it to her since she has no bills whatsoever… I won’t release that number… she is after all family). But then she spouts out that she will find a man who will make all the money, take care of her and her children and she will sit back, relax and make beautiful babies for the rest of her life. She will have a Nanny, a gardener, and a maid (I thought nanny and maid were one in the same) to take care of the house and kids. She’s also the type who spends her whole paycheck on a thousand dollar purse. The sheer and utter hypocrisy in her statement is continuously overly appalling and even more disturbing is that despite the fact that males and females tell her that her moral standards are wrong… she continues to embrace the attitude yet wonder why she’s single. Only in LA? (please don’t hit me Anmarie)

The type of woman described above is what potentially committed men do not want.

18 04 2008
Esquire

Me and the Hubby love to poot. Its a natural release….maybe IM just nasty. Why are women so icky about natural things. We dont poot in public, but in the privacy of our home, its almost a contest….
“God DAMN, is that YOU…two points baby”

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ imaG- Did his penis evaporate, or did he get some ass that night and the rest of yall didnt?

18 04 2008
maya

If that’s true, then you and your friends need to check more than your mitochondrial DNA to figure out your gender if ya know what I’m saying.

LMAO. You don’t have to have a penis to be “normal,” Chris. I mean, we have our emotional moments (trust me), but I’m not trying turn my emotions into a lifestyle. I’m temperamental and moody enough as it is without worrying about why some dude (especially one I’m not even boning) forgot my birthday. Women are funny to me because we have a tendency to get caught up in situations (and people) that really don’t matter in the long run. I’m making a conscious decision to eradicate that. No one likes a whiner. I’d rather be out with my friends for my birthday getting free drinks from strangers at the bar, hoping they don’t have GHB or Rohypnol in them, inadvertently drunk dialing and leaving inappropriate messages for my suitors that will perhaps lead to the acquisition of peen, and coming home to pass out.

18 04 2008
Lindsay

#7 – I only really get upset if my parents or very best female friends forget my birthday. I feel like men don’t remember dates well, and that’s why God didn’t give them menstrual cycles.

This, Maya, is why you’re one of my very good friends.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Esquire- No, no, HELL NO!

I don’t know why women are so eeked out about those things, but we are. As far as any man needs to know:

-I do not pass gas
-My menstrual cycle only consists of crankiness and just a lack of desire for sex
-My eyebrows naturally grow this neatly
-My legs and underarms are naturally bare
-I’m just good at that

18 04 2008
Dom

I have to disagree on the farting front. I used to fart all the time and my bf would get super-pissed. To me, it just meant I was comfortable around him.

18 04 2008
Deviant

@ Sista Toldja

“We are like platonic soulmates, the same person in a lot of ways. But he DOES get a little jealous sometimes when I flirt with men I don’t know in public. I think he’s more territorial than he is intersted in me though.”

Yeah… Ok. I think you might be a little delusional. And I think you know I’m right.

Now I have to go back and read everybody else’s comments…

18 04 2008
maya

She vows independence…

That doesn’t make you independent. It makes you hungry.

I LOVE to cook. Well, not love, but I do enjoy it. And people sleep on me all the time with it. In college, my male friends (who hold to Chris’ theory about male intentions) def. had me frying chicken every week. I hate women who think that in order to be “modern” you have to reject things that are traditionally woman’s work. I especially like cooking for people I’m dating. As much as I’m an asshole, my friends always tease me about being so domestic.

18 04 2008
WayCoOL

@ AF
“She’s also the type who spends her whole paycheck on a thousand dollar purse. ”

If her paycheck is only a G, she’s not making THAT much, but at the same time, she has no bills and bears no real responsibilities, so i dont see a problem with her spending her money on material things if she so chooses. Her peeps are cool with her living at home (i assume, because she is there) and aren’t pressed to get her out { im guessing she is under 30 (?) }… soo i say give her time.

18 04 2008
Grimm

@AF
No it’s not only in LA. I have two NYC golddigger friends that are sisters. We met this brazilian guy at a club we frequent and he offered to fly us out to Brazil to catch a ride on his yatch. They went (i didn’t my BF would spaz).
Before they left, they had me in Century 21 trying to find luggage that looked expensive (but was cheap because rent was just due). We sifted through the isles for 45 minutes comparing luggage that made her look “rich” so when he spend $$ on them he would’t feel bad “because they have their own $$$”.
That isn’t an isolated incident. My old landlord (i moved b/c of this) was so mad that they didn’t pay their rent for 2 months b/c they spent all of their $$ in Brazil pretending to be independant.
They veiw EVERY man as a business transaction. Its hilarious. They also want a maid, chef, “allowance” account, etc. from their future sugar daddy. BTW one of them is already married to some rich guy in Haiti she NEVER sees.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Esquire-Me and the Hubby love to poot. Its a natural release….maybe IM just nasty. Why are women so icky about natural things. We dont poot in public, but in the privacy of our home, its almost a contest….
“God DAMN, is that YOU…two points baby

Bwhahahaha me too girl me too. I’m not even affraid to say it!! My man dosent get grossed out. He might laugh and be like nasty stinky booty. But shit he farts why can’t I. Now as far as farting in PUBLIC oh noooooO that horrible.

Sister Toldja–I do not pass gas
-My menstrual cycle only consists of crankiness and just a lack of desire for sex
-My eyebrows naturally grow this neatly
-My legs and underarms are naturally bare
-I’m just good at that

Girl maybe for someone you dont know or just dating dont need ot know the nitty gritty but if you live with you man he will eventually find out you secrets.

My man found out all the above you listed aint true about me..even though he cant even tell if I shaved my legs or not.

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ WayCool…

My point was not centered or made to focus in on her irresponsible money management; instead to describe the type of woman a man will not want or (unlike me) would treat like dirt. If you justify this attitude, well, I truly feel sorry for you. Having a warped sense of reality will lead not nothing but an epic failure, and though I do feel some reserved sympathy for her, I do not pity her completely since many people have told her about herself. I cannot completely blame her because her mother somewhat encourages that behavior.

@ Grimm…

I wrote Only in LA with a question mark to deem my sarcasm. Sorry, I guess I wasn’t clear enough. But I found WAY more of them in LA than in DC. But as Anmarie said… enough about LA.

People who are not in touch with reality and are too lazy to actively better themselves with simple things like (cooking) will ALWAYS get the gas face from me… regardless of gender, race, or creed.

18 04 2008
Esquire

lol @ Sister!

Girl you are a mess!

@ Dom: But for real, I think it depends on the guy, some men perfer to think we dont do those things! lol. Im not au natural or anything but, dang, sometimes we would just be in a better mood if we pooted and got rid of that gas kicking our ass.

I am a lady, I dont fart I poot. and if we are in public, I politely excuse myself to the bathroom and poot in there, either way its coming out. damn that.

@maya: PREACH!!! You can be a modern woman and STILL cook, have kids, bake cookies, tie your mans tie, clean up, balance the checkbook, make up the bed, and go to work! Women are built to multi task… I never got giving up career for family or vice versa. All you need is organization. Martha Stewart aint got nothing on most black mothers. (single AND married)

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Yo Dom Im almost done with that blog just click my name and it will take you to my blogs… or click the link below.

http://mrsepssrantontheworld.blogspot.com/

18 04 2008
Deviant

I can’t even read anymore. All the random girl chat between Sista Toldja and Mrs. Epps is making me feel icky.

