April Fool’s Day

1 04 2008

My morning:

7:15 AM – “CHRIS! Thank God you’re here, we’ve got a HUGE problem, some issue with [redacted] server! C’mon!”

Chris and computer guy #1 sprint up seven flights of stairs to the floor that houses [redacted] server. We arrive in a conference room.

7:17 AM – The conference room is populated with nervous looking government clients, including a deputy director of a particular agency. The conversation goes as follows:

Deputy Director: “Well it’s about damn time!”
Chris: “….what?”
Computer Guy #1: “I told him that something was wrong with [redacted] server. Haven’t had a chance to address the issue yet”
Deputy Director: “SONOFABITCH! Chris we need this thing up NOW! You’ve really dropped the ball on this one!”
Chris: “…I’m not in charge of the servers…are you sure I’m the guy you’re looking fo-”
Deputy Director: “ARE YOU GOING TO OFFER ME SOLUTIONS OR EXCUSES?!?!?”
Chris: “uh…”
Random Chick: “Bring [names Chris’ boss] in. I think we need to talk.”

7:20 AM: Computer Guy #1 returns with Chris’ boss.

Chris’ Boss: “So, I guess this is about the meeting we had yesterday. About Chris and the servers?”
Random Chick: “Yes. It looks like Chris may have left [certain program] running all night. It killed our capacity.”
Deputy Director: “This is a huge problem, [Chris’ Boss]. I think we’re going to have to re-evaluate his part of the contract.”
Chris: “DUDE! I’m a developer! I’m not even in charge of the servers! I don’t even know where they are! What are yall talking about??!?!?”
Chris’ Boss: “I’m sorry, Chris…[the Director]’s made up his mind. Please wait outside for a moment, I’m really sorry…”

Chris walks to the door.

Chris’ Boss: “Oh, by the way…”
Everyone: “APRIL FOOLS!!!!!”

Goddammit…

April Fool’s Day is an evil holiday popularized by the goddamn French in the 16th century.

frogs.jpg

Figure 1: French people arguing about the date of the new year

Its current purpose is to terrify black people into thinking they’re going to get fired for shit that has nothing to do with their jobs (kinda like releasing a football player for missing a layup).

I’m going to spend the rest of the day kicking my boss in the vagina.

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17 responses

1 04 2008
sarah

thats rough. and its only 10a. why did they single you out? although, you should feel honored that they put on a little less than a broadway play just to trick you.

1 04 2008
Uhura

LOL!

Wow….And to get the gov’t clients in on it too. Diabolical…

1 04 2008
imaG

lol people are crazy.

im too busy for that april fools shit, could knock a nigga the fuck out.

http://www.anythingblack.net

got the domain and crap

1 04 2008
Ethel

He should feel honored. Honored? How about he should update his resume and find another gig with GROWN-UPS??! I have little-to-no tolerance on stupid shit like this. [Geez Ethel, you don’t have much of a sense of humor.] Oh yes, I do and trust me when I say this ain’t funny. Jokes at other peoples’ expense is cheap humor at best. And jokes like this in the workplace–uh…aren’t we there to work? And why didn’t they go pick on the actual server guy…which makes this whole thing not thought out well and downright lame.

A shame you had a morning like that. You need to take yourself to a nice restaurant for lunch and then expense it back to your company.

1 04 2008
shabooty

oo keen observation. black people do hate being f00led.

1 04 2008
Mr. Smith

MY day was a little similar to that.

It’s 12:10 am I’m up talking to my gf on skype when my fire team leader (sophomore in charge of me, I guess I’m telling my age a little bit) comes into my room and the conversation is as follows:
FTL- Mr. Smith we need to talk
Me- Sure [FTL]
FTL- Your chain of command is pissed at you for not signing up for flag detail and missing practice today
Me- But I had class…
FTL- Sorry, but they’ve sent in a recommendation for you to be Honor Courted
Me- HONOR COURT!? Why!?!?*
FTL- APRIL FOOLS!!!!
Me- Sonuvabitch….

* Honor Court deals with cases in with the Honor Code here at my university are violated. Violation of the Honor Code results in dismissal from the ROTC and university

1 04 2008
Machete

Hmmm I wonder what the burn-rate of that prank was…my tax dollars hard at work!

1 04 2008
brran1

I got a friend of mines earlier today. I told her i was in the hospital for Collapsed Bowels. After her getting all worried. I got in the APRIL FOOLS!. Needless to say, I may be gettin my ass kicked the next time I see her.

1 04 2008
Esdotto

Ethel… I’m sure I speak for the majority of the people reading these comments when i say, “take a motherf—–ing break.” it’s april fools, a joke. if you can’t see the humor in that, then you don’t have the great sense of humor that you think you do.

1 04 2008
DavidMac

Ethel probably needs some d………, probably needs a fella in her life. There is no reason to be so mad at the world, unless you are alone.

2 04 2008
Miss Ray

I think Ethel still has a point guys. Maybe you shouldn’t go all the way into finding another job, but a good April Fools joke isn’t tasteless like you’re about to lose your job.

Kinda remind anyone of punk’d and how all the black guests seem to get involved with the police?

2 04 2008
Esdotto

Not all of them… the ones that stay out of trouble (Shaq, Tyrese, etc.) don’t get punked by the police.

2 04 2008
JL

No one fooled me personally today but there was a fake press conference that was played on the radio this morning…..Basically it was Obama bowing out of the presidential race…pissed me off early this morning!

2 04 2008
lisaturtle

Okay, let me just point out that I’m sick and drugged up so I didn’t even know it was April Fool’s Day. I thought today was like March 28th. So my friend calls me crying about being pregnant. I’m laying out her options (all while I’m just waking from a drug induced coma) and she goes, APRIL FOOLS! I’m like, it’s April? LoL.

3 04 2008
omi

yeah, um, it’s kinda dangerous to fk w/ a blk person’s occupation.

i’ve been so stressed out lately that i KNOW i’d have kirked out if someone said sh*t to me on april fool’s…sheeeeiiiittt….

3 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

Whoa..thats not cool playing with someone’s job like that..but damn sounds like some crap that would happen at my finacee’s job.. SMH

26 04 2008
GuessWho

Are you known to be a prankster at work or something? Your story sounded like “payback time”. A little weird that they singled you out and had it so well planned out!!! Awww poor baby! That must have been a rough morning

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