Stupid Names

14 03 2008

At a Kenneth Cole in Bethesda a few months back, I had the pleasure of meeting a very attractive young black woman working the sales floor. Very tall, very well-built, assertive yet soft-spoken, and ambitious enough to be pursuing an advanced degree without being a dick about it. I was damn near ready to marry this girl on the spot.

Then she told me her name. “La La.”

This was her actual fucking name. It wasn’t a nickname. It wasn’t her middle name. It wasn’t her name in Sanskrit. I’m sorry to say it, but the conversation pretty much ended there. Assuming things got serious, there’s no way I’m introducing to my mother a chick whose name doubles as a drug-induced slur. I’d rather be keelhauled.

lala.jpg

Figure 1: Lala is a clam, not a name.

The incident got me thinking about all the ridiculous names of black people I’ve come across in my lifetime, and exactly why the fuck these childrens’ parents would do something so socially damning as to name their child something like ‘Sugar’ or ‘Heaven’ or ‘Knoshawn’.

Any parent who gives their child a ridiculous name is dooming that child to failure in more ways than they could possibly fathom. It will inhibit your life professionally, socially, romantically, and even physically*

* I have a cousin who, upon meeting people named after luxury cars (e.g. Mercedes, Lexus, etc.), takes a blood oath to ram them whilst driving their namesake automobile. He sincerely believes this will restore balance to the universe, and so do I.

In analyzing this cultural disease, it became apparent that stupid black names fall under four major categories (listed in decreasing order of popularity):

  1. Swahili Bastardizations
  2. Megalomaniacal Descriptors
  3. Luxury Latch-Ons
  4. The Unfathomably Ridiculous

I will address these in turn.

Swahili Bastardizations

During the waning years of the Civil Rights Movement, black people all over the country decided to rebel against the dominant society by rejecting typical white (slave) names and adopting names closer to our own roots. The natural choice was, then, to adopt African names – but it wasn’t quite that simple. African Americans have a natural distrust of actual Africans…so we wanted to give our children names that sounded like they were from the mother continent, but wouldn’t make people think our children were actually African. It all went downhill from here.

Swahili names (taken from eastern and central Africa and typically applied to girls) and Arabic names (taken from north Africa and typically applied to boys) became ferociously popular – but for some reason many parents felt the need to mutate the Swahili names. So while boys received unaltered Arabic names like Ahmad and Kareem, girls were nominally punched in the uterus with senseless names like Shanequa and Shaquan. Parents to this day insist on naming their girls this way, despite the knowledge that doing so dooms their child to being perceived thusly by the population at large.

africanchicks.jpg

Figure 2: Not one of them is named ‘Laquesha’

Megalomanical Descriptors

Again, girls were the ones who really took it up the ass when it suddenly became popular to name children shit like ‘Pleasure’, ‘Heaven’, and ‘Serenity’. I can only assume that the parents think they’ll be the only people who ever call the child by her first name – daddies all over the world call their little girls ‘Precious’ without a second thought. But this logic is horrendously flawed, and akin to a girl legally changing her name to ‘Baby’, ‘Sweetheart’, or ‘Boo’ because that’s how her boyfriend addresses her.

Note to all prospective parents: nothing makes people more uncomfortable than having to address a complete fucking stranger as ‘Precious’ – and yes, to 99.99999999999999% of the world, your kid will be a stranger with an insufferable fucking name. Call your child all the pet names you want, but please leave it off the goddamn birth certificate.

woodysoon.jpg

Figure 3: Less awkward than a kid named ‘Treasure’

Luxury Latch-Ons

For whatever reason, black parents all over the country decided that naming their children after expensive things would bode good fortune for them throughout their lives. Consequently, there are legions of unfortunate people (mostly girls, again) with names like Chanel, Mercedes, Chandelier, and even Prada (yes, I did meet a girl named Prada, and it was the worst day of my life.)

I have personally never met someone with an LL-O name that made more than $10 an hour – so all these parents are really doing is pigeon-holing their kids into careers that will always involve a name tag and the omnipresent threat of a grease fire. Take a look at the names of the richest people in North America, and you’ll quickly realize that simplicity is the key.

Kid Named ‘Lexus’ ∩ Success = ø

The Unfathomably Ridiculous

This is where the men finally get it…and as far as I’m concerned it makes up for the fact that girls bear the brunt of the first three categories. UR names span the gamut from gross misspellings of common names (e.g. Anfernee) to those that could only be the result of massive head trauma (e.g. Oranjello)

Interestingly, though, UR names seem to be the only ones that actually correlate with financial success in life. If you need proof, take a look at the roster for any team in the NBA and you’ll find at least half a dozen dudes with a UR name. So the names are stupid, but if it works….then hey….

melo.jpg

Figure 4: Stupid name? Fuck it.

Aside: Asian People

Being friends with a lot of Asian people has taught me that Asians just LOVE to make fun of the names black people give to their children – which is about the worst case of the pot calling the kettle black that I could possibly imagine. Our names may be ridiculous, but your entire languages are fucked up. Give me enough milk and beans, and I can say any word in Vietnamese with my butt.

vietpeople.jpg

Figure 5: At least one of these people is named Long Truc Phuc

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564 responses

14 03 2008
shabooty

I will only add that I in fact do know a (first name):
“Nanyamka”,
and that she compliments me on my “Nantucket” shirt.

$

14 03 2008
Erica C.

And THIS is why I named my daughters:

Morgan Elizabeth
Dorian
Khouri

14 03 2008
JaMarcus LaShawn

Was LaLa really that fine? I work in Bethesda and might have to scoop her up for lunch. I think Lala is atleast a bit more tolerable than anything that ends in a “qua” OR “quisha”.

14 03 2008
KJ

Looking at comment #3 makes me wonder where do the names that are basically regular names with a Ja, La, or De (like JaMarcus) fit in on this list?

14 03 2008
I should know, I was named "Vanche"

Gots to weigh in real quick:

Don’t forget when:
-brothers have bastardized Greek names (Word? Darquavius?)
-Belizean girls having these weirdly fabulous and stuffy names (I knew a Shermandine once)
-naming your kids after the latest singer’s stage name (my ex named her son Omerion….yes)

My main thing, though, is this: if we’re gonna name our children and our world, let’s do so because of meaning, not because we think it’s pretty at the time. Basically the same type of thinking we should use when getting tattoos.

And we shouldn’t be short-sighted about the meaning either. Heaven is cool and respectable, but there was a porno star named Pleasure…don’t even have me go in on Peaches.

BTW, I’m loving the algebra references.

15 03 2008
mini

Don’t forget about the girls that are named ridiculous feminine versions of their dad’s names. I work with teens girls and I have met girls with names like (and this is no joke) Brieyoungna—->pronounced Brianna(dad’s name is Young) and Samunique(dad’s name is Sam).

15 03 2008
Irene

My personal pet peeve is when people come up with bullshit and claim it’s a Swahili word that means “Peace” or some other bs. I speak Swahili..and please Me’Shell Ndegeochello ain’t a swahili word (and I don’t mean any disrespect, she’s a fine musician, just saddled with an unfortunate moniker, but she’s a great example of this phenomenon). East Africans everywhere encounter this and are too polite, but are inwardly rolling their eyes and saying mmm hmmm. My fav was a girl called “Farasi” which means Horse – but she was going around telling everyone it meant Blessing. Eish!

16 03 2008
Admiral Furious

I grew up on the west side of Baltimore City, more specifically the Forest Park area, and I must admit that I’ve experienced my fair share of most ridiculous naming schemes in my lifetime. In fact, I must give thanks and praise to my parents for naming me something fairly common and utilizing the Bible to gain their inspiration. I do feel for those who were damned at birth when their parents named them Bonsheequa or Wednesday… yes I’ve known people named after both. I will also admit, I’ve met several white people by the name of Sunday… however never in my life have I ever met a girl named Wednesday other than the one that lived near Walbrook Junction. Bonsheequa… that name is shit plain terrible. I suppose her parents thought they knew French? Maybe they thought it was nice to make a French-Neo-Ghetto-Soul name? Not in my book… and considering that girl was a bitch on top of it, I’m almost certain she hated her life just because of her name.

Name Bastardization = Epic Fail.

17 03 2008
creativecat

Mercedes was a girls’ name before it was a luxury car (the car was named for one of the owner’s daughters) so I don’t think that name fits in the same category as Prada or Chanel.

17 03 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

Ok, this is the sixth goddamn comment/email I’ve gotten about this topic…

I was well aware before I wrote this post that Mercedes, Chanel, and Prada were actual names before they became attached to luxury goods. My beef with Luxury Latch On names lies in the motivation behind naming children with these names, not the names themselves.

The motivation for most idiots who name their daughters ‘Chanel’, ‘Prada’, and ‘Mercedes’ isn’t to honor the personality traits of Coco Chanel, Mario Prada, or Emil Jellinek’s 9 year old daughter. They give them these names because of the consumer brands they represent, which is fucking stupid.

Good God let this be the last I hear about it…

17 03 2008
La'Sha'Ja'Da

KJ~ I describe those names as having an “unnecessary prefix”.

My name is very old Anglo Saxon (white). If you can read English, you can pronounce it. However, as a black American female, I must say that other black Americans have the greatest struggle with my name. Ironically, it’s always Marveeta or Da’quairius that can’t say my name.

FTR: Keyshia is pronounced “kee-shee-ah” in English.

Worst.Names.Ever…

Utrinkle; Dijonnaise (girls). I’m not kidding.

17 03 2008
A Nony Mouse

I went to school with mostly noveau riche white kids, and I can assure you that the names I encountered were not any less ridiculous than LaLa or Shaquan. Some examples of names of white girls I went to school with:

Lakey
Petey
Buffy
Jennifa
Micole
Michelin

I think their parents were hoping for strippers.

17 03 2008
Admiral Furious

Since the comments on this post seem to have degraded to making this running fucking joke (instead of a pontification on ridiculousness) I’d like to reiterate that other names deemed by other races are equal monstrosities as the topic at hand. To pull from the eloquent description that the original author here has stated, Asians and Indians name their children seemingly in reference to various bodily function noises during conception and birth. I find the irony of such belligerent individuals named Runjit or Bik joking and degrading Knoshawn for his name both hilarious and plain stupid. What the fuck is a Chi? How about we take this Indian name on for size (literally) RAMESH VENKATASUBRUMANIAN

My point is… yes we as black people have done some really stupid things when naming our children… but maybe its a sub culture? Maybe its not. But anyone who isn’t black poking fun at a black name, while their own is Felmaiboh Mohammed needs to simply shut the fuck up.

17 03 2008
Admiral Furious

Oh and speaking of Mohammad (Mohamed or however you spell the shit)… considering the state of affairs in this country, I wouldn’t be surprised if Daekwon would get hired first.

17 03 2008
www.anythingblack.wordpress.com

We all know that asians get their name from throwing a pan down the stairs and listening to the sounds

ping pong pang motherfucka

naw j/p but niggas be trippen tho

17 03 2008
Chelle

I worked in child support enforcement and the names I encountered were ridiculous and Exhibit 1 in legislation to not allow crackheads to name their children without help. We had Beautifull (yes 2 lls) with a half sister SoFine. There was Dwaynesha; Na’ausha (father Nathaniel); interestingly Na’ausha was a twin with a brother Nathaniel, Jr, which blood tests revealed to not be in fact Nathaniel Jr, so the twins had different fathers — CLASSY.

My mother also works with ‘us’, specifically Katrina folks displaced to Houston. She came across a child named Blue Chip.

We.Need.Help.

18 03 2008
Jamerican Muslimah

No joke, I was just talking about someone who named their child Killer! WTH?

18 03 2008
molecularshyness

So my ex-step-cousin named his most recent child [with his most recent baby-mama] Dasani. Yes. Like the water.

My dad, having worked in community health, got to make a home visit one time, to a mother whose daughter’s name was Gonorrhea [pronounced Guh-NOR-ria]. So, really, I don’t think La La is that bad.

18 03 2008
timarasa

molecularshyness, are you from florida? my friend’s mother worked as a nurse in a public health clinic years back and helped deliver a baby girl who the mother named “gonorrhea” (coincidentally another woman tried to name her new baby “chlamydia”; the obstetrician on-call was able to dissuade her). same girl??
anywho, sometimes names that i thought may had been made up were not, particularly more obscure arabic names. but it doesn’t really matter whether they are legit or not, right? b/c to some random white dude reviewing job apps, there’s no distinction between a “kadeem” or a “ladamian”, or a “rashida” or a “shenaynay” –>he just reads “black”…next. that attitude MUST change. and to the author of this blog: you passed up an intelligent, beautiful, young black woman just b/c her name was “lala”? give me a damn break.
**and no, “timarasa” is just a handle (which does mean something) and not my actual name (which also means something)

18 03 2008
Admiral Furious

There was someone in Baltimore who attempted to name their child Chlamydia and that mess made it on the radio… so a similar case in Florida comes as no surprise to me.

As a retort in reference to passing up on the girl named La La or Lala or whatever… I truly wonder if that was her real name in the first place. I’ve experienced plenty of women who lie about their name to me when I’ve tried to talk to them… and simply dismiss them once the smell of bullshit becomes overwhelming. On a second note… considering the girl was working at Kenneth Cole, yet was probably over the age of 25 or so… what would she truly have to offer an entrepreneur? Yes, it sounds wrong to say… but realistically, lets face the facts: if she took an interest in the author and attempted to build a relationship it might be fused by money (that is assuming the author has any… but he shops at Kenneth Cole so why not?) and second… if her full time job is working at Kenneth Cole while the author does whatever he does… what kind of relationship would that turn out to be?

18 03 2008
IDONTLIKETHATWORD

I’m black, and have a very “regular” name. Some names of kids at the school that I teach: Kaswanna, Rommorzehia, Dantario, Myquan, Kiquan (pronounced Kee-won the qu is silent), Jacquis, Orlando, Miyoshi.

Black people have taken Miyoshi and they pronounce it Mee-yosh-a. I don’t know one Asian person named Miyoshi.

We also like to take traditional names and give them F’ed up spellings. For example, Tiffany becomes Tiphanie.
Jessica becomes Jesyka.
Jalen can be spelled Jaylen, Jalin, Jaelin, Jaylin, and Jaylinne.

19 03 2008
Raven

Naming a person all comes down to the language. (This is just a ridiculous example of a “Chinese Name” that most Americnas will tell you exists) Ching Chong may sound funny to you in America, but atleast in Chinese it has a meaning that isn’t something stupid. Laquesha has no meaning in the english language and just doesn’t belong at all. I have a friend who has an arabic name but her last name is arabic as well so it does make a difference rather than someone with an arabic first names and an english last name, who will be pointed out immediately as black.

19 03 2008
bdsista

Kenneth should have not been so narrow and snotty,LaLa did not nameherself and to hate on her because of her name is not cool. He may have missed out on a lovely, intelligent, caring, kind sexy, loving person because his dumbass, can’t get past her name. I hope she turns out to be the most fabulous person ever and then he can slap himself for being narrow minded, and judgemental.
Now
got a girlfriend name Cindy (father is Sidney-they thought she would be a boy)
ex-husband, Anthony, twin brother Antonio (scrambled for a name, thought brother would be a girl)

the worst I heard was a girl in Atlanta who was watching the news during labor and delivery and named her girl “Ayatollah” because there was a news story on the Ayatollah Khomeni and she thought that name was pretty.
School child in Atlanta whose name is pronounced Shi-teed, spelled “shithead”
I have met a Deontrinese. FYI, as an attorney, I can tell you that legalname changes are pretty easy to do and inexpensive. In MD they run from $80-100.

20 03 2008
LA to VA

bdsista, I have a regular ass name and when I would go to my granny’s house in the South as a kid (Montgomery, Alabama) during the summer, I would be surrounded with cousins, neighborhood kids, and their cousins with these questionable ass names. I was always made fun of because I didn’t have a fucked up name, they felt that my name was too white. So what’s the difference.

My pet peeve though is people who have a regular name and they try to make it fucked up. Example, I met a girl who pronounced her name “DE-BOAR-A”. But, what is her name, uh…Deborah. I was like yeah, Debbie, whatever…

It’s just going to get worse, I wonderhow many little girls are being names Beyonce right now…

21 03 2008
Tiffany

My parents are Chinese and they named me after the jewelry store so that I’d get a husband “who can afford me”. Huge WTF there, but at least it’s relatively common and normal and racially ambiguous.

21 03 2008
Tanisha

You forgot another category: Liquor. I know of people who named their child Courvosier (sp). *shaking my head*

Others include: Alize and Remy

21 03 2008
nkitajolie

the ones that really get me are the theme names…my father was an elementary school principal in Baltimore City and he encountered:

triplets: yesterday, today, and tomorrow
twins: audacious and bodacious (unfortunately, bodacious was the boy)

*smh*

24 03 2008
ennuianomie

Swahili Bastardizations
Megalomaniacal Descriptors
Luxury Latch-Ons
The Unfathomably Ridiculous

Brilliant! I love this post. Just watch Maury Povitch for a week and see the names fall into place.

24 03 2008
Mr. Smith

MY number one favorite…

Abcde (pronounced Ab-seh-dee)

24 03 2008
Seven

I’m so glad to read that I am not the only one who has concerns about what names are given to children. I still can’t believe what Chelle wrote, but hey why would she lie? When I was in undergrad, I attended a conference in Virginia and befriended a very nice young lady. She was smart and funny, but there was one thing that she felt held her back…her name. Reluctantly, she told me her real name after an hour of conversation: Shardonnay.

25 03 2008
bluedoll

Someone pronounce these names for me:
Xyquavious and Xyshanae.

Save the creativeness for the middle name and go with a regular name for the first name. I CRINGE when I see some of these names my clients give their kids. NO long term thought goes into them at all. I thought about my daughter’s name for 6 months before I settled on one.

My first name is unusual, but not uncommon, if that makes sense. My middle name is common. My nickname, which is what I prefer to be called, is very common. Mommy. 🙂

26 03 2008
kay*

I literally laughed out loud. I know people right lol all the time – myself included – but I actually laughed out loud. This is hilarious.
You’ve got a new reader!

26 03 2008
kay*

..i meant ‘write’ not right. whoops 🙂 laughing too hard.

26 03 2008
nujerudevil

So far this is the most interesting post I’ve read this week.

Swahili Bastardizations
Megalomaniacal Descriptors
Luxury Latch-Ons
The Unfathomably Ridiculous…….If you live or lived in the Tri-State area you truely understand this post!

26 03 2008
Rashidah

Actually, “Rashida” or “Rashidah” is not an obscure Arabic name by any stretch of the imagination. Its more ghettoized versions may be. I attended Spelman and graduated with no less than 5 ladies with this name. There were many more who graduated before us. My last name is an English name, but most believe that I am from the Middle East, or at minimum a practicing Muslim more than African American… and they are quite surprised when I show up.

26 03 2008
JoseOle

Mercedes was a name before it became a car, I think it was named for the owner of the companies daughter or something like that.

Sorry I had to be an ass.

26 03 2008
Alison

When I went to name my daughter, someone suggested I name her Levitra. I was like “yeah, after the ED medication? I think not.”

So glad I gave her a resume name…

I have a name that is considered “white,” but I would rather be called Alison then Ar’janee any day!

27 03 2008
knaturalbeauty

I love this one. I’m black and have a virtue name (see http://www.namenerds.com/uucn/virtue.html for a list) and people act like they can’t pronounce or spell my name, though it’s a regular English word. People assume I/my family must be European, African, or Caribbean since Black Americans couldn’t possibly give their children normal or ‘white’ names. Out of the categories you mentioned, the Swahili Bastardizations and URs are THE WORST. I hate the thought that when I’m 80 years old, they’ll be a bunch of Zeshauns and Quaneshas complaining about teenagers and pushing walkers.

27 03 2008
nacinimod

The thing that bothers me the most would be naming your child (girls), after there fathers in rediculous fashion. I have read other responding about this subject in the sma regard, but fuck it i’m putting my two cents in. for example:

Johnny= johnay
Robert= Roberta
Freddrick= Fredderik’
worst of all has to be… George= Georgetta!

Common now, lets find a better way to honor the father of a child… possibly by becoming successful and making Roland proud (that he didn’t name you Rolanda)

i’m just sayin’…

27 03 2008
lajanegalt

knatural~ I took a second look…. MY NAME IS ON THE LIST!!!! LMBAO.

No, I’m not Quintesessence.

I can say now, “I have a virtue name”.

27 03 2008
knaturalbeauty

I’m so glad it’s not Quintessence! That’s automatically Black.
You probably still get the bewildered looks and questions – “why they name you that?”
I just noticed that Serenity is on the virtue names list and under Megalomaniacal Descriptors, so what does that mean?

27 03 2008
Blessed to be Brown-Skinned!

wow…what a post!

My name is definately deemed “white” and ppl claim they’re never met a Black girl with my name, even though I happen to know several girls with my name as well…and when I tell people what my name is, I get an incredulous look of non-belief every.single.time or a “your name is what?!“. My name is Chelsea…its actually pronounced (according to my mom) as Chel-see-uh, but when the average person reads it on paper, they just say “Chel-see” and usually i don’t correct them. Very few ppl actually come up with “Chel-see-uh” on their own without any help from me, but when I introduce myself as “Chel-see-uh” I find that most ppl complain that it’s hard to pronounce (wtf?) or hard to remember (are u kidding me?)

I once had a teacher is high school…an elderly-almost white man from upstate New York who couldn’t remember my name for the first 3-4 months of school! I told him it was “Chel-see” from day 1 just to make his life easier. Do u know that this man told me he couldn’t remember my name becuz it didn’t “fit” me? He said I look like I should have a more “exotic” name…exotic meaning GHETTO! But my friend Kenyetta that sat behind me never got her name forgotten. The names of all the Black ppl in the class:

Chelsea
Kenyetta
Amanda
Christian
Charlotte
Brandon

And he couldn’t remember mine??

My first and last names read very “white” and it doesn’t help that I speak correct English and have a wide vocabulary either and sound “white” on the phone. Whenever sumone (ie jobs, doctors seting up appointments, interviews, etc) speaks to me over the phone and learns my name they expect a white chick. When I show up…dark-skinned Black chick, long colorful nails, very, very short styled hair and a Monroe piercing…they’re shocked every time! Lol…My future kids name? Bryant Kendall and Jayla Simone. Shoo-in for high-profile jobs right?

No one ever truly believes that my birth name is Chelsea! They say I look like I should have sum UR name probably…I don’t know. i love my name. I always get an interview! lol…my mom did well with us…Robert, Kenneth and Chelsea. Our middle names are pretty Black tho!

27 03 2008
Lurker #110

The etymology of Mercedes as a female name:

Mercedes is a character from Alexandre Dumas’ novel, The Count of Monte Cristo. As the betrothed of Edmond Dantes, she is the embodiment of pure love and pure womanhood, although when Dantes is imprisoned she quickly marries another.

Mercedes next appears in James Joyce’s novel, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man as an imaginary charater in the mind of the main charater Stephen. Stephen imagines her as the ideal woman he longs to meet in reality.

That said, I KNOW at least 99.9% of the Mercedes running around didn’t get their names from either of these books!

27 03 2008
lorraine smith

I have a niece whose daughter named her son…get this

prince suleem aleem zupreem and get that last name…jones…

needless to say, most of the family wonders what drugs she was on

27 03 2008
Ken

In the rush to get African-sounding names, we actually are throwing away names that are African. Effie and Essie are West African Names that we now consider old-timey. The irony is those names are directly from West Africa. I think the point is that we need to study and read more. Here’s another thing, plenty of Blacks elsewhere, specifically Africa and the Caribbean, have European names since they were colonized. How many us of know West Indians named Ethan and Nigel? Or how about Africans named Pierre, Dieudonne, Guy, and Francois? Ultimately, the more global we become the less the distinctions we cling to really remain relevant. I did teach a girl whose name was “Reminisce” and her sister who was a year or two ahead had the name “Perhaps.” So, I don’t know what in the hell their mother was thinking.

27 03 2008
london

why is everyone hung up on the name mercedes…
same group as britney..
please read spbh comment about this at 03:19:41 before enlightening us again…
i know someone who named her son otis as she was in the lift/elevator when he started enter this world… luckily she was not on the bus or at the zoo or in the supermarket or something… heinz, lion, trafalgar, anybody?
the names ‘perhaps’ and reminisce’ kill me… the kids better be a good runners or good fighters.. kids are cruel…

28 03 2008
amanoh

ooh ooh, not like it matters, but in colloquial mandarin “lala” means lesbian or engaging in acts of lesbianism… (in reference to first segment)

28 03 2008
Deliwe

And this is why people with legitimate African names catch it worst of all. WP look at you as just another “qwa” and BP think your mama made up your name and want to name their baby your last name!

28 03 2008
Martha

My friend is an OB-GYN, he says one of his patients named her daughter Placenta.

28 03 2008
Glorious (it was my grandmama's name)

Random Comments:
Mr. Smith – I’ve also met an Ab-seh-dee, but spelled Abcd instead of Abcde.

I was in middle school with a Brandy, who had a brother named KaVazee-A.

How many people know girls named Akwanett/Aquanetta? I went to college with at least six, all with different spellings.

I went to college in New Orleans, and when I did orientation for my volunteers for a youth outreach program, I always told them to make a conscious effort not to laugh when the kids introduced themselves.

Roll call: Ty-Qyeeshaa, LaDaisyyyah, JoTayja, Sulfuaytah (Yes, Sulfur-8. WTF???), Morkwosa, EtCetraa. I didn’t misspell et cetera, that was a name.

But seriously, white people- Whisper? MaidenDust? MoonStar? Daydream? May they’ll grow up to be psychics.

28 03 2008
black man without college degree...

Now, with this i agree…. i hate pointless names, i really think everyone should.

28 03 2008
Pat

My nieces and nephews has Hawaiian and “white” names and thank God they aren’t ghetto; except one of them has a country name (Lilyanna) which isn’t that bad — she can still get a job. But I know some people with some terrible and ghetto names that you can’t do anything but shake your head at.

Tajay
Pili (Swahili name but He can’t even speak Swahili)
Jowanna
Diamond
De’Arieus
Shikiriah
Shikimia
Ikimia
Precious
Nadiyah
Princess
Jelela
Nitajo (mixture of Anita & Joseph)

And those talking about the luxury names — these are usually last names and the not first names — Chanel is the last name and not a first name of the person who started the brand. It makes a different. I know a Chanel and I don’t think its that bad but still. Yeah, white people got some off the wall names too but they will still get by because they have privilege. We are not so fortunate as a group of people to have that; I have a regular name and ‘Pat’ ain’t it.

28 03 2008
namakemono

re “Black people have taken Miyoshi and they pronounce it Mee-yosh-a. I don’t know one Asian person named Miyoshi”

Miyoshi (mee-yoh-shee) is a surname in Japan

28 03 2008
Deva

My parents named me Deva (pronounced like Diva). It’s a little ridiculous and I absolutely hate the questions (is that your REAL name? how do you spell it? is it short for something?…) but it’s totally not my fault I have this crazy uncommon name. I’m not sure if it qualifies as a stupid name or not, though.

29 03 2008
ninamosley

don’t hate on LaLa for her parent’s doing. but i agree with most of the blog. i especially hate when people name their child a common name but spell it hella different (a set up for failure) such as Lisa, but spell it “Lee-Sah”. WTH?
I especially hate naming your child after:
liquor: hennesey
cars: lexus
designer clothing: armani (but then spell it ugly, like: R’Moni or Aurmoney. Eww!
feeling: “nicely done”
nickname: “misstuesday” (that’s the worse, sorry girl)
i don’t mind being original, but damn.

29 03 2008
Lester

A few years ago, I taught at a correctional institution for teenage girls. The number of girls with made-up names (especially Swahili bastardizations) was amazing. I now teach at a college and find that a much lower percentage of students have those types of made-up names. If there is a correlation, it probably has more to do with the parental state of mind and consequent upbringing than with the effect of going through life with an unusual and possibly unfortunate name.

For most of my adult life I used the name “Hakeem” before returning a few years ago to “Lester” – the name my parents had given me. I am still the same person, and I have not noticed any difference in the way people respond to me.

29 03 2008
omi

my mom was a teacher, so i’ve heard plenty of craziness over the years.

for the record, i’d like to say that i’ve met plenty of africans with names like “harmony”, “mercy”, etc… of course, they’ve been giving children the equivalent of “virtue” names in yoruba, twi, etc for centuries, but colonization & religious conversion took it to a whole other level.

i’ve also noticed that a lot of the “bastardized swahili” and quasi-african names are REALLY close to sanskrit/hindu ones. don’t ask me why, but if you start looking thru a list, you’ll see what i mean…

i’m with the person who said that if we’re gonna make the names unusual, at least let’s make sure they have true meaning behind them.

30 03 2008
FallenStarNBabylon

Preach!! And may the congregation say, AMEN!

I went to school with girls who were actually born with the names: Startisha, Quiesha,Linquitta and of course bet the 9th – 12th grades you had your Shaniqua’s (9 of them to be exact)!

31 03 2008
DrunkPanda

I know a black guy named Aswad. The day I met him was the greatest day of my life

31 03 2008
lisaturtle

This hurts to admit… My mother name my brother Shongo LeCarr (WHAT THE FUCK) and Javari DeJuan (although I like the Javari part). Somehow, I was named Jasmine (thankfully). The ghettotrocities do not end there…

My brother wants to name his future seed (if it is a boy) “Partion” pronounced “Party On.” YEAH.

WAIT! Children my father had that are not my mother’s: Tarica (sp.), LaContio (sp.), Vatara, and other shit I forgot how to spell/pronounce.

It does not end! I have a cousin named Tremanica Tremell (sp.) and another named Cassonya Cazette and Datrion. WHY.

I know a girl named “Shacrowsha” who was named after her father’s nickname, “Crow.” She looks like how a Shacrowsha sounds too.

I have another named Kelvaris (a girl.)

I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS.

31 03 2008
jasminflower

Just to add to the melting pot of ridiculous and shamefully ebonic names, I used to know a woman by the name of Skynetta Sunkista. That’s her first and middle name. I never found out what her last name was. She went by the name Sky and she was a stripper. Hmm. Makes you wonder.

31 03 2008
Fitness Diva

Lisaturtle….I had to calm myself down after a full two minutes of LMAO!

Oh my God….. Your family takes the cake! I wouldn’t be able to call out anybody’s name at a family get together without busting out laughing!!! I’d be disowned QUICK!