I am a woman and I don’t get along with females that well. (I am neither a bitch nor a slut.)

But I also don’t have a lot of males friends either.

I do prefer the company of men over women. Because men have better fun. With women, there tends to be Attitude involved at almost every attempt at a good time. At some point, some bullshit will pop off and then I won’t be enjoying myself anymore.

@ Chris – FYI: Whenever you see a group of 6 or 7 women together, trust that they are not all friends. Usually they are overlapping pairs of friends and friends of friends (like a multiple Venn diagram)… And 5 of them hate each other but they’re too fake* to admit it.

*Yet another reason I don’t get along with females.

18 04 2008
Machete

“It sounds like you need to find more chivalrous people to hang out with.But when you do, I seriously hope that you don’t cross their trust… it can turn around and burn you.” – AF

Errr how would finding more “chivalrous” ppl (or guys – since my post was about my male friendships) stop all the events I described in my previous post from happening? My pet rocks are free to have gf’s and spend all their time with them (oh please sometimes I actually pray for it – for everyone’s sake!) and they are also free to come and go out of my life as they please. It’s like a symbiotic relationship – where we both benefit (at least I do =) ), advice on the opposite sex, home cooked meals/bbqs, fun company, interesting debates, networking… the list goes on. What’s not to like? And I still have my few solid gf’s to fall back on for serious, trust-based stuff. Penis-totin pet rocks cannot be trusted! HA! No exchage of trust there… hence no need to warn me about being burned.

18 04 2008
Esquire

Admiral,

if I had your email I would send this info that way, but I dont, so…
Tell your friend that a purse will not ensure she is comfortable in 30 years. Put that extra money in a CD or a money market account and then watch the money roll in. Tell her to get a portfolio and ball out in 5 years. Tell her to buy a house. I just like to see black people who have extra money use it wisely. She can also go to thebusinesswomans blog. she has good advice on there. Suze Orman will help a sista out too.

…back to the discussion…

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Oh pish, Deviant. Just because I breathe sugar and spice and all things nice, doesn’t mean I can’t take a few shots and burn an L with you too. Do you at least discuss peen sizes?

18 04 2008
maya

Deviant:

It sounds to me that you know a lot of women who are still in a high school frame of mind.

I say that because I, too, thought that same way once. Then I realized that the people that were in my inner most circle were still acting like they were getting out at 3 o’clock. It’s not important that you have a lot of friends, just good quality ones, but I think everyone knows that. When I pledged, I was in a line of 25, clearly I only bang with about 4 of them. Even in the bonds of “sisterhood” you can see why women can’t get along, but it is what it is. It is very true what you say about friendship overlaps in large parties of women, and yes, there are a lot of fake people out there, but that’s def not everyone. In fact, I’ve come across lots of women I don’t get along with ’cause I don’t buy into the fakery and the fuckery; I’m headstrong, so I can be hard to deal with. It can be very possible (though not necessarily easy) to find close female friends…but you have to make sure they accept (not like, just accept) your bad with your good. Me and my friends argue a lot, but we’re really just that real with each other, and I would go to war over any of them.

18 04 2008
shabooty

ew i don’t want my broad to be bustin ass next to me….i wanna pretend she doesn’t even have a digestive system…never farts, never shits, nothing.
id sacrifice comfortableness for my ability to still be able to get it up for the bizzle.
$

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Esquire

I agree wholeheartedly. However Louis Vitton is more attractive to her than Michael Bloomberg (spelling). Its far easier said than done.

You see, it is particularly hard for the rest of my extended family and I to watch her freefall to failure because of general mentality that all of us have been raised to have in regards to money and business. Unfortunately, her mother has missed the boat on that whole lecture (or chooses to believe that its unnecessary) and therefore refutes all attempts to point her child in the right direction. Chris and I were just speaking on this very subject earlier and I admitted that I truly wish that sooner rather than later she turn around her whole attitude on life (she doesn’t date black dudes either) and get on the track for future wealth bearing. Unfortunately, it is highly doubted that such will occur.

@ Machete

The trust factor goes both ways. Inability to follow discrete instructions could lead to an epic failure… or worse. Men do not like people who cannot follow instructions. Now I do see your point regarding your benefit to having friends, but at the same time it could be perceived as fake or fair weather. Once again I encourage you to reevaluate both sides of the spectrum.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Deviant- Aww so sad…and hahaha not tryna make you feel all icky(which btw is a girly word) coming from a women who claims she enjoys the company of men more than women. But i feel ya though Men do have more fun and are sometimes more fun to be around period. 🙂

http://mrsepssrantontheworld.blogspot.com/

18 04 2008
maya

“Oh pish, Deviant. Just because I breathe sugar and spice and all things nice, doesn’t mean I can’t take a few shots and burn an L with you too. Do you at least discuss peen sizes?”

@ Sister Toldja:

Why do I feel like I already know you??? LMAO. You’re definitely “a friend in my head.”

18 04 2008
maya

And why do I feel like people who use the word “female” are unnecessarily cynical or bitter. I hate that shit.

18 04 2008
Machete

@Deviant – nice post

Women can be quite catty and hold grudges to no end – no matter which point in life they are in. (No doubt there are exceptions to that)but I honestly think that the only reason I still have a few close gf’s is because we don’t see each other too often, and aren’t in each others space. My former female roomates are another story… it was almost like our periods synced up and all hell broke lose with someone always being subtly pissed at someone else for some obscure reason or event that correlated to another event that happened 3 months ago.

18 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

This has been an interesting thread to read; I agree with certain points made by Sister Toldja, Maya, and Deviant. Personally, it’s quality over quantity (I think I said that earlier), so any large group of women together obviously aren’t all friends – impossible.
What about examining why some women are more comfortable with men? I believe it is our traumas that shape us, i.e. a Black man dating “outside” because he’s tired of being dogged by Black women. He may be traumatized, doesn’t mean he hates Black women. To me the same logic could apply to women-women friendships.

18 04 2008
Deviant

@ Sista Toldja – I will entertain all conversations of a sexual nature. And please stop saying “peen”… It’s so… I don’t know… But a “peen” does not sound like anything I’d want near me.

@ Mrs. Epps – I do have my girly moments. They’re just few and far between. 😉

@ Maya – I KNOW some childish, catty women but they’re not my friends and I limit my exposure to their foolishness. The problem is there seems to be more of them than there are women I’d actually like to hang around.

18 04 2008
maya

@ Deviant:

Okay, good. Yes, real friends are hard to come by. And women are annoying. But real people do exist!

18 04 2008
Deviant

@ Machete – I agree. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think that some of my friends and I are actually closer now that we don’t see each other every single day.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

You have an interesting and good point there@ knatrualbeauty-What about examining why some women are more comfortable with men? I believe it is our traumas that shape us, i.e. a Black man dating “outside” because he’s tired of being dogged by Black women. He may be traumatized, doesn’t mean he hates Black women. To me the same logic could apply to women-women friendships.

