I’m getting rammed in the ass yet again this tax season, this time owing the federal and DC governments over $1,000 in fucking goddamn taxes in addition to the withholding I already have to put up with.
Figure 1: All of us
The second most rage-inducing day of the year for most salaried Americans is the day they look at their W-2s and see exactly how much the government is taking out of their incomes. The number one rage-inducing day comes the day right after that, when you realize what the federal and local governments are doing with your stolen money:
- Unleashing entire congressional committees on baseball players for steroid use, as if anyone gives a shit
- Spending $255 million PER DAY on a bogus and unwinnable war in Iraq, much of which the Pentagon freely admits to wasting
- Spending $67 million PER DAY on a bogus and unwinnable war in Afghanistan that, for some odd reason, nobody is fucking talking about anymore
- Pretending to chase Osama Bin Laden through the mountains of Pakistan/Afghanistan when, in all likelihood, he’s getting a hummer from Jenna Bush in the White House as I type
- Giving the Department of Homeland Security a $46.4 billion budget for 2008, nearly all of which will be wasted. I once worked a DHS contract with Lockheed Martin that billed 11,000 man-hours in 13 months at an average of $120 per hour. Not a single deliverable had been produced by the time I got fed up and left Lockheed to work with private and non-profit clients. No one was ever fired as a result of any of this.
I could go on forever.
Figure 2: This cat, like the IRS, should not exist
What amazes me about American political leadership is this:
- Bill Clinton lies under oath in civil deposition regarding a sex scandal, and is impeached
- George W. Bush starts ‘pre-emptive’ wars on multiple fronts after orchestrating attacks on the WTC and Pentagon*, runs the federal deficit into the TRILLIONS of dollars, allows thousands of American soldiers and HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF IRAQIS to die under false pretenses, withdraws from the Kyoto protocol and claims global warming “ain’t happenin'” while proposing manned missions to Mars for some fucking reason, and single handedly drives the American economy face-first into the ground while sitting over TWO recessions during his term…AND THIS DUDE IS BARELY BEING QUESTIONED ABOUT IT WHEN HE SHOULD BE TRIED FOR WAR CRIMES, NOT TO EVEN MENTION IMPEACHMENT!
What’s more, MY FUCKING TAX DOLLARS ARE PAYING FOR THIS SHIT
Personally, I believe in reparations, but not in the traditional sense. I don’t want a giant lump sum of inflation adjusted dollars for the forced labor of my ancestors distributed evenly among hard working black people who’d put the money to good use and stupid ass black people who should be lit on fire.
Figure 3: Somebody gimme a match…
I simply believe that reparations should consist of the following:
1. If you a.) are black, b.) can prove your direct descent from a black American slave, and c.) can prove the victimization of a direct ancestor by Jim Crow in the south or de facto segregation in the north within two generations – you never ever have to pay income taxes again
2. If you a.) are Native Amercian and b.) can INDIVIDUALLY prove a Native blood quantum of 1/4 or higher – you never ever have to pay income taxes again
This, of course, will never happen.
Instead, I have to sit here fuming at the big red font on Turbo Tax that says “Federal Tax Due: $1,014.98” while suppressing the urge to smash my head through the monitor.
*In general I am not a conspiracy nut, but I believe wholeheartedly in the 911 conspiracy. People tell me I’m nuts to think that Bush would kill thousands of American citizens just to get his hands on more oil/money and to tighten his authoritarian grip on the country. I tell people that they’re nuts for not believing he’d kill a whole lot more American citizens for a whole lot less. This is because I believe George W. Bush and those in his inner circle to be genuinely evil people in the classic, polarized, and unequivocal sense of the term ‘genuine evil’ that you see in the villains of cartoons like He-Man. History has shown that there is no limit to what evil white people will do to get what they want.