But my family has its own dumb ass name hall of shame:

I have a niece named Mercedes
another one Dejenae
her brother Deyshawn
we also have a Shandu
oh, and a Shandalyn
One of the little girls in the hood is named Tusheera
my nephew Keyon, not to be confused with my cousin Kenya (which is at least a country).
But my cousin Danita took the cake when she went WAY out the box and named her only son Mario. Mario can rest assured that he is the only black boy in North Carolina with that Italian name. Gotta at least give her points for non ghetto conformist originality on THAT tip!

Love the word “ghettotrocities”. I’m stealing it! 😉

31 03 2008
Fitness Diva

Another thing….Black Brits and Jamaicans with these ridiculously stuffy English names:

A dude named Wadsworth
Ellington
Regisford
Audwin
Billingsley
Codrington
Windsor
Wallingford
Chauncey
Queenly (one for the girls. And she didn’t look that queenly to me)

These are the names of black brits and caribbean men (and one girl) that I know of.
Ridiculous to see a big, strong, black man walking around with the name Billingsley or Wadsworth!!! Okay??? By the way, that last one can inspire quite a low minded joke or two…. 😉

31 03 2008
Glorious (it was my grandmama's name)

Fitness Diva –

I am one of the folks you’re talking about. As a descendant of Jamaicans, my brood includes Barrington, Kingsley and Ellsworth. I am expecting a Lola any day now.

31 03 2008
london

a cautionary tale..there was a kid murdered over here last year called jesse james..
my mum said that poor child was doomed from day one…
she was horrified at the stupidity of the parents…. and said nothing good could come of having a name like that..
there is a lot of truth there…

1 04 2008
N

Please don’t forget the nature names: River, Stone, Forrest.

Soap Opera names: Brock, Ridge.

The title type of names: Sir, Mister, Bishop, Prince, Duke, Reverend, Doctor.

And my all time fav: Epidural. Just like the shot.

1 04 2008
Subway Guy Ruined My Name

I for one applaud your use of set theory.

1 04 2008
Always hated my name

Although I was and remain a big fan of Frank’s, I can never completely forgive him for “Moonunit” and “Dweezil.” WTF was he thinking?

2 04 2008
benjie

hey erica c.
thats my name exactly! its good to hear about another girl named morgan, there’s not that many.

the other day while at work i noticed a form that was signed by a woman named “epifanie”

*sigh*

4 04 2008
Kara

Ken: I know you said Effie was a West African name, but does it have any North African influence? I knew an Israeli girl named Effie (and a lot of Arabic and Hebrew words share similar roots, so I’m curious if it has any tie to Semetic language).

Also, as a young female professional, I’m a bit amazed that LaLa has not changed her name legally (or adopted a “professional” name that is not her legal one)–we get enough crap from sexist middle-aged men without having to overcome extra hurdles like “unprofessional” names!

I don’t recall who said it, but I agree that changing the spellings of traditional names makes me twitch a bit. I once met a woman with my name (which, as I understand it, is a Greek derivative of Catherine) and spelled it Kharah. I admit I kind of stared at her for a bit after she spelled it for me.

Also–it’s odd how some virtue names are considered “traditional” and some aren’t, to the point where some similar names are considered acceptable. I don’t think too many people look askance at a Harmony, Hope, or Faith, but Charity is outdated, Chastity is frankly insulting, and Patience or Serenity get counted as Meglomaniacal Descriptors. At least on this site, that is.

Also: “I’d rather be keelhauled” made me smile.

5 04 2008
omi

N,

interesting that you mention the soap opera names. i have to admit, i’ve always associated those w/ broke whitefolk. lol.

i kinda like the “sir”, “king”, etc idea…i wouldn’t do it, but i understand it. kind of a slap in the face to anyone who would disrespect because they’re black and/or a reminder of when blk folk weren’t allowed those titles in most social situations. plus, they typically have a “regular” middle name and will mainly go by that, e.g., Sir Charles Johnson would probably just be Charles to most folks.

my grandfather’s name was Earl Major now that i think of it. two titles. didn’t help him in the army, but that’s another story.

that’s a quirk i can accept on some level.

6 04 2008
laniro79

I must say that I have been saddled with a name that is consistently jacked-up and should be listed under a ‘ghettotrocity’. It’s spelled La Shunna, but pronounced la-shaw-na. How you get the ‘a’ out the ‘u’ is beyond my understanding, but I’m rolling with it. Unfortunately, my name is more frequently pronounced the way it’s spelled, la-shun-na, or la-shoe-na (retarded) and what I’m finding more frequent is la-shawn-da (I have no idea where that d comes from). I must also state that i frequently get compliments from white people regarding my name, especially white women but I ‘ve had other black women laugh at my name (trifflin heffas!!)

Now that I have two children, I’ve decided that I would do them a great justice by not giving them a ghetto-fabulous name (plus, since my husband is spanish, I don’t think he nor his crew could roll with that). My daugher is Jolie, and no not for the crazy actress. Jolie is actually the french word for pretty and my little girl is most definitely that times 10. She’s 7 and already has little boys trying to holla at her. Thank GOD that she still thinks boys are yucky. My son’s name is Xavier. His name doesn’t mean anything special, but it’s neither common or unfathomably ridiculous. Unfortunately, whenever he goes somewhere where his name has to be called out, it’s always pronounced Javier (he has a spanish last name) and when the person sees me with him, they give me the crazy side-eye like I stole the boy. Nw you know we as black folks don’t like children (i personally think my kids are ok since I’m not afraid to beat the snot out of them when they act up, but I can’t stand other people’s children and I absolutely loathe teenagers).

7 04 2008
Anonymiss

Cut Carmello some slack. His name’s Latin and he is part Puerto Rican. Anfernee is on point. LaDanian, JeMarcus, Antwone — WTH?

8 04 2008
molecularshyness

No, I’m not from FL. My father met the Gonorrhea girl’s mother in NJ. (And I’ve also heard that Chlamydia is becoming popular.) But wow – I had no idea ‘Abcde’ was that popular. That’s gotta be the laziest name I’ve ever heard.

Still laughing about Epidural. [I wonder how many have been named directly after the anesthesiologist.]

8 04 2008
Lynn

I totally agree with this post. I was just talking to my friend about this the other day. I was saying that what you name your child really does determine their fate in the future. I said imagine your childs name on a business card, would it look good? I highly doubt Alazay Jones would look good or, Sugar Johnson. I would think it was a business card for a stripper. LOL I told myself I might just go ahead and name my child something unisex such as Terry, or Casey or something so people wouldn’t even know their SEX. LOL

8 04 2008
shay

LOL I cant believe how many people actually researched names and lineage to post a comment. This site is now official one of my favorites! LMAO

8 04 2008
shay

sorry I was crying from laughter and cheap mascara and forgot the “ly” on official….

9 04 2008
Anmarie
9 04 2008
Choco_Gnome

Lets not forget all the girls named after their parents choice of alcohol

Brandy
Sherry
Moet (was a business major @ my school back in undergrad)
Alize
Kijafa (as in Cherry Kijafa)

9 04 2008
Kim

Mercedes is a legit name. The car company borrowed it from the people but I agree with you that this modern tread would argue that it’s the reverse.

10 04 2008
Tashina

I went to high school with a girl named Toshiba-like the tvs……..hmmmm……I also went to school with a guy named Roach (last name, but still it’s not like he’s Marvin Gaye and can just add an “e”). I would legally change my name.

At my former college there are two people who bear the name “Sweetmeat.” I am not even lying. There’s also a woman named Velvetta.

Let’s not forgot the name Hennessey, although I think that is better than naming your child Crown Royal.

I also have to add that I hate the name Chastity. It’s just a stupid name.

12 04 2008
Keylolo

Which set of names sucks more:

A)
Daughter-Peyton or Harlem
Son- Kyan

OR

B)
Daughter-Leelah or Valentina
Son- Solomon

…I’m pretty sure if somone doesn’t answer this question, a child is going to be running around with either one or all of these names–as one word.

12 04 2008
Dr. Pickles

My brother has two bi-racial sons, Jameson and Jarrod (pronounced like Jared, not Juh-Rod…it’s my bro’s middle name…but, yeah) the oldest of whom is in pre-K.
When he started school, he was sent home with a list of names of the kids that rode with him on the school bus. My brother showed me this list and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry (there were two kids named La’Quavious and D’antravius). Some months later, I accompanied my brother to pick Jameson up from school. We arrived earlier than normal and his teacher told us we could hang around for the remaining few minutes of class. After the bell rang, my brother approached the teacher and we introduced ourselves. The subject of the list came up and the teacher shook his head and said that the biggest problem with these “unique” names was the fact that the kids couldn’t spell them. It’s a Pre-K requirement in my state for the kids to be able to write their names. The teacher asked how in the world a 4 year old child is supposed to learn to spell a name with 3 apostrophes and two Q’s. He said it was heartbreaking to see a child staring at a sheet of paper, unable to spell his or her name and that it instills an early apathy towards even trying to complete other tasks. After all, if everyone knows you can’t even spell your own name, what use is it to try to do other schoolwork?

Fucking tragic.

15 04 2008
-Nomad by Nature-

White people are neck in neck w/ black people in the race of giving the shittiest names on the planet to their wee ones.

Ex:

Queen Messiah Jesus Christ
Legend
Gypsy
Ice Key
Xoi Phantasia
Loyalti
Saviour
Miracle Divine
A’Risin Starr

16 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Kimberly Elise… the star of “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” and “The Manchurian Candidate” also hails in the ranks of the idiot parents giving their children stupid names.

Please navigate to the following:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0253708/bio

Her children are AjaBleu, 14 and Butterfly, 6

completely unacceptable.

17 04 2008
Shadow Star

Quanshay Shetory….I shit you not.

17 04 2008
Shareefa Lateefah Jackson

OH, NO YOU DID-INT! *swaying head from side to side*

19 04 2008
Nice

My nephews name is Qeontice (pronounced Keontise) Romique Jordan. I also have a cousin named Quaquasha. What is it with these Q’s? Is that like some kind of magical letter that the rest of us havn’t yet unlocked the key to? And yes, I spelled my nephews name correct. I also thought that U always comes after Q. But not when youre tryin to be “unique”.

21 04 2008
Charlee

See today’s post!
http://stuffebplike.com

22 04 2008
JustWrong

My mom was a teacher. Most of them badasses so I heard my share of messed up names. One of my personal faves:

Lo’re’al.

The cosmetics company with apostrophes thrown to make it pretty.

Did not see a mention of the 19 year old charged with murder of the DC area music producer last year:

Neiman Marcus Reynolds

Let us bow our heads…

22 04 2008
bbyckes

It is definitely tragic when a child can’t even spell their own name (piggy backing off Dr. Pickle’s post). When will it end?

I’m fortunate that there isn’t a lot of craziness in my family. One of my cousins named her child, NaShay, a combination of the father’s name (Nathaniel) and the mother’s name (Shanay). Her other two children are named Tia and Dailus (pronounced Dallas).

My son’s name is unique but acceptable, Colden (named after the protaganist in, “The Catcher in the Rye”, Holden Caulfied. His middle name is Avery.

I know very “white” of me, but I wanted to ensure that his resume wouldn’t be put to the bottom of the pack!

22 04 2008
N

Subway- set theory is aways useful.

Omi- your Granddad’s name is not weird or unusual. I once dated a hot guy named Earl.

I do understand the respect thing but these days, “Sir Johnson” is not exactly cutting it.

23 04 2008
cmoore

Thank God my parents saved me the embarrassment of being named after an unknown pile of shit found at the bottom of a porta-potty, although being a black woman named Christine isnt all that great either….so i am pretty much fucking stuck.

24 04 2008
Merri Lee

Oh HELL no. Just like Nic Cage, the chick from the Steve Harvey Show named her son Kal’El, Superman’s birth name. Why?

25 04 2008
Mike

Ehthiopian and Eritrean names have meaning, and many are wonderful, especially the girls–“Aregua” she entwines my heart “Mintuab” how could she be ornamented? (she is so perfect), Fana, glorious dawn. Boyd have names like “Sheferra” he caused them to fear or “Asfawossen” he expanded the empire. Now, those are names!

25 04 2008
Kylie

Obviously you are unaware that Mercedes is an old, traditional Catholic name.

25 04 2008
stuffblackpeoplehate

“Obviously you are unaware that Mercedes is an old, traditional Catholic name.”

Obviously you are too fucking stupid to realize that I never said Mercedes wasn’t a real name.

A smart person would’ve read the other comments and seen my explanation behind ‘Mercedes’ before making the obvious assertion that Mercedes is a real name – since with nearly 100 comments on this post someone was bound to be as dumb as you and point out the flaws in an argument I didn’t even make.

I wonder if you and all the idiots like you that are coming after me RE: Mercedes realize that Prada and Chanel are also real names…because I mention them in the same sentence yet you fail to mention them in your argument.

How’s that false sense of intelligence working out for you, by the way?

Moron.

25 04 2008
dynamicdiva

Chris you kill me!

25 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Wait I’m confused now. Are we just talking about names because they’re stupid or if the “exist”? If someone has a ridiculous name that is indeed their name, doesn’t that make it real? We had to get it from somewhere correct? I don’t know, Chris or AF point me in the right direction please.

25 04 2008
Dawn

I work in an elementary school and I have run across some absolutely horrendous names of the children in my school. I feel so bad for them as they go through life:

Germareya (pronounced just like it’s spelled at least)

Kedar (pronounced Kee-dare, I kid you not) (oh and this is a girl’s name)

Davine (pronounced like divine- and it’s the name of a boy)

Kai (like kite without the -te. Another BOY. poor child)

Wrandii (Randy. Another boy. No lie. Spelled like this because his older brother was already named Randy and if you have the same name you can’t spell it the same now, can you?)

Jermiah (a girl who will be called Jeremiah her whole life no doubt)

Heaven (a white girl no less)

Chanse (spelled wrong, of course because that will make having an idiotic name easier on him)

Lulu (seriously on her birth certificate)

Chiquita (Like the banana)

And my favorite…
Concepceon (french but looks like the word conception, which is what he forever will be called on rosters in school)

But you can’t leave out the names of celebrities’ children who just give parents more encouragement to name their children something ridiculous. At least Hollywood babies are Hollywood royalty. You’re just some shmuck working at the dry cleaners in Georgia!

25 04 2008
Sister Toldja

I saw a little girl named BEYONCE the other day. I wanted to fight her parents on the spot. There are a lot of Aaliyah’s named for the late singer, but at least that is a beautiful, Muslim name that existed far before R.Kelly’s young prey was born. Beyonce is a ghetto-ass fake Creole name that her parents created from her mother’s maiden name. It only works because she is famous. Beyonce Jenkins from Brooklyn, NY is gonna have a rough road ahead of her.

25 04 2008
dynamicdiva

@Wrandii (Randy. Another boy. No lie. Spelled like this because his older brother was already named Randy and if you have the same name you can’t spell it the same now, can you?)

Are kidding me?!

25 04 2008
Otis Ramby

Equally annoying are the self-aggrandizing people who insist you call them by both thier mother and fathers family names, like Joe Smith-Simpson, or Mary Jones-Davidson. As if we can’t figure it out that they have both a mother and a father.

Another mostly white people name stupidity are those who insist they be referred to with both thier given first name and thier nickname like “Bob” William Davis.

Peole just love to annoy others with thier names.

25 04 2008
Mark

If you dumped a perfectly fine girl because her name is La La, I think you’re an idiot. Sure, it’s not the most intelligent-sounding name, but if you like the girl, who cares what your mother or your friends think?

25 04 2008
Serena

The worst naming that I ever heard was done by a tenant of mine. She was white but her children were mixed race and apparently she, very poorly, wanted to fit in by naming her children weird names. Her oldest daughter was named Tyranny. I am sure there are worse things that one could name a child but that is pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel.

25 04 2008
Lee

In my home town a girl was named ka9drah. With the number 9 actually in her name! It was not a typo in announcement in the paper, the paper included a caption below it saying “yes, you it is spelling like that.” Poor kid is screwed for life!

25 04 2008
Chris

“But anyone who isn’t black poking fun at a black name, while their own is Felmaiboh Mohammed needs to simply shut the fuck up.”

First, you’re saying people who ARE NOT making fun of black names should shut the fuck up. Very nice.

Second, I suppose it’s easy for you to hate on names with real cultural significance and meaning when ignorant black folk are throwing syllables into their childrens’ names in an attempt to disguise their lack of cultural knowledge. Jealous much? or are you just ignorant too?

Last, how thin must your skin be, to be able to dish out without being able to take back? It’s okay to make fun of ‘Abdul Mohammed Jihad Turban-head’ or ‘Ping Pong Ting Tong’, but if they raise their voice once, you gotta play the victim don’t you?

Being Vietnamese myself, I know firsthand how ridiculous our names sound to outsiders and I didn’t even take any personal offense as a Vietnamese, but I take it in stride hoping that others won’t be sensitive about their shit when I poke fun at them. Good job, you proved me wrong.

Why don’t you try manning up and stop being a lil bitch?

25 04 2008
knaturalbeauty

@Lee – that’s like that Russell Peters joke where he met a guy with an exclamation mark in his name AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. How do you even pronounce that? Ka-nine-drah?

25 04 2008
Merri Lee


Serena (14:55:37) :

The worst naming that I ever heard was done by a tenant of mine. She was white but her children were mixed race and apparently she, very poorly, wanted to fit in by naming her children weird names. Her oldest daughter was named Tyranny. I am sure there are worse things that one could name a child but that is pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel.

TYRANNY???? Oh HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL no. Maybe she’ll grow up to rule Cuba.

25 04 2008
Jason

La la is better off without you

25 04 2008
Admiral Furious

My my… had I not noticed that this topic was still being written to… I would have never seen this one.

Chris.. thats your name? Riiiight. Okay, allow me to retort.

First: some words of advice: http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/

Now onto your statements…
Your first point: please read asshole. Read and read very hard. Use your intelligent mind to figure out what was said… then revisit what you were about to comment on it.

Second, I never hated on anyone’s names with culture significance, I simply stated the oddness of them. I never mentioned a peep of demise towards any culture at all… so where do you come off with that statement you fucktard? Now… you know absolutely nothing about black culture and their naming convention and I know nothing about your culture and your naming convention. Yet I have seem more assholes like yourself making fun of someone who’s name is Kian (which may have some cultural influence) while their name stands as Kohmol. Are you trying to give justification you racist prick? I wonder what your stance is on black people; perhaps one that believes that we are of no culture? You’re Vietnamese right? You said so yourself.

Your third point… my skin is fine… however yours obviously isn’t. Or rather its your skull thats thick since you can’t seem to comprehend anything thats being said. Other races look down upon and poke fun at the demise of black people far more than vice versa… but is that because we want to play victim? Maybe you do.

So with that said… please do us all a favor and go jump off a bridge. It will leave us with one less street stupid person on this planet.

25 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Speaking of thin skinned…

@ Chris (the self proclaimed vietnamese guy)

http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/

25 04 2008
Mr. Smith

Damn AF, you beat me to it!

25 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Redundancy is good in some cases. Thanks for the backup homie.

25 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

wow@ chris
bwhahahahah is it me or is he Emma’s from the other post boyfriend? hahah

25 04 2008
Admiral Furious

If so… she can jump off a bridge too.

25 04 2008
Mr. Smith

God I love this blog. I can be as angry about the fucking flawed world as I want to be, and there are still seven angrier “muh fuckuz” on here than me!

25 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

LMAO@ AF & Mr. Smith. I was surprised Chris didnt comment on Chris(laundry mat owner) comment..

25 04 2008
maya

“Your first point: please read asshole. Read and read very hard. Use your intelligent mind to figure out what was said…”

I am CRYING right now.

Who are Emma and Chris? How did they find this site? I’m sure when they heard about it, someone was like, “The blacks are putting together cognitive sentences…fuck, we’re doomed!”

25 04 2008
Mr. Smith

“The blacks are putting together cognitive sentences…fuck, we’re doomed!”

OMFG LOLLERSKATES RTGUERABG?OUOU#$HGFOU#$%HGOUERHHRU4HREGUYFERIOUGVE
ERJVEIUHBVOERUHWBVOIUERBVIRTE
EIBHVIRTUNVERUNBVE
G[EUHNVOIH-G983459GE
\G84598HGIUYERBG89H45G
[VUGHF985H49F8H549GHVR
EVPHHTVY8RTB
RTBHTIUYBG87HRW8945
VTSUVH598HWV954HGBRT]BRTSGHB9U45HNB87RTS’BRB
BNITURNB9U89546BGRTUBGH9RBIRTB
RPIUHGR5HGB98RT
RTHB987HBG5
RTPUBH9TRUBH9URTHWU8BHRTUBNRTBN9URTNBHTUSHBGU8RTWHBUHRTUBHRTUNBUIDGNSBJUDGJBHLHDXGHURNDBFOUYGHEUSGHEROIHG8ERUBVU8RTHGPBIFDVLIDTPIBUNFDIUNVPIUERTHJGU45HWGH458HG87H45WTY457H45YT4384587HT4587H5678H457BGTRYHG7GH8B
VTRUIBVUTBOUTOIUBNIORTUBNRTUBNIORTBNRTB
VNRTUBS

25 04 2008
Dick C. Flatline

Look on the bright side. If your parents were retarded enough to give you one of those names, you’ll probably wind up being one of those assholes with the gigantic thumping speakers in their cars, so you’ll be deaf by the time you’re twenty, and you won’t be able to hear the howls of laughter.

25 04 2008
Lady

WHO IN THE HELL LEFT THE GATE OPEN???

25 04 2008
Merri Lee

Who are Emma and Chris? How did they find this site? I’m sure when they heard about it, someone was like, “The blacks are putting together cognitive sentences…fuck, we’re doomed!”

*****************

maya – you made Jesus cry.

25 04 2008
Duckie

Randomly.. My name is Jessica (and I’m white).. but I hated that name because it was so common. So in high school I went by Jennica (Jenn eh ka). Most people shorten it to Jenny though.

25 04 2008
tats ah das ah go

bein american indian all i can tell you is this. fight the white man , lose. act stupid, lose harder and faster. i cant throw rocks at names , but id settle for folks pullin their pants up

25 04 2008
Mrs.Epps

“Randomly.. My name is Jessica (and I’m white).. but I hated that name because it was so common. So in high school I went by Jennica (Jenn eh ka). Most people shorten it to Jenny though”.

What The Flying Fuck?

25 04 2008
Amy

First of all… what in the world is a cognitive sentence?
Second, I can understand why Chris got defensive. The article is making fun of ridiculous names that are either nonsensical or absurd because of their cultural meaning or complete lack of meaning. These names make life unnecessarily hard for the kid because, as rightly pointed out, someone looks at the resume and says, “next.” I am in medical school and have a classmate who is a very bright and accomplished person, but has one of those megalomaniacal names. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t change it or use a nickname.
The Asian names do have cultural meaning, and so are analogous to a real Swahili name, which is perfectly respectable.
I have also wondered why people of all ethnicities would choose to name their child after a flash-in-the-pan pop star rather than finding a name that has an enduring meaning.
Oh- the necessary disclaimer- I am white and that is my real name.

26 04 2008
london

and not forgetting condoleeza is one of the most made-up-ghetto-stupid-fucking-names i have ever heard…. and look where she is… she gives hope to a whole new generation of these people… and how many little condoleeza’s will there be in the next few years…

26 04 2008
Admiral Furious

London… you have a very very very GOOD point.

Why didn’t this come up earlier?

26 04 2008
Tamani

So having looked up “Condoleezza” for the meaning…apparently even rising to the post of Secretary of State doesn’t make one immune to the virtue name. To add insult to injury, it’s a bastardization of the Italian phrase “con dolcezza”, meaning “with sweetness.” I often lamented to my mother about why she gave me the name that I have. My cousins all have very ordinary (white) names. The latest of these ordinary names? Kendall Allie. As a subset, her parents live in Atlanta, both are lawyers and she will probably grow up to be as dry as unbuttered toast.
But I digress – Why the weirdo name?
Because my name (that’s it up top) is an actual Swahili name, it means “desire”. I was a wanted child – my parents desired to have me. And no, it’s not a Swahili bastardization. Many Kenyans have been delighted to hear my name and comment on its meaning. Also, it’s a very common name in the Middle Eastern region – my friend George from Lebanon knows of at least one other Tamani- and let’s not forget the luxury Tamani resort complex in Dubai.

That being said, I hate it when I get lumped in with every Shaneesha, LeeLee and Marquan who submits a resume.

26 04 2008
london

@ furious… oprah..tyreese…tyra….they are all sitting there..
we as a people have loved to do this shit from time…

26 04 2008
london

and yes.. beyonce.. think that’s been mentioned before..
lets do well known fucked up names….

they hide in plain sight…

27 04 2008
luvmyname

My name is a fairly common name, Melinda, I hated it as a young girl. As a young girl I desperately wanted a common name such as Keisha, or Tamika. I soooo love my name now. You should see the faces of white people when they realize not all black mothers feel the need to make up stupid names for their children!!

27 04 2008
Chris

(yes, the same self-proclaimed Vietnamese Chris)

Admiral Furious:

I seem to have misread your sentence and omitted a word as I was reading, so I apologize if I may have insulted your intelligence. In fact, I feel now that almost what I have written before was, perhaps, created with a blinding passion, so to speak.

However, I believe your original intent seems to have twisted itself in defense. Calling an artifact of someone’s heritage a “monstrosity” and comparing it to bodily function is not merely pointing out an oddity. That, sir, is purposeful ignorance.

I do not want to paint you as an ignorant person, however, because your writing certainly disproves that. I also do not want to antagonize each other because there is nothing gained from a screaming match; but I do hope that your intention was not to imply a special exception in the satire of a group of people without allowing the satire of ones own group.

I noticed you wrote that (to paraphrase) “the demise of black people has been ridiculed more than that of any other” which further leads me to believe you do see yourself as a victim, which is wholly independent of whether I see myself as a victim or not.

Frankly, I do not believe in the merit of this point of view, and the one-sided picture you paint of “Kohmol” making fun of “Kian” when I know kids named “D’Quan” who made fun of kids named “Phuc.” And don’t get me wrong, I made fun of that kid named Phuc, and I had black friends (don’t be so surprised) named Jeff who made fun of D’Quan. Which puzzles me further as to why you seem to imply that ridicule is, in certain cases, a one-way street.

If you believe in equal rights for yourself, at least, how do you justify your implications that non-blacks should not have the right to make fun of the same things you do?

Perhaps this is more serious discussion than the author intended, but having read his other articles and growing up in the same area with the same issues, I just thought I’d point out something I’d always wanted to ask about since no one is ever really open to discussing something as sensitive as this in real life.

Feel free to spew all the profanity you want, though, if you don’t feel the need to respond in a constructive manner.

I also do not think I will be jumping off any bridges soon, as my kung-fu flying skills seem to have gotten a little rusty.

28 04 2008
Admiral Furious

Okay Viet-Chris.

28 04 2008
Nice

Dang, Chris needs to be featured as the next Current Angry Asian Man. Lighten up- It’s all in fun.

29 04 2008
Mr. Smith

More stupid names to add:

Sen’Derrick
Knowshon
Vontae
LeSean
Ciron
Vance
Cafeteria
Beeshonette
Cam’Ron (some kid’s name, not even the rapper. I frowned)
Dontarrius

This list could go on…

1 05 2008
Shine

Working with kids in inner city schools makes me so sad. To list
Multiple Alizes
Uniqua
Maakee
Dee-End!!! THIS IS THE POOR CHILDS ACTUAL FIRST NAME, with a hyphen in it.

And I feel Chris on the stupid names make everyone around you sound stupid too. I was in a club and as soon as I walked in I saw a cute guy who looked familiar. We were both eyeing each other so I though I had to know this guy. So he walks up and says he thinks he knows me and says is my name mumblemumble-tricia. And I’m damn, where do I know you from I am Tricia. He says ‘naw you’re not RayTricia.’ I was like, you damn right I’m not and I just had to walk away.

My friend also tried to convince me that her friend Tequila was really smart in her advanced polysci class in college. I had to respond if the the girl was so damn smart she should’ve changed her name. Or at least go by something different. This is the same friend who cannot see the what’s wrong with her cousin being named Fuschia.

3 05 2008
london

i have an interesting story which i will need some help on from my peeps here for verification
the company i work for was launching a new product. i was called over to look at the finished campaign artwork for my thoughts..
the first thing my eyes alighted on was that they had named the black woman model in the picture ‘sarah’..
before i could think about what i was saying i blurted out that black people do not name their daughters ‘sarah’…. they looked at me as though i had 2 heads.. i backed it up saying it’s a cultural thing – sort of a..’you would not understand….’
i don’t know where it came from… it just is… that woman right there would never be called sarah…
i asked my mother and my homies later that evening about it and they all agreed it is ‘one of those names’… it’s in our conciousness…
can someone shed some light on this please? where did this come from? is sarah a yt only name?
i think it has something to do with slavery.. but what is the story?
i do not know a single black woman named sarah… do any of you?

3 05 2008
Nice

I actually do know a Black Woman named Sarah. I also know Black women named Amy and Chloe.

5 05 2008
stop-the-epidemic

LMAO!!!! This site is killing me! This really is an epidemic. My heart goes out to the poor children who are given no choice but to grow up with these outrageous names. Unfortunately, a name can decide one’s destiny…

First things first, the bastardization of African and Arabic names MUST STOP! If you want to give your child the honor of having an African/Arabic name, then do just that, do not desecrate (“ghetto-ize”) meaningful names and words.

Secondly, don’t make something up and CLAIM it means something in some foreign language.

Abuse of the letter Q (whether or not followed by a “u”… or even a “w”) must stop. (e.g. Qwanell, Shaqita, Shaniqua etc)

Enough with all the unnecessary apostrophes (e.g. Ra’Mone, Je’Rome, La’Kee’ta, De’Shaun’da etc)

Just because you put é (e with an accent) and the end of a name you made up, or give it a French-sounding pronunciation DOES NOT MAKE IT FRENCH!! (e.g. Beyoncé, Solange, De’Londré etc)

Don’t unnecessarily complicate the spelling of otherwise “regular” names (LaToyeea, Kevvyn, Ra’fayell, Antwaun etc) (Anfernee tops them all though LOL!!!)

As for naming children after luxury goods, liquor, diseases, or any other senseless long word (real or made up)… I’m lost for words. Still laughing my ass off at the stuff I’ve read.

5 05 2008
stop-the-epidemic

ignore the emoticons. supposed to show as …’)

5 05 2008
Nice

@ stop- the-epidemic, AMEN.