It is possible that some women had bad experiences with female friends or just in general. Maybe when they were younger as well because when I was growing up in D.C. on my street there were no girls what so ever in my neighborhood/building! All my bestfriends where boys and it so happens all their names where Chris hahah. So as I grew older I found myself with more guy friends because I was just acustomed to being around males then females. But I would say I have an equal amount of both guy n chicks as friends now.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Deviant- KNOW some childish, catty women but they’re not my friends and I limit my exposure to their foolishness. The problem is there seems to be more of them than there are women I’d actually like to hang around.

I TOTALLY AGREE!!

18 04 2008
Machete

@AF

GRRRR I am trying to post to this topic, and not trying to tie it to some personal beef that happened… so please stop dragging the convo back to that one time …yadda yadda. It doesn’t apply here cos for the record, to me, you and your male troop are interesting acquaintances at best, as I wouldn’t call ppl I’ve met only a couple times my friends. So get off my non-existent bawlls. Thanks.

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“So get off my non-existent bawlls.”

http://www.bawls.com/

I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna crap my pants.

18 04 2008
Machete

@Chris

Oh you knew it was going to come to this at some point 😉

18 04 2008
JustMe

It took me YEARS to realize this. Like, until senior year of college. Guys are great to have around as “friends” but it really just can’t last because they are going to try to have sex with you sooner or later, which is lame.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Maya, where are you from? College and the like?

I am going to Target and I am sucking on bawls ALL WEEKEND.

18 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

hahahahaha @ Bawls.com
You notice they’re hiring!
Thanks Mrs. Epps. I grew up in DC similarly, few girls in my neighborhood that were cool, but all the boys were, and I wasn’t a slut – at that age 😀
Though now I have more women friends, in large social situations I still gravitate to the testosterone. Men are better story-tellers, and I love great stories.

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Machete

Why do you believe that my statements are a reflection of one isolated incident? You’re the one that mentioned that ONE time… not me. Perhaps you’d like to explain yourself there.

What I said to you earlier is genuine and general and though directed towards you can be applied to anyone and everyone. Your statements are most hypocritical and your life experiences (since you have admitted you knowing me) show it.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

SMH@ bawls…i sucked one down before it was pretty good hehe that shit made bounce of walls at work. Way better then nasty ass piss tatsting( doesnt really now what piss taste like) Red Bull. gag Only way I drink it is with vodka.

18 04 2008
maya

I’m from Philly. I went to University of Maryland, College Park. You?

I’ll be back in a bit…going to go make myself presentable so I can get myself in trouble later. It’s a BEAUTIFUL day out and the liquor store comes a- callin’.

18 04 2008
Anmarie

Everyone was being so annoyning on this topic: “wan wan wan I’m a bitch, I’m not a bitch, I hate bitches, I eat bitches for dinner, bitches need balls”, until:

“So get off my non-existent bawlls.”&”I am sucking on bawls ALL WEEKEND.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh that’s good stuff.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

knatrualbeauty- I must agree Men are better story-tellers they get to the goddamn point unlike women who tend to always get of subject while telling stories.** nods off**

I think sometimes my friends get angry because sometimes i can be very descriptively graphic like some men are, like instead of calling a girl a slut i would say more like that cum-filled hoe bag hahaha. My girls say I have a guy like mind sometimes. I can’t help it.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Maya- I go to University of Maryland College Park I have one more yr left until I get my Master’s in Journalism.

18 04 2008
maya

Hmm…the Bawls bottle is studded like a sex toy. Coincidence? I vote no.

18 04 2008
Sister Toldja

I’m from Chicago, went to HU and live in Brooklyn. I hung out in College Park a few times, but I doubt we met. However, you ARE my soul sister.

Ugh, I hate work. The sun and the liquor store AND the bar are calling my name…

18 04 2008
maya

Mrs. Epps – I went to UMCP for journalism in undergrad. Now I’m at Penn doing what can only be described as the devil’s work.

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Cool devil’s work I heard that hahaha

Sister Toldja you went to HU. 1/2 my fam went there. All i can say they have bomb HOMECOMING’s haha

18 04 2008
Fruity Pebble

Umm…err…I think Chris…just described me. Most of my friends are guys, and I’m generally averse to doing too much hanging out with women.

In my defense, I was a huge tomboy growing up, and my closest friends are friends from childhood, almost all of whom are male. We have common experiences, having bonded over being misfits together. I LOVE sports, I live in wifebeaters and jeans, I’ll take beer over anything that ends in “-tini” any day, bodily functions and amuse me to no end, and I’m more flatulent than ANYone I know (this has been confirmed by my male friends, all of whom I repeatedly fart in front of). But I also like to shop, and as a Food Network junkie, I also love to cook. I’ve occasionally had problems with new girlfriends who at first felt threatened by me, but mostly I become their friends too (not as close, but a childhood’s worth of shared experiences is impossible to match).

I’m not naive enough to think the straight ones haven’t at least thought about it, and it doesn’t bother me, nor do I exploit it. To be honest, I’ll take that kind of “maybe one day if” scheming any day over the type of traps women sometimes set for each other; they like to scar you for life, figuratively and literally if at all possible. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve made more women friends through work. My closest female friend today is a total slut, but to be honest I love her for it and I wouldn’t have her any other way. She’s gorgeous, is real about being a slut, and always fun to be around, but I’ve never once gotten competitive bitch-vibes from her (though I don’t leave my BF around her because, well, she’s a slut). She’s almost like a guy herself.

Anatomy aside, I just don’t have much in common with most women. Their eyes glaze over the minute I start talking politics or soccer and basketball. I don’t hate other women, but having to be so guarded around them all the time can be a real pain in the ass (we can be pretty touchy). I don’t go out of my way to avoid women-friends, it just worked out that I’ve been lucky enough to keep my closest friends from a rambunctious youth.

18 04 2008
18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

bwahahahahahahhahah@ Shabooty

http://mrsepssrantontheworld.blogspot.com/

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Simply put: All women are whores except our mothers because she quit or did they?

For those of you who are Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim there holy texts declare women to be evil and are items of man.

I haven’t read shit on my homies blog until the Military Admiral said go read it. And guess what Go Fuck yourselves FAGETS!

I have not met one loyal respectful axe wound in my entire life. And based on experience there is no such thing as marriage and there is no such thing as a loyal woman so dudes get out of your relationships and fuck as much puss as you can!!!

The one woman I fell for was the dumbest shit Ive ever done. And after almost falling again for the next one shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit never again! Dudes and ladies go to the chicken ranch!!! YEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!

And yes you all know who this is WOOoooooo!!!!!!!

-Tom Harkin

18 04 2008
shabooty

omg @ tom harkin

imma cry from laughin

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Women that have a lot of guy friends will never have a real relationship period! Dudes that treat their woman as best as they can will never have a real relationship – FAGETS!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

wow@ tom harkin is one angry MOFO huh ppl ahahha. sounds like someone ripped his heart out, fried it in a skillet and fed it to him for dinner with BBQ sauce. SMH poor guy.

18 04 2008
maya

Oh my.

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“wow@ tom harkin is one angry MOFO huh ppl ahahha. sounds like someone ripped his heart out, fried it in a skillet and fed it to him for dinner with BBQ sauce.”

