During a pissing contest with a cousin over Wu-Tang trivia recently, I happened across a Wikipedia article on Killer Bees in a Google search. Are you ready to get mad? Check this shit out:
If you’re an idiot like me and didn’t know that ‘killer bee’ is a colloquialism for ‘Africanized bee’, then the first thing you did was stare at your screen for five minutes in utter disbelief that the entomologist community would allow the terms ‘Killer’ and ‘Africanized’ to be used interchangeably.
After peeling your eyes away from the first sentence of the article, those same eyes were drawn to the image on the right side of the screen and, more importantly, the caption under that image. I’m sorry, but there’s no way that whoever wrote that caption didn’t do so with the intention of throwing out some thinly veiled tongue-in-cheek racism:
Figure 1: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Upon reading the caption, I could be heard in my condo screaming “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!” over and over again for at least ninety seconds. Leave it to a fucking ‘scientific’ article about insects to, within the first ten seconds, paint ‘African’ bees as ruthless killers and then show these ill-tempered nigga-bees gangbanging a blushing (hence the pink spot) ‘European Queen’ like some twisted apian Spring Thomas* video.
Are you ready to get even MORE mad?!?!?!? Let’s get to the part of the article where we learn that the term ‘Africanized bee’ isn’t really even justifiable:
The Africanized bee in the western hemisphere descended from 26 Tanzanian queen bees (A. m. scutellata) accidentally released by a replacement bee-keeper in 1957 near Rio Claro, São Paulo State in the southeast of Brazil from hives operated by biologist Warwick E. Kerr, who had interbred honey bees from Europe and southern Africa. Hives containing these particular queens were noted to be especially defensive…Unfortunately, following the accidental release, the African queens eventually mated with local drones, and their descendants have since spread throughout the Americas.
This sentence is structured in a way to make you presume that the aggressiveness of killer bees is the fault of the African bees. But if you look closely, you’ll notice the following:
- There is no mention anywhere that purely African bees are unusually aggressive or defensive
- The local drones that raped the Tanzanian queens were European, since honey bees and their drones were introduced to Brazil by white people in 1622
- Unusual aggression in the bees only happens when European and African varieties mix
So in other words, it would be equally appropriate to call killer bees ‘Europeanized Bees’ or ‘Cracka Bees’ or ‘Maniacally Genocidal Rapers, Pillagers, and Enslavers of Land, Culture, and Humanity Bees’ – but no, racist motherfuckers back in the day decided to be assholes and call them ‘Africanized’. Ain’t that a bitch? The article even goes on to say:
The popular term ‘Africanized bee’ has only limited scientific meaning today because there is no generally accepted fraction of genetic contribution used to establish a cut-off. While the native African bees are smaller, and build smaller comb cells, than the European bee, their hybrids are not smaller. They do have slightly shorter wings, which can be reliably recognized only by performing a statistical analysis on micro-measurements of a substantial sample.
In other words, the Africanized bees don’t even fucking LOOK LIKE African bees – they look like European bees!
If this whole situation isn’t a comic foil for the history of black and white race relations in America, then I don’t know what the hell is. See if this story sounds familiar:
- Europeans trap African females and bring them to the New World
- The African females are forced to mate with European males
- The children born of these rapes are stigmatized and rejected by the Europeans
- To maintain the purity of the Europeans, they consider anyone with one drop of African blood to be African, no matter how white he looks
- The Afro-European hybrids are now disaffected and pissed off. They move to Los Angeles and go fucking nuts
Am I talking about people? Bees? Both?
Figure 2: Kindred Spirits
*Spring Thomas is a gorgonian white pornstar famous for a.) getting gangbanged by enormous black dudes and b.) calling them all kinds of racist shit as she’s having sex with them. Special thanks to my good friend ‘The Unkle’ for scarring my eyeballs with images of her holocaust of a cooter.