5 05 2008
Lolo

Mercedes (no, she wasn’t spanish in any way), Champagne, Brie, Breneè, Moèt, Merlot, Chamay ~ all are white girls I have met with these as their given names, none of them strippers, as far as I know. I’ve also met a five year old boy whose name is Mister. My ex was an attending at Children’s Oakland and had the pleasure of examining the baby who was named Master of the Universe.

5 05 2008
Nice

I know I little named Lord Seven Justice Allah- of couse his parents are Five Percenters.

5 05 2008
Nice

Opps, A little BOY.

5 05 2008
london

Master of the Universe…. nice…
what was his surname pray tell?

i have a friend surnamed walker and a star wars freak… he is listed as a follower of the jedi religion on the census.. hmmmn… i am not ever going to be listed as a klingon, borg or romulan as much as i love star trek by the way…..
one evening we were discussing names of his soon-to-be-born baby and drunkenly came up with ……anakin sky… annie if a girl…
we thought it was inspired.. a stroke of genius… so fitting… and fucking awesome..
unfortunately his wife heard me and gave me the most evil scowl… she took my mate home very soon after… boooo…
it was a natural choice… no… really…
better than ‘moon’ or ‘street’ or ‘baby’ anyway…

5 05 2008
stop-the-epidemic

LOL! As far as giving a child a title for a name (Majesty, Sirr, Lord etc) so they are always “addressed with respect”, irony has never been crueler than to ensure someone with a name like that ends up with a very menial job. Just picture a toilet cleaner’s boss yelling “Yo! Majesty, you missed a spot. Clean than shit up or your royal ass is gonna be out of a job!”

5 05 2008
Maria

Something that really gets under my skin is white folk, usually country types, who randomly stick ‘lynne’ on the end of perfectly good names –

Emmalyn
Coralynne
Aimeelyn
Anyalynne

Or when they name girls after their fathers and do the same –

Jamielyn
Peterlyn
Michaellynne
Danniellyn

I have come across real people with all of these names. It irritates the hell outta me to see perfectly good names butchered!

6 05 2008
Lolo

I vaguely recall that Master of the Universe’s last name was Johnson or something equally mundane.
Speaking of sad nerdery, I so wanted to name my son Xavier but noooooo. DENIED ::sniff::

6 05 2008
mamastime

The “best” name I ever heard was on an edition of Maury Povich
Trayveoughshay, even Maury had a hard time pronouncing that one.

6 05 2008
Sister Toldja

@ Nice- There is a kid in Brooklyn named Royal Highness Prince Allah. He wore a crown to school in kindergarten and his parents wanted him to be called Royal Highness for short. The school was like, um, hell no. I think they settled on Prince and got his family to realise that the crown violated the uniform code. You KNOW they were Fives. Lord, have mercy.

7 05 2008
J

Seriously, does it matter? Wow, can we say assimilation? I dont care what white people think about my name and I will be able to get a job. Oprah is fine and at some point I will be too. I feel no need make my name or my future children’s names into some generic remnant moniker of white culture. They dont even know what their names mean anymore, and originally they did mean things as equally eyebrow raising as any black person’s name. You can buy into if u want, I feel no such obligation.

8 05 2008
Theresa

Down right stupid
Beyonce… Solange- is she a dessert, a fabric?
Venus… Tiger (Woods)- Seriously…Shaquil, vivica
Ro-wa-nda- WTF! suggest Zim-ba-bwe…Lucinda
Brandy? Brandy? y not jus let loose ey! Larger-ette…Vowdcar…Barcardette…Shandy…beer goggles…Smirny…shaken…Vineyard(vinnie)… Merlot..Stout…carlifonian… 12 percent… err..distilled…hic…!
Shiloh, Zahara, Maddox,Pax, Brooklyn, Romeo, 50 cent, Apple,sand, Bluebell, rocco, lourdes, volskwagon, Twinkle. Please never your child Amy of Pete.

8 05 2008
Sister Toldja

J- It’s not about assimilation, it’s about ridiculous ass made up names, or naming your child after a product or inanimate object! I personally am all for African, Arabic or Biblical names. But Beyonce? Henessey? Come on people!

Teresa- Solange is actually a real name. I think the fact that her sisters name is so ghettois brings down it’s credentials. I also think that Zahara and Pax were named before being adopted and those names are reflective of their native lands. Zahara is a pretty name, you bugging! LOL.

8 05 2008
Knatural

J – you’re right, but it isn’t about assimilating or mimicking White culture. One’s name is extremely important; it’s they’re title and a huge contributor to identity. I agree with Sister Toldja, some Arabic & Hebrew names are beautiful. And it goes both ways. I have an “unusual” name and people assume things about me based on it, but my name isn’t ShaTaundra or anything ridiculously made-up like that. I don’t have a problem with weird names – they build character. But what kind of character?

@Lolo – I love the name Xavier.

And Beyonce? I heard it’s a bastardization of her mother’s Creole maiden name. And Solange is French, means ‘solitude’ I think.

8 05 2008
lola gets

“Lala” is the name of a character in the play “The Colored Museum.” If you ever get an opportunity to see (or read) it, Id say go for it – its really good.

L

8 05 2008
Merri Lee

I dare ANYONE to top the name “Terra Hyman.” Not only is she white, her parents are doctors.

8 05 2008
Knatural

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….Terra Hyman???!!!! ewwww.

10 05 2008
london

@ lolo… nope cannot..
the parents are evil…
do however know a sharon hagger… whose nickname has always been shagger…

she cannot wait to get married next year..

11 05 2008
Anon

@london…I know this is way late but yes, I do know of a black woman named Sarah – the late, famous jazz singer Sarah Vaughan.

12 05 2008
Ethiopian Queen

I am black and named Sara…………got it from my grandma and Bible 🙂 I have yet to meet antoher Sara that is black and is not from my country. LOL at all the funny names……

12 05 2008
Merri Lee

This guy has it hard. Hard, hahaha 😀

14 05 2008
caratime2

This naming issue is a pet peeve of mine. I can take anything that can be explained to me, so if your baby’s name means “gazelle grazing in the savannah at sunset” in Farsi or Yoruba, it’s all good.

But what’s with bashing Asian names? You better believe those names mean something in THEIR language even if they seem funny in English and YOU don’t understand them. But – tell me now – what the iced blueberry ripple h*ll does ‘Boomquisha’ or “D’noufius” mean in English or any other living language on this planet?

14 05 2008
caratime2

I am still not finished reading all the posts, but had to add these two comments before I forget:

1.) re the British names. Some British people are still stuck on naming their own kids ‘traditional’ names. Jasper Conran or Jemima Goldsmith Khan anyone?

2.) my contribution to the list of names from alcoholic beverages: Tequila. I’m sorry to say my cousin’s daughter thought this name was appropriate for her child.

14 05 2008
caratime2

@dawn

kai is an actual name. an alternative to the name kay. in some places it is considered unisexual. in germany, for example, there are some states that require you to hyphenate it with a name that is clearly feminine or masculine; e.g. kai-michael versus kai-maria.

@london

i have at least one relative named sara. she is admittedly older, though.

14 05 2008
Eebzookee

My name is made up of a welsh/irish, Portuguese/Spanish and French name. As far as job applications go they really have no idea who is going to walk through the door. Sometimes I think they just call me just to see who has this ridiculous name. My first name is Conway by the way.

15 05 2008
Stephanie

Seen on the morning news today: Symfonee (yep, pronounced just like the thing you dress up for and go downtown to see).

15 05 2008
Stephanie

Heard on the morning news today: Symfonee (yep, pronounced just like the thing you dress up for and go downtown to see).

15 05 2008
Brutus

Did the brothers come up with Tercel before Toyota, or after?

18 05 2008
Jeannie

Great blog…

For folks who haven’t read it check out the book “Freakonomics”. The author actually has a chapter devoted to the discussion of the economic impact of “Black” names.

Oh and I once had a student named Master.

What made it worse was that his middle name was Keye.

20 05 2008
Rose

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94qdaycamp.phtml

“Sorry, kids! Bus to Hampstat’s here! Let’s have.. Genitalia, Rubik’s Cube, K-Tel, Placebo and Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon!”

22 05 2008
justelise

Ever have another black person tell you that you think you’re white because your name is Anglo? Believe it or not, it happened to me when I was 8 or 9 on the playground (yes, I had my first tastes of racism within the black community that young), and because I did not have a “Stupid Name” I obviously thought I was better than the girl accusing me of being too white. I believe her name had “niqua” in it.

22 05 2008
Ernest

Dang, I see this all the time. Being from Brooklyn, i thought it was an east coast thing. But out here in San Diego, the craziness continues, only blackas and hispanics now join in the fun! Yeah for every Shanequa, there are quite a few Selena’s too. And dont forget the many Jesus’ (Hay-soos) and Dominican names like Crismelly (girl) Jury (girl) and Zoraida and Rosinin (girls).

Now I actually was overseas and met and married a South African woman named …Sherilyn. Not Qua’Shenna or La’philecia. Her sisters? Hildegarde, Genoniva, Elsabe (Elsa-bee) nieces Bianca, Roshan, Rowena, Louise, brothers Rene, Woodrow, Morne (Mor-nay) etc. NOTHING starting or ending in Sha, La, Qua, or isha, or ette. These are real African names.

So what did we name our daughter of African and American parents?
Haley Renee. Haley, after Alex Haley who chronicled the journey of an African to America, (just like her mom) and Renee as a link between the two families. I had a sister named Renee, and she has a brother named Rene. I believe she will be able to get a job in America.

Thats how you name a child, with foresight and purpose, not based on the medication that inspired conception (Levitra) or dooming her to be mistaken for a tranny. Yes in Baltimore there is a girl named Shemale (pronounced
She-malli).

She has my deepest sympathies…

23 05 2008
stop-the-epidemic

Shemale!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! oh my goodness

31 05 2008
Moi-meme

This is SO funny!

Which (white) celeb named his daughter Moxy Crimefighter? Guy oughta be shot!

BTW–Quite a few of the above-mentioned names DO have meanings. Xavier means “brilliant,” Mercedes means “mercies,” Lulu is Arabic for “pearl.”

5 06 2008
Beautiful Disaster

This blog is quite funny! In fact that people apparently like to ridicule other races and their cultural names.

5 06 2008
Beautiful Disaster

Why do we have to go to the ground of making fun of other people’s race? We don’t like to be teased, so why tease someone else’s race?

Some of the names that people say tend to have a reason or meaning, not just because they want to have the most unique name out there…. Although some are ridiculous!!!

Why does it always have to be about white people making fun of black people? I’ve seen all races make fun of one another, but yet most black people point out that it’s only white people that make fun of them.

I’ve been teased by all races…. so it’s not just about white people on black people. Every culture and nationality has their own “quirks'”, which allows them to be teased by anyone!

5 06 2008
Beautiful Disaster

Why do we have to go to the point of making fun of other people’s race? We don’t like to be teased, so why tease someone else’s race?

Some of the names that people say tend to have a reason or meaning, not just because they want to have the most unique name out there…. Although some are ridiculous!!!

Why does it always have to be about white people making fun of black people? I’ve seen all races make fun of one another, but yet most black people point out that it’s only white people that make fun of them.

I’ve been teased by all races…. so it’s not just about white people on black people. Every culture and nationality has their own “quirks'”, which allows them to be teased by anyone!

6 06 2008
Colin Jensen

You may want to see The Utah Baby Namer. It’s a whole website, around since forever, dedicated to the crazy, and many would say “black-sounding” names Utahns give their children. The site originated as a couple who worked at a bank and kept a list of all the weird names they came across. Since then has been a slough of Masters theses written on the topic. Anyway, check it out and holler…

7 06 2008
superwoman

no disrespect ernest, but neither your wife nor her sisters have african names. i’m south african myself, and from their names, it’s obvious that they are ‘so called coloured’ – mixed race, for those who arent’ familiar with South African racial classifications, who were separated from indigenous black people by apartheid. although we all got it in the neck from the white man, the divide and conquer strategy worked quite well, and we don’t necessarily think of each other as one people – it’s getting better tho – but back to my point… ernest, my man, you know and i know that south african names go more along the lines of thandiwe (beloved), sindile (saved), lebogang (give thanks), makgotso (mother of peace) etc…

inasmuch as coloured people are a mix of black, asian and white, the sad truth is that there is real shame about the black side of their heritage, and it is RARE to find a coloured child with an African name…. only the very politically aware do that, generally.

funny enough, the same way that you guys are talking about strange names black folks give their kids, so called coloured people are the ones who bear that stereotype too- but more for picking outlandish exotic names for their kids…. i went to school with sisters – raquelle, adelle, chantelle…i’ve also known coloured ursula’s, monique, yolette, rynette… and it goes on.

7 06 2008
superwoman

but then even black people go kinda crazy this side – as a result of the xenophobic violence that’s recently broken out in south africa – one woman named her baby, born during the unrest – Xeno… short for xenophobia. zimbabweans are stereotypically the worst about this kinda thing – i have met a lot of zimbabweans called lovemore, goodenough, greatmore (???), democracy, election (believe it), there’s even a guy named hitler, success, strategy…i could go on and on and on.

other times, instead of just naming the child the word in the original african language, it’s translated into english to be more ‘posh’, i guess…. so you regularly get names like ‘happy’, instead of jabulani, lucky instead nhlanhla, precious is a very common name here, blessing instead of ntsikelelo…. *sigh* so unnecessary, really – the names are gorgeous in our own languages

11 06 2008
Grace

You know what? I don’t see anyone talking about how white women are now naming their children effed up names. So it’s okay to call your child sunshine, and sky? White women are just as guilty for naming their children after cars. I agree to a certain extent with names, but at the same time, we should not be the only ones in this article. What about the couple naming their kid superman??? On top of that, if you do have a messed up name as an adult, their is no reason why we can’t use a nickname, middle name instead. I write resumes for black professionals all of the time and they always have the option to opt for a more “socially acceptable” name. So not getting an interview based on a name is a bunch of bull. So please, don’t generalize black people. Ignorant people (could be any race) name their children crazy names all of the time. Of course it is easy to recognize black peoplem but this happens all over the world.

One more thing, LaLa is not a made up name. It’s a armenian/persian female name that means tulip in english. So before bashing someone’s name, maybe you should do some research, but I guess that is was ignorant people don’t do.

13 06 2008
Tarhaka

I was thinking of naming my first son Osiris….what do you think…?

13 06 2008
Knatural

In Egyptian mythology, Osiris loses his penis, so…yeah.

17 06 2008
bella

the last line is CLASSIC!!!

17 06 2008
bella

@ grace

great point… WF name their children Apple, Orange, Turquoise and shit too… I mean, what other job is Apple Paltrow or Kingston ____ gonna get other then a weird rockstar or actress?

17 06 2008
bella

@ stuffblackpeoplehate

grace sounds kinda mad at you about the LaLa thing…LMAO!!!

20 06 2008
Keysha E.

I went to school with a girl named Bontika …… She curently works at the Red Lobster or was it I-Hop … either one is not good when your 30+ not unless your the manager. Not hating on her choice of occupation just trying to connect the name with the story!

And yes I know my name is a Tad Bit Ghetto and what! LOL .

I do not let my name hold me up or down. I’m in charge of my own destiny.

At least my name aint Condelezza!!!! LOL LOL

“some folk fall on bad times, and some just do make their time good”

20 06 2008
Kortni Ayo

I workfor a community agency and I saw some twin boys with hella ghetto names, however that didn’t matter b/c their middle names were Wu and Tang respectively. I mean, I love the WU and all, but come on now.

21 06 2008
Jewels

I remember during my senior year of high school, I was taking a spychology class. This huge, masculine looking chick was named “Jeffrica.” I kid you not. Obviously her father wanted a boy but didn’t get one, so “plan B” was to name his daughter after himself while still keeping it “feminine.” Not. 😛 It’s just my personal style, but “hippy names” (i.e. Star, Moonbeam) and “ghetto names” are not my bag. On the same token, anything passe, “plain jane”, or just been around for the past 10,000 years… bores me to tears (i.e. Mary, John, Jane, bob, Jill…) And how many more women need to be named Maria??

21 06 2008
ViK

@ bella – you didn’t take it far enough. The British LOVE fruit names. Apple, Plum, Strawberry, Pear, Peaches, Peachie…I think Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter will be OK in the UK, but if they move to the USA, not so much.

You can’t top Shannyn Sossamon who named her son Audio Science Clayton. Somebody? Anybody? Didn’t think so.

21 06 2008
Sylph

I just came back from partying with a grown ass man named Treasure.

Yes. You read that correctly.

21 06 2008
4m_no_2_dc

Megalomanical Descriptors…..
I knew a girl that named her daughter Areia Sunshine (get it? a-ray-a sunshine.)
WTF???? YOU’RE WRONG!!!!!

more fucked up namery:
twins> Malikaneisha and Marthakayada (this is so ture… only in new orleans)
two times the fucked up fun> Jovannesha (met her in college)
stipper names>Cinnamon, CoCo (these are real people i went to high school with)

and then there are some names that are seemingly wrong… but only because you don’t know more like…. Tekakwitha…. which is a native american name…

please. the list can go on for days…..

23 06 2008
SeñorMillsLane

Allen Iverson has a brother is named Mister Allen and a sister named Weinbrand…

23 06 2008
Devin F

I served a 2 year mission for my church in Florida and I met a lot of folks with ridiculous names. Some of the worst were:

Shakeydra
LaShayvia Flucker
Princess
Khayyyan (yes that’s three y’s)
and the reigning champeen… Terikaka

24 06 2008
chaoticdiva

My mom worked with someone by the name of Shithead (the III, mind you). Its pronounced Sha-theed.

I have also seen Pringle, Female (pronounced fe-mal-ee), LaChina, Indonesia (nicknamed Inda), Damariea (I can’t spell that, but it sounds like De-mari-aay).

All I can wonder is why they still allow the Hash Bash every year.

..and I thought it was bad when I saw a white lady named Keisha on the news…

26 06 2008
Dinkilove

Does anyone think that some people name their children after luxury items maybe just because they like the name? I mean could this be possible?

Instead of constantly bashing the individuals that choose to name their children these odd and hard to pronounce names maybe we try to educate them on the importance of selecting a proper name for them. Educate them so that they will know and understand that you are what you are called. All proper names have meaning and naming your child Bonquisha, Anfernee and Shaquan is not going to get it in the real world.

26 06 2008
Tina

I’m a new reader and I have to say I absolutely love this site. I belong to a group of people with some fairly common and not so common names and we’ve had this discussion numerous times. Crazy names DEFINITELY affect your ability to get a job – I don’t care how confident you are with yours. One of my friends works in HR for the fed gov’t and has continuously clowned the hell out of some of the applicants (and probably denied them a chance) just for their names. Wachovia Jenkins? Come on now, who will take her seriously.

I also know a Candida (like the itchy infection) and a Revolution Washington. Seriously, what reserved white folk are going to be comfy hiring him? One would expect him to come in wearing a dashiki, an afro jumping and fist pumping.

I was once told by an Arab man (several) that my my name was too white and that it should be Keisha or the like. Most of the women in my family have “normal” names. Reading our names on a list you would swear we were a bunch of white chicks – Monica, Chrissy, Jacqueline, Melinda, and Tina – all we’re missing is a Becky!

And yes, Sarah is very common – it’s Biblical and I know at least 5, related to three.

28 06 2008
TheDude

There’s a woman who let her brotha name her newborn twin babies:

Denise
and

Denephew

🙂

28 06 2008
Punkin

My Name is Shakia and sometimes I am embarrased to acctually tell people what my name is because most of the time they dont even say it right. I know that that name is a little more commom than other names mentioned here but it’s still GHETTO as shit to me. I am going to give my kids very common names so that when they submit a resume they wont already know there race. Why do people do this to there kids? It’s so stupid!

Then my family had the nerve to nickname me punkin….WTF!

29 06 2008
Hugh Manrace

White, black or Purple…
Here are the worst names.
Zelda, Dweezil, Elmer, Edna, Gomer, Opie, Henrietta, Percy, Gertrude, Hymen
Orville, Purvis, Abner, Jethro, Elmo, Spanky, Homer, Beaver, Weiner, Adolph
Icabod, Elvira, Myron, Herman, Cleo, Blythe, Harry, Sydney, Dick, Seymore, Melvin, Herbert, Gretchen, Gilbert, Fannie, Gaylene, Egbert, Leroy, Martha, Rufus
Ogden, Herschel, iggy, Bubba, Minerva, Brunhilda, Guy, Ervin, Edgar, Ferris, Marge,Newton, Priscilla, Mervin, Thurston, Gaye, Doyle, Chester, Hester, Lester,
Nestor, Giselle, Arvin, Edwin, McCain, Obama, Hillary and Bush.

29 06 2008
Caribbeanbaby

I have cousins named Luetica (La -tisha), Charmaine, Thomas, Angela, A’mir, Amir’e, Te’Vion (not sure where the apostrophes actually are), Nicola (after my uncle Nichols – who was named after his dad).

Other people I know…Loreal, Paradise (for real), Myeesha (Dad Mike and Mom Ayeesha), and Mikeesha (same family as Myeesha).

I’m sure there’s tons I’m forgetting.

My name is Genevieve AnnMarie. Very normal, very white, and named after both my grandmothers (Genevieve and Ann Marie). Why my mom had to kind of ghettoize it by putting them together with two capital letters, I will never know. And my sister’s name is Genesis, brother’s name is Dean, and mom’s name is Bernadette.

30 06 2008
ChaoticDiva

Um, most people think that Letitia (pronounced Lay-tisha) is ghetto, but it is a french name…it was actually my white great grandmother’s name.

@ Hugh…are you deliberately trying to start someone on a tirade by listing people’s last names (i.e. the politicians?)

…and I like the name Gisele.

Bad Names: Gaye (a poor childhood), Minerva, Floyd (sounds snaggletoothed…no offense to those who have the name), Arvella (yes, I knew someone with that name)….

1 07 2008
uh huh

Sounds like you dropped the ball, bro… La La was a perfect ten and you let her go because of some old racial taboo… oh well, that makes one more flawless, beautiful black woman turned down for no reason. If she were asian and named Li Li you would have married her on the spot. Wake up, black men.

1 07 2008
Shaquita

My black people… what will become of us? It disturbs me that so many blacks are proud of their names simply because they are european. Be proud of your name whether it is Sarah or Shaquita (like mine). I hate when people say that certain African American names can ruin a child’s life… why? Names are arbitrary and for the most part unchosen by the bearer. Reguardless, I love my name as I love myself. No amount of hate (even disguised as jest) could ever change that. =)

1 07 2008
Merri Lee

Awwwww, how suite!*

*if you read carefully, you’ll know that’s not a typo.

2 07 2008
Caribbeanbaby

wtf to the above.

4 07 2008
Someone Offended

Im not African American, But some people feel comfortable naming their child such outrageous names. What do you expect them to name their child Amber, Anna or Jenny-lee? No, African Americans have their own way of a name. My friend’s name is Marquita. Her Mother could have just named her Mary, but she would have felt uncomfortable. Really Interesting names Date back all the way in Africa. You cant just say that is ghetto people or Blacks. Trust me I’ve seen some white girls with ghetto names. Thats Very disrespectful to judge by someones name. You should judge them by character.

4 07 2008
ViK

@ Merri Lee – DYSLEXIA SPIDERBITE??? HECKS NAW!!!

@ Someone Offended – http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/why-you-shouldnt-read-this-blog/

4 07 2008
ChaoticDiva

Um Marquita is not the kind of ghetto name they mean. They mean like Tykwondeisha (I’ve heard that name, can’t spell it for shit).

Traditional African names vs Hot Ghetto Mess names….no hay igual.

5 07 2008
Wally

@Tina
Have a white friend who named her daughter Candida (Candy for short). Probably before the infection was common knowledge.
Worked for a wonderful Black lady with a La name. A (rude) colleague in another office, who didn’t know her, said, Hahahaha — that name — she must be Black!
f

5 07 2008
Rachel

london (07:25:24) :

i have an interesting story which i will need some help on from my peeps here for verification
the company i work for was launching a new product. i was called over to look at the finished campaign artwork for my thoughts..
the first thing my eyes alighted on was that they had named the black woman model in the picture ’sarah’..
before i could think about what i was saying i blurted out that black people do not name their daughters ’sarah’…. they looked at me as though i had 2 heads.. i backed it up saying it’s a cultural thing – sort of a..’you would not understand….’
i don’t know where it came from… it just is… that woman right there would never be called sarah…
i asked my mother and my homies later that evening about it and they all agreed it is ‘one of those names’… it’s in our conciousness…
can someone shed some light on this please? where did this come from? is sarah a yt only name?
i think it has something to do with slavery.. but what is the story?
i do not know a single black woman named sarah… do any of you?

Yes I know a ton of black girls named Sarah as well as sara. They are all Ethiopian . Rachel is another ethio-name.

8 07 2008
D'Nae

WhenI went to the 2008 hs graduation in June
I was looking thru the program at all the names
There was one girl whose middle name was “Chinese”
At first I pronounced it as it looks
But when the speaker read it,
She said it as “Shanice”

8 07 2008
Jilly Baby

Explanation of “La” names. Back in the late sixties/early seventies, Black folks in south (French influenced) Louisiana began adding “La” prefix to girls name with a vengence. Why? Because it sounds french, that’s why. Also LaToya Jackson inspired many to name their dauthers likewise.

Most of the black girls born in 1968 had traditional “white” names like Mildred, Melissa, Valerie, Yvette, Marion, Karen, Jeannette, Dawn, Elizabeth, Ruth, etc. Some had real African middle names but most of us had Anne as a middle name. By 1970, we starting hearing names like LaQuanda, LaTaundra, LaTavia, LaTasha, LaRonda, LaDonna, etc…..These girls usually had “normal” middle names though.

One of my sisters has a side business where she prints the meaning of peoples’ name on paper with beautiful graphics. From her I learned that it is not enough to to give your child a known name but it must have the original spelling to convey the full blessing of what the name means. Each letter has a numerical value and a vibration. Alter the spelling, alter the value and full meaning.

I also believe that we could be naming our children after demons when we choose names that do not have a meaning. LOL!

Something to think about….

9 07 2008
TheIceQueen

LOL! ridiculous names kill me..i mean,why would a parent single-handedly ruin their childs future? International? someone named their kid International…ive seen “Vote” as well…what tha hell??..

and we dont even need to look that far..who has seen the horror that is cheetah girls??

Aquanetta
Dorinda
Chanel
Galleria

Galleria?? Mall? an effin Gallery!!..need i say more?

10 07 2008
AsianWithAsianName

Regarding your aside about Asian people (you seem to have a hateful aside for Asian people in most of your blogs): However odd Vietnamese or Chinese names may sound to your ignorant ears (it doesn’t matter how many Asian friends you have, you are still ignorant), they are still culturally specific and relevant. We make fun of black names because they are utterly and completely unanchored from concept of nomenclature, and as such, are utterly ridiculous. I rather be called Phuc Phoo than Laquisa. The former has cultural meaning and heritage in my language, the latter is gibberish.

10 07 2008
Michele

my husband works as a nurse in an emergency room and treats patients with “strange” names all the time. my two favorites of the names he’s told me about are: LANCELOT KNIGHT, and SMURFETTE. yes, someone named their poor daughter after a smurf. so sad. i mean, i get enough grief about the spelling of my own name (pretty “normal” name, if you ask me), but even when i spell it for people, they still insist on putting an extra “L” in there. but thank the good lord my parents didn’t name me SMURFETTE!!!
very funny post…

10 07 2008
Michele

p.s. regarding TheIceQueen’s post…AQUANETTA?!? are you kidding me? was that girl named after AQUA NET hair styling products???
oh, and regarding asian names…i love the name PHUC DAT…too fun to say…

10 07 2008
chaoticdiva

I went to MSU wiith Lady-Elizabeth (I think thats pretty though…she said she was named after a grandmother), and Sir Darean (yes, his mother named him sir, and yes he played football. It was a regular occurrence to hear the announcers at Spartan stadium make fun of his name. Nice guy…kind of slow, but very nice).

10 07 2008
JJ

I went to high school with a boy whose last name was Martin… his first name was Remy. 😐 At the time, I didn’t realize the unfortunate card this boy’s parents delt him since I didn’t know the brand names of any alcoholic beverages.

African Americans might be the main abusers but celebrities of all races take the cake. Pilot Inspektor!?

http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22099/43904-jermajesty-banjo–wacky-celebrity-baby

11 07 2008
MudnStars

Don’t forget the subset of Megalomaniacal Descriptors that involves naming a child a title — they range from borderline acceptable — Prince, Princess, Duchess, Duke — to kinda out there — Chancellor, King, President.

11 07 2008
willnotbetelevised

OK i have been working with priveleged white children for a week and some of their names have been pissing me off.

1. to kill a mocking bird must be big shit in australia b.c. the 2 australian born boys in my class are Atticus and Harper

2. If I see another child named Aiden, Jack or Oscar I will scream

3. Naming children after herbs, spices, seasons, or food is pretty dumb. I used to like the name Summer.

4. Saskia sounds and looks retarded as a name.

5. I saw a 3 year old being fussed at called Beethoven. Damn dumbass name. Even Beethoven wasn’t named Beethoven, his name was Ludwig.

Ok most of the names haven’t pissed me off except that damn Beethoven. The repitiveness of all these names. They were cute until there’s 3 Summers, Sage, Ava or Eve, or Tobias pronounced Toe-bee-us in every class and every 3rd boy is called either Luka, Oscar, Aiden or Jack. And every time I have to hear Aiden i want to scream (stop watching sex in the city women dammit!) All the Aidens are the same age.

13 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

It makes me laugh when black people try to act as if they are better than other black people. Anyway, some of the white last names are almost impossible to pronounce without breaking them down into syllables. Their surnames reveal information about their heritage and it makes them unique. I’ll never blast them for that. It’s also unfathomable to me that you would disrespect the names of Asians. I guess that’s why I’m not surprised that you would “tease” black people about the names we select.
I have a very white name, but my nickname is one of the names you used in your article. My husband also has an unusual nickname that’s used at his workplace (they found out about his nickname from his references). Our sons have unique names. One shares the name of one of Brangelina’s children (our son was born many years before their child) and one is named after a European city. Almost all of our friends and neighbors are white; my husband is very successful at his job.
My point is, most white people do not care what you’re named. The main things they care about are that you speak the English language properly, you have a job – any job and that you keep your grass cut.
Take it from me – a black woman who is well-assimilate into the white world because she understands them, yet she can still be a person with a funny nickname and have children with unique names.
Live by faith and not by sight…or name!