Ok, does the fact that this made me hungry mean I’m a sick fuck?

Mmmmmm….braised Harkin Heart. Sounds almost as good as fish vagina.

18 04 2008
shabooty

laf…………………..
omg

i kno why this site’s great now……….cause theres an evil joy of reading it at work and hurting your stomach and neck muscles, holding in your laughter.
$

18 04 2008
maya

i feel like if you pay for sex, there is something irreconcilably pathetic about you.

18 04 2008
WayCool

Damn, Tom! it’s going to be all right… listen to some RnB music and pull yourself together, son.

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Btw if you truly are ready for a relationship dont do it love doesnt last and dont base a relationship on love period. Its best to just fuck women and not give shit! Easiest targets unfortunately as livingin California are married or chics in a relationship…the cunties out here are so quick to give it up and blame alcohol or whatever its just unbelieivable…

I’m not a bad guy I’m, in fact I was a good guy at once but since there is not a single woman that I have crossed paths with that doesn’t understand what love is or how to love and treat a man or to have a real relationship regardless if its sexual or not I have quit on trying to hold relationships and have essentially become the thing I always hated…

Relationships should be looked at like a Plant or a Field of Grass…I don’t give a shit about how bad the grass looks – whether its withered or the soil is bad or has unwanted weeds in it. You work with what you have water the grass plant new seeds, pull out the weeds…

But I remember…women and some men are not Plants their fucking animals a goddamn virus in search of new territory and new green pastures to latch themselves on until they suck up all the vegetation int he pasture then…they move to something else…

The essence of marriage – the bond between two people specifically male and female is gone in this nation…divorce rates rise like no other and why is that? Most likely we can blame capitalism the freedom to do what you want and have what you want…

This ideology is not only destroying ourselves and our relationships but it is destroying our nation…

WE our at war with religious fundamentalist not realizing that our own cause and stand is a fundamentalist idea. That idea is Free-Market fundamentalism and is just as dangerous as the religious fundamentalisms of our time. It trivializes the concern for public interests. An overwhelming power and influence of plutocrats and oligarchs in our economy has placed a fear and insecurity of people worldwide. This dogma that is deteriorating our world based on the free-market fundalmentalist idea has turned many away from schools and education to prisons, from workers conditions to profit margins, from necessary health care to high tech facial and body surgeries, from civic associations to pornographic Internet sites, and from after school children programs to violent video games, gambling and strip clubs. This idea of buying selling consuming and taking promoting and advertising devalues the community, compassionate charity, and the overall improvement of the general quality of life. It is indeed ironic that in our Nation we have moved from freedom to a bling era where all people care about is material things…

Goddammit AF and Machete your gripes going back and forth why did you get me started… >:O

18 04 2008
WayCool

geezuz, tom! wtf did that bitch do to you?!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ Chris yea I think I’m hungry as well I want some wings from the carry out w/ mambo sauce yummmmmmmmmm.**mouth waters**

Tom-I’m not a bad guy I’m, in fact I was a good guy at once but since there is not a single woman that I have crossed paths with that doesn’t understand what love is or how to love and treat a man or to have a real relationship regardless if its sexual or not I have quit on trying to hold relationships and have essentially become the thing I always hated…

Tommy boy( if I may give you this pet name real quick),
You must be seeking a relationship in the wrong women. And maybe if you open your eyes and really see women for who the really are(REAL WOMEN) not these little girls that think their women you will find that woman that views love the way you do. Because I agree with you on what a relationship and marriage is and I know how to treat a man that’s why I have a soon be husband now.

http://mrsepssrantontheworld.blogspot.com/ Check it out.. :-)( blog called Meeting, Dating, Engagment to Marriage)

18 04 2008
zoso

“cause theres an evil joy of reading it at work and hurting your stomach and neck muscles, holding in your laughter.”

An excellent form of exercise!

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Nah its cool to pay for sex because its a simple ass interaction heres 20 bucks heres my cock SUCK IT! THANk you! LMFAO!!!!

Please go to my Ranch give me money!

18 04 2008
Admiral Furious

@ Tom Harkin….

OOOUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

18 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

How much should you tip a hooker?

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

In fact they should legalize prostitution you know why? Because about 95% of women would go into the business since what 35 or 40% of women do it.

Legalized brothels are the best things since sliced bread.

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

How much should you tip a hooker you ask?

ummm… obvious!!!

NOT A GATDAMN THING!!!! >:O

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Damn we go from Female hating females to BAWLS to being Hannibal to Pretty Woman. SMH If you have to pay for pussy then damn.. Happy to be in a relationship I can get y morning fuck whenever I want it woohoo!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAOO@ Tom I must agree if they leaglized brothels women would flock and jump on the banwagon. shit whit suck dick for free when you can get paid to do it. Not that I personally would join that flock…just saying haha

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

@ mrs.epps True. well…NOT!!!

nah on the real yes it can be true but sweetheart ive dated women of all walks of life…and all ages…the nerdy physicsit to the actress in hollywood…to porn stars…to crackheads – Zanax and prozac and all that other prescription drugs that most women are on…to a 40 year old business woman…you name it…and they all had one common thing…Whats on the otherside of the Hill!!

And what really has proven my theory is the plethra of trash that lurks at bars, and even at the library and grocery stores that are in a relationship…oh and btw Tom has figured out pretty much how to get a woman in the sack…will say the right things and do the right things that all of a sudden BOOM! Your fucking a married woman or an engaged woman or a womanin “a relationship.”

Most women know the formula to get a guy from his woman…and likewise guys have figured out the formula in getting a woman from her man 😉

Congrats on finding your “husband” hopefully it works.

One thing you mentioned that is so true Ive been running into the wrong type of women. Where I live I think about 80% of the women I meet are on drugs – prescription drugs and thats a whole different Topic. Hell I bet some of you gals on here are taking some sort of shit…Fucking walking zombies Fuck…

And its not just women the men are fucked up as well…And the pharmaceutical companies sit back and say YEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Give me more money we know this shit doesn’t work and makes ppl lunatics!!!! FUCK!!!

Time to write my damn dissertation… Thanks a lot ASSHOLES!!!! >:O

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

lol@ me trying to spell women=whit smh

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

@ Mrs Epps!

LMFAO!!!! Thats mad funny. You so would be in the brothel take a few slobs on the pipe and go back to hubby saying “baby the day at the office was good!” mad kisses…crucial milk stains on his bread AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

LMFAO!!!!

In a relationship you practically pay for the puss!!! LMFAO its just a shit storm more expensive! FOCK!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Wow@ Tom…DUDE damn i have no words..but damn you right. I agree with you totally. But still man don’t give up so easily haha maybe you should move.. not saying that your not gonna see the same types of women in a new area either..ahh

18 04 2008
WayCool

Mr Harkin,

SoOoO, you allowed two shitbucket relationships to result in utter jadedness!? That’s not fair! You seem like you have soooo much you want and can give… why let the man you never wanted to be take control of your relationship destiny?

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

OMGG TOM DUdeeee dudeeeeee foreal. Having a man or no man my ass aint suck or fuckin anyone that i am not in a realtionship with and never have. I wouldnt work in a brothel let alone stripped in a strip club if you paid me millions of dollars. That shit is degrading and I’m not that type of chick. I have high morals and goals for myself. F that..but you have fun recruiting some girls.