13 07 2008
Jen

Lala (AKA: Black Suburbanite) – please point out to me where in this post the perception of white people is the central factor in determining the atrociousness of you and your family’s RIDICULOUS FUCKING NAMES? Everything about your post made me want to vomit, beginning with your handle and ending with your completely irrelevant biblical reference. Who loves cooning for white people so much that they make it central to their identity?? What sort of Black person brags about their level of assimilation with white people? I pray to God in heaven that you never have a female child for fear that you’d name her after a vehicle and begin relaxing her hair before she is out of diapers. You are truly delusional, and you need to be shot out back for defending the minority use of ridiculous, culturally irrelevant names within the black community because, believe me, EVERYBODY IN THE COUNTRY is making fun of children named TaRainbow and LaDavidius but their poor, misled mothers.

13 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

Why do we have to make fun of our names only. I mentioned the assimilation into the white world because I read somewhere on this post that HR will overlook anyone with a different name. Give white people some credit. They won’t. Assimilation is OK. Isn’t that what we’ve been working for all of these years; desegregation, equality, the color of our skin doesn’t matter.

By the way, my daughter’s name is Lauren, you idiot.

13 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

Oh yeah – my name is Beth and my nickname is Sugar and people have the freedom to name their children anything they want. They are not breaking the law. Do you realize that some of the women naming their children have almost no freedom to make any choice in their lives – nowhere to express their creativity. Sometimes naming their children is the only way to express their creativity.

Also, although I’ve assimilated into white society, I haven’t forgotten my roots and the people from my own culture. No matter where life takes me, I’ll never diss my own people – even if they name their children unique names. We have enough people treating us wrong for us to treat eachother wrong.

Also, I was not quoting the Bible otherwise, I would have given it it’s proper reference.

And, sorry dear, no one will ever have to take me out back to shoot me. Do you have children? If you do, I feel sorry that they are being raised by a violent, bitter woman like you. If you don’t have children – do us all a favor, don’t bring any more of your type into this world.

14 07 2008
Jen

You read somewhere on this post?? Shouldn’t you have read that before on the news or in school or somewhere? I am not going to pick on you too much because you are clearly ignorant and averse to reading. But, Black Suburbanite, whether you realized it or not, you both quoted the Bible and attempted to contradict studied evidence based on an anecdote.

No, Black people ought not be fighting for assimilation. WE OUGHT TO BE FIGHTING FOR EQUITY. There is a difference, and I assure you that you have accomplished neither by whitewashing yourself and your children. By the way, in case you haven’t guessed, I would take my Black social organizations, churches, schools, culture, food, history and communities over “assimilation” any day of the week. Your prescribed lifestyle of tokenism does not, in any way, indicate that you have somehow “made it.”

Also, a lack of freedom in one’s own personal life does not give anybody the license to cripple one’s children with a stupid name. WTF kind of sense does that even make??

Yes I say that a mother. And, guess what? My child will be taught to be outraged when outrage is appropriate (such as, when she hears coonery such as you’ve uttered here). Furthermore, I would take MYSELF out back and put a gun to my own head before I saw my child end up as fucked up and severely misoriented as you.

14 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

EQUITY or equality, dummy? I want you to know something; the last black person who tipped a server well, sent well-behaved/mannered children to school, said please and thank you and didn’t yell at my white co-workers or slack off at work was probably me and others who understand. As a result, those white people will think of me when they encounter another black person and they will treat them well, regardless of their name.

Oh, and my children go to black inner city schools – I took them out of the white suburban schools. Guess what, my kids can assimilate with everyone. They know to welcome Africans as brothers and sisters, not to think of Asians, Hispanics and Europeans as different, they treat all black Americans with respect and the can hold their own as equals with white people (unlike many of their peers).

They did not need a Black social organization to teach them these things, I taught them.

I also taught them how to make the foods of my Louisianan parents and eat sushi as well.

Who will succeed more in life – your isolated children who have not learned how to deal with all cultures and classes or my well-rounded children who have a mother who wouldn’t even think about killing herself (talk about who is f’ed up and “misoriented”).

I may not have the time to read much or research like I used to, but oh, I forgot, I’m too busy raising my children to not become an angry black person like you.

14 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

Oh yeah, when was the last time a person from your Black social organizations, churches and communities gave you a good rate on a mortage loan, hired you, gave you a promotion along with a huge raise or gave you a great reference for your next job, approved your car loan at a good rate with or without good credit or a down payment? How many times have they done this for you? How many times has someone from another race done this for you? ALL PEOPLE NEED EACHOTHER. Names do not make a difference – character and a positive, pleasant attitude do.

14 07 2008
Jen

Yes, I am angry. And if you weren’t braindead, you’d be angry, too.

You don’t want me to answer your questions, because not only would my responses throw your trite, pre-planned arguments off, but they would also probably require you to do some reading. And…you clearly do not read; if you did, you would realize my use of the word “equity” is intentional.

So, I’m afraid this exchange will have to come to a close.

P.S. Consider taking up reading. You’d do better to expose your children to literature than to sushi. And I say that as someone who is well-traveled, well-cultured AND well-read.

14 07 2008
TomatoHead

For those whining about SPBH talking about Asian names, especially Vietnamese names: GET OVER YOURSELVES. “Phuc” in any name sounds hilarious in English. I’m sorry. So does the name Dick or the last name Faget. It’s not like ALL Asian names sound like body parts/ways to have sex. The ones that do, however, are funny.

And people whining about SPBH talking about black people naming their children ridiculous things: i bet you all have kids named LaWanda and Treasure and Master Shequean DaLoindo. You don’t have to make up some nonsensical bullshit name to be “creative”. There is nothing wrong with being creative, but try to think first about how your child is going to go through life with that name. My father wanted a boy and wanted to name him Lance. When my sister came out of my mom, they decided on Lancya, which is creative without being obnoxious.

16 07 2008
nelowafer

@ Black Suburbanite

“I mentioned the assimilation into the white world because I read somewhere on this post that HR will overlook anyone with a different name. Give white people some credit. They won’t.”

You actually believe that? What prescription drugs are you borrowing from the soccer moms? People in power do that all the time. I should know. I am African and people have butchered or made fun of my non-English since preschool. And I know I have been overlooked in some areas because it’s different.

16 07 2008
nelowafer

name after non-english

16 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

I can understand what your saying, but I have two words for you – Barack Obama. Who would have ever thought that the name of the first potential black president, or any president in this country, would be named that. Things are changing and are going to change for the good. With every generation, we come closer and closer. Just be ready.

My city has a large Somalian and Western African population and they are treated poorly by African Americans as well. I don’t think it’s only because of the name. It’s something else that’s hard to put a finger on.

Just remember that this is your country too – forge ahead despite what people say about your name.

I am not a soccer mom and I reject that philosophy. But I want you to know that most of the soccer moms I’ve encounter are some of the mentally toughest people I know. They don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of their happiness and their family’s happiness and they know where to go to get what they want/need for themselves and their family.

Pray that you meet the right people in power. People in power only care about making money for their company and hiring people who will make money for their company. If they meet the right person, regardless of the name, believe me, they will hire you. Whomever makes fun of your name is a _______who can kiss your _______ (fill in the blanks). If they butcher it, forgive them, it’s just plain ignorance.

17 07 2008
Merri Lee
19 07 2008
Folada

I believe each of us has a responsibility to work to make the world better. Everything about us should help to produce a positive personna, including our names. It is important to give a newborn a name that has meaning, not just something that is unique or sounds pretty. I explained to my children what their names mean and why I thought those names were appropriate. I believe having a name that has meaning is important, but I also believe that even if a child has a name that many consider outrageous, he or she can still excel in life. With a positive self image and accompanying drive, he or she can propel him or herself to any desired destination. Just look at Condoleeza Rice. What an odd name for someone born in 1954 when most black females had names like Theresa, Karen and Deborah. I heard a white female commentator say that Barak Obama should change his name to Barry if his aim is to appeal to middle America, but here he is with his non-European name, successfully running for President of the United States! So I wouldn’t write the Shaniquas and Lalaishas off just yet!

19 07 2008
joy

I used to be a high school teacher. I loved having 3 girls in a class named Unique, and none of them spelled the same way:

Unique
Uenique
Uneeke

There was also an Imunique, pronounced “I’m Unique.” *barf*

I know a girl named Francoise. Don’t dare pronounce it like the French version however, because it’s pronounced “Fran-KOY.”

20 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

It’s so funny because more than 25 years ago, I went to school with an Ameeka, Rushanah, Carleesha and Sylenthia. There’s probably more names I could mention, but my age is getting the best of me and I can’t remember them.

In high school and college there were more unique names. My college was a very small private college and it had a large international population, so I had the chance to meet African, Native Puerto Rican, Eastern Asian and Arab people with “unique to an American” names. There were also the unique African American names. All of the people I’ve met were good natured people with good personal character. What a joy!

Many of the young people on this forum have not lived life enough to realize that as you age, a simple thing, like the name of a person, doesn’t really matter. If the name just so happens to bother you, you have to be mature enough to accept it and not persecute a person for it (in front or their face and behind their back).

21 07 2008
Peter

This thread was interesting, very interesting, when it seemed like the “core issue” was traditional versus invented names. I kept reading to see if anyone could suggest WHY people make up names for their children and WHY some of those kids have regrets. The ethnicity (race, whatever) of the people doesn’t matter so much, nor does their social standing etc.

Any ideas about the motivation? I don’t think that “expressing their creativity” is a viable explanation, nor is “simple-mindedness” or “stupidity”. I know some highly educated, intelligent women with names like Maria who’ve named their daughters after a perfume!

21 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

Like I said before, my sons’ names are unique, but to be safe, once I chose the names before they were born, I looked them up in several baby books just to make sure the meaning of their names were suitable. All of my children’s names are in the baby names books and their names have some kind of biblical root, which is o.k with me.

Before my daughter was born, I wanted to name her Kaylen or Taylen, but they weren’t really “known” names at that time. At that time, I was afraid of being different. Ten years later, I had had the pleasure of meeting a black young girl named Kaylen and a white young boy named Talon. I kind of kicked myself for being fearful of what others might think.

Do you remember when Keisha and Kendra used to be unique names or when Sydney was primarily a man’s name? Who would have ever thought of naming their children Paris, Roman or Shiloh?

Each baby is it’s mother’s own precious one-of-a-kind jewel. Naming the baby a unique name makes the baby that much more unique, special and precious. Who gives a damn about what the world has to say?

The motivation could be (especially for the girls) putting the dad’s name in somewhere in the name so he can always know that the child is his (you can’t name a girl XYZ Jr.) Also, honoring one’s relatives – I don’t know.

As far as naming them gemstones, days of the week, fruit, perfume or even various drinks, it could be hormones! Mom just thinks it’s a good name at the time and when the baby comes out, the name actually fits! So the name “Apple” could be that this baby will always be the apple of mommy and daddy’s eyes. It’s a very personal thing.

As for the woman you know who named her child after a perfume: maybe your friend was wearing the perfume at the time the baby was conceived. Maybe she received the gift from her man. Maybe the perfume was the favorite perfume of her deceased mother or grandmother. Who knows?

Please check one of the baby names websites. You’ll be surprised at the names you find and their meanings. John, Bill, Bob, Mary, Joan and Ann have a little competition! Also, the name might not be popular now, but give it a few years and a couple of celebrities and it will become a more common name.

22 07 2008
Black Suburbanite

OK, I know I’m long winded, but this topic has struck me for some reason. I will not comment anymore after this because I’ve made my peace (unless, Jen [the uselessly cultured, well-read and high-minded, but still ignorant, angry black chick who refuses to enable herself to think outside of the box, thus she will spend the rest of her life inside of that dismal box] has something to say).

Anyway, the best way to explain it…There’s a movie called ‘Where the Heart Is”. It’s about a young, pregnant, homeless woman who lives in a local Wal-Mart during after hours. The rest of the story is meaningful and intriguing. Moses, one of the employees, told her to name her child a strong and meaningful name, so she named the baby, whom was delivered in the store, Americus. I know this sounds stupid, but art imitates life and many times vice versa.

Pregnancy sometimes can be a very lonely struggle with mother and baby against the world. That’s when a name begins to take on a new meaning.

My first child: I was in college, living in the dorm and determined to graduate. After she was born, I lived with my husband two hours away from school. I commuted during my last year and a half and I graduated. My daughter’s name stands for victory.

My second child: I was married, settled, loved and content. My son’s name stands for rest.

My third child: I was almost 33, I no longer was afraid of the world and I was on my way to becoming the mom, wife and woman I am today. My son’s name stands for strength.

It’s funny because I chose the names before I knew their meanings and somehow they fit, even to this day -14 years later.

Peter I hope this helps you!

22 07 2008
Crystal

I understand this reasoning perfectly. I’m not a cultured classy lady with a privileged upbringing, absolutely not. I was raised in poverty. I had wonderful options like getting gold teeth thrust upon me. It was a status symbol. In my inifinitely wise youth I said absolutely not will I have any gold teeth. I wanted beautiful white teeth just like I saw in the commercials. Today, I have as I’ve always had beautiful white teeth and I”m complimented on my smile all the time it’s my best feature. I manage to escape the poverty stricken mindset in terms of boisterous behavior and the new status marks, tattoos. lol
However, woo to me, I was unable to escape the name, I almost typed it but I better not. I changed that name many years ago. I was working at a computer company, my first really good job and no one could pronounce it. It always stood out. My personality is a tad reserved and I really hate to stand out from a negative perspective in any situation. I have a beautiful name. It’s not traditionally white but it’s simple. It’s ideal. It fits me. Leave it up to my great people to mess up such a simple beautiful name like Crystal because now they want to spell it with a K. That’s our ghetto poverty stricken influence refusing to be silenced. The sad part is that it doesn’t have to be silenced but simply toned down sometimes. But heaven forbid you suggest that, I’m not keeping it real. I find it really ridiculous.

24 07 2008
Peter

And now this…

“(CNN) — A New Zealand judge has made a 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name can be changed from Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, the country’s national news agency reported Thursday.

Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt listed a series of unusual names that New Zealand parents had given their children, and said he was concerned that such strange monikers would create hurdles for them as they grew up.

“It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap,” the New Zealand Press Association quoted the judge as saying.

Among the names Murfitt cited: twins named Benson and Hedges — after a brand of cigarettes; Violence; and Number 16 Bus Shelter.

Some parents had named children after six-cylinder Ford cars, the news agency reported.

The Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages said in a statement that it had rejected names including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi — a staple food in Polynesian cuisine — and Sex Fruit.

A lawyer for Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii said the girl is so embarrassed by her name that friends know her as “K.”

Last month, an judge in the U.S. state of Illinois allowed a school bus driver to legally change his first name to “In God” and his last name to “We Trust.”

But an appeals court in the state of New Mexico ruled against a man — named Variable — who wanted to change his name to a two-word phrase that contains a four-letter expletive and expresses opposition to censorship”
Source:
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/07/24/odd.names/index.html

24 07 2008
JJ

LOL Peter… I just came in here to post that story!

24 07 2008
JJ

“I manage to escape the poverty stricken mindset in terms of boisterous behavior and the new status marks, tattoos…
That’s our ghetto poverty stricken influence refusing to be silenced.”

I think it has absolutely nothing to do with poverty because new money folks and celebrities do the same thing. It’s the mindset of those who aren’t or don’t want to be part of the white-collar, middle to upper-class, and conventional lifestyle. On both extremes of the socioeconomic class system, you find people naming their children less traditional names more than the norm. You will also find those who abandon traditional values and religions (70s flower children) doing the same. So essentially, it seems to be mostly an expression of one’s desire to abandon convention. A way of saying fuck the system… or of expressing that you have enough money not to conform and be part of the system.

24 07 2008
Peter

Ken wrote:

“plenty of Blacks elsewhere, specifically Africa and the Caribbean, have European names since they were colonized. How many us of know West Indians named Ethan and Nigel? Or how about Africans named Pierre, Dieudonne, Guy, and Francois?”

That’s a good lead-in to the possibility that there’s some self-caricature / self-portrayal aspect involved in naming children. I’m no psychologist but the thread here and the examples given (black, Asian, polynesian etc.) look as if people choose names for their children with the intention of portraying something of themselves – for which the child’s name is a caption – figuratively, like the title of a painting. Even names like Peter fit the bill, given that in the British colonial Caribbean past, a black boy might have been named Livingstone or Carlisle, which are now obsolescent other than for middle names that are used to distinguish one Ethan Clarke say, from another.

JJ makes a compelling case that most of it may be “an expression of one’s desire to abandon convention.” I’d only argue that we choose one convention over another based on whatever the perception of value is. Are we here thinking that it’s hard enough carrying the label ‘black’ without having a stupid name to go with it? I can agree with that, but to explain why might take a separate blog or thread.

25 07 2008
ViK

Just thought I’d share this article on stupid names.

30 07 2008
Hugh Manrace

When I was in Junior high I wished I was another race.
I got over it. Kids can be very cruel (they get it from their parents).
I soon learned that there are good and bad people of every race.
I am prejudiced against arrogant, rude, selfish, ignorant, lazy, cruel people.
I will do everything in my power to make sure people like this do not succeed.
I won’t invest in the neighborhoods where they hang out. Can you blame me?
I don’t need to understand them. I don’t need to feel sorry for them.
I only need to not be like them. If I go into your store and get lousy service, that will be the last time I patronize your store. I vote with my wallet.
I don’t need YOU to approve of me because if I did, that would mean that what YOU think about me is more important than what I think of me.
God is my judge, not you or anybody else. I will treat you as I want to be treated by you. If you don’t reciprocate, I won’t hate you, but I won’t associate with you any more than is absolutely necessary.
This is basic stuff and has nothing to do with Funny names or nationalities or races. This has to do with common decency and spiritual priciples that transcend Race. I’ll get off of my soapbox now…

30 07 2008
EJ

My name is African because my parents are African. I also consider myself African American (literally representing that I am from both cultures) despite the complaints I’ve gotten from black Americans that I am just black because I was born in America. Ijeoma (pronounce E-Joe-Mah), which is my name, is a traditional Igbo (Nigerian) name. I learned very early in life that Ijeoma was not going to fly in America. The nick name for Ijeoma is Ije which is pronounced EJ. Ije also proved to be an issue, so I shortened my name furhter so that I wouldn’t have as much trouble fitting in.

You can only imagine my dismay when I meet chilren who have these ignorant names.

For example: I have a friend who was pregnant. Her boyfriends other daughter’s name was Heaven … she decided it would be cute to name her daughter Destiny so their names would match. Realizing her mistake two years later, she is now calling her daughter by her middle name, Sidney. I guess she wants her daughter to be able to obtain employement outside of McDonalds.

Oh by the way, I have a brother named Okwudili – pronounced as its spelled. My mom’s name is Florence and My dad and older brothers names are Peter. I can feel these kids’ pain …

31 07 2008
Chris

My ex was named Klevelandria…take a guess to what her dad’s name was? You guessed it Cleveland! Go figure…

31 07 2008
Jen

^ what the FUCK?

31 07 2008
Nice

Oh, Troll

2 08 2008
Aussie

I’m white and from rural Australia, and I’ve never met an African, African- American etc. However we get a lot of American TV here and I see a lot of the black Americans with strange names, but it seems more of an emerging culture thing happening, not necessarily a bad thing. I can totally accept black Americans either mixing African names and English names, or even making up names. What I can’t stand are young white Australian mothers, with easy access to names from their English, Italian, French or eastern European heritage, calling their children names that don’t sound too unique on a black American child, but sound completely ridiculous on a white Australian.

Examples of some children I know:

La’Sette
Shanisha
Kortny Latifah
Maarkoyla
Toshia

An out- there name on an African American doesn’t sound that bad as it seems pretty common to give them one, and at least they can carry one with some attitude. These kids above, all white as snow, have no chance.

2 08 2008
chaoticdiva

lol @ Aussie…

4 08 2008
ai

as an east african it really pisses me off when i see arabic names get murdered. we don’t name our kids these names just because they sound nice, we give them these names for personal value. i’d rather have a “regular” name than a name my parents came up with while playing scrabble.

my friend knows a grown man who’s first name is “our God reins”
now what would you call him for short?! thats not a name its a sentence.

4 08 2008
The Polish

Had a bud in the Air Force named Javelin. Thought that was either genius level irony or just stupid. I called him Chuck. He got it the frst time. We had many co-workers who never caught on. BTW- Japanese names have meanings, they are essentially hippy names. My wife’s name means beutiful freedom and her sister’s name means snow.

7 08 2008
toddyenglish

I knew a girl in elementary school named “Quantreka.” QQ.

Oh and I thought I was the ONLY person who knew a: Precious, Dynasty, and Treasure. I kid you not…I knew ALL three at some point in the last few years.

8 08 2008
Golden Silence

White, Black, green, whatever—the parents who put absolutely no thought or effort into naming their kids need to be slapped.

I knew a girl whose first name was Pleasure and last name was Gainer in high school—no lie. What were her parents thinking? Good grief.

I remember in the 90’s when HBO did ethnic retellings of the fairy tales: “Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales For Every Child.” They did one on “Beauty and the Beast.” From what I remember, there was some of that “naming your child what virtue/object you want him/her to grow up with” going on. The son was named “Tree” because his father thought he’d grow up to be big and strong like a tree, but the son grew up to be lazy. And the one daughter was named Precious because the father thought she’d be such, but apparently this didn’t come true. Name that was lived up to was Beauty, since she did grow up to be one.

I just find it so funny that art imitated life in terms of the thought process of naming kids.

9 08 2008
heather sf

stupidest name i’ve ever heard:
a white girl named ‘God’. pronounced “Gee-oh-dee”. whites, especially self proclaimed hippies give their kids really fucking stupid names too. i went to high school in rural maine with two sisters named Sunny and Summer Lovejoy.

I think Lovejoy is a historical last name, but still, if your last name is Lovejoy don’t name your kid after rainbows and happy things.

10 08 2008
Aussie

Oh, and one I forgot from my list: Miracle Blue.

Sounds like a toilet cleaner or washing detergent, but this poor kid’s stuck with it now.

11 08 2008
Jay

I work for a grocery store chain and did an audit on our WIC checks and that’s where you see the most insane names black and white.

Keanu Djimon

Americus United

Jinatee Samuaria Intylyana

12 08 2008
ViK

http://fox61.trb.com/news/wtic-0808-almighty-supremebeing-allah,0,400487.story

Almighty Supremebeing Allah Arrested

^^^^I think that goes into Bad Names Hall of Fame

13 08 2008
Darryl

I once taught a child named “Creonka.” A fellow teacher said: “I swear these niggas are runnin’ out of names.”

13 08 2008
Jade

I work in a school and the worst was
VONNIQUISA
I though I was going to be tutoring a child from another country BUT…it turned out it was a little black girl that lived in the neighborhood, the same one her mother and father were raised in.
The name is pronounced Va-nisha, don’t know how or where but it is.

Once when I was studying abroad I got a list of the girls I would be rooming with and they all thought I was going to be a snobby white girl (it was just black girl me) and the Tashawnna was going to be a ghetto black girl (snobby white girl)

14 08 2008
Joseph

Re the comments from Chris the author vs. Chris the Vietnamese, I think the real issue is why are 2 of the biggest minorities in the US hating on each other when there is plenty of racism to go around already? The sad truth is, we Asians do make fun of Black people’s names, not just because they are stupid names, but because they are stupid Black names. Most Asians are horrible racists especially against Blacks. Similarly, many Black people don’t seem to realize that the Asian name they are mocking probably means something beautiful in a language that is thousands of years old. More importantly, that dismissive attitude is exactly the same one used by the white bossman when he passes on a Black-sounding name in the pile of resumes (and in a nice demonstration of reverse racism, hires the Asian guy who is presumed to be smart, hard working, etc.).

All I’m saying is, let’s make fun of people who deserve it, i.e., because they have done something stupid like making up a fake name for their kids, not because of their cultural heritage or the color of their skin.

14 08 2008
Pookie

You guys are killing me! LOL

😄

17 08 2008
I'm here

“We all know that asians get their name from throwing a pan down the stairs and listening to the sounds”

“ping pong pang motherfucka”

First of all I just thought this was the funniest comment!!! Anyway, (sighs) now I dont feel so bad about my name. I hated my name for awhile and I am now just starting to embrace it. YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES I’m glad there are people who express the same frustrations that I have about dumb-ass names for black children. I just wanna ask their parents what heck were you thinking?

*Prime example*
My 21 year old cousin has a one month old baby girl. Now her name is Au-nahjah…..Yes thats her name and I definitely did not know how to pronounce it and I’m taking a stab at the spelling. I am embarassed for my poor little innocent cousin. The day she was born, I talked to my cousin at the hospital and I was like “How do you say the baby’s name?” The first thing she says is “Ummmmm” ???????? Now that’s bad when the own mother doesnt know how to say her own child’s name. That is some craziness for you! We’ve got to do better black people!!!! Simplicity is key!

17 08 2008
cracker bait

This girl I used to date told me this story of when she worked at a kindergarten. It sticks with me because it is both sad and funny and I can’t really tell which. I woman was bringing her daughter in for the first time. She asked what her daughter’s name was and the woman said what sounded like “Pah jah may”. She said “that’s an interesting name, where does it come from?” The woman said “oh, I saw it on a clothing label once and though it sounded so pretty so I named my daughter that.” That’s when she realized she named the poor girl Pajamas.

17 08 2008
I'm here

Oh and let’s not forget the stripper names that are given to little girls

Peaches
Diamond
Cinnamon
Co-Co
Cherry

Just to name a few. A hot mess!

18 08 2008
Zuz

The taking inspiration from random stuff to name your kids is a class thing. Swedish young, working class parents do this too – I knew one girl named Melissa, which I thought was sweet, so I asked her parents where it was from, to which they replied “our vacuum cleaner” (it’s a brand there.) Otherwise they go for a lot of American, tv-inspired names, Jim, Phoebe (unpronouncable there…)
I don’t know why it seems to be a class thing though, to seemingly think your kids’ names through less or take inspiration from random, more shallow things? I guess it shows a lack of pretentiousness which is nice, but, I don’t know… I guess it’s because they tend to have kids when they’re younger? The need to be unique probably wears off with age. I’m personally glad my mom didn’t name me Dirt Devil or something just because we were broke.

21 08 2008
Mel C

It’s all subjective, highly so. My name is English, but I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, so nobody knew how to say it… I hated it for the longest time, until I moved from New Jersey and everybody was ok with the pronounciation and the spelling. My husband (poor thing) has the middle name “de Jesus,” which in Spanish means “of Jesus.” Even his mom is regretting that one. She forbade him from naming a “junior.” We argued and thought and studied for months to finally arrive at our daughter’s name. We arrived at the English version of an old name, something everyone can spell and say correctly.
On a different note… I work in HR and get to see all the ridiculous names given to EVERYONE. It’s universal… the younger the person is, the more likely they are to have a strange name.
And how about that family they keep showing on TLC (or one of the Discovery channels) that have 18 kids and all their names start with the letter J??? WTF??? They should have chosen the letter M, but that’s besides the point. Can you imagine less thought put into one’s name than having to choose one with the letter J? No thought or reason just “Oh, we have another one, let’s name it JIKES!!!”

22 08 2008
Marcus

I went to school in Silver Spring, MD, and I will say that the majority of the African-American kids actually had “normal” names (Adam, Brandon, April, Samantha, Carrie, Christina, etc.). There were a couple of ones who snuck in (I remember a girl named Keshaun, for instance) but they were rather few and far between (and my high school was more than 40% black, pretty high percentage for a Montgomery County public school). And even though I go to an HBCU, I still don’t come across that many stupid names (and Lord knows I expected to).

But when I DO come across a stupid name, it isn’t just a little stupid (like an altered spelling of an already existing name), it’s REALLY stupid (there’s a girl I know named Niecy (like Niece with an “E” sound on the end), but it’s her nickname. You wanna know her real name? Aquaneesha. I about fuckin’ DIED when I found that out! What were her parents thinking?!

People who know me already think I’m an Oreo, well just wait until they find out that if I ever have a daughter, I’m either naming her Rebecca (Becky), Madison, or Ava (three of the whitest white girl names you could think of), and if I have a son, his name with either be Maxwell, Aidan, or Shane.

25 08 2008
Teacher Creature

When I was in grad school, I taught a freshman-level class at my university. On the first day, I went around the room, calling on people using the computerized class roster. I came across a young black lady with the name LaVreen, which I pronounced “luh-VREEN.”

She said, “No, it’s luh-VRIN.” (short ‘i’)

I said, “Oh, ok, luh-VRIN,” but she shook her head and said, “No, it’s LA (short ‘a’, emphasis on first syllable) -vrin.”

I said, “Ah, okay — LA-vrin.” She said, “No! It’s luh-VREEN.”

I said, “luh-VREEN.” She said, “No, it’s luh-VRIN!”

Starting to feel like I was in the twilight zone, I hesitantly said, “luh-VRIN.”

Exasperated with my obvious ignorance, the young woman huffed and said, “Mr. Smith! It’s FRENCH!”

She barely got a C- in the class (completely irrespective of her name).

25 08 2008
confusedkenyan

What I don’t understand is why African-Americans who want to name their kids African names choose Swahili. First, don’t most have ancestry in West Africa, not East Africa? Second, Swahili is a language derived from the Arab-East African slave trade–ironic, to say the least!

25 08 2008
novikent

I have to say, the most ridiculous names I ever came across were given to white children at a daycare where I worked in Richmond VA (old money south kids). I have watched children named Seegar, Hartley, and (my personal favorite) Slaughter. Yes, this kid’s parents named him after a synonym for violent murder. Personally, I’d take Shaniqua over that any day of the week.

25 08 2008
Nat Nabob

Regarding Sarah. This is just a guess. It was Sarah in the Bible who threw out Hagar, the concubine who was forced to get pregnant by Abraham because Sarah couldn’t get pregnant. I believe this is supposed to be the source of the ancient Arab-Israeli conflict. Jealous Sarah was willing to let Hagar and her baby Ishmael die of thirst in the desert, and steal Ishmael’s birthright.

Maybe that doesn’t hold up because there are black men named Isaac, who was the favored son Sarah then had with Abraham.

25 08 2008
kilo

True story:
In the 80’s at Landover Mall in MD, I managed a store. I was introduced to a salesperson named Cruzita (ok…). A week or so passes, and I have to process payroll for the 1st time. I pull the time cards and see that Cruzita’s name is actually spelled “Cru-T-i-Z-a.” Boy, do I feel stupid; I go find the girl and apologize — have I been mis-pronouncing her name all this time as Cruzita? Oh, no, she assures me, it’s Cruzita. But, I point out, it’s spelled C-r-u-T-i-Z-a — that’s “Cru-TIZA.” Why is she called Cru-ZITA?

She tells me “That’s how it pronounce.” Actual quote.

(PS, I am black, and my name is Kim.)

25 08 2008
Hypatia

To be fair, Mercedes was a name before it was a car.
Also, Portia = fine. Porsche = not so much.

25 08 2008
Hugh

Reminds me of an article I read recently about the success of actual Africans who immigrate to the US. (40% of Ivy League blacks are of foreign extraction).
They were reported to feel estranged from American blacks in part because “American blacks are always angry…everything with them is race..”.
This whole odd-ball name thing is a rebellion against the dominant (Anglo-White) culture, but as is usual with such negativity it is self-defeating. Dr Cosby is right again. We whites who have hiring power do associate the oddball names with at a minimum low-class behavior. Additionally, it is part of the breakdown of the black family. Most of us give our kids mnames that belonged to grandparents, uncles, moms and dads- especially if they are passed. The black men I worked with were Henry, John, Robert, etc., I’m sure they had grandads with similar monikers. As to the Asians, the old style folks I knew out West had “American” names like Bruce, Ken or Mike- although their birth certificate might have family choices in the ancestral language. The last name was for the heritage, the first for the culture they lived in. With a country full of immigrants it was always a sign of respect and allegience to use an anglicized version of the foreign name . But then, that was from a time when people wanted to be Amerikaans. I do like Keisha though- she’s very sweet.

25 08 2008
SeeingI

I was waited on at McDonald’s by a girl called Loreal. Since there was no accent mark, I can only assume it’s pronounced “Loh-reel.”

25 08 2008
MIKE BLACK SMITH

Aaaw. Without these names, we wouldn’t have a classic rap like “Shaniqua Don’t Live Here No Mo”.

In all seriousness, the asian and Indian kids are actual authentic names. What the blogger was railing about was bastardized Swahili names which don’t even improve upon the original.

Quite frankly, Shenaynay, Shaniqua all sound pretty ghetto.

As far as the tendency of some whites to give their kids stripper names, you got that right. What kind of fucking name is Paris Hilton. Or those hippy names like Leaf or River Phoenix. Or what about the continued use of Bubba as a nickname. Dick Trickle, yeah that’s a white name.

25 08 2008
OldWhiteLady

Great post and comments. But black folks can’t claim all the credit for atrocious made-up names. A friend of mine named her daughter Bodae, which is some sort of fossilized underwater bug. Ugh. But she thinks it’s just a bodacious name, and indeed Bodae went on to give her son an equally creative name. Sigh… And don’t forget JonBenet Ramsey (pronounced zhawn-benay, of course), who couldn’t have been whiter. Her father’s name was John Bennett Ramsey, so mom got creative.

25 08 2008
Threreed

Last time I bought a gym membership, the employee who was handling the transaction introduced herself to me.

Her name was Pillow.

She added that her father named her because she was a cuddly baby.

Whew. She’s only a cuddly baby for a couple of years; after that, she’s an adult who deserves to be referred to with a woman’s name. Of any language.

I know a child called Marqel. He will always have to tell people that his name is “Marqel. That’s M-A-R-Q-E-L. No ‘U’.”

To top it off, his middle name is that of a fashion designer. What happens if the desginer falls out of favor with the buying public?

25 08 2008
murketing » Blog Archive » Brand names. No, I mean *brand names.*

[…] names, anyway?” Apart from being a generally well-done overview of the subject, it points to a March post on a blog called Stuff Black People Hate, titled “Stupid Names.” The category of interest to me is “Luxury […]

25 08 2008
abu hamza

I knew a woman from Azerberjian named Lala, for what it’s worth.

26 08 2008
White Guy Input

I am a white 57 year old employer. I have indeed read many resumes and grimaced at some of the fanciful names thereon. I have compassion for those so afflicted but I have to add that the first thing that goes through my mind when I see an obviously black name is ghetto. I have a knee jerk reaction to hiring people from that socioeconomic experience because it is so far from anything I can relate to. When I see ghetto, I don’t think individuality. I think deprivation. Violence. Drug abuse. Minimal language and writing skills born of a thread bare education. A lack of work ethic that is indigenous to that environment. While I recognize that this is stereotyping a whole group of people and is by definition and nature racist, I just can’t help it. That’s what is burned onto my furrowed brow. When I am hiring people, one of the main concerns for me is how will this person fit in with the rest of my staff? As a unit, will we have the necessary chemistry to carry off this endeavor? Will it work and will it be rewarding? I look at talent, initiative, work ethic and social skills every bit as heavily as their work credentials. It’s easier to fake the credentials than the underlying ability to communicate and communication is the key to successful group effort in a corporate environment. Don’t kid yourself, if you can’t spell or speak clearly, it will haunt you whatever your race. It is obvious to read my viewpoint as a racial comment but it is the cold hard edge of the employment reality. I owe it to my clients to provide the best effort I can. I don’t owe anybody a job, my wayward family members not withstanding. I realize this attitude of mine engenders apartheid roles for races in my country and when I do find someone who is black and has the necessary skills I am seeking, I do back flips to help them succeed. Which leads me to make the obvious comment about Barak Obama. Would I be more likely to vote for him if he had a white sounding name? At first, that might very well have been the case. However, I am more familiar with his background thanks to our generous media coverage. As you get to know more about someone, the more common ground you find that you can relate to. That is the case with everyone, I’m sure, across the racial spectrum. The trick is to get Neanderthals like me to want to know you. To that end, if you were nominally cursed at birth, you’re going to have to find a way to make your resume and your interview something special.

26 08 2008
suzanne

Any name is better than fucking Ashley and Brittany. Every other 16-to-25 year old female is either an Ashley or Brittaney. (or variations thereof: Ashlee, Britney, all so very cutesy and SO very unique)

26 08 2008
Jennifer

I’m sorry Raven, but in Chinese we don’t make the sound “ching” or “chong”. There isn’t one character in all of the Chinese language that makes the above mentioned sounds.

26 08 2008
Matthew

Mercedes is actually a very common (and beautiful) name in Spanish (particularly in Argentina…) So I’d take it off your list… Peace…

26 08 2008
Matthew

Sorry about the Mercedes comment… had no time to look at comments… I get your point… Keep up the good work…

26 08 2008
Viagra Pille' Jackson

This is the problem with black people and our mindsets. Almost, everyone with these supposedly “white” names are saying their kids will get interviews with the white man while the asians, arabs, africans and every other foreign born person migrating to the U.S. immediately talks about owning their own shit.
Instead of inspiring our kids to be their own boss rather than hoping someone will give them an interview is akin to slavery of the mind. These names are not the problem in the black community its the mindsets of the people in it….

26 08 2008
hellakopter

My pet peeve about naming children no matter what race or ethnicity is: naming all your children beginning with the same letter. My cousin named her daughters: Madeline, Meredith, & Molly. There is nothing more obnoxious than that.

I worked at an early childhood center: some of the more absurd names I came across: A’Taujanae & Diamond. The latter child would talk on the play phone and was quite endearing. I once heard her say (most likely mimicking someone at home): “Oh no, you ain’t goin’ to the Cluuuub”. I laughed out loud.

26 08 2008
texasgirl

Speaking to all of you who have written, “white people name their kids f’ed up stuff, too!”

Don’t I know it.

I’m originally from a small town in central Texas. Stupid is stupid no matter what color one’s skin…the following names are proof…I actually know and/or know family or friends of all of these people.

When the middle name is key to the absurdity of the name, I’ll include it – so please know that if there’s a second name listed, it’s not that persons surname.

Ok, here we go with the bad WP names: Stormie Cee, Dailey Joye (the previous two are kids of two girls I went to high school with), Brooklyn Bridget (no joke – I worked with a guy who was hugely proud he’d named his kid this), Tommy Dick, Tanya Trenice, Carlos Bill (yes, Carlos is white), Summer Dawn, Brandy Dawn, Starla, Mendy d’Lynn, Dainty (who, thankfully, truly was a small person), twins – Contessa & Teleasha, twins – Karter & Kenedie (I guess their parents had an affection for democratic presidents…but not enough to spell their names correctly), AND, one of my personal favorites for twins – Taylor Jordan and Jordan Taylor (I am not kidding).

So, see??? There are stupid names everywhere. Why, just last month, a college buddy of mine named her son Jet. 😉

26 08 2008
texasgirl

Totally forgot to mention, but, a friend of mine teaches at a charter school in Houston and a couple of years ago had two sisters enrolled at the school: Princess Diana and Beautiful Princess. Their last name was like, Rodriguez. I asked her if they went by Princess and Beautiful and she said, “They prefer to be called by both names.” Can you imagine sitting in class with these two?? “Princess Diana, please turn around in your seat and pay attention!” LOL…

27 08 2008
Sedulia

I’m white and very interested in names– I just found out about your post from a names listserv I’m on. I used to have the usual attitude about these names– that they just indicated stupidity in the parents (or, often, parent, since a good number are named by young single mothers, like the 18-year-old sharing my maternity ward who named her son Antwajuan, pronounced “Antoine”).

However, I’ve come to see these names as traditional in their own right– if you think of it as “traditional” to invent a name– which it is in this particular subculture of American life– that is what the mothers are doing.

Thinking of it this way, I have a grudging respect for the really wild names like Osiris, Davine and Keontyce.

All the same, it definitely handicaps the bearer in mainstream American society, which is not a really smart move on the parents’ part.

28 08 2008
Msanthropistol

I once met a Jamario. Ja Mario. He was hitting on me at my work and I was thinking, “No. I can never introduce a Jamario to my parrents” And everytime I say it out loud, I giggle. This was about a year ago. And the name has stuck to me forever.

28 08 2008
Msanthropistol

ANd no. Even if I were black I would not name any of my kids Jamario.

28 08 2008
Black Suburbanite

F- (I wish I could curse) mainstream America. I know about mainstream America and you guys have more problems than weird names (I live amongst you, I work with you, I went to school with you and I’ve vacation with you – you’ve told me your secrets – but I’m definitely NOT like you). You’re able to hide it better than most people. Believe me, I’ve seen and heard it all from mainstream America and I’d rather my uniquely named children hang out with welfare mother’s children before I let them hang around the psyco/sociopaths in mainstream America.

Thank goodness for antidepressants otherwise the mainsteam Americans (i.e. some white people, but not all) would reek havoc upon our country. Just look at the Clinton crazies. They left their meds at home and now they’re freaking out.

28 08 2008
Nappy AngryBlackWoman

hellakopter (19:33:01) :

My pet peeve about naming children no matter what race or ethnicity is: naming all your children beginning with the same letter. My cousin named her daughters: Madeline, Meredith, & Molly. There is nothing more obnoxious than that.

I worked at an early childhood center: some of the more absurd names I came across: A’Taujanae & Diamond. The latter child would talk on the play phone and was quite endearing. I once heard her say (most likely mimicking someone at home): “Oh no, you ain’t goin’ to the Cluuuub”. I laughed out loud.”

LOL I had to respond to this one! Unfortunately, my husband and his brothers all have names starting with the letter “R.” Strangely enough, the name of their older sister ( who sadly passed on at the age of 3) began with a “Y.” Go figga…..

29 08 2008
Jen

“Trig Paxson Van Palin”

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

29 08 2008
BAW

“Remy” is at least a respectable French name.

29 08 2008
29 08 2008
ViK

I swiped this from the ‘net

http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/12.html

Somewhere a few months ago I got an e-mail about a guy on an HGTV program named Timber Dick. Soon afterwards on my first, pop-up heavy bulletin board, intrepid reader Bob gave us the lowdown on Timber Dick, and I followed up with some research.

Timber Dick has a brother-in-law named Dick Swett, who has served as a Congressman from New Hampshire as well as U.S. Ambassador to Denmark. Each married a daughter of Tom Lantos, who represented California’s 12th District in the U.S. House of Representatives for 27 years, before passing away in Feb. 2008. Lantos, who was profiled in the Oscar-winning film “The Last Days,” escaped from a Nazi labor camp as a teenager and joined the Hungarian underground – he was the only Holocaust survivor to serve in Congress. Between his two daughters and their respective Dicks, he had 17 grandchildren. I voted for him twice.

And there’s even more political connections – Dick’s mother, Nancy, was Colorado’s first female lieutenant governor.

Sadly, Timber Dick passed away in April ’08 from burns he sustained in a car crash.

Update!: Not one, but two of Timber Dick’s kids have contacted me saying yep, he’s real, and a great dad. Turns out he and his brother-in-law were roommates, and both families have a penchant for unconventional names.Included in their combined clans are Keaton, Levi, Chanteclaire, Tomicah, Charity, Kismet, Atticus, Kimber, Zenith, Sunday and Sunny.

30 08 2008
Brittany

I taught a young boy named (first and last) DaFinest Blackman
…yes his mother planned for that

Have a friend naming her son, Dereon (yes, like the clothing line)
…also plans to get the Dereon sign tattooed on her as a token of love to her son

30 08 2008
To My Readers: Farewell « Stuff Black People Hate

[…] Stupid Names […]

30 08 2008
Dave Sampson

I wish I had a more interesting name than Dave… damn, I know about 20 different Daves.

30 08 2008
Ruina

Is the name “Dick” very appealing to see written anywhere? I don’t think so.

30 08 2008
Zheng Walu

What’s next, are you going to criticize all the Chinese names that were evident during the Olympics? Names like Zheng (mine), Wang, Blung? What about East Indian names like Palminderjeet, Harveet, Rupinder, Sanjoti? How about Russian names, Greek names, Turkish names?
Sorry everyone in this world isn’t blonde haired, blue eyed, and named Bill. Why do Americans always think they run everything anyways? They weren’t the first ones here, the Natives were. Are you going to make fun of Native Indian names like Wampanoag, Chemehuevi, Wailaki as well?

31 08 2008
EnslavedRadical

Mia — a very pretty name. Meeiah — a very silly spelling. Poor kid; she’ll pay for her parents’ desire to be different.

3 09 2008
James

Zheng, you might want to check up on your stereotypes – The author of this article is African American.

Dumbass.

3 09 2008
chuni

all of the women in the second pic are ethiopian 🙂

5 09 2008
Ann

Apparently this “bastardization” of names also happens in Asia. In the Philippines, there was a time when all names were supposed to have h’s on them to make them cooler, like Jhenny, Rhod, Abhi (short for Abigail), Mhelanie… you get it? Now parents name their kids with two names and really American-sounding – Ethan Carl, James Daniel… it would be ok IF your last name has a foreign sound into it. But if your name is John Micheal Mautakan – no, no, it’s not going to cut it.

5 09 2008
MDUBB

Must we continue to let something as trivial as a name hold us down. Utter foolishness to read these comments, we are so fucked up as race we don’t know which way is up anymore. A parent can name their child anything they want to fucking name them, and if you think the names fucked up that’s yor prerogative, but to assume that said child will grow to be a person more affected by their name than their actual upbringing is foolish and just another example of Black people having their priorities fucked up.

7 09 2008
sexphd

The only thing black women hate more then stupid names, is men that are crappy in bed 🙂

Come check out Ancient Sex Secrets Revealed:
http://sexed.wordpress.com

7 09 2008
Knight

Here is the thing 95% of black people hate white people and they will try to name their kids anything other than a white name, even black christians will name their kids weird names instead of using bible names, i know their are weird white names to but i almost guarentee you if a person was to ask 100 people “half the people black and half of the people white” their names almost all of the black names will be something that is totally off the wall.

7 09 2008
Knight

Now i am not saying all black people hates white people but i bet if you were to look and talk to the parents who names their kids weird names they will most likely have something against white people because i have noticed that average hard working black people or real black christians names their kids regular names, and black people who kinda dislikes whites will name their kids something weird instead of giving them a name the resembles a white persons name.

8 09 2008
lama

Okay, my nephew was named Dakota Shyanne and is called Coty (which I think is the name of an old feminine hygeine product) and his sister was named Destiny Shyanne. Then I work with a woman called LaTrine’, I kid you not.

8 09 2008
Amy

Re: Merri Lee’s comment about “the chick from the Steve Harvey Show named her son Kal’El, Superman’s birth name” … I’ll admit, I did laugh initially but I knew that the names from Superman had symbolic roots.

The co-creators of Superman, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were both Jewish and the “Kryptonian” name, “Kal-El,” resembles the Hebrew words קל-אל, which can be taken to mean “voice of God”. The suffix “el”, meaning “(of) God” in Hebrew, is also found in the name of angels (e.g. Gabriel, Ariel), who are flying humanoid agents of good with superhuman powers.

8 09 2008
drumdiva

This white girl has not laughed this hard in a long time! I say the hell with all of this politically correct crap – if we can learn to laugh at ourselves once in a while, we’ll be just fine. I work at a university and have also seen some weird-ass names myself. Not just for black students, but white ones as well (and I totally agree with the poster above who said that we have too many Britneys – also too many Ashleys, Ambers, etc. etc. etc. And what’s up with the gymnast from the Olympics named Chellsie? I guess “Chelsea” was too normal).

The other thing I can’t stand is yuppie parents giving their kids names like Braden, Morgan, Madison, Taylor, Haley and Brady. WTF? The nursing homes now are filled with old ladies named Helen, Mary, Sophie, Mildred and Stella. Sixty years from now, they’ll be full of Heathers and Kayleighs (and some of the others mentioned before).

There’s also a three year old in my sister’s neighborhood named Schuyler. I feel sorry for that poor kid when she (yes, she) has to learn how to spell her name – I can barely spell it myself.

The best (or worst) name of all, though, belonged to a guy I used to work with about ten years ago. His name was Richard Head…. ouch!

8 09 2008
Leila

Mercedes Mcambridge was a Hollywood actress from the 50s. Mercedes Ruehl is a current actress. Mercedes Sosa is a Brazilian singer. I never think of the car when I hear that name – it’s a beautiful name.
Up here in Montreal, the Quebec registry recently banned parents from naming a (white) girl Spatula. Nonetheless, a few crazy French names here. Océane, anyone?

9 09 2008
Marie

My mother originally was attempting to make me a stripper. She wanted to name me Amber Topaz(because that’s my birthstone) or Topaz Mariyah (Pole anyone?). Thank god 2 things happened: I looked like my father when I was born and she didn’t decide to ghetto up his name to name me for him-his name is Lawrence Miller and I ended up with Lori Marie….not too bad….I couldn’t imagine running around here with one of the made up names….but I can’t expect anything else from my mother really….she has ‘Allyze’ tattooed on her chest…she’s 56…..

I know a little black girl named Chardonnay Jodeci…..

a little white girl named Abcde-pronounced Ab-si-dee

a girl named Evian…..like the water.

I went to school with a Shelonne-her dad’s name was Shelton, mother’s Yvonne….

a friend sister graduated with a girl named ImUnique….seriously…

and let’s not even get started on all of the girls named Special, Beauty (Thanks Dru Hill!), Satin, Gorgeous, Honey, Peaches…..it’s like a pre stripper convention in these classrooms sometimes.

And I also know a man named Paris and one named Precious…..and no, they’re not gay.

14 09 2008
Allie

Wow…what a post! What is incredible is that this post is exactly what nonblacks think about black names for the most part.

You made some great points!

14 09 2008
Allie

Also, my best friend in high school is Chinese and her parents named her….Ding Ding.

Not surprisingly, she preferred to be called Dee.

Also, a friend of mine who is orginally from Japan is named Saico…that is pronounced Phyco.

14 09 2008
Miss T.

I’m amazed that no one mentioned the name Nevaeh. This name has shot up on the popularity charts and was the 5th most common name for Black girls in 2006 in New York. Oh, sure it sounds lovely, but the name has no real meaning, except that it is Heaven spelled backwards. WTH?

15 09 2008
Miss T.

“Lala” is the name of a character in the play “The Colored Museum.”

Yes, but Lala is also the name of a Teletubby.

15 09 2008
Miss T.

ConfusedKenyan said, “What I don’t understand is why African-Americans who want to name their kids African names choose Swahili.”

The problem is, many of us Black Americans are completely clueless about our African ancestry. It is nearly impossible to trace it back (yes, I have tried, and successfully documented 8 generations on my family tree…all in the USA so far). Africa is a huge continent, with many many languages and cultures and…names. Imagine trying to hazard a guess at which language is an accurate reflection of my ancestry. Perhaps it would be akin to choosing a name from Spain when my actual ancestors are from Norway. Very very different! I don’t think that naming is an easy process. Our family pretty much sticks with traditional names…like the English language version of Biblical names, etc. Our country, after all, is the USA, so it seems most appropriate to choose names that reflect country’s mainstream culture and language.

16 09 2008
freakytype

This is why we have Deed Polls … only problem is – you should be able to change your name before you turn 18. Imagine if I couldn’t change Lucretia as my middle name? I changed my name and the name still tramatizes me – I would hate for anyone to find an old yearbook from my high school. I used to think it was damn idiots from back in the day that did this shit but people are still ruining their kids – black kids don’t need anymore of a low self esteem than they already have – someone just named her kid Nachurel Destiny … for christsake. The child is just 2.

18 09 2008
Karl

I live in Ireland and we have this, but in a different way. A lot of the nouveau-riche and middle-classes (none of whom speak the Irish language) are very keen to give their children Irish names. But they are also keen to be idiots, so they just invent pronunciations for existing names, or just choose a word from the dictionary and pretend it’s a name. For example: Siofra. “It means fairy!” No it doesn’t, it means changeling.

21 09 2008
CJ

My father-in-law had to work with a woman named “Ragina” prounounced like vagina. He NEVER said her name for fear of actually saying the va-jay jay word.
And I swear this is true, I knew a girl named Clitoris sounds like Delores. But the spelling is the same as the body part.

I mean COME ON people.

22 09 2008
Atemi

Well, i have come accross some really stupid names. Such as, tomprameneesha (top ramen + eesha) and shi-thead. I have also come accross amnidectrous and caoslaw. And also, song, that was an occward conversation.

23 09 2008
MzHabs

Some names do really push the limit, but it all depends on where your from and what the meaning is. My children are Eritrean….

Adiam-Girl
Aryiah-Boy
Trahas-Girl
Esias-Boy (like the eritrean president)

23 09 2008
Rosemary

I’m a white chick and I hate hate my name so I have no room to talk I think it’s screwed up, my sisters got the names Holly (beautiful name) and Jennifer (common and boring!). Anyway, I go to a college with mostly black people and I hear these crazy names all day long. I was thinking about this and googled it and found this page. I love a lot of the people I go to school with, a lot are nice to me but damn their names! Anyway, one of my group partners is name, get this, Zipora! Wtf is that? At first I thought it was sephora like the store, so i was kinda like neat i love that store. But then i found out it was zipora and i thought really, where did that come from? I can understand all those categories except for the one where they just makeup names. And i’m pretty sure Zipora is just made up. I hate those types. I can understand mercedes or african names, etc. But geez, stuff like zaquisha? come on!

23 09 2008
Shauna

I was mad at my mother for years for naming me Nishauna (na-sean-na) but I got used to it after people kept telling how pretty it was. I perfer for peopel to call me shauna because when they try to peonounce my whole name they call me everything but my name. I have been called shana, shannon, sheena,etc. now my middle name is worse, Rayshieda(ray-she-da) where my mother got this name from is beyond me. That why when I had my son I named him after his dad which I am so glad he had a what I deem to be a normal nem. Michael Edward. If I have any more children they to will have names that people don’t have to break down to spell. I have heard some names in my day. My 16 year old cousin wants to name her baby Blaze. why doesn’t she just put the drugs in his hand now and put him on the corner cause that sure sound like a drug dealer name to me.

I went to school with a girl named quentonya. My ex friend named her daughter Ty’Janae and got mad at any one that said something about it. her friend named her daughter Jayony. One of my friends cousin named her child Dijonay like the little girl on the proud family.

If anybody is on here from baltimore and they listen to 92Q its a chick on there that gives the entertainment breakdown and her name is Shaneka Shawanna Malika Tawanna Brown. That is like the highest level of fuckery I have ever heard in all my days. or like these celeberties who name their children shit like Pilot Inspecktor or Apple or Honor

23 09 2008
manushkin

It’s a funny post, but why you gotta drag the Asian shit back in?! You must hang out with a lot of Asians, since you have so much racist beef with us!!!! At least our names are real, and have some hereditary background, unlike “Shaniqua” names.

28 09 2008
Neex

I know I’m well late, but In reference to London’s story about Sarah not being a black girl name. Please note, this poster is from London and in the UK it is very uncommon. Sarah is the equivalent to Becky – Rebecca aka Becky is a common name for black women and as I understand it not so much in the US.

As we are talking about cultural significance of names, this is essential to the blog.

29 09 2008
$malls

No lie, I know three kids named Beautiful, Handsome and So Fine and they are the ugliest three kids I’ve ever met.

1 10 2008
Luvin My Name

well I for one love my name. dont really have no regrets about it. sure its ghetto but oh well. my first name is laquanda and my middle is shantae. i think that as long as you are comfortable with your name then thats all thats matters. yea my name may be ghetto but so what…..i’m not. people sometimes call me oreo. so what cause i speak good english. hell i met plent of people with “white” names that are just as ghetto. now im not jocking this post….just simply stating. now with that said and done here is my list….

Cinquanta
Sunkesha
Chinquita
Chanel
DaToryanna
LeTavious
Shandrika
Precious
Cherry

Now funny story…I wanted to name my daughter DeTashianna….ha ha. Now I’m actually glad that the doctor asked her what her name would me. He named her Shania Nicole. Some people tend to think that that is a ghetto name. How is Shania ghetto?

5 10 2008
Marcie

I once met a girl named “Ralphalette” Come on! How about LaRalph? Names mean something. We need to be serious when we name a child and think about that name for the next 70-80 years.

5 10 2008
Sarah

We have a reporter in my town who is named “Porcha”. They pronounce it “Portia”, but can you imagine having it spelled like the porch? Does she have a sister “Verandah”. She is a lovely young woman. What were her parents thinking?

6 10 2008
Andora

Andora is the name(Most people know me by Annie[[over the years I’ve come to hate my nickname more than i hated my real name when i was younger]] some people like to call me andy! No thanks). It’s about 2 months into school and some people are still finding out my name in my classes(I’m a senior in high school) I have a portfolio for art class with my name on it(required) and people read it and they’re like “what does that mean!?!!?!?” “It’s my name” “REALLY??!?!?!” [no you dumb shit i just told you that to see what you’d say] “Yep that’s my real name.” “That’s really pretty!” My father named me(My mother couldn’t have been half as creative. I probably would have ended up with Michelle or some shit after her drinking buddy). I was named after(so he says) Pandora the Greek mythological woman created by the gods and given some of their personality traits(beauty, power, etc.). She was also given curiosity and a box that she was told never to open(i bet no one can guess what happens next!) she opens it one day[SURPRISE!] because the curiosity was just eating away at her. She unleashes unspeakable evil into the world but at the bottom of the box is hope(oh shit yes, bring on the hope!). There is also a country named Andorra(I told my father about it in like. . .9th grade? he had no idea it existed.) And there you have the origins. I enjoy googling myself only to find that Google thinks I’ve spelled my name wrong and need assistance. Life is exciting when you have a name that pretty much no one has ever heard before even though there’s a country with the same pronunciation.(shows how much people know about third world countries.) Sometimes when people see my name and try to pronounce it they say “Andrea” Oh really? I don’t see an e anywhere. . .hmmm. . .OH AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT NIFTY LITTLE O? WHERE DOES HE GO? Oh he switches places with the r and turns into an e? How fabulous! Let me teach you how it goes, ready? article, preposition, article. Three simple little words you use in your everyday language that seem to baffle you when smashed together in a ‘no silent letter tricks’ name.

13 10 2008
Angelina

Ugh I hate this. Why can’t people go.. “I wanna name my kid heaven! but that sounds retarded..” and look up an actual name that MEANS heaven?

Like with my name, it means Angel or Little Angel…though I’m anything but.

i’ve never met anyone with a ghetto name. I knew a girl named Nigeria and thought it was a little strange, but not as bad as Shanequa. My other black friend’s name is Garett and Kevin (I can’t spell Garett’s name so it’s not spelled stupid, I’m just stupid myself).

13 10 2008
Lauren Nicole

I am a kindergarten teacher and I have had in my class
Shardonaa
Khrasmia
Darshunah
Tajaunea
Tavien
and finally unosha

I teach in an upper middle class area, and most of these children are the children of professional people; but there is a disconnect in reality of the names they are giving their children. I suppose no one read Freakonomics.

I enjoy the blog! Keep up the good work.

16 10 2008
my2sense

had a patient named Lemonjello (pronounced lem-awn-jilo) and another named Urine (yur-een)

on second note, WP are just as guilty:
Nicholas Cage named his son Kal-el (supermans real name)
Courtney Cox named her daughter CoCo
Gwenith Paltrow named her daughter Apple….come on now!
Nicole Richie named her daughter Harlow Winter

and LOOK AT SARAH PALINS KIDS NAMES!!!!! Piper and Trig?????

anyone mention Nevaeh (pronounce Neviah) which is Heaven backwards?

I always liked the comic book name Harley Quinn, thats just me.

18 10 2008
Victoria

I know I’m late to this party, but I made (initiated, whatever) one AKA whose name was Willaura JosephLynn.

WTH?

I rolled for days and asked her why her parents named her like that. Turns out her mom and dad couldn’t decide and named her after both of them. She was the sweetest girl, but that name had me rolling for days.

20 10 2008
Mea

Mercedes is a spanish name derived from Mary, which means the compassionate one. So not everyone named Mercedes is named after the car….

24 10 2008
robert koli

got grandkids in elementary school.. if i hear another keisha.. or raheem…or kahlid…or a niesha…..taheera…. rayquan….basheera….. i’ll scream!!!!

26 10 2008
Melissa

My uncle’s step-daughter named her daughter Neveah…

But what I really wanted to post about was this: In high school my boyfriend knew a girl that was named, no lie, Shithead. It was pronounced “shi-theed”. Apparently around the time she was born at a certain hospital the nurses were convincing young black mothers to name their children things like… Shithead, and telling them that it mean “african princess” or some other bullshit.
(Boyfriend’s sister is naming her daughter “Adrianna Wyanet Janae” (father: Adrian))

And as for Sarah Palin’s kids? The oldest, pregnant one is named Bristol.

26 10 2008
Melissa

And I forgot this part:
A good friend of mine’s name is Cheme’ (pronounced: “Shi-mee”), but my dad seems to think it’s pronounced Kimi.

Oh, and that step-cousin who named her daughter Neveah? Yeah, she’s white.