18 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

On another note…

Heres a Topic: Packing Material

I CANT STAND PEOPLE USING POPCORNS FOR CUSHIONING A PACKAGE THAT SMALL SHIT GETS EVERYWHERE AND CREATES A GIGANTIC MESS FUCK!!!

18 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Tom fucking cracks me up…i prefer bubble rap its fun to pop when bored..i hate the pop corns as well to much mess

18 04 2008
Mrs. Kennedy

wow . . . Tom needs a hug.
In my experience, women who claim to lack/appreciate female friends can’t be trusted – meaning that these whores have either a.) fucked all their female friend’s boyfriends, b.) stolen something from them or c.) both. THAT’S why they can’t deal with women and their “drama.” The “drama” comes from the fact that they’ll fuck your man or fuck up your credit, and wonder why you might want to fight them in the parking lot.

18 04 2008
WayCool

I’m off to happy hour… i’ll be sure to take a drink for you, Tom.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

@Mrs. Kennedy – Truest thing yet, fucked up people pull fucked up energy. or shit they just create horrible drama.

@Tom – “ive dated women of all walks of life…and all ages…the nerdy physicsit to the actress in hollywood…to porn stars…to crackheads – Zanax and prozac and all that other prescription drugs that most women are on…to a 40 year old business woman…you name it…and they all had one common thing…Whats on the otherside of the Hill!!”

-Maybe it’s you. Can’t be everyone else. All women can’t be horrible just to protect your ego. Stop being such a victim. Either you’re a real douche bag in relationships, deluded about your own issues, or you need to get better at giving head and/ or get a penis pump. People don’t owe you their life because you fell in love, grow up. Or better yet just pay for sex and get a side order of STD.

19 04 2008
shabooty

I CANT STAND PEOPLE USING POPCORNS FOR CUSHIONING A PACKAGE THAT SMALL SHIT GETS EVERYWHERE AND CREATES A GIGANTIC MESS FUCK!!!

sounds like someone’s plastic pussy came in the mail todayyyy!

19 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“sounds like someone’s plastic pussy came in the mail todayyyy!”

HAKFHSA;KLFJASD;LKFJDS;KLFHJASD;FKHASK;FASDJF;KLSDHJFASD
FSXFSADFKLJASD;FKL
ADSF’LKASDF
ADSFLGKJSDLGKDJF;KLHGJSDFSKLTJGR’LASHG
TEKLJFADSKL;FJADS
FALSDKJF
ADSFASD
GSDF
GAK;DSHJRS;ELKJTELST
DRTSKLDRJT
SDTKLSDHFJLKORJTG
SDRKLTJDFL;YGJSDFGT
DFGKLDSFJY
GRSTUDR6
WER5K67JR5LY6W45
75KLTY;JDL;K5TJESR
TKLD4U’56;KURT
PU
657I
56
Y7W34LKJ6W34L;K5YJW4;LRE[PIELR;YRDTSUREHJEKLS;FJ
LMFDSOCMASDFOASDJFL;ASDJFAL;DSKJGF;LASDJFGSD;L
ZFGKORWJFGD
FGDS
RFG
ERSG
REGKLJRKGL;FAJHWE;FLEJWL;FKJ

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

@ mrs. epps LMFAO!!! my point exactly…

OH YOU KNOW! you’d take some pipe for a few millions!!! OHHHHHHHHH!!!! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit my ass would gobble a joint for that shit!!! and I would have a happy smile on my motherfucking face!!! OHHHHHHHHH!!!!

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

@ anmarie…

No

19 04 2008
maya

“sounds like someone’s plastic pussy came in the mail todayyyy!”

*dies*

“Stop being such a victim. Either you’re a real douche bag in relationships, deluded about your own issues, or you need to get better at giving head and/ or get a penis pump. People don’t owe you their life because you fell in love, grow up. Or better yet just pay for sex and get a side order of STD.”

You have no idea how many people I want to say that to.

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Yo whats funny is the chics that have STD’s are the closet case chcics the ones that openly fuck will show there rap sheet and say see look all clean!! OHHHHH!!!! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!! YEEEEEEEEE HAW!!!!

19 04 2008
Anmarie

The hiv can latch on and be there for 3 months before it shows in a test. Either way, slow sucide is a side effect of not giving a shit. So never mind let the good times roll.

19 04 2008
sparkle

@ Mrs. Kennedy (23:28:02) :

“In my experience, women who claim to lack/appreciate female friends can’t be trusted – meaning that these whores have either a.) fucked all their female friend’s boyfriends, b.) stolen something from them or c.) both. THAT’S why they can’t deal with women and their “drama.” The “drama” comes from the fact that they’ll fuck your man or fuck up your credit, and wonder why you might want to fight them in the parking lot.”

precisely. every woman i’ve ever known who’s said that has been someone i’ve ended up needing to stay as far away from as possible. i couldn’t agree more.

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Anmarie-Stop being such a victim. Either you’re a real douche bag in relationships, deluded about your own issues, or you need to get better at giving head and/ or get a penis pump. People don’t owe you their life because you fell in love, grow up. Or better yet just pay for sex and get a side order of STD.

The hiv can latch on and be there for 3 months before it shows in a test. Either way, slow sucide is a side effect of not giving a shit. So never mind let the good times roll.

**Gives her a High Five **

and bwahahahah@ plastic pussy in the mail has anyone see that shit on the net http://www.fleshlight.com/ I saw a video for that joint of a dude fucking it while watching porn I was laughin my black ass off when I saw it.

19 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Well… gat damn.

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

Whatever I stick to my main comment All women are whores

19 04 2008
Anmarie

LOL Chris told me he was going to use it to replace women a few weeks ago in the comments to the Stupid Fashion trends post. Ah man it was the funniest thing I ever saw. I think the girl in the video was trying not to laugh as she was selling the shit. The flesh light, hahahahaha!

Fellas does it really feel real? It’s not like you get more lube for your ahhh bang with that thing.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

“Whatever I stick to my main comment All women are whores”

BIG ASS BABY

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

and so are men Tom. Men are as much as a whore as the common woman nuff said im getting my beer:47 pm on..Toodlez

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Anmarie bwhahahahahaha Chris said that..SMH he is tooo damn sexy to be fucking a pocket pussy. **flips out the cell and looks for her sigle friends numbers**

As far as the ” Fleshlight” which is hilarious how they have the pussy, lips, ass and “unisex” version of it. I was like hmmp it looks like it takes a shit load of lube to actually make it feel like a real nice wet one of cousre if you in to the ” sandpaper” type as Chris calls it hahha then you should be str8.

19 04 2008
shabooty

havin ur balls stick to your thighs from exess sweat is also a cause of not giving afuck =)

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

watches the demo video again..hahah Anmarie her ass is laughin on the inside so hard!!! Especially the part about how its life like and some men say it feels better than the real thing BULOCKS!!!

19 04 2008
Anmarie

@Mrs, Epps. LOL not exactly i’m lying on him, but he gave me the site and said some slick shit about fleshlights no wanting to cuddle. I was just saying that I didn’t have to take fashion tips from men because I have the vagina, and he gon’ show me some fake coochie, the nerve. OH i was mad! haha, he got me damn him!