26 10 2008
Ojamas

Did you leave out a category for creatively-spelled names? I’ll bet money we are going to see a ton of kids named “Burrock” and “Obomma” with birth dates in 2009!

26 10 2008
Ojamas

Sometimes the name is not initially so bad, but over time it evolves into something unintended. When I was in 2nd grade (1970) there was a boy in my class (first name) “Gay” (last name) “Hope”. I don’t think Gay had yet taken on the meaning in popular use today. I’ve heard the name more commonly among women, but he’s the only male I’ve ever heard with it. I wonder what ever happened to that kid. Speaking of gay names, have you noticed a trend among lesbians to take androgynous names like “Jabe”, “Kade” , etc? I assume they are taking these names as a result of their gender identification and were not given the names at birth. Not a criticism, rather an observation.

27 10 2008
yes I have a white girl name

First I want to say that I love love this blog. I fortunately have the uber white girl name Brittney Nicole. As a hiring manager I have come across some interesting names here are some examples Naqueeshetta – she goes by Kesha I actaully hired her because her resume was awesome and I try not to discriminate. There was also Shontrayveia her resume did not pass the test. The best ghetto names that were recently told to me is a child whose mother was upset because of the school mispronouncing her daughters name which is La-a pronounced Ladasha, seriously this is in TX. My all time favorite is an employee of my mother’s neice named her daughter Millionare Tonsomoney (Tons of money) LaShay Jones this one definitely takes the cake

30 10 2008
Sahm

Hey this website is terrible, racisim is for stupid fricken confederate hicks.

31 10 2008
the carboli kid

I recently read of someone – in vegas I think his last name was Chips and his folks named him fishin omg Fishin Chips-by the way great site I gotta to go take a leak so I don’t piss my pants-the Carboli Kid

2 11 2008
Buster

What IS up with the francophonization of names? Why the french? Is it to sound creole? Or is it because of the higher status of colonial french-owned blacks in the old south, who were freed earlier and rose to higher status than the later scottish/english/irish-owned field slaves?

I’ve always wondered.

7 11 2008
Jamie

Mercedes is actually a very common girl’s name in spanish-speaking nations.

10 11 2008
Maxium

I’m a white man. There are plenty of whites who name the children stupid names. Mine is one of them. Who was that trashy white actress who named her daughter… Apple!!! Thats to me is the TOPPER. I can see guys in College, saying, I like to take bite of that Apple. So it runs in all ethenics groups. Oh another I hate Gunner….talk about white nerdism.

15 11 2008
use a nickname

Alright, if people want to have these ridiculous fuckin names, use a nickname…one time I was listening to the radio and this chick calls in and says her name is “Pumpkin”, wtf, was she conceived on Halloween? did her face look like a jack-o-lantern when she was born…what gives?

18 11 2008
EI

How come people only want to rag on Black names?

19 11 2008
Perris

My brothers received normal names. Robert, Brian, and Charlie (charles heh) My sisters name is Lyssa (from the movie Krull lol) Everyone calls her “melissa” or “Lisa” As for my name…i absolutely hated it as a child. “Paris France!!” or Parisite! anyways…now…I get “Paris Hilton” I work in a call center and when i answer the phone “Hello this is Perris speaking…blah blah blah”. Is this Paris Hilton!! tee hee hee. or if its a guy….Ooo Perris huh? lemme fly out there and take you to dinner. its getting pretty annoying. especially being compared to Paris Hilton…I wish my name was emily or something. As far as what race we are, its Jamaican, Irish, Spaniard, and Argentine. I do like to brag about being jamaican though lol. but ppl mistaken me as either middle eastern or Puerto Rican. This white guy was actually sad that i wasnt puerto rican. oh well. anyways yes i agree that ppl should be giving their children unique but less traumatizing names. My husband claims to have Norwegian in his blood…claims. When we had my daughter, he would not budge with the name he chose “Freyja” its norwegian and sounds pretty, but the way its spelled ppl tend to pronounce the “j” and it then sounds ghetto. this asshole did say it sounds super ghetto. and her last name is Jackson…heh. Anyways we are expecting another child. this time i get to choose the name. Now if its a boy, I am choosing the name Osiris. It works for any genre i think. If its a girl her name will be Isis. i think its sounds dark and threatening. Im kinda into dark shit. Now my husband is choosing the middle names, again he wants something norwgian. his first pick so far if its a boy, Himdall….I flat out said no…that is fucking ugly. and i told him to pick something that is not norwegian because it is very hard to find a decent name in norwegian. they have Olga and Hilda. Nothing against norwegians, i love the scandinavian culture. but we dont have to pick the names. anyways i think the names i picked are beautiful and powerful without sounding ghetto. yeh? yeh?

-Perris

19 11 2008
Perris

sorry didnt mean to write so much

20 11 2008
Pam

I thank God my parents gave me the name Pam. It’s easy to pronounce and I’ve never had anyone butcher it. Surprisingly, I don’t meet that many Pams but when I do, they’re mostly white. People often talk about whites giving their kids weird names like Apple, Pilot Inspecktor but you need to realize these kids will not likely need to venture out and look for jobs like Tolabia or Delontae. Their parents are rich and they’re set for life for the most part. Someone mentioned that Barack Obama’s name is unusual and that he’s risen to success. That is true however, I’m inclined to think Barack is a real name with a real meaning. Not some mumbo jumbo made up name like Buntrika. Asians have different sounding names as well but they are REAL names with real meanings and don’t forget that many Asians adopt an English name when they come to America……there is a reason they do this and I think African Americans need to take notes. I’m black and have a few Asian friends and what they do is give their children English first names and reserve the middle name for more Asian names. There is a lot to a name and certain stigmatisms are attached to names. When you hear the name Lexington Grant, I’m sure you’ll concoct an image of some smart, Ivy League graduate. When you hear the name Shabookiyaye or Shakeeta, you’re likely to think neck-twirlin’ ghetto gul. We need to be careful with giving our kids any kind of name. They already have shaky footing in the world and the last thing they need is added difficulty in life. I’m okay with African names but even many Africans I’ve known had English birth names. I own a copy of the movie Shaka Zulu, as it was going off I took note of what I thought would be some beautiful African names but what I saw were names like Conrad, Margaret, Gordon and the guy who played Shaka was actually named Henry Cele. When I do have children, their names will be something like Heather, Rachel, Caitlin, Luke, Mason or Conner and I will give them REAL African middle names or Native American middle names. Both are a reflection of my Creek, Catwaba and Tswana ancestry. Yes I took a DNA test and my African Ancestry is linked to the Tswana people. I refuse to give my children some made up first name that has no meaning and is associated with a lack of culture and identifies their race from the start.

22 11 2008
Shameeka

Coming from a Shameeka that has passed her 30th birthday please give your children a fighting chance. The sad thing is…the people that need to read this article never will. They are too busy watching BET to figure out how to make a name out of Biggie, Tupac, Jay-Z and Diddy. “BiTuZiddy” might just do it…

28 11 2008
albert

some of the names i know, (actual people) and believe me, each one of these people is just as ignorant and stupid as their name sounds, i’m telling you the truth, low-class in terms of intelligence and integrity, not finance.

juneesha (pronounced jew-knee-zah)
muneerah (pronounced moo-near-ah)
akahndra (pronounced a-kahn-dra)
myeesha shalam
kwofit (pronounced coiff-it)
saleem
shalonda
tunisia (pronounced two-knee-zah)
mazzaratti (like the car)
enteria (pronounced interia, like interior without the r)
kwamaad (pronounced kwah-maad)
dueewah (pronounced do-eee-wah)
mukarrahma (can you say it? moo-ka-rahm-ah)
raekwanda (must be raekwan’s sister or something)
doomilla (due-mill-ah)
maleemah (ma-lee-mah)
shameekah latrell

now for some names that “other” weird people name their kids, yet it’s a different story. they aren’t ignorant, they just do drugs and have dysfunctional parents

apple
moon unit
rumor
dweezil
boomer
placenta
joaquin (go on wah-keen)
daytona
cash

whatever !

29 11 2008
CapriceClassic

Well, I know I’m like 6 months late on this post. But I JUST found this site only to find it’s no longer in effect. *sad day for me*

I’d like to add firstly, according to one poster, that ORLANDO is not a name that should be included. It’s not ghetto by any means, nor is it strictly a retarded black name. But yet you claim you’re a teacher? Woodshop and Gym don’t count.

Having said that, my ex-friend named her children like she had something to prove because she’s only HALF black. The results were devastating, but in her defense, her non-black mama pulled the same on her. Well, since the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree – go figure.

Her name: Deseanemonique – pronounced “duh sha monique” one word
Her kids names:
Sharmarra
LaShawn (she gets a pass)
Devarian (a BOY) sounds like Dr. Kevorkian. Jeez louise.

Devarian? REALLY? This madness must stop. But since the president is BARRACK instead of John, Mark or Paul, I doubt it ever will.

2 12 2008
Elaine

I met a teacher once who said there was a girl in her class named “Female” (pronounced Famahli) – when she asked her who had given her such a pretty name, the girl said that her Mom told her that after she was born she had been named by the hospital had come home with it on her wristband!!!!!

3 12 2008
shaaronie

In Baltimore, a friend of my cousin, named her son Sir and her daughter Madam. She says they would always get respect. The boy is older by several years and his middle name is Vaugn. She called him Sirvaughn so I didn’t realized that Sir was his first name until Madam was born.

3 12 2008
John From The UK

I totally agree with this shit! I’m British mixed-race ( Jamaican dad/English mum) and find most of the names I hear on your talk show imports ( Maury, Jerry Springer, Ricky et al..) highly amusing yet offensive to the point of thinking that black folks in the States are actually mentally retarded when it comes to naming their children!
Me…? I called my daughter ‘Freya’ which your average ‘Taniqua’ type mum might find racially traitorous (Freya is the Scandanavian goddess of fertility…),but it sure beats the hell out of the name ‘TANGELLA’ which sounds like something that you might put on your toast in the morning…Black Americans should understand that by naming your kids something completely ridiculous only enhances the views of your average racist that blacks are as dumb as fence post;after all,it’s your poor children that have to suffer the said name for the rest of their poor little lives and not YOU!

4 12 2008
OBGYN's Grandson

My grandfather assisted women delivering their babies for three decades and told me once a black woman named her daughter “Placenta” cause she heard them use the word and she liked the sound of it?!?!?!?!?!

Placenta ?!?!?!

6 12 2008
Pam

I can’t believe people actually name their daughters Female! I first heard that name back in the early 80’s watching the movie “Cat People”. Ruby Dee played a woman named Female, pronounced of course fee-MALL-ee. and spelled exaclty Female. I thought what a phucked up name and who the hell would give someone such a stupid name…….and of course here we are today with dumb women naming their daughters that. And while we are on it, here are a few ghetto names I came across this week while processing claims

Yokesha…..boy I thought I had seen it all with the Keshas!
Demontrez….stupid parent. Why would you do this to your son!
Mingkoya……obviously a black person watching too many king fu movies
Tyekia…..oh my goodness. Mrs Ghetto Fabulous!
Zantay……yo’ homes wat up! (Yep we know you from da hood)
Wykela….WHY???????? Can I please ask your mom this!!!
Shaquann……..couldn’t figure out if this was male or female

And now it’s time to play NAME THAT RACE! You can’t see their face but you may be able to name their race!

Jeronthay Biggs
Myonka Saunders
De’Trevion Johnson
Madelyn Snider
Luke Coleman
Laquintiona Morgan
Le’Andre Bell
Koynovia Irvin
Noah Garrison

And the winner is………………………………..

6 12 2008
Ana

@Rosemary:
Zipora (or Zipporah, or Tzipora) is Hebrew, and means bird — it was the name of Moses’ wife in Midian. Kind of an interesting name.

My name — Anastassia — means ‘resurrected’, and is spelled in a way that preserves its Russian/Greek pronunciation. I’m black. I used to loathe my name; no one could pronounce it, even after I sounded it out for them. I’ve also been called ‘Anesthesia’ more than once. *rolls eyes*

Eventually, I grew into it…it’s nice to have a name that provokes conversations and that non-Americans don’t mangle. I now thank my mother for the name she gave me. It’s mildly humorous to explain to people I meet online that I’m not Russian…

6 12 2008
LaKeisha

As a LaKeisha, I can tell you the name is actually quite old and does in fact have meaning, unlike some of the modern names mentioned in the post and comments. It not Swahili, though, as some mistakenly believe. It evolved over the past several decades from Keesha, which was nothing but an Americanized form of “Kezia” – a biblical name, one of the daughters of Job; the name is Semitic in origin, specifically Hebrew. The La prefix was added in Louisiana, in the traditional manner of the French-speaking culture here. Americans (those not from Louisiana) adopted the prefix and begin sticking it onto any random thing they came up with (e.g. LaJordan, LaShaniqua). And then, they began to come up with their own (e.g. DaMayn, JaRain). In other words, LaKeisha or Keisha is in no way comparable to the mess people are making up today.

9 12 2008
EJ

I tutored a girl once named Hypnotique… yes, like the alcohol (I know right?) She wasn’t black, she was Mexican and had a Mexican last name. Maybe her parents were shareholders and thought it would be good advertising. I also knew a kid named Hardik in middle school. He was Arabic and I’m sure it has some meaning but everyone just called him Boner.

11 12 2008
Ms. Practicality

I once heard that of parents who their daughter Atheist Evolution to reflect belief God had nothing whatsoever to do with her creation and parents who named their daughter Surreal Turquoise Spiral. Can you imagine that? And Moonunit and Dweezil think they have it bad!

There was even a couple (true story I promise) who called their daughter Tallula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Fortunately, a judge in this case took the girl into custody and gave her a proper one which was kept from the public to protect her privacy.

By the way, I named mine Susanna and Joshua. Does anyone have a problem with that?

11 12 2008
j

Plaxico Buress.

11 12 2008
Pam

J,
I was just thinking what the hell kinda name is Plaxico? I mean what was his momma on???? Anyway here are more stupid names I cam across this week

Bhisha….pronounced like Kesha
Samonica…..Monica would have been fine
ShaTom….should have left it at Tom
Lashovia…makes me think of anchovies
Anzabia…..okay, lets get real now. This sounds like something out of the Amazon River!

12 12 2008
Loin

I’ve ran into some people named:
Csondria (Son-Dree-ah)
Kcedro (Kay-seed-roh)
Dynesitnie
and of course George…

12 12 2008
DeVarian

my parents named me devarian no clue why but its pronounced “Day-Var-Eeee-Un” Im of Jamaican and African decent but i never heard someone named DeVarian.My brother’s name is very traditional black it’s Trevon(Treh-Von) but my daughter has a real name Stephanie Anne-Marie

12 12 2008
BraystreetLad

At least I look like one of my nicknames(“Brady”,which means “handsome” in Gaelic)
and I’m also called “Bray” for my braying tenor voice,unusual in a black man.

12 12 2008
BraystreetLad

And most of these blacks who have retarded-sounding names have illiterate,crack-
head parents.

14 12 2008
BeachJustice

My name is Brian William, and it is the most boring name ever damn i want to change it it fucking sucks. Mostly because I hate the name Brian.
i don’t know about LALA tho.

19 12 2008
El

My name is El’Martez, and 90% of the time i give my name i have explaining to do. I am a Black man but just by the name most people assume i am part spanish, I’ve heard everything from are you a dancer, singer, artist of some sort, and even What the hell were your parents thinking?!!! Althought it’s evident that a have a unique less common name, i would never change it.
-El

24 12 2008
John Albert DePorter

Yep, I’m white. I think that’s fairly obvious from my anglo name. At any rate I had always wondered growing up (in northern Illinois), why so many black folks went out of their way to name their children what seemed to us white people to be “rediculous” names. There was a serious breakdown in the communication between the blacks and the whites in the community that I lived in, so we never got together to discuss it. I did meet plenty of black “Johns” though, but I’m still waiting to meet a “Melissa” or a “Jane”. I love the name Jane and I think it’s about time someone name a black girl Jane. If nothing else it helps to bridge the race gap? An argument to that could be that white folks should seek out more traditionally African names for their children. Can’t say I’ve come across one yet…. I did meet a white kid named Kamal, which I don’t see as a necessarily black name, but I have met other black guys named Kamal, but that’s the only example I can think of. Their was (back in the late 1800’s, a lady who named her daughter ‘difficulty’. the woman was later hanged for the murder of the child. Hmmm…. Later people!!!

25 12 2008
I love people who address this. « Inside the Mind of a Surreal-Doused Writer

[…] I love people who address this. Filed under: Uncategorized — Ariel @ 10:59 pm http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/2008/03/14/stupid-names/ […]

28 12 2008
Sunrise

How about Majestic Mapp?

He played basketball at Univ. of Virginia in the 80’s (90’s maybe?)

Majestic was blessed with having a little brother named Scientific…

No BS. Look it up.

As Mike Patrick (ESPN play-by-play guy) said….”unbelievable”.

Now I wonder just WTF Ms. Mapp was thinking ?

31 12 2008
Bill

My grandmothers full name:
Mary Ilder Catherine Susan Virginia Emmaline

1 01 2009
John

In my wife’s first grade class, she has a Lil’Frank and my favorite Lil’Willy. No come on folks, names have consequences. If you want to name your child after yourself, use the standard method of , Jr. And when Lil’Willy get’s older, he looking a serious jail time for public indecency. How many times will that boy pull it out just to show that Lil’Willy’s Willy ain’t that Lil.

Also, Le is masculine and La is feminine. Plese if you must name your child Le/La, get the gender correct. And while I’m at it, D’ should only be followed my a name that begins with a vowel. Oh fuck it, why can’t we just name of kids John and Elizabeth. Hell, even Willie is a normal, albeit black, name.

2 01 2009
Etemology

I’d like to note that both Mercedes and Carmelo are actual names. Carmelo/Carmela is an Italian name that means “Garden.” Hence, going to Macaroni Grill, and there’s a dish called “Carmela’s”. It’s not uncommon for an Italian boy to be names “Carmelo” either.

Mercedes is a Spanish name that means “merciful.” People were named Mercedes LONG before it was a car.

Also, Chanel is a French name, which can be spelled “Chanelle” or “Shanelle” as well.

Now, I don’t know why it’s suddenly wrong for a black person to name their child “Carmelo” “Mercedes” or “Chanel” when those are actual names that existed before their famous namesakes. It’s thinking like that, that annoys me a lot.

Also, “Hope” and “Destiny” are the same type of name as “Serenity” and white people name their daughters those names as well. Serenity is a beautiful name, and if you check name records in America, from the mid 1800s til now, you’ll see how naming trends change. You might find tons of “Archibalds” in 1860, but in 2000 you’d find a lot of “Jaylens”. That doesn’t mean people are ghetto, that just means those names are popular during a particular time. Now-a-days, the trend is to name your child something different, or something so normal it’s different. Hence, a lot of things like “Maddox” and a lot of things like “Jack.” Most new mothers around my age will not touch the “Shanequas” because we’re the generation that had to endure that horrible naming. My parents, however, did well. My name is Raven. My brothers are Andrew and Austin.

Anyway, I agree on most of these names, but it’s just wrong to assume something is ghetto (Carmelo) when it’s an actual name.

2 01 2009
Etemology

ALSO can people learn the difference between “stupid” or “ghetto” names and different names?

Nothing is wrong with the name “Harlow.”

And “real” names change all the time.

ALSO, the stupidest name in the history of mankind is perhaps Jabez from the Bible. His mom named him “pain.”

Just because a name isn’t as ancient as mankind itself doesn’t mean it’s stupid. I want to name my son either Kale or Keane, which aren’t classical names, but I think they are nice. Plus, Kale is just a diminuative of “Caleb”.

Besides, look at history of names from the SS records in the US. Some names didn’t even exist 50 years ago that we consider normal names now. “Shannon” for instance. “Betty” only became popularized in the 1900s, and that’s about as normal a name as you can get. ALSO, way back in the way back, people had names like Aedlewise, but NO ONE has those names now.

No sir.

4 01 2009
Huss

Lalla – pronounced the same as La La I assume – is quite a common epithet in Morocco. It means “lady” in the local dialect of Arabic and princesses of the Royal house for example are all referred to as “Lalla X” (insert given name).

In most cultures it is more common for girls to be given the more ridiculous names – as historically they carried less significance than those of men, and men’s names would be carried down by the children in the forms of patronymics – either as a middle name, as in Barack Hussein Obama (Sr.) or Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin, or as a surname as in the Celtic and Scandinavian O’Donnell, Mackenzie or Sorensen.

6 01 2009
S

Oprah’s name was simply a mispelling and misprununciation of the Biblical name Orpah.

8 01 2009
a rose by any other name

“I can understand what your saying, but I have two words for you – Barack Obama. Who would have ever thought that the name of the first potential black president,”

His given name was actually “Barry”. He started calling himself Barack after he visited Pakistan. And he’s only “black” by definition. He is half white genetically and grew up mostly white/asian culturally.

I’m sensitive to this sort of thing since i come from a creole background , (Mobile, AL). They had distinctive names. Mostly with a French origin, but also some African influence.

8 01 2009
....

my name is Jemaica
i know its spelled wrong.
i went to school with an Asia and a China
🙂

8 01 2009
J.C.

Being from Fort Worth and working at a black community center… I have some.

La’Toga… Saquarius… Myopya…La’Vonte’… Dunta’ ( pronouced DAHN-TAY)… Le’Knowceeous… Samaatreeya…and my favorite… Le-a… (pronouced Luh-dash-uh)

8 01 2009
Nikki

1) I happened to stumble upon this blog and I am hooked! This is amazing and it only pisses off so many folks because a lot of it is true. And extra points for it all being so eloquently expressed…seriously, some of the burns you hand out are inspiring!

2) Thank God (again!) that my mother gave us all “normal” names as well (Nicole, Victoria & Myles), although I got bitch-slapped at birth with an effed up middle name. Before HS graduation, my school had us WRITE it out our names on a roster in its correct spelling, as well as with a PHONETIC spelling if necessary. Needless to say, I had to write both, and both the spelling on my diploma and the pronunciation of my middle name was butchered to hell at my graduation ceremony.

3) I have been to school with a Tequilla, DelMonte (like the fruit company) and a Valdevesio (?). My favorites? Finesse (for a boy) and Jiffy (for a girl).

FUCKING. JIFFY. Why not just call the damn child Cornbread!?

8 01 2009
Nikki

Oh and one more thing…a friend of mine, who happens to be a successful Black man, wants to name his daughter “Stormy”.

I asked why…Because it came from some movie he saw, blah blah blah. At that point I decided to tell him that a) that is something you name a pet cat, not a child and b) there is already a major porn star by that name, so it’s really not a good choice for a daughter. His rebuttal was, “What! It’s unique and it sounds WHITE! I like it!”

All I can do for his daughter is shake my head and pray.

8 01 2009
Nikki

@ Albert…

you forgot “audio science” and “pilot inspektor”

yeeeeaaaahhhh…..

10 01 2009
Bon-quishana

This article is great, but the posts make this priceless!!! I taught in DC for a few year and went to beauty school. I can’t begin to list all of the crazy names I’ve come across. The best one is LaTreviette. I think the dad was named Trevor. (Sidenote) – It’s really sad when the girl is named after her father and he is no longer around for whatever reason…

13 01 2009
Bryan Crumpler

“Give me enough milk and beans, and I can say any word in Vietnamese with my butt.”

Aaaahaahah… aaahahahahah… ahha.. haha. hahahhaah.. aaahahahahahahaha…. ooooooooo god…

I haven’t laughed this hard in ages. THANK YOU!

15 01 2009
Declan Sparrow

Oh those blacks and chinamen, they’re so ridiculous! But what about those indians?! Arun? Vishnu? And arabs? Mohammed? Abdul?
No, they’re just not ‘good’ enough are they?!
Just because a name doesn’t look like names you’re used to, it doesn’t mean it’s stupid! It’s called DIFFERENT CULTURES! They are ‘normal’ names elsewhere!
Stop being so fucking ignorant and racist! Don’t knock a name because you don’t know it’s origin!
I’m English but I’m part Irish, which is why I was called Declan, it’s Irish origin. I get people all the time saying, ‘that’s weird’ just because they don’t know it and fair enough, it’s a rare name but it doesn’t make it weird! Just different!
And I’m proud that I’m original! It’s good when you get people saying ‘that’s a cool name’ or ‘that’s unique’ and my favourite ‘I wish I had an cool name instead of…’!!
But I cannot defend the so-called ‘ghetto’ names, some do go too far! But it’s just a way of being different! Better than being just another John or Britney!
And need I remind you of some classic ‘white’ names! Names like Red and Bear?! Or you know what, let’s not have one name, that’s too boring! Let’s have a Bobby-Joe! Or a Betty Sue! My favourite Rex Hart, meant to mean King of Hearts! Some names have the best of intentions but just end up stupid! So ok, laugh at those but don’t laugh at ‘black’ names or ‘chinese’ names! It just makes you look like a racist ignorant twat!!!

15 01 2009
Declan Sparrow

Ok, I’m sorry for my previous comment. I linked to the article without seeing anything about the site, and after reading it I went on to make assumptions that this was some racist blog. I’ve now read your reply to the Chris guy above as well as the ‘Why-you-shouldn’t-read-this-blog’ section, laughing at the fact I myself have just made the assumptions! So I apologize. I’ll lighten up for the rest of it!

20 01 2009
Christa

My mom was an OB nurse back in the early to mid 90’s. She had a patient name her baby Ice-T. She said she went back 5 times to make sure before she wrote it on the birth certificate. She also says that she has heard with her own ears not just black women, but young mothers in general, comment on how they like the sound of the word placenta for a name.
By the way I love this blog, hilarity insues reading it.

21 01 2009
Jennifer

Best blog ever, although I do think you may have missed out on a lovely lady with Ms. Lala. But you did her a favor, as far as I’m concerned: any man who judges me on what my parents named me (that isn’t offering me a job) is a little too snotty for my tastes.

I’ve worked with kids for ages, and the names have gotten so bad that I’ve resorted to calling them by their last names for years. The two stupidest names I’ve heard by far was Laskeisha (and yes, you pronounced the S) and Aarone (pronounced uh-ROW-nay). My people, I beg you: stop taking a Scrabble bag into the delivery room.

29 01 2009
Moka_Glam

@luvmyname

Keisha and Tamika are classic african american names that are celebrated and should not be placed in the same category as the many jacked up names mentioned here. By the way, ‘Melinda’ is seen as a black name too. It’s also very common amongst black women. We’re discussing ridiculous names here, not good black names. Let’s recognize the difference.

29 01 2009
Moka_Glam

Also, if you are naming your child hoping that their resume won’t get thrown away, then you are delusional anyway. First, teach your child that they should never want to work for ANYONE that will judge them based soley on their name and not their accomplishments and qualifications. Secondly, you should not even raise your kids to beg for a job from Mr. White man. I think the ghetto mentality and the delusions of acceptance and assimilation are equally disturbing and still keeps us down.

There are obvious ridiculous names , yes, but come on…some of you all are putting down beautiful and very legit names Jamaal, Keisha, Tamika, LaTasha, etc. there is nothing wrong with those names and they are nothing even remotely similar to Corvoisey, Jeranee’Ka, Devon’taez.

I agree with the person who said it best here…two words: BARACK OBAMA

How about three words: BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

Whose daughters names are Sasha (like Keisha) and Malia (like Tamika) Ha!

*dusts shoulder*

30 01 2009
Moka_Glam

@AsianwithAsianName

You have no proof that Laquisa is not a relevant name. All names are made up anyway. Somebody made up Phuc Phoo and that may sound just as much like gibberish to someone else as Laquisa may sound to you. Personally, I can appreciate both names.

P.S. Laquisa is derivative of the German name Lucretia which may also sound like “gibberish” but is indeed of nomenclature.

So what’s the bottom line here folks?

4 02 2009
Travis Andrews

This is my first time on this site…
…love it
And the LL-O’s have to be the most annoying…
…there’s a sense of entitlement involved in that whole package
The name AND the person it’s attached to…

Trav

5 02 2009
6 02 2009
links for 2008-10-28 « Afrodescendiente

[…] Stupid Names « Stuff Black People Hate (tags: humor) […]

7 02 2009
Winter

I have a very easy name to pronounce but because I fall in the “west indians with an uncommon and overly stuffy name” category, even white folks have a hard time with my name (even though they can pronounce ish like Bjorn Lippenschweitz). The only reason why I get a pass is that it is easy to spell and it’s gender neutral.

However, I have seen Chianti — ain’t that a wine?
LaFelicity , because just Felicity wasn’t enough.
Imikia — im-MIK-ee-ah. very good.

Oh and Asians get it too: I went to school with a chick named Dung. She had a very hard social life in school.

However, I do acknowledge that black folks have been naming their kids Heaven ever since we’ve been alive.

7 02 2009
Shavonn

my family is native american and irish and we have some unique names. Zelma, Arietta, Arleeta, Zeldina, Melvina, and of course, mine, Shavonn.

growing up i hated it because it was so unusual and constantly mispronounced. i just wanted a normal name. now, i kinda like it and everyone always tells me how pretty it is. i’ve come across other people with the name and they have all been black people and they always say they expected me to be black too and that i had a name like a “sistah” fine by me!! btw, the name is irish gaelic and it’s original spelling is Siobhan. i have the more common phonetic spelling, which i’m glad for.

8 02 2009
Jitterbug

I worked at a hospital for several years in medical record. The most rediculious one I heard was… Placenta… yes, she heard the doctor saying it and thought it was so pretty.. no one could talk her out of it, even when it was explained it meant afterbith.. so yes , some poor child is going through every roll call at school, and probably everywhere, catching hell about that name

8 02 2009
tinkerblair

hello to all out there in blog world…. just writing this to say that i have a name that is sort of uncommon.. and i dont mind telling you what it is.. it is Jeweline.. and before you start with the comments.. i am named after my grandmother no my grandmother is not 35 lol my grandmother before she died was 75.. she got her name from a White woman.. i hear this name is popular among ppl in the south white and black and even some asian’s its spelled jeweline.. but pronounced jewelean… i’ve never heard anyone say my name was ghetto or black.. ive only heard positive things… like what a gorgeous name.. wow your name is pretty and alot of other poisitive feed back comes from white ppl GO FIGURE…

9 02 2009
Dawn in NC

I’m white, and my parents gave me this (what I always thought of as a) hippie name. Most of the other Dawns I’ve met in my life have been seriously redneck, so it’s pretty embarrassing, but it could be worse.
I have aunt named “Winifred” (OMG, but she’s over 80 now, so whatever), who has gone by “Wynn” (with the inexplicable switch of the ‘i’ to the ‘y’) most of her life. Her son Brian named his daughter “Brynn”. Good lord.
To make it worse, I have another cousin who recently adopted her foster son. His birth name was “Jesse”, which she thought sounded too redneck (they live in TN). Her brothers’ names are Kevin & Brian (not the same Brian!), and she is single. When she adopted Jesse at age 2, she changed his name to “Brevin”. That kid is going to learn how to fight early, if you ask me.

10 02 2009
Auda-bus

There are a boatload of morman where I live and most of them do missions trips. Some have had the privelidge of serving in black urban centers in the midwest and east coast.

I live in Boise White-a ho, nice place but could use a tad bit mo’ flava and some more people to do our hair (which is another post).

So these we exchange experiences and this story comes up. The missionaries are doing ‘call-backs’ to the likes of

Shithead
Lemonjello
Orangello

How would you pronouce these names??

Answers below

Shithead (Sha-THEED)
Lemonjello (le-MON-sha-low)
Orangello (O-RUN-sha-low)

I guess everyone deserves a chance…

10 02 2009
Auda-bus

I can write and speak english well, really!

…A boatload of ‘mormans’…

…So we exchanged experiences (me and these morman people)…

I was laughing so hard at the previous posts and typed in haste, it is hardly understandable. Forgive me!

15 02 2009
SweetPea

I live in the deep South & have really enjoyed this post!
I work in the medical field & have run across all or most of the names I’ve seen here today. Here’s a name I’ve run across that I have not seen mentioned yet:
Jumanji (female, born mid 90’s just after the movie of the same name came out.) She also has 3 brothers with unusual “J” names that I cannot remember just now. I also ran across a girl named Nephratiti with a last name like Wilson. If she’d been Egyptian and if her mother had spelled her name like Queen Nefertiti, it probably wouldn’t have suck out so much.

Here’s another good one. My friend was in nursing school in central Alabama in 2006 & while she was doing her rotation on the Labor & Delivery floor she was filling out a birth certificate with a mother for her new daughter.
“What are you naming your baby?”
“Di-air-E-ha”
“How do you want to spell it?”
” D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A”
My friend looked up…..”You realize that spells diarrhea, right?”
“Nuh-ah, it spells “Di-air-E-ah”
“Yes ma’am, but that is how you spell diarrhea. The runs? Would you like to spell it a different way?”
“No.”
“Okay then. Diarrhea it is.”

17 02 2009
NITA

fuck whites ur rednecks
fuck asians u stink
fuck everybody

17 02 2009
peter pan

this world would be better
if everyone would mind their own biz
who cares what someone name is
im pretty sure not everyone agrees with your name even if itz hannah or sara
those names are plain but you dont hear me complainin
im a white male who looks past the ignorance
all i can say to stupid people of all races is
GROW THE FUCK UP
GET OVER YOURSELF
if you dont like black people then hey you dont like `em
they dont give afuck your not anyone important to them
i also find it very funny how whites and other none black races can
talk a whole lot of shit on a computer car or whereever
but can never stand face to face with black people
and talk shit then
its not that your scared
its just 09 nobody got time for this shit no more
im cool with black people if you get to know them im pretty sure everyone else would to not all blacks are the same
its a stereyotype
AND THATS WHY OUR PRESIDENT IS BLACK
AND WHAT CAN ANY OF YOU RACIST PEOPLE DO ABOUT IT
TRY SOMETHING DUMB
IT WILL BE MAJOR CHAOS IN THE STREETZ
THATS WHEN WE`LL ALL SAY FUCK THE POLICE
YOU WHITE PEOPLE WILL BE NIGGAZ
idont think im black either i just preffer 2 be social i hate stupid people

18 02 2009
fozmeadows

I live in Australia, and I’ve heard about some really weird names. The worst offenders:

Breeze (Not a great start for a boy.)
Winsome Buttsworthy (A woman’s full name. I saw it written and nearly died.)
Alien and Predator (These were brothers.)
Epiphany Squelch (Full name. Even worse, her parents called her Fanny. Yeah.)

18 02 2009
LeShell James

I’m laffin’ me azzzz off here with these posts. As we say in Australia… GOLD!!!!

But….it would seem no culture is immune to such stupidity with birth names. There is a player in our Australian Football League (pro athlete) whose parents must of decided the surname of Sidebottom wasn’t bad enough…. they went the extra step to help him out with the first name of Steele.

Steele Sidebottom – hmmm…. frickin stupid!!!!!! Worst name I think I have come across from Australian parents, who are usually conservative.

Some other players names are Chance Bateman, Jobe Watson, Tayte Pears, Cleve Hughes, Cruize Garlett, Levi Greenwood, Eljay Connors, Farren Ray, Jarryn Geary, Dawson Simpson, Campbell Brown aaaand there are about 10 or so “Jarryd’s”… this must be the new trendy way of spelling Jarrad.

However, that being said…the above names are really quite tame compared with some of the names i’ve read on this site! FUNNY they are to read… but thank GOD it’s not my name!!!!

19 02 2009
Jj

Tanyshwia and my God-Brother Syncere….

22 02 2009
day

The poor girl named lala! Would you have preferred the name APPLE, hell, how about MOONUNIT or FUNKY WEATHERBEAN?

23 02 2009
tj

i like my name as it is is beautiful but people are named different things for different reasons and a name doesnt gurantee you success anymore than failure unless the narrowminded asshole that is worred about something so petty as a name misses the rest of what that person has to offer….so who’s unfathomably ridiculous? the person who can’t help their name or the fuhkhead w/the nice name and immature, shallow ways. get over urself, i’m sure u like Beyonce’ and that name is stupid and she’s a bitch

23 02 2009
tj

plus, od rather my folks put some thought into making my name and therefore my thoughts of self original, than naming me after my aunt or uncle who was a conman, child molester or kkk member just because the name sounds good, its a family name or it will look good when u grow up…character makes u who u are not a name and its saddening to see so many nice named ignoramouses comment on others names…i guess its ture that u should keep ur mouth shut to avoid showing how much of a fool u are….racism, hate, ignorance, shallowness, fuhkd up judmental attitudes have all shown just because of someone’s name….we havent even gotten to appearance, personality, color, etc….it’s sad how many issues life has and how we dwell on such small things and miss the bigger picture, reading these blogs i see why, people’s minds are warped

25 02 2009
Amanda

Different countries and cultures have different naming traditions. In America we can name our children anything we chose- we can even chose any last name we want. If we chose to use a Swahili name, we do not have to use Swahili naming traditions, no matter what Swahili people may think of it.

Parents have a right to name their children anything they want. (I think Shithead is going to far, but I can really recomend no action against it.) Making fun of other people’s naming choices or practices, or saying that people “should” name their children names that we approve of is rather idiotic. So is assuming you know why someone has chocen a particular name. You don’t know unless you have been told.

Some people will always believe that others have a duty to conform to what they believe is right or acceptable. And some will always chose to ignore that and do what you want. Its funny we say, “People should not name their kids Shaniqua because other people will judge them poorly or not hire them.” Yet if someone says, “Well, people SHOULDN’T discrinate against poeple because of their names.” someone will say, “But they DO.” We except one thing as a given and go on to be frustrated by another thing that is just as much of a given. You can not control what other people name their kids, so it’s a waste of time getting upset because you don’t approve of their choice.

What is considered “rediculous” and “unecceptable” is a matter of opinion. There will ALWAYS be someone who dissaproves of your child’s name (because it’s ugly, it’s stupid, it’s the name of somone who bullied them or because it rhymes with something mean.) Each parent makes their decision based on their own knowlege and criteria. I personally would never name a child anything that could be mistaken for a body part or body function (examples include: Dick, Peter, Ralf, Willy) or even John (bathroom) or other synanym of anything negative including Phylis which reminds me of Syphalis. However, I do not feel that it is wrong of others to name their child such things. I do not say, “How could you name your child Dick, do you know the hell they will go through for that name?” A child’s name is a personal choice. That is my feeling on the matter.

As for myself, my name is Amanda. I was born in 1975. As a child in the 80’s I wished that my mother would have names me something “hippyish” like Sky, Star/Stardust or Rain/Rainbow. It took me about 30 years to like my name, or even to feel that it was pretty. It always seemed completly “plane” and boring.

I’ve known a girl named Veveyell (no idea who to spell it, pronounced V.V.L.) and she was white if it matters. I don’t know if it’s made up or “real” but it’s real now. Personally, I’d rather be named Honey or Bambi than Courtney or Pamela. If you want to name your kid Nightlight it’s really no ones call but your own.

The name leaves a mark on the person, but the person also leaves a mark on the name.

Some people I’ve known include: Darton, Charla, Char, Cherie, Johna, Jonnie (a girl), Namastay, Genia, Orlando, LaTonia, and more. You get used to them pretty quickly and before long, they don’t even sound strange to you anymore.

3 girls in a class named Unique is funny, just because of the irony. But still, there is nothing WRONG with it, any more than three girls named Amanda, Beth, Michelle, or Jenny.

25 02 2009
Amanda

I also think that La la is a beautiful name. (And Alazay is also pretty.)

The moral of the story is: “To each their own.”

It’s quite obvious that a name that is “horrible” to one person will be “wonderful” to someone else. No matter if it’s Alice or Fluoxetine. Some will like it, some will not. Obviously someone liked it because they selected it for their child. So their was something about it that appealed to them in some way. No one name (or any parenting decision ever) is ever going to make everyone happy.

So name your own kids and never mind what others name theirs.

25 02 2009
"Rainbow Starglitter"

I’ve personally never liked Hugh Jackson’s name because it sounds like a porn name. Apparently, my oppinion hasn’t crippled his success in any way.

25 02 2009
"Rainbow Starglitter"

I’ve personally never liked Hugh Jackman’s name because it sounds like a porn name. Apparently, my oppinion hasn’t crippled his success in any way.

26 02 2009
Funk Method 3000

What I really can’t stand is people with names that have origins in already fucked up names (not lying, I go to school with a girl called Destinisha. Like Destiny with an -eesha sound at the end). It’s absolutely infuriating. Before I knew she went to school in my area, she friend-requested me on facebook, and I thought I was being solicited by really desperate pornstar. I told her to go (literally) fuck herself because she was one of those chicks who take extremely revealing photos (but just enough for it not to be considered illegal) of themselves. There should be a list of names mandated by the government, and after birth, the parents must consult the list and choose a name (any requests for different names must be filed to a court of people who, no matter what, will deny any stupid sounding name). Of course this will never happen, but wouldn’t that be great? No more social awkwardness when you’re at a bar and you meet a scary woman named “DickPants”.

28 02 2009
Melinda

True story.

Kindergarden teacher called a mom in for a parent-teacher conference. The first time the teacher said the child’s name, La-uh (she pronounced it Lay-uh). The mom corrected her saying, that dash ain’t silent, it’s La dash uh.

Poor kid.

3 03 2009
Terrence

Wow. It’s amazing how volatile this topic is. I get good laugh out of many of the names such as “Shithead” or “Placenta.” The situation with Three “Unique”s in one classroom is priceless. But what really kicks my ass is how emotionally charged everyone gets about this whole subject. They’re just names! That’s all. Funk method wants to have a governmental mandate to order people to give their children only the names HE feels would be appropriate. Sweet guy. I should introduce you to another genius named, “Adolph.” You guys would be fast friends.

I’m an old hippy. I named my children, Valor, Champion and Essence. I like names that have an immediate recognizable and significant meaning. But I can respect “Moon Unit” or “Dweezle.” For my money, just give me anything that shows a little more creativity than “Junior.” But being named Junior is a great honor and tribute to the man who fathered the child. Who am I to judge? As much fun as this blog has been to read, let’s wrap it up with the words of Rodney King.

“Can’t we all just get along?”

Peace.

4 03 2009
dont have to tell u

stupid black cotton pickers rofl

7 03 2009
Soell

People name their kids a lot of things for a lot of motives. But name use is constantly changing. For example the names Evelyn, Leslie, Marion and others used to be men’s names, but now who in their right mind would call their son one of them? Gay used to be a woman’s name because it meant happy. Really, I wouldn’t want to be one of the surviving old ladies named Gay and I’m not homophobic, but I don’t think anyone would want to name their daughter Lesbian. In Mexico the name Brian has been adopted but they spell it Brayan and then pronounce it the same. Also in Mexico there are a lot of Arabic names that have religious significance such as Omar and Fatima, there are also a lot of unpronounceable names from the native Mexican language Nahuatl such as Cuautemoc or Eloxochitle. You can find a lot of those Najuatl names on the http://www.babynology.com, for when you meet Latin Americans with very strange names. Also I know sometimes one just screws up, I named my first son Dorian which because we spend a lot of time in Mexico wasn’t too good because everyone thinks of Dorian Grey stockings. Good thing his middle name is something very ordinary.

7 03 2009
Soell

I forgot about a family with the girls named Candy, Cookie, Taffy and Ginger. I think I’m missing a name too, but all the kids were named after food. Worse, the whole family was very overweight.

8 03 2009
Hana

I knew some dudes with the names “Choe Du-Ho”, “Kim Dong-Hwi” (Kids called him “Ding-Dong”), “Park/Bark Jun-Bum”, and “Suk-Hyun” (Pronounced “Suck-Hoon”). They barely even spoke English.
And my cousin has been watching Sister Sister, and she’s only 2, and her mom is pregnant. Keep in mind that they’re white. So, she goes “Mommy, are you going to name the baby Shenene?”. Everyone knew she thought that was a black name.

13 03 2009
Roger Toomey

Reminds me of the woman that picked up literature at the OB/GYN office to name her twin girls….. Sy Phillis and Gon Reah.

14 03 2009
Cassie

Ha, mine beats everyone’s:
I went to college with a girl named Sha’Dynasty
and I swear about 70% of the teachers called her ShadyNasty
e p i c f a i l

14 03 2009
Paul

This is post was funny and true. It’s sad, but in a way it’s just another way that blacks continue themselves down – as if that was really needed. Good work.

14 03 2009
Paul

Damn, I meant “This was a funny and true post. Too bad black people keep doing stupid shit as a group”.

14 03 2009
Really!

In my lifetime I have known blacks with these types of names.
The ones I still remember are, and I am seriously saying the truth:
Dejanay
Keontra (kee-yawn-truh)
Passion
Ty’yana
Patryce (Puh-treez)
Sinammon
Rekeeba (sounds like someone messed with the name Rebecca)
Karneeta (carnita=little meat is spanish! and is a type of meat, shredded meat)
Takeeda (yes, like taquito! a girl taco?)
Pinyaada (like a piñata!!!)
Paqueeda
Trenice
Tanika
and so many others. Just watch one episode of Maury…

18 03 2009
Mr. Tinkle

Hey as far I know, I am black, and I plan on naming my children white, and nice suitable, and beautiful names. Like Antoinette, and Vienna. Not black names I cannot understand. I act white, so I don’t understand black slang.

~I am girl btw~

18 03 2009
Mr. Tinkle

I am black, and I refuse to name my children any of those names. I am naming them suitable names such as Antoinette, or Venice, or Priscilla. I can’t even understand half of the black slang, and I have ben commented I act white.

~I am A GIRL SO DON’T TAKE THIS A A GUY NAME~

18 03 2009
Mr. Tinkle

I have the name Florence like in Italy. And a ghanian name that follows, because we are ACTUALLY FROM AFRICA. There is a difference betwen calling someone african american and black.
btw sorry about the double post. Computer wasn’t working right.

18 03 2009
Mr. Tinkle

Paul you do not know how hard black people struggle do you?? I find it amusing too but it is a stereotype that black people are doing stupid things.
Do you have any black friends?? Not all us black people do stupid things. I mean my dad joined the army, had us, and I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

18 03 2009
Mr. Tinkle

Don’t have to tell you, go screw a pig! because all my family memebers have french names.

21 03 2009
a solution...

This has all been very funny to read but brings up very valid points….

It dosent matter if you are black, orange, white, blue or purple- because it happens everywhere!!

Why would anyone want to blight their poor defenceless child for life?? (or at least until the are 18 and have the sense to change their name) other kids are so cruel and life is hard enough without creating extra difficulties!!!

In the family i married into the procedure is: the new mummy and daddy narrow it down to their top 5 names, those names are then run by my mother-in-law and she weighs up and chooses the top two and then the new mummy and daddy pick from there.
At first i thought this was a crazy family and wondered what id got myself into!! but my mother-in-law then pointed out that its sometimes good to have an ‘outside perpective’ for some things! She was right, it stopped us from calling our daughter ‘Jenny’ which is not a terrible name in itself… unless your surname is ‘Taylor’ ….the problem is not initially obvious… until you say it three times fast… Jenny Taylor, Jenny Taylor, Jenny Taylor…hear it ??? Genitalia!!

So maybe new parents should have to go through a ‘baby naming quiz’ is should involve such key questions as:

What does the full name sound like if i say it three times fast???
– this would have helped out 2 of the ‘namefreaks’ that i went to school with:
Ben Dover (bend over) and Theresa Green (trees are green)

When choosing this name were we under the influence of any drugs or alcohol??
-just because the child is caused by tequila, it dosent mean everyone needs to know that!

Are 3 apostrophies in one name really neccesary?? Do they help others to pronounce the name? are you sure??

Is this child ever going to be able to spell or pronounce it’s own name?
(before the age of 16!!)

Is anyone else ever going to be able to spell or pronounce the childs name?…with a straight face???

Is this name also the name of a fruit or vegetable?
-your child did not grow out of the ground so don’t pretend it did.

Is this name also the name of any brand of car, alcohol etc etc?

Do i really need to add two more “q’s” to this name?..realy really??

Have i checked this name in every available dictionary and name book to ensure it does not have a nasty meaning?

Is this name masculine enough for my son?

Is this name femmine enough for my daughter?

Is this also the name or similar to the name of any sexual organ??

Is this name likely to mean that my child is going to be bullied for every day of highschool??
-do you really want to be the parent of the one who reached breaking point an did ‘that’ highschool shooting

If i give my child this name are they going to have any career prospects other than macdonalds?

If i went into a stripclub would one or more of the strippers have the same name as my child??
k’krystall, bambi, kandi and randi chose that name as their ‘stripper name’ and do not go by that name in real life so why should your kid??

Why am i naming my child after a country that i have never been to???
-watching ‘one night in paris’ does not count!!

Does this name make any sense for the country that my child is going to grow up in??

Am i naming my child after a famous person?
– how would you feel right now if you parents had called you Elvis??

These are just basic questions but some people clearly need to ask themselves them!! and in some cases then someone else needs to go recheck!!

22 03 2009
Craig

My favorite was “Shaniqula”

23 03 2009
pfirsch

FitnessDiva, surely you are being facetious about the name Mario. I live in NC and I know at least two Marios that are part of the African diaspora–one is in his late 20s and the other is in 10th grade.

25 03 2009
David Mozina

Heres some names ive heard over the years: Frostee, Korvotney, Lazar, Ranquentin, Zycorrian, Arian, Bertrell, Quindarius, Aurrelious

26 03 2009
yetanothersinglegal

u stoopid…

that is all

27 03 2009
Anzabia Roberts, Sr.

Yes, that’s right…there is TWO of us.

And the both of us are just as brilliant as are names! Now for those of you who are at the unfortunate disadvantage of having little or no creativity…I pity you. The name is the make up of who we are. It is also an illustrated insight of the One who creates us. The world is overly tired and heavily burdened with the names like Becky, Sean, Alan…or even the infamous Micheal. If you could manage to pull yourself away from the computer (get a life!), go outside and open your eyes to the splendid originality that is designed before your eyes, you would witness the examples of such unique and extraordinary creations. The so called melting pot of this world is bubbling over with distinctive, exclusive, and matchless loveliness such as MYSELF. …Thank You (and I exit)

27 03 2009
Hot Gym Girl

Placenta! Now I really HAVE heard it all! LOL!!!

27 03 2009
little brown girl

in the Philippines, we have our own brand of stupid names:

Bhoy (as in Boy)
Dawnah (Donna)
Jhenny (for some reason a lot of parents think adding an H makes the name cooler)
Eprel or Ayfril
Marjunie and Jenefer (both are grown men that I know)

my mother is a pediatrician and has encountered some of the strangest ones…

Dominique (for a little boy…my mom tried to convince the parents to change it to Dominic instead but they refused)
Marquise (again for a little boy)

and the kicker…QISLSTAIN. Pronounced “kee-suhl-stine”

29 03 2009
Ryan

I laughed so hard when I read this article, and the one about the federal judge ruling out stupid names.

A lot of black people will argue that their name is African, Indian, Arabic, or something, but… seriously? It seems that these people have totally ignored originality when it comes to naming their kid. Although they claim it’s original, their mother was probably watching a commerical and picked out the name.

The whacked up spelling of normal names pisses me off. Are these people so racist that they get a ‘normal’ name yet mess up the spelling to seem more ‘cultural?’ I end up pronouncing names wrong, and people think I’m racist. Yeah…

And a thing about native names to Africa or India, don’t get a name like that for your kid if you’re going to live in an english-speaking country. There are some names that are easy to pronounce in an African dialect, but extremely hard to form the syllables for in english.

And then are some names that are so messed up I have to ask myself, “Did this person just throw up random syllables and write them on a birth certificate?”

3 04 2009
so yeah

I’ve met someone named Trishondrella…that might be it idk it’s definitely something like that tho

9 04 2009
Stacia

The worst names at my school are
Layloni
Brenice
Ngoc (pronounced “Now”)
Xuan (pronounced “su-AN”)

And these aren’t that bad, really. Being a midwest school it consists of a lot of abbys, natalies, ashleys, andrews and bens. I like my name (pronounced stay-SHA) but it was kind of a slap to the face to realize I had an “acia” name. My favorite names to date are names like ella, ophelia, and adelaide. Pretty normal names.

9 04 2009
vahinelei

well, this is not peculiar to the balck community- we hawaiians have all kind of jacked up names- myself included. it was not until i went to college on the mainland and met people, yes, black, who had jacked up names like myself. ce la vie.

9 04 2009
vahinelei

first name is a ghettofabulous name
2nd maternal grandma- old white name i never met ANYONE with
3rd paternal tutuwahine/grandma- always used this one- Hawaiiam
4th name- korean for my 1/8 korean. most common name in korea.
(Hawaiians liked interracial. Out of maybe like 280,000 part, only 10,000 pure left. And we are all jacke dup- so how we are is dependent on how your house raised you adn what you look most like (since that’s how people treat you). We are white (some crazy jew in there- but white nonetheless since if your family aren’t speaking the mother tongue and have no idea about the motherladn, it is what it is (meaning, of course, no one can gatekeep your right to family heritage or ancestry, but as for us- not exotic white. just white.), hawaiian (speak the mother tongue, live in the motherland), portuguese (speak the mother tongue, live in the new land, still do the pdugee ways) , korean no speak the mother tongue, live in the new land, but slant eye and hate on the brown side who intermarried & proclaim all thing Korean to be superior).

14 04 2009
Wurld's Gratist Teecher

I am a teacher in a low income area and I would say that I rarely meet an African-American student with a “traditional” name. It is interesting to note, that the parents in our school who have achieved higher levels of education use recognized spelling patterns to name their kids, while the “ghetto” parents just throw letters in a hat, pick them up and call their kid “Antwine”, (pronounced Antoine).
Educated spelling: KeJuan
Uneducated: Ke-Won
These were two kids in the 5th grade. I had a boyfriend in high school named XaLaVier (pronounced Za-La-Veer, he went by “Za”), whose brother’s name was Karletheius (went by Karl) and whose sister’s name was Varisa (went by Christie).
It’s just interesting, that’s all. I’m sure there have been case studies done somewhere about African-American spellings and how they differ among social classes. Many of the kids in our school already face overwhelming obstacles to success: daddy’s dead, got taken away from mom, raised by grandma, living on welfare, etc. It seems a strong name could only help a person. I know that some of my “babies” in my class will be successful adults despite their names, but they even ask, “Why does everyone make fun of my name?”
I oversimplified my own children’s names
Isaac, Holly and Sally. As you can see, I went out on a limb with Isaac

21 04 2009
Jaine Blaize

Mannnnn listen! I’m all kinds of late on this post but I had to jump in because I have been collecting ghetto azz names for over a year now…..everytime I heard one or saw one, I dropped it into my BlackBerry.
Aside from all of these people being black, a majority of them were kids with parents that were mostly on drugs, in jail or deemed unfit. The others that I met…..let’s just say that I was amazed at how normal they really thought their names were. Then there’s the ones that had a double embarrassment because their middle names didn’t help them out a bit. *Shaking my head* . Anyway, here’s the list…. stop reading if you feel a headache coming on, ok?
~ Jaine Blaize

Jamiracal
Desjambrae
Thessalonica
Davondrick
Jerkyma
Juanyae
Varsety
Tydarius
Dontavious
Kysarius
Kieandre
Tevontae
Destanie
Markeitha
Quintisheyia
Quauante
Dijonnae
Sanswalez
Corderius
Nuresha
Drewsilla
Vantayshia
Rayqwon
Cordarrow
Toddrick
Shaquaysia
Jonqurias
Dalmontae
Dabrock
Johntavius
Secret (This was a little biracial girl who was abandoned)
Myenisha
Nastalgia
Quinnderrius
Tawanesha
Ladarius
Kwa’neal
Doryce
Qunntrail
Kwahmai
Diamond
Precious
Lamaraus
Laqulia
Ricknika
Nuresha
D’Jomonic
D’Mariye
Francheska
Steccie (a boy)
Eclesia
Schiquita
Desaray
Chytika
Elexsus (Yes, like Alexis)
Dichaunee (DeShawn?)
Lavonte
Shamonica
LaNautika or LaNautica
Lavitta
Aviance (ah-vee-ahn-cay)
Devonrick or Devaughnric
Twanisha
Exasperan
Limetrick (La-Me-Trick)

21 04 2009
Mwiks

I once met a white boy about 3 years old named tsunami gay! His mother worked with her made fun at my kenyan name( mwikali) which was odd! Naming madness is not unique to black americans only its in africa too and in europe. In london i worked with a woman with kids called trick a girl and shadow a boy.

22 04 2009
OsamaBinTambling

~ I dunno if this has already been posted, since we are talkin’ names here:

8-x

22 04 2009
Anonymous

This post reflects intra-racism, internalized racism, and classism. Typically low-income Black people are being demonized for naming their children names of their cultural choosing. Regardless of a child’s name, they are still Black. Barack Obama has one of the blackest names ever, and he is President of the United States. Just because poor Black folks do not wish to assimilate into White American culture, do not blame them for the racist, classist society, which they exist in. Wealthy White celebrities give their children absolutely ridiculous names (i.e. Apple, daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow; Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Less; Sage Moonblood, son of Sylvester Stallone), and barely anyone complains. Black people should not be condemned for naming their children identifiably Black names. White employers should be condemned for discriminating against them. My only advisement regarding Black baby names is that they be spelled correctly. Also, I think it is silly how White people name their kids the same names. I have been in classes with four Jessicas or two Melissas or three Johns. I think that is silly and reflects a lack of originality.

24 04 2009
Latoilette Izbebacknup

Ize like to name muh girl chirens Latrina ans Ginalotramin, an sheeit!

24 04 2009
abw

You sound a little petty like the girls you criticize that pass over good guys for jerks. Don’t make their mistake of being so critical where you pass over somebody decent for somebody that is not.

3 05 2009
Douglas

A buddy of mine had two foster kids, sisters named Uniqua and Jaquanna.

6 05 2009
tyra

totally agree with this article . I hate most black people give to they kids:Laquita,Shaniqua etc…..
I’m black and only 15 years old and i can’t tell you how many black people have mispronouced my name:Tyra. Its a simple nice name from scandanavia and I was named after my father and its insulting . I bet if my name was Jaquana or Gonarhea(yes someone name they kid this spelled like this)or Bashawna they would have no problem

6 05 2009
Billet

two things:

I had next door neighbors as a kid who named their daughters Precious and Jewel. They named their dog Diamond. I’ll point out that this was a family with enough money and education to know better.

I also know a chick who legally changed her name to La La when she turned 18. But, she’s a racist Australian, so maybe that explains it.

9 05 2009
gb

LOL, He’s telling the truth and it’s funny. But at the same time i think that the whole name thing was a way of us trying to find our identities in America. And yeah some people got some interesting names out the deal, but I believe ultimately a person defines his or herself , a name is just a title, it’s not a definition. To me it seems just as silly to take on an English/white name, and your neither english nor white, and this is the very reason why we as black people in America are not respected, because we are not rooted, and we take on the last names of English men, French men, and German men ect… to this very day. How can anyone respect a man who dose not bare his own first and last name????….So in many ways, I have respect for those people who had the courage to go against the grain, I still believe some names are just ridiculous lol

9 05 2009
gb

And it’s white people who have named their kid Dick! I mean come on Dick! Really! So you really gone call out for Dick. And I swear every asian person I meet name is Long Duck Dong are some shit lol! dont get me started

9 05 2009
gb

We are getting there black people..with no struggle there is no progress, and I believe in the strength and the power of the black spirit. Which is why we have been able to survive through all of this. I feel sorry for those black people who feel the need to conform to white ideas and criticize there own people, instead of of figuring out a way to up lift them and to find a resolution. It’s easier to point your finger than to extend your hand. Let’s all be apart of a resolution and not judge one another based on names, skin tones, and hair textures. Do something helpful for your neighborhoods. Everybody is missing the point, because if we come together as a people, and build our own neighborhoods, our own businesses, and our own net working systems. We want have to worry about why some ones name is “skrjfhsjkrghjklae”.

11 05 2009
Wanna go rock climbing? « Franchise

[…] a comment » Of course you do! But why go with other lesser named rock climbing guides, when you can have the one with the strongest brand name: Josh […]

18 05 2009
Justin

OK…first off…the author has a good point. Why can’t you retards leave the article like it is?! The writer is entitled to his/her own opinion and just because you write and say something different doesn’t mean that he/she is wrong. In fact, most of the time, it was quite the contrary. So…since you all feel the need to degrade the author, I am going to show you how stupid you look!!

1) “gb” – you dont want people to judge based on skin tone, yet 4-5 lines earlier you say you “…feel sorry for those who have to conform to WHITE ideas…”??? Well, if NOT naming your kid “fantasia” or “LafawnDUH” is conforming to WHITE ideas, then I guess you have a point. Wait, no you don’t! – You’re an idiot!

2) “Anonymous” – What you fail to realize is that Gwyneth WAS criticized by her peers and the WHOLE world for naming her baby “Apple”. Where were you when all this was going on? I know where you were, Anonymous – you had your head buried in your @$$, looking for a scapegoat like CLASSISM, to attribute your lack of success to. You, also, are an idiot!