@Shabooty – What? Are you’re parents letting you stay up late because it’s Friday? 🙂

19 04 2008
Anmarie

*not

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

I think I may have banged Anmarie before LOL!!!!

19 04 2008
Anmarie

OMG, Mrs. Epps she is dying on the inside. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Could you sell that thing with a straight face? She’s so laughing. They should get beautiful men to market the rabbit and see how long his serious face last.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Well if you did, it’s certainly not memorable tiny wheeny. Tommy you little cup cake trying to figure out how to piss me off. Tell me you’re running for president.

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

hahaha I figured its you…

Yes my penis is 2″ I still have our video maybe Ill post it…

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAOOOOOOOO@ the rabbit..and dude keeping a straight face..hell to the naw!! wow I think some has a crush on Anmarie is it Tom? hmmmmmmmm** ponders** and wait is that Tom from myspace??!!! http://www.myspace.com/tom

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Go for it teeny, you can label it: “How to disappoint a woman in 6 seconds flat”

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

LOL best 6 seconds of your life!

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Tom’s gay and can’t admitt it, hence all the fe-male hatred. Just be who are, i’m sure it;s easier than trying to be a jack ass.

19 04 2008
shabooty

ahahah Anmarie HARKIN ready for a FARKIN 😉

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Ahhh, couldda had a V8

19 04 2008
Anmarie

That;s right Shabooty don;t let him take your biggest loser title. BIG ASS BABIES unite!

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

hahahahha@ shabooty
Farking SMH…
Anmarie- Coulda had a V8 bwahahah…

why pay from cable when I can come here and laugh til I cry!

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

for** opps

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Shabooty doesn’t like cooty, saw him in Tom’s pooty. They both smell like dooty

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

yep! as I recall I tore your ASSHOLE UP!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Anmarie check out my blog http://mrsepssrantontheworld.blogspot.com/

If you lived around here I could def see us being friends your too funny.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

LOL, Stupid, weak man trick number one, Pissed that a woman it smarter, I’ll try to hurt her with vile sexual acts or references. I bet you’re a closest rapest with low self esteem. And I’m pretty sure you couldn’t tear anything up with your two incher over there. Perhaps that’s why you can’t keep even a crackwhore for long. And that just burns your britches doesn’t it sugar plum?

tore your asshole up = please will anyone have sex with me for free, please. 😦

19 04 2008
Anmarie

*is

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

LMFAO!!!!

Nooooooo I think your the one with self esteem issues shall I begin? Or should I just leave that be?

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Tommy you don’t scare me. Not one teeny peeny bit.

19 04 2008
Tom Harkin 2007

lol

19 04 2008
Sister Toldja

What the blood clot hell? What? WHAT?

I cannot do this. I cannot.

I felt one of those plastic pussies before at a sex toy party. They were selling it on some “Get this for your man when you go out of town”. Uh, I vote no. It did feel remarkably soft, but it wasn’t even Diet Coke compared to the real thing. More like sparking water when you want a beer. I feel sad in my heart for men who have to use those.

I wanted to go out tonight, but after reading this Tomfoolery, I think I want to go to bed. Tom is like estrogenocide, any real live woman in his presence undoubtebly explodes in to a million pieces immediately.

19 04 2008
maya

Wow. I come back and THIS is what’s going on? The only thing that kept me afloat while reading the rest of this were Anmarie’s comments…and admittedly, Shabooty’s, LOL. But where the fuck did Tom come from? I thought he was going to drop his little jewels of anger and rage and peace out so that all of us regulars could resume in our exchanges. Apparently he’s trying to make himself relevant. I hate attention whores. I really do.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

Sister Toldja,

That would only give him what he wants, never let a douche bag see you sweat girl.

Go out and have fun! Live your life! Unfortunately I’m not feeling so well, thus I’ll be throwing “there will be blood” in the DVD in a moment. Enjoy!

PS the eddie/ michael video is hilarious.

19 04 2008
DCNative

When did this site BLOW THE FUCK up? 230 comments? Skin, you are the shit.

19 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Dammit, all of you are sweatin each other! Shut up for real. I leave for a few hours and it sounds like a middle school health class in here and I SKIPPED all of shabooty’s comments. Please stop, this is embarrassing and as far away from the topic as possible now.

I just want to go back and agree with the point that stated women who don’t have girlfriends don’t have em for a reason. They drove them away with A, B, or C. Good point, well said.

19 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Lastly to the penis pump/fake vagina/ vacuum cleaner men of the world. Don’ feel bad, for everyone of you, there is a dissatisfied, lonely woman out there who hides her pain with that whole independent mind set. Don’t even front, women need dick as much as men need pussy. Some more physical than others, and others need that psychological fuck.

19 04 2008
Afrique Afrikan

I don’t trust women who hate other women.

19 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Dammit, now I’m pissed >:-O

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

shit dammit I wanna know were my cute buddy Mr. Smith is at lol…I was reading on one of these blogs saying that he was the youngest person that reads and comments on these blogs…Im 20 how old are you hahha… just being nosey. 🙂

Mr. Smith-Don’t even front, women need dick as much as men need pussy. Some more physical than others, and others need that psychological fuck.

Aint gonna front I want dick as much as a man wants pussy. I make it known.. call me a freak whatever you like but I’m gonna get mine F THAT if not from my man from my mini vibrator bwahahha..I love my mini Vibby he’s the shit and LMAOOO@ myself callin my vibrator a him. and LMBAO@ me being intoxicated writing this.. 😉

19 04 2008
london

who the hell is this harkin geezer and which devil womb spawned him…
i wonder if he would put his mamma is on a chicken ranch too… no-one can hate women that much.. he has to be plaiyng… psycho…
this post is very fascinating and i am seeing one of my female best-ies today – the topic will come up between the winding up the car windows and farting, talking in our made up language in public and general foolery that will happen… belly laughs to take the misery of the chores away….
btw… a woman friend who cannot cook for her girl-homies isn’t worth a damn… she should have one recipe that the others squeal for…
food brings women together like nothing else… like families..
men like to get wasted and women like to get fed… then wasted…
ha ha..

19 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Holy shit dude look at all the comments.

I’m drunk again, this time off Malbec. Malbec is a wine from Argentina that’s so good you’ll wanna stick your penis in a grape. If you don’t have a penis, you can probably just suck on the grape for awhile since it’s about the size of an asian testicle. Maybe.

Current color of my balls: Blue.

I’m allowed to act like a dick every now and then, right?

19 04 2008
maya

Chris,

You should formulate a plan that allows you to have sex with someone (ha, a female friend, perhaps) immediately following your weekend drunkenness. It’s not good to torture yourself. Wine def. makes Maya a horny mess. Which is EXACTLY why I’m putting my ass in bed immediately following this post.

19 04 2008
Afrique Afrikan

Chris,

I think you’re a little too obsessed with your twig and berries. And that’s not healthy. Even for a young man.

19 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Twig? Well aren’t we pessimistic…

19 04 2008
Anmarie

“Dammit, all of you are sweatin each other! Shut up for real.”