3) “Admiral Furious” – Your post is so contradictory that I almost didn’t respond. Still, I couldn’t resist “ripping” on some ignorant BLACK RACIST (yes, they DO exist people – everywhere)!! You’re gonna tell me that if I am ripping on a stupid black name I had better be black?? Right above that, you rip on names in about 3 different cultures?? #1 – THAT”S STUPID! #2 – That’s like telling me I can’t say “nigger” because I am not black!! Well, guess what? – I CAN! Oh, and Admiral Furious – there’s nothing you can do about it! Now, while you are looking up half the words in my post in your swahilli dictionary, I am going to continue to exploit ignorance in the rest of these comments.

18 05 2009
Anonymous

Justin:

I will not dignify your rant with any further response.

19 05 2009
NoniBerryJuice

I feel there should be middle ground on naming… that’s why I use blogs like these ones to find ways to circumvent ignorance. For example if I like name (say something innocent like an alternate spelling of a god or goddesses’ name) and want my child to have it, but I know there will be a blog like this one, I give him/her that name as a nickname and not a legal traceable name. A nickname should only be revealed to those that can be trusted. I want my children to be respected for their content of their character and not devalued just because a name isn’t someone else’s cup of tea.

19 05 2009
NoniBerryJuice

Oh and before I forget, I also have a nickname that I only give out to those I trust to judge me by my character than name.

19 05 2009
BOSONLY

HAHA i really really hate those parents who decide it would best to combine their names to create a “UNIQUE” (and this is for a reason) name: for instance i know a girl name Charbra… prounounced Shar-bra… which comes from CHarles and Barbara… seriously it sounds like a damn Pokemon….. CHARBUCK

26 05 2009
Coco Green

I actually had the displeasure of meeting a black woman who had 2 boys (twins) and their names were Oranjello and Lemonjello…not exactly pronounced phonetically but damn close enough to make someone wonder why the hell she gave those boys those ridiculous names.

26 05 2009
Coco Green

By the way, my name is NOT actually Coco haha, that’s a nickname. There is no way in hell that I’d be ragging on these ghetto names and my name actually being Coco…it’s short for Courtney

29 05 2009
Rudy

I’m a mail-carrier and recently noticed the name of a newborn on my route: Ja’Honey. YIKES!!!

29 05 2009
kashana

i love my name, even though my last name is kinda white, but i dont care if anyone comes and tell me that my name is stupid! it’s cultural, i’ve met so many people with names i cannot pronnounce but i try not to make fun of it because i know it means something to them. so i dont know why people are hating

31 05 2009
TN

your asian aside is so awful and that’s how I feel for laughing at it!

ironically phuc means good fortune lol you can probably guess what ethnicity I am from my email address hehehe

2 06 2009
John Doe Gorilla

Niggas and their crazy fucking names. Don’t get me started on that one.

However, here’s an ever better topic. Start a blog on this one.

What percentage of black women are actually men? Or rather, what percentage of black women have a penis?

Hmmm, let’s see. I can go to the zoo and fuck a primate… or I can go find some nigga bitch whoring on the street corner who looks like a babboon with make up and clothes.

Bro, you know you crave that white pussy? Just admit it. You love that white pussy over that nigga pussy any day. You want that soft, juicy beauty of white pussy over that animal gorilla pussy any day of the week. YOU LOVE THE WHITE BITCHES!!!

Make a blog on that. Make a blog on how you’re a nigger and how you hate the white fucks…. but you can’t deny that you just fucking love WHITE PUSSY!!!

It’s crazy, isn’t it? Although I’m not a fan of black bitches, do you think I crave black pussy over white pussy? Not in a million years. It’s just nature.

9 06 2009
euripedes923

Well, when you have children popping out children and no babydaddy in sight for very long, what’s a not-so-bright girl to do to boost her already sagging self-esteem?
I’ve taught 9th graders and here are some of the names they’ve come up with for their little bastards, er, love children:
Khrystall, Sha’Quandia, Kharheeme
Some of my 9th grade moms still couldn’t spell their own names correctly.

16 06 2009
Brian

Here’s what I want to know. Why are so many black people named Tyrone?

Tyrone is a county in Ireland. It’s an anglicized form of Tir Eoghan, which means, in Irish, “land of Owen.”

Tyrone is, in fact, where my family is from.

So, I’m flattered so many African-Americans name their children after my homeland, but sort of baffled, too.

I mean, why not Monaghan? Why not Cork? My wife’s people are from there. It’s lovely.

Anyhow, if you could help clear this up, I’d appreciate it.

Thanks!

19 06 2009
Nigel

(Figure 2.)

The cropped left end of this image contained like 40 angry African-Americans and a street sign that read “Crenshaw|Adams”.

20 06 2009
Kayla

I’m from Baltimore (Ghetto name capitol of the world.) Over the years i have went to school with the worst of the worst when it comes to names..but im gonna keep it short and just throw up the worst!

1. Jimquana
2. Donkera
3. DayBrionne

20 06 2009
Kayla

oops and i almost forgot about CHARTRAVYIA ( I WISH TO GOD I WAS LYING)

20 06 2009
Dizzle

I know someone named ThankGod. Ahahaha!

21 06 2009
Rob

La La? Are you fu**ing kidding me? I think her mother must have been in “la la land.”

However, I did know of a Judge in Texas whose name was Cigar Stubbs

22 06 2009
jaundice

aawwww hells to da mafukn naw!!! nos white honkees best be postn on dis. yous aint got no rite to be talkn whenz you name you kidz stoopid shit lik eric an jack an namin yo bitchs melisa an terra. im proud of my afriking name you all need to stop hattin!

23 06 2009
carla

mercedes? my grandmother was born before the advent of the (any) car, and her name is mercedes. ???

23 06 2009
Ford Mercury Lincoln

I don’t like my brothers name. We can speak it but nobody knows how to spell it. georgarkanshine?

23 06 2009
Ford Mercury Lincoln

Want to hear some real stupid names>

Ice-T
Q-tip
Snoop Dog
Tamp-On
T-Bone
Toe-Jam
Tater
Soup Bone
Magumba

or how about

Wang
Fat Ho
Ho Chew Wang
Wang Chew Ho
Ho Blo
Hoo Slung Kum
Blo Ho
Ho Kum
Sue Wang Chu
Chu Sue Wang
Hump Kane

24 06 2009
Melissa

Strangely enough, I stumbled across this site while searching for Nantucket rentals? Anyway, the author of this stuff is stunningly funny!

25 06 2009
John Doe Gorilla

THe author is not funny. The author is a nigger.

SCHA-WING!!!

27 06 2009
Name(required)

No kidding – names seen at a public health facility in Kansas City, MO:

Chlamydia “The doctor told me that’s what I had, and it sounded so beautiful, that’s what I named her…”

Shithead The story goes that the nurse who could read English pronounced the kid’s name correctly. The mother lumbered angrily up to the desk… “His NAME is ‘shith – eed’! “

27 06 2009
Name(required)

Oh – can’t forget this name:

La-a

Are you ready for ths?

Really?

How do you pronounce that?? Huh?

‘Ladasha’

That’s right, folks, the dash is not silent.

27 06 2009
MissLady

I think my name is a weird and i really dont like it much.My name is Jhiara.
G.Are.Rah.
People never seem to pronounce or to remember my name but dont think its in the “Ghetto” category either.

3 07 2009
travis

what about :

fonquayla
bonqueefa
bongwonda
baloofa
secrecia
t’weeta

3 07 2009
southernlady

My mother named me “Letitia”. She was reading a book when she went into labor, and that was the name of the heroine. She was expecting a boy (hence, I was to be a “junior”), and she had no name for a girl. She didn’t settle on my name until she found out that it meant “joy”. 40+ years later, there are still days I wish she’d named me “Joy”. Phonetically, my name is “Letisha”. I wish I had a dime for everyone who told me that my name was “spelled wrong”. I wish I had another dime for all the people who insist on calling me “Lateesha” (MAJOR pet peeve of mine). Then when I use the nickname I’ve had all my life (Tish), people INSIST on calling me “Tisha”! This is NOT a name I’ll be passing down…

4 07 2009
Elizabeth

There’s a MALE attorney in Mississippi named Precious. And he weighs about 800 pounds.

6 07 2009
Khalil

When we discuss the issues of naming children, no doubt it is a very delicate issue. I am rather defensive because my younger sister is the product of a ‘made up name’ my father pieced together. Of course some people argue these ‘made up names’ attach an unwanted stereotype, make children the blunt of jokes, and worst can inhibit a child’s professional success; however, I assume my parents deep commitment towards our academic success facilitated my sister to be graduate as the salutatorian in high school, to finish one of the top 50 colleges in the United States, finish a prestigious law school, and achieve the position of Assistant District Attorney. Nevertheless, I will admit, if I were an employer with resumes from Prada Sheneqontonyia Smith and Emily Dianne Jackson, both sight unseen, sadly, I may gravitate towards the latter. Why you may ask.

Too often Dave Chapel, Mike Epps, Ricky Smiley, often highlight a particular image of a ghetto-ized person with these names. Then a few hours after laughing at their comedy, we walk in McDonalds and guess who is taking our order, Infinity-Samsung Harris, RayKwan Cadillac Davis, or Doqueshia Gucci Chapman. Sadly, the stereotype of these names do not hit home until you see these workers wearing pants sagging, cheap 14K gold, maybe an urban tattoo or two down their arms with Thugg Life, and finishing things off, they are wearing $145 Air Nikes on an $8 per hour job with some 22 inch rims on their 89 Caprice.

But let me clarify one thing, William, Robert, Melissa and Monica emulate similar urban behaviors; however, comedian Martin Lawrence for example, chose to identify the urban diva as Shanay-nay and not Gwendolyn or Emily. Why is that?

8 07 2009
James

From a friend: “I’m filing release forms for kids who were extras for this Sears commercial my company did and there was a kid whose name was, I shit you not, Cymphonique and another girl named Sh’Diamond.”

11 07 2009
Daniel

Anybody remember the runner-up from the 3rd season of Tyra Banks America’s Next Top Model?

Her name was Ya Ya (pronounced Yah Yah).

LMAO.

Hey, but she’s a model!

12 07 2009
Daniel

I remember a girl from junior high school named Jateria!

12 07 2009
Daniel

I have a cousin who was born on July 4th, 1976 and her parents named her-

Bicentennial

12 07 2009
ulysses

nobody says you should not name your child after what you want. in fact i believe that ones cultural heritage is very important and unlike many asians do that give their kidds an “american” name for outside the house and an asian middle name which they use at home (which i find utterly ridiculous), i intend to give my kids greek names, real names with a meaning and an inspiration, mind you. i guess the problem is making up ridiculous names that are not even words and that have no meaning. now most people, regardless of race, in this country don’t know the meaning of their names, but that is another story.
i worked for a period in the pediatrics dept of low income district of an italian city and to my surprise most of these kids had foreign names, as an effort to make them sound as if they had no connection to the reality they were going to grow up in, it’s a different version of the same issue.
bottom line, chose wisely your kids names, cause they’ll carry them for the rest of their lifes.

p.s. “mercedes”‘ father was gotblieb deimler, not the person mentioned above

14 07 2009
Mrs.AaronJackson

As a teacher, I have heard of some crazy names. Some sound like their parents named them after a snezze (Huchuwy) but I know some crazy white people naming their kids things like

a set of twins – luke & leia
twin girls – betty & willma (they were not even sisters were they?)
boy – Shinning (to this day I still picture that boy in the hallway EWWWW)
girl – SallyMoon yes SallyMoon is her first name, middle is nicole

I just hope I never run into a Sponge Bob

14 07 2009
Mrs.AaronJackson

I almost forgot this one

Dillon Kane – It never crossed my mind until another parent made a comment about his father being in prison for drug trafficking. NOW THATS WHITE PEOPLE FOR YOU. Way to go Proud Parents!

15 07 2009
Natalia

Honestly, I find this discussion to be both humorous and ignorant. First and foremost, every name ever used is a name that was created by a person at some point in time, or was that not completely obvious? That being said, the only reason why these so called “black” names are not deemed acceptable is because they are “black”. Meaning this, any name a black person uses that is not white is a ghetto name, african or not. If you are black in America without a white name it IS GHETTO. The same way that asians want to seem less like immigrants by naming their children white names such as sue, lisa, amy, and justin. White people in general will do whatever they need to in order to make every “unacceptable” culture conform. EVERYTHING black people are actually allowed to call their own is either deemed GHETTO or conforms to white society (the only civilized society). It’s a shame, and you wonder why there are so many blacks confused, especially children. With nothing to call your own, and no culture to truly speak of…what is left? Black people just have to learn, as asians did…you conform or either you are shunned and made to be a lesser people.

*FYI* African americans being their own culture will never be able to really build a strong culture, their names will always be ghetto, their dress ghetto, their talk ghetto, their hair ghetto. GHETTO is a word that is used to halt any attempts to build a strong community. Every community needs culture.
Furthermore, I would just like to point out the fact that during slavery all of their african names were stripped of them and they were given their masters names, to show that they were property, nothing more than livestock, if worth even that. So ofcourse blacks wanted to be stripped of those names, that held the truth of an identity lost forever. When it was time to choose new names how could they go back to african names, long forgotten? And when they were able to go back to those names why would they? They were no longer apart of that society and would not be accepted as such. I have no stand point on the names accept that it would be nice to look at the bigger picture. There have probably been hundreds of thousands of people that named their daughters Shaniqua…how many more before its no longer ghetto? or abnormal? it’s just a common black name.

17 07 2009
Cheryl

I’m a teacher and I’ve seen some absurd names. LaSquasha, Quantarious, MyAngel…. But the white folks do it too. We had 5 kids from the same family in our school and kids 1-4 all had biblical names: Mathew, Sarah, Jacob, and Ruth.

They named the youngest Almighty. I shit you not. Did they call him Al? Nope. How the hell do you live up to that name? For that matter, how the hell is this kid ever supposed to introduce himself to somebody?

It’s like giving your kid an excuse to be a crazy homeless person with a God complex when he grows up.

17 07 2009
Cheryl

Oh and one more. We had an Indian kid whose name was pronounced Ahseet. Sadly for him it was spelled Ashit. In 3rd grade he decided that his name was Bob and would not even turn to look at you unless you addressed him as such.

18 07 2009
david akins

I think there are lots of folks with mismatched names. My name doesn’t fit my so called ethnicity. Why are so many white guys with no Jewish roots named David. Why give us these biblical names? It is stupid, especially since the people giving the names out are prejudiced against jews and other ethnic groups (I dont use the word race since we are all of the same). At least I didn’t get some old norse name like Torvalds or get named after my great granddad Axel.

18 07 2009
Old white guy

this was an interesting read, stupid names are not unique to any race, white people give their kids some of the stupidest monikers ,the famous skier from Idaho ,.Picabo (pronounced Peekaboo) Street ring a bell? An American Indian name meaning “shining waters”,.she was awfully blond to be an Indian.
as far as Asian names,.I know not enough about the culture to be indigent about a name in Cantonese that may seem ridiculous to me but have some real meaning in the language

we had a Black kid from here who was named ,..”Kocain Motherload”

he was semi famous because he was a stellar high school athlete with a shot it a college scholarship so he was in the sports page often,..but someone should have slapped his parents

everyone should keep that old saying in mind when naming a child

K.I.S.S.,..keep it simple, stupid

19 07 2009
Old white guy

Indignant

damn public schools

thats my excuse and I’m sticking to it

19 07 2009
Jenelle Nero-REid

This is why I researched my daughter’s name before I gave it to her. Malaika is Swahili for angel. I maintained the African/Arabic spelling out of respect for my ancestors.

22 07 2009
Tonia

As a teacher who has seen my share of crazy names(Crayvonteshia, Passion…etc) I knew that when I had kids I was not going to go down that road. Why would you saddle kids with these 20 letter names that are hard to pronounce and hard for them to spell. Names with Capital letters in the middle of the name. It’s crazy. I chose Christian and Ian, names that for me have real meaning and will not subject my sons to a life of resume typecasting.

26 07 2009
john

i heard people in africa speak with clikcing tongues……LMAO. who’s language is fucked up? lololol

27 07 2009
Bobby Peru

Hmmmm……personally am really, really pissed off with all the stupid names being bandied around by people, regardless of their ethnicity (personally, I’m a Honky, but I own a firearm so I guess that makes me half black – just kidding!!!!). The lady above who named her daughters, what was it? Morgan, Dorian and Khouri? Well, Morgan is a male name, so is Dorian, and isn’t Khouri something used in Moroccan cooking? You can shut up for starters. I’m marooned in darkest rural Australia and some of the white-trash names are absurd – a boy called Cougar (named after a favourite piss-poor bourbon that the white ferals drink), another called Diesel (presumably mum and dad were into propulsion systems – lucky it wasn’t Wankel Rotary-Engine), several Jet/Jetts etc. What surprises me is the amount of seemingly intelligent, educated middle-class types who call their kids something crap – I worked with a very wealthy commercial lawyer who called his son Xander. I had to point out that a Zander is a fish in the British Isles. I know another educated guy who called his son Darcy (shit name anyway) when the surname is Leadoux (pronounced “La-doo”) – say them together out loud and tell me that he doesn’t sound like a gay porn star. What the fricky-frick is going on? But wait – it gets worse……a friend reported hearing a mother (dressed up like a dog’s dinner) calling to her son, “Come back here now, Dartagnan!”. Did he have have brothers called Porthos, Arthos and Aramis or whatever? Why don’t all of us who have decent, non-wanky names move into a gated community? We could have it goated rather than gated if you prefer.

27 07 2009
dazmo

my name is la-a
“La (pause) a”?
no, fool! its ladasha! the dash dont be silent!

i also went to grade school with a girl whos parents named her “siphylus”
im not sure how she spelled it. . . im just sure that no sane person will ever
have sex with her. ever.

and then there was a chick named uzi.
the spelling is correct.
then there was derrick who was both tall, and greasy. he also smelled regularly.

27 07 2009
dazmo

and i worked with a guy whos name was tina. his parents called him tina.
tina singsongexonay.
he changed it though –
he changed it to tonight.
so we called him tony.

28 07 2009
Jane

I gad a cat named Alexander and I called him Zan and Xander. I like those names.

28 07 2009
Jane

I mean I HAD a cat . . . .

The other day I spotted the name of a lawyer – Bienville. That’s not good.

29 07 2009
Fozia Abdi

Yo some black pople got arabic names like jamal and latifah, which are alright, i mean i got one, but thats only cuase im somali, but seriosuly some people jsut butcher the names, once i met a black girl name princess, and a white boy named skyler, skyler’s parents were like hippies or somthing, and he was kinda of a bully, becuase of he’s shit name, and everybody kept dissing the hell out of him, that was some good times, like he made fun of my friend jamal, saying jamal is a made up name blah blah blah, then 40other kids with arabic sounding names would rush to jamal’s defense and start dissing out skyler the hippie, and this was in 8th grade! We got that guy, no he has no friends and no one likes him, we all made abet tho, if skyler tries to do a school shooting or some shit ( its always the white kids) we swear to take him out

29 07 2009
MD

I’m sorry, I had considered not saying anything, but I just have to:
KEYSHIA is NOT an “old Anglo-Saxon” name!! It’s a black name. Let’s get real here!! Cot damn!!

1 08 2009
Freemon SandleWould

O.B.A.M.A. == One Big Ass Mistake America

… and how…

1 08 2009
Jennifer Newton

I’m a teacher in Arkansas and a colleague told a story of a black mother in LA who kept calling the school to complain b/c no one was pronouncing her daughter’s name correctly. She was threatening a lawsuit. The principal finally asked her how the name was supposed to be pronounced. The name was written Le-a. The mother told him it was pronounced *Ledasha* because “the dash don’t be silent.”

3 08 2009
El Raton Mickey

Hey I’m latino and the trend with latinos is to give those all american middle class names to latinos….Briana, Jailene, Stephanie, Josh, Luke, Zack, etc. Except, they latinize the names to fit Spanish spelling…so James turns into Yems, Stephanie turns into Estephania, and I could go on. It sounds so lame for latinos to have an English sounding first name coupled with Garcia, Gonzalez, etc. It’s better to pick a name that works both in English and Spanish….Alan, Samuel, Christian, Alex, Maria, etc.

4 08 2009
jd

this blog is pretty comical but also very ture.
you would think all that the blacks of the past have been through,that they future generations would pic themselves up and better themselves.
in my view there degrading there culture or whats left of it,
with 70% black in prsion, crime rate in there communities and no belts to hold there pants up! and the only important thing on there mind is gold teeth and how big of wheels they can fit on there 84 buick regal! its a disgust

6 08 2009
Claybourne Dupree

Claybourne Dupree is my first and middle name, and I’m black. I get a lot of people that say it sounds so sophisticated. Most of them, older Whites who can’t believe my first name is such. My fathers name is Clay so my mother said I was born of Clay, LOL.

10 08 2009
Michele (my black is beautiful)

just to let you all kno i am black (well, im mixed, but im seen as black), only 15, and my name is Michele and my middle name is Jhanice (pronounced with a short “a”…thx mom)…now, i was reading a lot of the names that people have seen and heard and i have had trouble pronouncing them even with the pronounciations given! so, why would a mother give her child a name he/she cant learn until they are like 6. and spelling it! OMG! these poor children have to study for years just to learn their names!

10 08 2009
Michele (my black is beautiful)

oh and i thought i should say that my mother chose a theme for my brothers (whose names are Jeremiah, Isaiah, and Elijah) all prophets…why, idk? but it made choosing names a lot easier once she got a trend going, lol

10 08 2009
Michele (my black is beautiful)

oh, and i kno twins named laquishiana and boquishiana…wat ever their mother smoked must have been some good stuff!

16 08 2009
Guest

I worked a temporary holiday job with someone named “Aquanetta”. I could never get over that.

17 08 2009
Elizabeth

I think that people of all races have crazy names. My first name is Lina, its prenounced like line but with an A. Iv always hated the name, and it has been pronounced wrong hundreds of times. Iv even had people say I spelled or pronounced my own name wrong. Thinking it was Linda or Lena or even Lisa. I think a lot of people are trying to come up with something unique. And some go a little overbaord. My kids are mixed(black & white) I named my oldest Malik Kareem. Malik from a book of baby names meaning King and Kareem after his father. My husband named our youngest son Prince Aviunce. I do think people should put a little thought into it before they name their kids. Think about how the name may impact their lives. Some may think its just a name but I was embarrased my name growing up.

20 08 2009
Bambizzoozled

Don’t forget Axilla and Oxter Pitts.

25 08 2009
kyle

instead of calling her lala u could pronounce it layla

25 08 2009
Bambizzoozled

Herro Rara!

26 08 2009
Sugar

There was a girl in my sister’s school named Season Curry.
I think I had the time of my life laughing at that. She was Hispanic though.
I’ve always been told that my family seems very white, especially with our names. Mine is Courtnei and my little sister is Haley.
People generally don’t think we’re black. And they get confused when I tell them I’m part Scottish.

26 08 2009
Bambizzoozled

Well, Sugar, there is nothing wrong with that name. I knew two girls named Precious Blessing, and Heavenly Treasure, do you find that funny? Well, they were Down Syndrome babies.

I am not mad, or taking a tone, I am just telling the truth here. You were laughing out of ignorance. Perhaps you thought the name was funny because these words have certain meaning to you Season Curry, obviously sounds like stuff from the spice shelf.

But let’s look at your name. Courtney is a place name (a surname used as a first name) meaning “domain of Curtis” and Haley means “hay meadow.” Today it sounds fine in English to name someone Haley Courtney Johnson. But to people of the past, who spoke English (of the time) I would be saying Hay Meadow Domain of Curtis Son of John.

Plus, Haley is a boy’s name.

27 08 2009
www.Blackpicvote.com

Was La La really that fine because if she was then she should upload her picture to and let us vote on it.

27 08 2009
www.Blackpicvote.com

Was La La really that fine because if she was then she should upload her picture to Black Pic Vote us vote on it.

28 08 2009
Lori

I once knew a girl named Quandeeka, at the time, it sounded new and different (in the 70’s), but now years later, it just sounds ridiculous, and I am black. I also know a woman who named her son Rahkeem Unique, and she hooped and hollard when she came up with it, like it was the greatest name ever!!. Now for the racist white gorilla poster, (and any other racists’ who posted on here)…but this is espeically for you gorrilla asshole, whom I started to not even give the time of day to, with your nasty posting’s and constant use of the racist N word…..stop hating on black folks…it’s not our fault that your penis is the size of a childs thumb…..you teenie weenie little dick fellow you!! stop hating on the big black dick snow whitey gorilla!!

30 08 2009
Death Poet

Yes, Asian languages sound “fucked up” to ignorant people, I guess it would be better to use a bastardized version of the English language huh? “I di’ent get muh wefare chick muh nigga, let muh aks ya a quetin.” Most blacks are either pissed because they can’t speak any language correctly or pissed because blacks have never invented any sort of written communication. And don’t say anything about Egyptians because it is very debatable whether or not they were black and in fact, it is noted in several scrolls that the light skinned pharaohs held the dark skins in great dis-regard. Sure we all evolved from Africa, but that is the point, we evolved and the blacks just kinda got left behind.

31 08 2009
Madyson

Whoever you are writing this blog, you’re fucking brilliant. And I meant that. I cried laughing and I don’t even have a sense of humor.

31 08 2009
To be Honest

It is very common in Africa and Asia to name the children after things that those people find mysterious or beautiful in English. You hear alot of foreigners named Hope, Patience, Fancy, and other types of names. In China you have even had people wanting to name their child “@”. Yes, the symbol.

So, I do not think its necessarily bad to name your child something meaningful in English. After all, traditional names are all very meaningful in greek, hebrew, and arabic.

3 09 2009
Tara

Before I comment, I would like to explain a little about myself. I am very white, very pale skin, white blonde hair (natural) and blue eyes. I would say norwegian decent if I had a clue of my heritage! I live in Central Florida, and for those who have never been here, it is very much like Georgia and Alabama. By that I mean there is still alot of tension between races. The rednecks here make fun of names of black people, but they are no better!
I can’t stand the stupid names white people give their kids! It’s like they get a map and point to somewhere west of the Mississippi River and thats it!
Sierra
Austin
Dallas
Cheyenne
Dakota
Houston
The ignorant rednecks are the worst. I knew a heard of a guy who named his sons Thor and Claw. There is a chick I went to high school with who named her kids Adonis, Ariel and Athena! These poor kids now live in a trailer in Tennessee! It’s pitiful. My kids, on the other hand, are named Samuel James and Charlotte Suzanne.

7 09 2009
Karl Brumbach

Thank you. Thank you. I love it when someone has the courage to address the truth in our increasingly PC world. No matter how stupidly someone behaves it is wrong to point out their stupid behavior, because you might hurt someones feelings.

9 09 2009
Jo'Kastur

What makes me chuckle are the people posting on here laughing at other peoples names and then saying, in the very next breathe, “That’s why I decided to call my son Quxthoola”

Generally it also amuses me when you read someones name out loud and they say no, it’s not pronounced like that you should say it like this … and then go on to use no rules of English and make up something totally different from what is written down. Seriously, the letters in your name dictate how it’s pronounced and that’s it – you’re not allowed to “re-interpret” them.

10 09 2009
MB

Our people tend to name their babies as if they will remain cutesy forever. Here’s some advice: name the future adult, not the present infant. Give your child a name that looks good on a business card. The odds may be against him but, if “LaDerishawn Jones” can overcome that name and become a lawyer, God bless him.

11 09 2009
Lala Quandeeka

I’ll define the meaning of some of the swahili ‘names’:

1. Lala- ‘To sleep’
2. Quandeeka- Actually spelled as ‘Kuandika’, meaning ‘To write’

I’m Kenyan and laugh when I see this kind of Swahili bastardization.

15 09 2009
Crawteniqua

Don’t forget mothers that name their kids after random shit they here in the hospital. I met this one young mother with a twin boy and girl named “Epi” and “Durral”

16 09 2009
SpaceToast

In my city, back in the 60’s and 70’s, there was a man with the last name of Boye. For some insane reason, his mother actually named him–legally–“Nigger”. Yes, this poor guy went through life with the name Nigger Boye, and he couldn’t even drive down the street without the cops pulling him over every chance they got. They just wanted to be able to say it over the radio without getting into trouble. He would just sigh and automatically pull over every time he saw a squad car. Needless to say, he had all kinds of other problems (work, etc.) as well. Why do people do this to their children??? As if that weren’t bad enough, the city is Birmingham, AL, so you can just imagine. YIKES!!!!

17 09 2009
angelique mckinney

Both of my daughter’s names came from the bible I gave them their names after carefully thinking that I will love them unconditionally which means I wanted EVERYTHING that is BEST for them. I do agree the names that some people give their children show their level of maturity when it comes to the whole parenthood thing. These are my daughter’s names
Ariel- Hebrew, means lion of God
Adriel-Hebrew, means followers of God

17 09 2009
angelique mckinney

I know some people who’s names are

Dashequa-mother, Jamarion-son, and the grandmother’s name is TaShema I am not kidding It’s a vicious cycle!!!!!!!!!!!

19 09 2009
Elliott Doland

My favorite is an eight-year-old girl I once had in my third grade class. Her name was “Bimbo”. What was her mother thinking? Or was she?

20 09 2009
CARLOS

How about this one people.

Has anyone ever met a black man named SKIPPY ? LOL

28 09 2009
angry asian

take up it up your ass fucker

30 09 2009
Ms. Crys

I am cracking my butt ~ up reading this… Of course my name is great.. (Crystal)

but even with a name so normal alot of my afro-american friends MISSPEL IT* adding the GHETTO* and Luxury latch on to it. In fact I get so angry with my friends for misspelling it, I call them right then to cut up.

example

Christle
Krystle
Christal (like the drink)
Khrystal
Seriously.. I could go on

I also, have a problem with the the damn Apostrophe or Hyphen* that does not make anyone add some style to your name, Example… Shandre’ (and this is a guy I dated 😦 how about Le’tundra ????))) and De-Shawn~ (SHOOT ME NOW GHETTO~

1 10 2009
awkard1

The best name I ever came across was le-a, all lowercase and pronounced lee-dash-uh.

1 10 2009
awkard1

I see someone beat me to le-a, but she was a real student at Waubonsee Community College a few years back.

2 10 2009
Jimmy John

LOL!!!!!! Success intersected with Lexus = an empty set. Priceless.

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