No you shut up Mr. Smith, Tom Harkin is a disgusting son of bitch (talking about all women are whores) and none of you dudes checked him on the shit, but you’re all real quick scream on us about something, so i told him about himself and of course got attacked for it. But whatever I’m not gonna let him shut me up (or you) or make me feel ashamed because I’m a woman.

19 04 2008
Admiral Furious

For real, I agree with Mr Smith. This board became a swath of immaturity, sparked by Mr Tommy Harkin and we do need to get back to the original point that was stated. (shaking head) Anmarie, I believe Mr Smith was talking to everyone… not just you. I think you took it a little too personally there.

19 04 2008
Anmarie

I know who Mr. Smith was talking to and i am saying that the back and forth was a result of me saying something to Tommy when no one else would. And I got attacked because of it. No one had anything to say while it was going on but of course in the aftermath it’s easy to jump in and call everyone immature. Perhaps I’m not the only one talking things personally, thanks for having our backs while chicken man was call us all whores, brother.

19 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Anmarie I refuse to fight with you on this. But I will say that coming to a mass of posts today at 12:15pm regarding whores, assholes, pussies, and dicks was rather… well… annoying. Now if you want me to say Tommy Boy is inappropriate, yes he is and I do disagree with his stance on life and his position on women. It is most degrading. But quite frankly, considering his immaturity level, I think it’s obvious that his words are both a waste of my time… and more importantly yours.

Now, lets get back to the topic… or better yet, lets get on something else. Two Hundred Some Odd posts on this shit has bored me to fucking tears and I know we can talk about something other than something that would come out of a MOTHER FUCKING teenagers mouth.

—MAD AS FUCK

19 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

Mrs Epps – I read your first post. Playing video games, ESPNZone, etc with the guys are all so that you’ll hopefully get comfortable enough to eventually be in the middle of a game of Madden, and then take a little extra time during halftime for some extracurricular activity. Don’t kid yourself – I’m a near-married man and I still know all of this to be true.

19 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

And you might be asking yourself, “self, how does Angry know this?”

The answer – because I’ve tried it all myself. And one time it worked.

19 04 2008
whiteblackeducatedhater or whatever i am today

i’m glad to say that i haven’t encountered any of these women since high school. maybe you need to meet other 20-somethings b/c i definitely don’t think this is the norm–but maybe i just hang in better circles (kidding. wait no not really)

19 04 2008
shabooty

another thing i hate which i encountered last night… it wasn’t a ‘pack of chicks’, but rather it was a ‘gaggle of FIDGET broads’. A bunch of short ass bitches that could all probably suck a dick standing up. It was kind of annoying cause u’d look on the dance floor and all u saw were guys, cause they chicks were all frigging 4 feet.
sigh.

19 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Exactly, thank you for sticking up on my behalf Admiral. I wasn’t calling out anyone in particular, that whole immaturity thing was getting too much, for ME even! Tom is a disgusting cretin and much like my previous adversaries on this board, have contributed nothing but ignorance and chaos to the board. Things would have been handled much better if they had just gone ignored. You should all know better. I’m never going to intentionally disrespect the mainstays of this board.

Back to the topic at hand, these “women” I guess we’ll call em, I tend to stay away from because the drama they say they try to stay away from is almost always caused by them.

19 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angry- and if you read I said that most of the time when i hang with the “guys” my man is with me…so these “extracurricular” activities will not happen anyways unless it is with my babez.. 🙂 But I get what your saying though. And yea damn the comments to this blog are all over the damn place..so many side convos went bad..haha

19 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Mr. Smith… anytime man.

Anmarie… I think my initial comment to you was a bit abrupt and I do apologize. Today was a rough one (home improvement is a b*tch) and I was in a most foul mood earlier.

I do hope everyone had a nice weekend. For those on the east coast… the weather sure has been nice. 🙂

20 04 2008
Sister Toldja

A woman in her mid-30s who I have a lot of respect for, with three children and a fiancee, recited the above-stated “I don’t hang out with females” arguement damn near verbatim today. I damn near fainted.

AF- correction: it WAS nice today. Now it’s time to go run the streets for the night and it’s like 45 degrees. Fuck.

20 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

The Grand Architect (Chris) and AF, including all those concerned…

I will be back around DC from ATL during the 4th of July timeframe. While it might be akward, wouldest thou consider a gathering of sorts, perhaps at a swank nightclub or lounge?

I’m all ears.

20 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Angry… holla at Chris on the email joint.

20 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Oh BTW almost forgot,

Mrs. Epps, I’m younger than you.

20 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

AF: roger that, sir.

20 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Ahhh is that so Mr. Smith 🙂 finally some one younger than me with A+++ intellegence..thats hard to find these days..

20 04 2008
Sister Toldja

Angry, I might go back to DC around the 4th if I don’t get home to Chicago for the Taste. Can I come? 🙂 This actually coincides with “Twenty-Four Play”, the 24 days in which I will be celebrating my twenty-fourth birthday this year. Which don’t really make sense, as I plan to continue telling people I am 23 for another year or two. But whatevs.

20 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Well what is all this now? I’ll be back in DC May 3rd. We should all just meet up somewhere

20 04 2008
brran1

@ Sister Toldja: When’s The Taste again? The three years we lived in Chicago (well the suburbs) we went and had a ball.

Everyone’s tryna meet up? Someone lemme know what’s good with that.

20 04 2008
brran1

@ Sister Toldja: When’s The Taste again? The three years we lived in Chicago (well the suburbs) we went and had a ball.

Everyone’s tryna meet up? Someone lemme know what’s good with that.

20 04 2008
sistertoldja

The Taste is usually the week leading up to the 4th of July, for like a total of 9 days or so, I think. It is always a blast, especially with all the great free concerts. I caught Erykah there…..speaking of HATING straight hair, we had to leave when it started to drizzle because my friend had a fresh press out. Of COURSE Erykah brought Common out as soon as we left. Had we stayed, I can guarantee that Common and I would be married by now. Straight hair ruined my life.

Uh, yeah. So anyway. I am in DC May 2-5th, and then again a few more times this summer and I am ALWAYS down to drink.

20 04 2008
maya

Aww…this is cute. I wanna come. The little online-family get together. Someone please arrange (I hate event-planning) and then clue me in.

20 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

LoL…I’ve opened a can of worms. We should get BET to bring their cameras – this is going to be an ignorant-fest a la College Hill Atlanta if it actually goes down.

Either way, I’m definitely game. I retired from the club scene a while ago and prefer bars with no cover (TomTom in Adams Morgan is one of my personal favorites).

Either way, I’m game. Apparently there are some good spots in Rosslyn.

20 04 2008
shabooty

i will keep my eyes open for popeyes coupons that wont expire til end of may.
🙂 just playing….$

21 04 2008
maya

LMAO @ the BET suggestion. The ignorance of this group goes unparalleled. And I love it.

21 04 2008
brran1

@ Angry

You don’t think it would be more like the Mad Real World?

21 04 2008
Angry v3.2b

brran1: no…you have to see College Hill Atlanta. Possibly the most ignorant shit I’ve ever seen on a CRT, LCD, rear projection, and/or plasma screen.

21 04 2008
brran1

I watch it every week. Maybe i’m in a trance because of that one light skinned chick Ashley P. Or Q. or something like that.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Angry-you have to see College Hill Atlanta. Possibly the most ignorant shit I’ve ever seen on a CRT, LCD, rear projection, and/or plasma screen.

FUCK YEA IT IS!!! me and my babes watched it like twice and thought it was just dumb. But I guess when you go on shows like that you start to do dumbass things.. they don’t get the opp. to watch TV and crap like that when they are in the house. Have you ever noticed that? even on real world. They like ban all the TV’s on that show so they have nothing else to do but fuck each other, fight and get drunk. So sad. hahaha.

21 04 2008
brran1

@ Mrs. Epps

The show’s called College Hill but has anyone seen them in class or even on campus yet?

21 04 2008
Stephanie

College Hill is a mess–it makes me mad because I worked my ass off in college.

On the topic of this post, I do have a few platonic male friends, but I’m well aware they’re only a few drinks away from trying something. Actually, a long-time friend of mine was in town and we went out to dinner and he insisted on paying. Another (female) friend of mine and I had this exchange:

Me: Yeah, he usually pays…I’ve tried telling him he doesn’t have to and it usually ends up with us making fools of ourselves and him playing “keep-away” with the check or something along those lines.
Her: And you two aren’t dating? He doesn’t expect any “favors” in return?
Me: No.
Her: How long have you two known each other?
Me: 8 years.
Her: Oh God, you better watch out because watch him want to “cash in his chips” later down the line.

21 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

I know what College Hill is brran1 lol I thought i just said that hahha comes on at 10 on BET.

21 04 2008
kablammyman

its true, men dont want to be just friends with a woman.

I’ll also add that any man willing to wait/havent made a move, etc isnt just waiting for teh oppertunity, hes a pussy, and doesnt KNOW how to make a move.

However men, its too late by then, you have already crossed into the “friend zone” (read, shes not into you) therfore, you are wasting your time waiting for pussy. You wernt many enough to make it happen, therefore she sees YOU as a girlfriend.

22 04 2008
ph2072

I FUCKING HATE woman-hating women. They make me sick. Great post.

From, a sisterhood lover. 🙂

23 04 2008
Ms. Kristine

DAMN! I just did a whole lot of reading! Whew! It gotta a little sticky, but we survived. Thank G! Now…what was the name if that wine? I just GOT TO experience the female equivalent of blue balls! LOL!

24 04 2008
Reba C.

I just saw this post (thanks to Sister Toldja) and this is HILARIOUS! As a former tomboy I have my share of male friends but over the years I have learned that you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT….almost ALL of them wanted to fuck me – and had I let them they would have. It’s tricky because I always thought I was thought of as one of the guys (for all intents and purposes up until junior year in high school – I was) – then I decided that being girly is what guys like….and well, I like guys so therefore I began wearing dresses (and liking them!) and shopping and whatnot….don’t get me wrong it’s not that I didn’t want (or have) female friends but I was more comfortable around the boys….but the boys aren’t boys any more….they’re men with penises and large egos…and I’m not the tomboy that none of them wanted to date anymore, I’m the cutie in the black skirt w/ the @$$ they never noticed ’til now – so I had to let them go. The ones that I’m still cool with are all in long-term/committed relationships (and their girls KNOW ME) or they’re GAY. So there you have it……for once, fellas – YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT.

BUT…. there are so many WOMAN-HATING WOMEN out here that it’s hard to find female friends….so that leaves women like me friendless 😦 and that sucks…..(most times except for the whole not having to hold anyone’s hair back in the club as they are puking)

16 05 2008
Eebzookee

I had a work colleague, who for a comoputer programmer was quite hot. I used to see her go to the puc at lunch time with about 7 or 8 other guys, all merry and unassuming. What she saw was, some great work colleagues she could hang out with at lunch time. what I saw was a group of guys trying to work out which one of them will get to fuck her. Needless to say one day she came back from lunch sniffing with a little tear in her eye, I asked what the matter was, she said, some people pretend to be friends and all they want to do is fuck you. so I said to her, oh you mean they guys I see you got to lunch with, she looked at me surprised and said yeah.

So I broke her little heart by explaining what I could plainly see what was going on for weeks, furthermore topping it off by asking her. “Why do you think I don’t talk to you much, even though you sit right next to me all day?”, she asked “I dunno, why then?”.
I responded “Because I don’t want to fuck you”.

I think she learned a lot about men that day.

5 06 2008
DottyWine

I don’t like this topic because sometimes I become friend with a boy just because I want to fuck him. I try to put the moves, but he doesn’t bite.

11 06 2008
andre

WHAT BULLSHIT!!! just because YOU want to fuck all YOUR female friends…does not mean we all are the same. Some of us actually respect (what a concept!) our female friends as people. Theres too much pussy out here to fuck up a good friendship.

11 06 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate
20 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

for figure 1:
subtract pillows; add knives; insert into back of friend closest in proximity to you= some women.

25 06 2008
MsE

LOL @ DottyWine. That’s exactly how I feel! It works both ways.

15 07 2008
D

“*Empirical evidence has shown that there is nothing sexier to a woman than an attractive man who, while acknowledging her presence, seems completely uninterested in having sex with her. The more attractive the woman is, the more this rule applies.”

This is the golden rule for getting into bed with women. Use it well, Chris.

7 08 2008
toddyenglish

Wait, I’m a guy and I have a ton of female friends; and I have no desire to sleep with any of them!

Then again I’m gay, soooooooooooooo…

Moral of the story: women can be platonic friends with men as long as the men in question don’t like cooters.

But who knows what might occur if my girls got me goin off some Patron? Ah no…never happen.

31 08 2009
Gabriel

As the comments above show, they’re not always unaware of the deal, there. Half the time, yes, they’re using it as a way of saying, “I’m not your typical girl, I’m much more relaxed and hassle-free.” and if called out on it they’ll cop to it. But if a girl tells me that and I get a ‘this is going to be time-consuming’ vibe, I have no qualms about just losing touch. If she gets back in touch, just lay it out.

“Yeah, you’re already stringing along, like, half a dozen guys by your own admission and I’ve got no reason to think that it’s gonna be anything other than a source of tension for however long we know each other. So, you know, have fun and everything.”

They either drop the BS real quick, or they freaking explode. Because most of those girls know what their ‘friends’ want; don’t think that they’re clueless, man. They KNOW it. They just know that saying that up-front isn’t the best way to impress a prospective boyfriend or admirer. Seriously, fellas, save yourselves some time and call these girls out, otherwise you might as well just gift-wrap your dick and hand it over the first time YOU call HER up to hang out, because she can only enjoy the company of a fawning, sexless mass of admirers.

The reason other girls don’t get along with them isn’t because they’re so drama-free – it’s because they’re so FULL of drama that they can’t stand having to focus on anyone else, so they’ll find a group of male friends who’ll be happy to let that be the entirety of their relationship in return for the idea of potential sexual gratification which the woman never intends to satisfy.

Other girls are gonna see you as emasculated, it’s just going to ruin things and you get nothing out of it. You have NOTHING to lose by calling a girl out like this. You might get laid, or you might lose a source of sexual frustration. Either way, it’s win-win.

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